This must be her MAN?? He’s handsome!!!
a safe place for black women to talk & share thoughts
16 Nov 2013 17 Comments
This must be her MAN?? He’s handsome!!!
12 Nov 2013 27 Comments
Even when its in our own best interest many times to walk away from harmful things and situations???
I don’t get it.
When I look at Asian women, they decided they were going to live life for SELF and not simply their communities. SO they started dating WHOEVERTHEHELTHATTHEYWANTED and making their own ways based on their own NEEDS and desires and not those of their men and communities. People constantly talk crap about Asian women dating out of their race/culture and communities in high numbers. But many Asian women will tell you that a lot of them leave because they are tired of the traditional roles that are expected of women int heir culture. Roles that put them LAST.
And do we se other Asian women standing no the sidelines belittling their Asian sisters choices? NOOO. They mind their damn business and either stay in their communities and with Asian men or they simply do not say anything at all!
Maybe because like all other women on this planet, they are not expected to be the sole backbone and workhorse for their communities and therefore when they date out, marry out and generally seek the best lives for themselves, their communities don’t give them SHIT for doing so.
YET, here we have Black women who are constantly given the guilt trips when they are finally saying “to hell with a community that does not value me or the women and girls”. Suddenly everyone wants to keep serving “helpful reminders” that its our job to fix what is horribly wrong in our communities?? Or the the “helpful reminders” of one or two good things coming out of the Blakc community as a way to encourage BW to not give up.
LOL I really feel for Black women sometimes. No one (not even our own) wants to see us be free and happy. We always gotta be out FIXIN shit that is long beyond our control to fix and even when it burdens us even more.
To any Black woman out there who is TIRED of having to burden herself with FIXING everything wrong wight eBlack community, please do not allow others to guilt trip you into feeling that because you have decided to leave and look out for numero uno, that you are being irrational and not “REALISTIC”.
You have every right like every other woman on this earth to seek your own BLISS without feeling you gotta FIX and carry the burdens of your “community and race”.
Black women have been doing that nonsense for CENTURIES with NO POSITIVE RESULTS whatsoever!
The definition of insanity is doing the same things and expecting different results.
TO HELL WITH THAT!
12 Nov 2013 25 Comments
This post and vid are addressing the case of Renisha McBride and Glenda Moore.
Renisha McBride was a 19 year old African American young woman looking for help in the middle of the night, after having been in a car accident.
Her only real misfortune(s) in this incident was that she was (A) A Black woman (B) A Black woman in need of help (C) Assumed being a woman, that someone would help her.
So she went through a Dearborn Michigan neighborhood hoping that a good Samaritan would at least assist her since she had been in an accident, was alone and had no cell phone on her (reports said her cell battery was dead and therefore she could not call for help).
Because Renisha did not have long flowing blonde hair, White skin, she was automatically assumed to be a criminal by some lunatic who decided to open his front door and SHOOT HER IN THE FACE !
*sarcasm on* because criminals that usually commit grand larceny in people’s homes tend to be young 19 year old Black women who ring your doorbell alone *sarcasm off*
Instead of the racist lunatic (1) not answering his door (2) calling the police if he felt he was in danger, he decided to open his door and shoot her in the face and later claim it was an accident.
You know that whole “shoot & kill the Black person first, then ask questions later”
You can read more details if you wish on Google.
But what matters & the point is a 19 year old Black woman in need of help was shot in her face and killed because she was *ASSUMED* to be a criminal.
We all know how this would have played out if Renisha appeared on the front porch of ANYONE’S door in America with White skin and blonde hair. She would have been swept up off her precious feet by said lunatic, offered hot chocolate, a blankie, some cookies and the whole neighborhood would have come running out to her aid. Then the news outlets would have been there harrowing over said lunatic as a HERO for saving a young “blonde beauty” in need.
If by chance the lunatic shot her in the face (either by accident or on purpose) his ass would be sitting in a jail cell until the facts were sorted out.
Renisha’s only real misfortune was not the accident she was in, but the color of her skin.
Glenda Moore is another case in which a Black woman in red was shunned away because of a fear she was going to “hurt” the person whose door she knocked on for help when her two baby boys were whisked away in the storm of Hurrican Sandy.
