Why Black women in America cannot “ASSUME THE POSITION” of Non Black women

This post and vid are addressing the case of Renisha McBride and Glenda Moore.

 

 

Renisha McBride was a 19 year old African American young woman looking for help in the middle of the night, after having been in a car accident.

 

Her only real misfortune(s) in this incident was that she was (A) A Black woman (B) A Black woman in need of help (C) Assumed being a woman, that someone would help her.

 

So she went through a Dearborn Michigan neighborhood hoping that a good Samaritan would at least assist her since she had been in an accident, was alone and had no cell phone on her (reports said her cell battery was dead and therefore she could not call for help).

 

Because Renisha did not have long flowing blonde hair, White skin, she was automatically assumed to be a criminal by some lunatic who decided to open his front door and SHOOT HER IN THE FACE !

 

*sarcasm on* because criminals that usually commit grand larceny in people’s homes tend to be young 19 year old Black women who ring your doorbell alone *sarcasm off*

 

Instead of the racist lunatic (1) not answering his door (2) calling the police if he felt he was in danger, he decided to open his door and shoot her in the face and later claim it was an accident.

 

You know that whole “shoot & kill  the Black person first, then ask questions later”

 

You can read more details if you wish on Google.

 

But what  matters & the point  is a 19 year old Black woman in need of help was shot in her face and killed because she was *ASSUMED* to be a criminal.

 

We all know how this would have played out if Renisha appeared on the front porch of ANYONE’S door in America with White skin and blonde hair. She would have been swept up off her precious feet by  said lunatic, offered hot chocolate, a blankie, some cookies and the whole neighborhood would have come running out to her aid. Then the news outlets would have been there harrowing over said lunatic as a HERO for saving a young  “blonde beauty”  in need.

 

If by chance the lunatic shot her in the face (either by accident or on purpose) his ass would be sitting in a jail cell until the facts were sorted out.

 

Renisha’s only real misfortune was not the accident she was in, but the color of her skin.

 

Glenda Moore is another case in which a Black woman in red was shunned away because of a fear she was going to “hurt” the person whose door she knocked on for help when her two baby boys were whisked away in the storm of Hurrican Sandy.

If anyone still has any question in their mind on whether African American women in this country are not seen as HUMANS and WOMEN, just look at stories like this where a young Black woman in distress is assumed to be a criminal who is shot point blank to her face.

 

The good thing is: We do see her family and the Black community *GASP it’s gonna snow here in Los Angeles this week* taking to the streets and protesting answers from the police and prosecutors  in looking into her death. We need to see more of this kind of organizing for our women and girls.

 

The fact is, until a community respects, loves and honors its women AS WOMEN, no other and no other communities will either.

 

Black women cannot afford to assume the position of a White woman in lots of cases here in racist America. That goes for most things. How many times have BW tried to do the things WW have done only to be more harshly punished?

 

Black women have to think and act differently in certain situations as to make sure we protect ourselves from lunatics and Black woman hating idiots. In other situations Black women have to be very pro active about avoiding things that tarnish our reputation. We all know Non Black women can do all kinds of questionable things and come out unscathed by their bad choices. And in many cases will be rewarded for their bad behaviors.  This society does not value Black women  as true women deserving of protection, the benefit of the doubt and a right to LIFE.

 

So in the future I would advise Black women always be sure to have a charged cell phone on them at all times, so that you can call friends, family or public safety (such as police and paramedics) when you find yourself in distress. Do not depend on your fellow American civilians to treat you as a WOMAN  or as a HUMAN BEING as  they would a NON BLACK WOMAN and seek to help you. If they do – GREAT, but do not DEPEND on that.

 

Then people wonder why Black omen walk around hardened, defensive, with an attitude? Everywhere we turn in this damn country, we are faced with the realities of being seen as LESS THAN HUMAN with little to no value for our lives while we watch the world fall over themselves to defend, protect and give the benefit of the doubt to other races of women with Whiter skin.

 

This is just more reason why Black women need to organize and start making noise for our own rights.

 

I must say however, that I am pleased this story is making national news and Black men and women are standing solid in fighting for justice for her.

 

 

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28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. omerta327
    Nov 12, 2013 @ 18:01:51

    Yeah I saw that Renisha McBride story on the news last week.

    Pretty f**ked up – completely senseless. I feel for her friends and family.

    Reply

  2. Khadija Nassif
    Nov 12, 2013 @ 18:05:55

    Excellent commentary, Neecy!

    I apologize in advance for the length of this comment.

