As more keenly aware Black American women wake up to the reality that we have been bamboozled to sell our femininity to the highest bidders and how that has pretty much – not worked out for us (Black women at least ) as a whole – we will see more and more of the beneficiaries of the asexual, non-feminine, image of  Black woman coming out in droves to convince us we are “just crazay” and “seeing things”. That we are “overreacting” . Many will even go as far as guilting you for wanting to actually do something to change it.


So be prepared. There are many people who have a stake in the lowly images of Black American women and have had a hold on this stake for CENTURIES. Sometimes –  hell who am I fooling –  ALL THE TIME it gets very comfy at the top when you know someone else beneath you is taking the lickings that you’d be taking if they weren’t there.


As I have covered many times previously on posts here, how the African American female image has always been distorted to compliment White women and now today NON Black women in general, these images have never changed. And there is a reason for that. We live in a world where SOMEONE has to be on the bottom for others to be upheld to the highest standard. As long as there is someone “beneath” you, you can never fully worry about losing completely.


As long as there is a woman next to you who is fatter, you will look slimmer.


As long as there is a woman next to you who is more asexual, you will appear sexier.


As long as there is a woman next to you more  un-feminine, you will be deemed more feminine.


You get the point.


Black  American women have played the asexual FAT  friend, the mammy, the unflattering caricature, the un-feminine, uncouth sidekick for too long. The minute we realize we are no longer going to volunteer for the role of doormat and “whatever goes” people start getting scared.


People love when you act as they expect. It keeps them feeling safe and comfy.  When Black women keep staying in their little “boxes” made solely for us, people can sleep better and safely at night.  Once you start trying to wriggle yourself free from that lil ole box they keep pushing you in, that’s when all the gas lighting attempts start to converge like water in a waterfall.


Many people will challenge your determination to withdraw support from things, people, places and entities that are not for *YOUR* best interest as a Black woman because (1) they haven’t and will never walk a mile in your shoes (2) they are so accustomed to seeing you in a certain light, that they cannot even see when it’s in front of them the issues these images cause for *YOU* as a Black woman – WHY? Case they don’t have to deal with the fallout of all the negative anti Black female imagery in any way, shape or form (3) They loose the benefits of having someone beneath them and feel threatened by the come uppance of such group.


People who have no stake in your “fight”, image and the consequences of such, are quick to offer their “opinions” on why you “should” do this and that and why you shouldn’t do this and that.  It’s easy when you are sitting on the outside TRYING to look in to tell another person, group to overlook the obvious attempts at SABOTAGE and DESTRUCTION  of their humanity as women when you aint got to deal with NARY of the consequences.


What this means for the awakening Black woman is that you will have to be steadfast and unapologetic about your non-support and the putting on blast of  the obvious  entities, and things that seek to continue to attack and destroy whatever semblance of normal, feminine, characteristics Black women have.


Where there is smoke there is fire. You do not need to fully view a movie, television show, listen to a song, enter into certain venues and such, or “give certain people  or things a chance” when they have clearly shown & proven  themselves to not have the best interest of Black women. Better believe other savvy groups who upkeep their images, certainly are not going to throw a  bone to any entity or person or group that has shown little to no respect for them as people, women or men.


Back women have had enough. We are no longer sitting by idle and allowing our images as women to be attacked without now speaking up and pointing out the reality of this. If you have no dog in this fight, no stake in our fight, then  STEP ASIDE and move out of the way.


The isht is really going to hit the fan when more and more Black women start taking control and putting forth positive uplifting images and things of Black women. There will be all kinds of crazy tactics used to keep this from happening. LOL  I’m already prepared for the fight ahead because too many people have a STAKE in keeping the Black woman’s image in the mud.


I Felt some type of way…..

Before I get started – Just wann a say RIP Maya Angelou!! Truly a brave and talented woman who will be missed!




I was driving down the street in Studio City. Its a pretty good middle upper city with A LOT of traffic on this particular one street. The traffic tends to back up pretty badly, thus giving you time to take in all of your surroundings. Studio City is a nice area with lots of little boutiquey restaurants and stores, yoga and pilate studios etc.


So as I am at the stop light I look over at the bus stop and I see this BIG ASSED poster advertisement for a TV show called “Orange is the new Black” staring me and everyone else in traffic in the face.




I swear on my LIFE this poster was on the bus stop in STUDIO CITY of all places in one of the busiest highly traffic areas.


Yes I felt some type of way. But what was it?


I was sad. I was mad. I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. I was not shocked but shocked at the same time. I was SAD….then I was MAD again, cause at some point she said “SURE!!”.


Then I asked myself – should I be feeling these things? Am I overreacting? Is this just CIONCIDENCE?   Because its just… I can’t explain it.


So I came home to look up the poster on google to share with you what I saw. And I came across the cast photo and this was what i saw:




– Yes that one Black girl at the top has tampons used as curlers in her hair


– Yes the Black woman on the far bottom right has a maxi pad covering her eye.


– Yes the White girls *MANAGED* to look pretty decent and attractive while everybody else kinds didn’t *MANAGE* to do that.


At what point do you just turn down a job? Or do you just not turn down a job? Or do you just say I am not representative of my gender and race so I’m doing me? Or do I, Neecy, A Black woman disconnect from this image and not take it personally?


Can this be done? I dunno. Cause I was feeling some sort of way about that BIG BRIGHT poster of that Black woman at the Bus stop.

And then when I thought I had seen the worse of it; I discovered THIS:




(Yes that is Julianne Hough of Dancing With The Stars apparently on Halloween)

– Uhm there were like TWO other White girls she could have dressed up as, but….


I’m going to stick the shiv in just a little deeper just in case you’re like “NAH!! That’s just a coincidence!”


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Are y’all seeing what I’m seeing? I’m not seeing that coincidence thingy some of y’all are probably saying is happening.


I mean are we that THREATENING they gotta just do us like that???


I don’t understand. I mean shouldn’t Asian women be getting this brundt since they are the biggest threat right now?




The Revolution *IS* being televised ladies.  Turn off your TV BW cause this stuff will raise your blood pressure!

Its time for Western Women to FESS UP!

