So we’ve covered femininity and the current thoughts on how it has changed and is currently changing for the worse and best. Now fellas its your turn! I will throw this out to you all to answer: How do you as a male or female define a masculine man?

I guess for me Masculine men exhibit these qualities/traits: Honesty, Integrity, Fearlessness, self discipline, protective, intelligence, adaptability, solid, unwavering, persistent, assertive, upstanding, trustworthy.. I am sure there are more but those are ones that stand out.

MASCULINITY just like femininity  these days has taken a course for the worse.  Granted there has been no real men’s movements to tell men to act like women and start tucking their penises between their thighs, but it seems some men woke up one morning, looked in the mirror at their wee wee’s and decided to do just that – tuck the man meat away.  I like to call them the effeminate males.

Others have chosen to enlist their man meat  into the service for war. These men like sergeants  work and keep their man meat at attention like a soldier. The mission? To conquer (mostly) and kill (in a hurt so good kind of way  * TSK TSK TSK NEECY!*) its arch-nemesis – the vagina! We call those guys the machismos or the hyper-masculinized males.

Then we have another group. They completely hate anything that doesn’t resemble a  sausage like, stick like figure that protrudes from the lower regions of the body. They hate anything flat, with two lips on the side, a pink center and hollow filling *que jeopardy music*  (can you guess what I am referring to?? Winner gets a prize –  hint: it pushes human beings out). We call those “men”  the misogynists.

I always like to save the BEST for last. We have the real men. The masculine babes. The torch carries of real and true manhood. The ones whose man meat actually walks, talks and creates wonderful things. The ones women:  fall to their knees for,  voluntarily submit to, make a grown woman feel like a little girl, pant like dogs in heat. The ones that…Okay I’ll stop. It’s the MASCULINE MALES!!! You know the ones GOD created? The original man. The one who walked earth before the other poor mans representations of manhood came along and tricked everyone into believing masculine males were dead? In the famous words of Jennifer Hudson’s ghetto song currently rotating the airwaves “WHERE YOU AT?”

So what has happened. Why are so many men today just clueless as to how to be a man? Was it those pesky man made extreme feminists that keep them at bay? Is it the music industry that continues to push and promote the worse representations of male hood for women to seek, follow, desire, and submit to?

My thoughts are that culture today seeks to uplay the wrong kinds of manhood at the expense of traditional women and poorly misinformed feminist following women. I guess it’s a great way to balance the feminists need for men who are 1, 2 steps below real men so they can be on the same level?

Well ladies all hope is not lost. If you’re still a feminine woman by nature you will attract these real god created masculine men like magnets on a fridge. They come out of nowhere., Fall out of the sky. Pop up out of the concrete, jump in front of you (not in a creepy annoying kind of way) the minute these men smell true femininity walking by.  Its like real masculine males cannot resist their own nature to want to be in the presence of their better half – the feminine woman. They respond to a feminine woman. They want to protect these kinds of women and make their lives easier. But as a woman you have to allow these men to do what they do – that is, be men. So if you are used to dealing with bad boys, effeminates and/or mysogies and being in dramafied voilatile relationships, stay away from a masculine man!  you need to re-learn how to deal with a real masculine man. A lot of women will fail. WHY? B/C they don’t know how to submit to the right man b/c they have chosen so many of the wrong ones. So masculine males are very particular about the kinds of women they allow in their lives and space. They don’t have time for games, drama and ball busting antics. They know how to handle things and expect at some point that his lady let him do that. This doesn’t mean you  are beneath him. But as a woman your job is to compliment your masculine guy by being your true feminine self. When your power and his power connect its like magic. Wanna see these kind of couplings? Look at an older couple next time you are out. GUARANTEE You they are true representations of what real women and real men who connect in the right way look like. Undfortunatley, today these types of couplings are usually in the ages of 60 or older. very rarely today do you find young men and women in relationships with this kind of real masculine and feminine energy working together as one. 😦 Soo many of these men are scarce today. Many have simply chosen 1 of the 3 archetypes of males I listed above (effeminate, machismo, or misogynist) as to keep the peace with feminists. The ironic thing is feminist women desire these men but cannot attract them b/c real men don’t compete with women and real men have no desire to take on another man with a vagina. SO these men have chosen to break ranks accordingly to go with the flow. I want to say COME BACK! We need you!

As a result of the lack of feminine women walking the social earth, these masculine become other representations of manhood. The effeminate male is a male who often is the partner of a ball busting jezebel femmie who walks over him and treats him like her little puppy dog biatch. These men don’t want to man up and be men b/c they are so afraid of being called a woman hater. These guys are often quite nice but very feeble and unwilling to stand up for manhood. So they allow femmies to continue to brow beat them into being femmie friendly (acting like a woman) so they can feel less intimidated by a man with a penis. Unfortunately, effeminate males also depend on women to get things done, to run things in the home, to tell him what to do and to lead him. No real feminine woman wants a loser like this. If you are that loser – there is help. What is it? Untuck your wee wee from your thighs, tell that masculine ball busting jezebel to go play on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles preferably between the hours of 3-7 pm, ditch your superboy cartoon undies and don that SUPERMAN CAPE and fly off into the sky and reclaim your manhood! Guess what will happen? Those femmies that used to beat your balls with their strap ons will suddenly fall to tier knees begging for your manhood to take them.  They may fight it at first, but the minute you stand your ground, start being a man, the vagina will submit. Try it and holler back at Neecy with the results.