    I believe these unnecessary tragedies are also the rotten and bitter fruits of several other factors in addition to the ones that you mentioned (Strong BW Disease and AA women being denigrated and devalued by the AA collective):

    (1) DECADES of African-American (AA) women publicly rallying around (and protesting in support of) BM criminals. People generally feel that birds of a feather flock together. Meaning, that anybody who supports criminals is probably a criminal themselves. Unfortunately, these Sista Soldiers Marching In Support Of BM Criminals have become a large part of AA women’s image in the general public mind.

    (2) DECADES of AAs as a group refusing to address the widespread violence and criminality among the modern-day, mostly fatherless AA “Blackistans.” The mainstream AA collective (from the semi-official talking heads on down to the random AA person off the street) tends to make excuses for Black criminality. Which serves to make us all (including our working and educated class) look like potential criminals. That “birds of a feather” thing again.

    Add this factor together with #1, and I daresay most nonblacks are not going to risk their safety to try to figure out which Potential Stranger Danger AAs are criminals and which ones are safe. Not to in any way justify the WM nuts involved in these cases, but a lot of normal nonblacks are genuinely afraid of Potential Stranger Danger Black folks.

    They have no way of knowing whether or not the BW in distress is the decoy for some BM criminals who are waiting to rush in and do a home invasion if the homeowner opens their door. Over the years, more than a few AA women have set up cab drivers for robberies like that (serving as the decoy potential passenger for BM armed robbers who were waiting in the wings to rob the cab driver who stopped to pick up the BW decoy).

    The bottom line is that those AA women who are alive to read about these tragedies need to get real and position themselves at least one step ahead of the game (as you said). To me, that means to do everything possible to avoid being in that kind of posture. Meaning, stop setting yourself up to have a life & death crisis if the slightest thing goes wrong with your car.

    That might mean to stop doing any unnecessary late night driving by yourself. That could mean keeping your cell phone charged. And perhaps having an extra cell phone on hand. That could mean investing in getting OnStar service.

    I believe it definitely means to refrain from knocking on strangers’ doors at night. If possible, it’d be far better to make your way to a place of late night business (like McDonald’s or Wendy’s or something) in search of help.

    All of this reminds me of something a Latina secretary mentioned to me years ago when tag-team serial rapists were targeting (mostly Black) women waiting at bus stops at night in Chicago: Poor and working class Mexican women who had to work nights took extra safety steps. For example, women in the same general neighborhood (or women who were relatives) would try to get jobs working together as night cleaning ladies, etc.

    So if they had to take the bus at night for a job, there would be at least 5 of them waiting at the bus stop outside the job at the end of the shift. And since they mostly live in the same neighborhood (Pilsen, etc.), they would be riding the same buses going in the same direction. A lot of poor Mexican women “know what time it is” in terms of their personal safety at night. While far too many AA women are playing “brand new” about safety issues.

    By contrast, it seems that most AA women who have to work nights are generally out there driving or waiting on bus/train stops alone. AAs’ general lack of cohesion has a lot of consequences.

    Reply

    • neurochick
      Nov 14, 2013 @ 07:19:46

      Khadija, thank you for saying this. I totally agree with you about this, especially points 1 and 2. A lot of folks don’t want to say it because it’s not “PC.” Well it’s not PC, but it is true.

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Nov 14, 2013 @ 22:22:23

        YEP. There are A LOT of hard truths and jagged pills many BW have to swallow before they really understand how to make things better for themselves. And like you said, this is not PC, but its obviously the truth and will keep affecting AA women until we start doing something about how we are perceived as women who support criminality and such.

        Reply

    • Peanut
      Nov 15, 2013 @ 06:49:09

      at the end of the day, it was a white man who pulled the trigger and killed a black woman, not a black man… I think it is over simplifying to imply that the reason the black woman got shot was because of the “strong BW” syndrome and the Black community. let’s not pretend that white people do not commit crimes, there are white women who are decoys for white men who go in an commit crimes, but if a white woman is in distress she still gets the damsel/white knight treatment, but a black woman does not…both black and white communities commit crimes, so the real issue is institutional racism. Even if Black women stopped supporting the strong black woman ideology in droves, we would still be facing the same issues and I”m not sure why the focus is on the SBW ideology and this line

      “DECADES of AAs as a group refusing to address the widespread violence and criminality among the modern-day, mostly fatherless AA “Blackistans.”

      ….I don’t even know what to say about that. what that even has to do with this i’m not sure, Blackistans were the ones who shot Renisha…

      Reply

      • Peanut
        Nov 15, 2013 @ 06:49:29

        “Blackistans,” were NOT the ones who shot Renisha.