If anyone still has any question in their mind on whether African American women in this country are not seen as HUMANS and WOMEN, just look at stories like this where a young Black woman in distress is assumed to be a criminal who is shot point blank to her face.
The good thing is: We do see her family and the Black community *GASP it’s gonna snow here in Los Angeles this week* taking to the streets and protesting answers from the police and prosecutors in looking into her death. We need to see more of this kind of organizing for our women and girls.
The fact is, until a community respects, loves and honors its women AS WOMEN, no other and no other communities will either.
Black women cannot afford to assume the position of a White woman in lots of cases here in racist America. That goes for most things. How many times have BW tried to do the things WW have done only to be more harshly punished?
Black women have to think and act differently in certain situations as to make sure we protect ourselves from lunatics and Black woman hating idiots. In other situations Black women have to be very pro active about avoiding things that tarnish our reputation. We all know Non Black women can do all kinds of questionable things and come out unscathed by their bad choices. And in many cases will be rewarded for their bad behaviors. This society does not value Black women as true women deserving of protection, the benefit of the doubt and a right to LIFE.
So in the future I would advise Black women always be sure to have a charged cell phone on them at all times, so that you can call friends, family or public safety (such as police and paramedics) when you find yourself in distress. Do not depend on your fellow American civilians to treat you as a WOMAN or as a HUMAN BEING as they would a NON BLACK WOMAN and seek to help you. If they do – GREAT, but do not DEPEND on that.
Then people wonder why Black omen walk around hardened, defensive, with an attitude? Everywhere we turn in this damn country, we are faced with the realities of being seen as LESS THAN HUMAN with little to no value for our lives while we watch the world fall over themselves to defend, protect and give the benefit of the doubt to other races of women with Whiter skin.
This is just more reason why Black women need to organize and start making noise for our own rights.
I must say however, that I am pleased this story is making national news and Black men and women are standing solid in fighting for justice for her.
09 Nov 2013 20 Comments
MY First VLOG!!! YAY!!!
05 Nov 2013 4 Comments
I cannot for the life of me understand why Black women who are happy with the way things are now, venture to sites where Progressive thinking Black women are trying to hash out, discover, discuss and come up with ways for Black women to improve our collective lot in life if they are offended by the topics and what the blogger and her commenters are saying.
People tend to migrate to places where they share common interests and like to do so, because it fosters a sense of community and likeness for individuals in some way.
In terms of Sites for BWE, there are a subset of Black women who for the longest could not find like minded BW who shared the same views because the majority is still stuck on stupid (yeah I said it!).
If you are a BW that is happy with the way things are, are “apathetic about being a Black woman” or believe that BWE bloggers are just overreacting, then STAY OFF OUR SITES! Its that simple.
I am not a stone cold feminist. Therefore I do not venture to JEZEBEL and complain to the posters and bloggers about their feminist discussions!
I am not saying that people of differing opinions can not exist on the same blogs. It is always good to hear and discuss different views on a matter. But if you are a sensitive person that takes everything personal or as an attack then you are best staying in places where people share the same opinions and views as you do.
if you are a person with thick skin and an ability to debate in a healthy way without taking everything personal or twisting things that people are saying, then by all means I think most intelligent people would welcome you and your opinions because sometimes we can learn things from people who have a different view or opinion.
But if you are going to places to troll and be dissenting because you have thin skin, then you need to stay away because you then become disruptive.
i had to do this myself. I ventured to a PUA site and finally realized if I didn’t like what was being said about women or in general, then I need to keep my happy ARSE off that site because its not for me nor is it targeted to me. So if I choose to stick around I need to either accept that a lot of the discussions I will not agree with and I need to accept it or move on.
Same thing applies here with Black women who are constantly complaining about BWE bloggers attacking their choices. If you like the way things are for Black women these days, or don’t see a need for change or “what the big deal is” then FINE!b No one is forcing you to adopt the ideals or values of Black women who are on the progressive path to change.
But do not go to the blogs being disruptive and overly sensitive or LYING on bloggers to create controversy.
Ok. Off my soapbox!
31 Oct 2013 23 Comments
KANYE IDIOT WEST: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/29/kim-kardashian-michelle-obama_n_4174967.html
“And classism has been going on before racism … No, we’re classist. We have our cool table. We got our house in the Hamptons. We got our boat, and we got our ticket to the Met Ball … And there’s no way Kim Kardashian shouldn’t be on the cover of Vogue,” West said. “She’s like the most intriguing woman right now. She’s got Barbara Walters calling her like every day … and collectively we’re the most influential with clothing.”