The machismos/hyper-masculine men. Ooooh boy oh boy. This is a toughie.  How do we handle these physically superior male beings that carry their brains in their biceps and penises. The issue with them is they still carry many traits of masculinity but in the wrong overemphasized way. They are what women want (sort of) but with some adjustments. These guys are usually very physically appealing. They have that v shaped thingy that  carves out perfectly down in the pelvic region. They know how to work it in bed. They do have a way with women. But tend to fly on the chauvinistic jerky side of manhood.  Not to mention they are typically male SLUTS! If they could just reel in the sluttiness, jerkiness, chauvieness, assholness, and take a few courses that would increase their IQ’s significantly above the level   – .000 level they could easily transition into the proper level of masculinity eventually with work.  If you are he, I want to talk to you *getting out my Oprah chair*. Many of these machismo  guys procreate but never really stick around to be the family guy or the father that most kids need. These men are antsy and booty driven. They don’t like sit down restaurants where you can order and customize your booty for long-term happiness.  Instead they prefer  booty buffets. They just want to eat and indulge any and everything that looks like a vagina. If you find yourself in this description – you are a bad boy (keyword BOY) not a man! You may look like an over exaggerated male, you may perform in the bed like a man, but your actions and brain matter are way below the threshold of what real manhood is. WORK ON IT  (no not that vagina you are thinking about right now) but focus on reeling in the boy like traits that keep you from being a real man. But DO NOT – I REPEAT – DOOOO NOT BY ANY MEANS lose the v-shaped thingy that carves so nicely in your pelvic region. Please and thank you. No one said we ladies didn’t like a lil eye candy err now and then.

Now. I really hate even acknowledging this group but they must be acknowledged. The MYSOGYNISTS. UGH. Well. All I can say about this group is they hate women. They are the  almost equivalent to extreme feminism. These “men” (and I use the term men loosely) feel women are put on this earth to be at their mercy and abuse. Usually these kinds of woman hating males will involve themselves in relationships with low caliber, insecure fragile women. WHY? B/C they get off on abuse of women and know how to pick their prey. These men like the effeminate male, don’t know how to exude real manhood. Misogynists are usually males who are failures in life. Every bad thing that happens to them is never their fault – it’s a woman’s fault. They physically assault and beat up on women as well as verbally abuse women. They love to drill down on women’s insecurities and they often refer to and call women everything but a child of God. They seek to compete with women on all levels (like extreme male hating femmies). What can I say for a guy like this? Just drop dead please. Really this planet has no use for you or your kind. BUT, if you want to choose reform over dropping dead, please feel free to hit up a women’s shelter and look and listen to the stories of women who have suffered at the hands of “men” like you. Understand that your power in being a male doesn’t give you the right to abuse or hurt women mentally, emotionally or physically. Use your power as a man to understand how women are here to compliment you and work with you and not against you. And last, think about your mother and how you’d feel if someone treated her or talked to her the way you treat and talk to women. Please? And thank you.

LAASSSST but certainly not least nut rather the HOSTESS with the MOSTESS – the BELOVED GOD CREATED MASCULINE MAN. You know who you are! What advice do I have for you? Nada. Keep doing what you’re doing. Oh wait – I do have some advice. Please for the love of God stop letting poor representations of manhood take over and represent you! Get your boys and reclaim this planet again. PLEASE? I don’t need to thank you b/c I know its already being done. 😉 *smooches*

Love you (masculine guys only)

Signed, Neeeeeeecy!!


54 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. zorro
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 22:19:40

    Neecy said: “So what has happened. Why are so many men today just clueless as to how to be a man?”

    That’s as far as I read. I’ll finish the post after work. But for the time being, I’ll answer the questions above by pointing out where the best answer can be found:

    No More Mr. Nice Guy, by Dr. Robert Glover, Chapters 1 & 2.

    If you reallyreallyreallyreallyreally want to know the most threshed-out reasons why soooooooooo many Western men are puss-cake pseudo males, your will find your answer there. Chapters 1 & 2. Prepare to be stunned.

    Hint: 99% of it all happened when we were little boys.



    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:24:47

      “99% of it all happened when we were little boys.”

      uh when you were circumsized? LOL



      • zorro
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:35:24




      • Neecy
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 03:52:27

        sooooo you’re just not going to tell me?



      • zorro
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 04:01:51

        There is no way I can summarize two chapters of a book, certainly not here at work when the book is at home. It centers around how children learn to deal with the world around them, a world overwhelmingly populated with FEMALE authority figures, and how all people learn the most successful behavioral patterns…without them being taught. They’re called “paradigms.” And men who behave like men overwhelmingly had many healthy male role models.

        There are almost none for us to learn from today. And masculine behavior has all but been outlawed by feminist bullshit and their ball-hold on the political left. It’s all in the book.



