Interested in interacting with SCUMBAGS? Go here…..

 roissy.wordpress.com

*pulling my hair out* and asking “why do I do this to myself?”

Ok, I have had enough. I knew there was scum of the earth roaming amongst us. Usually hidden in dark holes and behind dirt roads and in swamps. But when they want to come out for air they go to – ROISSY.

As previously mentioned I’ve been at this site for nearly 2 weeks and have had my fill. I can’t entirely get mad at Roissy – I mean he let me infiltrate his space.  And the jury is still out in whether Roissy himself is a scumbag or just a young guy doing what young single men do – getting laid by as many hot women possible and passing on his successes with his buds (his scumbag audience). He also  has saved me a lot of money the last two weeks. How?  – well I probably would have been off playing poker or some other throw away money scheme at a Casino if I hadn’t been so easily entertained at his site.  Annnnd, I wouldn’t have started this blog had it not been for Roissy’s site. Thank you Roissy! * nasty sarcastic frown on my face*

*excuse me while i throw something out to the universe*   I REBUKE YOU ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY! 

Ok back to Roissy:

WTF is wrong with most of those “men” (and I use the term men loosely)  over there? Were they breast fed by cows instead of mommy? not Hugged enough? its obvious they aren’t getting laid. I mean really. To be such happy pigs in shit is so beyond disgusting. but then again – its the internet. Many low life’s roam in places like that b/c they can’t manage to forge anything positive for themselves in the real world. (soooo  why I was there?) Uh. I’ll get back to you on that one.

Here’s the thing. The men I come in contact with day to day in the real world (at work, out and about) etc., seem to be pretty decent stable human beings. i cannot imagine any of them sitting on a site like Roissy’s bitching about “bitches”. They are making things happen and are happy.

It has finally occurred to me that, that site is not healthy for a sane decent person. it sucks the life, blood, guts and brain matter out of you. that’s what scum do – its their specialty.

Some of the shit i read on there has me wondering is this what people spend their time and life focused on? getting coochie by any means necessary from “hot slutty bitches” and calling women STUPID for being women?

(A.D.D moment kicking in)

I was easting sushi the other day. next to me sat a middle aged average looking White hubby and wife.  they looked to be in their early 40’s. Its was the wife’s B-DAY. What intrigued me about this couple was the constant laughter and joking around they were doing with each other.  As I waited for my sushi, i watched them. I looked and saw the connection, happiness and fun they were having with each other. They were genuinely enjoying each other’s company. The wife? Was she some hot slutty bitch? Nope! She was really skinny; she had crow’s feet and lines throughout her face – really thin hair and plain features. Probably like 42. But she was HAPPY and her husband adored her.  She kept ordering all kinds of different specialty rolls to try and they were laughing and talking about “how she used to be such a cheap date” years ago when they met. All i heard from them was laughter. then they invited me in on their laughter and jokes. i was so touched by them. The sushi guy had some incredible baby Albacore fresh in from the shore that he wanted us to try. So they agreed to try and talked me into it. Before he finished making the albacore the wife had got up to go to the bathroom. As she was in the bathroom, I and the husband received our albacore. I dug right in. And he sat there patiently. So the sushi guy asked him what the hold up was. And he just non chalantly said “oh i want to wait for my wife to come back so we can try it together”. *tears rolling down my eyes*  This is the kind of guy on Roissy that is called a “BETA”  (their version of scum of the earth).  If that is Beta, bring on the BETA BABY!

Ok some may say WTH are you telling this story for??? I’m telling this story b/c THAT is the shit that really matters in life.  Being with a decent fkn person who looks beyond your flaws, wrinkles, thin ass hair and not so hot body (she was thin in that trailer park trash kinda way).  I am not saying this to put her down. i am saying this to STRESS how even a woman who is not physically close to hot, has found love and happiness in a man who adores her. This woman was the plainest Jane walking and her husband (quite charming) loved her dirty drawls (or is it drawers?).    She was laughing, he was laughing they were enjoying each other’s company after all those years together. And so, I look at people like that, and try to have them as my inspiration when I come across scum on the internet. 

It reinforced one thing to me: all that BS on Roissy’s  is for the Birds. 

just some random thoughts for you to marinate on….

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78 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. NeecyFan
    Jul 28, 2011 @ 15:28:37

    Wassup Neecy!
    I ‘m so glad you got to experience a moment like that, in fact I hope that is not a rare occurrence. Love is out there for everyone, and as I said before, sites like Roissy [his is not even one of the best ones by the way] are too unfiltered and raw to be digested by women in a meaningful way. That’s “real talk” by men in a male domain. The talk found there is pretty much standard man talk in locker rooms, bars, and around poker tables across the states. Nothing about it is for female consumption. Similar to how you ladies discuss your body issues or sex. I personally don’t see why you subject yourself to it.

    Either way keep the post coming, and remember that the gutters and sewers may be full of garbage and sh#t, but they are necessary to relieve and remove all the waste that is produced by society.

    Oh, and I wish everyone, PUAs and you as well would stop using the whole Beta, Alpha, Omega thing. It DOES NOT CORRELATE at all to human beings. And just servers to muddy the waters of male female interaction. And Lord knows they are murky enough.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 28, 2011 @ 16:16:41

      Wasn’t that story beautiful? *snif snif* When i startt losing hope I just think of couples like that and have yet a glimmer.

      You’re right about staying away from PUA sites. its a little more than i bargained for I think. Its very raw and unfiltered and depressing for a bubbly happy go lucky girl like me. But i do have to give a kudos to Roissy. He deleted a very mean spirited comment made to me yesterday by a poster. I don’t think its so much *him* as it is the people he attracts to the site.

      I agree about the Alpha Beta thing. Its a lot of overlapping and misunderstandings of each. And since everyone is an individual is possible for people to have traits of both. I don’t think putting a lable on people or placing them in boxes is ever a good idea. I think there are genral qualities that both possess – but you can’t say one is better than the other for women.

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      • Liza207
        Jul 28, 2011 @ 16:57:53

        Neecy, I have decided to throw out the whole alpha, beta, omega, sigma, delta and gamma crap. It’s enough already.

        I read Roissy blog but like I said, I’m not fazed because I always knew that most men thought like that. It just confirmed my suspicions that’s all. But when a truly decent man meets a woman who is loving and decent that all goes out the window.

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      • Neecy
        Jul 29, 2011 @ 06:14:42

        Yes. i’m done with the whole alpha beta thing myself. I know what i like and want and I don’t care how other people view “the type” of guy I am attracted to. That’s what matters at the end of the day.

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  2. Liza207
    Jul 28, 2011 @ 16:46:46

    Neecy, that was so well said. I almost wanted to shed a few tears myself. That’s really it in a nutshell. I truly believe that is what most women want (let me refrain: that’s what emotionally healthy women want). There’s nothing like a man that can make you laugh and feel good about yourself when you’re with him– a man like that is totally priceless. I’m not going to discount physical attraction because I’m very visual but if that’s all he has to offer are visuals…I’ll pass. I’ve been there done that.

    Now, the scumbags on Roissy are not banging 9’s and 10’s trust me most of them would be lucky to bag 6’s. Most high caliber women or coveted women are not out there “giving up” to losers. They tend to be very selective in the men they choose to get involved with, which only makes sense since they have more options, right? The problem for most beautiful women is that they tend to get hit on by scumbags, jerks, bad boys, and cads. The nice decent guys are often too intimidated to approach which can be very frustrating. There may come a time when you just get so tired of being dateless that will go out with one of these idiots hoping that they will have some redeeming qualities but that’s just wishful thinking — they are what they are. So, you either decide to go it alone or date the scumbags and attempt to make him into someone dateable which usually an epic failure.

