Stockholm syndrome, or capture–bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness. The FBI‘s Hostage Barricade Database System shows that roughly 27% of victims show evidence of Stockholm syndrome.
Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes “strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.” One commonly used hypothesis to explain the effect of Stockholm syndrome is based on Freudian theory. It suggests that the bonding is the individual’s response to trauma in becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they cease to be a threat
When I read about Stockholm syndrome the first group I often think about afflicted with this horrible psychological condition are American Black women.
Now, now now, I understand Black women are not being held captive at gunpoint by any robbers or captors in a scenario where they cannot escape.
So you ask, Are Black women being forced and held captive against their will literally? NO. But we can see a parallel in SS and AA women clearly.
SO HOW ARE BLACK WOMEN AFFLICTED?
Think about the Black community. It may as well be a captor, an aggressor that seeks to rob and hold Black women as hostages while Black men are free at will with no repercussions to date and marry and simply live the blissful lives they choose outside of Black community lines, while Black American women are expected to be the sole thread and glue keeping the Black community and “people” afloat and connected.
Black women are expected to endure the Black community cesspool while progressive and even NON PROGRESSIVE Black men are expected to leave it and all remnants (including Black women) behind in search for their *INDIVIDUAL* American right to live the American dream. If that means throwing Black women under the bus, in many instances, SO BE IT! No shame in their game!
Meanwhile, what is this hostage situation providing for Black women? NOTHING. Instead, guilt, retribution, abuse, neglect, non-safety, and just a general mental and emotional poison that keeps Black women trapped and unable to move on with their lives as individuals although they see the situation they are in is dangerous and unhealthy. But unlike typical victims of SS, Black women *DO* have the ability to make a clean break and get away from their situation IF THEY SO CHOOSE.
Key operative phrase was *IF THEY SO CHOOSE*. BUT, Black women collectively *don’t so choose* in large numbers and thus what makes many American Black women VOLUNTARY sufferers of Stockholm Syndrome.
Just like the victims of Stockholm Syndrome described above in the Wikipedia description, Black women instead continue to carry on with irrational feelings of affection, empathy and sympathy and continue to defend all the people, groups and entities who habitually abuse her and her womanhood. Interesting that the description points out that victims of this unfortunate psychological position, will often defend those mistreating them and abusing them as well in certain instances turn the abuse they are receiving into “kindness”.
WHEW. Are yall still with me? Come on now Progressive Black women see clearly where I am going with this and are already knowing, what the deely is and how clearly this psychological issues affects so many Black women collectively its scary.
“OH HOW DO I LOVE THEE? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS!” ~ Stockholm Syndrome affected Black women to their Captors
Ok. let’s count the ways!
1.) BLACK MEN
It is really no secret to anyone with eyes, ears a radio and television on how the typical American Black male feels about Black women and treats them collectively. We are used as their stepping stools by any means necessary to further push whatever agenda and privilege they have –
usually ALWAYS this is at the expense of Black women in some way, shape or form.
Instead of Black women saying “hell-to-the-no” Black women offer up their backs and anything else to help their “abusers” “users” get ahead. Of course there is no demand for reciprocation from Black women either. WHY? Because Black women automatically and stupidly ASSUME that all their “love” (what I prefer to call obsession by indoctrination) by going above and beyond for obvious users and abusers will eventually reap some rewards for us at SOMETIME in the future.
And, when it’s clear that there is no “sometime in the future”, no rewards, no praise, no Calvary coming to rescue or give back what Black women freely gave, then Black women keep pretending that they don’t see the forest and keep looking at that faltering tree that keeps bending and bending until its ultimate demise when it just falls over and snaps.
Black women continue to shout from rooftops how “many ways they love thee Black King” and we have not heard nor seen a PEEP from Black men reciprocating that same sentiment. Instead, Black men’s ACTIONS (the only real way to know how someone truly feels about you) has shown they basically could care less if Black women were to all walk off a cliff yesterday to never return – that is, until they need some Sister soldiers to fight “DA MAN” and the “JUSTICE SYSTEM” when he gets in some trouble.
OH But wait, there’s more!
These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.
Just because they aren’t calling you bitches or hoes or verbally abusing you, doesn’t men they aren’t abusing you. Sometimes your captors are wolves in sheeps clothing. Sometimes, your captors will actually throw what it looks to be a bone, but its a bone tainted with poison.
Black women just loooooove supporting them some Black woman nonsense. They even loooove supporting other people’s priviledge at her own expense and the expense of Black women in general. Even when she realizes it’s just further digging our image and womanhood in the hole. Black women will continue to act blind and run to support ANY and ERRRBODY making a movie, TV show, in where it features a Black woman in ANY OLE ATYPICAL non positive role, and where we are always in some kind of Pain porn, dysfunction, or being shown as the atypical unwomanly, masculinized, non-feminine nature – and especially when we are not the recipients of NORMAL FUNCTIONAL loving relationships.
Black women (like the description pointed out of Stockholm syndrome sufferers) will continue to make *EXCUSES* and vote with their wallets wide open for the very people using her image as a dirty MOP to swipe over Black womanhood.
The crazy thing about it is, black women will complain to the high heavens about how they are “TIRED of being shown as this, that and the other” but will run to the television and theater to support the very images and things she feels are creating a bigger issue for the perceptions of Black womanhood.
Just cause! In Black women’s minds, something is better than nothing. Crumbs are better than Nothing! They’d rather support a Black person or Black actress by any means necessary portraying some mess about Black women because many Black women unfortunately believe that “MAYBE ONE DAY if we keep sacrificing our dollars and selves for everyone else’s benefits that they will throw us a bone like a good ole dog get when he keeps begging and doing tricks!”.
