How does one define FEMININITY?

What is a Feminine Woman?

 Is she one who competes with men? Is she one that sees herself as an island of her own? Is  she one who views or doesn’t view her sexuality narrowly?  I guess this is a broad question that will create many different responses from each individual. But in today’s climate of extreme  feminism gone overboard (LIZA thanks for the name) AND  misogyny and the push/pull between the desinigrating traditional woman and growth of the modernized  MASCULINIZED woman and what it is women are meant to be, supposed to be,  want to be, or like to be,  I guess it leaves that question open for each woman and man to define themselves.

 Femininity to me is all about a woman knowing her power, how she differentiates from men, and how to use those differences for  her own good and the good to have balanced relationships with men.  As a result there are some actions a woman must take daily to ensure she is upholding her femininity to the highest standard to garner the best results for herself and women in general.

 

Here are some questions that possibly determine how a woman views her sexuality and womanhood:

–  What is it as a woman that makes her a woman and makes her feminine?  Is it simply physical, mental or both.

–   How do you view womanhood in general?  Do you see it as inferior or superior to the opposite gender?

–  Do you feel that women have a specific role on earth?  Is having a role a good or bad thing.

–  Do you feel that women are naturally more physically enticing than males for biological reasons or is that something created by the dominant group on earth for their own pleasure (men)?  

–  Do you view women and men as polar opposites or the same but with different genetalia and physical make up?

–   Do you believe men and women are here to serve the same purpose or play different roles towards one purpose?

–  DO you feel a woman and the definition that goes along with it is solely an individual endeavor that should not have definitions?

–   DO you see the  mission as a woman as one that is here to compliment the polar opposite male?  

–   Does religion drive your thoughts and definitions on womanhood?

 All those questions and many more need to be assessed and addressed honestly by every woman if she wants to truly understand how she plans to maneuver successfully within this world and society as a female.

 I have for the last 3 years or so been staunchly focused on femininity and how I as a woman can be more feminine – by my OWN definitions/standards and my views on the biological differences between men and women.  My own personal view is women and men are polar opposites for a reason.  Yes I believe there are key roles each gender is placed on earth to fulfill. Yes I believe those different roles are to be used in conjunction to reach one common goal.

The general human traits that go evenly across the board  is not enough for me to say that men and women are the same (as some feminists suggest).  Yeah we all bleed, need food, water, air, have emotions, feelings etc. But at the end of the day men and women have distinct differences that cannot be denied or placed in little boxes.

 The struggle for me has been defining that womanhood and working to achieve that in a society/world where feminine women (especially BLACK) are ridiculed and looked down upon for wanting to embrace what they believe is womanhood and one that doesn’t revolve around masculinity .  Feminine women are seen as weak and male identified b/c they choose to use their femininity to balance male desire and her needs as a woman.  I have found the complete opposite to be true. I find when I am MOST feminine acting and looking, I get better responses from men in general. Men also tend to want to protect feminine women and engage them. In a male dominated world, women need protection. So femininity to me means not taking a narrow approach to my womanhood as simply being all about me.  That is a problem for many extreme feminists and even misogynists who tend to use their hatred of women (and feminists who hate feminine acting women) as a way to walk over and abuse feminine women.

 I have myself been Trying to wash out the ideals that have been placed inside my head as a BLACK woman who has grown up in America and been involuntarily marked with conflicting definitions of  womanhood based on  everyone else’s ideals: feminist principles, larger societies ideals,  as well  sub cultural/sub racial principles. In addition, understanding femininity and the male response and why *IT IS* important on a larger scale.

 At some point every woman has to be  confident in her skin as a woman and by making the choices that best benefit her and her life.  But when women are only given half the story, thus causing MOST women to simply do things against her own bests interests as a woman and for women in general, it will eventually cause a landslide for all women.

 Too many women today are walking “DEFINITIONS”  of what a woman is supposed to be, yet not really understanding womanhood (and masculinity) on a biological level (in contrast to males)  and the positives and pitfalls of such if choosing the wrong path to her womanhood.  A lot of women know shit is wrong and not right, but don’t want to acknowledge it. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate feminism on a different front. Without some sort of feminism, women would have very little rights, not be able to make independent choices, or have the ability to choose careers among other things. There is a need for feminism and female protection. I’m just not so sure if today we are going about it the right way? This is where I am conflicted.  It seems we have gone way beyond feminism and rights for women to extreme feminism that solely seeks to compete with men on all levels. And I think that is more damaging to a woman than anything.

 

What do I mean?

 

Today one of the many ways  women are encouraged to be and feel empowered is through sex and her body.  There is nothing wrong with a woman having sex or recognizing the power she has with her body and over her body. The problem is most extreme feminists who adopt this standard aren’t  really telling women the bottom line;  that a woman’s body and sexuality is the EASIEST way to get simple fickle male attention.  Its no secret women have what the most powerful group on this earth wants – VAGINA.  And that group is? – MALES. yes there is POWER in being a woman even when women are NOT necessarily in control. Not too many women seem to grasp this. They see power as a tactical mission that can only be defined by & through  the taking down of male rule and patriarchy.  

 

Yes. Men control things on a tactical level worldwide possibly for a reason. Just as women control things on a social/physical non tactical level for reasons. When women socially start developing normal male traits and ways of doing, that changes the whole structure of society and how men respond to women. With EXTREME feminism, they are only willing to acknowledge the tactile power males have and not the true power women have and how to use that to compliment the male power. Men NEED women. They WANT women. Women with brain matter understand this and understand how to use their power as women to keep the scales balanced for herself as a woman to get what she needs and to also compliment her better half (men). Keep in mind when I am talking about men and power I am not including the effeminate males and the misogynists  (that’s a whole other topic I plan to tackle after this one).

 

So the end result is, you have women who don’t understand true FEMALE power, how it differentiates from male strength and power,  and how to use it to her advantage and to keep the scales balanced. Women need men as well. When women start competing against males, then Houston we have a problem.  Males are competitive by nature. They will suddenly start adapting to a competitive climate with women where they will be self focused. This is a problem for women who want and desire male protection, emotional connection, affection and compassion and most of all COMMITTMENT.

Once we start playing see/saw  with men, then we are only stripping away our power as women b/c now we are fighting against male strength and power and completely tossing ours away. That keeps women off track and off focus on how to be a woman that gets what she needs and wants from the powerful group on earth. If you like me, believe in biological differences between the male and female, the see saw itself will more than likely skew towards males b/c they are physically stronger and are completely self focused/driven by nature and also run most of planet earth.  

In order for this world to run as it is, Men have to be somewhat self focused and competitive. Smart powerful women understand this and don’t want to try to compete for that power but will use her power as a woman to bring out another side of the male that wouldn’t come naturally to him. Men have to be taught and trained to see women beyond our physical and to be somewhat compassionate towards women in general. They are driven by  their hormones and intense sex drives – PERIOD.  I believe in an uncivilized society/world women would be nothing more than sexual quests for the average male. Men would find and gather up as many women as he can to sleep with and impregnate without commitment. There would be no marriages, no communities or healthy family structures for children. So why today in America are we acting like a 3rd world country when it comes to sex and relationships? b/C women have adopted a masculinized way of seeing sex and relationships. Men are also at fault but in a different way (I will cover this in my next post). Women don’t realize the extreme power we have in molding male behavior. Simply b/c of their dire need for female sex they will do anything to get it. They will go with the flow of whatever women have set up for them as men to have access to the vagina.

Am I saying  men  are basically one step above animals? YES LOL. But humans have a capacity to evolve if they allow themselves to. And yes men have to be evolved beyond their d!cks to see women as companions with other qualities than our vaginas, boobs and other sexual organs. SO this is where female power come sin on a non tactical level. We don’t need to run the world and compete with men to be powerful. We can use what men need and wants as a way to get what we need and want and to keep the world functioning on a healthy balanced dial.

This brings me back to   the sexual practices of women.  once you tell a woman that sex is empowering what do you believe will happen? Women will without question en masse start having NSA sex as a way to feel connected and empowered over her body as well as to connect to men on a simple fickle level. No one tells women today, that by taking on a  masculine approach to sex they are offering themselves a free ride on the slippery slope to dead end land. Women today are only getting half the story. When women are being told how empowering it is to develop masculine traits in the sexual arena is that not competing with men? And what kind of results do you think this will garner for women overall – competing with men?   Look around you, the tell tale signs are in our face.

