GINA TINGLE of the day…..

MONOGAMY.

Oh yeah baby, say it louder! LOUDER!! LOUDER!!!! Aaaaahhhhhhh!!! I think I need a ciggie. That was so damn good!

*looks around* Oh hey yall!!!

Ahem, I was just having a little tryst with the word MONOGAMOUS. It seems to bring out orgasmic shrieks of pleasure in me at just the mere thought or mention of it.

Yeah I am a pro Monogy gal. I believe in it to the fullest.

*I’m ranting please beware!!! clicking on RANT button*

So today I happened upon one of my guilty pleasures (Heartiste) and the focus of the day was about a guy and his friend having a discussion about Monogamy. The one guy (I guess he would be considered a “BETA” round those parts b/c he currently likes only the pubic hair of his current g/f) was talking to a friend who loves playing the field and sees monogamy as “seeing only one color of pubic hair the rest of ones life” (that’s a bad thing to him). So it got me thinking. WTH is it about Monogamy that makes men clutch their pearls..I mean jewels.. Oh what the hell we’re adults here .. TESTES?

Why do people cheat? I mean REALLY why do people cheat? I think back to my early years and I did cheat once. It was on a b/f who I had found out cheated on me. I was so outraged. I wanted revenge. But I felt so incredibly guilty that I ended up telling my b/f I cheated on him. One day out the blue I just told him – crying uncontrollably. He was mortified and in pure rage. And I remember thinking – Uuuuh you were caught cheating on me and somehow I was supposed to get over it? But now that he was the unfortunate beneficiary of being cheated on, it was somehow WORSE?

People cheat for a number of reasons. Sometimes for revenge. Sometimes being cowardly and unable to break it off with the person they fall out of love with. Other times they do it b/c they just can. Sometimes it just “happens”. But many times its simply done out of pure selfishness. I also noticed in the discussion section at Heartiste’s and just in the real world in general, that men feel monogamy is only for women to uphold while men who do it “are just doing it for a piece of arse” and yet when a woman betrays her lover/bf/hubby its somehow WORSE than when a man does it? Cheating is cheating peeps! The unsuspecting partner is always going to be devastated and ROBBED. Robbed and devastated about what? – well let’s see, the fact they love and trusted their partner, the fact they gave their time, trust, intimacy to a person they loved and believed loved them back? The fact that they are being LIED to by the person they love and trust and share their body with? Not to mention the FACT that you are risking the sexual health of an unsuspecting partner when you cheat.

When men say its okay for them to cheat b/c “its just in their nature” they are disregarding the fact that women have feelings – NO? Yet, men are the only ones with feelings, so when a woman cheats its pure evil? HUH? Feelings are feelings. Anyone who has committed and is doing their part to be a good mate and lover and/or wife/hubby deserves the same in return. I’ve heard some women and a lot of men say that Monogamy is not “natural”. Does anyone here agree with that? What’s not natural about wanting to be the apple of someone’s eyes? What is not natural about wanting to be reciprocated respect, love, honesty, trustworthiness, and FAITHFULNESS? Who in their right mind likes sharing a person they love? Does anyone here believe that women were better equipped to deal with cheating partners simply b/c we’re women? Help me out pleeease, b/c I just don’t understand how anyone cannot feel that ANYONE would not be devastated at being cheated on be it by a man or woman.

I feel its very natural to be monogamous and unnatural to run around sleeping with and lying to someone you supposedly love. What is so natural about that – LYING to unsuspecting partners who are giving you their all and cheating on them? Today both men and women take monogamy as some sort of evil joke. Low caliber shitty women get off on the idea of “stealing someone’s man or husband” or being able to “bed” someone’s b/f, hubby. And men just feel its their right to screw and dabble in all the hotties they can b/c they have penises. YET, when it happens to them – the cheaters (gotta love that thing called KARMA) its suddenly the end of the world. Its like the women who run off with other women’s husbands, only to have that husband leave them for another woman, and suddenly these women feel the world has ended. Did they consider this when they were running off with another woman’s husband?

*someone please pass me some Tylenol and a mai tai to go with it*

Okay so if you don’t believe in Monogamy then why on earth would you find someone to be in a monogamous relationship with just to cheat on them? *Neecy’s light bulb flickers on* Oooooooohhhhh! I know! – its called being a selfish self centered ASSHOLE or ASSETTE! Last I checked there were no laws, nor anything written in the constitution that said every human being HAS to be in a committed monogamous relationship or else. IOW’s its purely voluntary. So why on earth do the people who claim that monogamy is “bad” “Unnatural” or “evil” or “tryna hold a brotha/sister/man/woman down” feel the need to VOLUNTARILY put themselves in a relationship then LIE and cheat b/c “they just can’t help it”?