    I will admit that I often get annoyed with nice decent guys for not stepping up. I love them but they can be almost as annoying as the bad boys at times. My attitude use to be that I’m not going to do all the work and wait for them to man up but now I see I have to be a little more encouraging and more patient with them.
    I will never go out with another asshole ever again (they usually don’t get pass one date with me anyway) hoping for the best because it’s a waste of time. I see so many beautiful women walking alone on the weekends and it’s insane. The nice decent guys are going to have to step it up and they can’t become upset when they see hot women with jerks or get pissy because she doesn’t throw herself at you because you’re not a jerk, some work is required.

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    • NeecyFan
      Jul 28, 2011 @ 18:59:59

      Liza,
      I’m kinda torn with your last paragraph. Not because it’s offensive, or mean, but because it’s telling. I’m not sure if you are aware of it, but you come off as hostile, and combative. I have absolutely no reason to think that you aren’t attractive, happy, or content to be alone. (in fact i prefer to think that’s the case)

      But your statement “My attitude use to be that I’m not going to do all the work and wait for them to man up, but now I see I have to be a little more encouraging and more patient with them.” is such a curious one. why would you not throw a “nice” guy you like a bone if he doesn’t seem to be approaching you in the way you like? A man would never have that attitude. Yet women do on the regular. At least you’ve now adapted to being “more encouraging and patient.”

      I really don’t think women understand that MOST guys with the confidence and skill to successfully approach a woman are the guys who have either fought long and hard in the trenches to develop those skills “PUAs” or are just naturally cocky, macho, high confidence males, who are used to getting their way with women. The “average guy” IS NOT LIKE THAT.

      He’s not smooth, cocky, knows how to instantly dis-arm a woman with a smile, or establish instant sexual attraction, or any of the between the lines “dream man” type skills women unwittingly respond to. Believe you me, I’ve done ALOT of experimentation on that front and the nuances of instantly sweeping a woman off her feet, are pretty complicated, but easily and reliably effective once learned..

      But I’ve learned that in the end, it’s so unnecessary. Regular woman do respond to “just flowers” or a awkward though sincere compliment ie “I think you’re gorgeous”, or just good convo while standing at a bus stop, followed by a date suggestion. Unfortunately any woman who is halfway attractive or pretty, is so jaded by PUAs and “cocky, all woman want me” type guys and their to be honest, effective approach methods; that regular guys do little more than annoy these women. She’s use to instant butterflies, instant attraction, and having her lust instantly aroused.

      Until she matures, or that type of attentions seriously wanes, a normal guy doesn’t have a chance with her.

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      • Liza207
        Jul 28, 2011 @ 21:01:17

        I’m not sure if you are aware of it, but you come off as hostile, and combative. I have absolutely no reason to think that you aren’t attractive, happy, or content to be alone. (in fact i prefer to think that’s the case)

        Why are women seen as combative or hostile when we have opinions or doesn’t agree with everything a man says?

        ” why would you not throw a “nice” guy you like a bone if he doesn’t seem to be approaching you in the way you like?”

        NF,
        It’s like this. And over the years (and currently) after being hit on by jerks, cads and so on all of the time (note: I have never rode the “bad boy” dick carousel)I never developed flirting skills. I guess I’m just tired of waiting for that nice decent attractive guy that I always wanted to approach me to do so. And I have given the nice guy a chance but they never take the next step. They always seem scared.

        “But I’ve learned that in the end, it’s so unnecessary. Regular woman do respond to “just flowers” or a awkward though sincere compliment ie “I think you’re gorgeous”, or just good convo while standing at a bus stop, followed by a date .”

        The nice decent guys don’t usually walk up to really attractive women and start random conversations or give compliments, especially in non-social environments. In my experience, the guys who have approached like that were jerks and PUA’s. Any guy that has ever approached me in a public non-social setting turned out to be a jerk.

        “She’s use to instant butterflies, instant attraction, and having her lust instantly aroused. ”

        I’m not going to deny this. But I bet men aren’t waiting around to get aroused either.

        “Until she matures, or that type of attentions seriously wanes, a normal guy doesn’t have a chance with her.”

        Or comes to the realization that she may need to step out of her comfort zone.

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      • Neecy
        Jul 29, 2011 @ 06:25:00

        NF,

        Like Liza, i too often get approached only by the jerks and hypermasculine guys. i don’t want them! But one thing I like about them is that they are very persistent and forward about making the move. they don’t hesitate to make a move.

        And the thing is sometimes even BUMS or random old farts have more guts than the nice attractive guys who won’t approach! LOL Just today i was out and this homeless man was standing outside the store and said flat out “hey beautiful can we go for a ride together” (LMAO) as I was entering my car. Now what the hell am I going to do with some old smelly toothless bum? LOL But at least he tried! if Bums can work up the gall to hit on a woman why can’t these good guys who have a lot going for them?

        i know some women can be straight out biatches towards nice guys who approach them. But if a nice guy observes long enough he can tell what kind of woman she would be.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 06:13:07

      yes Liza,

      It can be quite annoying/frustrating when the nice quiet guys don’t approach you. i get approached mainly by more aggressive hyper-masculine men and I don’t want those men. I want the laid back reserved guys. but the catch is, they never hardly make the first moves.

      I am thinking that in order to meet guys like this, we would have to join clubs and other sorts of social type functions where there is a more casual setting and no one feels pressured to make a first move right away. I’m guessing this is where these men feel more comfortable in getting to know you as a friend first then moving forward.

      I have no probs with the “friends first” deal. I think that works out just as well as immediate dating.

      Yes physical attraction is very important. Moreso for me, I just want to have a connection that makes me physically and emotionally attracted to him. If a physically good looking guy approaches me but is hypermasculine, too cocky or aggressive, I am turned off. If a guy who is somewhat attractive but with the personality I like, I would go for the less attractive guy with the laid back cool persona.

      in this particular sushi case what moved me was that this woman was not the “conventional beauty” nor was she some “young hottie” that all men claim they need to have to be happy. She was a plain Jane in her 40’s and still in love with her husband and vice versa. One can look at a couple and tell when its real. They had real chemistry. Like you said, Everywoman wants that!

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  3. noize
    Jul 28, 2011 @ 17:02:54

    two hypothetical questions:
    1. what was the husband in your story like when he first started dating the woman who would become his wife?
    2. does that description match the last three guys you dated?

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    • Neecy
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 04:13:37

      Hi Noize!

      1) I don’t know what the hubby was like at all. i went by how he interacted with his wife, smiled at her, joked with her, laughed with her and waited for her before eating his sushi.

      2) No not at all!

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  4. Neil Hansen
    Jul 28, 2011 @ 17:16:48

    Roissy is around 40 and he’s a little crazy. He exaggerates for emphasis or he wouldn’t have a readership. Pay no attention. Or not too much attention. I’ve been reading his blog for two years and after awhile one does get perspective. I’m beta to the core and being beta doesn’t bother me.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 04:11:26

      Hi Neil glad you stopped by! Did you see he changed his link to heartiste. wordpress.com
      not sure why but….

      Are you kidding he is 40?! How do you know this?

      Betas are good dudes. I have always liked a cool laid back guys who are not too cocky

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      • NeecyFan
        Jul 29, 2011 @ 05:28:32

        yeah, what NH says is true i suppose, there’s even picks of him floating around. White, well dressed, kinda “urban socialite” looking cat. He works for the Fed Gov. He and Lady Raine got into it and identities were revealed and picks posted and personal info got exposed…CRAZY!