The most tragic thing a woman can do, is throw away her power by appealing to the lowest common denominator to gain male attention/affection – that is SEX. Men will follow women’s lead to get sex. If women want commitments from men, then women will demand this by using sex as that barter for commitment. Is that wrong? Not at all! In societies where women withheld their sexuality for commitment, there were less sexual diseases, better family structures, healthier more stable children and communities. In societies where women freely and unconsciously have NSA sex, there are higher disease rates, more single home families, downtrodden communities wrought with crazy ass boys without male authority and figures in the home,  mentally unstable women and girls, more misogynists. Etc.

Marinate and discuss 🙂

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92 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liza207
    Aug 05, 2011 @ 19:40:02

    *CHEERING MY ASS OFF*

    Neecy, a slam donk on this one! This a subject that has been really troubling me of late. The subject of EXTREME FEMINISM (I might just TM this, LOL!). You did a really great jog of breaking it all down. Yes, women in America have lost their feminity and their way as well. Feminism has afforded us many great opportunities. We wanted to have the opportunity to own our own property; carve out any career path we chose; we can even start an empire; run for office –we wanted out of our tiny little boxes–mission accomplished! Obviously, all of this isn’t quite enough for us. We want to be man, too. We want to fuck like them, dress like them in cases, compete with them in the boardroom and in the bedroom. It just has to be exhausting being an extreme feminist. When do you get the time to just relax and be a woman. Really?

    On giving up our power, hell yes, we had and we are paying the price; low marriage rates, single motherhood (This life sucks! Just ask my youngest sister.) and STD’s. This is really empowering, isn’t it? Neecy, if women don’t regain their feminity and stop battling men our society will be in complete STAMBLES. If anyone in mainstream society wants to see where they are headed please study the black community and that will give everyone a clear forecast of the future for them. I have even heard men on the manosphere referring to the BC as progressive because of the low marriage rates. Are-they-fucking-kidding-me?!

    I have always known my worth as woman and respect my womanhood (know what I’m saying). I have also always thought that if I gave my body to a man that didn’t respect me or wasn’t committed to me that I would be giving away MY POWER to him not the our way around.There is not empowerment in giving away your power. Does that make any damn sense? How does giving away power–empower you. How?! Like you said, that’s our power –our true power, in my opinion. But extreme feminism has robbed us of that power with lies and misguided intentions.

    I think this blog should start a movement — THE MOVEMENT BACK TO FEMININITY.

    Neecy, there is a wonderful blog owned by Susan Walsh: http://www.hookingupsmart.com/. On this blog she addresses a lot of the issues facing young college womenin (but it’s wonderful for older as well–a must read) the SMP. Please, read it and let my know what you think–you will like it.

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    • Maya
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 21:23:50

      Hookingupsmart is an amazing blog! I’m so happy I’ve found it …

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    • Neecy
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 21:42:35

      LIZA,

      Yes it sos true! How is giving away your power empowerment? It seems no one has addressed that. And you are right, if larger society wants to see what happens when all values, morals get tossed out the window and the embracing of free sex with anyone, having multiple kids with any man, non committed relationships and basically not having stable family structure – look no further than the American Black community. Its right before people’s eyes. I don’t think larger society really believes they are headed that way. But we are.

      Yes i want this blog to be for women and men who want to embrace femininity once again. I am not ungrateful to feminists for helping women get rights, jobs and independance, but they have managed to strip us of our true feminine power in other ways – and mother rnature doesn’t like that!

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      • Liza207
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 16:54:19

        Yeah, things are really out of whack in respects to the male/female dynamics and like you said, mother nature is making us pay.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 21:43:32

      Oh and thx for the link to the hookingupsmart site. I’ll read it for sure…

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    • zorro
      Aug 06, 2011 @ 03:27:40

      “We wanted to have the opportunity to own our own property…”

      Women not having the legal right to own property is one of the most retarded feminist canards in history. Women were never denied the legal right to own property in the entire existence of this country.
      Women owned cotton plantations pre-civil war.
      Women owned cattle ranches in the old West.
      Women frequently inherited corporations, land and business due to sons being killed in wars. Inheritance of businesses was the most common way women entered the upper echelons of commerce. You don’t think families were going to allow the gov’t to take their entire wealth if there were sons, do you?

      It’s one more piece of evidence to demonstrate what fucking LIARS feminists are.

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  2. Matt
    Aug 05, 2011 @ 19:45:33

    Neecy,

    Men are not one step above animals. We are the providers, protectors and leaders of people. We may have a desire (at times an overwhelming desire) to have sex, but that isn’t all we are.

    Being male means creating and providing in the physical world. It means starting from scratch and planting the seeds necessary to create something new. This behaviour has been going on since men first discovered fire. Men developed mathematics, science, engineering, language, literature, etc. all so that the world would be improved for others. This is why men tend towards jobs with a tangible result (welding, construction, mechanics, engineering, doctors, etc).

    The benefit of this type of male behaviour is that men will, by their very nature, be consistently working to build. What they build differs depending on the specific man, but a man will always be producing something. It’s one reason why we are so defined by our job. The danger of this type of male behaviour is that a man will look to create by many different women. To put it crudely, one woman isn’t enough. The challenge for a woman is to ensure that her man doesn’t feel the need to do that.

    Which brings up another point. Men will only tolerate so much from women before leaving. That threshold can be quite high, but it is there. Saying “they will go with the flow of whatever women have setup for them as men to have access to the vagina” is flat wrong. That sounds suspiciously like treating men as servants. The men that do allow that to happen are contemptible. The women that attempt that are not worth it since they are playing at the worst manipulation possible. Speaking from experience, I will dump any woman that tries that. A woman attempting to manipulate a man by controlling his access to sex is offensive and the height of female arrogance. If I am providing a life for myself, my wife and my family, getting sex at reasonable intervals isn’t to much to ask.

    Again, men are the providers, protectors and leaders of people. It’s what we are designed for. It’s what we do by nature. It’s instinctual to us. We have created almost everything you see in the modern world and throughout history. The male intellect runs through history like a river. Saying we are a step above animals, only interested in sex, trivializes us.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 22:16:42

      Hi Matt,
      Thanks for responding.

      I’m sorry you have misinterpreted the things I have written or maybe I was not very clear. To address your some of your points:

      ““Saying “they will go with the flow of whatever women have setup for them as men to have access to the vagina” is flat wrong. That sounds suspiciously like treating men as servants.”

      You have completely misinterpreted my whole post matt.

      Look at our society today compared to the past. Simply put, women are gatekeepers of sex while men are gatekeepers of commitment. Both parties use things to their advantage to protect their best interests. Women are not protecting their best interests by just sleeping around with all kinds of men without having received some sort of sign that he is not simply out to use her for sex and also the possiblity of commitment of some sort from him. Men are not (and should not) commit to or marry a slutty loose women, or women with issues either. These are basic general reciprocating ideals and concepts that both men and women use to their benefit and advantage in the mating arena.

      When women are freely providing sex to random men they are not in relationships with (i.e. men are getting sex from women without commitment) then it will cause men to adjust and act accordingly. THUS, why so many men today have very little incentive to enter into ltr’s or marriage. They don’t need to! Why buy the cow when the milk is free? No man needs to commit to receive sex from a woman anymore. You may find this opinion controversial or untrue but my whole belief on why men even commit in LTR’s or marriages Is mainly to have someone they can consistently have free access to sex with, without having to go out and hunt for it. Of course the wanting to create a family and legacy is also another driving factor for male commitment and marriage. So I am not saying there are no other reasons why men don’t commit to relationships, but I believe that yes, men are primarily driven by lust when it comes to females. When in marriages and relationships they are most likely getting his needs of release fulfilled by someone he doesn’t have to “game” or work to get. He already has her.

      In the past men could not just readily get sex from women unless they were willing to commit to and marry a woman. That is why women held onto their virginity. That happened b/c women overall maintained chasteness for the right male. This is not a game its survival for both men and women. When women do not maintain the tight reigns on sex in society, stable family structures, communities and the mental health of children fall apart. There are communties today who have proven this.