I remember on another thread Tiger Woods came up and I simply asked why on earth would a husband cheat on his wife when all he has to do is be upfront and honest and go to his wife if he is that unhappy or dissatisfied and simply say “ this is not working, I am not happy, I want to end this relationship and see other people”? Some ARSEWIPE responded that it was quite possible that Tiger or a cheating hubby is not “unhappy with their marriage” but that they just needed some other booty on the side b/c they were “bored”. YES. And this person said this like it was NOTHING, as if I should have just understood this. LOL. This is the attitude.

Breaking up is hard to do. Unless the person scares the living bejeesus out of you that they will immediately or sometime in near or far future turn into the Texas Chainsaw Massacre for you ending a relationship , then you owe it to that person to tell them you are not “in it” anymore and want to see other people. Does that suck? YES. Is the other person going to be devastated? YES. But at least they were not made a fool, lied to and betrayed. It’s the right adult thing to do.

Just the mere thought of me sharing someone I love, adore and see as my better half gives me bad shrills down my body. How does anyone wake up and do this cheating stuff with a str8 face and not have any feelings of guilt about what they are doing to an unsuspecting partner? And how does that other shitty human being who is helping the cheater be a cheater by cheating with them and knowing the cheater has a lover/wife/g/f/hubby/b/f carry on without feeling like a piece of shit? I just don’t get it.

Monogamy is a beautiful very natural thing. Its not just for “betas”. Its for decent human beings who understand that they give what they want given back – respect and faithfulness. Screw what pop culture, music and crappy TV shows pedestalize (is that a word?) – cheating is not cute, funny, ok, or progressive. Or in annoying pop culture terms these days: Cheating is not the new monogamy.

But it – MONOGAMY – is not for the asshole or asshette at heart. *Clicking off RANT button*

Advertisements

78 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Zorro
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 05:57:34

    You can have all the sex you want if sex is what you want. But if you want to understand love like the Troubadours did, you need to devote yourself to a single human heart.

    Monogamy rules! WOOT!

    Like

    Reply

  2. Zorro
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 06:08:43

    Seriously. This whole cheating thing fucking disturbs me. I can understand why men cheat, and I suppose women cheat for the same reasons.

    There’s a book I want to buy, written by a woman, that claims to explain the entire pathology of female cheating.

    http://womensinfidelity.com/

    After I buy it, I’ll give you the blow-by-blow on it. This is kind of personal to me, because my nephew, who dated a smokin’ hawt Italian chick for six years–then married her–is now being divorced by her after eight months of marriage, because <i?she is fucking a 45-year old guy (she’s 26).

    What. The. Fuck. ?!.

    I need to understand why people don’t know how to love.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 16, 2011 @ 15:13:39

      I feel so bad for your nephew. He invested a lot of time in that relationship – 6 YEARS! Why did he wait so long to marry her? maybe signs were there that she was probably not mariage material before the wedding?

      Either way, i wish him the best. I cannot imagine being married to someone who then turns around and cheats on me. ULTIMATE betrayal.

      Like

      Reply

    • Jock E Strap
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 14:39:54

      Least she can’t really take him to the cleaners after 8 months she was an amateur.

      Jock E Strap

      Like

      Reply

  3. Zorro
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 06:18:17

    Another book that is central to this discussion is Why Women Have Sex, by Cindy M. Meston, Ph.D., and David M. Buss, Ph.D. It’s on my shelf, I haven’t read it yet, but it’s all about why women decide they’ll–ahem–copulate with a man.

    Apparently there are numerous reasons.

    Like

    Reply

  4. Marellus
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 13:44:58

    Neecy.

    So what is your opinion on this woman’s experiences ?

    It was seven or eight years ago and I was going through a period of abstinence from sex. I know, Girl with a one-track mind, trying to be celibate: ironic to say the least. But at the time, I was really fed up with men. I was disappointed with my single status and annoyed by the lack of romance in my life. Every man I met, never seemed to be interested in developing things beyond the physical with me; I was saddened by the emotional gap that I felt needed attention.

    So I made a decision to not have sex for a while; to only sleep with a man, if we were involved more deeply than on a casual basis. Doing this, I figured, would help me meet a better class of man; one that wanted me for my mind and soul, as well as my body. And given my bad choices of men at that point in my life, I thought taking sex off my agenda might help me think more clearly too; that I wouldn’t rush into situations with men that were clearly wrong for me, just because I wanted to fuck them.

    I managed 18 whole months of no sex. Amazing, I know. For me, anyway, given my healthy appetite; but with my quitting cigarettes and drugs in previous years, I figured ‘how hard can it be to quit fucking for a while?’

    Very hard, as it turned out: I was horny ALL the time. The thing about it being on men’s minds every eight seconds? That’s nothing: it was on my mind for each of those other seven seconds too. The thought of sex preoccupied me from wake to sleep; there wasn’t one moment where I didn’t think about it. Let’s just say my hands got to know my nether regions very well.

    ….. (later in the blog ) And that night, after having my insides explored by a doctor, I also finally had them explored by a rather delicious cock: I dragged my friend out to a bar and then bedded some eager young bloke who was only too happy to fulfill my needs.