West continued, “No one is looking at what [President] Obama is wearing. Michelle Obama cannot Instagram a pic like what my girl Instagrammed the other day.”
This is the kind of stuff that should really not make it hard for American Black women to move the hell on.
Michelle Obama is on the cover of Vogue and you have this Black idiot Kanye claiming that his trashy “boo” is more intriguing and influential than the FLOTUS.
Seriously, when our best is being compared to trashy reality stars with sex tapes and booty shots on instagram?
Black women WAKE UP PLEASE! This is what your “Black Kings” who you are constantly sister soldiering for, freedom fighting for, always throwing yourself in front of the fight for say about your womanhood. They believe trash is better than classiest of Black women.
P.S. I gotta say all the pics I see of Kim K now she has been with Kanye, she has a dead look in her eyes. No glow, never smiling. I would too if I were stuck with such annoying nonsense called kanye West everyday.
27 Oct 2013 18 Comments
A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility
Black women are angry (at least the ones who can see the forest for the tree). Hell many Black women (even the ones who pretend they don’t see the forest for the tree) are angry. The difference is, one chooses to play dumb, the other chooses to acknowledge the ugly truths.
Anger is not necessarily a *bad* thing unless it leads you to destructiveness or causing hurt or harm to others. But as an emotion, it’s natural and sometimes necessary in order to understand that some things are unhealthy and what causes you anger, should be removed from your life.
Black women are Angry because for so long we are awakening to the reality of our state of being as a *collective*. And we are angry at people and things that continue to keep us in this ugly collective state.
But where do we go from there? Anger can only stick around for so long before it starts manifesting as bitterness within your spirit and life. If anger is not quickly channeled into or towards a healthy next step, it can and will only destroy the person harboring it.
THE INDIVIDUAL LIFE & THE COLLECTIVE LIFE – AND THAT SLIPPERY SLOPE
Individually many Black women are doing just fine in our lives. We have jobs, we live in good communities, we are free and able to live and do as we please to make ourselves as individuals happy and fulfilled. We are surrounded by loving family and friends.
But there is that thing called the collective. And when you live in a society that works and plays in collective thinking, you have no choice to be affected because no one lives alone in a bubble or vacuum. You may wish not to play the *collective game* but at some point you will have to partake be it voluntarily or involuntarily.
Once a happy individual Black woman starts looking at the collective destruction of those like her and how this can and does seep into her individual life in various ways, she starts to look at what is causing this collective destruction of the group she has no choice to identify as in this world and society.
The first reaction is mostly ANGER. That is because when you are angry, something most likely matters to you in some way. Anger is an emotion. Emotions develop from feeling. A progressive Black women who *cares* becomes angry no matter how well of a life she may be living individually. She understands there are generations of Black women BEHIND HER, that will continue to go down that path of collective destruction, if something is not done to try and stop the bleeding.
Our ancestors in America during times of slavery and Jim Crowe, I am sure were ANGRY at some point in their existence in the face of overt racism and the lack of rights they had. What they did was channel that anger not towards the *culprits* of their current positions in society, but they channeled it with positive action steps towards getting out of that position into a better one so that the generations behind them (US TODAY) can live better than they did.
In this society you are forced to identify racially and culturally and by gender. PERIOD. That’s just the way it is. And because of that it’s in everyone’s best interest to protect their collective best interests irregardless of the individual life they have. WHY? Because that is the world and society we live in. If your collective is doing poorly, you, no matter how well your life is, will have some aspect of that affecting you.
THERE AINT NO CALVARY COMING TO SAVE YOU SISTA!
That’s usually the first acknowledgement that a well-informed progressive Black woman has to understand and accept. And that, can and does make some angry. Angry because when you have been out calvaring and saving others who have not returned the favor you feel jipped and depleted of your love, time, energy, resources.
But, we as Black women need to learn how to channel that anger away from the *CULPRITS* who are trying to keep us on the path of destruction, and channel towards action to carve a better path for the collective.
The obvious next step to dealing with anger directed and those who are mistreating you and trying to hold your head under water is to develop apathy.
lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.