      • Matt
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 05:06:52


        What I’m about to write is un-politically correct heresy.

        The core of the Nice Guy, feminized man problem is that, to most men, it simply does not feel safe to be men. This message starts from when a boy is very young (even before they go to school for the first time) and is reinforced almost for the rest of their life.

        Boys have a natural desire to explore. To test all their boundaries. You see this with baby boys and girls. Girls will be much easier to deal with than boys. Fathers, being men, know how to deal with young boys. However, since they are either at work or, as is becoming more common, simply not in the baby’s life at all, the boy is left to be raised by the mother. (An addition to this is that people look at a grown man with little kids like he’s a pedophile by default, so many grown men are simply starting to avoid kids as a safety mechanism). Mothers do not understand that boys act like this and don’t know how to deal with it, so they start punishing the boy for stepping out of line. After awhile the boy is left with a sense that their mother doesn’t love them at some level, so they start trying to hide their … exuberance. Gradually, they try to become more like girls to get their mother’s approval.

        Then they get into school. There, they’ll probably have a female teacher who will also not know how to deal with boys. But, now they’ll be compared with little Susie, who is a model student and always gets the teacher’s attention and praise. So they start trying to be like little Susie and to take on her traits. Slowly, but surely, over many, many years, the boy starts to stamp out all vestiges of being male in order to win the validation of all women (teachers, potential girlfriends, mother, etc).

        As the boy gets older he’ll start to live for acceptance. He’ll have many friends, but nobody that’s close. He’ll feel more comfortable around women than men. He’ll feel abandoned all the time and unloved. All confrontation will have to be eliminated in order to be loved and appreciated by other people. Eventually, this desire to be loved and accepted will be internalized and turn to self-hatred. He’ll hate that he’s a man and believe that since he is kind and caring and sensitive (all traditionally female traits), that he’s better than other men, also known as “jerks” or “assholes”.

        The “Nice Guy” has been told almost their entire life that there is something wrong with them simply because they are not girls. They act as boys do and they get in trouble for it. Most of these boys are put on Ritalin because, surprise!, the symptoms of ADD are conveniently the same as the symptoms of boyhood.

        This problem is exacerbated by the fact that we have almost no positive male role-models in pop-culture. Books that have strong male role models are either not allowed in schools, or are strongly discouraged, because the themes in them are violent. My English teacher tried to prevent me from reading Lord of the Rings because of “all the violence”. Never mind that Aragorn and Gandalf are good examples of being a man. “To Kill A Mockingbird” was discouraged in my high school because it had racism in it. Never mind that Atticus Finch is, arguably, one of the greatest male characters ever written (ironically by a woman).

        Out of everything that’s on television right now, the only positive male role-models I know of are the male characters on NCIS. That show has every single male role on it. Gibbs plays the stoic protector, DiNozzo plays the prankster with the heart of gold, Ducky as the kindly old man and McGee as the studious educated man. All of them are well characterized and none of them are incompetent. But boys won’t see them until long after they’ve hit adolescence and by that time it’s to late.

        I could write at length about this, but you should see the pattern that’s starting to emerge. Men are told, repeatedly, that we are bad simply because we are male. This is why both myself and one other gentleman reacted the way we did to the animal comment in one of your other posts. It’s not that you were being cruel, it’s that we have heard it so often that we don’t want to see it again. Ever.

        Viewed in this light, the rise of the Nice Guy, the emergence of Game, the hostility to all things Feminist, the indifference towards women, etc. should start to become clear. It is also clear evidence that Feminism is wrong. Single mothers can’t raise men. They are ill-equipped to do so. The evidence is all around us now.

        “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover explains all of this. Another good book on the topic is “Boys Adrift” by Dr. Leonard Sax. Dr. Glover’s book details the Nice Guy issue as it relates to finding love and romance, while Dr. Sax’s book comment’s more on the overall problem, the causes of it and how to fix it.



      • Zorro
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 13:20:24

        Okay, Matt, that whole NCIS business was genius. You are exactly, precisely correct.

        Don’t even get me started on Atticus Finch. To Kill a Mockingbird is my 2nd favorite novel of all time (Moby Dick is #1). And Gregory Peck was in BOTH films.

        Dude. Seriously. You and me. A bottle of Glenfiddich. Some time to rap about film and books.

        You have just become my personal god.

        NEECY: Hand soff BUCKO! Matts mine! lol



      • Neecy
        Aug 13, 2011 @ 16:44:36

        Oh and to Kill a mockingbird was an excellent read. I also saw the movie. I read the book in college.



    • zorro
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 05:12:42


      I hope I live long enough to meet you and buy you a drink!!! And I’m glad Neecy has someone else here who knows how to read a book. Glover hit the nail on the head with Mr. Nice Guy, and your description is awesome.




    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 19:07:38

      WOW Matt thank you so much for breaking it down. I guess as a woman I simply didn’t see these patterns being placed on young men so early on. It all makes sense. Women do play a very visible role in males lives very early on. And even if there is nothing sinister at play here, after you have explained it, it does have a major effect on manhood and how most men try to move through life appeasing everyone but themselves and their natural tendencies as men.