    This episode in my life made me realise that abstaining from sex is all well and good for some, but for me, it left me unhappy: instead of meeting a decent bloke, I spent 18 months horny and desperately missing sex, only to then get into an embarrassing situation as a result.

    Sometimes monogamy and morality don’t mix methinks …

    Like

    Reply

    • Zorro
      Aug 16, 2011 @ 14:36:44

      It’s just so much fun having you around.

      Like

      Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 16, 2011 @ 15:28:16

      WOW MARELLUS. I went and read the whole post and I have to say at *LEAST* she tried celibacy. I too am celibate for the same reasons she chose to be. And its very true, that being sexless (until you find the right person which is hard these days) increases your appetite for sex DRAMATICALLY. I always joke with my buddies that God help the poor gentlemen that finally gets to enter my nether regions. I hope he has a lot of energy, b/c He’s gonna catch it! LOL; So she is soooo right, You are always thinking about it (sex) when you are not having it. Thankfully, I have a female OBGYN so i have never went through the almost having an orgasm with a male doctor inspecting ,me. LMAO

      But I don’t think the woman’s issue here is monogamy as much as it is celibacy and trying to find balance between her sexual needs and finding a good mate who sees beyond that. It looks as though she has finally settled on sleeping around until she finds that someone is best for her.

      People with really strong sexual appetites like hers may never fully be able to have sexual monogamy with one person. Its those people who need to understand this about themselves and avoid LTR’s or marriage when they know they cannot fully comply with being monogamous to their partner b/c of their dire need for sex from multiple people.

      Like

      Reply

      • Marellus
        Aug 16, 2011 @ 17:14:04

        Point taken … but now I feel afraid of giving you a lapdance … Zorroooooooooooo !!! … put on yer beach speedos !!! … and take yer socks off !!! … I’ll be outside praying for ya … (and don’t forget to bring the lasagna !!!)

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 05:18:37

        Don’t be scared marellus!! I have more than one leg. Zorro can work one lap while you work the other. While he is making the lasagna, you can do the massgaing. See there is enough room for everyone to play. LOL

        Like

        Reply

      • Marellus
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 12:53:48

        … and should I start massaging you, would you know when to stop me ? You’ve answered your own question Neecy. This is how cheating begins : A little banter. Some humor. Then the innuendo. Then the desire. Then the return of desire. And finally that consummation which is tallied in stark statistics. Ultimately Neecy, we are all fools for someone in that vast unsympathetic mass of humanity that looks at you … and really sees you …

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 16:47:03

        “and should I start massaging you, would you know when to stop me ? ”

        Hell No! Who stops someone from massing them? LOL And especially if its a damn good massage – you are going to be kidnapped forever and locked in the closet for future use 😉

        “You’ve answered your own question Neecy. This is how cheating begins : A little banter. Some humor. Then the innuendo. Then the desire. Then the return of desire. And finally that consummation which is tallied in stark statistics. Ultimately Neecy, we are all fools for someone in that vast unsympathetic mass of humanity that looks at you … and really sees you …”

        uh uh uh. I’m a single free woman. I don’t have a partner so I can indulge in my fantacies all I want. 🙂

        Like

        Reply

      • Marellus
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 18:56:21

        Touché, now let’s go and enjoy the lasagna …

        Like

        Reply

      • Marellus
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 19:11:57

        … oh sorry … I’ll uncuff you now now … now where did I put the keys ?! … just hang on for a minute … I’ll be back 🙂

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 18, 2011 @ 04:46:32

        Lasagna? lasagna is too fattening I am trying to lower my carbs! How about organic strawberries and low fat whipped cream? YUMMY! Orrrr. Pineapples? (Hi ZORRO 😉

        Like

        Reply

  5. Liza207
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 14:40:19

    I’ve heard some women and a lot of men say that Monogamy is not “natural”. Does anyone here agree with that?

    I absolutely don’t agree with that but we do struggle with it as men and women. Some many feel that if monogamy was natural for us as humans it would be easier for us to stay faithful to one partner.

    NEECY: i know monogamy for some is a bigger struggle than others. Those people need to recognize that and not enter into monogamous relationships knowing fully well they can’t uphold being faithful to one person. I just think people get caught up in wanting whatever they want despite who they hurt in the process.

    What is not natural about wanting to be reciprocated respect, love, honesty, trustworthiness, and FAITHFULNESS.

    I wouldn’t see the point of getting into a long-term relationship without this.

    Who in their right mind likes sharing a person they love?

    People who aren’t in their right minds, open-marriages and open- relationships are absolutely ridiculous. Why would get married so you can share your partner openly with others? And let’s not forget the swinger idiots – sad. I think these couples are brain-dead and their relationships are epic failures.

    Never understood the swinging thing also never understood the point of marrying and being in an open relationhip? HUH? marriage is NOT a law that has to be done by everyone, so why do people do this. Its mind boggling and weird.