MOVING FROM ANGER TO APATHY
Black women who are progressive thinkers clearly understand that something has to change in our behaviors, mindset and how we are currently navigating through society today. We also understand clearly there are *CULPRITS* who are working overtime to keep us in our collective places, so as they can continue to gain privilege off of our backs and energy and resources.
For decades Black women *CHOSE* to play second fiddle to everyone: our community, our issues as women, our health, Black men, media, and now the chickens have come to roost – FOR US.
The anger is actually as result of feeling abandoned, neglected and constantly being (as Alchemist so eloquently put it in the previous post) in the *metaphorical firing squad* of those who need a punching bag and seek Black women as just that.
But once you have stepped out of the matrix, swallowed the red jagged pill, let in marinate in your system a bit, and then pooped it out, and become clear on what and who is at play, you really are in a much better place. You are free. As they say “The truth will set you free!”. It’s true! Knowing (IMO) is MORE THAN HALF of the battle.
The next battle is learning to move from anger to apathy. Yes, even in the face of culprits antagonizing, demeaning, trolling and doing any and everything to keep you from pushing forward. You already understand the root of why they do this. And it’s because of their fear of no longer having that kung Fu grip and hold on your life and being as a person and a collective.
When you become apathetic, you no longer have emotions. No emotions means no more feeling. And when there is no more feeling, you cannot get angry nor hurt. You actually become in a neutral mind state that allows you to sit back and no longer have to waste your emotional or mental energy on things and people who have clearly shown they really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But another benefit of apathy is, it doesn’t cause you to react. And not reacting is a good thing, when trying to live well and you are being constantly bombarded with negativity by people and things trying to keep you and the collective on the path of destruction.
Something else also happens when you become apathetic – People eventually learn to leave you alone. WHY? Because they know YOU.DON’T.CARE. and that they are wasting *THEIR* time and energy which is garnering ZERO results that they needed to keep you in a state of emotional turmoil.
the fact or process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim
Once you have mastered the art of APATHY towards things, people and places that are seeking to keep you in emotional turmoil and on the path of destruction, you now have the tools to move into action.
Action towards a goal or aim without the right mindset is futile. If you are still stuck in ANGER mode any actions that you choose will be marinating in anger as its foundation. And when angry you cannot make the best choices. You need a clear head and mind and to be in the *RIGHT* emotional state.
Black women need to learn how to use the powerful force of APATHY to help them make better choices. Apathy to action enables just that because there is no more emotional ties to the culprits of destruction. They can tease, taunt, troll, and do and say all kinds of things to get you off track – but you are apathetic to them and able to continue on your journey to helping yourself and other Black women see the light.
Part of Living well for Black women in terms of ACTION means, simply not becoming emotionally involved anymore. THAT is an action. No longer participating in destructive things to your individual and to your collective. No longer explaining and trying to reason with idiots and haters who need you as their punching bag. No more disclaimers or explanations on why you deserve happiness and the best life for yourself and you collective’s right to seek their best interests collectively.
Good feelings remaining after a pleasurable or successful experience
Once you have successfully taken the right action steps to living well as a Black women, you will experience the AFTERGLOW. It’s like the climax has come and the orgasm has been released and now you are just basking in the beauty of it all.
I can always tell a Black woman who is in her afterglow. She is happy. She is like a butterfly floating along and has clearly figured it out. She stays neutral and cannot be pulled into the Black hole of destruction anymore. She has removed herself, her resources, her time and energy from the culprits of Black woman destruction. The Culprits of Black woman destruction don’t even bother with her anymore because the light emanating around her is protective gear from haters. They can’t touch her. The light is hot and burning and they just melt away if they come to close.
This is where Black women as a collective *CAN* be and reach that afterglow. But it doesn’t just come. It takes steps to get there.
If you are still in anger mode, you still have a few more steps to climb before you are really free. Understand that huge gap between Anger and the Afterglow means you have to let go emotionally by becoming apathetic, and you have to take positive actions steps to keep the haters away.
If we as BWE women want to reach the masses of Black women, we have to do it without ANGER. These women are already fighting against the truth. If they believe we are just ANGRY women who are scorned, it will be hard to convince them to join our ranks.