I am so over the Western Woman hypocrisy and whining. Especially when there are women  and young girls in other parts of the world who have ZERO say in how they live their lives day to day, who they choose as partners, whether they will or won’t get an education and live a life of promise based on their own dreams and desires. These women do not have the ability to shape the kinds of men in society that they wish to marry, date, and pro create with. Unlike Western women who have much power in their hands to control the sexual market place and shape how we want men to treat and see us as women. More on that later…..


Obviously we have all heard about the latest with Elliot Rodgers and the unfortunate killing spree he went on.


Elliot Rodgers was an ENTITLED yet mentally disturbed male who happened to also not get what he wanted in terms of women. Clinically he was dealing with Aspergers disease which is a social disease that affects a small portion of the population. of course not all Aspergers sufferers are mass murderers. But its clear this young man had some serious mental issues that were addressed by his parents. But his sense of entitlement was his biggest problem.



He was not your TYPICAL MALE by any stretch of the imagination as some feminist sites would suggest. Normal men do not go around killing people and making manifestos about how they are going to slaughter women because they couldn’t get laid.




Normal males who typically suffer sexually with women like Elliot did, who have issues attracting women, either suffer in silence and deal with their awkwardness the best way they can, while being ignored by women and going through most of their lives without knowing what its like to have the affection, touch and warmth of a variety of women.


These men do not become bitter woman-hating losers. They accept it for what it is and make the most of their lives the best way they can and hopefully find a woman someday who will love them.


There are MANY western men (mainly White and Asian) who fit this profile. These men are often raised to believe that women want nice, loving guys who will treat them kindly and respect them as women. Men who will give women their space and not be pushy or aggressive. Men who act respectable to women and treat women as equals and who are not sexist. And they play by those rules and do just that to only be ignored and sexually deprived or worse called “Creepy” and “wolves in sheep clothing” simply because they are acting the way their mothers and society and women “CLAIM” they want men to act. LOL


Most of these men will go on to do great things in their lives career wise because they have placed all of that lack of sexual energy into things that are more productive. Suddenly, that is when all of those women who ignored them come running (women who are much older now and who cannot compete with the up and coming younger women for the bad boys they chased after and gave all of their affections too).


And many times, these good guys end up marrying these women later on and giving them the house, the picket White fence, the 2.5 kids and dogs. Giving these women who ignored them in their early years the life that all of those losers and jerks she slept with, dated and gave her affections to when she was young and hot would never give. And many of these Western White and Asian men do this unselfishly knowing these women would not have spit on them if they were on fire when they had nothing and had other choices in bad boys and jerks who treated them poorly.




Unlike Elliot Rodgers, Other men choose to recognize their social awkwardness and understand that the only way they will improve their love lives is to make some changes. Many of these men up until now did not have outlets to find or express their issue, concerns and even anger. These men do not feel “ENTITLED” to women, but they like any other normal human being, want to enjoy being loved and in intimate relationship with the opposite sex.


These men treated women kindly and were good b/f’s and husbands who were burned one too many times and walked over by women because of their kindness and unwillingness to treat women like crap.


The point is, they didn’t sit around blaming everyone. They have chosen to take action to make their love lives better.


These men clearly have awaken to the reality that what they were fed all of their lives about what women “WANT” or say we want is completely afferent from our actions. They call this discovering the RED PILL. That harsh reality that sets in that all of their lives they did what society, their mothers and fathers told them to do only to not be rewarded for it. They watched so many women they loved and treated well leave them for losers or questionable men who didn’t put in half the effort.


These men are a lot more savvy and choose not to be used and walked over or ignored by  women anymore and are learning the techniques that the “bad boys” use to get the affections of these women. Many of these men have either gone sexless or been run over in relationships and mistreated or dumped or walked on by women who used their niceness and kindness as a doormat, while giving all of their love and affection to he guys who stepped all over it.


Fortunately for many selfish women who take these guys for granted, many of these men are still in the dark on how to change and have just accepted their role as the doormat to women who use them. However, with all the latest on the “manosphere” articles since this Elliot Rodgers incident, there will be just *THAT* much more men who are now exposed to the PUA sites and the “RED PILL”.


The other half of these men  have discovered PUA sites (PICK UP ARTIST SITES) to help them understand how to become  more attractive and pull the kinds of women they want, while also protecting their best interests.




Then you just have loser men who simply cannot connect to women because they hate them and feel that by simply EXISTING, they should have access to any and all women they chose. When they do not get that, they lash out at women. Unlike the other two groups of sexually deprived men who have either put that sexual depravation energy into more productive things like their careers or the ones who finally wake up and realize they have to make some personal changes with themselves to become more attractive to women, these OMEGA woman haters (Like Elliot Rodgers) choose the easy way out by harming women or simply hating them and lashing out.


The point I wish to make is this. All of these articles popping up by feminists and women using Elliot Rodgers as some sort of poster boy for “men feeling entitled to women and our bodies” need to have a seat. Now they are blaming PUA sites for the reason why Elliot Rodgers and those of his ilk exist.


Sorry ladies. Here to tell you that the PUA sites are a result of the LIES that women have been telling men for so many decades!


Men who are tired of being walked over, ignored by women who are rushing to get to the guys who treat them like crap!


Women do not want “NICE” men. If we did, we wouldn’t assume every nice guy is some wolf in sheep clothing or “creepy”. Nice guys cannot and will not ever win in this society – at least not with women.  Women need to be more honest with ourselves and MEN and say what it is we really want in men.


And that is where the PUA sites come in, and win to teach these in the dark men how to change their mindset and learn about the psychology of women as to be more successful with women.


Women have been doing this for decades. We just didn’t call our sites, books, roundtable discussion on relationships and the  psychology of men PUA sites. We talked amongst each other about the good, bad and ugly of men and how we as women can circumvent the psychological processes of men to work in our best interests as women. Well men are now doing the same and feminists are not having it.


You see. Men have every right to discuss amongst themselves the psychology of women. Just as women sit around and say not so nice things about the psychology of men, men are finally speaking out about the “not so pretty” psychology of women.


And that not so pretty psychology of women to most who have gone through their lives seeing the hypocrisy of women say one thing while doing another, causes them to converge and create way that they will no longer as “good nice guys” be walked over and ignored.