      You are SO WRONG suggesting that I am trying to manipulate and trivialize males. HUH? Do you think the game blogs are doing this to women? Trivializing women? And if so, why are you on them if its so wrong.

      I’m calling it as i see it. Men are driven by sex and will do most things to get it from women. Isn’t that why the Game blogs exist? So that men can get their needs fulfilled by women sexually? They are literally teaching men how women think so that they can gain access to women physically. It doesn’t take game to commit to a woman since most women would love nothing more to be with a man she adores and is attracted to. However, it does take game to get access to women physically bc most women understand that on going need for sex for men is CONSTANT and that they will always be seeking it by whatever means necessary.

      I have had male commenters on here point out that men will follow women’s leads to get what they need and want from women. If women lower the bar for men to get sex, men will follow that route. If women raise the bar for men to get sex, men will follow that lead. The same applies to males. If men lower the bar for committing to any woman then women will do whatever it takes to get that commitment. If males raised the bar for what it takes for women in general to get the commitments and marriage they desire, then women will adjust and follow accordingly.

      I’m not seeing how what I wrote is negative towards men.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 22:26:57

      “A woman attempting to manipulate a man by controlling his access to sex is offensive and the height of female arrogance. If I am providing a life for myself, my wife and my family, getting sex at reasonable intervals isn’t to much to ask.”

      HUH? have you even read what I posted. You are going way out of left field. Who said anythig about a woman witholding sex from her husband or a man whom she is in a committed relationship with?

      Also, do you think women should freely have sex with any man? Do you think women should maintain some sort of chasteness for her own best interests? Do you think its wrong for a woman to withhold sex from a man she is not in a relaitonship with? THAT is what i am getting at. that women in general should withold sex to get better results other than being pumped and dumped by random men. Please quote where I suggested anything other than this. *sigh*

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      • Matt
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 04:05:27

        Neecy,

        “Do you think the game blogs are doing this to women? Trivializing women?”

        Yes, I do believe that Game, and the blogs that espouse it, trivialize women. It’s why, in almost all cases, I don’t use Game. I think it’s manipulation of the grossest kind. It treats women as little more than sex-toys that can be used with abandon if the correct procedures are done first. It’s grotesque and I think it’s disgusting how some of those men treat women.

        NEECY: Matt I too find manipulation of any sort disgusting. But I am becomming more and more aware that there are just messy women in the world who will allow themselves to fall for this stuff. Women have to take full responsibility for their actions. I understand women are emotional beings and we want to connect to a man and gain his attention and affection. But its as simple as keeping your legs closed and not allowing ourself to be put in a situation where you can be used and/or manipulated. A lot of women WANT to do the easiest thing to get a mains attention. So really the onus is on women to protect themselves at all costs no matter her desires. If you don’t think I get tempted to go off with an attractive man that is paying me attention and telling me all the things I want to hear, I’d be lying. But my level of self respect, common sense and pride is too high to allow myself temporary pleasure that can lead to long term emotional stress or disease. Guys who lie to get female sex are pigs, but at the end of the day its a woman’s body and she will ultimatley choose to make the choice. If after one time a woman gets burned by a guy and she keeps allowing these gamers to bed her, then its really her fault.

        But, if your opinion is that men will follow women’s lead when it comes to sex (and given that women select which men they sleep with I don’t disagree with you), then women must accept full responsibility for getting us to where we are now. Men will adapt to whatever we need to. I find Game to be a morally bankrupt adaptation to the current society we live in.

        NEECY: That is exactly the point I was making. I should have put it a different way. i should have said that if women Lower the bar for sex, then men will follow and realize they don’t have to do much to get what they need from a woman. If women raise the bar, then men will understand in order to get the pleasures of sex he will have to be willing to be in a relationship with a woman first and understand sex will not come easy unless he is willing to reciprocate and give the woman she she desires as well (a committment). The fact is today women have lowered the bar for a man to ave sex with her and thus, men are following that route and not committing to women.

        “And if so, why are you on them if its so wrong?”

        I read them for the same reason I read anything else. I’m curious. I read them because I’m curious about it and WHY it works. I’m curious about the types of men that believe in it. More importantly, I’m curious about other takes on societal issues than my own. One thing that Roissy does that many blogs don’t is he makes observations on current issues through the lens of Game. I find that fascinating.

        NEECY: i agree I don’t really have a problem with Roissy/Heartiste so to speak. i think he has found a niche for men like him and he shares it with an audience. But many of those men are just simply pigs with no respect. i have yet to see H act like a scumbag although his actions may be somewhat scumbaggish. but he is a great articulate writer with a keen eye for observing trends as you say.

        Go back and read what I’ve written on Roissy’s blog and you’ll never find me stating that I actively pick up women. I’ve had girlfriends, but I’ve never done a “pump ‘n’ dump” because I find it morally reprehensible. I wouldn’t be able to look at myself in the mirror if I pulled that. Men that can pull that irritate me because it means that they are extremely self-centred and don’t care about the pain they leave behind them.

        NEECY: Matt i have just realized you are the Matt Matt that i love and adore from CR! LOL Yes I have read your comments and to me honestly, you represent true real masculinity. You seem to be the kind of man who would have fit quite nicely back in the day when men were not afraid of being MEN. To me any man who is level headed, has standards for himself and refuses to be taken by low caliber women b/c they “look hot” says what kind of character he is. I always say the real true Alphas in the world are the men who are movers and shakers, who make the world run and keep it progressing, ones who exercise keen judgement about the women whom he allows in his space, doesn’t just place his penis in any woman he finds physically attractive and recognizes choosing low caliber women or women with issues as his partner is risking his reputation, his future and his legacy. The bad boys who sleep around with all kidns of women don’t eat without the real Alphas of the world who feed them. There are very few men like you left today and i can only magine how difficult it must be. Its the same for traditional women. However, it is still a lot easier for you as a male to find a good partner today than it is for a good woman.

        The only time I ever employ Game is when I’m faced with a woman that simply will not act reasonably towards anybody. When I’m faced with a woman that uses her body and charms to get an advantage, then I have no moral problems using Game since I didn’t start. She did. Two can play that game (pardon the pun). Note that I don’t use Game to trick women into bed, simply to nullify her use of an unfair advantage.

        NEECY: As I said, women who want that for themselves, will get what they ask for. Men will always go with the flow of whatever woman he finds interesting. If he really likes her and wants to be with her but she is not willing to sleep with him until he has proven he is worthy of her body, then he will do that. If she is willing to put herself out there sexually then men will go with that flow. That is why i say women control how men respond to them.

        Put another way, I am obligated to treat honest people honestly and to deal crookedly with crooked people. That’s not manipulative, that’s survival.

        NEECY: EXACTLY and there is nothing wrong with that.

        I find your responses on that blog interesting. I find the responses of women like Maya interesting because she writes as if her entire world view was just upended. I feel sorry for that girl because she seems to want to learn the scope of the deception she was tricked into, but doesn’t have anybody to talk to about it. I’d like to speak to her face to face simply because I’m curious about what drove her to that blog and places like it. People don’t generally start to question their beliefs until something traumatic forces them to. The fact that she is (and most of the women that frequent that place are doing the same) makes me wonder what happened to her and why.

        NEECY: Yes Maya is quite fragile and should definitley be careful about what she internalizes on that site. Me? Well I am a pretty solid girl, so most of what i read there is just pure entertainment as well as eye openers as to how some men really think. But I can say i have for the most part protected myself overall from crazy manipulative males so I don’t harbor anxiety or fear or bitterness towards males. every now and then some jerk off pisses me off on there moreso b/c I hate losers and effeminate/mysogonist men. But overall I find the site interactive, entertaining and somewhat interesting from a certain segement of males.

        “HUH? have you even read what I posted. You are going way out of left field. Who said anythig about a woman witholding sex from her husband or a man whom she is in a committed relationship with?”

        The phrase:
        “Women don’t realize the extreme power we have in molding male behavior. Simply b/c of their dire need for female sex they will do anything to get it. They will go with the flow of whatever women have set up for them as men to have access to the vagina.”
        reads to me that men will do anything and everything necessary to have sex. The implication, from my point of view, is that if a woman wants something done, she can withhold sex from the man until he does it. That may not have been the intent, but that’s how it read to me.