So think about the 4 A steps and what you need to do as a progressive Black woman to get to the afterglow. Once you’re there, others will want to follow suit.
20 Oct 2013 60 Comments
Stockholm syndrome, or capture–bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness. The FBI‘s Hostage Barricade Database System shows that roughly 27% of victims show evidence of Stockholm syndrome.
Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes “strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.” One commonly used hypothesis to explain the effect of Stockholm syndrome is based on Freudian theory. It suggests that the bonding is the individual’s response to trauma in becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they cease to be a threat
When I read about Stockholm syndrome the first group I often think about afflicted with this horrible psychological condition are American Black women.
Now, now now, I understand Black women are not being held captive at gunpoint by any robbers or captors in a scenario where they cannot escape.
So you ask, Are Black women being forced and held captive against their will literally? NO. But we can see a parallel in SS and AA women clearly.
SO HOW ARE BLACK WOMEN AFFLICTED?
Think about the Black community. It may as well be a captor, an aggressor that seeks to rob and hold Black women as hostages while Black men are free at will with no repercussions to date and marry and simply live the blissful lives they choose outside of Black community lines, while Black American women are expected to be the sole thread and glue keeping the Black community and “people” afloat and connected.
Black women are expected to endure the Black community cesspool while progressive and even NON PROGRESSIVE Black men are expected to leave it and all remnants (including Black women) behind in search for their *INDIVIDUAL* American right to live the American dream. If that means throwing Black women under the bus, in many instances, SO BE IT! No shame in their game!
Meanwhile, what is this hostage situation providing for Black women? NOTHING. Instead, guilt, retribution, abuse, neglect, non-safety, and just a general mental and emotional poison that keeps Black women trapped and unable to move on with their lives as individuals although they see the situation they are in is dangerous and unhealthy. But unlike typical victims of SS, Black women *DO* have the ability to make a clean break and get away from their situation IF THEY SO CHOOSE.
Key operative phrase was *IF THEY SO CHOOSE*. BUT, Black women collectively *don’t so choose* in large numbers and thus what makes many American Black women VOLUNTARY sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome.
Just like the victims of Stockholm Syndrome described above in the Wikipedia description, Black women instead continue to carry on with irrational feelings of affection, empathy and sympathy and continue to defend all the people, groups and entities who habitually abuse her and her womanhood. Interesting that the description points out that victims of this unfortunate psychological position, will often defend those mistreating them and abusing them as well in certain instances turn the abuse they are receiving into “kindness”.
WHEW. Are yall still with me? Come on now Progressive Black women see clearly where I am going with this and are already knowing, what the deely is and how clearly this psychological issues affects so many Black women collectively its scary.
“OH HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS!” ~ Stockholm Syndrome affected Black women to their Captors
Ok. let’s count the ways!
1.) BLACK MEN
It is really no secret to anyone with eyes, ears a radio and television on how the typical American Black male feels about Black women and treats them collectively. We are used as their stepping stools by any means necessary to further push whatever agenda and privilege they have –
usually ALWAYS this is at the expense of Black women in some way, shape or form.
Instead of Black women saying “hell-to-the-no” Black women offer up their backs and anything else to help their “abusers” “users” get ahead. Of course there is no demand for reciprocation from Black women either. WHY? Because Black women automatically and stupidly ASSUME that all their “love” (what I prefer to call obsession by indoctrination) by going above and beyond for obvious users and abusers will eventually reap some rewards for us at SOMETIME in the future.
And, when it’s clear that there is no “sometime in the future”, no rewards, no praise, no Calvary coming to rescue or give back what Black women freely gave, then Black women keep pretending that they don’t see the forest and keep looking at that faltering tree that keeps bending and bending until its ultimate demise when it just falls over and snaps.
Black women continue to shout from rooftops how “many ways they love thee Black King” and we have not heard nor seen a PEEP from Black men reciprocating that same sentiment. Instead, Black men’s ACTIONS (the only real way to know how someone truly feels about you) has shown they basically could care less if Black women were to all walk off a cliff yesterday to never return – that is, until they need some Sister soldiers to fight “DA MAN” and the “JUSTICE SYSTEM” when he gets in some trouble.
OH But wait, there’s more!
These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.