The difference between these men on PUA sites and the Elliot Rodgers of the world, are the sincere ones who go to the PUA sites who still have goodness in their blood, truly want to improve with women. They do not hate women, they just want to understand women so that they can be more successful with women. And sometimes what they learn on these sites about the  psychology of women is an eye opener. Then there are of course the loonies who venture to PUA sites and ruin everything with their bitterness and anti-woman rhetoric. But the premise is, most of these men want to make themselves more attractive to women. They want to learn how to become better socially in settings so that women will stop calling them “creepy”.


They want love and affection as do most human beings. And  they are doing what they see garners that from women.


They as human beings have a right to want to learn the good, bad and ugly of women so they can adapt and have more successful relationships. They no longer want to be in denial or in the dark losing out while the guys who managed to figure out what women REALLY WANT reap all of the rewards of women’s adoration and affections.


So please with the “why do men feel entitled to our bodies”. If you are a woman living in a Western society,  you have it made! no man is  forcing you to do anything against your will. And if he does, he will have the law to answer to for it.


Western women need to get a clue and shape up or else things will just get worse if we keep lying to men and ourselves.
What we really want are good, solid men with a backbone. A man that is not “nice” and supplicating, nor a man who is a  misogyonist jerk. We want a man who is strong, CONFIDENT, sincere, compassionate but can stand on his own two feet and who we can look to as a protector, lover and someone with good character and good qualities.


The problem is NICE GUYS are awkward and typically not very confident and are  socially inept and often times too supplicating for most women to respect. And this is what we women will simply not come out and say.


There are a lot of Elliot Rodgers amongst us. Not the murderous, angry, bitter, entitled Elliot Rodgers. But the sexually deprived young male who doesn’t;t understand why women don’t like him despite him being everything his mother and society told him to be.


Western Women have the POWER to create the kinds of men and relationships we want. I have always firmly believe that women hold much more power than we give ourselves credit for , especially in the sexual market place, where we have the goods that men want. Men will adapt to women’s societal demands in the sexual market place based on WOMEN’S willingness to uphold ourselves to a higher standard and demand nothing but the best for ourselves.


Men have power in various ways. They do not hold it with the sexual market place. What men do is they ADAPT to how women respond and demand certain behaviors based on our ACTIONS.


If women want better men, then women have to be better women and stand by that. We cannot have slut walks and then cry foul and say we do not want to be “slut shamed”. We cannot oversexualize ourselves and bodies as women and then claim all men are objectifying us as women. We cannot loudly proclaim we can sleep around with whomever whenever and expect men to hold us in high regard as women, wives and mothers. We cannot be so entitled to feel we can spend our young years as women sleeping around with tons of loser men, ignoring those quality guys and then EXPECTING those same quality guys to love, honor and cherish us as their wives and mothers of our children when our behavior has not warranted such.


We cannot live ratchet as women and expect men to not follow or treat us as such. We cannot keep rewarding jerks and losers with our affections and expect men to take us seriously later on when we “CLAIM” we want nice good guys.


Its time to be honest with ourselves as women and to men,so that young men can have fulfilling relationships with women and so women can too have fulfilling relationships with well socially adjusted men.


Uhm…, yeah



Yes I’m Weighing in on Don Sterlinggate nonsense

Ok I wasn’t going to really weigh in on the ratcheness that is Don Sterling but I have a couple things to say.


I’ll start withe the disclaimers:

1) I don’t care about other people’s personal intimate relationships or how they got together or who is using who. That’s their business.


2) I am not rallying behind anyone in this matter. All folks involved have some serious issues and need to seek therapy for a number of reasons


3) I believe women should be above simply relying on their looks to get by because there will come a time if she has nothing to fall back on other than her looks, when those looks fade.


4) I do not care personally about Don Sterling, his G/F, or his wife


5) This post is not necessarily about Don Sterling and his Half Black girlfriends relationship or his bigotry. its about the reactions towards her.


So thanks in a dance for not assuming I am riding for Don Sterlings girlfriend. I am just sitting back and observing the comments and remarks and drawing my conclusions based on where these comments and remarks stem from.


Because of my intuitiveness and constant side eye at how society likes to take Black women and women deemed Black and drag them through the mud at every opportunity, I want to focus on the other issue that no one seems to be addressing because they are so caught up in pulling the girlfriend through the mud.


First off. Two people make an agreement to get into a relationship. It happens every second of the day. In every relationship with any human being, there is a trade off. One person enters into the relationship because they other person has something they like and want and vice versa.


We live in a society today where people can make some of the most asinine and insane choices in partnerships based on superficiality and other issues. It happens all day everyday.


What two grown consenting adults agree upon for their relationship is NO ONE ELSE’S BUSINESS! Unless one is retarded or unable to think or act on their own consciousness because they are mentally handicapped or disabled, then all bets are on and no one can claim they have been coerced, forced or beaten into submission to be in a relationship with the other.


Of course in a perfect world and society, people would only match up and be together for the best and most perfect of reasons. There would be no shallowness and no other superficial or materialistic reasons for such unions. But we do not live in a perfect world and people make decisions to be with others for all sorts of reasons whether we agree with them or not.


People make bad choices in mates all the time. Some more than others, but nonetheless it’s done quite frequently today. People put up with all kinds of nonsense with mates for a variety of reasons – some shallow, superficial and stupid. Sometimes it’s for materialistic reasons or just simply the person has major mommy, daddy or childhood issues.


Men are able to choose mates (without guilt) based on their looks. All we hear all day every day is how “men are visual”. Like it’s innate in them to want the best looking women and not necessarily the best mate for other reasons that matter besides looks that fade.  No man is ever called a SHALLOW DIGGER, BEAUTY DIGGER, or PREDATOR,  for choosing women based solely for their beauty and YOUTH. All we hear all day every day is how men love beauty and youth and have a right to pursue it. All we see daily is men who pursue the women they want based on a lot of reasons – one being her looks number one and everything else falling in second place.


You would be hard pressed to find any man with options and a bank account who would feel bad about disqualifying women for potential partnerships if she did not meet his physical standards.  We as a society accept this about men and say “boys will be boys”. As a result, women do what they can to be the best attractive mates for the types of men they want.


