Its HUMP DAY Wednesday and what comes with humping?

GINA TINGLES!!!! & PENILE PALPITATIONS!!

So what’s today’s HUMP DAY GINA TINGLE?

SEXUAL TENSION, PHEROMONES annnnnd Love at first sight!

Love at first sight. *in my porn star voice* Oh my God! Oh my GOD!

Do you believe in it? Or should it be renamed “LUST” at first sight. How the heck can you love someone you don’t know but see? But come on ladies you gotta admit that the thought gets the gina juices flowing NO? Eveeeen if it *MAY* not exist doesn’t it make you tingly all over just thinking about it? I just want to believe I will look across that crowded room and see “THE ONE”. The both of us will come running towards each other in slow mo with White doves flying over our heads, me in a flowy White gown, he with his shirt off and then we’ll run into each other and stop short just as he picks me up in the air, twirls me around, my bosoms smothering his face. We’ll run off into the day/night and live happily ever after. Ok that sounds real stupid and unreal but it *DOES* get the gina tingles going just thinking about it.

According to Susan Davis who wrote an article in Online Dating Magazine about Chemistry 101, I’m an idiot b/c real chemistry with someone stems from sexual tension. What I described above is a full on fairy tale fantasy:

“Sexual Tension is a component of physical chemistry. It’s a feeling you get when you’re in the presence of someone you’re attracted to, and part of the scenario includes obstacles, anticipation, perhaps humor, and/or other ingredients that increase the attraction, thereby increasing the tension in the situation. Sexual tension consists of the combination of being pulled toward someone, but also feeling resistance at the same time.”

Ok I agree with that. But it seems nowadays people don’t even allow themselves to build up any sexual tension. It’s all about straight to the bedroom with any hot male/female you see. Is this what the PUA’s are doing – building sexual tension by seducing women? Sexual tension is exciting if the right guy knows how to create it, maintain it and then close on it the RIGHT way.

What about pheromones & where they fit into attraction and sexual attraction to others? Is it real? Well I have good news for those of you who don’t like to bathe. According to Susan:

“Through numerous studies, scientists have determined that people physically release potent chemical signals that can have profound effects on people….. If pheromones do have a big effect on human physiology, people may want to adjust heavy use of soaps and perfumes. It just may be, that the constant washing away or covering up of the natural chemical composition of human bodies, could account for some of the loneliness or depression in modern society. “

I don’t know about you but sounds like she is suggesting to not wash your arse for a couple of days and you will no longer be depressed or lonely? Anyone willing to be a Ginny pig and try this out? Don’t all jump at once now. *thinking* maybe those slutty women who are snatching up all the good guys are possibly doing this? Hmmmm.

She also goes on to say about Pheromones:

“There has been research that indicates that humans produce and respond to “pheromones,” (usually odorless, airborne molecules) which, in other species, determine such physiological behaviors as the recognition of family members, mate choice, and the process of distinguishing between friend and enemy.”

Hmmm. So how does this explain my attraction to celeb men I have never met but get all tingly when looking at them?

 You’ve got MD’s and people selling pheromones to people and putting it in perfumes b/c they claim it works so well. I mean I have never *smelled* anything that made me wanna jump some man’s bones in public – although there is no accounting for a good smelling man (as long as he keeps the cologne wear to a reasonable level). How many times have I been at the gym and some DOOD is walking around drowning in his cologne – AT THE GYM? Ugh! *Neecy’s light bulb flickers on*. Speaking of the gym, the gym is probably the best place to pick someone up b/c the funk pheromones that are floating all over the place due to intense sweating etc. Maybe that is why so many gyms *are* meat markets and pick up joints – PHEROMONES! *sometimes I amaze myself with my intelligence*

This concept that pheromones, smells etc., are what attracts you to someone is pretty crazy. ABC did a test on 20/20 of two sets of male and female twins. One of each twin was given pheromones (male and female) and then was sent on a speed dating event without any of the daters knowing anything about pheromones being placed on one of each twin. At the end of the event all of the males and females recorded which twin they more likely wanted to see beyond the event. The male and female twins with the pheromones added were chosen by mostly all of the participants vs. less than half of the participants wanting to see the twins without the pheromones added to them.

So my next question is – Where does online dating fit into this idea of pheromones? It seems many people have met and started LTR’s and even families simply from meeting online. How can you have pheromones in play over the internet? My boss says there are studies that show that people who meet online have less of a chance of staying together than those who meet face to face b/c of the powerful pheromones that attracts people to you. Hmmmmm. According to the article about Chemistry 101, Susan says that while the pheromones and sexual tension/chemistry may cause intense chemistry initially, it still doesn’t add to longer lasting or substantial relationships:

“Most people believe that chemistry is so important, that real love cannot exist without it. It is because of this, that people surmise that if they experience intense feelings, it serves as the foundation for the basis of an ideal and lasting relationship. While this could be true, the reality is that while it’s important, it isn’t the be-all and end-all of a relationship. This is because chemistry, in and of itself, lacks an entire dimension that includes the core values and beliefs that define personality and viewpoint.”

I guess this explains why people who meet online *are* able to have lasting relationships b/c as they said, there are other important dimensions to relationships that would cause a couple to stay together. In fact I personally believe its all those other non-physical things that do create and maintain longer lasting relationships while intimacy is just the icing on the cake. Sexual tension, pheromones and love at first site are all initial attention chemistry grabbers, but not stabilizers of relationships over the long run.

“it’s also important to realize how important chemistry is, and find a balance between compatibility and chemistry, in order to know if proceeding in a dating relationship is worthwhile.”

So in essence its fun to get the gina tingles and penile palpitations ladies and gents, just don’t use that as your measuring rod for long lasting relationships if there are no other forms of compatibility involved. This may explain why so many people can’t withstand marriage and LTR’s at the first sign of the infatuation sexual tension period wearing off (as we discussed in the Monogamy topic). But for today’s purpose – I’m going with the gina tingles that come with initial sexual tension and love lust at first sight.

Discuss….. 🙂

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53 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liza207
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 10:26:25

    Neecy,

    I don’t believe that chemistry and sexual tension are the most important components of attraction but it definitely helps to be physically attracted to the person you desire as a long-term partner. Why would you date someone you weren’t attracted to sexually? If I can’t imagine myself being intimate with a guy within 10 seconds upon meeting him it’s hard for me to find him attractive. I may give him chance and attempt to get to know him but it never works out. I don’t believe in forcing attraction – it’s either there or it’s not for me. I know that there are people (men mostly and male-indentified women) who may scoff at that, especially since I am a woman and saying this. But whatever. If you are grossed out by the touch of your partner or you are not that into them, how would that relationship be satisfying for you or your partner even if there were other good things in place?

    For example, I had a platonic guy friend for 10 years whom I loved hanging out with, talking to, and we had similar personalities(easy going and laid back), similar values and interests but for me there was no sexual attraction or sexual chemistry. It just wasn’t there for me. However, we made good friends. What I am saying is, just because you are compatible with someone of the opposite sex or the same (whatever your flavor) does not mean there will be romance in the air—you will just be pals having sex…borrrring.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 31, 2011 @ 11:03:22

      Actually Liza I think what the article and I am pointing out is not that anyone shouldn’t be with a person they are not sexually attracted to, but rather if that is the sole basis for trying to make something LT happen it most likely will fail. The fact is no one will enter into any kind of sexual relationship with someone they are not physically attracted to anyway. There has to be INITIAL chemistry for it to even go beyond a friendship towards intimacy.

      Sexual tension/attraction is only the beginning and part of the sustaining factor in relationships. You can be physically tingly over a guy/gal who is a bad mate. That doesn’t mean you are in a good relationship. As she said, chemistry is important, but if that is the sole foundation of any relationship, then its not going to work over the long haul.

      Just b/c someone makes you tingly all over doesn’t mean that they make great relationship partners. Too many times people assume that is all that is needed to make a relationship work – physical chemistry when its not.

      The point is there needs to be more than PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY to sustain a LTR. Physical chemistry without other compatibility will not lead to happy long term relationships. Long time married couples are way past the stages of simply sexual tension and intimacy. They have other factors ALONG with physical that contribute to a long term happy relationship.
      It requires a balance – that is what she and I are pointing out.

      Having one without the other (physical connection and emotional connections) will not work for long term happiness. And thus why so many people today are in crappy relationships/marriages. They are simply stuck on the physical which can only hold them together for so long.

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      • Liza207
        Aug 31, 2011 @ 12:23:03

        “Actually Liza I think what the article and I am pointing out is not that anyone shouldn’t be with a person they are not sexually attracted to,”

        Neecy, don’t know if you have experienced when a woman says she is not physically attracted to a guy that is interested in her we are made to feel like it’s some kind of sin. Or, that it is some kind of blind spot you have. LOL! Although, men are pretty much left alone to create and set their own standards concerning what they want in a partner without worrying about being judged for whom they choose or why they chose them. In addition, I do not think chemistry is all about looks/physical this is probably where Pheromones may come into play.

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        • Neecy
          Aug 31, 2011 @ 16:19:55

          Yes the double standards when it comes to this are ridiculous. If you are human, you are drawn to people you have physical attraction to. Why people act like women don’t have these physical/visual desires is beyond me. Men need to come to terms with this – yes women are visual. There may be women who are willing to be with men they have no physical attraction to, but they are not the majority. Women are visual – maybe not at the level men are and would be willing to take into consideration other factors if he is not the best looking, but we still want to be with people we are physically attracted to.

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  2. Liza207
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 10:28:24

    “Ok I agree with that. But it seems nowadays people don’t even allow themselves to build up any sexual tension. It’s all about straight to the bedroom with any hot male/female you see. Is this what the PUA’s are doing – building sexual tension by seducing women?”

    Sexual tension over a certain period of time is so hot. The anticipation and the hot conversations leading up the act, girl, that’s when the sex is amazing and the other factor is that you have gotten to know the person well, so you feel more relaxed and safe. I just don’t get the appeal of one- night-stands, personally. All I would be thinking about is whether this guy has a STD or is he going to murder me during or after the sex. I think one-night-stands are just gross.

    “I don’t know about you but sounds like she is suggesting to not wash your arse for a couple of days and you will no longer be depressed or lonely?”
    LOL! The smell of stale sweat is just gross no matter how hot the guy is. Nope!

    “So how does this explain my attraction to celeb men I have never met but get all tingly when looking at them?”

    Neecy, men and women are visual creators for the most part.

    “Speaking of the gym, the gym is probably the best place to pick someone up b/c the funk pheromones that are floating all over the place due to intense sweating etc. Maybe that is why so many gyms *are* meat markets and pick up joints – PHEROMONES!”

    I don’t know about meeting men at the gym. The gym I belong to are filled with jerks who still think they’re in high school. And they seem more interested in chatting each other up, than talking to women.

    Where online dating does fit into this idea of pheromones? It seems many people have met and started LTR’s and even families simply from meeting online. How can you have pheromones in play over the internet?

    It’s visual. Researchers say that online dating profiles with photos get more responses that those without.

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    • Neecy
      Aug 31, 2011 @ 11:08:33

      Liza,

      I was only kidding about the gym. i agree there are some annoying guys and gals in the gym, but in reference to pheromones that would be the one likely place people would find pheromones in abundance.

      And yes sexual tension built up over time is such a wonderful release as opposed to hopping on someone’s stick after a couple of drinks and compliments. Its so.. UGH. It takes the fun out of building up for the ultimate release. People don’t want to have to work to do anything anymore.

      I agree people are visual first and foremosot, but this whole idea about pheromones is quite interesting.

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  3. Marellus
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 11:29:22

    I wanta wamon taht can sawer at Hellareee Cilnton … & she msut lkie pnig pnog … I mean … ah buggrit … I’m off to the Alquedas Anynooms … no Wudbeisers in Sef Efrica … waaaaaaa !!1 >_((( … dem oll eneocons !!!!

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  4. Zorro
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 12:36:28

    I knew there was real science behind Scratch & Sniff.

    Seriously, I don’t know about pheromones, but I do get wobbly in the knees when a woman wears a touch of perfume. The greatest day a man can live begins when he wakes up with a woman’s scented hair burying his face so deep that even the sunlight can’t get through.

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  5. Zorro
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 12:47:05

    A bit off topic:

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/08/31/living/sophia-nelson-red-chair/index.html?hpt=hp_bn8

    Stumbled across this and thought you might be interested.

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  6. Liza207
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 13:17:51

    Zorro,

    I didn’t know she had a blog. Thanks.

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  7. Firepower
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 16:36:12

    hey why’d my comment get moved whats up with your blog girl

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    • Neecy
      Aug 31, 2011 @ 17:19:48

      I know i responded to you . You put it in the Shady thread. LOL. You been drinking FP? I couldn’t figure out how to move it to this post. Can you re type it here for discussion purposes. You brought up a good point. THX 🙂

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  8. zorro
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 17:04:17

    Just a thought: If pheromones are a good post topic (and they are), you might want to think about researching the effects of oxytocin on women. The bonding hormone is heavily at play during nursing and lovemaking, and is responsible for making otherwise sensible girls fall in love with jerks because they’re soaking with oxytocin when they make thunder in the sheets. The Frisky just had a post on this (yeah, I always troll The Frisky).

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    • Neecy
      Aug 31, 2011 @ 17:23:34

      Z,

      I am very familiar with Oxytocin and its effects on women. In fact, this is part of the reason I don’t sleep around. B/C I believe that women will bond to their partners GOD forbid they have an orgasm (which releases the chemical). After that, its an emotional rollercoaster with the wrong guys simply b/c you bonded with him chemically. Oxytocin is not something women should take lightly. As you said, it causes us to bond to males we are intimate with, and too many women waste their oxy on the wrong guys.

      Pat Allen is a relaitonship guru who wrote about this. She even stated that it takes two years for the bonding to subside at times.

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      • zorro
        Aug 31, 2011 @ 17:31:01

        I hear you. I wrought earth-shattering orgasms on a woman while playing the Pineapple Game, and she left me for the fruit vendor.

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      • Emma the Emo
        Sep 01, 2011 @ 08:12:58

        Does this mean that as long as I avoid orgasming, I can sleep around with as many as I like with no emotional consequences?

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        • Neecy
          Sep 01, 2011 @ 08:23:15

          NO EMMA NO!!! Step away from the penis. LOL J/K

          I actually believe that any kind of sexual intimacy will cause a woman to bond. Of course not all women are the same and quite a few (although exceptions) can sleep around with a ton of men and be emotionally vacant and avoid becomming attached to them. I don’t think most women can handle that set up without it affecting her self esteem and mentally damaging her later.

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          • Emma the Emo
            Sep 01, 2011 @ 11:58:12

            Haha, I wasn’t gonna sleep around (although I was thinking about it when I turned 19, but didn’t do it). I’d rather have only one person, to avoid STDs and other unpredictable things. Not to mention you get to get close to them, which you can’t do with random people. I only had one man, so I don’t have much experience with this, but I feel the difference between sex and love very well, so I’m not sure how anyone can confuse them. I keep hearing how it happens. Why?..

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            • Firepower
              Sep 01, 2011 @ 12:21:43

              your really 19???

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            • Neecy
              Sep 01, 2011 @ 12:52:52

              “but I feel the difference between sex and love very well, so I’m not sure how anyone can confuse them. I keep hearing how it happens. Why?..”

              I really don’t know how people do this but it happens – moreso with younger girls who are just learning about sex and relationships and unable to handle those feelings. I think its quite easy for inexperienced young girls to confuse the two b/c they are young, naive and inexperienced and simply relying on those “feel good” sexual emotions. But after a certain point a woman should be able to know the difference between the two based on her relationship with the guy.

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          • Firepower
            Sep 01, 2011 @ 12:22:38

            you realize that not ALL women can be wordly, experienced detached nymphos

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            • Neecy
              Sep 01, 2011 @ 12:53:50

              In fact FP, I think only a very small percentage of women can successfully do this.

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              • Emma the Emo
                Sep 01, 2011 @ 13:48:09

                Me and my friend made a hypothesis that women are as good at separating sex from love as men, they are just less likely to have sex without love in the first place. And men can have sex with someone they don’t fancy that much. So because of this, it appears as if women are less capable of that. If they were less picky and had sex with people who are only marginally attractive to them, their ability would be more apparent. What do you think? 🙂

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 01, 2011 @ 17:42:08

                  That’s a good point Emma. If the woman is not really attracted to the guy in the first place, she would probably have an easier time seperating her emotions from sex. Or in the cases of ONS it may be easier for a woman to simply have sex and go about her business later without feining for the guy b/c she didn’t really know him.

                  But as you said, generally women will sleep with guys they are attracted to or have some connection to and thus why their emotions get tangled up in the process after having sex. I think this is the general rule of thumb – especially if its a guy she is seeing consistenly. The feelings just grow and get deeper each time they intimatley connect and see each other. Even if he is a jerk or not in a relationship with her.

                  Also, i tend to think that women hold thier sexual value a little higher than most men so she wants to believe the guy she is sleeping with does have some connection and feelings for her -i.e. he is special thus why she is sleeping with him.

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              • Firepower
                Sep 02, 2011 @ 11:48:54

                Neecy

                In fact FP, I think only a very small percentage of women can successfully do this.

                i know you’ve mastered the game. your the kind of girl who throws a lot into relationships but you know when to hold back

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 02, 2011 @ 13:00:55

                  The only time I would hold back in a relationship is if I feel my efforts aren’t being appreciated or reciprocated. Reciprocation is necessary for healthy happy relationships. If one is holding back its b/c they feel they are putting in too much and not getting anything in return.

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          • Firepower
            Sep 01, 2011 @ 12:24:15

            you realize that not ALL women can be wordly, experienced detached nymphos

            …why do girls quoteboxes always have problems)

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        • Firepower
          Sep 01, 2011 @ 09:04:07

          Emma the Emo

          Does this mean that as long as I avoid orgasming, I can sleep around with as many as I like with no emotional consequences?

          really, like how hard can that be

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  9. zorro
    Aug 31, 2011 @ 17:53:30

    Ginny pig s/b Guinea pig

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  10. Emma the Emo
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 08:10:49

    I met a guy once, through the net. I gotta say I was surprised when I met him, because he was different from how he seemed online, but not in a bad way. Just different. Not sure if it was those pheromones doing their thing, or something else. When you talk to someone online, you are interacting with a bunch of text (guys don’t tend to use too many smileys), so you don’t know their expression or tone of voice. When you do meet them, you get all the non-verbal communication that you have been missing. It can be a profound difference.

    I agree, you can’t build a solid relationship with no attraction whatsoever (although asexuals seem to manage it, but that’s another story), but it’s just something to bring you together. From there, you need to work on the relationship to make it last. So no, I don’t think there is ever love from the first sight/talk online, just lust. But it can develop into love if it’s the right person.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 01, 2011 @ 08:17:39

      I agree Emma. I think the lust part of meeting someone is to give the parties a chance to go to the next level. Without attraction there is no next level. The relationship will stay stagnant at the friendship level. But too many times people simply rely on infatuation and physical attraction to hold together a relationship and it simply never works in the long run.

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    • Marellus
      Sep 01, 2011 @ 12:57:22

      … would you prefer if men used more emoticons in their written conversations ? The PUA dogma is quite explicit in that you don’t do that. Sometimes I wonder though.

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      • Emma the Emo
        Sep 01, 2011 @ 14:02:27

        Well, it would help me know their mood better. If there are no smileys, I have no idea what they are feeling, and what their mood is. I’m kind of neurotic about the other person’s mood, so an occasional smiley would solve all that. If a man uses a lot of smileys, it’s kind of unusual, and since it’s supposed to be beta it is probably charming (although I have yet to encounter a man who uses a lot of smileys, so I’m not sure).
        I guess avoiding smileys will make the woman wonder what you are thinking about, and spin her hamster, or something. But I need some smileys, personally.

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  11. Firepower
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 12:29:08

    “sigh*
    now your just messin with me
    good bye madame

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  12. Neecy
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 21:26:12

    ZORRO I received my book! Ya hoo! Can’t wait to start reading this weekend. 🙂

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  13. zorro
    Sep 01, 2011 @ 22:03:34

    …and I can’t wait for your inevitable and thoughtful write-ups on the sexual politics of the workplace, etc.!

    Like

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  14. Trackback: How to attract women, Men Attract Her with pheromone | Attract Pheromones

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