Sorry long ranting and somewhat judgmental post here. But its because I care so much about the younger generations of BW avoiding this toxic baby momma mess we keep finding ourselves in as BW.

Images matter! And it seems BW are hell bent on making sure our image is always that of single baby momma who “don’t need no man”.

As I have always  talked about on this blog, I’ve stated that while I am SOOOO for BW expanding and dating out, I’m only for the BW who can do it much better than we have been doing in Black on Black relationships in which we just throw caution to the wind, hope for the best when settle for being baby mommas and nothing more.

As we have and other BW writers have discussed, BW are bringing baby momma baggage to the IR arena, further sending the message and image that it doesn’t take much to secure our vaginas and wombs.

How are we going to sit and complain that BM are half the problem and then bring that same problem into another segment that BM have nothing to do with? Who can we blame then?  Are BW the least married because BM refuse to marry or because we REFUSE to demand more for ourselves with any man?

Its easy to blame BM now, but if we bring this baby momma nonsense into the IR arena, who are we going to blame then? NON BM? NON BM who historically  *will* and do marry the women who demand such and who value themselves enough to not just pop out babies for them just cause she wound up preggers.

I mean eventually it will start to show the ones with problem are the ones who keep making these bad decisions to be baby mommas. Are we going to start calling Non BM of these baby momma situations dead beats as well?

Who do you think the world is going to believe? The woman who keeps making horrible decisions REGARDLESS of the race of man or the men? I can tell you in a patriarchal  society the woman (especially the BLACK WOMAN) will always take the blame. And good luck trying to demolish the images of White and Non Black men baby daddies. You think its hard trying to get sympathy for what BM do to BW, think again if you will get it from larger society by blaming the non BM. All society will  do is label BW who can’t make decent choices in men no matter the race and other communities will warn their sons to avoid BW who will “ruin their lives with a baby”.


Because if I were a mother of a son with potential and I saw a segment of a race of women who indiscriminately had children, I would warn my son to avoid those women as to not be tied down for the rest of his life with a child by a woman he may have just been casually dating or having sex with, but not one he has chosen to spend his life with.

I’m telling y’all what will happen if BW do NOT shape up and start making better choices. The blame will FALL ON YOU. BW will be marked and people (healthy parents) will tell their sons of quality to avoid us like the plague because we just have kids and will ruin his life and future.

Call me judgmental. YEP! Everyone gets judged all day everyday for many different reasons.

I want YOUNG generation of BW to do better for themselves. To have a higher value of themselves as women and their bodies. YEP! And if that means dissecting the current crop of BW making these choices then so be it. You can’t improve upon something without examples of what isn’t working.

Its PAINFUL to watch so many BW with potential to secure high quality relationships, stable family units,  to settle for the same ole same ole.

And here we have a beautiful BW actress (who is 36) Tika Sumpter, who is now preggers with a White co stars baby.

Of course she is not married, and I’m even questioning if there is even any or ever  “relationship” other than casual sex they were having due to possibly working together and having some attraction. I say this because usually when people are dating (in NORMAL DATING RELATIONSHIPS) you will see them together in outings and such showing that they are in a relationship.  I mean some kid of mention from either party.

Tika has been in the spotlight as she has secured some popular films (like Ride along) and in all photos of her she is never seen with this baby daddy although she says they were dating for a year and a half. I doubt it. They were most likely SLEEPING TOGETHER and she ended up pregnant. Because like I said, in normal relationships when two people are dating (yes even celebs) you at SOME POINT see them out together.

Like so many BW, we just throw caution to the wind and allow any just any male to claim our wombs with not much commitment if any.

Its a hard pill to swallow and its even harder to watch so many BW make these horrible decisions that just keep setting themselves back.

Never have I seen her or this guy together at any premiers, never have I seen him holding her or her hand, never have I seen him in ANY relationship pictures with her.

One visit to her Instagram and you see NO, NONE, NADA, ZIP, ZERO pics of them together in any loving type photos let alone ANY photos. There are NO photos of him AT ALL! How is this healthy and normal for a pregnant woman to not have showings of the man that supposedly loves her and is going to be the father of her child?

Do y’all see what i am getting at??

Don’t come at me with this “well they want a private relationship”. Whatever! The fact is there is no relationship no matter how she tries to spin it! You don’t have to have boat loads of pics of you and your hunny but one or two just to show the man who loves you and is going to be the father of your child?

You see why we BW stay othered? Most other races of women RELISH in being loved and adored by their S/O and love showing at least something of significance about their relationship even if its just a loving photo of her and her beau together.

Here Tika is all kinds of preggers taking pregger photos and such BY HERSELF holding her own tummy.

Why do women look at pregnancy as just some thing to do. This is a moment when a woman should have a man holding her, showing affection, showing adoration of the life he helped create. I mean come on sistas!

Yet what you will see is the typical “don’t judge live your life the way you want” feel good talk from her and the  scores of confused and lost BW high giving, praising and telling her what a blessing a baby is and do her.

Yes every woman has a right to “do her” and make whatever choices she wishes for her life.

But what BUGS me, is this idea that this is some shit to be celebrated. Young BW look at this nonsense and believe that just having babies with no ring, no commitment is just a “blessing” and her choice. But do they ultimately see the consequence for mom and more so  for BABY growing up in a single parent home with MAYBE a father who decides to be apart of the babies life?

She claims a marriage doesn’t define her relationship. YADA YADA. Relationship? Is there one? I see no pics of them together. He has made no mention of her or his upcoming “bundle of joy” on his social media accounts. This is just some typical BS and I’m tired of BW settling for this!