Just because they aren’t calling you bitches or hoes or verbally abusing you, doesn’t men they aren’t abusing you. Sometimes your captors are wolves in sheeps clothing. Sometimes, your captors will actually throw what it looks to be a bone, but its a bone tainted with poison.
Black women just loooooove supporting them some Black woman nonsense. They even loooove supporting other people’s priviledge at her own expense and the expense of Black women in general. Even when she realizes it’s just further digging our image and womanhood in the hole. Black women will continue to act blind and run to support ANY and ERRRBODY making a movie, TV show, in where it features a Black woman in ANY OLE ATYPICAL non positive role, and where we are always in some kind of Pain porn, dysfunction, or being shown as the atypical unwomanly, masculinized, non-feminine nature – and especially when we are not the recipients of NORMAL FUNCTIONAL loving relationships.
Black women (like the description pointed out of Stockholm syndrome sufferers) will continue to make *EXCUSES* and vote with their wallets wide open for the very people using her image as a dirty MOP to swipe over Black womanhood.
The crazy thing about it is, black women will complain to the high heavens about how they are “TIRED of being shown as this, that and the other” but will run to the television and theater to support the very images and things she feels are creating a bigger issue for the perceptions of Black womanhood.
Just cause! In Black women’s minds, something is better than nothing. Crumbs are better than Nothing! They’d rather support a Black person or Black actress by any means necessary portraying some mess about Black women because many Black women unfortunately believe that “MAYBE ONE DAY if we keep sacrificing our dollars and selves for everyone else’s benefits that they will throw us a bone like a good ole dog get when he keeps begging and doing tricks!”.
And then we get back to reality. There is no ONE DAY. There is no bone. There is no Calvary. There is no Black man on a horse. There is no White producer, casting director, writer, filmmaker willing to sacrifice what they have been gaining off the backs of Black women, to GIVE US what we need and want to see of ourselves in the media. BUT, one thing for sure, there is that old dog doing tricks and still begging.
Giving back to Black women would not be in THEIR best interests, so like SMART shrewd people and entities that they are, they keep on taking from those foolishly willing to give and give while neither seeking nor demanding nothing in return. Unfortunately, Black women did not get the memo on shrewd and how to be such when dealing in certain situations as to protect herself and ourselves collectively from being used as road kill once again for everyone else’s entertainment purposes.
Instead, Black women keep marching on like plastic lifeless brainless toy robotic soldiers doing nothing but continuing to blindly support and make EXCUSES (there goes that Stockholm Syndrome again) for the very things and people diminishing her value as a human and woman.
The Media is probably the biggest source of this monopolizing on Black women’s non shrewdness and desperation for ANY CRUMBS – and they are winning, with many Black women running alongside them in the race with signs of support and excuses as to why they keep allowing themselves to get bamboozled into supporting and word of mouthing Black women NONSENSE!
3.) GROUPS, ORGANIZATIONS THAT ALREADY HAVE PRIVILEDGE
It kinda goes back to that mammying thing. Black women looooove swooping in to be the “saviors” and freedom fighters for groups of people and things that ALREADY have privilege and a safety net to fall back on. People who, don’t need BLACK WOMEN but gladly take from us what we are willing to hand over because hey, all the help they can get is good!
Notice I put “saviors” in parenthesis because Black women are not really saviors. When someone already has privilege over you, someone else gave it to them – and it wasn’t a Black woman. Black women can’t even save themselves! How can you call yourself saving others. All you are doing is expending what little energy and resources you do have and helping to prop up everyone else above you FURTHER. That’s all.
Just giving them that extra push ahead with your support, resources and dollars. All those things that if you kept to yourself would prolly catapult you past some of these groups who are constantly stepping on your shoulders and back to get ahead.
Also notice how these groups like to run guilt trips when certain types of Black women (LIKE ME) refuse to strap on some my sister soldier uniform and boots, utter a peep, drop a penny in their bucket, or give them praise. Pssh ask me do I care? Ask the growing numbers of Black women *WHO DO GET IT* if they care about those pathetic tried BUT UNTRUE guilt trips on us?
4.) BLACK WOMEN & PAIN PORN, DYSFUNCTION PORN, UN-FEMININE PORN;
Move along. Nothing to see here. Just more Black women being used as road kill for entertainment purposes. Filmed at 11.