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      • Neecy
        Jul 29, 2011 @ 05:56:28

        Are you seeeerious!? LOL A lot of the members there hate me but I really could care less. Unless he tells me personally to leave I will. I actually sent him an email asking him if he wants me to leave I will – but that it won’t be b/c some of his scumbag readers who have a prob with me.

        Who is Lady Raine? Someone he was going out with and gamed too hard and the relationship turned sour? LOL

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  5. NeecyFan
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 00:37:34

    Well Liza I hope stepping out of your comfort zone works out. Being a woman chances are it will. I’m surprised to hear you admit that you never developed flirting skills. That’s something my boys and I have noticed about the single ladies in “our age range” ie 30 and up. Flirt game is tight among the younger females these days. I mean a lot of these youngins have SERIOUS banter game. So much so that they easily charm the pants of young and old guys alike.

    But the female friends I know, or my boys date who are over 30 aren’t nearly as well versed. in fact I know of only 2 female friends of mine ‘who bring it ‘on the convo/flirt front and they are 41 and 39. I wonder why that is?

    As for the nice guy who seems scared, most times scared guys are just clueless/unsure guys. they need you to be upfront that you like them. As much as females get frustrated with us for not picking up on your hints, many times your hints are just too freakin subtle. Men are forward, open, and above all obvious. we don’t do subtle well. Once he knows where he stands and that you do indeed feel what he’s putting out, you’d be surprised how quickly the “hotness” starts bubbling to the surface.

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    • Liza207
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 03:12:24

      That’s something my boys and I have noticed about the single ladies in “our age range” ie 30 and up. Flirt game is tight among the younger females these days. I mean a lot of these youngins have SERIOUS banter game. So much so that they easily charm the pants of young and old guys alike.

      NF,

      Maybe there needs to be some form of PUA (banter game/flirting)training for shy women who want to meet shy guys. What do you think?

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      • NeecyFan
        Jul 29, 2011 @ 05:05:19

        LOL I’m all for it, even now, as a married off the market guy, I have developed some serious crushes just becasue of good banter! I don’t even want to imagine the end result of such training: Beautiful, confident, sexy AND, can flirt, talk and just carry good banter with the best of em? WATCH OUT! These dudes wouldn’t know what hit em!

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    • Neecy
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 06:32:23

      Can you give us a description of the kinds of flirting you are talking about. ***WAIT I THINK I’M GOING TO MAKE MY NEXT POST ON THIS****

      B/C I am very anti approach a man first. but I, also like Liza, don’t know how to flirt. I can talk to ANYBODY but when it comes to a man I’m attracted to in person, I clam up and wait for him to make the first move. Honestly i don’t think a lot of Black Women know how to flirt or have playful banter with men. This is something that we have never been encouraged to do. Its definitley in Liza and my generation. And I think this is probably one of the biggest reasons we haven’t been able to get the guys we want ot have our eyes on.

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  6. zorroprimo
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 09:27:30

    Nice blog. Try not to get too wrapped up with Roissy. And don’t call men scumbags because they act like pigs. Call them pigs.

    I still want to spank you.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 16:17:52

      ZOOOOORRRROOOOOOO!!! hehe!

      Okay you alway give good sound advice. If this blog keeps me busy enough I don’t have time to get wrapped up in Roissy or Heartiste. LOl I cannot believe some people are blaming me as to why he changed the blog. Maybe he’s trying to dump some of the loser men who post there and have a better quality audience? that never occured to them either.

      I don’t think all men are pigs, but they can be quite piggish when they want to be 🙂

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  7. Alpha Cat
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 11:14:43

    Alright… here’s the situation. I’m young (26) and after many many years I have been burnt way too many times. That’s reason alone for most women to instantly scream out “OHHH you’re just bitter women dumped/used you!!” and fucking rights I am. Constantly searching for answers on how to improve my situations, and to become a better man. Now, when you get into PUA its about banging girls, but above that you learn that it’s really about improving yourself, FOR YOURSELF. It doesn’t become about anybody else, nor does it mean anything to do with women.

    There are very important lessons that I have learned from his blog that I wish my father had taught me while i was younger and in elementary school. My life would have turned out different if I had known then.

    I wouldn’t be so quick to say that everyone on there are pigs. I’ve heard plenty of women say equally disgusting things in real life, and on other blogs. We are the same, nobody likes rejection.

    Alright so final statement, I think things were different back then for society and the nuclear family isn’t what it is anymore today. It’s a failing mess, due to the effects of the feminist movement. Back then, women stayed with their husbands because they truly did love them for all that they were. Nowadays you have bitches who think the world owes them everything without having to work for it. I’ve met plenty of gold diggers and it all starts at a young age for women. I’m sure you can agree with that.

    I came to your blog because I was awfully curious as to why blog commenters were hating on you so much. Anyways, looking forward to the next entries you might have. Cheers Neecy.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 16:40:55

      Hi Alpha Cat! Thanks for coming by.

      Look I am not going to sit here with my sisterhood blinders on and say that women can’t be messy. And yes women can be messy often with the good guys who do them right. BUT, you are only 26 and have plenty time ahead of you to understand not all women are like this. It seems to me when good guys who got burned start griping about women its only a “certain” kind of woman that he keeps targeting and going for. Usually guys like this never try other types of women b/c they want what they want. And usually its an emotionally unavailable woman who is soooo super hot you cannot resist .Even when you know whatever she seeks in you is solely for her own gain. It’s the same argument you men have for the hot girls who go for bad boys, then suddenly become bitter at all men bc they got used up and put away wet by these same kinds of men they kept going for, knowing fully well that these men cannot provide the emotional needs they seek in a man.

      Well that is the price a man pays for solely looking at looks when it comes to women. You say in the past women loved their good hubbies for all they were. And men loved women for all they were BEYOND her physical. So you fellas have to also check your standards and ask yourself if the path you have been taking is too shallow.

      Now I understand that men are visual creatures and are primarily driven by a woman’s looks. But this is often used as an excuse as to why its okay for him to keep choosing bad women “b/c every man wants a hot woman”. But that is still not enough reason for me to grant a waiver on why you keep choosing bad women (b/c they look good).

      Yes if all women could have a stallion in the bedroom we’d take that too. But fact is every man that is a stallion in the bedroom isn’t always the best man to be involved with. So I would say the same to a female who keeps choosing bad boys (b/c they are good in bed). For every shallow choice one makes in love, there will be consequences. That goes for both male and females. There are other qualities that many women have that make her beautiful and feminine. Just like there are many qualities that men have that make them masculine. Women who are nurturing, kind, dress up and try to look feminine, unselfish, fun. But it seems those women are too “boring” and not slutty or edgy enough for a lot of the good guys who want the super hot edgy girl that all men are chasing down.

      So I am not so sure I am going to feel bad for the good men who keep picking one type of woman who is sorely out of his league (in the sense that she does not share the same values, morals as you do – BUT only has her looks going for her) and thus, you end up getting eaten alive by women like this. And thus, turn bitter towards ALL WOMEN.

      This is primarily why good guys don’t approach women like me. I’m not edgy enough. I am attractive, but I am also not willing to put myself out there like a lot of women do today to get male attention. It seems these are the women that all men are going after (including the good guys). So honestly, when a good guy gets burned, I just shrug and say its his fault – just like you shrug and say its the women’s fault who keep getting burned by bad boys who treat them badly.

      I’m not against men or anyone going and participating in forums or places where they seek to improve their chances at getting the best mate possible. But when they start taking it out of perspective and accusing “all” women of being a certain way (when the reality is they haven’t given all women a try) then that irks me.

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      • Liza207
        Jul 29, 2011 @ 19:26:56

        “Look I am not going to sit here with my sisterhood blinders on and say that women can’t be messy. And yes women can be messy often with the good guys who do them right.”

        Yes, this is very true. I have seen this time and time again. There are some women out there who don’t feel that they deserve to be treated well and will sabotage relationships or interactions with good guys who are well meaning. These women have serious self-esteem issues.

        “It’s the same argument you men have for the hot girls who go for bad boys, then suddenly become bitter at all men bc they got used up and put away wet by these same kinds of men they kept going for, knowing fully well that these men cannot provide the emotional needs they seek in a man.”

        I know women like as well (my sisters). They keep going for the men treat who them like shit and if I suggest that they give a good guy a chance, they scoff at the thought of being with a guy that. He’d be a bore. But have built up such a hatred of men that even if a decent guy came along and they were willing to date him— it wouldn’t be long before he’d leave skid marks due to the bitterness and damage.

        “Now I understand that men are visual creatures and are primarily driven by a woman’s looks. But this is often used as an excuse as to why its okay for him to keep choosing bad women “b/c every man wants a hot woman”.”

        I do understand that men are driven in this way and I really don’t judge them for wanting the best looking lay or partner they can get but they need to put things in perspective. I would rather be with 7 or an 8 who is good to me than a 9 or 10 who is an asshole. I’ve rejected these types (9’s &10’s) for relationships and lays because I couldn’t get past their awful self-centered personalities. Why reward shitty behavior ?

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      • Neecy
        Jul 30, 2011 @ 17:30:09

        Its true Liza. Its all about a balance. Its not shallow to want an attractive mate, but once you start putting all your eggs in that basket only, they will eventually crack. When they do, people start becomming bitter and start blaming the opposite sex instead of themsleves for the choices they continue making. That is what is wrong with male/female relaitons these days. Everyone is beyond shallow. Instead of looking at themselves and their own values and things they need to be fulfilled in a reltionship, they simply look at the outside of the person and believe that it will all come together. And when it doesn;t, they get mad at the whole gender for thier own choices.

        If a man is simply going into to have sex with an attractive woman with issues, BUT has kept everything into perspective then there shouldn’t be a problem. but if you are chasing after slutty attractive women with issues (b/c they look good) and then suddenly expect them to be the perfect g/f, then you’re the one with the issues, not her.

        Same thing applies to women who allow bad boys in their lives who use them and treat them like crap. Then these scorned women become bitter against all men and start calling all men “dogs” b/c of the bad choices they have made. People need to start owning up to their bad choices and stop blaming the opposite gender for it.

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  8. Neil Hansen
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 15:33:46

    What is your age, Neecy?

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  9. Neil Hansen
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 18:53:49

    What’s your upper age limit in a man? I have a 15 yr rule, which means I won’t hit on a woman 26 or younger. When it comes to my age or older (with women) I am thinking it is possible that its better to be single. When I turned 40 last year I think I realized that for women of my age its no longer about being “hot.” This is understandable, obviously. So by 40 most women are somewhat matronly. There are some women who still dress to kill, but it’s somewhat off-putting because a 40 yr old woman (unless she is an exercise fanatic) doesn’t have the goods anymore. Best case scenario I think is a woman has paired up with a decent guy by 35. But in today’s fast-paced, hurly-burly world, that doesn’t always happen. But no matter what, over the age of 35-40, men and women better have something else on the ball than just sex. You better have some hobbies or interests. Sex is ten times better with an ordinary woman you have a connection with compared to a “hot” woman you don’t have any connection to.

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    • Liza207
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 20:31:58

      Now that’s the way a real man thinks. I also think somebody crushing on someone here. 🙂

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    • Neecy
      Jul 30, 2011 @ 16:15:32

      That’s funny you asked Neil about my upper age limit b/c I guess I never thought really hard about it, since most of the men I have gone out with have been around my age, younger or a couple of years above it. Often times guys my age think I am a bit younger so they think they are getting together with a woman in her late 20’s when i am really their age. LOL But I would say no more than 8 yrs my senior or younger than me. I won’t date a guy younger than 28 (this was the lowest i have gone). In my experience the youngins like that are good for fun dates and possibly chit chatting with every now and then, but rarely for LTR’s.

      Neil You are so right! At a certain point (especially for women beyond those desirable ages) , women need to understand that their focus and priorities should be on fulfilling her life in other ways besides waiting on a LTR or marriage. If those happen, great. But I find the most unhappiest women are those who sit and gripe about their age and not having “a man”. Instead of doing things that she enjoys and other things that are uplifting and bring some value to her or her life. Smart women are doing this and realizing the fairytale fantasy of the white knight may not always come true. better have a plan B if you are over the age of 35 and not married or in a serious LTR .

      I will say I don’t think women look matronly at 40! LOL At least not where I live. The 40 yr old women still look pretty good and if they have taken care of themselves often still look like they could be in their 30’s.

      I agree. Sex with a person you know and trust is sooo much better than with a random person. But let’s face it. I’m realizing a woman’s libido increases as she gets older. LOL. I know mine has compared to when I was in my 20’s. So women 35 and up ages who are still single and focus on hobbies and interests, still have a need and desire for sex.

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  10. Liza207
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 19:28:07

    “BUT only has her looks going for her) and thus, you end up getting eaten alive by women like this. And thus, turn bitter towards ALL WOMEN.”

    Exposing yourself to constant abuse can result in a lot of damage.

    “This is primarily why good guys don’t approach women like me. I’m not edgy enough. I am attractive, but I am also not willing to put myself out there like a lot of women do today to get male attention.”

    I’m hot but I’m not edgy enough and drama filled or slutty. So you get shelved until their ready to settle down and stop chasing sluts. Their one particular guy who has a lot going for him (looks money—a really dominate male) I bet he thinks I’ll be waiting for him when he’s done with the slutty women he loves banging so much.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 30, 2011 @ 17:49:10

      “I’m hot but I’m not edgy enough and drama filled or slutty. So you get shelved until their ready to settle down and stop chasing sluts. Their one particular guy who has a lot going for him (looks money—a really dominate male) I bet he thinks I’ll be waiting for him when he’s done with the slutty women he loves banging so much.”

      THIS is what bugs me. I went out with this guy (we weren’t b/f –g/f just dating off and on) who was 34, nice looking and had his own business. Has a lot going for him. This person thought that b/c of my age (mid 30’s), and b/c of everything he has going for himself that I was going to be desperate and sleep with him with him early on. Then when I decided I was done (b/c he kept trying for sex), he felt the need to tell me that I was trying too hard to “keep it tight” and that was going to be reason I will be alone b/c no man “of his caliber” is going to wait around for a woman to have intimacy with him. LOL I was like “then I guess I will be alone then!”.

      Liza, These men do not have ANY reason today to stick around with a woman who isn’t giving up the goods on the first or second date. And if you are a woman past her 20’s they feel you are so desperate for any kind of male companionship. But what kills me is when they start trying to call you several months later out of thin air to “see what’s up”. I know what they are doing. They are “checking in” to see if the time is ripe for them to get it. LOL They believe you are sitting around waiting for them b/c you have no other choices. I don’t pretend with them. If they ask me if I am still single I say “YEP!” and they just laugh like its something I should be ashamed of.

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      • Liza207
        Jul 30, 2011 @ 21:06:40

        Neecy, I’m tired of women being defined our marital status. Not every woman in the world is obsessed with being in a LTR or being married. I know women who are quite happy being single and who have never been in a LTR and who are past 35 and they’re wonderful women whom any man would be lucky to have in their lives. It seems that if you’re a woman and not married be before 35, it’s assumed that there is something wrong with you or that you’re defective in someway. Because you know only really special women get married. I’ve so over it.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 01, 2011 @ 04:58:55

        Exactly Liza. I have learned to let it go and simply refuse to be caught up in that frame of mind. Nowadays a good decent attractive woman doesn’t stand a chance with all of the attractive easily bed, easily manipulated, easily walked over woman. its too easy for men to not have to work anymore for a relationship. The ball is in their court now and if you are a woman who refuses to give into easy sex and non reciprocating relationships, you are better off being alone. Or my favorite the PUA’s like to say is “alone with a billion cats”. Well at least these women will live longer b/c studies show people with pets live longer. LOL I wonder what studies shows women who deal with the emotional stress and strain of a jerk in their lives shortening their life span? LOL

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  11. Liza207
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 19:30:31

    “So honestly, when a good guy gets burned, I just shrug and say its his fault – just like you shrug and say its the women’s fault who keep getting burned by bad boys who treat them badly.”

    This how I often feel too .

    “I’m not against men or anyone going and participating in forums or places where they seek to improve their chances at getting the best mate possible.”

    Like I said, PUA blogs don’t bother me.

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  12. n/a
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 22:00:37

    Neecy. You love it. 😉

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    • Neecy
      Jul 30, 2011 @ 15:30:29

      NEECY: Its like being in a dysfunctional abuse relationship with a 1000 men. LOL

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      • n/a
        Jul 31, 2011 @ 02:35:34

        Exactly. And you look like you’re built to handle precisely that. Just relax and keep your cool and you’ll see: there’s a lot to learn over there.

        Finally. Please realize that most of the guys over there are *plenty nice* — maybe too nice — IRL. That’s a big part of why they’re there at all.

        There are very few true lechers and scary dudes to be found at a site like Roissy. I should know.

        I hope you’ll stick it out b/c I like seeing your smiley teddy bear of an avatar.

        NEECY: I dunno N/A. I haven’t seen “plenty nice” at all. I’m still waiting for it. Granted there are a couple of sweeties, but they certainly are not the majority. I’ll post to Heartiste every now and then, but I think I have so much to say i am better off saying it in my own space.

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      • Neil Hansen
        Jul 31, 2011 @ 06:13:18

        That’s not applicable.

        NEECY: Yeah nice is n/a over at Heartiste’s LOL

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  13. Neil Hansen
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 22:48:30

    Hey Liza, how are you? Are you a west coast gal, too? I think Heartiste is difficult for women to read, it was even difficult for me to read when I first started but now it doesn’t bother me. I mostly just laugh. I think he is a little out there, a bit of a provocateur. And there are a lot of straight up assholes who comment there but there are some insightful ones, too.

    I don’t classify men into alpha and beta, not anymore. I did when I first began reading his blog, but now I find it amusing. A beta man is simply a man with some convictions, is strong and principled, and pays attention to details and his wife’s or gf’s needs. I’m not sure what alpha is supposed to mean. I guess it means some sort of demi-god. Which is laughable because no one is a god. But paying attention to your wife or girlfriend and doing little things which make her feel good is not something a man should ever feel bad about. Funny how they got it so twisted.

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    • Liza207
      Jul 30, 2011 @ 01:48:00

      Hi Neil! I’m from New York City. Heartiste’s blog is absolutely amusing to me. And probably it’s difficult for women to read because it wasn’t meant for us to read it. LOL! I use to hang out with my best friend who was a guy and his guys friends, so I’m use to locker room talk. I’m not fazed believe me. Yeah, there are some real assholes there and they’re out for blood.

      Yes, betas tend to be very in tuned with a woman’s needs and they keep things in order. A woman can relax because she is confident that he knows his responsibilities as a man and she can depend on him to make the right decisions. I believe they make great (or probably the best) lovers as well. They really aim to please. Now, I don’t understand why any women wouldn’t desire a man like that.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 30, 2011 @ 17:59:24

      NEIL SAID: A beta man is simply a man with some convictions, is strong and principled, and pays attention to details and his wife’s or gf’s needs. I’m not sure what alpha is supposed to mean. I guess it means some sort of demi-god. Which is laughable because no one is a god. But paying attention to your wife or girlfriend and doing little things which make her feel good is not something a man should ever feel bad about. Funny how they got it so twisted.

      NEECY: Neil this is exactly what and how I always viewed Betas. I was raised by a man like this *my dad* and no one is going to tell me he is a weakling. My dad could easily fall right into the classic definition of “alpha” b/c of his looks, job, height, etc. But he is a laid back easy going man, who when in love is faithful. I want a man like my dad and that man would be the classic “beta”.

      But I hate the terms Alpha and Beta b/c it seems so many people have different definitions or ideas of what that is. Some people think being an asshole who screws a lot of women is Alpha. Others see Alphas as leaders, mover and shakers, etc.

      I have, for all intense purposes to toss those labels in the trash when describing the men I like. I know what kind of man I like and that is one who is attentive, caring and kind. If that means BETA then as I said before bring it on!

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      • Zorro
        Jul 30, 2011 @ 23:30:41

        Okay. This is a pet peeve of mine. I can overlook bad spelling or silly grammar, but this stops me in my tracks.

        The correct phrase is: “…for all intents and purposes…”

        Please exercise caution in the future. Many thanks. You may now roam about the cabin.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 01, 2011 @ 05:02:45

        LOL! Keep me honest BABE keep me honest!! Love ya and thx. i learned something very important and new today 😉

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  14. Cole
    Jul 31, 2011 @ 20:31:41

    I will always be grateful for bloggers like Heartiste, Dalrock, Captain Capitalism and the such. Without the things I learned from these sites, I would still be unsatisfied and depressed with my life. Heartiste is just a part, an important one, of a wide range bloggers that all men out there would be better off reading.

    The “nice” girls that are out there are vastly out-numbered by the ones that are not. What the manosphere teaches guys is how to identify the traits that make certain women not worth your time, regardless of whether your goal is marriage, or just a one night stand. This advice was never available from any of the guys I knew in my life. I was always told that I would never be happy unless I settled down with a woman and had children. I was never taught how to filter undesirable women out.

    I’ve also learned to take my life just as it comes.I can now more easily concentrate on the things I love to do like my hobbies and my job. If marriage happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I’m happy either way knowing now it’s on my terms, instead of people saying I should. The manosphere presents a wide range of alternatives that most men never knew existed.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 01, 2011 @ 05:51:01

      Hi Cole!!

      yes I am not against men or women finding places that help them understand the opposite sex and how to manuever within the dating/mating arena. let;s face it most of our parents were living in a different time and era and mating under complete different circumsances. So a lot of men and women today are going at it like a baby trying to walk on its own. And then feminism has also muddied the waters with male/female relationships and roles and so everyone is just flying by the seat of their pants trying to make it in the dating world.

      Although you said the PUA sites are trying to direct you to avoid certain kind sof women, I don’t see it like that. It seems they are directing you towards a certain low caliber type of woman b/c they are easier to manipulate for sex. At least that’s what I read from them. And not only that, they seem to teach that base don a small number of these women, that all women should be treated accordingly. That’s the issue I have with some of the PUA message.

      YOU SAID: I’ve also learned to take my life just as it comes.I can now more easily concentrate on the things I love to do like my hobbies and my job.

      NEECY: THIS. I cannot stress how important this is not only for women but men today. Especially as a woman in her 30’s I realize now how much more important it is for me to make the best of my life doing what I love and focusing on hobbies and interests that uplift me. I now enjoy being around family more than ever. They never leave or forsake you!