    Does anyone here believe that women were better equipped to deal with cheating partners simply b/c we’re women?

    This is complete and utter bullshit and men attempting to pull the wool over our eyes. But smart women aren’t buying it.

    NEECY: Exactly – cheating is cheating and all unsuspecting partners are devastated emotionally by it – MALE ANNNND FEMALE.

    And men just feel its their right to screw and dabble in all the hotties they can b/c they have penises. YET, when it happens to them – the cheaters (gotta love that thing called KARMA) its suddenly the end of the world.

    Men have imposed this double standard on women for centuries. I am so sick of male entitlement. No man should get a pass from any woman for cheating on her.

    Yes women need to stop saying its in a mans nature to cheat – if it is that doesn’t make it acceptable. i am not sure if men have so much imposed this on women so much as weaker women who have used this excuse to also dabble and cheat. I’m more of the thoughts that women need to stop blaming men for the things we allow and participate in. let’s face it a man can only cheat with the options he has available. For every man that cheats there is a woman on the end participating. When women start having higher standards for themselves, less men are able to cheat.

    ASSETTE!

    I love it.

    So why on earth do the people who claim that monogamy is “bad” “Unnatural” or “evil” or “tryna hold a brotha/sister/man/woman down” feel the need to VOLUNTARILY put themselves in a relationship then LIE and cheat b/c “they just can’t help it”?

    Yeah, if monogamy is not your bag then leave it alone. Rich idiot men like TW are literally paying the price (1/2 of his shit) because they couldn’t help it. LOL!

    And also if I hear that “men love variety” one more time … I’am going to kick something.

    Like

    Reply

    • Zorro
      Aug 16, 2011 @ 15:39:17

      I won’t get into the details, but the preponderance of science behind male-female relationships states quite clearly that neither men nor women are biologically inclined toward monogamy. I support it fully, but it is not a biological construct embedded in our genes. Not yours. Not mine.
      It is purely sociological in its value.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 16, 2011 @ 15:46:52

        Liza, I responded within your post…

        Zorro,

        Really? I would htink it would be the other way around since its human nature to want to feel loved and special to someone.

        Like

        Reply

      • Zorro
        Aug 16, 2011 @ 15:50:48

        “its human nature to want to feel loved and special to someone.”

        You better rethink your notion of what “human nature” is.

        To feel loved and special is not part of human nature. When you remove religion, science, philosophy, culture, and every other artificial construct of human existence, and view human beings as simply biological creatures, we are in fact rather ugly, self-serving things that do not live up to modern standards of human dignity.

        Human beings are animals. It’s all the other stuff that makes us noble and worthy.

        MUAH!

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 16, 2011 @ 16:06:57

        “Human beings are animals.”

        uuuuuuhhh! That’s fighting words round these here parts. You remember what happened last time when I referred to a group of human species as animals eh? LOL

        I guess you’re right Zorro. It probably is human nature to be self serving buttheads until religion, philosophy, socialism, science etc comes into play. i still say these things evolve us as humans and in societies and places where they don’t have those things to evolve them, you have dissarray, poverty, and dire standards of living – and lower life spans.

        Like

        Reply

    • Zorro
      Aug 16, 2011 @ 15:46:50

      One other thing Liza: women cheat on their men wildly more often than men cheat on their women.

      Don’t believe me?

      FACT: over 80% of the human females who ever existed successfully reproduced to pass on their genes to generations living today. Of the human males that ever existed, fewer than 40% passed on their genes. [Is There Anything Good About Men by Dr. Roy Baumeister]. Scientific fact.

      How is this possible if women aren’t getting spunked by a very narrow margin of men?

      Also, read Women’s Infidelity by Michelle Langley.

      http://womensinfidelity.com/

      Sorry cupcake. You’re going to lose this one.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Aug 16, 2011 @ 15:59:55

        Zorro,

        I don’t know about women cheating more but I have read studies that indicate women cheat just as much as men. It’s pretty equal.

        Like

        Reply

      • Liza207
        Aug 16, 2011 @ 16:10:21

        I agree. As human beings, at our core are pretty dispectable . And the more humanity continues more we are going to see our true horrible nature surface. I have observated that human beings year in and year out are becoming more and more uncivilized. The facade is coming down and we are getting uglier and uglier in our behavior towards our fellow humans.

        Like

        Reply

      • Zorro
        Aug 16, 2011 @ 16:15:22

        Yeah. It’s kind of heartbreaking.

        Like

        Reply

      • Arawn
        Aug 18, 2011 @ 13:14:03

        It’s pretty simple, actually: men in power had access to women who were their subordinates. Many powerful men kept mistresses and concubines, servant girls were sexually available for their masters and then there were of course slaves. If a master of a slave girl is fucking her even though she has a “husband” (slaves weren’t allowed to marry officially), is that cheating? Many women bore babies to powerful men before they married someone else.

        And then there’s rape. In old time rape was quite wide spread during raids, battles and war. In old times these kinds of things happened in yearly basis, maybe not in one place but if you take count whole continents then certainly.