      In feminist cultured societies males who exhibit the “nice guy” qualities and who are female friendly are often touted as what women should want and need. I think we’re starting to see the results of such appeasing – the nice guys are finishing last when it comes to women. They are being told to cater to women and be sensitive, kind and caring and then they see women falling over themselves to get to the guys who are doing the opposite.

      I’m not sure how to change this? I also wonder why males in general haven’t had their own uprising – I guess the game blogs are creating this? I can tell you that eventually when women are not getting the weddings, babies and picket houses with fences from men is when I believe changes will happen. Right now its convenient for women to simply follow lust and excitement and reward the losers b/c they feel they have a “nice guy” waiting in the wings later on. But when the nice guys leave is when shit will change. Until then its going to get a lot worse for women before it gets better.

      I think its very selfish for women or a society to strip genders of what makes them progress naturally.

      I can tell you that I most certainly will never support any female raising any child alone. EVER. There is nothing like male authority. I even see it with animals – dogs especially. It seems animals like dogs are more inclined to listen to the male owners much more readily than female owners.

      Anyone who wants living proof of how a society/community fails horribly when males are not in the lives of their children, or when females have a total hand in raising males AND females, can look no further than the American Black community. Black Americans have 70% of children being born and raised into single unwed mother homes with little to no male authority or figures in these males and females lives. I currently see this trend seeping into larger non Black society due to its very strong hold on feminism.

      Coming from a race/culture/community where 70% of its children are born out of wedlock to single mothers and where young Black men have only female role models I see the destructive patterns that happen.

      I always say, if God wanted women or men to raise kids alone, he would allow for males and women to get pregnant on their own. The fact is it takes a male and female to create a child and it takes a male and female to raise a healthy child.

      I can’t remember where I read this, but on a blog this guy posted about a specific group of animals in Africa and how the female animals have the boys until a certain point and then after a certain age the male animals take over to complete or finish the raising of the males. I can’t remember if it was elephants. I wish I could find it. It basically outlined that when these adolescent male animals somehow escaped being raised by the males, they were more likely to kill and hurt their own species and die very early. I believe it may be elephants.

      I believe that once males stop marrying in droves is when we may see changes. Who knows maybe these game blogs are on the cusp of a new revolution to change things? LOL God help us!



      • Arawn
        Aug 13, 2011 @ 06:21:35

        “I always say, if God wanted women or men to raise kids alone, he would allow for males and women to get pregnant on their own. The fact is it takes a male and female to create a child and it takes a male and female to raise a healthy child.”

        According to this all mammals and birds should rase their offspring together. Actually, most of them just don’t.

        And what comes to babies, men have practically NEVER taken any part in raising babies and toddler no matter were they boys or girls. It was sole responsibility of mothers and other female relatives and/or nannies to raise young children. It’s only now that men have started to look after babies, too. Here in my town I see all the time fathers strolling streets with baby carriages or carrying their babies on their backs. Generation of my father didn’t do that. It’s rather ironic that while there are now much more fathers taking care of their babies there’s also a lot more children without father at all.



      • Neecy
        Aug 13, 2011 @ 16:43:05


        i guess the main point I was making was that children make out best when they are raised in a two parent home with a father figure around. He may or may not necessarily do a ton of things with them, but the fact he is there and has some influence provides a ton of benefits to any child. Of course this is only in cases of a healthy family environment where there is no abuse or craziness in the household.



  2. zorro
    Aug 11, 2011 @ 22:25:55

    Slightly OT:


    Susannah Breslin is a woman blogger at Forbes online. Today, she points out why feminism is now an open joke.

    Good news for us all, and for feminine women like you, Missus Neecus!



  3. Liza207
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 04:01:03

    Neecy, I love it, so tongue in cheek. I’ll comment some more later.



  4. Mark Slater
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 05:32:36

    Matt, I am disappointed you do not have a blog of your own! Truly good stuff.

    So you see, Miss Neecy, many men are having to re-learn manhood all over again. Especially wimps and weenies (your “effeminates”).

    As for the smooth-talking lotharios (“machismos”). They are not immune from heartbreak, either. They will often fall for a girl; and being the sort of girl that falls for the machismos/hyper-masculine type, these men will find unhappiness. And so the cycle continues for the macho as he searches for his next conquest. That or he will become the misogynist.



    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 19:16:24

      “Matt, I am disappointed you do not have a blog of your own! Truly good stuff.”

      EXACTLY – MAtt get to it! We need changes now!

      “As for the smooth-talking lotharios (“machismos”). They are not immune from heartbreak, either. They will often fall for a girl; and being the sort of girl that falls for the machismos/hyper-masculine type, these men will find unhappiness. And so the cycle continues for the macho as he searches for his next conquest. That or he will become the misogynist.”

      Also another byproduct of What happens with machismos is many are often raised by women with very little male influence. when women are left to raise boys alone we see a lot women who are scorned and bitter about being left behind by men taking their frustrations and anger out on their sons. These women will often have many males in and out of their lives and set the tone for promiscuity. Their sons grow up thinking women are like their mothers (who slept around) and didn’t require male stability in their lives and they become exact figures of the types of men their mother allowed in her life (and even pro created with); men who don’t stick around and who just use women for sexual pleasure.