Young attractive women are well aware of their value when it comes to their looks and beauty and men who have the means to pursue them for that.  They are also well aware that there are more than enough men, young and old who desire and want nothing but the most attractive women on their arms. And for the men who have the financial means to do so, they pursue these women and use their materialistic wealth and such to get them.


Young attractive women have been going out with, hooking up with, matching up with “sugar daddies” and well off men for centuries and decades. The tradeoff has always been her beauty and his wealth. Men are willing to use their wealth to attract the best looking and most beautiful and youthful of women, and women have been willing to use their youth and beauty to attract the more well off of men. It’s been happening for decades and centuries.


IOW’s I’m saying no one is being FORCED to be in a partnership with ANYONE unless they chose to do so. Any man who is well off is prolly not an idiot and is a pretty good critical thinker when it comes to his money and how and who he plans to spend it on.  This is to say, no millionaire, multi-millionaire or billionaire is being coerced into spending his hard earned  fortune on his young girlfriend or any woman for that matter. He does it because he wants to or because he knows that is what he needs to bring to the table to keep that kind of woman on his arm and in his bed.


At this point you are probably saying “ UH NEECY, WTF does this have to do with the price of tea in China and Don Sterling TURDLING???!”


Well I have just been kinds reading around on different sites about this scandal between Don Sterling, his Half Black g/f, his wife  and obviously his racist rants that were recorded.



While I could care less about either persons in this nonsense, I do have to speak up and say I am really disgusted with all the assumptions and nasty comments being made about the girlfriend.


“She a gold digger”

“She’s a ho”

She’s disgusting

Many of which I think stem from an underlying hatred of the idea of any young and attractive Black girl or half Black girl getting anything remotely material from wealthy men (especially White)  in relationships.


It is long and widely held that Black women and women deemed Black do not deserve to be treated to the finer things in life.  Despite this losers racist beliefs and such, he still choose to do things for this girl and buy her all kinds of things, give her a home, cars, money and other gifts. That was HIS CHOICE and her ACCEPTANCE of such. He hasn’t done anything no other old geezer dating a woman more than half below his age has done, and she hasn’t done anything no young attractive woman in her 20’s would not do if given the chance to have a “sugar daddy” that laps her in luxury.


People will overlook and not say one word about the SCORES of Non Black women who only hook up with, date, sex and marry Black men who are well off. Rarely are these women dragged through the mud for obviously only wanting to be with these Black men for money.


Yet it goes back to this idea that its “INNATE” and “NATURAL” for a White/Asian and non-black woman to want to seek the best for herself and future through materialistic means and thus choosing mates based on that. People will make excuses as the day is long for all the Non Black women who do this by the hour because they believe it’s natural for them to want to live good and have the best.


A Black or half Black woman does it and she is a no good disgusting low life that needs to be, beheaded and strung up by her heels and stoned to death for “gold digging” on these poor helpless men showering her with money and gifts.


Another reason I give the side eye to all this hate and shade being thrown at the girlfriend and the constant term being thrown around that she is a “gold digger”  is because on the daily there is a huge concentrated effort and has been for decades to keep attractive Black women under wraps as to avoid competition for the wealthy men.


This is why we see all these bombardments of “online dating studies” saying how Black women are least desired, all of the media shows and such showing Black women as mammy’s or fat, obnoxious asexual sassy unfeminine Amazons, etc. People do not want Black women or women deemed BLACK in the GAME!  (no pun intended) LOL  There are a lot of people who are working overtime to keep Black chicks like Don Sterlings G/f from getting condos, cars, and just being taken care of because it cuts in on their potential and turf. PERIOD.


By dragging this girl through the mud, the message is being subliminally sent to other Black or half Black women, that if you dare mess with a man who has money and wealth, you will automatically be called everything but a child of GOD, disgusting and a “goldiigging ho!”


More ways to keep Black women in their “lanes” so to speak.


I’m a very critical thinker with a lot of intuition on things and underlying memes. People hate this girl because she is not your atypical White and/or Asian beauty getting things through her wealthy b/f.


I’ve noticed nothing but CONTEMPT for this girl especially by White and Non Black women and even some clueless Black women. It is well known that the creators of so called “gold digging” are the very women who have had access to the wealthiest of men for centuries – WHITE and ASIAN WOMEN.


So when young and attractive White and Asian women use their “feminine wiles”, beauty and youth to snag wealthy men (married, not married, divorced, separated whatever) people do not much bat an eye let alone dare try to pull them through the mud because the underlying idea is that young attractive White and Asian women are doing what “comes natural” by trying to secure men who can give them the finer things in life.


Of course women who simply use and rely on their looks to snag wealthy men are obviously unaware of the long term negative effects this will have once they start aging and getting older and no longer at the top of the heap in the Sexual market place, but that is neither here nor there. THE POINT IS, NON Black women are given constant get outta “gold digging” jail free passes because it is EXPECTED that men want “the best” and will pay for “the best” and in this society White and Asian women are deemed “the best” so no one really makes a big whoop out of Non-Black women who blatantly use their looks and youth to snag wealthy mates.


HOWEVER,  the same is not so true for young, attractive Black and even mixed Black women. The first thing that pops in everyone’s mind and comes out of their mouths is “She aint nothing but a ho and a gold digger” “She is a low life” and so on. It’s almost as if “how dare this Black or part Black girl get what the Non-black woman is supposed to have”. And that is the underlying theme in all the hateful comments that I am getting about Don Sterlings Girlfriend. Things that White and Asian women do on the DAILY without guilt, yet when a Black girl does it everyone wants to weigh in on what a “low life” and “gold digger” she is.


I’m tired of it and I’m  gonna call a spade a spade! This has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me RAH RAHING behind her cause, her actions, her choices or her behaviors. I aint got NADA to do with what either two of them have decided for themselves and each other. She’s not taking money out of my bank account or pocket so why would anyone care who is a gold digger anyway?? Is it your money they are “gold digging” NO? Then mind your business!


They are two grown people who have made a choice to be in a relationship based on their own desires. Not mine, not yours.