        Of course women were cheating, too, but it’s quite impossible to say how widespread that was. You have to remember that cheating was a crime punishable by death so it really doesn’t seem plausible that huge majority of women went around cheating.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 02:59:06

        Hmm good points Arwan. You’re right a lot of women during slavery especially were owned property of MEN and pretty much bore children even if they had no say in the matter.

        Like

        Reply

      • Arawn
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 14:11:20

        You know, no offence, but it’s Arawn, not Arwan. 🙂

        Like

        Reply

    • Liza207
      Aug 16, 2011 @ 16:29:58

      When women start having higher standards for themselves, less men are able to cheat.

      Neecy, this is it. If women went back to employing higher standards for themselves men would start acting accordingly.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 05:21:21

        YEP. I used to always blame the men, but then i realized those men are sticking their watoosies in some woman who most likely knows he’s cheating. Also, i find a lot of women seem to get huge ego boosts from cheating with some other woman’s man – especially if the g/f or wife is very good looking and the jump off is not as attractive. its like some validation. Us women are really messed up and until the day we start demanding better we won’t get it. Women are too busy trying to screw each other over b/c we are so insecure and desperate to one up each other as opposed to sticking together.

        Like

        Reply

      • Liza207
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 13:49:47

        I have also thought if women weren’t always so competitive with one another we would be a lot happier. I can’t imagine living my life always worrying about what other women may have going for them and I don’t – it’s a real waste of time and energy and a miserable existence, in my opinion.

        Like

        Reply

      • Zorro
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 14:40:44

        When Neecy reads The Woman Racket she will learn all about mate poaching and intra-sexual competition. Men and women have never competed against each other. Inter-sexual competition is unnatural and leads to nothing good (feminism). Intra-sexual competition is rampant throughout the natural kingdom. Women compete against other women for men. Men compete against other men for women.

        Get used to it.

        PS: Would you care for some pineapple, Neecy girl?

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 17:00:17

        Yes Liza women are waaay too competitive to the point of female destruction we see today. You’re right. I cannot waste time and energy hating or trying to take away some other woman’s happiness or gains. A smart/wise and secure woman looks at what another woman has and if she desires that she doesn’t try to take what the other woman has, she tries to get that on her own. I have no problem with women emulating certain traits and characteristics of each other to get what they want but when it comes down to backstabbing and trying to always steal soemone else’s joy its beyond pathetic.

        Like

        Reply

  6. Zorro
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 16:06:10

    My personal recipe for happy monogamy: massive quantities of cunnilingus and spankings.

    Play the Pineapple Game. Feed her fresh pineapple morning, noon and night. No proteins. She can have salad, but no cheese, beef, chicken, or any other source of protein. Avoid too much tomatoe (lots of acid). By 10pm her pussy will taste just like PINEAPPLE! YUM YUM!!!!!!! Lick her and lap her. Slide in your finger and make the “Come here” movement. squirt squirt squirt!!!

    Spankings: A woman needs to be infantilized like a girl. You’re the man, she’s the baby-girl. Spank her when she acts up. If she gets out of line, you haul her luscious little bottom over your lap and paddle her! Turn her hienie red like a Christmas bulb. She will love you for it. A woman needs to know she’s cared for and loved. Spankings are the method.

    Lick her pussy till she squirts and spank her.

    Total monogamous bliss!

    Like

    Reply

  7. Emma the Emo
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 16:39:27

    Monogamy might not be natural, but lots of things are natural and bad for us. So saying cheating is fine for men because it’s “in their nature” is such bullshit. Many men are capable of being monogamous without trying too hard, too. And for those that struggle with it, cheating is still inexcusable. You choose to lie or tell the truth, noone is forcing you to. If you think “it just happened”, then you probably have low self control or inability to take responsibility, and don’t deserve any respect.
    Also.. Kind of off-topic, but they say now men are naturally polyamorous and women are naturally hypergamous. If men can become monogamous and be happy with it, can women drop hypergamy and love their equals/inferiors? Maybe it’s not comparable, but makes me wonder…

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 05:36:38

      Emma,

      Yes women have the capacity to not be hypergamous as men have the capacity to be and remain monogamous – even if its supposedly not in our “natures” to be so. There are plenty of women who understand their desires to possibly want a man who she should not want, accept it and understand why its more trouble in some cases to pursue those relations (be it sex or committed) and thus take the path of least resistance to their happiness. I am one of those women. I don’t deny the attractiveness of some males who fall on the side of being most desired by women (for the wrong reasons), but I also understand it for what it is – a lot of times these men don’t have the total package and in the long run its just not worth it to me to tilt my scales off balance and deal with the aftermath of dealing with such desirable YET RISKY males. I also understand temporary pleasure causes more drama for me than it needs to so I just stay away from those men and situations b/c I know myself as a woman.