This is the typical rubbish that baby mommas spew when they realize their relationship with the father is just a casual dating or casual sexual relationship that will not go any further.

When this guys career takes off is he going to marry her? Or will he do like most men do, when they get some coins and success, and run off and marry the woman the world cherishes or the woman who cherishes herself enough to know her worth and make him PROVE he is worthy of her love, respect and LIFE and future child? The latter you better believe it!

Do BW not look at their own communities and see what single parenthood has cultivated in our culture?

its like we just don’t care to make any kind of changes for the better.

Do they not see how these IMAGES MATTER.

But here is the painful and really hard part that so many BW like her face.

She is trying to save face in interviews by saying she wanted to keep him the baby daddy “underwraps” and a secret to avoid judgements etc. yada yada.

WHAT healthy woman in her right mind would not want to be in the presence of the man of her future child? What healthy woman would not want to be shown being loved and adored by the man she is having a child for? What healthy woman would not want the world to see the man who is committed to her and who will be helping her to raise their child?

And this mofo is GOOD LOOKING AT THAT! You better belie if the relationship were on the up and up she’d have shown him off to the world. Nothing wrong with that.

SERIOUSLY! This is the nonsense that BW keep falling for and promoting and praising. And it sends a huge message to the masses that we are unlovable and ok with that. That we don’t care about partnerships, solid relationships and love. That we just settle for having kids and hope and pray for the best with the father.  And another message we are sending is to quality men of the wold who come from families that believe in marriage and commitment is that we are just SIDE CHICKS to be had until he finds a woman “more worthy” to marry and build a family with.

Is this what BW want to be seen as? We are working really hard to ensure this based on our actions and unwillingness to HONESTLY address this issue of baby mommism and how it is NOT A GOOD LOOK or good choice for women who are already struggling with images about their womanhood and worth.

That same ole strong BW “I don’t need no man” tripe that we have been plagued with from the beginning of time!

THIS is painful to watch as a BW. I get it. Many BW who are past prime and who want kids and may not have found husbands or husband like material struggle with wanting biological kids and such. I was one such woman for a minute. But I always stuck to my guns that if I did not find a quality compatible mate to marry me, I’m just going to have to suck it up and say it wasn’t meant for me to have children and life goes on.

Too many BW think selfishly. That because *SHE* wants a baby, then that is all that matters and she will find a man who will give her one by any means necessary whether or not the relationship is even stable or even if the relationship has a solid future to stand on for the child.

This is a LIFE you are bringing into this world! A life you will have to raise mentally and emotionally. It is *NOT* easy for any one to raise a child alone whether you have money and resources or NOT. because raising a child is not simply about money and resources but providing the best emotional and mental stability so they can grow into healthy adults who make the best decisions for their life.

The truth is the reason she kept quiet about it is MOST LIEKLY because they are not together, he has no intentions on marrying her, or he is not all that excited. Of course these are just assumptions on my part. But let’s look at the real tale tale of this.

Most women are all too excited to be seen with and announcing their future child with hubby or baby daddy. No woman wants to *HIDE* who the father of her child is unless there is something not so right in the relationship.

Sometimes I look at sisters and sometimes its like watching a train wreck. What real positive role models do YOUNG up and coming BW have to make the best choices for themselves?

What and who is giving young BW the message that WE ARE VALUABLE and we are more than our vaginas an wombs? And that any man that wants US or a piece of us let a lone a DAMN CHILD from us, will have to prove his worth, his LOVE and adoration for us as a woman before he gets any of this?

Who is telling BW this!?

THIS is what smart savvy women do. They understand their worth and power as women and understand that pro creation is not simply just to be done JUST because.  It should mean we take serious consideration for the child’s well being, future, OUR well being and future.

PICK up a fin RULES BOOK for crying out loud sistas!

I’m just done….




So in light of the recent scandal behind Wells Fargo and how its employees were able to go into customers accounts and move money around to new accounts, to maintain and upkeep high pressured sales goals, I started thinking how easy it is for banks to fraudulently do things with your account and money without you ever knowing.


My question is, what are the other options besides traditional banks.


Does anyone still believe in stashing away cash or is that too risky for a number of reasons?


Remember what happened last year ? or a couple years ago with Greece when they were going through their financial crisis and people were unable to access their money from banks or ATMS. Eventually they were only allowed to take little by little. That is scary that in a time of crisis the money you have in the bank can be unavailable to you.


I am starting to think about holding a certain amount in cash vs putting all my funds in the bank because in an emergency (national one) banks can shut you off from your funds.


I dunno it is just so sad to see the times we are in as a Nation.


We are being KILLED at such high rates its starting to make me think its an epidemic.

I cannot understand why this has not been considered a damn epidemic. Wait who am I fooling, I understand why this is not recognized as a national epidemic that needs to be addressed. The most un-protected group are the victims – that is why. But whose fault is that? Is it because BW seem to only GAF about the Black people with penises the same Black people who are taking them out in great numbers daily?
When you are the most un-protected group and you decide to be the protector of everyone else? What happens? Well the chickens are coming to roost or should I say SLAUGHTER.


Ok so I have been exploring Facebook the last couple of months. I have never been a big Facebook lover. But I decided I would try it out and see what is out there and just to change things up a bit. Normally my social media obsession of choice is Instagram. I like it because I can follow people and things based on my interest and therefore because my interest is beauty and make-up I tend to be very happy when I’m on Instagram.