        Reply

        • Khadija Nassif
          Nov 15, 2013 @ 18:34:45

          It looks to me like you’ve conflated several related issues into one issue. Whenever any individual killer kills another human being, there are always the individual specifics and circumstances that particular killing. So yes, this particular WM pulled the trigger and killed this particular BW. The same way one particular Latino male named George Zimmerman (a VERY mestizo-looking Latino male that many AAs insist upon identifying as a “White” man) pulled the trigger and killed one BM.

          There are the case-specific details of individual motivations and choices. And then there’s the overall social, cultural and political atmosphere in which these killings take place. The case-specific details and the overall atmosphere are related but still separate. You can have an overall atmosphere that makes the killing of certain categories of people MORE likely to happen. Or you can have an overall atmosphere that makes the killing of certain categories of people LESS likely to happen.

          Which kind of atmosphere exists for different racial, ethnic, and social categories of people in any given country is based largely on image and perception. Which is why I’m always horrified to hear foolish AAs talking about “the politics of respectability.” People who talk like that (not to you said anything like that) don’t understand how image and perception play a large part in how different categories of people are treated.

          People who talk like that (about “the politics of respectability”) don’t understand the connection between Radio Rwanda and the Rwandan genocide. Or the connection between anti-Jewish Nazi propaganda and the Jewish holocaust. Or the connection between AA-male-created hip-hop/(c)rap and the ever-increasing violence against (and denigration of) BW. Ant-whoever propaganda is most dangerous when some parts of it are true.

          One of the reasons why Jewish people have had the same problems wherever they went in Europe is because some of them WERE financially exploiting the Christian locals. This is what happens to any ethnic/religious group that disproportionately functions as immigrant-origin middle-men business owners among the native people. This is why there’s widespread anti-Chinese sentiment in many Asian countries.

          Part of the anti-AA propaganda—the part about disproportionate rates of violent crime, out-of-wedlock child-rearing, paternal abandonment of children among AAs—are true. That’s a problem. And for anybody to expect nonblacks to pretend that they don’t see this is beyond childish. It’s downright crazy. Other people see all of this, and their reactions to unknown AAs in distress are impacted by these negative factual observations about the AA collective.

          There a connection between the many negative images of AA women that are being put out into the world and the lack of sympathy and lack of overall “white knighting” for AA women. Whether or not the atmosphere of non-stop anti-AA woman images had any direct connection to the killing of Renisha McBride, this overall atmosphere makes the killing of BW in distress MUCH more likely. Anybody who can’t comprehend that just doesn’t get it.

          This one WM’s choice to kill this particular BW is related to, but still separate from, the overall issue you raised of how WW in distress will get the damsel/white knight treatment. But AA women don’t get that same treatment. You said, “let’s not pretend that white people do not commit crimes, there are white women who are decoys for white men who go in an commit crimes, but if a white woman is in distress she still gets the damsel/white knight treatment, but a black woman does not…both black and white communities commit crimes, so the real issue is institutional racism.”

          Ah, the “White people do it too” argument.

          Surely, you know that White people’s context is NOT AAs’ context? When White people do “it” [whatever negativity that “it” might be], the consequences are not the same for them because their context is not the same as AAs’ context. It’s the 21st century, and AAs still haven’t figured this out?

          Because White people have built up a self-sustaining and generally self-policing (in terms of their own interests) infrastructure, White people in the U.S. can better afford to do all sorts of things that bite AAs in the rear end. It’s the 21st century, and AAs still haven’t figured this out?

          Furthermore, White people are not going to stigmatize their OWN “tribe” due to the behaviors of White criminals. But people DO stigmatize and stereotype people outside their tribe due to the behaviors of the criminal element within that other, outsider tribe. It’s the 21st century, and AAs still haven’t figured this out?

          Another thing about this is that disproportionate numbers of AA women and the AA collective do some self-defeating things that nobody else does. (And certainly not in such large numbers or percentages.) African-American women are alone on this planet in being front and center in public with aggressively rallying around criminals and deviants. Criminals and deviants from other ethnic groups have women in their lives.

          The Italian and Russian mafia men have women in their lives. But you don’t see the Italian or Russian women who are hooked up to these criminals on TV or writing articles talking about how So & So The Mob Enforcer was sentenced to “too much” time in prison.

          You don’t see Latino drug lords’ women publicly screaming in support of their vicious, violent crimes. You don’t see the girlfriends and wives of Chinese-American Triad members on TV complaining about law enforcement. You certainly don’t see decent, law-abiding women from these other ethnic groups screaming in support of the vicious, depraved criminals who happen to share their ethnicity.