Somewhere someone or something told Black women that their whole existence revolves around pain, anger, dysfunction, and it is our duty to accept it and go out by the millions to support any and everyone willing to show the world this. Am I saying Black women and HUMANS in general don’t experience these things? Nope! I’m saying Black women’s whole existence is not simply revolved around those things. Believe it or not Black women- Like to laugh, like being in love, like being feminine, like being complex 3 dimensional functional sane human beings with a life! A GOOD LIFE.
Not err Black woman is down in the dumps, grossly overweight, and entangled in some dysfunction or pain.
Like Stockholm Syndrome sufferers, Black women ACCEPT these captive/hostage like perceptions of us and can’t seem to see beyond that. Yes. Black women are held captive and as hostages to those very issues that the world loves to see using. Even if that is not the reality for many Black women, because so many other Black women have become COMFY and SETTLED into these roles and positions in life and in television, film, music, it becomes a way of living and life for so many Black women.
That is why it’s so easy for them to keep supporting movie makers (Black male moviemakers) who ENJOY making trillions of dollars off Black female dysfunction, pain and un-femininity. And they are getting rich from their mental and emotional hostages – BLACK WOMEN!
So Neecy, if all of these things are as clear as day to Black women, why do Black women keep DOING IT?
“Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself.” ~ Wikipedia on Stockholm Syndrome sufferers
WOWWWWWWW! DAYUM. Wikipedia Went.there.
Yeah it makes sense though. I mean it’s much easier to pretend these things are not happening, that you are not constantly being bamboozled, used and abused, when your ego just won’t allow you to accept the hard truth. When your esophagus just won’t open up and let the red little jagged pill down.
Come on. It’s pretty freakin hard to accept some nasty truths. Especially when you have been hoping, praying, giving and sacrificing all in the name of “ONE DAY WE GONE GET OUR DUE FROM EVERYONE WE MAMMIED FOR”, and that day just keeps never happening. I mean how could your ego not take a beating.
But Black women need to stop with the stubbornness and accept the truth. Swallow the red jagged pill and STOP with the nonsense! Pride will kill you – and your images.
THE DAY THAT KEEPS NEVER HAPPENING, WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP NEVER HAPPENING…..
Until Black women recognize, no one is happily going to toss over their privilege to YOU so that you can get ahead on their backs like they have done of you.
That one day that CAN and will happen is when Black women take hold of their future, image and womanhood and stop peddling it to people who are using it as a dirty MOP to swipe over the collective humanity, desirability, femininity and dimensions of Black women.
That day Can and will happen when Black women stop making excuses for their mental captors robbing them blind of their womanhood, prosperous lives and positive images.
That day Can and will happen when Black women LEAVE without guilt (and permission) the places that keep her entraped, entangled in poison, dysfunction, danger, and neglect.
Basically that day will happen when Black women DO FOR THEMSELVES what they have been waiting, hoping, sacrificing, making excuses, for everyone else who has shown they ARE NOT going to do for us.
14 Oct 2013 12 Comments
How many times have we looked in or at a magazine cover of a celeb and thought “MY GAWD SHE LOOKS FLAWLESS! WHY CANT I *EVER* LOOK LIKE THAT – UGH MY LIFE SUCKS”?
Yeah all the time right?
Well fear no more us little non-flawless lowly nobody peons of the masses! We now have an app that can make you look like pure flawlesness in less than 5 minutes (depending on how many choices you wish to play around with). And yes, you can make yourself look like a brand new perfect specimen all on your IPHONE!
Take a look:
Here I am *with make up*, but still normal everyday looking.
Here’s what I would LOOOOOOOVE to look like after remaking myself over in the Perfect365 app
LOL! So basically I gave myself perfect almost unreal looking skin, pretty light brown eyes and a more defined bridge on my nose.
*cue evil witchy laugh*
Ladies, the next time you start feeling bad about yourself when you see that celeb on the cover of a mag with flawless skin and perfect dimensions – remember with just a click of an APP on your iPhone, you too can look like a cover model
I have to add a disclaimer. if you do online dating, PLEASE do not use your Perfect365 app pic. I mean its one thing to play around with what you wish you looked liked, and post it on dating sites for potential suitors to swoon over. And then its another thing when you show up to the date with tore up skin and complete different nose and eye color. HAHA! uhm…ahem…. #NOT.COOL.