But the good thing with Facebook is you get to see the social landscape of what and who is occupying the world and our country. you can build friends based on shared interests etc.

But one thing I have really LEARNED (though I knew this but not on the level I do now) is how many young BW are dying EVERYDAY. Literally being MURDERED and KILLED or BEATEN.

Whether its the NUMEROUS stories of young Black girl children being beaten to death and killed by their mother’s boyfriend’s (not the baby’s father but boyfriends) to BW being killed for rejecting the advances of toxic Black males to BW being killed by “association” with low life Bm in their lives to BW just generally being killed by “others” for a number of reasons.

I do not think BW really understand the level of how much this (murder and death by murder) is happening to such a small minority of women in this country.

That leads me to my point – clearly BW can’t see this because we are so busy PROTECTING others who are already protected.

The Univerese gives ample warning by showing, not just telling you what is going on. If you don’t take heed eventually you will reap what you’ve seen.

I’m gonna say this because this is too too scary and happening too too often. The Universe has been trying to tell BW to do some changing by showing us how un-protected and un-loved we are in our own communities and how that seeps into greater society and why we need to stop the caping for the very people hurting us physically, mentally and emotionally. And we do not listen! We continue to fight and sacrifice and act fools for men and a community that has deemed our lives so INVALUABLE that its not even a blip on the radar at the rates in which our young women are being KILLED.

Normal functioning AND PROSPEROUS socities would ring the alarm if there were high numbers of their young women being killed by the men. It would be seen as a national crisis and things would be put in place to STOP and address it!

Not Black folks! We are so busy with our heads so far up the useless Black man’s ass that we can’t even see that this very Black man is taking out young BW at such high rates daily that it should be a national crisis! And Black folks, MAMMIFIED BW and BM are going to pay DEARLY for ignoring this and not doing anything about it.

Between the numbers of BW with half their brain cells FLEEING any and all things Black, black communities and staying away from predatory Black men and the numbers of BW being killed daily by Black men, there will eventually be no more MULES to keep their tired asses afloat.

The Black community IS DONE!

When the women are dying in great numbers at the hands of careless low life men and the community ignores it, you BEST believe their will be a day of reckoning!

Men DO NOT NEED women to fight their battles or protect them from “other men” in a patriarchal society! 

WTF can’t dumb ass BW get this through their thick ass heads! MEN do not need women to fight and protect them. In fact, its those very men who WE need to be protecting ourselves from. MEN are predatory and destructive by NATURE. They kill and destroy and they are the stronger sex physically. Yet you have dumb ass BW out here fighting for DEY SONS and HUSBANDS and BM in general but can’t seem to protect themselves from these very men who are raping, maiming, murdering and beating THE the living hell out of our daughters on the hour.

Once again MEN DO NOT need protecting from women in a patriarchal society!. And BW continue to ignore its (the Universe and Natures) warnings. And now BW are paying a hefty price.

We are paying a hefty price for taking on the roles that BM should have been taking on.

We are paying a price for the 70% OOW irresponsible breeding that we do. YES i said “BREEDING” because that is exactly what BW are doing.

We are paying a price for being the face of a movement that only *REALLY* cares about its male members.

We are paying a price for putting our SERIOUS issues aside or ignoring them to fight the battles of those who are literally killing and destroying us every hour on the hour.

We are paying the price for failing this generation of girls by pandering to the males in the community who are destroying us.

We are paying the price for TURNING the other cheek to hyper masculinity in BM that is now literally killing us, raping us, beating us and wearing and tearing us down mentally and emotionally and physically.

WE ARE PAYING A PRICE! And that price right now is DEATH. And for this young generation of BW and girls who we have FAILED as a collective, they are paying a hefty price.

At the rate in which BW are being killed and murdered daily, I am curious to see where our numbers will be in the next decade is some damn changes are not implemented in the average BW’s lives.

EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I have to read article after article (sometimes multiples in a day) being shared on Facebook of YOUNG Black women being killed and murdered at the hands of Black men. Be them loved ones or strangers. Also, many young BW are being killed simply by association with trifling BM who are on another low life BM’s hit list. These young girls simply by association are being killed.

Just in the last two days I have read articles in which TWO 16 year old Black girls living in different states were killed by drive by’s intended for their boyfriends. Another one was a 9 year old Black girl killed by a drive by that was meant for her father.

The latest?

You’ve heard the recent tragic event of 22 year old graduate student with a lot of potential and bright future ahead of her, Tiarah Payouh who was attending some Caribbean festival in NYC who was shot point blank range in her face for simply telling some disgusting low class BM to “get off and stop grinding on her”. I just read a story today where a 16 year old Black girl had her jaw BROKEN by a BM who she pushed away from trying to kiss her.

Y’all these stories are posted DAILY all throughout the day on Facebook.

And what this tells me is now the Black woman is paying the piper for YEARS and DECADES of ignoring so many problems with BM and the Black community and continuing to FGHT and PROTECT the very MEN who are literally killing and taking us out by the hour.

I can’t even post all the stories because they are just that much. But please believe me when I tell you, BLACK WOMEN ARE BEING KILLED In great numbers daily by Black men.

And we won’t even count the incidents that BW face outside Black communities at the hands of other men (sociopaths who know BW are not protected).

Its very sad and disheartening to read. But you know what. I understand the law of consequences. And as much as I hate to say it, BW are paying the ULTIMATE consequence for refusing to STOP doing the things that are putting us in a line of fire.