Is she cray for staying with a man (regardless of wealth) who would spew such blatant racist drivel about part of who she is? OF COURSE! But you know what? His White wife stayed with him for 50 years and had kids with him knowing what a slithering racist fool he was. Didn’t stop her from moving on to “less greener” pastures and finding a man with better character and a slimmer wallet. In fact, she’s been riding around skinning and grinning with him despite her condemning of him and  his remarks.  Yet, the WHITE WOMAN gets the pass, benefit of the doubt and the evil Black girl must be denounced!


People stay in bad relationships for all kinds of crazy reasons all day every day and get nothing out of it. She is not the first NOR the last woman with possible self-esteem issues or desires to simply be taken care off financially no matter how much of a jerk her b/f may be.


The term gold digging is played and tired. Any woman today that ends up with a wealthy man (especially a BLACK WOMAN) is called a gold digger. Yet men who seek out women  less than half their ages, or solely for their youth and beauty are not given these kinds of terms like PREDATORS, SHALLOW DIGGERS, etc.


Enough is enough! A  REAL GOLD DIGGER is a woman who pretends to love a man for everything but his money when the reality is all she wants is his money. A real goldigger makes a man believe she doesn’t see his money but just his person. A real gold digger schemes her way into a relationship by any means necessary.


Don Sterling knows that his 31 year old g/f is not with his 85 year old self for love. HE KNOWS THIS. He is aware she is with him for his money,  power, influence and  he had no problem using those things to keep her around! She is aware he is with her for her youth and beauty and had no problem sticking with him despite his racist ways.   PERIOD.


The only thing if anything people should be discussing in this story is the topic at hand. DON STERLINGS BIGOTRY. Not his personal choice in mate and what and who he spends his money on and certainly not his g/f who is guilty of having  low self-worth and bad choices in men. But she is not HARMING anyone because she has very little to no power to influence and wield over people’s lives and livelihoods as has Don Sterling.





I Just can’t fake it anymore!

Ok dammit. I just have to be true to myself.




PHEW. That felt good.


Even as a kid I hated  it – yes even the sugary ones with strawberry fruit at the bottom. I remember trying to get the strawberry filling out without the yogurt. Lol


so in my quest to get more protein and eat well balanced, the rave is all about yogurt. Greek yogurt especially.


So I say now I’m an adult and I can add things to it to help me get through it. I go to whole foods buy a big container of Greek non fat yogurt. Stock up on granola, strawberries and blueberries and fix it all up this morning.


I just couldn’t!! I tried. I looked like the kid who was forced to sit at the table and eat their veggies. You know small bites, long pauses in between, picking out the fruit and wiping off the yogurt, picking out the granola, making faces.


So I just have to accept I hate yoghurt even though is supposedly awesome for you and gives great protein.


Does anyone else hate yogurt? Ironically, I do like frozen yogurt.

PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE — How to not be DUPED as a Black woman into being the active recipient

First they Ignore you,

Then they laugh at you,

Then they fight you,

Then you win




I was perusing and catching up on some of the other sites I visit and came across YET another “study” done in the form of a buzzfeed informational vid (lol)  on Youtube that looked into the racial dating preferences of people online.




*YAWWWWWWWWWWWWN* Are we there yet? LOL Apparently not, because they keep rehashing the same tired idiotic online dating surveys and studies. WHY? What’s the goal? Mission?


Obviously mission 498573465834658734 has not been accomplished so we have yet another one to add to the files to get people either feeling like they are the shit or that they are just….shit.…But we all know feelings don’t mean shit at the end of the day. REALTY is the real shit.




I had to laugh because they tried to claim this was “another online” study done of (2.4 million people – LOL yeah cause that covers the entire gamut of human beings and their thoughts on certain things) when the reality is, its clearly the same idiotic study that OK CUPID did 5 years ago in which they kept hammering on about how Black women were least responded to of all races and where BW responded the most to others. IOW’s, “nobody wants Black women and Black women are so desperate they reached out for interactions with any and every male that contacted them compared to others races”.




If online dating “studies” is all it takes for some to feel good about themselves, then I’d say they are in the same boat headed up the same shitty creek without a paddle as the people who internalize the negative “results” of these “studies” and base their self worth and “LACK” of potential on these studies.


I asked myself, why on earth do these dumb ass online dating “studies” keep popping up in various forms and articles. What are they trying to accomplish by posting so called “stats” on what race and gender receives the most “love” online and in the dating world and which race and gender seems the “least” love.


There is never really any insights onto what the studies reveal other than what they reveal. Meaning, there is never any “helpful” discussion into WHY and WHAT drives these perceptions and actions online. Like negative and positive perceptions based on SUPERFICIAL means.


So in essence these “studies” keep popping up to drive a message to many different audiences intended to receive it.


My concern is simply for Black women since we are ALWAYS the intended recipients of the “YOU SUCK AS HUMANS AND WOMEN” messages.


And what I realized is, this propaganda in the form of “studies” is simply TEXT BOOK non-creative Psychological Warfare. Nothing more, nothing less.


To most people, though, they will look at these studies and internalize it based on what the intended message was for them. Some people will believe the dating world is their oyster, while others will believe the dating world is the be end all end to their existence. And if they are not at the “top” of the online dating preference based on race and gender, they should just crawl away in a corner and die.


Move along, nothing to see here sistas! Its the same ole same ole tired tactics used to influence and reinforce certain attitudes, behaviors, thoughts, actions and emotions in the intended targets.


The unfortunate thing of it all is Black women keep falling for this nonsense and keep using these blatant attacks on our humanity as women as a measuring stick to our potential, existence and abilities.


Yes the name of that tactic used to keep BW in our place is:




Let’s get some facts on what PSYWAR is:

psychological warfare




psychological warfare – the use of psychological tactics to destroy the opponents’ morale



psychological warfare


The use of various techniques, such as propaganda and terror, to lower an enemy’s morale.