          Finally, you also don’t see the nonblack women who are hooked up to Black men engaged in that type of Sista Soldiering. Not even on behalf of their own Black baby daddies or husbands.

          But AA women do that widespread Sista Soldiering and Rallying Around Criminals that nobody else does. And then we’re shocked and surprised that other people look at us differently (and different in a bad way). Meanwhile, even the gun molls from other racial and ethnic groups have the common sense to refrain from publicly rallying around criminals.

          Another thing is that you can’t seriously expect men of one “tribe” to respond to unknown-stranger outsider women the exact same way as they respond to women from their own tribe. THAT generally doesn’t happen even in a neutral environment.

          Due to historical factors plus the modern-day denigration of AA women’s image, the U.S. is a not a neutral environment in terms of AA women. Normal males give the best sort of treatment to women from their own “tribe.” So there’s nothing unusual or somehow racist in the typical WM white-knighting for the typical WW in distress. And there’s nothing unusual or somehow racist in the typical nonblack man being less likely to white-knight for BW (or less likely to white-knight for BW to the same extent that they do so for their own women). That’s not institutional racism, that’s just how things operate among healthy groups of people. It’s not anybody else’s fault that things are upside-down and backwards among AAs.

          It’s not anybody else’s fault that AA males have this upside-down and backwards (AA males give preferential treatment to women OUTSIDE their own racial and ethnic group and denigrate their own women). It’s not anybody else’s fault that modern-day AA males generally refuse to white-knight for the women of their own group. It’s not anybody else’s fault that BM white-knight moreso for nonblack women than they do for BW.

          Furthermore, any AA woman who’s looking for WM to white-knight for BW in distress needs to ask themselves: What, if anything, have the masses of mainstream AA women ever done to elicit that kind of positive reaction from the masses of WM strangers? Many (if not most) AA women have and manifest an Oppositional-Defiant attitude toward Whites in general, and WM in particular. AA women make a point of self-segregating away from WM in school and at work.

          Keep in mind that no other type of woman in the U.S. has done that. Asian women certainly haven’t done that. Latino women haven’t done that. Foreign BW from Africa haven’t done that. And Caribbean BW generally haven’t done that in the U.S.

          AA women show an Oppositional-Defiant attitude toward WM in lots of ways. One example is how African-American women are alone on this planet in making loud, public announcements that they would never date or marry outside their race. This is usually said to emphasize the point that they would never date or marry White men. Nobody else is making these sorts of public statements. [Certainly not Black men.]

          Why in the world would AA women expect random WM in general to white-knight for us when many (if not most) of us have made a great public show of being hostile toward WM in general?

          WM don’t respond to AA women in distress the way they do to other women in large part because AA women have been showing hostility to WM that other women don’t show. It’s the 21st century, and AA women still haven’t figured this out?

          Halima did an excellent post a few years back about the bitter fruits of many BW’s hostility toward WM.

          http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2009/07/give-it-up-or-embrace-fruits-thereof.html

          That Hostile Toward Whites Attitude carries some consequences in terms of AA women’s collective image and reputation. All of which impacts how nonblacks perceive and respond to AA women. Meanwhile, other nonblacks in the U.S. who don’t constantly manifest that Hostile Toward Whites Attitude have made great strides. These other nonblacks don’t have the problems that AAs still have. These other nonblacks also don’t have the problems that they used to have a couple of decades ago.

          I think some of the most important questions that modern-day AA women need to ponder are:

          How is it that AAs are still stuck in the weak position of having to do protest marches while other nonwhites in the US are increasingly able to wield White privilege (and not have the kind of problems that AAs have)?

          While AAs have remained frozen in time reenacting Deep South protest marches from almost FIFTY years ago, Asians and Latinos have spent those same fifty years making personal inroads and connections to White America. A large chunk of these inroads were created through the cumulative effect of Latina and Asian women’s marriages to White men. The so-called “White” Mr. Zimmerman (who has been able to wield White privilege despite being VERY mestizo-looking/nonwhite-looking) is the product of a Latina woman’s marriage to a WM.

          How did these people go from being supposedly stuck in oppression alongside us to being positioned over us? How did THAT happen?

          Latinos, Asians and other non-AAs rode the coattails of the AA civil rights movement and AA civil rights martyrs. After AAs knocked down the barriers, these other people rushed into White work and other settings that had previously been closed to many of them.

          But unlike so many AA women, once these other nonwhites got through the door, they took the time to effectively mingle with Whites. That’s a large part of why fifty years later, the AA masses are still on the outside looking in―and having protest marches―while other nonwhites have MOVED ON into enjoying the privileges of the majority-White mainstream.

          Any AA woman who wants to live well will have to make personal inroads and connections to the outer, mainstream, White world. And knock it off with this Hostile Toward Whites Attitude.

          You said, Even if Black women stopped supporting the strong black woman ideology in droves, we would still be facing the same issues and I”m not sure why the focus is on the SBW ideology and this line

          Yes, it’s going to take time for AA women to climb out the 100 miles-deep pit. A pit that many AA males have created and pushed us into with their non-stop public denigration of BW. A pit that we’ve helped dig even deeper with our own self-defeating public behaviors.

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Nov 17, 2013 @ 22:03:56

            Khadija,

            What more is there to say, you really made some very SOUND and REAL points that a lot of BW just aren’t ready to hear or comprehend.

            It is very true now that you bing it up. WM have no real incentive to White knight for BW because BW tend to be very stand-offish with them. This is because BW are so caught up in believing that the WHite man is holding BLACK MEN down, that your average BW sees WM as the enemy.

            So you are correct. Why should WM go out of their way to do anything for BW if they are going to get nothing in return for it?

            Yet they will go to bat for Asian and Latina women because these women tend to be open to them and much nicer and less stand offish. SO there is an incentive for WM to stick up for Asian women especially because they get something in return.

            The same applies to WW and BM. BM benefit from WW because BM are open tot hem and do not act standoffish towards them.

            It seems BW are the only group of women who do not use things to work in our favor.

            Granted there are many WM that it would be difficult for BW to align with because there are still many racist ones, however, there are still plenty of WM who are not racist but typically are aloof towards BW because they feel we hate them anyway so they don’t even bother.

            Additionally, deep down it is WM that BW typically have misdirected anger at because they do for WW what BM don’t do for BW and many BW become resentful of this towards WM and not the actual group they should be resenting – BLACK MALES.

            A lot of BW need to get over the misdirected anger at WM and deal with the group who is dishing it out to BW – BLACK MEN.

            Reply

          • neurochick
            Nov 19, 2013 @ 09:11:26

            Totally correct, Khadija, but….

            “The Italian and Russian mafia men have women in their lives. But you don’t see the Italian or Russian women who are hooked up to these criminals on TV or writing articles talking about how So & So The Mob Enforcer was sentenced to “too much” time in prison.”

            Hah, never watch “Mob Wives” where you see Italian American women doing just that.

            “AA women show an Oppositional-Defiant attitude toward WM in lots of ways. One example is how African-American women are alone on this planet in making loud, public announcements that they would never date or marry outside their race. This is usually said to emphasize the point that they would never date or marry White men. Nobody else is making these sorts of public statements. [Certainly not Black men.]

            Why in the world would AA women expect random WM in general to white-knight for us when many (if not most) of us have made a great public show of being hostile toward WM in general?

            WM don’t respond to AA women in distress the way they do to other women in large part because AA women have been showing hostility to WM that other women don’t show. It’s the 21st century, and AA women still haven’t figured this out?”

            I’m glad to read this. I’ve been believing this for years. If a BW says over and over again that they’d NEVER date outside their race (meaning White men), why would you expect a white man to treat you well? If you say that you think White guys aren’t as good as Black guys, what do you expect? I have read comments from White men who claim that Black women won’t respond to THEIR ads on dating sites, and in fact I personally know a Black woman, a biracial Black woman who did something like this to a White man, completely turned off to him because he was White.

            Reply

            • Khadija Nassif
              Nov 19, 2013 @ 16:09:41

              Neurochick,

              You said, “Hah, never watch “Mob Wives” where you see Italian American women doing just that.”

              Point taken—you’re absolutely correct! {smile} It took the advent of reality TV for these freakish, no-class type of WW to be thrust into (and held in) the mainstream public view.

              I think what I find so disheartening about the widespread Sista Soldiering In Support of BM criminals is that so many educated, middle-class, and even scholarly AA women engage in that behavior. Such as the BW legal scholar who wrote the book “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness.” This is they type of madness this book spews:

              “this book directly challenges the notion that the election of Barack Obama signals a new era of colorblindness. With dazzling candor, legal scholar Michelle Alexander argues that “we have not ended racial caste in America; we have merely redesigned it.” By targeting black men through the War on Drugs and decimating communities of color, the U.S. criminal justice system functions as a contemporary system of racial control—relegating millions to a permanent second-class status—even as it formally adheres to the principle of colorblindness. In the words of Benjamin Todd Jealous, president and CEO of the NAACP, this book is a “call to action.”

              Somehow, this BW legal scholar and other scholarly Sista Soldiers feel that enforcement of narcotics laws = targeting BM. [What???!!!???]

              Instead of acknowledging that what decimated AA communities was mass family disintegration: oow childbearing and the host of negative circumstances that flow from oow—poverty, single-parent child-rearing, fatherlessness—and the increased crime, violence and anarchy that flows from all of this. Oh no—these scholarly BW Sista Soldiers can’t tell the truth about any of that because that would involve criticizing The Precious—the BM golden calf.

              As far as I’m concerned, this author is crazy. But unfortunately, she and other Sista Soldiers are creating a really bad public image for AA women of ALL class and education tiers. I doubt that many people assume the Italian Mob Wives are representative of the masses of Italian-American women, or representative of decent, educated and middle-class Italian-American women. Meanwhile, we have AA women from the middle-class and highly educated tiers making us all look crazy due to their non-stop, indiscriminate, unreciprocated white-knighting for BM.

              Reply

      • Neecy
        Nov 17, 2013 @ 21:56:12

        Why is it that Black women always make huge deals about other races committing murder, harm and racist acts against Black women, but this same vigor is never places on the very group who does it ten times more to us than anyone else – BLACK MALES.

        Its not oversimplifying anything. There is a correlation to how BW are perceived as women (or lack thereof) in this country and how we are treated. PERIOD. It affects us in the dating arena, and in situations where we may be up against other women deemed or perceived more feminine getting the benefit of the doubt, protection and courtesies over us.

        If BW were deemed int he eyes of many as more feminine and worthy of protection, these kinds of things would rarely happen. Does this mean there would be no racism against BW if BW were more perceived as more feminine? NO.

        But there is a correlation to women who are deemed masculine and unworthy of protection and how they are less likely to be protected or given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to treating us like ladies.

        BW need to understand how critically important it is for *US* to work on changing our perceptions because things are going to stay the same or get worse if we don’t.

        BW cannot change racism, but we can change our IMAGES to be more favorable and to our benefit. And its starts with dropping the image that we are women in combat boots all the time looking to fight everyone else’s battles and let the world see us as WOMEN and treat us as such.

        Reply

    • Meena
      Nov 16, 2013 @ 01:14:58

      This is an excellent commentary on Neecy’s equally outstanding post. I learned from observation and experience, that aligning myself with bm in a public way did not do me any favors. Unless the bm in question are quality minded and consistently practice this without an expression of competition with bw or preferential favorable treatment for non-bw (very rare among most groups of men of African descent the world over), he does not bring a lick of value to any bw in terms of how she is perceived in the public sphere. It can be likened to how people treat a bw seen with her non-bm partner vs. a bw seen with her bm partner. I know sometimes people say bm have been running away from bw for years, but I vouch that bw running away from bm would help bw gain major advantages. I make a distinction between bw remaining stagnant while bm run away vs. bw actively displaying they too are running away. Carving out a position that is wholly separate from bm sounds odd, but it can be done. I like to use the example of Kelly Rowland because she unquestionably looks black. If she got a clue that she could completely cut off the bm alignment with her music, she may even be able to make more money than she is now. She is adored by millions worldwide, has a great position on X-Factor, and is viewed as most beautiful in so many circles. However, her career has been lack-luster because of her constant alignment with c(rappers). Sure they may have allowed her to have 1 or 2 hits in the States, but where is she profitting the most now? What happens to the bw actresses that keep doing the all-black films (they turn into has beens) vs. bw actresses that get a clue and align themselves with non-bm actors, directors, producers etc? They get paid. I know I used celebrities, but it can also be applied to any bw in the workplace. Aligning herself with bm usually does nothing to keep her from getting fired, promote her to a better position, allow her to connect with other non black employees, etc. I’ll give an example for young bw as well. In college, if you are seen with only bm, it is a social barrier to interacting with the rest of the student body. Once you are seen with other groups on a consistent basis, your social landscape improves. Yes, there appears to be an automatic willingness for outside groups to want to associate with the stereotypical “cool” black guy that likes c(rap). However, that crowd is usually anti-bw and wouldn’t be worth it anyway.

      Reply

      • BrownSmiles
        Nov 16, 2013 @ 13:45:54

        Seperating our image does not sound odd at all and yes it can be done. Not Your Girl Friday wrote an excellent piece on this very subject. Its called Time to Seperate Our Image From Black Men. Read it if you get the chance!

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Nov 17, 2013 @ 22:15:44

        Great points Meena! Its true. Upwardly mobile BM figured this out decades ago when they decided they wanted to live for self and not be tied down to BW or the BC. They carved out their own identities in mainstream America, started marrying and dating whom they wished and generally felt no need or guilt to do so and certainly felt no obligation to align with BW.

        Its time BW do the same. It would not have to happen in the BC was good to BW. But since the BC does nothing for BW but use us and abuse us, there is no longer a need for BW to feel aligned to it as a source of survival as it once was in the past when Black men were more willing and ready to support and be there for BW. Those days are gone and many BW are still trying to hold onto the past. The hard and sad truth is, the Black community is no longer the safe haven and place for cultural enrichment and progress that it once was.

        When I look at old school hip hop. It was once a great source of Blacks both men and women enjoying themselves and BM supporting all the various beauty of BW. Then BM decided once they had the chance, to go with mainstreams IDEAL and started to bump dark skinned BW who once were the faces of positive and uplifting hip hop to the side for Non Black and bi racial women.

        The point is, BW need to let go of the past and look at what is happening today – the realities and how to use that as a source for survival and thriving and living for herself.

        Reply

  3. Neecy
    Nov 12, 2013 @ 21:42:21

    KHADIJA!!! Thank you for popping in!

    *everyone say hello to khadija one of the women who has encouraged me to blog about BWE thing!!! See her blog Muslim Bushido muslimbushido.blogspot.com & sojournerspassport.com for some very very enlightening topics for Progressive Black women).

    Anyway,

    You said it perfectly and you said what A LOT of people just aren’t willing to say and admit. I don’t even think I had thought about the points you mentioned as potential reasons why people are afraid to help African America women. It really makes sense now when you made points 1 & 2

    the fact is Black women as you said, have long stood by and made noise for protecting Black male criminals and are constantly seen making excuses publicly for the violence and crime in our neighborhoods communities by Black men. Now it looks like the chickens have come to roost FOR BLACK WOMEN because of our constant support we put behind Black crime in our communities.

    So it makes sense what you said that WHite Americans fear maybe *NOT* the Black woman but fears that she may be in cahoots with a Black male criminal. Makes perfect sense. How do they know this Black woman is not being used as a decoy by possible Black male criminals to break in their homes etc.

    This is why Black women will continue to suffer for the reputation and actions of Black males if we keep aligning with the scum of our communities.

    Black people in general make waaay too many excuses for the criminal behavior in our communities just to save face and not have to address our own issues as people. and not only that, look at the way crime, murder etc., is glorified in our popular mainstream music.

    It adds up now. I think more Black women need to be aware of how turning a blind eye, making excuses for the crime in our own neighborhoods follows us as women out into the larger society where people may believe that we are in cahoots with criminals and therefore feel us as a threat to their safety.

    And as you said. Black women need to be much more smarter about traveling alone late at night. I had to stop a lot of my late night driving because of the fear that if something happened someone may see me as a threat or I could be put in a situation like Mitrice Richardson (read her story just yet another example of why Black women need to be conscious about being alone in strange areas and believing that people including law enforcement would look out for her).

    Reply

    • Beauty_in_Grace
      Nov 13, 2013 @ 21:46:08

      You mentioned this but I wanted to piggy back your statement. It always baffles me when blacks as a community never talk about rap music. The glorified violence in it, how wide spread the music is, and how it can, and I believe, has affected the way AA’s are perceived.

      NYGF mentioned this and I strongly believe that we as BW REALLY need to work hard to seperate our image for that of BM. BM complain about being seen as criminals but they don’t police the image of the super thug BM that runs rampant in rap.

      If BW in general want to be seen as feminine WOMEN then we need to police the images of ourselves. Which of course includes NOT supporting media that does not support us.

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Nov 14, 2013 @ 22:20:59

        Completely agree Beauty in Grace.

        Rap music is just one way in which we stand in support of the glorification of violence and crime. Granted all races and genders support and buy rap music, but it doesn’t harm them in the ways it affects BW and black children living in these crime ridden areas and communities. WHites, Asians, Latins who support rap get to go back to their communities and protect themselves and their women and children after turning off a rap song. black women CAN’T if they are living in these places around these kinds of men and women.

        This i s what we as BW have to come to terms with. Right now our images are aligned with all of the not so feminine ideals and its working against us in so many ways.

        And yes we have to be willing as Progressive BW to outwardly speak out against aligning ourselves with Black men, Black women and people who feel we should support Black dysfunction and criminality because once again we see it hurts Black women in many ways.

        And I also have to co-sig that BW have to be willing and more proactive about policing our images. Images int he media create perceptions. i do not care what anyone says or how many ways they claim it doesn’t. IT DOES. And the best way to counteract the Black people who embrace and want to keep these images alive is to say and show that there are still PLENTY of AA women who are not down wight hess images and we will not stand by and blindly support anything that denotes our character as women, as being anything BUT WOMEN.