      Just as there are men who uphold their monogamy yet still see plenty of beautiful women they would probably like to bed or be with. And sometimes these particular kinds of men are directly put in situations where they literally have to make a choice on whether to do the right thing or not. I have seen men like this and i know they exist. I see men who are not so affected by the next piece of hot tail walking by. They just see it for what it is. *shrugs* These men while still having the same desires as all other non monogamous males, are simply able to keep things in perspective and recognize the short term gains of cheating don’t outweigh the long term costs of losing someone he truly loves, respects and wants to remain in his life.

      The problem is not the natural desires, but rather whether individuals can keep things in perspective and stop seeking short term/temporary pleasure at the expense of being patient and working for long term gains instead.

      Like

      Reply

    • Zorro
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 10:59:41

      “So saying cheating is fine for men because it’s “in their nature” is such bullshit.”

      Who says it’s fine?

      “If men can become monogamous and be happy with it, can women drop hypergamy and love their equals/inferiors?”

      Whatever men and women are is the result of silly ridiculous tens of thousands of years of genetic mapping. And it ain’t changing for a loooooooooooooooong time.

      Like

      Reply

  8. Anonymous
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 21:16:07

    blame the media

    no strings attached

    friends with benefits

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 05:50:48

      Hi ANON!

      Yes i abbbbbsolllutley blame media and pop culture for a lot of the dysfunctional ways peopel act today. its really sad. its like nothing has any value anymore. There are more people than not who take their social ques/values from media and pop culture and live their lives accordingly.

      Like

      Reply

    • Marellus
      Aug 21, 2011 @ 13:58:59

      I don’t like Natalie Portman. She is a dangerous woman.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 21, 2011 @ 16:17:55

        LOL

        And mister, can you please help this blogstress out and tell me how you were able to post/embed the actual vid within the post. Thanks!! 🙂

        Like

        Reply

      • Marellus
        Aug 21, 2011 @ 16:58:20

        Copy the link, the whole link, from the address bar on your browser. It’s that thing that starts with http//blablah …. Then just paste it where you need it.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 21, 2011 @ 17:06:40

        Hmmm I tried that but it didn’t seem to work. This worpress admin thing is hard to figure out. Thanks anyway, I’ll keep trying…

        Like

        Reply

  9. n/a
    Aug 16, 2011 @ 23:32:24

    Neecy,

    A man can be *in love* with his girl and still blithely fuck something sweet that comes his way; a woman is out of love, done with her man, when she cheats.

    That’s the difference.

    Like

    Reply

    • Zorro
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 01:10:19

      For reasons I cannot explain, I am impelled to agree with this.

      A man can still have profound feelings for a girl and cheat. A woman is finished with a man when she does.

      I cannot resolve this.

      Like

      Reply

      • Matt
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 02:29:04

        For men, it’s a physical thing. We see a pretty girl , we can want to have sex with her based on nothing else but her looks.

        For women, it’s an emotional thing. There has to be attraction, love, infatuation, etc. If a woman has sex, there’s more to it than just the physical. If she cheats, it’s because the husband/BF is not providing something she needs.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 05:47:47

        Matt/Zorro

        Men cheat all the time for emotional reasons. The only difference is men will up and leave thier wives and families for other women they fall for. How often does this happen? men leaving their children and wife for another woman? A LOT.

        I also believe women too (especially ones with high sexual appetites) have the capacity to cheat purely for lust and ego. If a really hot guy starts paying her some sexual attention, some women get off on that – especially if they feel he is higher status or has a higher SMV than she does or her husband or b/f. They’ll sleep with the guy purely for lust and ego or for validation.

        Like

        Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 05:43:35

      N/A
      I don’t think so all the time. i think some women can also become PURLEY consumed by lust and seek to get sexual satisfaction from some guy outside of thier relationship who turned them on in some way. I remember on another blog a married woman admitted to cheating on her husband with a guy she met online in which they had passionate and good sex once. But then she admitted afterwards, that when he kept trying to have “meet ups” for more sexual encounters she just didn’t want to. Said she preferred her husband and that cheating helped her to realize & understand that. Before she cheated she believed she was missing out. *shrugs* So i think its quite possible for women to cheat purely out of lust and also for men to develop emotional attachments to other women. How do you explain the numbers of men who leave their wives after so many years? That’s not just b/c they found some good sex – these men fell in love with another woman. And these situations (men leaving their wives for other women) happen QUITE often.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 14:11:19

        Neecy, this is so true. Men do leave their families all the time for other women they have fallen in love with. They seem to want to continue to bury their heads in the sand about women and how we are not all that much different from them as they wish we were.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 17:06:19

        Yes men always leave women who have invested a lot in them for other women all the time. So i am not buying the whole when women cheat its worse and more emotional. A lot of men cheat for the same reasons, just as a lot of women cheat for the sexual reasons only as well.