Psychological Warfare (PSYWAR), or the basic aspects of modern psychological operations (PSYOP), have been known by many other names or terms, including Psy Ops, Political Warfare, “Hearts and Minds”, and Propaganda.[1] Various techniques are used, and are aimed at influencing a target audience’s value system, belief system, emotions, motives, reasoning, or behavior. It is used to induce confessions or reinforce attitudes and behaviors favorable to the originator’s objectives, and are sometimes combined with black operations or false flag tactics. Target audiences can be governments, organizations, groups, and individuals.


Yes Yes Black women need to be consistently reminded of this very common tactic used to keep us in our place.


Most people believe PSYWAR is only used in political and military situations. But its not. As Wiki pointed out PSYWAR is used in various different ways and methods and is used on various different “audiences”.


In the case of the endless barrage of IDIOTIC “online dating studies” and other similar studies that seek to inform the world of what race and gender is faring the WORSE, & that seek to discover which races and genders are most sought after and least sought after, the “intended” audience is Black women and everyone else who needs to feel some sort of way about US compared to them and all others.


We are the intended “recipients” of such blatant anti Black woman propaganda that keeps TRYING ( I say TRYING because they obviously haven’t achieved much success overall thus why they keep pinching off the original OK Cupid study and creating additional same like studies with the same results).


Anyone with a clear head, whose brain is working clearly understands that basing such worth as an individual on these kinds of studies is ludicrous. But most people are just sheep easily led to the slaughter based on simple, frivolous, meaningless information being fed to them.


Black women need to learn to stop being “active recipients”. If one chooses to read and internalize, then hopefully Black women can get to a point where what they are actually internalizing is not the message but the *REASON* for the message. I now read these articles and view these you tube attacks on Black women from a different place than the average unknowing Black woman or girl who actually believes this garbage. I see it for what it is and understand WHY it is.


Once you are equipped with the knowledge of what is at play, you can actually sit back, laugh and shake your head at the DESPERATION of it all. While the message is trying to make BW feel & look desperate, I can clearly see the desperation lies in those who keep making these studies and anti Black woman declarations. They see something they cannot change, so they are fighting back desperately with pathetic, laughable and questionable “studies” to keep certain groups in their place – be that at the top or bottom.


The bottom line is, Black women are waking up and moving into the global arena and folks are just flat out SCURRED! That is frankly where all this overdrive of “BW are least married, least desirable, etc” stems from. They believe the more they keep saying it, that it will stop BW in our tracks. Well its not working so they keep having to rely on the most idiotic of studies and “research” as their weapons and arsenal.


I am not saying there are no challenges that BW are going to and do face in the world when it comes to dating. But if Black women keep simply relying on these studies to “tell them their destiny”  and to guide our lives, you will surely not have a life.


The key is Black women in America *DO* have a lot of work to do when it comes to improving our image and perceptions. But that still does not mean that every damn male on earth uses those generalized perceptions as their measuring stick to love. There are simply SHEEPLE PEOPLE and men in the world WHO.GET.IT. They understand you cannot judge someone simply and solely by the group and race they belong to. Leave that to the simple men and sheeple. They deserve everything they seek and get (or do not get).


There is a saying which I ADORE. It is coined in many different ways, but the message is clear:


— The grave you dig for someone else, just may be your own.


— If you dig a hole for others, you’re sure to fall in it yourself.


Black women need to as OLS from has said “REMAIN NEUTRAL”    and watch the feathers fly and fall. In due time they will. And we will be left standing as that wonderful and true quote from GANDHI so eloquently put it.



Let them have the battle. What we want is to win the war. And the only way to win the war is to understand the tactics used to defeat us. Do not let Psychological Warfare defeat our missions as Black women.



Once more –  WITH FEELING:


First they Ignore you,

Then they laugh at you,

Then they fight you,

Then you win












Hello everyone!!


yes I am still alive and in good health lol.


i just haven’t been able to post because I was having issues with my computer in January in which I dropped and had to get it fixed. And then I had it stolen in February and I just got a new one. UGH!! so I wasn’t able to post because I don’t like using my work computer for personal stuff online.


but I got a new computer and I’m back in biz!!


i missed y’all!

Just a friendly reminder………


In case you needed to be reminded – Black women. You are a chair, a non human, a THING to be used as a prop for the so called “oppressed” White woman to smugly sit atop.

All the *WOMEN* are *WHITE*


All the *BLACKS* are *MEN*

Mosey on over to Not Your Girl Friday wordpress site and she outlines this so very eloquently. Here are a few links to get you started.

In the meantime and in between time let’s discuss……

Hold on ya’ll! I hear something in the background.

Is it a BIRD?

Is it a PLANE?


Hmmmm. Nooooo.

Wait, is it the sound of the CALVARY coming and consisting  of:

  •  White feminists decrying such blatant misogynist imagery? …….(against Black  women)




  • Black men denouncing such blatant racist imagery?…… (against Black women)



  • Sister Soldiers battle crying of such anti-Black imagery? …..(against Black women)



  •  The Black community marching for the support of such racist imagery? …(against its Precious Black Queens mules, workhorses, mammies)?




Then what is that sound?

OHHHHH! I’ve managed to finally make it out. It’s the sound of the one group of people _______ BW can always count on to speak out on our behalf!


Yes CRICKETS! CRICKETS  CHIRPING IN THE BACKGROUND is what BW can expect when yet another PRIVLEDGED group (i.e. White women, Black males, White males, etc.) gives us the middle finger and then apologizes afterwards. LOL

Granted this story was posted on Huff post and people of all walks of life came out to denounce the pictorial. But we ALL know two things:

(1)   No white woman editor of any mag would ever green light such a photo depiction if it were a White woman as the chair

(2)    if this had been the SAME pic of  a WHITE MAN sitting atop a plastic strapped mostly naked White woman with her legs in the air this would be all over the media and World news tonight. The White feminists would be running story after story, blog post after blog post, tweet after tweet, Facebook group after Facebook group of this ATROCITY against *WOMEN*.

But when the sentiment is “all the Women are White and all the Blacks are men” Black women get the shaft once again.

Now Let’s take a quiz. Just to keep our brains and minds refreshed of what is really going on and why Black women need to be aware and start creating our own calvaries for US.

It’s going to be multiple choice. If you get the answers right, consider yourself an enlightened BW who sees the shit for what it is. If not, keep reading my blog and other BWE blogs to gain better knowledge.