06 Oct 2013 25 Comments
I’m a magazine junkie. But in an effort to point out entities and people who support BW, I do have to point out that Glamour magazine has done such. Kerry Washington was on the September cover and now Rihanna is on their October cover. That’s two beautiful BW back to back. Gotta give them props for that.
ADDENDUM: KELLY ROWLAND is on the current cover of SHAPE MAGAZINE and her body looks a-fricking mazing!
Also in other news. I received an email from Jeremy who often lurks on the blog but doesn’t post much. He sent me an email outlining an organization that helps Black women seek and find justice. I wanted to post what he wrote here, because I believe in giving notice and thanks to those entities that show some support towards Black women.
Its important that if BW want to change our fate, that we acknowledge and show support of those people and entities that are doing it for us. WHY? Because once they see BW are serious about supporting them, they will continue to give us that support back – hopefully creating a domino effect and having other entities join in because they too want a piece of the BW’s support and resources. The same way entities and people who continue to demean BW’s images keep getting support from the Black community, is why they keep pumping that nonsense about BW out.
BW have to create a pendelum effect to create change in our favor. And that is ONLY by saving your resources, support, and dollars for those things and people who are throwing us a bone.
Here is the email from Jeremy and how African braiders have fought back to retain their ability to braid and not have to be subjected to paying for unecessary barber school fees and classes to do so.
I’m a fan of your blog and have made many responses to them. I usually respond from an individualist libertarian point of view.
One libertarian organization, The Institute for Justice, is taking on a court case that you might find interesting; something you might be interested in talking about on your blog.
“Austin, Texas—Should African hairbraiders have to build an entire barber college and become barbering instructors just to teach hairbraiding?That is the question to be answered by a federal lawsuit filed today against Texas by Dallas entrepreneur Isis Brantley and the Institute for Justice. A victory could promote economic liberty throughout Texas and beyond.
Isis Brantley is one of the country’s leading African hairbraiders. She works with everyone from Grammy Award-winning artist Erykah Badu to the homeless. But Texas will not permit Isis to teach hairbraiding for a living unless she spends 750 hours in barber school, passes four exams that do not teach braiding, and spends thousands of dollars on tuition and a fully-equipped barber college she doesn’t need. Tellingly, Texas will waive all these regulations if Isis goes to work for an existing barber school and teaches hairbraiding for them.
“Texas has no problem with Isis teaching, it just has a problem with her working for herself,” said Attorney Arif Panju of the Institute for Justice. “Braiders aren’t barbers, and braiding instructors should not be forced to build barber schools and take classes from barbers.”
Isis is no stranger to fighting for economic liberty. In 1997, seven government officials raided her business and hauled her off in handcuffs for braiding hair without a special government license. Isis had the law changed in 2007, but Texas officials simply wedged hairbraiding into the state’s barbering statute, allowing her to braid hair while making it nearly impossible for her to teach hairbraiding for a living.
“Isis wants to teach the next generation of African hairbraiders,” said IJ Texas Executive Director Matt Miller. “The quality of Isis’s teaching does not depend on whether she is standing next to a short-haired mannequin or a pile of barbering textbooks.”
“This lawsuit means economic liberty for my community,” said IJ client Isis Brantley. “Economic liberty is especially important for black women. This is our new civil rights movement.”The Institute for Justice fought a very similar case for a black woman in Utah, and they WON! (http://www.ij.org/utah-hairbraiding).. and in Washington (http://www.ij.org/diaw-v-washington-state-cosmetology-barbering-esthetics-and-manicuring-advisory-board-untangling-2)… and in Ohio (http://www.ij.org/hosey-v-ohio-state-board-of-cosmetology)… and in Arizona (http://www.ij.org/farmer-v-arizona-board-of-cosmetology)… and in Mississippi (http://www.ij.org/armstrong-v-lunsford)… and in Minnesota (http://www.ij.org/anderson-v-minnesota-board-of-barber-and-cosmetologist-examiners)You’ve mentioned in a past post how civil liberties groups fight for black men, and others, but rarely for black women. I just wanted to share this with you to know there are some civil liberties groups, like the Institute for Justice, a libertarian/conservative leaning group, who IS fight for black women and many others on many issues. I’m proud to be a long time supporter of their work.