I’ve read posts by numerous BW complaining about BWE writers and those like myself who have INSISTED that we embrace and turn on our femininity because of its true power. These stupid mammies continue to twist our words and claim that, that won’t change anything. OH YEAH?

How many Asian women are killed or are victims of crimes of passions or are victims of gender sexual assaults? HOW MANY? I rarely if ever see Asian women as victims of murder etc.

In a patriarchal society the feminine woman is PROTECTED. She will be the least hurt in any situation. And the perceptions of Asian female femininity keeps them from being killed, maimed and such compared to other groups of women. The least perceived feminine women – BLACK WOMEN? We have the highest rats of murder, rape, domestic violence and then look how we are treated in society by everyone including other men who do not see our womanhood and do not extend the courtesy of protection but rather seek to inflict physical and verbal pain upon is.

DO NOT TELL ME that women who embrace and use the power of femininity in a patriarchal society cannot escape the things BW face on the daily from every one.

And if you don’t buy it then WTF have BW got to loose by trying something different by embracing feminine nature!? We already are experiencing the worse any group of women can experience and this is in a WESTERN SOCIETY where women are much more free than other societies.

BW better wake the hell up.




8-Year-Old Dies After Being Shot in Drive-By Shoot…


‘I Lost Count’: Father’s Chilling Confession On Killing 4YR Old Daughter

Man breaks girl’s jaw after she refuses to kiss him #MasculinitySoFragile





Dying teen lay with crossed fingers hoping to survive after she was shot during drive-by











Going to Toronto CANADA in August!!!🙅🏽😝😝😝

Ok my Canadian readers. Spill the beans on things I can do in 3 days!


ill be there first week in August for a work meeting the first two days and I’m staying an extra three over the weekend to just see and do things around Canada.

I’d definitely like any suggestions you may have in terms of what to see and do while I’m there!


also if anyone wants to meet up while I’m there I’d be happy to do that too!




By now you have all seen or heard about Jesse Williams powerful speech on the BET awards last evening.

Let me first start off by saying – Jesse Williams is BAE and I have to give hum MUCH KUDOS for the shout out to Black womanhood that he gave. Black women needed that and I love him for that. And I am sending prayers, love and good universe vibes out to him because he is gonna need it after this.


BUTTER-AMA-RUH, the rest of the speech I am NOT here for what he did. And it’s because I like him very much. Why should he as a bi racial man who has been underrepresented and not appreciated in the black community fight for blacks and risk his livelihood!? What have blacks done to light and bi racial men like Jesse but erase them and effeminate them and deem them not manly enough as dark skinned BM?


I am probably the only living and breathing person of Black descent that wishes Jesse would not have given this speech. In fact I wish it was one of those coon tired asses Black men giving this speech because at least when the take down happens I wouldn’t feel a least bit of sadness or hurt for him.


BUT NOT JESSE! It’s NOT because I think the speech was not indeed needed, extremely powerful nor warranted or untrue, but because I actually LIKE JESSE WILLIAMS…no I LOVE JESSE WILLIAMS and I do not want to see him taken down as a result for speaking out or for Black people who just do not GET IT and who WILL NOT and CAN NOT do much to support him if and when the backlist meets him.

Another reason why I’m not happy it was Jesse. Black community has pushed aside and cast the ligh bi racial man as effeminate and simeone that BW should avoid and feel ashamed about in terms of relationships.

Just like the image of dark skinned black women have been erased so has the bi racial light skinned BM.

Why should a bi racial man with his PRIVLEDGE risk his livelihood for a group of people that gave ultimately ERASED HIM and seemed him invaluable as a MAN.

Let dark skinned “Chocojate bruddahs” that black peoples and black men worship and live so much take the fkn fall!!!

In some ways yes I am saying Jesse is caping and “mammying” for a group of people that has never loved or respected “his Type”.

And yes that includes BLACK WOMEN.

Black women manmies (the majority in the black community) have basically told the likes of Jesse Williams and his ilk that they are not good enough as men and gave ignored them and treated them with disdain and ALLOWED color struck BLACK MEN who worship light and bi racial women to make them feel terrible for doing the same.

No Jesse should have let the men who resemble the ones that black people and women ADORE do that and put their damn livelihood on the line.

I think of Jesse Williams as I think of Progressive BW LIKE US and who I would tell to stop fighting for Black causes and issues and things in which we will not receive any real comeuppance for and that are mainly FUTILE when a lot of the issues affecting Black people are mired in our own actions, choices and dysfunctions.


How long do Black people think we can keep pulling the wool over White people’s eyes and guilting them when our backyards look, sound, feel and are like war torn SYRIA???


They see it yall! They may not say it but the minute we start talking about police brutality and the murdering done by White cops, racism, they are looking right back at us with the side eye because they see the same things we accuse them of being perpetuated BY US towards ourselves MORE OFTEN than not.


Yes they even see the RACISM we perpetuate towards the women in the Black race that favors anything closest to the “OPPRESSER”. How the fuck can they take a group of people seriously that do not even like their birth mothers to resemble the authentic picture of the race but rather worship women who look like “their old mean racist asses”? They see we do not even like our Black assed selves!


They see we kill each other at very high numbers compared to other races who kill each other or Black people. They see Black women being slaughtered on public trains by Black men, being beaten like wild animals in the street by Black men, being killed and murdered by Black men fighting turf and ego battles, they see young Black men slaughtering each other over DUMB SHIT ever hour on the hour.