        I will freely admit that being out of the game for so long, I too didn’t realize women were so ruthless in love/dating/sex/mating. Yep I was cut from the cloth of “women are sugar and spice and everything nice” and boys like “snips, and snails and puppy dog tails”. But i am seeing the light. Women aren’t really different from men as I believed us to be. I was raised to be and act like a lady by definition. So of course when i read blogs like Heartiste and such that say women are really cold and ruthless in the sexual marketplace, its hard to come to terms with – even if its proven to be true. But that’s my own personal issue I am overcoming and realizing for myself.

        Like

        Reply

      • Matt
        Aug 17, 2011 @ 19:36:18

        Liza,

        Men have known how ruthless women can be for some time. We tend to have that point driven home in divorce court and the eighteen years or more that follow. But that’s a different topic. It’s naive to think that men over the age of fifteen don’t understand that about women.

        The difference between men and women is the REASON for why the cheating happens. I make no argument that men do leave their families and wives for younger women. Women also do that (read/watch “Eat, Pray, Love” and other shit like it to have that proven). Though it happened so rarely before Feminism that I question if this is actual inborn female behaviour or if it’s learned through trying to be “equal to” (read “the same as”) men.

        Men will cheat simply because a younger woman happened by. The difference is that men can compartmentalize that away from their wife or girlfriend. A man can sleep around while still being in love with their mate. It’s why the phrase “She meant nothing to me” has become such a cliche. This usually happens when a husband isn’t getting sex at home.

        A woman doesn’t do that as often (though yes, it does happen). When a woman cheats, it usually has an emotional backing. For example, the man has begun to act (excuse the terminology) Beta and no longer holds her interest. Or the man has begun to take his wife for granted, she’ll cheat with a man that does treat her right.

        I’m open to being wrong, but everything I’ve ever observed (I’ve been cheated on) and everything I’ve ever read has said that it’s the same behaviour, but different reasoning.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 18, 2011 @ 04:48:31

        Matt,

        Who was the dumb *(#&#^@&$%&^$)!()(!(**#&*@^$%^@%$!$!$!!!!! That cheated on you?! Is she nuts?!

        Like

        Reply

  10. Liza207
    Aug 17, 2011 @ 20:53:34

    Hi Matt,

    The fact of the matter is, cheating is unacceptable, therefore, it doesn’t matter what the circumstances involved were that caused someone to do so. Or that men and women are hard-wired a certain way, therefore, we cheat for different reasons. Can we agree on that?

    Yes, I know that men are better at compartmentalizing their emotions than women are but once again that doesn’t matter – cheating is cheating. It is as simple as that to me.

    Like

    Reply

    • Matt
      Aug 17, 2011 @ 21:51:32

      Liza,

      I make no excuse for why people cheat. Cheating is a disgusting, vile betrayal of one whom you are supposed to love and care for. You will get no argument from me.

      The reasoning that men and women use to explain their indiscretions I find interesting both because it is telling of the person that did the cheating, and it displays the gender gap. That is what I find fascinating.

      I’ve been cheated on before and will never inflict that kind of damage on any lady I’m with. A few minutes of pleasure is not worth what the other person will have to suffer.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Aug 18, 2011 @ 01:23:09

        Matt,

        It really sucks that you were cheated on. You sound like a pretty decent guy.

        To me, cheating is the ultimate form of betrayal and once that happens there is no way back.

        Like

        Reply

  11. n/a
    Aug 17, 2011 @ 22:50:23

    Neecy,

    The interesting difference is in the small word “can.” It’s a striking fact: a man *can* cheat on a girl he loves, even desperately loves, and it often means less than nothing; a woman *can’t* and *won’t* and *doesn’t* cheat on a man she loves, much less on one she loves desperately. And when she does cheat it always means everything.

    For a woman in love, the world disappears; for a man it never does. He sees the world mainly with his eyes. A woman sees the world mainly with her heart.

    So when a woman sees all the men of the world again, when she dreams of a better, more exciting romance, her love for the current man is done.

    I have some observations about you, but I’ll save them for another time.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 18, 2011 @ 04:53:35

      Well N/A I think that women just like males cheat for a number of reasons. It doesn’t make one or the other right. I have had b/f’s who cheated on me based on sex and its no more or less devastating than if he had cheating emotionally. So it doesn’t really matter why one cheats IMO. The fact they cheated is enough for me to always break off the relationship.

      I also want to say that i do believe you are right in that a woman who is in love with a man won’t cheat. She’ll want to stay with him as long as she can for whatever it is that makes her in love with him.

      OH AND N/A Don’t you dare leave me hanging like that! What do ya mean you have some observations about me? TELL ME DAMMIT! I can handle it. You tease *walking off dissapointed*

      Like

      Reply

  12. zorro
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 04:25:36

    The Force is strong with this one.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 18, 2011 @ 04:47:17

      Whaddaya mean?

      Like

      Reply

      • zorro
        Aug 18, 2011 @ 05:05:09

        I’m assuming n/a is a man. He seems to have remarkable insight.