1.)    White feminists today:
(a)   Care about issues affecting all women

(b)   Are full of shit

(c)    Are aligned with Black women in the sisterhood for equality

(d)   always quiet when one of their own gets caught with their hand in the cookie jar

(e)   A & C

(f)     B &C

(g)   ALL of the above

True or False.

2.)    Racism only matters to the average Black person (especially Black MEN) when it comes from WHITE MEN.

(a)   TRUE

(b)   FALSE

3.)    In the eyes of society and “certain groups”, the most and only oppressed groups are:
(a)   White women

(b)   Black men

(c)    Black women

(d)   Crickets

(e)   A & B

(f)     C&D

4.)    If you are a Black women who feels todays feminist movement is full of shit and narrowly focused SOLELY on the issues affecting White women then you are:

(a)   Jealous of White women

(b)   Bitter against White women

(c)    Just stupid

(d)   Very aware and enlightened about the term “RECIPROCITY” and refuse to support movements and groups who do not reciprocate


(f)     D & E

(g)   A, B, C

5.)    In the eyes of society and “certain groups” all of the:

(a)   Women are White, and all of the Blacks are Men

(b)   Women who like bright rep lipstick are frisky!

(c)    mainstream TV shows and movies featuring Black women are to increase positive perceptions of Black womanhood and women.

(d)   Issues affecting Black women (like sexism AND racism) are the top priority of Black women “ALLIES” such as:  Black men, the Black community, Sister Soldiers and White women.

(f)     C, & D

(g)   All of the above

6.)    That disgusting picture was done to promote and bring light to:

(a)   The social and political racist power structure in society

(b)   How HYPOCRITICAL & FULL OF SHIT White feminists are

(c)    how It aint just White men who are racist and sexist!

(d)   Black blow up dolls

(e)   Why Black women need to wake the hell up and stop aligning with groups of people who DO NOT GIVE A SHIT about you or *YOUR* struggle

(f)     A, B, C, E

(g)   All of the above

7.)    The only “privledged” group(s) in the world, society etc. are White males?

(a)   TRUE

(b)   FALSE

Where there is smoke, there’s fire! Don’t get gaslighted!

Where there is SMOKE, there is usually a FIRE!

Happy New year everyone!! I know I have been gone a minute but with the holidays and moving and my computer still not working right, I didn’t  really have the time to devote to the blog in the later part of last year and first part of this year. I really do miss blogging because you know this is my passion. So while I may have dropped off, I am never going away because this is my HEART. Sometimes othe things get in the way, but I will never abandon yall! LOL

Anyway, I want to start my first post of the New year on something extremely important for intelligent and progressive BW to be aware of and to focus on. GASLIGHTING.

Black women have to be verrrry careful these days because there is MAJOR Gaslighting attempts to keep Black women in their place. And those gaslighters are of the same hue and race AND sometimes GENDER. Many are Black women who are still holding onto a wing and a prayer  STRING and a HAIR, on the idea that because they know a ton of intact and functional whole Black people, that this zeros out the  extensive dysfunction faced in the BC which Black women and girls are often the unfortunate beneficiaries of.

I have yet to see any other group of women be so blatantly against seeing themselves as a collective prosper than Black women. It’s really disheartening! I mean you have so many BW who are just stubborn and refuse to wakethehellup because of their own lack of critical thinking and being able to think outside the “BLACK BOX” that they will do any and everything to harass, demean and bemoan anything a Black women does that is not within the realm of FREEDOM FIGHTING for her race and people or MEN.

Remember folks: it has ALWAYS and will ALWAYS  be the male of a culture and community and race (in FUNCTIONAL communities and races – key word FUNCTIONAL) who is left to uphold and fight to retain his race by protecting the women and children of his communities. Once the male of a culture and race has LEFT and has no desire to do such and expects the women to do it, IT’S A WRAP! You can keep on fighting, clawing, and doormating yourself till death do you part, but you will NEVER EVER see any real results of improvement of progress until the MALE of a race or culture has it in his groin, abdomen, heart to fight to protect and uphold the goodness in his women and children and communities.

Examples of gaslighting Black women who keep holding onto a wing and a prayer STRING and a HAIR are Black women who:

n  Use purple unicorn incidents of non-dysfunction in the BC as examples of why BW should ignore BWE and others who are telling them to look at the BIGGER PICTURE and common dysfunction in the BC that are affecting BW near and far and ESCAPE.

n  Use their own personal lives as some sort of example or PROOF that BW should not fret nor worry about those talking about the overall dysfunction and dangers of remaining in a community that neglects the needs and safety and progress of its women (i.e. “There are no single parents, dead beat dads *IN MY FAMILY Or SOCIAL Circle* THEREFORE, all that other dysfunctional stuff people are talking is just because they don’t have what I have!

n  Focus on the 1-5% of Good BM who raise their kids, don’t have baby mommas and who love them some “dark skinnded sistas” as some sort of reason why BW should not expand their options because they know of several good BM who fit that profile (of course that means the majority and therefore many BW should ignore the obvious large percentage of BM who are not quality mates or fathers and focus on the 1-5% who are probably already married and in functional relationships). LOL. Oh wait, Black women looove man-sharing their KANGS!

n  Black women who keep coming up with REASONS EXCUSES to keep supporting, throwing their money, resources, time and support into Black men preying on the ignorance and non-critical thinking of the majority of BW by selling them books about BLACK LOVE (yet traveling the globe on expensive vacays with Non Black girlfriends and wives( LMFAO *Hill Harper you devil you!* :twisted:    ), movies and plays that are basically giving them the finger, by supporting networks, TV shows and entertainers who are using BW for net gain and then dumping them alongside the road with the rest of the roadkill once they get what they needed from BW.

n  BW who keep thinking that if they go out there and sister soldier & MAMMY for the Black community and Black men that ONE DAY, the favor will be returned.

n  BW who LIE and try to use progressive BW’s messaging as some sort of insane irrational exploit because “we don’t know good Black men or people”

The list goes on but I will spare you further headache.

But the bullet points are CLEAR examples of the typical gas lighting that so many other clueless non critical and COMFORTABLE in the PIG SLOP BW will give and use to tear down a BW progressive message that tells BW  *WHERE THERE IS SMOKE, THERE IS USUALLY FIRE.*

It’s easy for me to sit here and talk about how much of a decent life I have had. How I came from two loving parents and a whole family (although my parents divorced young, my dad still played a major part in my upbringing and life with his love and many contributions materially, emotionally).  I could go on and on about how I have not experienced the pain and dysfucntion that many other BW have. I can go on about how I never experienced rejection from Black men because I fit the “color spectrum” of what they tend to desire most.

YES we get it. There are plenty of Black women and people who did not grow up in or apart of the typical Black community dysfunction, who may not have dealt with the unfortunate end of colorism, who are not single moms,  who are not products of single parent homes, who have wonderful Black fathers and men in THEIR fAMILY!  But just because you didn’t grow up in or around it, didn’t experience it, doesn’t mean you are not affected in some way.

I’m of a lighter shade. I don’t know what it’s like to be put down for my skin shade as a darker hued BW may have experienced. Or being rejected by my own race of men due to my skin shade. But does that mean as a BW I shouldn’t CARE!??? Just because it may not affect me directly, doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me as a BW indirectly. I could have a child with a Non Black man who may take the skin tome of my mom or some other dark skinned woman in my family. Maybe my mother is darker than I and I do not want anyone putting down dark skinned BW because they are in my blood line and life. Or maybe I just think its FUCKINGSTUPID and SHITTY and INSANE to base beauty of a damn skin shade!

 I can come up with a whole host of reasons why just because something doesn’t or hasn’t affected you DIRECTLY doesn’t mean you cannot be affected INDIRECTLY in some way. And even if you may never experience another person’s pain or suffering, some people are just BORN to give a damn and want to make a difference no matter what kind of good life or great life they have and have had!

Example. Many of the BW in the BWE movement are mainly educated and many come from non-dysfunctional environments. Many had loving Black fathers and Black men in their own families and personal lives. Many have no OOW kids and are not single mothers and therefore have not struggled like the average single Black mother has financially or such. Does that mean we cannot look at THE BIGGER PICTURE and see what is going on outside of our lives and want to try to help other BW get to greener pastures and safer pastures and rational and non dysfunctional pastures???

The point I am making is, just because someone doesn’t experience something DIRECTLY doesn’t mean that shouldn’t care about those who are experiencing something negative directly or even acknowledge how not addressing a larger phenomenon can and often does seep into the lives of BW as a whole no matter how good of a life they had growing up or are currently living. No matter how educated they are. No matter how loving and whole of a family they came from.

We see every day the remnants of what happens when BW do not address critical issues and problems affecting us collectively. I have a great life and have been very blessed. But I also feel the pain and struggle of being a BW in America who as a collective is often seen as invaluable because of WHAT I am and not WHO I am. 

When the studies come out of Black women this and that, those studies are looking to BW as a collective. When we see young Black women not succeeding, being used, abused and kicked around, it may not directly affect me or Black women as a whole, but indirectly all BW suffer when we are not seeking to improve our collective agenda and lives for ourselves, the current and future generations.

When we continue to allow colorism to prevail (in which BW are usually the biggest sufferers), BW to be demeaned in media and public, to be shown as one dimensional, ALL BLACK WOMEN LOSE. No matter her economic status,  skin shade, education or lack thereof!

So this is why BW bloggers like myself, Khadija, OLS (not your girl Friday), Christelyn (Beyond Black and White), Evia and a host of other BW bloggers seek to reach out to Black women FAR and WIDE and encourage each other to do whatever they can to make the best lives for THEMSELVES.

And for us critical thinking BW that means REMOVING THYN SELF from dysfunctional people, communities and thinking. Because the more BW doing what is best for SELF, moving away from dysfunction and crabs in a barrel mentality that holds them back as an individual and person,  means more BW doing better COLLECTIVLEY, which means more BW able to counteract the negativity and BS that we are constantly bombarded with, means more Black women and girls living better more prosperous and SAFE lives.

You know I always think about that motto – “TOGETHER WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL”. Let me be clear. I have no interest in standing with clueless, careless, sister soldiers, hateful, jealous, idiotic, racist, Black women who are happy to continue to try to put sugar over shit and pretend that all is really well with Black women and Black people. That may be true in other parts of the world, but here in A-MER-IC-A – Black women have a lot of work to do for ourselves and our collective to prosper better than what we are doing now. And fortunately or unfortunately, (depending on how you look at it) it will be the critical thinking BRAVE, out of the box thinking Black women who will make that difference!

The  problem is many Black people don’t like their dirty laundry aired and when they see BW like me or BWE bloggers doing just that, they get pissed! That means they gotta actually take a look within and cannot point the finger to anyone or any other group like WHITE PEEPLES and play the victim.  When they aren’t doing that, they start their gaslighting BS talking about the purple unicorns and RARE examples of goodness as a way to DEFLECT from the major issues nad problems that need to be addressed head on.

Self relflection and improvement is a hard thing! And Black people got it BAAD. Well I dontgiveashit, I’m calling a spade a spade as are many growing CONCERNED critical thinking BW who want to see our collective PROSPER and stop regressing!

The  way the world works and how things improve is not by people sitting on their own hind legs and asses waxing poetic about how *THEY* don’t know dysfunction because they haven’t been personally exposed to it, and focusing simply on the life they have had and the people they know and using that as some measuring  stick to flick away obviousness of WHERE THERE IS SMOKE, THERE IS USUALLY FIRE.

GOOD and positive change comes from people who no matter their experiences, are willing to try to do their part in helping others – be it opening their eyes to things that are dangerous, non-progressive or physically stepping in and making a difference. For some of the BWE bloggers and BW TRYING to do their part in reaching and throwing a life vest to BW, simply using the internet as our voice is how we are trying to combat and do our part. Others may get in the trenches and physical go out and help unfortunate BW.

I dontgiveafuck how a BW does it. Anyone doing their part to help BW be it verbally or physically is MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

GASLIGHTERS can consume themselves in their own flames but I’ll be damned is I sit by and allow them to try to take the rest of us with them!


For your reading pleasure:

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