And then we get back to reality. There is no ONE DAY. There is no bone. There is no Calvary. There is no Black man on a horse. There is no White producer, casting director, writer, filmmaker willing to sacrifice what they have been gaining off the backs of Black women, to GIVE US what we need and want to see of ourselves in the media. BUT, one thing for sure, there is that old dog doing tricks and still begging.
Giving back to Black women would not be in THEIR best interests, so like SMART shrewd people and entities that they are, they keep on taking from those foolishly willing to give and give while neither seeking nor demanding nothing in return. Unfortunately, Black women did not get the memo on shrewd and how to be such when dealing in certain situations as to protect herself and ourselves collectively from being used as road kill once again for everyone else’s entertainment purposes.
Instead, Black women keep marching on like plastic lifeless brainless toy robotic soldiers doing nothing but continuing to blindly support and make EXCUSES (there goes that Stockholm Syndrome again) for the very things and people diminishing her value as a human and woman.
The Media is probably the biggest source of this monopolizing on Black women’s non shrewdness and desperation for ANY CRUMBS – and they are winning, with many Black women running alongside them in the race with signs of support and excuses as to why they keep allowing themselves to get bamboozled into supporting and word of mouthing Black women NONSENSE!
3.) GROUPS, ORGANIZATIONS THAT ALREADY HAVE PRIVILEDGE
It kinda goes back to that mammying thing. Black women looooove swooping in to be the “saviors” and freedom fighters for groups of people and things that ALREADY have privilege and a safety net to fall back on. People who, don’t need BLACK WOMEN but gladly take from us what we are willing to hand over because hey, all the help they can get is good!
Notice I put “saviors” in parenthesis because Black women are not really saviors. When someone already has privilege over you, someone else gave it to them – and it wasn’t a Black woman. Black women can’t even save themselves! How can you call yourself saving others. All you are doing is expending what little energy and resources you do have and helping to prop up everyone else above you FURTHER. That’s all.
Just giving them that extra push ahead with your support, resources and dollars. All those things that if you kept to yourself would prolly catapult you past some of these groups who are constantly stepping on your shoulders and back to get ahead.
Also notice how these groups like to run guilt trips when certain types of Black women (LIKE ME) refuse to strap on some my sister soldier uniform and boots, utter a peep, drop a penny in their bucket, or give them praise. Pssh ask me do I care? Ask the growing numbers of Black women *WHO DO GET IT* if they care about those pathetic tried BUT UNTRUE guilt trips on us?
4.) BLACK WOMEN & PAIN PORN, DYSFUNCTION PORN, UN-FEMININE PORN;
Move along. Nothing to see here. Just more Black women being used as road kill for entertainment purposes. Filmed at 11.
Somewhere someone or something told Black women that their whole existence revolves around pain, anger, dysfunction, and it is our duty to accept it and go out by the millions to support any and everyone willing to show the world this. Am I saying Black women and HUMANS in general don’t experience these things? Nope! I’m saying Black women’s whole existence is not simply revolved around those things. Believe it or not Black women- Like to laugh, like being in love, like being feminine, like being complex 3 dimensional functional sane human beings with a life! A GOOD LIFE.
Not err Black woman is down in the dumps, grossly overweight, and entangled in some dysfunction or pain.
Like Stockholm Syndrome sufferers, Black women ACCEPT these captive/hostage like perceptions of us and can’t seem to see beyond that. Yes. Black women are held captive and as hostages to those very issues that the world loves to see using. Even if that is not the reality for many Black women, because so many other Black women have become COMFY and SETTLED into these roles and positions in life and in television, film, music, it becomes a way of living and life for so many Black women.
That is why it’s so easy for them to keep supporting movie makers (Black male moviemakers) who ENJOY making trillions of dollars off Black female dysfunction, pain and un-femininity. And they are getting rich from their mental and emotional hostages – BLACK WOMEN!
So Neecy, if all of these things are as clear as day to Black women, why do Black women keep DOING IT?
“Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself.” ~ Wikipedia on Stockholm Syndrome sufferers
WOWWWWWWW! DAYUM. Wikipedia Went.there.
Yeah it makes sense though. I mean it’s much easier to pretend these things are not happening, that you are not constantly being bamboozled, used and abused, when your ego just won’t allow you to accept the hard truth. When your esophagus just won’t open up and let the red little jagged pill down.
Come on. It’s pretty freakin hard to accept some nasty truths. Especially when you have been hoping, praying, giving and sacrificing all in the name of “ONE DAY WE GONE GET OUR DUE FROM EVERYONE WE MAMMIED FOR”, and that day just keeps never happening. I mean how could your ego not take a beating.
But Black women need to stop with the stubbornness and accept the truth. Swallow the red jagged pill and STOP with the nonsense! Pride will kill you – and your images.
THE DAY THAT KEEPS NEVER HAPPENING, WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP NEVER HAPPENING…..
Until Black women recognize, no one is happily going to toss over their privilege to YOU so that you can get ahead on their backs like they have done of you.
That one day that CAN and will happen is when Black women take hold of their future, image and womanhood and stop peddling it to people who are using it as a dirty MOP to swipe over the collective humanity, desirability, femininity and dimensions of Black women.
That day Can and will happen when Black women stop making excuses for their mental captors robbing them blind of their womanhood, prosperous lives and positive images.
That day Can and will happen when Black women LEAVE without guilt (and permission) the places that keep her entraped, entangled in poison, dysfunction, danger, and neglect.
Basically that day will happen when Black women DO FOR THEMSELVES what they have been waiting, hoping, sacrificing, making excuses, for everyone else who has shown they ARE NOT going to do for us.