        Like

        Reply

      • zorro
        Aug 18, 2011 @ 05:08:28

        …and in case you didn’t see the film, “The Force is strong with this one.” is a frequently quoted line from Star Wars. Darth Vader says this about Luke Skywalker.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 02:35:53

        I knew “May the force be with you” was Star wars but you said it wrong. lol

        Like

        Reply

      • zorro
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 03:19:21

        “May the Force be with you was Obi-Wan Kenobi. “The Force is strong with this one” was Darth Vader. There were a LOT of quotes in that film.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 03:24:21

        Ok I’m really about to make myself look like a retard – I always thought “DARTH” Vader was “DARK” vader until some star wars junkie alreted me that I was sooooooooooooo wrong – although he did find it hilarious I went all those years into adulthood thinking he was “DARK VADER” and not “DARTH VADER”. LOL

        Like

        Reply

  13. Mark Slater
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 04:52:46

    I’ve listened to married people, far older than myself, speak of love and marriage. Even the happiest of these people will admit that their relationship takes a lot of work. The key, from what I gathered, is what happens when the thrill of love begins to fade and the reality of everyday life reasserts itself. Do we go on to the next level: a mature, grown-up marriage able to endure the rough spots; or do we abandon the relationship in search of the next thrill?

    Is our generation put off by the concept of WORK? Is our thrill-a-minute culture and entertainment spoiling us to something that’s intended to last a lifetime?

    It’s not for nothing that those old marriage vows included both in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer…

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Aug 18, 2011 @ 05:04:34

      mark,

      You are so right. I believe people today do not want to work towards anything – not even a relationship. The minute a sign of having to work or sacrifice comes to play, people run and start cheating or simply break up. They want to be on an emotional “love” high forever and it simply won’t be like that. True love takes many forms throughout the course of a relationship and people don’t know what that is – so they run.

      Marriage itself is not the problem. The problem is PEOPLE who get married are unrealistic about what it takes for a long term commitment like that to stay afloat and alive. People need to be realistic with themselves and really ask themselves can they stick something out like that for the long haul with that particular person. Marriage has become so political. I mean look at people getting married on shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette who barely know each other. Its ridiculous.

      I believe there should be pre marriage counseling courses and seminars offered to couples who are thinking about getting married to really show them what its going to take and how to deal with the bumpy periods and getting over the lust/infatuation period.

      The way I see marriage is – it’s a full time never ending job. The minute you stop working, the minute it all goes to hell and you go broke. It can be a dream job or a really shitty job depending on what you put in it. But its constant work. Any job where one works hard and puts in their work will see great rewards. Any job where one simply doesn’t work or do their part or try – will become drained and unhappy and stressed b/c they are not seeing any benefits or rewards for being lazy.

      Like

      Reply

    • Matt
      Aug 18, 2011 @ 05:49:14

      I’m going to post what I wrote on Roissy’s blog since I doubt I can’t really expand on it. Most of the current aversion to monogamy has to do with the glorification of “Romance”.

      — Begin Old Post —
      Romance is to love what “beginner’s luck” is to skill. It’s a short term euphoria intended to give you the motivation to work for the next lifetime with that person, and a glimpse of what you could have if you do.

      One of the big problems with both men and women now is that they are taught to think that romance is love. So they ride the emotional wave of romance believing that they’re in love. When the romance is removed, they think that the love is gone. They split, then try to find new partners.

      Older generations knew better. When romance dissipated, they started to work on building the love. It took longer, but the end result was an actual relationship built on trust and connection instead of a transient feeling.

      Actual love takes hard work. It’s a lifetime of work. The end result is akin to what the initial romance felt like, but deeper and more satisfying.

      I would agree that our generation is put off by the concept of work. People are only trained to think about the next immediate gratification and then they leave and go find something new to lust after. It’s shallow and doesn’t make for a good, fulfilling life. It’s also a great way to never, ever develop meaningful relationships with other people.

      Mike Rowe (the host of “Dirty Jobs”) gave a talk about labour and work on it at TED. The whole talk is good to watch, but the last five minutes are what talks about this.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 02:42:09

        Matt,

        This is true. I guess its a sign o the times where people are so very impatient and and clouded with constant needs of immediate gratification. Don’t know if it will get any better.

        Like

        Reply

      • Anonymous
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 05:28:52

        Nothing last more than 5 years these days.
        Relationships, cars, computers, tv, cellphones, etc

        Planned obsolescence conspiracy

        century of self

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 06:06:06

        ANON,

        Please tell me how you embeddede those videos. i am trying to embedd a you tube vid on my latest post and all that is showing up is the link.

        Like

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Aug 19, 2011 @ 06:28:38

        Also, I agree things today are just not the same and I don’t know if its because of population increases over the deacades or what. But its just a scarey time we live in today. I mean look at what they are doing to foods – genetically modifying them.

        I guess these vids explain why people are so fickle and antsy after short periods of time. We live in a short span society where everything is quick, fast and easy.

        Like

        Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: