What is a Feminine Woman?
Is she one who competes with men? Is she one that sees herself as an island of her own? Is she one who views or doesn’t view her sexuality narrowly? I guess this is a broad question that will create many different responses from each individual. But in today’s climate of extreme feminism gone overboard (LIZA thanks for the name) AND misogyny and the push/pull between the desinigrating traditional woman and growth of the
modernized MASCULINIZED woman and what it is women are meant to be, supposed to be, want to be, or like to be, I guess it leaves that question open for each woman and man to define themselves.
Femininity to me is all about a woman knowing her power, how she differentiates from men, and how to use those differences for her own good and the good to have balanced relationships with men. As a result there are some actions a woman must take daily to ensure she is upholding her femininity to the highest standard to garner the best results for herself and women in general.
Here are some questions that possibly determine how a woman views her sexuality and womanhood:
– What is it as a woman that makes her a woman and makes her feminine? Is it simply physical, mental or both.
– How do you view womanhood in general? Do you see it as inferior or superior to the opposite gender?
– Do you feel that women have a specific role on earth? Is having a role a good or bad thing.
– Do you feel that women are naturally more physically enticing than males for biological reasons or is that something created by the dominant group on earth for their own pleasure (men)?
– Do you view women and men as polar opposites or the same but with different genetalia and physical make up?
– Do you believe men and women are here to serve the same purpose or play different roles towards one purpose?
– DO you feel a woman and the definition that goes along with it is solely an individual endeavor that should not have definitions?
– DO you see the mission as a woman as one that is here to compliment the polar opposite male?
– Does religion drive your thoughts and definitions on womanhood?
All those questions and many more need to be assessed and addressed honestly by every woman if she wants to truly understand how she plans to maneuver successfully within this world and society as a female.
I have for the last 3 years or so been staunchly focused on femininity and how I as a woman can be more feminine – by my OWN definitions/standards and my views on the biological differences between men and women. My own personal view is women and men are polar opposites for a reason. Yes I believe there are key roles each gender is placed on earth to fulfill. Yes I believe those different roles are to be used in conjunction to reach one common goal.
The general human traits that go evenly across the board is not enough for me to say that men and women are the same (as some feminists suggest). Yeah we all bleed, need food, water, air, have emotions, feelings etc. But at the end of the day men and women have distinct differences that cannot be denied or placed in little boxes.
The struggle for me has been defining that womanhood and working to achieve that in a society/world where feminine women (especially BLACK) are ridiculed and looked down upon for wanting to embrace what they believe is womanhood and one that doesn’t revolve around masculinity . Feminine women are seen as weak and male identified b/c they choose to use their femininity to balance male desire and her needs as a woman. I have found the complete opposite to be true. I find when I am MOST feminine acting and looking, I get better responses from men in general. Men also tend to want to protect feminine women and engage them. In a male dominated world, women need protection. So femininity to me means not taking a narrow approach to my womanhood as simply being all about me. That is a problem for many extreme feminists and even misogynists who tend to use their hatred of women (and feminists who hate feminine acting women) as a way to walk over and abuse feminine women.
I have myself been Trying to wash out the ideals that have been placed inside my head as a BLACK woman who has grown up in America and been involuntarily marked with conflicting definitions of womanhood based on everyone else’s ideals: feminist principles, larger societies ideals, as well sub cultural/sub racial principles. In addition, understanding femininity and the male response and why *IT IS* important on a larger scale.
At some point every woman has to be confident in her skin as a woman and by making the choices that best benefit her and her life. But when women are only given half the story, thus causing MOST women to simply do things against her own bests interests as a woman and for women in general, it will eventually cause a landslide for all women.
Too many women today are walking “DEFINITIONS” of what a woman is supposed to be, yet not really understanding womanhood (and masculinity) on a biological level (in contrast to males) and the positives and pitfalls of such if choosing the wrong path to her womanhood. A lot of women know shit is wrong and not right, but don’t want to acknowledge it. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate feminism on a different front. Without some sort of feminism, women would have very little rights, not be able to make independent choices, or have the ability to choose careers among other things. There is a need for feminism and female protection. I’m just not so sure if today we are going about it the right way? This is where I am conflicted. It seems we have gone way beyond feminism and rights for women to extreme feminism that solely seeks to compete with men on all levels. And I think that is more damaging to a woman than anything.
What do I mean?
Today one of the many ways women are encouraged to be and feel empowered is through sex and her body. There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex or recognizing the power she has with her body and over her body. The problem is most extreme feminists who adopt this standard aren’t really telling women the bottom line; that a woman’s body and sexuality is the EASIEST way to get simple fickle male attention. Its no secret women have what the most powerful group on this earth wants – VAGINA. And that group is? – MALES. yes there is POWER in being a woman even when women are NOT necessarily in control. Not too many women seem to grasp this. They see power as a tactical mission that can only be defined by & through the taking down of male rule and patriarchy.
Yes. Men control things on a tactical level worldwide possibly for a reason. Just as women control things on a social/physical non tactical level for reasons. When women socially start developing normal male traits and ways of doing, that changes the whole structure of society and how men respond to women. With EXTREME feminism, they are only willing to acknowledge the tactile power males have and not the true power women have and how to use that to compliment the male power. Men NEED women. They WANT women. Women with brain matter understand this and understand how to use their power as women to keep the scales balanced for herself as a woman to get what she needs and to also compliment her better half (men). Keep in mind when I am talking about men and power I am not including the effeminate males and the misogynists (that’s a whole other topic I plan to tackle after this one).
So the end result is, you have women who don’t understand true FEMALE power, how it differentiates from male strength and power, and how to use it to her advantage and to keep the scales balanced. Women need men as well. When women start competing against males, then Houston we have a problem. Males are competitive by nature. They will suddenly start adapting to a competitive climate with women where they will be self focused. This is a problem for women who want and desire male protection, emotional connection, affection and compassion and most of all COMMITTMENT.
Once we start playing see/saw with men, then we are only stripping away our power as women b/c now we are fighting against male strength and power and completely tossing ours away. That keeps women off track and off focus on how to be a woman that gets what she needs and wants from the powerful group on earth. If you like me, believe in biological differences between the male and female, the see saw itself will more than likely skew towards males b/c they are physically stronger and are completely self focused/driven by nature and also run most of planet earth.
In order for this world to run as it is, Men have to be somewhat self focused and competitive. Smart powerful women understand this and don’t want to try to compete for that power but will use her power as a woman to bring out another side of the male that wouldn’t come naturally to him. Men have to be taught and trained to see women beyond our physical and to be somewhat compassionate towards women in general. They are driven by their hormones and intense sex drives – PERIOD. I believe in an uncivilized society/world women would be nothing more than sexual quests for the average male. Men would find and gather up as many women as he can to sleep with and impregnate without commitment. There would be no marriages, no communities or healthy family structures for children. So why today in America are we acting like a 3rd world country when it comes to sex and relationships? b/C women have adopted a masculinized way of seeing sex and relationships. Men are also at fault but in a different way (I will cover this in my next post). Women don’t realize the extreme power we have in molding male behavior. Simply b/c of their dire need for female sex they will do anything to get it. They will go with the flow of whatever women have set up for them as men to have access to the vagina.
Am I saying men are basically one step above animals? YES LOL. But humans have a capacity to evolve if they allow themselves to. And yes men have to be evolved beyond their d!cks to see women as companions with other qualities than our vaginas, boobs and other sexual organs. SO this is where female power come sin on a non tactical level. We don’t need to run the world and compete with men to be powerful. We can use what men need and wants as a way to get what we need and want and to keep the world functioning on a healthy balanced dial.
This brings me back to the sexual practices of women. once you tell a woman that sex is empowering what do you believe will happen? Women will without question en masse start having NSA sex as a way to feel connected and empowered over her body as well as to connect to men on a simple fickle level. No one tells women today, that by taking on a masculine approach to sex they are offering themselves a free ride on the slippery slope to dead end land. Women today are only getting half the story. When women are being told how empowering it is to develop masculine traits in the sexual arena is that not competing with men? And what kind of results do you think this will garner for women overall – competing with men? Look around you, the tell tale signs are in our face.
The most tragic thing a woman can do, is throw away her power by appealing to the lowest common denominator to gain male attention/affection – that is SEX. Men will follow women’s lead to get sex. If women want commitments from men, then women will demand this by using sex as that barter for commitment. Is that wrong? Not at all! In societies where women withheld their sexuality for commitment, there were less sexual diseases, better family structures, healthier more stable children and communities. In societies where women freely and unconsciously have NSA sex, there are higher disease rates, more single home families, downtrodden communities wrought with crazy ass boys without male authority and figures in the home, mentally unstable women and girls, more misogynists. Etc.
Marinate and discuss 🙂