        NEECY: ok I wasn’t clear then. I was strictly speaking from a casual sex POV. That women in general control the sexual reigns. if women are lowering their standards for sex then so will men. If women are demanding higher standards from men, men will adjust and have higher standards themselves. IOW’s women control the sexual reigns in society and men will hop on board based on how a woman controls those reigns (loosley or tightly).

        I don’t think sex should be offered by any woman except to a man that she is in either a long-term relationship with or is married to.

        NEECY: This is where is stand on the issue and this is probably a point I didn’t make very clear in my novel. LOL.

        For the record, I don’t think that men should engage in it either. While it is less damaging for us than it is for women, we still take on unneeded baggage. It makes it harder to get intimate with a woman because a certain cynicism takes hold. If I’ve already slept with multiple women, what does this one have to offer that the others didn’t?

        NEECY: i agree Matt. While as you said NSA sex for men takes a lesser toll on him emotionally, i think after so long men become so desensitized from sex and women that its not as enjoyable as it is for a man who doesn’t do it as often with every woman he sees who is attractive. It just like being on a never ending merry go round that has to get Monotonous after awhile. Also a males ejaculatory load decreases the more sex he has (I’m not sure if this has any negative physical effects). Not to mention the higher risk of disease. As i always say, there are consequences for loose behavior for both men and women. Those consequences may be different for each gender, but they will be there.

        I genuinely believe, and every observation I’ve ever made has backed this up, that a woman has to be very hurt and emotionally battered in order to want to relate to multiple men. I’ve yet to meet a woman that can engage in sex like a man can without being affected by it. It’s why I believe modern society to be a caustic environment to any kind of relationship and why I hold third and forth wave Feminism in such low esteem.

        NEECY: This is what burns me up about extreme feminism today. As women we should know better. All the feminists are concerned with is competing with men and making sure we can show men we can do what they do. Nevermind taking into account th emotional stress and strain sleeping around takes on women. Women by nature are emotional creatures who thrive on connection to the opposite sex. How dare these feminists use their own personal agendas to ignore or not even give naive women the full story of the consequences of taking on sex in a masculine way. it really pisses me off b/c so many women are damaged and lower the bar for all women in the relaitonship arena b/c of this. This is why i can’t even find a decent guy who isn’t looking for sex within the first hour of a date. B/C he knows he can get up from the dinner table at the restaurant and go find another woman who will give him what he wants and needs sexually. Its gotten toa point I just don’t even want to bother anymore. that is how bad its gotten for some women out here.

        Though I’m still not a fan of being called one step above an animal.

        NEECY: I was being tongue in cheek but I apologize. That is why i placed a “lol” after it. But maybe i will go back and re edit the comment as Zorro has also expressed discontent with the comment.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 17:01:29

        Matt i responded within your post so that I can cover more points directly…..

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      • Xen
        Aug 09, 2011 @ 22:33:54

        Matt I have to say that labeling game as “morally bankrupt” stinks of a inflated sense of self-superiority. I’ve had similar arguments with a friend who is a natural.

        Because you may be naturally competent in your interactions with women, you perceive those of who are not so lucky, those of us who must actually work to improve ourselves and learn these techniques as “sneaky” or “manipulative” or “underhanded”. The actual truth of the matter is that if you are successful with women, you are running game, apparently unconsciously in your case. However, your unconscious game works on exactly the same level as the game of those who were not so lucky to be a natural, and must practice and learn instead.

        To say a man must resign himself to running the level of game he unconsciously developed while growing up, whether it is successful or not, and to imply that any conscious attempt to improve one’s methodology of interaction with women is “manipulative” is a bunch of self righteous bull. Apparently if you use a technique unconsciously you are “suave” while if I learn the same technique and apply it consciously I am a “manipulator”. In truth, every interaction between two humans will involve some sort of manipulation. It’s the nature of communication. Attempting to convince ANYONE that ANYTHING is true involves manipulation, whether it is conscious or unconscious.

        When it comes right down to it, anytime any man interacts with a woman he is attracted to, he is running game. Anytime any person attempts to bring another around to their point of view, they are using manipulation. Game and manipulation are mere tools, whether used consciously or unconsciously. And like any other tool, they are value neutral. It is the intentions behind the use of a tool, and the results of that use, that determine whether an action is moral or not.

        So, to scramble a couple cliches, hop off your high horse and quit painting every man interested in learning game with the same broad brush.

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      • Matt
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 01:00:31

        Xen,

        I call men that use Game “sneaky, manipulative and underhanded” because that’s what they are. Men that use Game are deliberately acting in an artificial way in order to get women to reward them. That’s the very definition of manipulation. I see no problem with calling a spade a spade.

        My problem with Game is twofold, namely it encourages the worst aspects of a male personality and it is dishonest.

        It is dishonest in that in makes a man behave in an artificial way because he believes that he’ll be rewarded for it. This is the exact way that “Nice Guy” Betas act. The only difference is that “Nice Guys” don’t get what they want, where as “Game Guys” do. Both types of men are using opposite ends of the same spectrum (“Nice Guys” pedestalizing women, “Game Guys” viewing women as sex-toys) in order to get what they want. The only reason Game isn’t viewed in this way is because it actually works whereas the “Nice Guy” way doesn’t. If you like the ends justifying the means, then go ahead.

        The second issue with Game is that it encourages men to treat women like sex-toys and not as people. The inconvienient truth about Game is that any intelligent woman that is worth a man’s time will see through the Game facade eventually, some very quickly. To combat this, Game encourages a man to have multiple women “on tap” and even applies a derogatory label to a man that stays with one, namely that he’s suffering from “one-itis”. This is wrong. “One-itis” is only a problem if the woman a man’s infatuated with does not reciprocate, but even then the man should be mature enough to move on. In the case where “one-itis” occurs and both the man and the woman are into each other, that means that the relationship is working the way it’s supposed to. All of us men are hard wired to want to have sex with as many women as we can, but this base, primal instinct should be curbed, not encouraged. It’s destructive to both women and to men. If you want an example, take a close look at the middle east. Ever wonder why young men are promised 70+ virgins if they become suicide bombers?

        I have absolutely no problems with men trying to improve themselves and their lot in life. This is what we are supposed to do. But Game is not the way to do it. It’s exchanging one set of artificial behaviours (“Nice Guy” Beta) for another set (“Game Guy” Beta). When you get down to brass tacks, a man that has spent all his time studying Game will still be Beta because he will still not be a leader and he will still be looking for the validation of women. Game is all flash and no substance. It only works because there are so few actual Alphas anymore. If a guy that’s studied Game is beside a genuine Alpha, women of worth will know the difference and will flock to the Alpha.

        Game is “morally bankrupt” because it’s entire reason for existence is to get women to have sex with the man using it. In that respect, it is not value neutral. It exists to slake the self-centred urges of men. That’s grotesque.

        A true Alpha needs no validation from anyone. He’s confident, leads when he has to, follows when has to and is self-sufficient enough to know he’ll be alright regardless of what happens to him and those that depend on him. There is no short cut to this and Game can not train that into a man.

        I’ll stay on my high horse, thanks.

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  3. Liza207
    Aug 05, 2011 @ 21:15:58

    Neecy, I also want to add that women really don’t know how to be feminine anymore in terms of their behavior, mannerisms and dress. I have a friend/coworker who is very sweet but is so masculine in behavior and dress at times that when we out, I believe people think that we are a lesbian couple–me being the fem of the two of us. I do try to make suggestions but it’s pointless. She says, “Why should I have to change my behaviour to get a man. They should take me as I am”. No real man wants to date a woman who behaves like a man. She went out on a date sometime ago and she told me that she offered to pay and opened the door for the guy to walk ahead of her. And when he didn’t call her after the date she couldn’t figure out why she didn’t hear from him again. Duh! My god, wear make-up once in a while and dress or a skirt. I love dresses and skirts, love them, especially in the summer. I also love make up. I love being a girl and it seems that the women I work with have an issue with my girliness I really get the side eyes. I’m the only one who wears makeup and dresses to work–I work at a lawfirm and there are a bunch of unfeminine feminists there.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 22:39:18

      Yes Liza, masculine women only attract effeminate men. Then they become frustrated b/c they are not getting the men who are truly masculine and start treating these effeminate men like dirt. But the problem is THEM. Why on earth would a feminine woman want to be with an effeminate man and why would a masculine man want to be with a masculine acting/looking woman?

      And you are right. If a woman looks and dresses and acts feminine she will get better responses from MASCULINE men. Effeminate and misogynists males hate feminine women and try to abuse them just like the masculine women do. Real men who are masculine by nature want to embrace and protect and be around feminine looking and acting women.

      I look at some couples I know where the woman is very masculine acting. And I wonder how the husband or b/f puts up with that and how she puts up with a man who isn’t acting like a man. Then when I look at the man, he is usually a loser or doesn’t have much going for himself and needs a woman to lead him. Look at how most Black female and Black male relationships are. You have so many Black women acting like the man and the men acting like women. Its utterly mind boggling why any woman would want to take on the characteristics of a man and vice versa.

      There is nothing like being a woman and embracing that. And there is nothing like a masculine male who knows who to make a woman feel like a woman.

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      • Liza207
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 17:07:08

        You have so many Black women acting like the man and the men acting like women. Its utterly mind boggling why any woman would want to take on the characteristics of a man and vice versa.

        Neecy, that’s what happens when a man is not stepping up to the plate. The women feels she must step up because in any male/female relationship someone has to submissive and some has to be dominate. So, some women feel they have no other choice but to take the reins, it’s not because they want this role but because they feel forced to take it on. That’s why women prefer dominate men.

        And I really get tired of hearing men who aren’t dominate whining about how women prefer real masculine men– stop whining and go grow a pair.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 18:02:05

        EXACTLY. I understand these women have to adapt the masculinbe role b/c their men aren’t pulling their weight, but my question to them is WHY BOTHER! If I as a woman have to do all of that and try to lead a man and carry the reins, then its not worth the time, stress and energy. These women end up burning themslves out, becomming jaded and mean. Then they hate all men. Its like some people would rather put up with a bunch of craziness for the sake of having a “partner” than be alone and be stress free and find something else to take up their time and energy.

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  4. Maya
    Aug 05, 2011 @ 21:46:07

    “Feminine women are seen as weak and male identified b/c they choose to use their femininity to balance male desire and her needs as a woman. I have found the complete opposite to be true. I find when I am MOST feminine acting and looking, I get better responses from men in general.”

    I don’t always get positive response for being feminine. Some men are annoyed because they think I’m useless, slow and weak. They look down on me. Some women probably think I’m flirting with men because I’m quite girly and they sometimes also get annoyed because I’m too quiet, not very assertive etc. But I don’t care anymore. I’ll be what I am. I can’t pretend anymore to be someone I’m not.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 22:45:47

      Maya,

      Don’t ever let anyone steal your femininity away from you and make you feel guilty about it. Real men respond to feminine looking and acting women. Men who HATE WOMEN despise feminine women b/c we only desire and respect masculine men. Misogynists are not masculine men, they are effeminate men. Women who are also masculine hate feminine women b/c they also desire masculine males but cannot get them and end up with the effeminate males.

      When I say I get good responses from males by looking and acting feminine. I mean when I am out, acting and looking pleasant or dressed up and look well put together and like a woman they will go out of their way to engage you, open doors for you, help you out, protect you etc. Mind you I am talking about REAL MEN who are truly masculine.

      Being girly today is frowned upon by greater society. Even other women will abuse you as well as woman hating males. Be careful and steer clear of them. Surround yourself by masculine males & other feminine women and they will respond and protect you against those losers.

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    • Matt
      Aug 07, 2011 @ 03:31:13

      Maya,

      Non-feminine women get threatened by a feminine woman because they know, on an instinctual level that they may not be able to articulate, that a feminine woman is living the way they should be. Non-feminine women rightly feel threatened because a feminine woman shows them something they could (and should) have, but chose not too. It’s pure jealousy. Men looking for an long-term relationship or marriage will respond much better to a feminine woman than one that isn’t and those women know it.

      Men want feminine women just as much as, if not more than, women want masculine men. I would take a feminine 6 over a modern 10 any day and would stand by her for as long as possible.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:46:57

        “I would take a feminine 6 over a modern 10 any day and would stand by her for as long as possible.”

        Matt i have always felt that the more feminine a woman or more masculine a man, that regardless of how they look, they automatically become more attractive.

        I have known some women who were not the best looking aesthetically but they were VERY feminine and seemed to be quite attractive to many males and people. I have also seen extremely visually attrcative women who were very masculine or aggressive and really they start looking pretty unnattrractive once you get to know them.

        This is where women don’t realize that you do not have to be the best looking to be attractive and sought after.

        Same goes for a masculine guy. If he is not the best looking, if he has tons of real masculine energy and traits, women will fall over him comapred to a very good looking effeminate man.

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  5. Marellus
    Aug 05, 2011 @ 22:58:22

    Neecy.

    For me femininity is the ability of a woman to talk to a man. There are women that knows how to talk to a man. And for the life of me I can’t explain it. But I have experienced it. I’ve met two of them on facebook, and in both instances I had to unfriend them because I could see myself being entrapped by them. And sometimes the feelings surface. It’s unfair.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 23:01:30

      Hi Marellus!!!

      Can you expand when you say femininity is “women who know how to talk to a man?” And if it made you feel so good, why would you want to walk away? Are you referring to women sweet talking you?

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      • Marellus
        Aug 05, 2011 @ 23:48:56

        One was married. The other one had a 1000 male friends all posting endearments and devotion on her wall. I challenged her. I really did. And somehow she could end the disagreement with a joke. She had a way of writing that could fire my mind, concentrating it … warping it. She could make me dream.

        I was also one of her slavish followers, but a grumpy one. How I finally realized that I was onto something dangerous, was because she posted false profile pictures of herself, and basked in their glory.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 00:13:06

        Oooh ok. Well its a good thing you removed yourself from that. It sounds like she already has her hands full and most likely will not take most men serious.

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  6. zorroprimo
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 00:01:08

    “…feminine women (especially BLACK) are ridiculed and looked down upon for wanting to embrace what they believe is womanhood…”

    Looked down on by whom? Men…or other women?

    Men go berserkoid over feminine women, largely because there are so damn few of them today. If Donna Reed were still around, she’d be as hot as Kim Kardashian, but for totally different purposes (thus, by different men).

    Men form dominance hierarchies. Women construct social networks. The worst enemies women have are other women.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 06, 2011 @ 00:10:32

      Looked down upon by the entire Black community – both men and women. Black women are expected to be and act masculine so that we can take care of everyone. In normal socities, men are the protectors and providers of the race and their communities. Its the complete opposite for Blacks.

      Zorro there are very few feminine women but there are also very few real masculine males today as well. Its on both sides of the coin.

      I agree women are each other’s worst enemy, but so are Misogynist males. And they are a growing number of them today who hate and resent women as well as a growing number of women who hate men and want to comepte with men.

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  7. zorro
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 00:07:38

    Just a suggestion, Neecy. I have been looking over the kind of topics you are addressing, and it occurs to me that if you were to read the book The Woman Racket by Steve Moxon, it would, if nothing else, stimulate a silly ridiculous number of ideas for future posts. Just a suggestion if you are wondering where to get idea from. You can agree, like, disagree or dislike the book, and it will still provoke at least 50 ideas for topics you can write about however you like, I promise you.

    It’s all about how the sexes relate to each other at home, at work and at play.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 06, 2011 @ 00:11:57

      Ok i will go to amazon today and look it over. This is the difficulty of having a blog. Constatly coming up with good topics. LOL

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      • zorro
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 00:27:36

        When you go to Amazon, see if there’s a way to put the book in your “wish list” or something like a bridal registry for other people to purchase for you. If you agree to read the book, I will be happy to buy it for you! Then let me know if there is a way I can log into your wish list so the book is paid for and shipped to you. I think this is possible, but I’ve never done it.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 00:53:12

        OMG Z that is such a nice gesture! Seriously. I love you man. 🙂

        I will go there and do that and see if that works!

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  8. zorro
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 01:22:02

    I sent Amazon an email asking how to purchase a book for someone who can’t give me their address, but who has an Amazon accout (and thus has your address). If that does not work, I can send you the fee to cover the book and shipping by buying an Amazon gift card and emailing it to you. I think I still have your email. I’ll take care of this on the 31st when I get my next paycheck…if you are willing to give the book a try. It certainly addresses a lot of male/female issues.

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  9. Neil Hansen
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 02:56:25

    “marinate and discuss.”

    love it.

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  10. zorro
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 03:47:30

    “Am I saying men are basically one step above animals? YES LOL. ”

    Wow. And you accused Roissy’s crew of being harsh.

    Ever heard of a the word “misandry?”

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    • Neecy
      Aug 06, 2011 @ 04:05:10

      SERIOUSLY ZORRO?! You guys can’t even catch sarcasm. Talk about emtional response. You and Matt managed to COMPLETELY overlook my entire post to pull out one part where I was being tongue in cheek and sarcastic? My feelings are hurt.

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      • Anonymous
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 04:19:17

        I don’t know who Matt is, and I don’t want to nitpick, but I don’t believe what you wrote qualifies as sarcasm. If it was tongue-in-cheek, then I’ll take your word for it. I’m evidently a little sensitive to being compared to an animal.

        (I’m still going to buy you that book.)

        If your feelings are hurt, tell me where they hurt so I can rub my paws all over. I’m really good at massage.

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      • zorro
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 05:26:00

        Sorry I didn’t get the humor there. I guess I’m a little sensitive to being compared to an animal.

        I think most guys are kind of touchy about the whole animal thing. We’ve been called animals our whole lives, and most of us are kind of fed up with it.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 18:12:05

        😦 I don’t want you to be mad at me….. I may change the comment.

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      • Zorro
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 20:32:12

        There is no way I could get mad at you (but I might make you think I was…I’m not…I’m being a bull moose, and we will occasionally rub our antlers on a tree next to the female, which can scare the crap out of her).

        Oral sex. Just think about oral sex, and the world suddenly makes complete sense.

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  11. Neil Hansen
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 05:04:05

    The Manipulated Man is a good read, too.

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  12. Maya
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 07:34:23

    Matt,

    “People don’t generally start to question their beliefs until something traumatic forces them to. ”

    26th birthday. You understand why?

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    • Neecy
      Aug 06, 2011 @ 18:09:08

      Maya,

      You still have time. You just work on getting your mental health together and the rest will fall into place. I know I often rag on about my age and whatnot. But I also realize its never too late. but we cannot be completely focused and obsessed with finding someone to the point we forget to take care of ourselves and work on being a better person so that we can attract that good person in our lives. When you are not at your full potential, you will attract losers and crazies. I am a late bloomer and i am going through my own personal transitions and yes, I do attract some crazies LOL. But I know once I get to where I need to be as a person then I will attract good men in my life.

      Just be careful about what you internalize at Heartiste. Take it as entertainment, yeah you learn some things about how men think, but don’t use that as your compass to finding love. Those men on there have a mission and that is – sex by any means necessary. Its no the best place for a woman looking to find relationships b/c many of those men on there are past the point of wanting to be with one woman. They are focused on a very small percentage of highly attractive women and bedding those women. Its simply not realistic for the most part . But the site is fun and entertaining if nothing else. And I kinda like Heartiste – he’s a good writer…

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      • Maya
        Aug 06, 2011 @ 18:43:15

        It wasn’t Roissy’s blog that made me think … It was 26th birthday by itself that made me look for such websites – realizing that I’m not going to live forever, that I’m going to change, that time passes so fast and I can’t do anything to stop it. It doesn’t matter if I stay a child in my head – I’m going to get old and die anyway.

        I agree with you that it’s possible to find love later in life. I know a woman that married (happily!) at the age of 40 or 41 and one other that married at 56 (very happily, as well!). They both had big problems in their heads – in their youth, but now they are both very happy and inspiring persons. They are very nice, kind, sweet. I think it’s the feminists who have problem marrying, because they are aggressive and full of hatred towards men.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:21:17

        Well try not to obsess too much over your age. You still have time, but you also want to be pro-active in surrounding yourself around healthy happy people and men. Once you do that you should be able to connect with the right guy. Somtimes when women obsess about finding someone they start settling for any guy and end up in dead end relationships b/c of their lack of patience.

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    • Matt
      Aug 07, 2011 @ 03:42:14

      Maya,

      I genuinely wish I had some of advice to offer you. Unfortunately, all I don’t. I know what the male side of this mess looks like. I can only guess at the female side. We’re both being short changed and it sucks for everyone but those without morals.

      Like Neecy said above, it’s much more difficult for a good lady to find a good man than the reverse. I’ve spent the past five years looking for a lady. I found one after my buddy married her. I can’t imagine how scarce good men are, but given the rarity of good ladies, then I do sympathize.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:22:12

        “I’ve spent the past five years looking for a lady. I found one after my buddy married her. ”

        Your friend married the lady you were in love with?

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      • Matt
        Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:30:15

        No, that was badly worded.

        My buddy married her, then I met her. She was his wife before I met her. She’s an amazing lady, feminine and classy.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:47:56

        OOOOH LOL. I was like OMG that is so rude of your buddy!

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  13. PermanentGuest
    Aug 06, 2011 @ 20:56:29

    The crux of the gender feminism wave is an assumption that femininity is somehow inferior to masculinity. Today young women deny femininity because even women put no value on the traditional lifestyle or skills which were once so prevalent.

    This new found feminine power is social. Men have been indoctrinated to believe that they need women to be worth anything, and in cases to believe that women are simply better than them. Thus, men forfeit any natural power to chase after this social ideal.

    Women’s true power is in submission. Empowering the man in her life allows her to love more. Sounds paradoxical, but its practical. Here’s a woman who can explain it: http://www.youtube.com/user/shanelcooper#p/search/0/mOPfn5jydoY

    “They are driven by their hormones and intense sex drives – PERIOD. I believe in an uncivilized society/world women would be nothing more than sexual quests for the average male.”

    But here’s where socialization comes into play. A real man takes these drives and redirects them into constructive, world-affecting activities, such as building a civilization, starting a business, orchestrating a play, etc. Unfortunately, men have wasted their energy because they’ve been taught that the pinnacle of their existence is finding a beautiful woman and bedding her.

    Great thoroughly written and thought-out post, Neecy.

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    • zorro
      Aug 06, 2011 @ 22:24:46

      I won’t quibble with the statement that a woman’s “true power is in submission,” but I would like to nuance that a tad. Rather than narrowly define her core power (her ability to manifest the changes in her life and environment to best accomplish what she desires), think of that submission being as a satellite force which orbits around the planet/male in her life. The male takes point on resource-aquisition and status-achievement, and the female serves as a second-in-command, strongly aligned to those ends. Behind every successful man is a good woman. That’s no joke. Women multi-task circles around men, they establish and develop social networks better than we do, and they are biologically more attuned to the subtle nuances of social relationships than men are. They are the perfect mate for a man who aims to succeed in life. It’s not so much submission as it is the assumption of a subordinating role, and in that role she is the superior player. Men who play second banana to high-status women rarely succeed in that role, and women, due to hypergamy, rarely accept them.

      This is but one more reason that feminism and left-wing social engineering is antithetical to a self-replicating society in which the family unit and raising of children can occur. There is nothing inferior about women. It’s just that their role is more akin to the rhythm section of a band, and the male is more the Steven Tyler & Joe Perry (Aerosmith), or Jimmy Page & Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) “front men” section. One is much more evident and visible (the male’s achievement), but without the rhythm section, the band sucks.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:36:22

        ZORRO,

        I love the way you break it down! Its so true. Both male and female have power that compliment each other. Being submissive for a woman should be something that benefits the both of them. When women feel disempowered they become unhappy and start acting masculine to compensate for that lack of feeling in control. This is why so many women in high positions can often become nightmares as bosses. They deep down feel disempowered simply b/c they are women and they work hard to overcompensate by acting and being masculine in how they approach people and their job.

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      • Zorro
        Aug 08, 2011 @ 08:35:31

        Neecy said: “This is why so many women in high positions can often become nightmares as bosses.”

        This is discussed in Chapter 9 of The Woman Racket by Steve Moxon, and is why I am so all over getting you to read it after I buy it for you, girl!

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      • Neecy
        Aug 08, 2011 @ 14:36:48

        Ok so what do I need to do. add the book in my wish list and then what?

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      • Zorro
        Aug 08, 2011 @ 15:41:56

        You don’t need to do anything. Next Monday I will buy you an Amazon gift card that will cover the book and postage. You will receive it by email. Then you use it to buy the book when you get onto Amazon.

        Then you read the book, taking notes on all the blog posts it will stimulate you to write.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 08, 2011 @ 16:05:10

        I’m so touched! Z you’re the best. and if you ever need whitening kits let me know, i’ll send you some no charge.

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      • Zorro
        Aug 08, 2011 @ 17:45:54

        I sent you an email to the address you gave me before. I want to make sure that’s the email I should use when I send you the Amazon gift card. Just respond to it so I know it’s the right one to use.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:32:44

      Thanks PG!

      While i agree submission is not wrong when connected to the right kind of masculine male, I think that its important as well for women to be able to have independence and a willingness to never feel they have to settle. A lot of women have issues with submission b/c some men do not know how to handle a submissive woman. They feel that is a ticket to walk over a woman and thus why so many women avoid this.

      I think a woman always wants to feel like she is an equal in a relationship. That her opinion and thoughts and feelings matter just as much as her partners. My idea of being submissive is: At work I am a go getter, independent and handle my business so that I can be successful. But when i come home to my partner, i don’t want to have to be running the relationship. I want to feel taken care of and I want to trust my partner so that I can feel that whatever decisions he ultimately makes is for not only his best interests by mine as well. I want to be able to know my husband or b/f will take charge and handle things.

      “A real man takes these drives and redirects them into constructive, world-affecting activities, such as building a civilization, starting a business, orchestrating a play, etc. Unfortunately, men have wasted their energy because they’ve been taught that the pinnacle of their existence is finding a beautiful woman and bedding her.”

      EXACTLY PG. I never understood why men started getting away from this idea. The strength in males is that they do those very things you mentioned. NOT how many women they screw or how many hot women they can pull. It seems society uplifts the wrong kind of masculinity – fake hyper masculinity. Not real masculinity which keeps the world running and moving forward/progressing. As I said what makes a man and ALPHA in my eyes are the men who run things, make things happen and use their brains, strength and knowledge to keep the world turning. Bad Boys are only considered masculine b/c they use their penis. But bad boys don’t exist or enjoy life without real Alpha males creating and building things that they benefit from. If the real alphas of the world stop being alpha and started only using the one aspect of manhood (their penis) then we’d all be doomed.

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  14. Marellus
    Aug 07, 2011 @ 00:20:49

    Neecy.

    What about the pill ? Has that not changed female sexuality ? Or rather exposed it ?

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    • Neecy
      Aug 07, 2011 @ 18:42:32

      MARELLUS,

      Yes I believe the pill has contributed greatly to the free for all sex that so many women participate in. Being on birth control in many ways can hide the promiscuity of any woman b/c she will never get preggers. Without BC you have many more women being much careful about sex.

      But in some cultures (like Black American culture) many women still refuse to use BC as a method of protecting against tons of OOW kids.

      Black American women are often looked at as easier or sluttier than most women, but the only real difference is Black American women choose not to use BC and choose to keep their children on average. Many young White American females and American females in general are very promiscuous today, however b/c White American and other races of women are more likely to use BC they tend to have less of that “slutty” stigma sttached to them due to lower rates of OOW kids. Its hard to tell a promiscuous woman unless her character shows this.
      If BC were taken away it would be interesting to see how this would change the promiscuity of women today.

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  15. Liza207
    Aug 07, 2011 @ 16:14:27

    Neecy, you made yourself clear about your tongue-in-cheek remark about men being animals. That’s how it is when you have a blog there will be people misinterpreting and misconstruing (trolls) what you write. It’s just par for the course and I would just let slide off my back.

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  16. Maya
    Aug 10, 2011 @ 12:52:50

    Matt, what you wrote about me, I guess I want to comment this, too …

    “I feel sorry for that girl because she seems to want to learn the scope of the deception she was tricked into, but doesn’t have anybody to talk to about it. I’d like to speak to her face to face simply because I’m curious about what drove her to that blog and places like it.”

    It’s not that bad, really. I have people to talk to about it. It’s funny how at first everyone was extremely angry, but now it’s getting better – I’ve noticed some people like me even more (and those who despise me because of my new worldview – I don’t need them in my life) and I feel really well. I might have been whining a lot on Citizen Renegade, but it was just the first shock when I really didn’t have anyone who would agree with me … so I went on the internet to look for some support. It really is everything OK now. If you’d like to speak to me simply because you’re curious – you can ask here.
    BTW. What part of the US are you from?

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    • Matt
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 02:34:51

      Maya,

      I find people that do a complete 180 in their beliefs to be interesting because it is extremely rare. I didn’t see every post you made at Roissy’s, but the tone of the ones I did read made me wonder. I meant no disrespect.

      I’m not from the US. I’m Canadian, from southern Ontario.

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      • Maya
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 14:33:41

        Oh, sorry, I’ve put my words together a bit clumsy – I don’t think you’re being disrespectful.

        I asked you where are you from, because I’ll be in the US (East coast) in Sept. or Oct., so I thought we actually could talk face to face as you mentioned. Canada is a bit too far away, but fortunately we have blogs like Neecy’s 🙂

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  17. Emma the Emo
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 09:34:32

    Well said. I’m starting to be increasingly convinced that men really are driven by sex and a lot of what they do is done to get it (not all of them, but perhaps a majority). I read an article in our university newspaper a few months ago. It said that women are better students and men drop out more. At the same time, there are more male professors than female. The conclusion was that men always go after higher status compared to women. Everyone gets a university degree nowadays, so getting a degree no longer gives a man higher status compared to women. So instead of studying, a man will drop out and join a motorcycle gang, which gives him much higher status than a bachelor degree. That is what the newspaper said, so I’m not making it up.

    They didn’t say why men acted like this, but I suspect it’s because women really are hypergamous (want men who have higher status than them…), so men need the status to get the women. This has scary implications – that the more “male” power women get, the more jerks there are. And men stop being productive, too.

    And you’re right that if women keep being easy, men won’t have to commit to them and will just keep enjoying all the free sex. Other men, who really want to settle down and get married, will not be happy, since there are so few non-slutty women. So I guess the best solution for a woman is to not be a slut, and find one of those men who really want to have a wife and a family. The only problem is that he might not be very high in status (he might be a plumber, for example), or be very “alpha” (if he was that, he’d more likely sleep with all the sluts that make themselves availible and ignore the “prudish” you). It’s no use to try to make an average alpha to commit by not putting out, I think, because they can easily find another girl who would.

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    • zorro
      Aug 11, 2011 @ 23:38:46

      Your grasp of the dynamics of human sexual role expression is impressive.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 02:37:01

      HEY EMMA Glad you stopped in I always enjoy your insights, and you are very mature and level headed for such a young woman 🙂

      I agree. It seems that the problem is in HOW men are being labeled as “high status”. High status males in the past were men who were leaders, educated, intelligent and movers and shakers for things in society and the world. The educated male. Nowadays our culture glorifies, thuggery, machismos, and other overly exaggerate forms of manhood (i.e. like motorcyle games you mentioned). Women are literally being BRAINWASHED to see manhood in the wrong ways. So yes, women are being hypergamous but they are not really understanding what true and real high status males are or should be. The kinds of men today that most women are “turned on” by are the males who cannot keep society on its two legs. I feel the men who keep the world moving/progressing are the real high status males that women should be seeking.

      Its in a woman’s nature to seek males who are protective and able to provide for her and his family. These high status “bad boys” don’t provide anything but the flowing of sexual juices and *some* quickie excitement. I just don’t get how women have allowed themselves to be bamboozled into accepting the wrong kind of male behavior and type as high status.

      There comes a point when a woman who sees it for what it is, just sit back and understand she may or may not find that good guy who hasn’t been unscathed by all of this and who has not decided to throw in the towel or begin to work on changing to fit into the ideal of the current “high status” male. This is happening (hence game blogs) in which I feel most of the guys there are the ones who tried to do the right thing, but are seeing little to no results for their well-meaning efforts at being the good man that women “say” they want. Its so sad and disheartening b/c I can see the bigger picture and it seems the majority of women can’t or they do and they are only concerned with fulfilling their temporary needs for lust and excitement. *shrugs*

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      • zorro
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:21:05

        What a woman “sees” as high status in a man, and how she sees it, are far more unconscious than conscious. Were you to have spent more time understanding “game,” and read some books on evolutionary psychology, you’d realize that culture and conscious choice have very little to do with mate selection in the human female.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:30:36

        Hmm. i don’t necessarily believe this. How do you explain why women in the past chose different types of “high status” males than today where high status males are typically bad boys and polar opposites of high status males in the past?

        Also how do you explain women who do not fall for these types of guys and prefer a more intelligent male who is high status in the sense of being successful etc?

        The fact is today young women see bad boys as “hot and cool” and this is what they are brainwashed to want. You never see good guys being portrayed as hot or cool. Music and culture do play a very big part in how women and men relate to each other.

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      • zorro
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:38:39

        Oh, women have always gravitated to high status men, but my point is the manner in which they determine high status is far more intuitive and outside the bounds of rational choice.

        Just a quick example: Two guys–one is unemployed and lives in Mom’s basement; the other makes $250K and drives a Porsche Cayman S. There is a way that the basement dweller can literally become more attractive to a female than the rich guy. And the woman will have no idea how he did it.

        Women do not make their mating decisions on the sole basis of objective, rational decision.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:50:56

        Zorro,

        There is a way the basement dweller can make himself attractive to *CERTAIN CALIBER OF WOMEN*. there is no way all women find the basement dweller more attractive. yes there will be some. i know a lot of women who have tastes in men that make me cringe in confusion. i would never find a man who lives in his mother’s basement as attractive no matter how good he looked. Even if I could not manage to snag the higher status man with the high salary and car/lifestyle, he would still never be in competition with a basement dweller. He wins hands down in my book – maybe not in another’s woman’s book. Women make choices in mates based on a number of things – their upbringing and values level of self-security and how they value themselves as women and as a person.

        What irks and bugs me sometimes about men is they honestly make women out to be stupid beings who do not have a mind of their own. That every decision we make is simply on our gender alone. Some men never take into account the environmental factors that make women make certain decisions in mates. I don’t buy this whole “women are born irrational about the kinds of men they gravitate towards”. NO WAY. i know plenty of women who would never date or be with a loser and are utterly turned off by them.

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      • Matt
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:59:56

        Neecy,

        There are two main reasons, and one backup plan, for why women in the past chose different criteria for “high status” men than they use now.

        The first is that men of the past were different than we are today. Yes, there were thugs but there were not as many of them and they were not glorified like they are today.

        The second is that older women took an interest in teaching young girls how to select a mate. They taught a young woman what were good traits in a husband, what were bad traits and how to curb the natural desire for a “bad boy”.

        If both of those methods failed, then societal pressures came into play.

        Women that don’t fall for thugs and bad-boys are generally the ones who have been taught what to look for or have seen what a family home should look like. Barring that, they are the ones that think about more than their immediate gratification. Both types of women are, unfortunately, becoming exceedingly rare.

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      • zorro
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 04:37:46

        Tell me just how “high value” Jesse James (the ex Mr. Sandra Bullock) is. Covered with tattoos, foul mouhted biker dude who lives for the thrill of the open road, is a rebel (does not live according to the rules of conventional society), and who was married to a porn star.

        High value? Sandra Bullock sure thought so. She married the lump of dogshit, and when he cheated on her, that stupid bitch ACTED SURPRISED!

        I remember her saying how “he’s so great with his kids!” Sure. He cares for them so much he picked their mother off a lot while she was blowing a total stranger. I’m sure his kids will love seeing Mom in the video store back room.

        Please explain how so many women are so smart again. But before you do, you should read The Evolution of Desire, by David M. Buss, Ph.D. Thirty thousand years of genetic mapping is why otherwise intelligent women can be totally taken in by men who act a certain way.

        That guy who lives in Mom’s basement is not a loser. Jesse James is, and he played Sandra Bullock like a violin.

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      • emmatheemo
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 08:16:49

        I think both you and Matt have some good ideas about this – that women are doing this both because bad boys are naturally appealing to many, and because they aren’t educated about what kind of men they should avoid and whom they should choose. If women knew the consequences of being slutty and chosing these men, I think they would think twice before doing it. I don’t believe women are as braindead as people on Roissy make them out to be, just ignorant. They are even encouraged to sleep around “like a man”, and doing what feels right (both results of extreme feminism, maybe?), so they do it. Doing what feels right/good when it comes to dating sounds like freedom, but it has consequences, and I guess women just don’t know about those. I sure didn’t, before I discovered all this info, but thankfully I wasn’t naturally attracted to assholes , so it kept me from contributing to everyone’s problems and getting hurt.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 13, 2011 @ 05:17:14

        Matt so is it safe to say that its really how a woman is brought up and taught that plays a key role in the typ eof man she desires? Or do you still believe that its in women’s nature to want males that get their sexual juices flowing, but its a learned/tauight behavior that keeps them from seeking out those males and searching for better solid mates?

        i think it might be a mixture of all 3. But you are right, it seems men were simply different back in the day and the media did not encourage and influence bad boyism at the level it does now. Also, yes many women in the past took great measures to make sure their daughters knew how to marry well and choose the most stable partner. I don’t think many mothers are talking to their daughters about this these days. When y0u see so many proimiscuous women who fall for bad types of guys I often wonder what the heck were their mothers teaching or not teaching these girls.

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      • Neecy
        Aug 13, 2011 @ 05:22:13

        Zorro point taken about Sandra Bullock. However, just b/c a woman is nice and/or talented and smart doesn’t mean she doesn’t have issues. Sandra has often made comments about how she was the “ugly duckling” growing up in the South around many beautiful All American looking White Southern belles. That she never fit in or was the hottie. i believe any woman with self esteem issues will choose a bad partner like she did. She IMO was living out her hot girl fantasy of being with some biker/tatooe guy who normally dated the kinds of women Sandra may deep down have always wanted to be or look like. So in essence, ANY female with self esteem issues will fall for that type of guy. I always thought they were and odd match and he seemed so out of her league. but then again, i believe she wanted to be that girl she never was who could attract a man like that. And unfortunatley for her it was a bad risk.

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  18. Emma the Emo
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 10:06:14

    Oh, and I define feminine traits as those traits more often naturally found in women than in men. They are not necessarily all positive.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 02:38:41

      Interesting. I think there is a happy medium to all things. once we start going too extreme to the left or right of anything, it can bring out the negative aspects in any given thing, situation or person.

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      • emmatheemo
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 07:55:59

        Well, the only “bad” feminine trait that I can think of now is communicating with subtle clues. Not a bad thing on its own, but bad in a relationship with a man, as they don’t communicate that way. I can see the clear difference when talking to my girlfriends and my boyfriend. I got used to picking up clues when talking to girls, my “detector” can pick up small signals in a mass of white noise. So now that I talk to my boyfriend, I pick up on stuff that’s not really there, that is just…white noise :). But I got used to it now.

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  19. Emma the Emo
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 05:44:05

    Why do you guys keep calling guys like Jesse James “losers”? They play women like violins after all. They are the winners 😉 That’s not to say that they are good people or deserve to get all the love they get, but they are certainly not losers in that sense.

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    • Maya
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 14:24:10

      I always thought your profile pic was some photoshop fantasy painting. I was so surprised to see it’s a photograph of a real girl and not a painting of a fairy 🙂 You look so adorably feminine and fragile – I like your style.

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  20. Emma the Emo
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 15:58:26

    it seems my replies to people got erased :S. If I said something wrong and they got removed, I’m sorry.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 16:38:07

      Sorry Emma in not sure why it holds some comments. Usually the only time I have to approve them is when it’s a new poster. After that all comments they make after intial ones go through. it’s weird! But rest assured it’s not u I look forward to reading ur comments! 🙂

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