They see we do not take pride in our communities or keeping our communities clean safe havens for our children to thrive amongst each other and be able to build stronger, prouder and more accomplished Black youth and adults. They see our communities are like war zones. They see we murder the women of our race and culture at higher rates than anyone else. They see that the men don’t marry and raise their kids and leave the bill at the foot of Black women who CANNOT raise sane healthy men and children alone.


THEY SEE IT ALL! Everyone sees it no matter how much we keep trying to pointing the finger at them. And as long as they see we are FULL OF SHIT (basically) they will never CHANGE. They will never RESPECT us, our lives, our humanity. WHY? BECAUSE WE DON’T!


And as long as we don’t know OTHERS WON’T.


Why is this such a hard concept for Black people to get?


I am not speaking about Jesse. Jesse’s heart is definitely in the right place, but he has to understand IT AINT WORTH IT! Because Black people are all talk and no damn action. Black people have not figured out the way to win in this world against oppression and such is to MOBILIZE, HAVE STRONG FAMILY FOUNDATIONS, STRONG COMMUNITIES for our children to thrive in. Instead we keep thinking speeches and pointing the finger is going to get us out of the hole we are in or rather make White people change and love us and respect us?




The number one killer of Black men is NOT the PO PO. It is other Black men living within his vicinity. The number one killer of Black women is not Bubba, the KKK, The po po, or red neck Billy bob! IT IS BLACK MEN. I read somewhere that almost every 21 hours a Black woman is murdered with a gun. WTF do you think is killing us!? BLACK MEN in the BLACK COMMUNITY.


I am not saying there aint no real effin issues with racism in this country. There is and frankly it’s getting worse. But what I am saying is, I hate to see people like Jesse Williams take the load and FALL for ungrateful Negroes (many of which who are already denouncing his “Blackness” because they are jealous BW are drooling over his beautiful conscious ass).



This man will not deserve the backlash and take down that will be his inevitable. Does this mean I do not think that Black people should not speak out against atrocities committed by White establishment? NO. But I still have yet to see where speeches and speaking out has really REALLY gotten Black people anywhere.


We have to stop with the speeches! Black people like hearing heartfelt emotional speeches like this, but how many Black people actually do what it takes to turn things around other than give hive fives and words of encouragement to the speaker?


How many Black people are in a position to uphold and continue this man’s career if and or when the take down comes?


THAT is the real problem. That we do not have enough POWER STRUCTURES within our own community to support and uphold the careers and livelihoods of people like Jesse Williams who are brave enough to speak out.




In another time and space his speech would mean something. But I am sorry. In a time where most atrocities committed against Black people are at the hands of OTHER BLACK PEOPLE I am having a HARD time standing behind anyone who continues to point the finger at the White establishment for their atrocities.


You see there are TWO atrocities happening against Blacks. ONE yes can and is some aspects of the White establishment but the other MOST IMPORTANT one is BLACK ON BLACK ATROCITIES.


As long as we continue to IGNORE this, things will get worse and we will be falling down the rabbit hole further and eventually all anyone will hear is the echoes as we are completely diminished because we refused to address the real cause of strive and pain – other Black people.


Another thing.

Black American people are some of the most BLESSED Black people walking earth. Because we live in a country that *AT LEAST* still gives us autonomy to chart our own success and lives IF WE SO CHOOSE. If anyone disagrees than point out to me any other place where Blacks have the same amount or higher of rich wealthy Blacks living amongst them. Point out to me a place where even the most GHETTO THUGS of Black people can still become millionaires and successful. Point out to me any other place where Blacks can have the same rags to riches stories that we do in this country??


Yall better recognize we don’t miss the water till the well runs dry. If Black people keep up this one sided fighting and victim playing eventually, they aint going to want to share even a CRUMB of pie with us. Yes I am saying we should be grateful and SMARTER. Instead of always running our mouths, we should have been building, uplifting, growing, and mobilizing economically to be a force to reckon with for the White establishment. Instead of using the system that we bitch about to our advantage while we have had that advantage, we keep telling the world that no matter what we get we are always going to be “VICTIMS”.


I really hope I am wrong about Jesse and that I pray instead of him taking a backlash and fall that his career and life will further enhance. But if I know the history, that most likely will not happen as most Black H-Wood actors and actresses who are brave enough to speak out against stuff like this usually get blacklisted/blackballed.


If am going to put my neck on the line for anyone, it will be for people who I already KNOW are on the same page and who GET IT. NOT for victims and people who cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. Black people CAN address White racism and such and still also address the need to clean up our own backyards. But it seems we can’t do that.


As a Progressive BW, I see that we can talk about racism and atrocities against us, but WE still also can look at others like us and point out the flaws that are holding us back *cough* MAMMIES *cough* SISTER SOLDIERS *cough*.


Anyway, I know my opinion will not be received well because Jesse’s speech was powerful indeed. But I gotta say WRONG TIMING BABE!


What say you Nesters. Come on Lemme have it! LOL

Travel Frustrations – to travel solo or not is the question….

So I have been dealing with an issue that has finally come to a head.


I am single, childless, attractive and I love to travel. Except one thing – I DO NOT TRAVEL LIKE I SHOULD.


I have no kids, make decent money to travel where I want, YET I do not do it.




I have continued to wait on my friends who either can’t travel when I can, don’t have the money or can’t get the time off and because I have had a fear of travelling alone and trying to wait on them, I feel I am missing out on the world.


I mean I can’t lie, I am scared to travel alone. What if something happens to me!!! Is this logical?