        Reply

  4. Beauty_in_Grace
    Nov 13, 2013 @ 21:31:26

    “This is just more reason why Black women need to organize and start making noise for our own rights” You are spot on about this. I was thinking about how many of our black organizations are really for the rights of black men, and how BW really need their own “NAACP.”

    BM don’t seemed to be too concerned about the rights of BW, they seem more concerned with adding POC to their agenda, or shall I say WOC, and we all know why. But chasing non-black skirts, has caused them to lose focus and it seems the progress our forefathers made is slipping away.

    Reply

  5. KP
    Nov 14, 2013 @ 08:54:51

    This was so sad what happend to that young girl. I was talking to my mom and I told her I noticed something about these recent cases of Blacks getting killed/turned away knocking on random doors, all of them were 30-ish or younger. I told my mom that any Black person 40+ knew better than to knock on random people’s door in search of help; that is a gauranteed death wish. Black people have never had that courteousy.

    Shoot, a young BW is more vulnerable than any other person if she knocks on random doors in search of help because predators would have take advatage of her unfortunate situation. These older folks are slipping on schooling these youngins.

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Nov 14, 2013 @ 22:25:03

      Yeah this is a sad thing to think about. i think younger BW may be vulnerable when it comes to predators, but both young, middle aged and older BW can also succumb to being turned away for help b/c of the perceptions of Black women and people who are already “on the fence racists” as I call it.

      Reply

  6. Mitzi
    Nov 14, 2013 @ 14:44:18

    This is not a generational thing. Glenda Moore was practically forty when she was turned down in her time of need during Hurricane Sandy. As much as we can vent our rage over the tragedy of Renisha, I think the time for life saving tips as Khadija highlighted should be discussed more, and definitely implemented. The time for actual brainstorming to save our lives is long overdue.

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Nov 14, 2013 @ 22:27:37

      ^^^^THIS @ what Mitzi said!

      I am going to do a post on this because I believe you are right. BW have to be more savvy about our safety and many of the realities facing us out there.

      I think a lot of BW still rely on people looking at us and treating us like they would other women in this country and we can clearly see this is NOT the case in many instances.

      SO unfortunatley, we have to be one step ahead of ourselves when it comes to our safety and being realistic about things when ti comes to preparing and understanding the steps we need to take to minimize these kinds of events and tragedies.

      Reply

  7. Robynne
    Nov 15, 2013 @ 00:15:21

    To add to some of the life-saving tips that Khadijah shared – it is a very good thing to always carry a back-up cell phone battery or two. Most cell batteries have a very limited life span. After a while, they do not remain charged for long periods of time. Amazon sells many generic versions of many cell batteries, sometimes for as low as $10 per battery. Do a search for your brand of cellphone battery, and from there you should see your options. Always keep your replacement batteries charged – they will do you no good dead. My husband got 2 backup batteries for his phone, because the original battery was unreliable. I have already put in my order for back up cell batteries – motivated primarily by this tragedy. Also, always walk with a cell charger, and invest in one for your car as well, if you drive. This can mean the difference between life and death, as BW can’t exactly rely on the goodwill of others for the reasons outlined above.

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Nov 17, 2013 @ 22:17:31

      Great points Robynne. However, I noticed that my iPhone is the first cell phone I have that I cannot take out the battery. WTH?

      Reply

      • Robynne
        Jan 22, 2014 @ 12:46:51

        An external battery charger will solve your issue. Energizer makes a good charger for iphones. Sorry for this ridiculously delayed response, lol.

        Reply

  8. 18andLegal
    Dec 24, 2013 @ 14:41:59

    Great article. We Black women can’t assume the role of non Black women in this society because we don’t have the privileges that they have. They have the privileges of getting away with things that Black women can’t get away with. Non Black women don’t have to deal with the stereotype that they are fat, ugly and undesirable. They don’t have to deal with not being seen as feminine either because non Black women especially White women are seen as beautiful and feminine.

    Black women are marginalized and oppressed every day. We go through racial stereotypes because of the color of our skin and we go through sexism because we are women. Yet we aren’t seen as feminine or womanly because of the stereotypes that we are seen as ugly, masculine, unattractive, the loud and angry Sapphire, oversexualized Jezebel and asexual Mammy. Our race and sex hinders us from ever assuming the position of non Black women.

    Reply

  9. Mikey Tandino
    Jan 22, 2014 @ 05:54:07

    More reasons to support Khadija’s point. Black female knocks on the door bmale thugs roll in after: http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/01/21/police-woman-was-raped-during-brooklyn-tattoo-parlor-robbery/

    Reply

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