NEECYWOMAN? And whose that with her? Her sidekick extrodinnaire LIZAWOMAN?
*queue super hero music*
*Mark News anchor*: We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you this important yet breaking news. NEECYWOMAN and her sidekick LIZAWOMAN have somehow entered into the Black matrix bubble and things are looking ugly. We see them taking on the powerful Black community, SOUL PATROL and SISTER SOLDIER MILITIA all at once. It’s a tough fight but by God it looks like these two super heroes are holding their own. OH! Johnny did you see that swift kick to the anus of the Soul patrol NEECYWOMAN just delivered? Ouch!
*Johnny new anchor*: yes Mark, I just saw….OH! looks like LIZAWOMAN has the SISTER SOLDIER militia in a headlock! These girls are certainly brave to take on such a powerful force – ooooh! Just saw that double tag team body slam delivered by NEECYWOMAN and LIZAWOMA N to the Black community!
*Mark news anchor*: Folks what you’re witnessing here is a full on smackdown of the powers that be and protectors/keepers of all things Black. we can see numbers of Zombie like Black women walking towards the Matrix door to their freedom while NEECYWOMAN and LIZAWOMAN continue to stomp out the evil force of the Soul Patrol. On the ground we have Anna reporting. Anna, please tell us what you see on the ground.
*Anna new anchor*: Well Johnny and Mark, Neecyites are on the ground ushering these zombie Black women into vans with signs saying “GLOBAL VILLAGE BOUND” . Wait, you can hear the Neecyites let me get in a little closer.
*Neecyites*: Move along people! Nothing to see here. Just some Black women packing up and moving their things out of the Black matrix and into the global village. Please step aside and allow these women in the vans! Thank you
*Anna new anchor*: Johnny and Mark we have footage of one of the zombie like Black women saying something to the news camera – Adam please run the clip.
*zombie Black woman to news anchor as she enters Van* “Free at last! Free at Last! Thank God Almighty we’re free at last!!”.
*Anna news anchor*: Mark and Johnny powerful words from a zombie Black woman that I believe represents the whole purpose of this superhero move by NEECYWOMAN and her sidekick LIZAWOMAN. Now back to you.
*mark and Johnny*: Ladies and gentlemen we will continue to update you on the progress of NEECYWOMAN and her sidekick LIZAWOMAN taking on the evil force of the Soul Patrol. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.
*3 days later NEECYWOMAN has agreed to an interview with all of the major networks and is now being televised*
Interviewer: NEECYWOMAN, please tell us what has been transpiring over the last 3 days with you taking on the powerful Black Soul Patrol Inc. and its conglomerates.
NEECYWOMAN: Thank you for having me Joan. Let me explain. The fight is not over and the revolution will not be televised.
INTERVIEWER: NEECYWOMAN could you explain further to those who don’t understand what is going on.
NEECYWOMAN: Sure. Intelligent Black women like myself and LIZAWOMAN have developed a conglomerate of our own in which we continue to send the message out to Zombie Black women stuck on stupid living in the Black matrix, that it doesn’t have to be that way. Having been members of the zombie matrix ourselves as Black women, one day figured out that the Matrix bubble had a hole in it. One big enough for us to squirm out of. And now that we have squirmed out of it and into the Global Village we want other Black women who are zombified to also know there is an out and another option. We have to save these women or they will die completely indoctrinated in the Black cesspool today known as the Black community, not having lived out their full purpose in life. The matrix door has been unveiled and Black women are exiting as we speak. But they need help. Help from Black women like myself and LIZAWOMAN.
*queue super hero music* *NEECYWOMAN stands up and flings her cape in front of her*
NEECYWOMAN and my sidekick LIZAWOMAN are here to save the day!! I’m here to take on the evil Soul Patrol branding and pumping out Black female indoctrinated zombies who are being brainwashed to carry out Black interest missions against their own best interests. What missions are these – Black male exclusivity, Pandering to & supporting single motherhood and babymomma lifestyles of the poor and idiotic, fighting white hegemony, defending Black male criminals, providing resources to all things Black and retarded, Black and criminal, Black and Stupid to name a few. MYSELF and LIZAWOMAN’S mission is to rescue the next generation of Black women from such Matrix hell. I have a message to Soul Patrol Inc. and its conglomerates – WE ARE COMING FOR THE ZOMBIFIED BLACK WOMEN still walking around lost and stuck on stupid – let them go or we will come and take them ourselves!
We will do this successfully. The mission of the sister soldiers and members of the Soul Patrol Inc. and protectors of all things Black is to always make sure Black women are fulfilling their “God Given purpose” to submit to all things Black, Black *and* male, Black and utterly stupid, Black Black Black… but by all means necessary the progressive (ahem) INTELLIGENT Black women have discovered the exit and are moving towards and out of it. The global male village always looks so much better than a big ole bubble of the same ole same ole bullshit.
The matrix is a horrible place for anyone to be – especially when it’s against their own self-interests and disadvantages. I don’t know if I have or haven’t made it clear, but I am of the mindset that the Black community and exclusive Black relationships (intimate) is not a healthy place for any sane or reasonable intelligent Black woman to continue roaming about – obvious reasons are too many too list so I’ll leave it up to yall to figure out why.
INTERVIEWER: NEECYWOMAN, do you fear the wrath of the Sister Soldier Militia and Soul Patrol Inc. for challenging them openly?
NEECYWOMAN: LIZAWOMAN and I are superheroes who have finally donned our capes. This is just the beginning – If they thought they had a fight a few days ago, just wait until we re- ammo, it’s gonna get ugly Joan. Better put on your hard hat and body suits. The remains of the enemy will be splattered all over and it won’t be pretty. the only thing to fear is fear itself and the nasty, stinky remains of the enemy!
INTERVIEWER: Such tough yet sure words that you will win this battle NEECYWOMAN. Of course they won’t lie down and raise the white flag. Oh boy I said “WHITE” flag did I? They’ll be coming after me now NO? I’m sure in 5,4,3,2.. respective members of the Soul Patrol and Sister Soldier Militia be in here…
NEECYWOMAN interrupts: foaming at the crevices of their pie holes about how as Black women we “gotsta remain at the mercy of Black people and Black males” for the good of the race? PSSSH! GTFOH. *laughing*.
INTERVIEWER: NEECYWOMAN, this is your time to tell the people of the world your superhero mission and how you plan to accomplish it.
NEECYWOMAN (looks into camera): PEOPLE of NEECY’S NEST & the world, I am here to tell you that as a Black woman I represent a small and growing number of Progressive and enlightened Black females who have escaped the Black matrix. Who are we? We are Black women who:
– date and equally find the beauty in ALLLLLLL races of men without guilt.
– We are Black women who do not love pimps, players, hustlers, thugs, assholes, jerks or misogynists.
– We are Black women who don’t believe in racial exclusivity to men or people who do not reciprocate it back.
– We are Black women who don’t care about who and what Black men are dating b/c we have a life of our own and equally seek partnerships from males in the global village.
– We are Black women who does not support a community that seeks to diminish the femininity and value of its women.
– We are Black women who aren’t afraid to say we’re not “liberals” b/c it’s just par for the course.
– We are Black women who aren’t afraid to be ourselves – and admit to liking things that are not always “Black”.
– We are Black women who take great pride and pleasure in not being ghetto.
– We have accepted that we too as Black women have options if we choose to take them and use them in the global dating village with various races and cultures of men.
– We are Black women who are going to redefine Black womanhood and femininity one step at a time.
– We are Black women who have come to terms with no longer wanting to be sister soldiers that fight White hegemony.
– We are Black women who seek the best interests of ourselves FIRST and only deal in reciprocating relationships.
– We are Black women who will not donate our time, money, resources, or support to things or people who seek to diminish us as women.
– We are Black women who want to live the best lives we can in the GLOBAL village with or without the craziness that comes with being Black today.
– We are Black women who are not all fat, ghetto, loud, obnoxious, asexual, jezebels, mammies.
– We are Black women who will be redefining a new era for the younger generation of Black females who want to SURVIVE and escape the matrix.
– We will use every bit of resource we can to get this message across nationally and internationally. Our first step in the mission – is a documentary that LIZAWOMAN and I will be working on. I will also be providing various media films showing this NEW Black woman.
Be prepared, the new Black woman is not the Black women everyone loves to place in their comfy little boxes. She will make a lot of people uncomfortable b/c she refuses to be the mammy, jezebel, ghetto sapphire that so heavily exists today. The New Black woman will embrace her femininity and womanhood and will shun Black female masculinity. The New Black Woman will not embrace and accept fatness as “beautiful” nor will she call fat rolls “curves” anymore. The New Black woman understands being in shape and healthy is key to a fulfilling life. People better get prepared. Things are going to get UGLY before they start looking pretty.
THAT IS ALL.
*queue super hero music*
NEECYWOMAN: Zombies and more Black Matrix smack downs calls……
*NEECYWOMA N text messages her sidekick LIZAWOMAN and they both fly off into the sky continuing their super hero mission to stomp out the Soul Patrol Inc. and Sister Soldier Militia while freeing Black female Zombies still stuck on stupid inside the Black Matrix*