But at the same time, I am missing out because I keep waiting on others who cannot travel like I want to and I’m just tired of waiting.


So. Is there anyone here that has done a significant amount of travelling ALONE to various places outside the USA?


I love tropical islands, want to visit all of Europe, but this fear of something happening while I am away (like getting ill or falling sick and not being able to have someone with me to make sure I’m ok)



Its just frustrating because I feel each year that goes by is wasted by me not traveling to all the destinations I want to see.


So if anyone reading has done some traveling solo and could re-assure me either for or against it, I would really appreciate it!

Remember to support Black women you must support trash like this!



According to to some mentally challenged BLACK WOMEN who want sympathy for every damn thing a Bkack woman does.


We as BW need to love and support BW trash like AZALIA BANKS who lightens and bleaches their skin. Calls other young dark skinned Black girls “TAR BABY” and other anti dark skinned names. Who basically uses social media to fulfill every negative stereotype of BW. Who is so rude, nasty, crass, that she got her account suspended from Twitter.


BUT YET we are supposed to stand behind and LOVE owwa sista although she’s a bully who makes disgusting racist comments to your dark skinned black girls on social media because “shes dark skinned and had a horrible childhood.”

I have much more to add. But I gotta go. I’ll be back later with additional commentary. But read what this TRASH said to another young black girl trying to embrace herself and beauty.

YET you have IDIOTIC black women so fucking desperate to defend any kind of DBR behavior that if you do not support this trash then you “HATE DARK SKINNED WOMEN”.

This is why so many BW stay losing and will continue to do so.

SMART PROGRESSIVE BW will never stand behind trash! They will never stand behind BULLIES! They will never be bullied into accepting this behavior as nothing more than DBR behavior that needs no SUPPORTING OR UNDERSTANDING! They recognize that aligning yourself with trash like this takes your stock down TEN FOLD!

PROGRESSIVE BLACK WOMEN do not support DBR behavior from ANYONE – even other BW.


SO UHM – Canada, Netherlands, New Zealand???

Yall with all the crap happening in this country I’m thinking where or what other Western countries could/SHOULD BW be considering?


Its clear to me this country has hit rock bottom. The fact that AR 15 rifle gun sales spring through the roof after this recent Orlando tragedy, the fact the government refuses to do anything about gun control in face of the overwhelming gun violence by unhinged entitled men in this country, says things are going to get worse before they get better.


not to mention our choices for President are HILLARY CLINTON and DONALD TRUMP! (Could we be anymore FK’D?)

In addition to the overall general bullshit that black women and girls deal with in this place – CANADA is looking real good to me right now!

The fact that Australia, U.K. have successfully banned arms after mass shootings and have far and few issues with gun violence; that Sweden (or one of those Norfic countries) has the highest rate of gun ownership YET lowest rate of gun violence says the people in this country are off their rocker for the most part.

BLACK WOMEN more than any other race of women are the most affected women in USA in regards to gun violent deaths!


Many black women and YOUNG BLACK GIRLS are being killed in record numbers these days by gun violence at the hands of Black men.


So it would make sense to me that Progressive BW would look at this as a true warning that it’s time to move to more developed Western socities. Everyday I am met with the reality that America is moving backwards into a deep abyss and of course as this happens the most un protected, vulnerable group will catch it the worse BLACK WOMEN AND GIRLS.


this idea of mass exodus of groups to “greener pastures” isn’t new. It’s the foundation of American immigration.

I believe if the more able bodied of black women really decided as a collective to “BOUNCE” up outta here yo more developed SAFER western countries and socities that we could.


So what places should serious BW consider in terms of re-settling as they try to escape the inevitable that’s going to happen in America?


I say Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Netherlands.

I used to say Sweden, but it looks like they have a serious issue with rapes by Muslind who have migrated and are unwilling to uphold its Western values as they try to appease aggressive Muslims.

This country and gun violence is only going to get worse. And you better believe the one group of women must affected by it – BLACK WOMEN – will continue to be victims of it.


Not to mention all the other crap BW face in America.


What say you? Should we stay or go?

Black Women winning in spite of!!






during the 2016 Miss USA pageant at T-Mobile Arena on June 5, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada.



Why Conformity will and can save some of us!


Hi Everyone!


I am finally out of writers block mode. LOL I would rather take a break than try to force out something for the sake of making a blog post.


But this has been weighing heavily on me and I want to write about it. It’s a true testament of my ability to see the gray area, silver linings that most would not see and generally how I continue to evolve when it comes to thinking about BW and our “plight” and how we can keep trying to WIN in spite of.


I’m constantly always looking and comparing to how other races of women are faring compared to Black women and why they fare much better and where BW can do the same even though our walks in life may be different.


Part of the winning strategy that I feel progressive BW need to have is an ability to not look at things for face value but to read between the lines, look at the gray area and understand for better or for worse why it is and how to navigate within that realm.


Because the reality is, a winning BW in today’s world cannot just live off the surface and face value. She has to have a canny ability to see the underneath and shades in between and use that to win.


Sometimes that gray area is a hard pill to swallow at first. That’s because things at face value are not always REAL or rather not always what is working for or against you. It’s often time the stuff we don’t often hear or see that will keep us afloat (or kill us) in its ugly truth and all.




Is it *really* blasphemous?


One thing I have been truly coming to grips with is – the reality is I believe there is both a blessing and curse to White women being pedestalized by White men (who in most part run Western societies).


While it sucks to be on the opposite end of the “pedestal” spectrum, I’ve started to think about how in actuality White woman worship works for Black women to a great degree even though we may not see it at face value.


Face value says if you do not fit the profile of the worshipped – you are shit out of luck. Maybe to a degree.


But when you look at it from the gray area you can see a perspective of where BW come from, our communities, countries and such where Black men are the rulers (or somewhat the rulers) and compare that to western societies where White men are the rulers and who pedestalize the women of tier tribe we can see we actually fare better as WOMEN (maybe not *BLACK* women) but as *WOMEN* in a society where the majority in rule (Whites) uplift and prize their women.


In a patriarchal society this is MONUMENTAL. Especially if those who rule the roost are doing it. Because any and all laws, social norms and other things that are there for the benefit of the “prized” will eventually trickle down to the “un prized” to some degree even though we may not get the entire benefits of such. But we get the benefits if you really look at it.


How is that?




Well let’s just compare western societies and European culture to all other cultures and societies. Can we NOT agree that for the most part women fare better in the former than the latter? I think the proof is in the pudding. In western societies women are given rights and concessions and courtesies that are generally not afforded to many other women from other races and cultures.


The fact that Black American women are the most educated women in the US is a prime example of how when the prized woman of the powerful is given concessions as women, it trickles down to the un prized. Black women can take advantage of education as women because at some point those men in power decided they would give those concessions to their women _although they may not have always been the case. But at some juncture White men have and still do concede to give White women autonomy and the ability to assert her independence. And we as Black women make out like bandits because of it.


While there is still a great deal of sexism and misogyny in Western culture, there are equally still enough MEN in power who still police other men when it comes to the safety of women and girls and who are still making and upholding laws that seek to punish those who harm women and children. Is it perfect? Once again NO. But it’s THERE and it’s there for women to utilize if they need to.


That is why pedophiles wealthy or not do not come to “America” or western countries to openly prey on children without worry of being caught. There is a reason why Asian countries are a stomping ground for pedos and male predators and the like. That is because in those cultures young children and girls are not seen as prized entities to protect from adult predators.



Money means more to those countries than the healthy flourishment of their children. In essence they are not as protected as they are in western societies where someone in power understands the need for creating strict laws and things to protect children from child predators. Does it stop them from being predators in Western societies? NO. But they have to do a whole lot of underground sneaking around to avoid the law. And when they are caught – it’s a done deal. The fact that there are all kinds of predatory laws in place and being utilized by police and “child law task forces” says that in this country and society we *AIM* to protect our children.


Just recently a former GLEE star was arrested and indicted for holding onto child pornography. He was no A lister, but we all know in general Black population any Black male entertainer arrested and such for child porn would be given all kinds of passes by BW and men alike. *Hello R. KELLY* and the many other Black male child predators getting away with it.


In Africa you still have a culture that treats women and children (especially young girls) as second class trash. Their lives, quality of life and such is hardly taken into consideration when it comes to what the men do and want. This is why removing the woman and girls clitoris is still being widely practiced, why young girls who are barely out of elementary are sent off to be child brides to grown ass men, why thousands of young school girls can be kidnapped by BOKO HARAM and no one give a fock or do much to curb it, why terrorists run amuck. And generally why no one cares about Black women or girls – BECAUSE OUR MEN, CULTURE AND COMMUNITIES DON’T!


All these things happen because on some level the MALES in that culture and race still haven’t come to the decision that they love and cherish the women enough to offer up many forms of protections to allow them to flourish as children and adults without it benefiting the males in that group.



The reason why WW are prized by all men is because THEIR MEN AND CULTURE DEEMS THEM VALUABLE. And instead of other races of men taking on the same role to make their women just as valuable, they’d rather save and go after the White man’s prize. The prize he put work in to make it such.



Look at middle eastern & Indian societies and religions and how the women fare. Not much rights or room to grow as an independent woman in those societies which are very strict patriarchal places that see women as second class trash.


And even though there are *laws* a lot of those laws are not upheld because they have the same predatory men in power determining the fate of the predators against women.




The fact that acid throwing on women is a growing and serious trend in a lot of non-western countries is another example of women not being able to safely exert their independent and choices without fear of harm or death. I wondered why there were so little cases of acid throwing in the US and Western countries. Well that is because it turns out that the acid that is commonly used in other places has been banned in the US and is extremely hard to get ahold of.


Which in turn means at some level THOSE IN POWER IN THE USA realized the harm that this kid of acid can cause and has banned it.  Whereas in India and South America and some Asian countries that acid that is commonly used to destroy women’s faces (by men with fragile egos)  is easily accessible and cheap to buy and get by anyone.


So in a country that cherishes the safety AND BEAUTY of its women and girls, they would take measures to curb this act by banning and making it very difficult for men to access acid. But they haven’t. WHY? Cause they don’t give a rat’s ass about the women and girls or their BEAUTY in their countries!


While White men kill and rape and do harm to their women and girls (as all men can and do), can you imagine them throwing acid on the faces of their “PRIZED” women? NO! That is why it’s hardly an issue in Western societies where women are more able to tell a guy to “fuck off” and he better do so unless he wants to face the law and not have to worry about acid being thrown on their faces. This once again proves why it’s good they cherish the beauty of their women (even at the expense of non-White women) because they would not on a collective scale allow anything to tarnish it without making it very difficult to do so. And this is why acid throwing on the faces of women and girls barely exists in European culture and societies. They prize the beauty and womanhood of their women.