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      • Liza207
        Aug 01, 2011 @ 14:44:43

        I want to add that, Cole, mentioned that the good girls/women are outnumbered by the bad ones. I believe this is true. If you’re getting positive reenforcement and lots of male attention for bad behavior (e.g. being, slutty and bitchy), so then why bother with being decent. Even an unattractive women if she is “easy” gets more attention than an attractive woman who isn’t. Look at the women who participate in the ‘slut walks”. LOL! Women love male attention and if “slutting it up ” is going to get them that (and it gets them a lot) then that’s the behavior the girl/woman is going to emulate the most because of the payoff. There’s very little payoff when you’re a nice/decent girl. I wish PUA sites would stop denying this. Most women behave badly because that’s what most men want.

        I also want to add that, most of the bitterness and resentment that men have against women, mainly comes from the fact that women can get sex much easier than men. As women, we don’t have to learn game, have money or even looks– our vagina is all that is required for the most part. Men have been pissed about this fact for centuries which is why they have been so determined to control our sexuality. Now that they can’t and since men LOVE sex and are slaves to their libidos, which is why they are not very selective about who they’re willing to bang–let’s face it. The thought of some fatty getting banged on the regular by hot guys/bad boys (without much effort on her part) makes most of them absolutely livid. I believe that’s really the source of the bitterness and resentment for most of them.

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      • Neil Hansen
        Aug 01, 2011 @ 15:35:34

        Men don’t want to control women’s sexuality, but what they do want is paternal certainty. This is why it must be such a tightrope for women to walk when trying to acquire a good man. If you’re too slutty, it’s a turn-off to a high quality man. If a man is going to invest in a woman, he must be convinced that his children really are his. It’s the ability to cuckold which makes men bitter. But men could care less if random women are having lots of sex. They just want to be sure that the woman they’ve invested in isn’t a whore.

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    • Mindful
      Aug 03, 2011 @ 20:53:28

      @Cole, you needed the manosphere to let you know that you had choices in life? Really?

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  15. Liza207
    Aug 01, 2011 @ 17:20:34

    “Men don’t want to control women’s sexuality, but what they do want is paternal certainty.”

    This is accomplished by attempting to control a woman’s sexually. Women had to endured centuries of slut shaming and condemnation employed by patriarchy in order to keep our sexuality under control.

    I have heard men online and offline admit that a lot of their resentment towards women has to do with how much easier it is for women to get laid than it is for them. I have heard men admit to this. So, I’m not pulling out of the air.

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  16. Neil Hansen
    Aug 01, 2011 @ 19:32:30

    Yes, I have to admit that for a young man, sexual access is a need.

    Again, we are talking about tone and nuance here. “Controlled sexuality” in my mind indicates rape. “Restrained sexuality” indicates consent. So I am quibbling with you over words here. I don’t believe the entirety of women were raped throughout history, or enslaved as in chains. Men did find a way during the industrial revolution to harness nature to technology, and create vast wealth. Women, preferring dominant men, restrained themselves to get access to the highest quality males. Slut shaming is never done by men. Only women slut shame – other women. Men, if they are to invest in a woman, needed to be assured the baby she was carrying was actually his, and not someone else’s.

    So while I agree with you that sexuality was restrained, i believe it was for a purpose, as any advanced society cannot function with STD’s and promiscuity.

    I think the mess we are in now is women are in a sexual arms race with other women. There is no patriarchy or conspiracy of men forcing women to show as much boobage as they can. Women choose to do this today. The reason I think is because most of us live anonymously in big cities. There is no village of elders shaming you into sexual propriety.

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  17. Liza207
    Aug 01, 2011 @ 20:07:08

    “I think the mess we are in now is women are in a sexual arms race with other women. There is no patriarchy or conspiracy of men forcing women to show as much boobage as they can. Women choose to do this today. The reason I think is because most of us live anonymously in big cities. There is no village of elders shaming you into sexual propriety.”

    I absolutely agree. This is exactly what is accuring today.

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  18. Superman
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 20:52:55

    Haha this is pretty funny. A woman trying to logically understand men’s behavior and needs. The two sexes are different and it’s inherent in their nature. That’s just the way it is.

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  19. Xen
    Aug 08, 2011 @ 22:55:26

    that guy sounds like the definition of an alpha. Comfortable, self possessed, funny, and entertaining.

    just because he loves his wife and is considerate of her does not make him beta. having a few beta traits does not make him beta. The alpha/beta dichotomy is not black and white, it stems from all your traits as a whole. An alpha has more alpha traits than he does beta, and a beta has more beta than alpha. It’s like a sliding scale.

    Also, its more important to be strongly alpha when attracting women than when maintaining a Ltr. While an abrupt descent into betahood can cost you a relationship (I know this from experience and only figured out what happened in retrospect) it is acceptable, and even necessary, to allow a LITTLE more beta to show through while maintaining a Ltr than you would during the early phases of a relationship. Basically, a man who can keep an attractive woman happy and entertained, and satisfied, for years at a time is alpha.

    I would be very interested to hear roissys take on the above scenario.

    PS the “she used to be a cheap date” comment is telling. Evidently this man did not devote a disproportionate amount of resources to this woman until he had determined that she was in fact worthy of a Ltr. Alpha.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 09, 2011 @ 17:00:23

      Hi XEN!!! Thanks for commenting.

      Yes this guy in *my eyes* is Alpha b/c he is compfortable with himself and love for his partner who is also reciprocating. I don’t understand where this idea came that a man being disrespectful to women, using tons of women for sex and msitreating women is alpha like behavior. i believe people get bad boys and alphas mixed up b/c they both exude some sort of masculinity (although the bad boys are exuding hyper over inflated masculinity that really serves no purpose in this world excepct screwing women).

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      • Xen
        Aug 09, 2011 @ 20:49:38

        “I don’t understand where this idea came that a man being disrespectful to women, using tons of women for sex and msitreating women is alpha like behavior”

        I think that a man acting in such a manner as you describe actually is alpha, simply because a man without a majority of alpha traits is pretty much incapable of interacting with women in this way. However, that is not to say that this is the only alpha way to interact with women, or he best. I think the true greater alpha is the man who is capable of acting in such a way, but does not. A greater alpha may sleep with a lot of women, but won’t cheat or lie, because he doesn’t have to.

        NEECY: I have decided to do away for my own personal use the labels of alpha and beta. There may be qualities that each carry similarly, but I find its too confining to place people in boxes. Now I will say there is a certain kind of man that is very comfy around and with and approaching women. One who seems to do very well with women b/c he is quite charasmatic – this may be the definition of Alpha to some, but not me. There are people in general who are simply more outgoing by nature and not shy – both men and women. Just b/c a man is shy around women doesn’t make him a beta. Are shy people in general BETA or simply could that be a natural characteristic they were born with which doesn’t make them a “loser” but just makes them different than someone who is not shy or who is more outgoing? Everyone cannot and should not strive to be the same. Alpha to me when I think about it is pretty solid and goes beyond a man’s ability to get women or sleep with women. Alphas build, create and control. They do things that matter in the long run. To me bedding women isn’t something that is changing the world or controlling anything or making a difference in the grand scheme of things.

        He leaves the women he interacts and sleeps with better off and happier for having been with him, not depressed or devastated because they feel mislead about what they could expect to receive from him in return for their companionship.

        NEECY: Here I agree that manipulative/misleading behavior is for losers and any man that is upfront about his intentions is being a real man. Women and people in general appreciate people who are not misleading and manipulative. People and like to make their own choices on whether they want to involve themselves in such arrangements.

        The fact of the matter is, in most women’s minds, and as roissy was so fond of saying, 5 minutes of alpha is worth 5 years of beta. A true alpha will leave a woman grateful for those 5 minutes, while a lesser, or “pretender” alpha will leave women feeling like they weren’t quite given what they expected, or even a little “tricked”.

        NEECY: Here is my issue with this assumption. While, yes, there are *some* women who would take 5 minutes of temporary “ALPHA” pleasure over 5 years of being with a guy with no balls “BETA”, a lot of men assume for all women its one or the other. The fact is there *ARE* women who want neither. I personally don’t find any of the two senarios worthwhile and I know plenty more women who wouldn;t either. Women are not monolithic just as men are not monolithic. There is a happy medium in most things. And some women would rather do without until they find that happy medium.

        Here’s where it gets complicated. The game community (which I applaud for their ambition, ingenuity, and dedication, even considering the fact that the techniques taught will sometimes be used by dubious men with questionable intentions) has developed several systems that are pretty much oriented around teaching men who are not naturally alpha to mimic alpha attitudes and behaviors. The power of these subtle communications, both verbal and non, is staggering, and the best part is that with some dedication and practice these techniques can be internalized to the point where one is no longer “acting” alpha but truly is alpha.

        NEECY: I’m not against anyone improving their situations whatever that be. But one really has to ask what they are trying to achieve by being “more alpha”. Is it simply to bed more women? Or is it to do things that make an overall difference in a person’s life that has meaning? Then I have to ask if all men had this mission what kind of world would we live in? Oh nvm i already see what kind of world we are living in as a result of people simply focusing on bedding people.

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      • Xen
        Aug 09, 2011 @ 21:08:45

        Damn finicky touchscreens, I wasn’t ready to submit.

        Anyway, I think that the majority of men acting in the way you described are either just naturals who are also naturally a little assholeish, or reformed betas who have seen increased success with women, but have not internalized their newfound alpha attitudes to the point where they feel truly comfortable around women. In their minds all the interest they are getting now, that they weren’t before, could vanish like smoke in the breeze if they let those attitudes slip even for a moment (which indeed it can), leading to overcompensation. You have to understand that in the mind of a man who has walked through life invisible to women, but is all of a sudden making progress he would have just recently thought impossible, the idea of reverting is actually, literally terrifying.

        NEECY: Yes i understand and I think it would do all men some good to learn how to mingle and socialize with women. Heck, people in general – sicne we live in a social world. And I can agree there are things that one can and sometimes should do to be more outgoing , less shy and introverted. But people are this way for a reason. Its like a balance in the universe. everyone cannot be outgoing Alphas who bed lots of women.

        To make an analogy, imagine, as a woman, that you have gone through your entire life ugly. Not just unattractive, but downright ugly. Like the “you can’t afford me” chick or cigstach. You’re a sweet, wonderful, intelligent girl who has unfortunately had to resign herself to life as a 2 at best. Then one day you discover a few simple makeup or workout or whatever tips that almost overnight, almost like magic, transform you into an 8. Men are looking, smiling, and interested. Never in your life have you imagined being this successful with the opposite sex. Can you imagine how scary the thought of going back would be?

        NEECY: It depends on the woman. Despite popular belief on game blogs most women in the world are not 8’s or higher LOL. Most women are average (average in the game world means ugly), so let’s put it in perspective here. MOST women can and do often do things to make themselves more attractive and to push them a little above the average mark. But only a small minority of women fit the 8-10 range worldwide. I guess it also depends on how one defines beauty. SO there is really no loss or fear of “going back” for the AVERAGE woman (who is the majority) unless she stops wearing make up, or keeping her weight down, or dressing feminine. Most men have no choice but to be with average women b/c that is simply what most women are. Although the desire for men in general is always for some extrodinarily beautiful woman, that is rare and only happens to a small percentage of males. This is my prob with the game blogs. They are simply telling men to focus on a small percentage of “hot” women. If all men did this I guarantee you most men will be single for life and unlaid. LOL. So I guess what i am saying is, for a woman to improve her looks aethetically all she needs to do is make a few small tweaks (unless she is outright hideious which is also rare too) to be attractive to most males. There really is no “going back” for most women unless like I say they are truly hideoous and had to have major work done to keep and maintain their new found beauty.

        I think this is why the trend of taking game to assholeish (and not just asshole game,

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      • Xen
        Aug 09, 2011 @ 21:17:01

        I think this is the reason taking game to assholeish levels (not just asshole game, which when used properly is probably is better classified as cocky/funny) is becoming more prevalent. It’s an unconscious overcompensation, as well as a safety mechanism. I think women have known even longer than men that is usually easier to hurt than be hurt, sad though that is.

        NEECY: I really only believe that men will and can only have success with this kind of behavior with certain segments of women. Not all women fall for or go for this type of behavior. I certianly don’t do the jerky, negging, assholery schtick. And the women who I do see falling over themselves for guys like this are honestly usually low caliber or have deep underlying insecurity issues (no matter how attractive they are). I have very conventionally attractive friends/co workers that I know well that would walk off quickly at the first sign of a coky dude, asshole or some guy trying to neg them. I have also seen very attractive women I don’t know talk down about certain guys like this with disdain. I think men who focus on certain kinds of women start believing all women are monolithic and alike.

        PS an edit comment function would be wonderful. My large, manly fingers have a tendency to hit submit instead of w and e on this touchscreen apparently.

        NEECY: I am not sure if that is an option. I am so website illiterate LOL. I will look around under admin options to see if that’s an option. 🙂

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      • Xen
        Aug 09, 2011 @ 21:30:12

        PPS while I was crafting that 3 chapter manuscript above I completely forgot to mention Steve P. Not sure what his last name is, but to find him Google White Tiger Tantra. This guy is alpha in every sense of the word. He’s amazing. He maintains multiple open relationships through pure force of personality, openness, and honesty. His exes will bring him their new boyfriends so he can teach them how to make her orgasm like he did. He is a master, and not an asshole at all. Obviously I’ve never actually met him, just been exposed to his teachings through my research into the game community, but if I could choose one person to be my personal game mentor it would be Steve P hands down.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 10, 2011 @ 13:09:42

        “His exes will bring him their new boyfriends so he can teach them how to make her orgasm like he did.”

        *shocked face* Their b/f’s actually go for this? I cannot imagine a man wanting to be introduced and taught by his love’s ex on how to make her orgasm. Wouldn’t that qualify as “beta” behavior on the b/f’s part?

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      • Xen
        Aug 10, 2011 @ 14:48:46

        Hi again neecy.

        Firstly, I must point out that the alpha/beta is more or less used in the game world to distinguish between two sets of behavior, one that is generally more successful with women, and one that is generally less successful. There are no concrete “definition” of either. I can certainly understand why one would shy away from the terminology, but it is quite useful within the context of discussing game nonetheless. the traditional definition of an alpha as “top dog” is less relevant in modern society, as we no longer exist within small 50ish person tribes.

        NEECY: For purposes of trying to simply distinguish a basic behavior then i can agree that working with Alpha/Beta titles is helpful. i just feel once we start applying strict characteristics on each profile, you take the human aspect out and the aspect that some males may have overlapping traits of both etc.

        I also want to point out that the 5 mins vs 5 years idea does not have to refer just to sex, but any and all interactions. And yes there is always the odd duck, however, I still think its safe to say that in general women will respond more positively to alpha behavior than beta.

        NEECY: What *KIND* of behavior is this? Many people still have very different views about alpha and beta traits. On Roisy Alphas tend to be on the hypermasculine asshole, bad boy side and jerk side. I believe there are a certain caliber of women who desire jerky males. For some others Alphas have other stand up masculine qualities (that don’t revolve around being jerks, sleeping with all kinds of women) and yes women desire that. This is why i throw the lables out. I list the qualities I love in a man – sometimes those qualities overlap between beta and alpha (more like a happy medium of both). A lot of women also have the same ideas.

        you said “alphas build, create, and control” this I disagree with. historically it has been the guys not getting laid who have done the most building and creating. In fact, every modern comfort we have can be attributed to industrious betas. Roissy himself has pointed out that if every man was to act as he does our civilization would crumble quite quickly. There is not, and never was, anything inherently wrong with being beta. Unfortunately, certain aspects of and beliefs commonly held in our modern society are making it harder and harder for a beta to meet, attract, and keep a woman. Widespread acceptance of casual sex and the extreme power women hold over men in the divorce arena being two of the most relevant to this discussion. I myself will never be getting married as long as our current situation prevails, as it just makes no sense to give that much power over me to someone who is statistically just as likely to eventually leave me as stay. It may seem cold to consider the statistics in relation to someone you love and care for, but the probability is too significant to ignore. Unfortunately, if a man in modern America wants to get consistently laid but doesn’t want to risk marriage, he is almost required to move from woman to woman, as the pedistalized entitlement princesses that abound today cannot or will not understand the perfectly logical reasons a man might be reluctant to get married.

        NEECY: This is understandable. Also from a woman’s point of view in the current climate where men completely start believing all women are monolithic and want losers and assholes and cheasters as husbands, its safe to say marriage today for women isn’t so great either – especially the good wives who do their part and get left by or cheated on by their husbands at times in her life where she is past her prime, have children and are out of the dating and job desirability sectors b/c of her age. This is why i have plainly accpeted and come to terms with the fact that I can still enjoy my life and fulfill it in other ways that I used to believe marraige and children would. However, we will pay the consequences as a society with less marriages.

        In the 2 to 8 analogy I used, I am quite aware that its an impossible scenario for women. It just can’t happen. I used the example because it CAN happen for a man. A man can move up the scale like that because women are less attracted to looks and more attracted to status. it might seem unfair, but there it is.

        NEECY: I can accpet that, but it also seems many men do not want to accept that many women (who still have her attractiveness) can still get sex later in her years with younger guys. Why men simply won’t admit and accpet that is beyond me.

        I also have to disagree with your ratings of women. in my eyes, among the women I observe who are not fat, generally more are attractive than unattractive. I’m not saying they are all 8s or better, but that in general women are attractive.

        NEECY: It may be from what i am seeing that today any non fat/overweight woman is automatically considered high on the scale b/c of so many fat women in the USA. SO if we are basing it mostly on weight, then yes a thinner woman no matter her face will be automatically placed high on the attractiveness scale. makes sense. But that still proves my point. Even an average woman who has a nice non fat body can still be above average today even if she really isn’t that attractive. When i say small percentage I was talking about REAL beauties (like the ones you see in a Victoria’s Secret catalogs). They are a small percentage of women in terms of supreme looks. but yes an average woman who remains fit & who puts in effort towards her looks can be hot by most mens standards.

        I have some more thoughts but gotta get ready for work. ill try to keep them in my head so I can come back later and share. Also, props Neecy for even being willing to discuss these topics.

        LOOKING FORWARD!! And thanks for contributing 🙂

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  20. Neecy
    Aug 10, 2011 @ 12:21:30

    XEN Im going to comment within your posts to respond directly to some of your thoughts.

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  21. Zorro
    Aug 10, 2011 @ 15:04:56

    @Xen: I would rather put a pistol in my mouth than get married.

    For men, there is no upside to marriage. Only preposterous financial risk.

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  22. Xen
    Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:10:07

    I just saw your argument with crumpetess over at the chateau Neecy. Lol! I seriously respect that you are willing to calmly consider the facts and change your opinions in the face of overwhelming evidence. Are you sure you’re not a man? I kid, I kid. You don’t know (or maybe you do, I could feel the frustration in your posts as crumpetess repeatedly ignored the same point over and over) how rare those traits can be in women. The hamper is weak in you, and that is a very, very good thing. Congrats for not drinking the koolaid.

    @ zorro: preach it brother! I narrowly dodged that bullet about a year ago. Somewhere deep inside I knew that getting married was a horrible idea, but I really loved that girl and I wanted to make her happy. The only thing that saved me was my refusal to spend money we didn’t have on a ceremony. Since apparently she “deserved” the storybook fantasy wedding every widdle American princess dreams of, it didn’t happen. Thank god. Needless to say, the relationship ended soon after. For a while I was devastated and thought I had lost everything I had worked 7 years to build, but thanks to an accidental exposure to roissy and through him the game community, I have come to realize that in reality I won. I am working hard to increase my status and improve my attitude now, and my SMV has just started its late 20s upswing, while she is stuck in an ever more competitive market and her SMV has just started its late 20s decline. I would have stayed with that girl, and been happy to, but thanks to her refusal to face reality and the fact that she will have a much harder time trading up than I will, I have been handed my prime years back on a golden platter, while hers will forever be filled with memories of me. Senseless really, but I can’t complain.

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    • Maya
      Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:25:52

      So why exactly did you end the relationship with your late 20s girlfriend?

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    • Maya
      Aug 10, 2011 @ 22:30:14

      “I would have stayed with that girl, and been happy to, but thanks to her refusal to face reality and the fact that she will have a much harder time trading up than I will …”

      Just because she couldn’t face the reality that she’s somewhat “worse” than you are?

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    • Neecy
      Aug 11, 2011 @ 00:15:31

      XEN,

      OMG I have no words! She could have saved everyone a lot of bandwidth if she has just gone on there and said “yes H is right most women are like me. i am currently screwing a guy who is a jerk, and i eventually hope to settle down with a guy who has better qualities than the one I am with. but that’s not happening so I am doing what Heartiste says a lot of women are doing, and sleeping with a bad boy jerk” and left it at that.

      All that I am just using him to pass time is a bunch of bullSHEET that I have heard a lot of used women say when they know they are simply a piece of ass to a guy who is using them. Deep down they stick around with the jerk thinking he will suddenly smarten up and committ and he never does. By the time a guy with those supposed “good qualities” comes along, they are so mentally and physically burned and scorned that they can’t even recognize how to have a relationship with a decent guy.

      I feel like the last soldier standing in a battle/war already lost trying to shoot fire at the standing opposing army. LOL. I’m giving up and just worrying about myself and the 1 or 2 other women in the world who just refuse to travel that path ….. I need a clear head, clean body so that when a decent man comes my way I wouldn’t know any other kind of relationship to be in. I don’t have to UNLEARN or UN ADDICT myself from any bad habits I picked up from dating jerks.

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      • Xen
        Aug 11, 2011 @ 00:50:56

        Neecy, that last paragraph warmed my heart. It is now only 2 sizes too small. If the rising popularity of game effects a similar change in the mindset of just a tiny percentage of women, then it will have accomplished more good in the world than I (or any student of game) ever thought possible. We get into the game to get laid, but it turns out we are accidentally fixing what we thought feminism had broken beyond repair. PUAs are on the front lines effecting social reform with their libido!

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      • Liza207
        Aug 11, 2011 @ 01:23:11

        I feel like the last soldier standing in a battle/war already lost trying to shoot fire at the standing opposing army. LOL. I’m giving up and just worrying about myself and the 1 or 2 other women in the world who just refuse to travel that path ….. I need a clear head, clean body so that when a decent man comes my way I wouldn’t know any other kind of relationship to be in. I don’t have to UNLEARN or UN ADDICT myself from any bad habits I picked up from dating jerks.

        Amen.

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