      Those sons in return start hating women b/c of the way their mothers treated them and raised them. There also may be some resentment towards these women later b/c the son never had a chance to have a father or male figure in their life. They become male replicas of their single moms who slept their way to find love. Its so sad. I understand things happen and people have kids and they can’t and always don’t stay together. But that is all the more reason for people to make sure the person they are marrying and pro creating with is the right person.

      I believe there needs to be more PRE MARRIAGE counseling before people jump into marriage. If we had that, people would have better expectations of what marriage requires and needs for people to stay together beyond the infatuation point.



  5. Maya
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 07:31:07


    “Books that have strong male role models are either not allowed in schools, or are strongly discouraged, because the themes in them are violent. My English teacher tried to prevent me from reading Lord of the Rings because of “all the violence”. ”

    Men like violence? What about killing?

    It’s hard for me to imagine how does it feel like. I can’t even imagine hurting an animal (I’m a vegetarian because I can’t put up with how we treat animals today). Also, I can’t imagine anything more disgusting on this planet than wars are.

    On the other side, I noticed once that I found it totally sexy when I’ve heard a man talking about how he hit another man. I was surprised because on the rational level I knew that hitting someone is a bit over the top and inappropriate, but on the emotional level I felt it’s totally cool.



    • zorro
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 07:43:51

      Men do not like violence. We are much more likely to be on the receiving end than women are.

      Men like (love!) competition. And stories offer great amount of dramatics surrounding the kind of dominance hierarchies in which men live.

      Matt’s silly English teacher called LOTR violent. Yeah. Elves can be such serial killers.



  6. zorro
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 08:31:54

    “…there has been no real men’s movements to tell men to act like women and start tucking their penises between their thighs…”

    Actually there is, and I tried. However, I was born with puny little thighs and I just don’t have what it takes to adequately hide my–ahem–man meat.

    I’m white. I’m Irish. It’s not my fault.



    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 19:19:07

      “Actually there is, and I tried. However, I was born with puny little thighs and I just don’t have what it takes to adequately hide my–ahem–man meat.

      I’m white. I’m Irish. It’s not my fault.”

      OH MY! Didn’t know the irish had it like that! LOL



  7. PermanentGuest
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 09:47:23

    “Why are so many men today just clueless as to how to be a man?”

    There’s simply a lack of male role models. The bigger problem, I would argue, is there is a lack of motivation or necessity. When being a real man is shunned in all circles, added with men being told and treated like they’re unnecessary, then there’s an incentive to fold your hand.

    For a young boy, Hollywood (fight to win the girl) and the classroom (submit and please me!) are all he knows. Where is that male role model to come from? If he finds one, then who’s reality, the man’s or society’s, will be more dominant?

    For one, I think every man has to find his own personal path to becoming and being a man, so the role model isn’t to be carbon copied, but rather to motivate. But generally speaking, we see themes of challenge, conflict, passion (what you were born to do), etc.

    If any male posters are interested, The Quest For Maleness by Theun Mares is the most solid book I’ve found on the subject of masculinity. It’s a quick, conversational read packed with info. He also has a version for females, which also hit.



    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 19:21:21


      Yes I believe the media has played a very strong role in how males identify themselves – and I don’t believe it has been in a good way. I also believe the media further pushes women to the wrong kinds of males.

      It would seem that some males who see the bigger picture would start creating their own ways to reach young males?



      • PermanentGuest
        Aug 12, 2011 @ 23:52:49


        Best way is to lead by example. In a backwards society, boys suppress their urges to be men because they don’t think it’s acceptable. Paradoxically they may need to see someone “break the rules” before they’re comfortable in the idea.

        I would say ‘game’ is a close example of the structure of reaching out to those who don’t get it, but sadly 90% of game is misguided and done for profit.



      • Neecy
        Aug 13, 2011 @ 05:25:39

        What do you mean Game is done for profit? You mean people charge to teach males how to game?

        If so, i think that’s not cool. You would think men would want to do whatever it took to get those left in the dark up to speed to benefit all men. I guess the fact that Heartiste has a blog where he offers the info for free is a good thing. He’d doing it from the heart. LOL Imagine that!



      • PermanentGuest
        Aug 14, 2011 @ 17:16:54

        By ‘profit’ I mean that a lot of it is commercialized, dressed-up approval seeking behaviour. The typical carrot-and-stick approach.



      • Neecy
        Aug 15, 2011 @ 19:08:59

        OK Got ya. Its almost like its become cliche…



  8. Liza207
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 17:11:01

    “Why are so many men today just clueless as to how to be a man?”

    As I see it, it’s generational. It appears that men that were raised at the time of the feminist movement – Generation X (the term generally includes people born in the latter half of the 1960s through the late ’70s, sometimes as late as the early ‘80s, usually no later than 1981 or 1982). These are the men that are having the most issues with their masculinity.

    The Baby Boomer Generation (people born 1946 through 1964; Pre- Feminism) of men don’t seem to issues with their masculinity for the most part.

    It is interesting most the men commenting here are white males and GenXers I assume due to the way you described your experiences growing up. It seemed that your mothers were more instrumental in shaping your views of manhood. Either because you grew up in a single parent household headed up by a woman (often due to divorce) and her teaching you to suppress or curtail your most masculine traits and I’m also guessing that you were also taught to treat women as equals and that woman love sensitive guys who treat them like princesses too, right? Or your fathers were present in the home but he had a very little influence because your mothers were constantly intervening, so this was preventing him from having the full influence he needed to shape your manhood the right way—that’s assuming that he was a real man at all. I have seen this scenario played out in real life, where the very masculine father would attempt to teach his son how to be a man– he was sometimes harsh but that’s what the kid needed. The mother would often intervene and complain that the father was being too hard on her “baby” (who was a teenager at the time), so after a while the father just got fed up and just left the son to the mother. And of course, the results were disastrous the son is so effeminate and weak that the father wants nothing to do with him and he is in his twenties now.

    In the black community the GenXer males were mostly raised by women as most of you know. Black women were not fully involved in the feminist movement because fighting racism was at the forefront for most black women. So, when raising their sons as mostly single mothers and the woman’s movement having very little influence on them. Black mothers felt that the only way their sons would survive well in the American was to not allow them suppress any of their male inherited traits. They were free to act out and feel very male impulse they wanted without very little intervention from their mothers or anyone. They weren’t being taught that women were equals and that they should be sensitive or that women should be treated like princesses. And with no real male or positive male influences to shape and mold them, most of them never learned how to be real men as a result. What we have are the men, Neecy, described as the machismos/hyper-masculine men. They are just emulating what they believe is authentic male behavior but it’s not– it’s a caricature.

    It seems that white and black males of Generation X are at either ends of the spectrum in terms of masculine behavior. And both are very confused about what real manhood entails.

    This has always fascinated me when comparing these two groups of men and I wanted to share.



    • Neecy
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 19:32:01

      “It seems that white and black males of Generation X are at either ends of the spectrum in terms of masculine behavior. And both are very confused about what real manhood entails.This has always fascinated me when comparing these two groups of men and I wanted to share.”

      YES Liza. I am seeing something here. It seems White males were most affected directly by Feminism which told men that they should be sensitive, kind and caring to women and treat her like a Queen. As a result you see more White males willing to marry and meet their women halfway b/c this is how they were raised – to be the nice guy, the sensitive guy and compassionate guy towards his race of women. The end result (which we are seeing today) is the nice guys are finishing last. More and more women are spending the best years of their lives being promiscuous and rewarding their youth and beauty with the very guys that are complete opposites of what many White males were raised to believe women avoided. Feminists told White males to be a certain way and now many White males are seeing that way is not really what women are responding to.

      OTOH you have Black males which as you stated who were not as directly affected by feminism but more so racism. Black women never really joined the White American feminism tour b/c Black women often felt it was more important to fight for racial equality. As a result, Black men weren’t told to treat women with kindness and compassion but rather to exude extreme masculine traits – hence the thugs and bad boys. Black men are encouraged to be hypermasculine by everyone – their communities and larger society. AS a result these kinds of males typically father many out of wedlock kids and are never punished for this behavior – it is expected for Black men to be sexually promiscuous “by nature”. However, the Black men who were the good guys and nerds were left out as well.

      Its just a big mess!



    • Zorro
      Aug 14, 2011 @ 18:47:16

      “What we have are the men, Neecy, described as the machismos/hyper-masculine men. They are just emulating what they believe is authentic male behavior but it’s not– it’s a caricature.”

      Bravo. And I suspect it’s primarily driven by popular culture…to disastrous results.



      • Neecy
        Aug 15, 2011 @ 19:08:04

        POP Cultue today is terrible and so unoiginal. I believe its the leading cause to a lot of social disasters we see today.



  9. Emma the Emo
    Aug 14, 2011 @ 09:45:04

    I like your list of traits a masculine man would have. I think it would be wrong to say that all those traits are more masculine that feminine though… What I mean is, when someone says that “trustworthy” is a masculine trait, it kind of implies the opposite (being untrustworthy) is feminine. In my life I met both female and male liars/traitors in about the same amounts, so trustworthiness and honesty aren’t masculine traits to me. Same goes for self discipline and adaptability. But it’s just semantics. One good trait that is more masculine than feminine is bravery and fearlessness :). Women are more careful about dangerous situations and their heath.



    • Neecy
      Aug 15, 2011 @ 19:00:58

      True a lot of the traits I listed can be found in both male and female. I guess those are traits that I consider to be supeme and fo any man to have them in my eyes makes him the epitome of masculinity.



  10. Marellus
    Aug 14, 2011 @ 14:39:34

    Neecy et al.

    A real man is someone that has gone through the major trials of life and reached the other with humility and humor. Think of Nelson Mandela and Anwar Sadat. Others seem to finish their trials in a state a disillusionment, harping on a return to the status quo ante . I’d put Robert Mugabe here. And then there are others who end theirs covered in blood, suffused in a hard-nosed cynicism that is seductive … think Lucky Luciano or Hymie Weiss.

    And then there are those that live a charmed life, to whom success appears to come easily. They tend to become self-righteous, self-important, and ossified in their thinking. When success finally gives them their final and greatest opportunity, they tend to bugger it up. Think of Genl. Joe Hooker, Juan Peron, Publius Quinctilius Varus and Gaius Terentius Varro.

    Then there are the Utopians. The men that strive for a better world. The men that say : “Here is how people should be, how do we change them ?” These men are dangerous. And the only men that can beat them are those that say :”Here is how people are, how do you deal with it ?” But the victory comes at too great a cost. And with the former I’d select Fidel Castro and Salvador Allende. And for the latter I’d pick Augusto Pinochet.

    But the question is how to bring forth a body of men that embodies all those noble qualities you write about. It will require help from religion and the economy.

    And with religion I mean a set of principles that tends to make the type of man who tends to be magnanimous in war. During the Anglo Boer War in South Africa (1899-1902) the Boers gave the British the chance to remove their wounded from the battlefield. It was called “quarter”. And now you know where the phrase “no quarter asked, nor given” comes from.

    The British were quite impressed with this. It was something they had not seen before.

    There were even incidents where the Boers and Brits were on the opposing hills and blasting merrily at one another with cannon. So the most gentlemanly thing they then did, was to show their opponents where the shells fell by raising flags there. And on Sundays there was no fighting, because both armies were at church …

    But I doubt if there is such a religion in existence today. Christian Fundamentalism has the desire for it, but their demands for “faith plus works” to enter heaven, will ultimately mean “pray and shoot” to enter heaven. And yet they are powerful, and they will get even more powerful. And that is because they are making more babies than their more liberal antagonists.

    And why is this the case when the Protestant Reformation was started by Martin Luther saying that man is saved by faith alone ? If you add works to the creed, you can make money out of it.

    But in the economic sphere there is hope :

    After all if the men can gain meaningful employment, a lot of problems in relationships can be resolved. Not all, but most of them. And in this regard the solutions appear to be easy. I am going to quote from the following article, and the link is right below :


    July 18, 1996
    Testimony of: Martin A. Armstrong
    Chairman Princeton Economic Institute
    214 Carnegie Center
    Princeton, NJ 08540

    Mr. Chairman, members of the committee. I would like to thank you for inviting me here today to offer what information PEI has gathered from our experience in dealing with the multinational corporate and institutional sector of the global economy. As a brief background, PEI maintains offices in the US, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Sydney and London. We currently provide corporate and institutional advice under contract on global assets exceeding US$2.5 trillion, an amount equal to about half of the US national debt.

    In our capacity as an advisor serving the international community in real live decision making rather than theory, PEI may be uniquely qualified in providing insight as to how and why both investment and business capital flows are affected by a nation’s domestic policy objectives.
    It has been our experience, that there are five key factors that provide the core stimulus behind capital flows internationally.

    1) Foreign Exchange
    2) Taxation
    3) Labor Costs
    4) Inflation & Interest Rates
    5) Security (geopolitical & financial)

    Foreign Exchange fluctuations have become the number one cause of corporate losses. The percentage movement in the exchange value of currencies has become as high as 40% over a two year period. Exchange losses have impacted every sector of business in every nation to the point that the very way multinationals operate today is dramatically shifting from that of only 10 years ago. Multinationals have been forced to change pricing policy as well as the location of manufacture in an effort to reduce extreme financial risks for their shareholders.

    The second most important factor influencing net capital flow movement is none other than taxation. However, taxation is more than a pure income tax. Taxation contributions imposed on business based upon social objectives for labor are of greater importance than the mere superficial level of corporate income tax rates alone.

    It is wrong to assume that manufacturing jobs flow to merely the lowest possible labor cost. If this were true, then all manufacture should be conducted in Mexico, South East Asia or better still – Africa. In our capacity as a corporate advisor helping to make such strategic decisions as to where companies should or should not locate, there are 5 primary considerations that go into the final decision process.

    1) Rule of Law
    2) Labor Skill availability
    3) Taxation Contributions Required on Labor
    4) Corporate Tax Rate
    5) Regulation

    We have clients who have turned down what appeared to be lucrative business ventures in 3rd world nations as well as Russia or China based upon the lack of a Rule of Law that is required to secure the capital at risk. Without a solid Rule of Law, business cannot operate. Such ventures that do develop in those parts of the world depend upon government guarantees from
    their native country of origin in an effort to underwrite the political risk at hand.

    While it is obvious that labor costs are closely associated with labor skills, what is largely overlooked are the social taxation and regulations associated with a work force. We found Asian companies who wished to open manufacturing plants within the EC made their decision based upon the level of skills available and then secondly choose the lower total cost of labor. For example, the UK attracted more than 40% of all foreign investment into Europe due to the fact that it had a skilled labor force but its cost was much less compared to that of Germany or France. This cost factor was determined not by mere wages, but included the social taxation that companies were required by law to provide. On that score, the labor costs in the UK were 40% less than Germany.

    When a company did NOT require a major work force but instead merely needed a legal entity within the EC, then the primary deciding factor became the corporate tax rate. While the UK corporate tax rate was 19% less than Germany, they were still more than twice that of nations such as Spain and Ireland. Therefore, corporate headquarters or low skilled labor requirements tended to gravitate to the lowest possible corporate rate within the EC. This is illustrated by the impressive Irish economic growth rates of 9% compared to European economic growth rates of 2.5%. We have found that there is a correlation between high unemployment and high total taxation and regulation costs across Europe today.

    Of course, regulation was a major factor as well. This we can see within our own US borders as well. Southern States are activity competing for Northern corporations and jobs. If we look at those states where regulation is the least intrusive and taxation is the most favorable, you will find the highest number of corporate relocations and new foreign business ventures within the United States.

    Domestic Taxation policy must take into consideration our new global economy. We must be sensitive to being competitive not merely on labor costs, but also on the total taxation and regulation costs if we hope to avoid the dismal European example with its chronic unemployment in excess of 10% year after year. We must also keep in mind that taxation itself is largely influenced by philosophical decisions made by governments without considering the true total economic impact. For this reason, taxation has been a major factor in altering world capital flows as well as economic growth levels. When the US corporate tax rate hit nearly 70% during 1968-1969, virtually every American company began shifting manufacture offshore. Today, over 65% of the US trade deficit is made up of US companies importing their own goods manufactured somewhere else. In fact, if we allocate world trade according to the flag a company flies instead of the last port of assembly, you will find that the US has a net trade surplus in excess of $150 billion.

    If the purpose of this Committee is to fairly reflect upon how our tax code can be used to attract jobs and stimulate economic growth rather than employ gimmicks such as currency manipulation, special one-off tax deals or deny the damage that Marxism has created in the postwar world, then it is clear from our ” experience that there can be several important conclusions.

    1) End the discrimination against long-term investment by at least allowing capital gains to be indexed to inflation retroactively.

    2) Promote honest reform of the Social Security System whereas contributions made should be privately managed as is the case in many other nations. The Postal Savings System in Japan actually has on deposit in real funds nearly $10 trillion which is then managed by the private sector under the watchful eye of government. This will help reduce the cost of labor in the US, create jobs through increased savings, and result in lower payroll tax contributions for business over the long-term.

    3) Eliminate the taxation on government bonds.

    4) Eliminate the personal income tax and replace it with a national sales tax of 10%.

    5) Reduce the corporate tax rate to 15% matching Hong Kong. Allow interest paid to be deducted as a part of the cost of doing business.

    And now Neecy, all you really need to know is this. There are men that you never let in through your front door, and then there are men that you take to the living room, and finally a few that you take to the bedroom. Which one am I ?! Why Neecy, I’m the one you’re gonna take to the kitchen. Start making the lasagna …



    • Neecy
      Aug 15, 2011 @ 19:04:58

      Interesting post Marellus. You are right all men cannot and will not eve be monolithic just like all women can neithe be monolithic and alike. But the key thing is as long as men carry the basic traits of what is deemed masculine, then it works across the board.

      “Why Neecy, I’m the one you’re gonna take to the kitchen. Start making the lasagna …”

      Well Zorro sayyyyys I don’t *have* to cook anything, that he is gonna do all the cooking and even the cleaning afterwards (lol j/k I’m being a naughty gil tying to start something). Plus I can’t make lasagna 😦



  11. Zorro
    Aug 14, 2011 @ 21:00:23

    Two little things:

    I’m sorry; I can’t resist.

    To compliment is to praise a characteristic in another person (e.g., “Wow. You’ve got a really nice ass.”).

    To complement is to form the opposite in a yin/yang relationship; to be strong where your partner is weak, etc. (e.g., “Tom is not very good at personal finance, so Debby [a CPA] really complements him.”).

    One other thing: Do you want me to use the email for this web site to send you the Amazon card? Because by 2:30 am, you’re getting it.



  12. Zorro
    Aug 15, 2011 @ 15:20:14

    One little detail you should know about The Woman Racket. The writer is British, and most of the stuff he talks about and evidence he cites is centered in the U.K. That does not invalidate his premise, nor the science (evolutionary psychology) behind it.

    It is completely applicable to the U.S. and everywhere else. Don’t frustrate yourself with the Britishness of his argument.



  13. Firepower
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 16:16:27


    should it be renamed “LUST” at first sight. How the heck can you love someone you don’t know but see? But come on ladies you gotta admit that the thought gets the gina juices flowing NO?

    its a great thing for a girl to admit shes liberated enough to choose guys looks as her primary reason in picking guys to do



    • Neecy
      Aug 31, 2011 @ 16:36:04

      (Darnit FP You should have posted this in the hump day post where the quote came from. not sure how to move it. oh well) lol

      Do you think women don’t have physical parameters FP? A lot of guys seem to believe this for some reason. We may not be *AS* visually sceptical as men are, but we are still visual and want to feel attraction to the men we choose to be intimate with. Is that a bad thing?



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