Yall know I have been on some of the PUA sites for years. One thing I still can say, that as much as some of those men bitch, whine and complain about White women and not getting the White women they feel they deserve, they still will DEFEND them at all costs!


I mean in one breathe they complain about WW, the next breathe they are blaming any and everyone else for why White women do the shit they do. So even in these spaces where White men hate women, they are still for the most part not fully willing to give up on their women, not fully willing to blame their women for the choices they make. They will blame, Black men, JEWS, snakes, and everyone else *BUT* WHITE WOMEN for their behaviors. LOL!




White women are not able to generally flourish as women on their own. If White men truly wanted to rule with an iron fist and strip women of all their rights they could. And especially in the past when feminism starting coming about it only was successful because at some point powerful WHITES and WHITE MEN gave in. Women’s suffrage was only as successful as those men in power allowed it to be. On some level White men decided that White women’s general happiness means something and they were willing to concede to a lot of the women’s right’s laws and ideals.


Just like the end of slavery or Jim Crowe wasn’t because Black people decided to fight to end it. It was because NON Blacks like Jews and Whites put in resources, laws and efforts to HELP end it as well.


Are women and Blacks at the promised land? NO! Not by any stretch. But we damn sure have made some pretty great strides compared to the past and continue to do so because we are given the RIGHTS to fight for our freedom and to punish lawfully if we aren’t given those freedoms.


These are the hard truths that no one will ever say. The face value will say WW alone helped to make feminism a success and Black people alone helped to end slavery and Jim Crowe. That aint the whole truth and nothing but the truth. That is ONLY the GOOD part of the truth that EVERYONE wants to hear. But the reality is, it took those in power to CONCEDE at some point to give the powerless more power.


What does this all mean to Black women?




We NEED White men to continue to see their women as the prize. *whew* there I said it. I would have never said this 3 months ago! But I reached this epiphany by looking at things. We need White men (who are still in power in Western society) to love, cherish and prize the women in their tribe. Because as long as they do this and are still in power, they will see fit to keep some sort of chivalry alive, to keep laws to protect their women and children in place and will continue to create environments where their women can flourish in their feminine state, will continue to police (as best they can) other male predators who can destroy the feminine ideals in society if they are allowed to run amuck.


White men in general seem to understand that a race and culture is only as strong as how it treats its vulnerable – that is women and children. That is why other races of men and people flock to the White man’s land to progress and live fairly care free lives. Something they were unable to create on their own soil in their own countries.


In essence what we do not want is for White men to start feeling about their women as Black men and other Non-White males do. Because then we are all fucked!


If you look at the basis of their movies. Ho much of it is about saving some woman vs. throwing her to the wolves. I swear almost every movie I see at some point on some level there is a MALE hero trying to save a White woman or girl. ALL.WAYS. And it goes from young to old. This is how they as a culture groom their boys and men. To always be the hero and look to save the “vulnerable” girl and woman.


Yet you have Black men and other cultures of men who brag about “not saving” women and calling men White Knights and “captain save a hoe”.




The reason why BW stay losing, stay un protected, stay at the mercy of everyone who cannot see our womanhood, is because we continue to other ourselves (as Khadija used to say).


Open ur eyes ladies! The White man’s willingness to prize, protect and WHITE KNIGHT and CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE for his women benefits us in so many real ways. But we cannot see it for the face value and hurt feelings due to how our men treat us. We want that. And we should. But we cannot force Black men to give us what the White man is willing to do for his women.


All we can do is conform to some level as to attract quality men of that tribe that still believe in protecting women and allowing femininity to flourish.


As long as WW benefit in society for being protected women, some of that will trickle down by default to us IF WE ARE WILLING TO RECEIVE IT and to act accordingly to GET IT. It aint just going to be given to us. And that is what separates the BW who will stay losing vs. those of us who will win and progress.


Because the laws are not based on race of women. But WOMEN. Just like while feminism back in the day wasn’t really about or for Black women, we have benefited GREATLY because of it although it was mainly for and still benefits WW the most.


Here’s another silver lining. IF a BW is willing to conform to a *certain degree* she too can benefit and get a piece of that pedestal. YEP I AM DEAD SERIOUS. Conformity is another issue BW don’t want to talk about. I get it. Its uncomfortable and shouldn’t have to be. But once again that’s face value. The gray area says if you conform to some degree you will benefit even greater and raise your stock JUUUST a LIL bit more and more the more you conform.


I get it conformity aint for everyone and hey not even I am willing to completely conform. But I am starting to see where and how a certain willingness to conform is going to benefit me as a WOMAN – maybe not a *BLACK* woman but as a woman.


And where can it benefit us as women:?



I get it not every BW is interested in this. But many are and that is who I am speaking too.

This is why I LOOOOOVE seeing Black women on Instagram creating make up pages and doing what the White and non-Black girls are doing. This is why I loooove seeing BW conform to those ideals because it normalizes us and destroys that “othering” shit we typically do.


As more and more Black women conform to some Non BW’s ideals those BW will get a chunk of that pedestal. And part of that chunk are those small percentage of Non-Black men willing to forgo their “prize” and share their love, resources with the small amount of BW who are ready and willing to receive it and HOLD ONTO IT.


Even if you don’t want the men, you can still live independelty and create and chart yoiur own path to happiness and well being ALONE, PARTNERED or both!


The idea here is that Westernized BW have the tools to be who and what we want, to do as we please if we see the gray area and move within it.


Keep moving in that gray area sisters. That is what separates you from the BW who will stay losing!

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: