Neecy’s come to Jesus talk with Neecy’s common sense……

Neecy, this is your common sense talking and Its time we have a come to Jesus talk. I decided to write it in an open letter so you can always come back and read it in case you find yourself falling off the wagon.

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Dear Neecy,

Neecy you’re the kind of person in which too much negativity does affect you directly in not so good ways. It really affects you mentally and emotionally and so you need to be very cautious about the things you internalize and allow in your life. That being said, I find that at times you are such glutton for punishment against your own better judgment. You need to figure out and understand what draws you to choose to participate in or internalize things that you know are not good for your mental or emotional well-being. Is the light bulb out? Do you need to replace it? If so, get to it and fast. You can no longer afford to walk around in dark dreary places and think you will come out bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to take on your goals and missions successfully.

Ask yourself what placing yourself in and around negative things really does for you. I can answer b/c I live in your head – and it gives me a headache b/c I know you know better and it affects me, your common sense directly. So the answer to my question is – Internalizing negativity at this point in your life causes you Neecy, to second guess a lot of things about yourself, your life and where you are going. Ask yourself another question. Are you a negative person by nature? Even when the going gets tough? NO? So why do you choose to surround yourself with it?

I’ve known you since you were a kid who when able, started to use your own natural common sense (ME!). Remember it was I who kept you from losing your hand and sweet little fingers that day you decided you were going to put your hand in the garbage disposal while it was running? You suddenly thought to yourself “Oh maybe I should turn it off first to see if the burnt grilled cheese sandwhich i threw in there is all gone” And you did! Guess who told you to do that? MOI! I can list plenty of othr things in which I kept you from trouble. Just b/c you are a grown up now, doesn’t mean I am leaving you! I have been with you through THICK and THIN and as Carolyn Manzo from Real Housewives of NJ would say “we are thick as thieves”. *ok that probably wasn’t the best example to use in a letter like this, but you get my point* Anyway, you have always like to see the bright side of things even when it looked dark. You are also very spiritual. To be a spiritual person means that you have to always see the good in things/people and always see the glass as half full and not half empty. Dammit how long did it take for me, your common sense to help you get to a point where you finally put this thought process into play? A long time. And dammit I am not letting you turn back b/c I have invested waaaay too much time and energy in you to allow you to just toss me aside like a wet food stamp!

Neecy, you love to laugh and have fun. You’re not a very fun person when you are feeling bad about everything b/c others made you feel that way. I’m tired of journeying with you on the side roads in where you flock to negativity like a moth to a flame. We have a mission and we’re not getting there fat enough b/c you keep stalling on things that are not moving you up the road to the top of the mountain. Plainly put, negativity is simply not mentally, emotionally and physically good for your well-being. You need to avoid it as much as you can, for your own sanity. It can change you as a person and make your life a living hell. Accept things are not always going to be good, great or okay at first, but with enough patience eventually all things work themselves out. Good karma is alive and well. Search for that and not negativity.

Neecy, I’m your common sense. I will never lead you astray. So I have one simple request this month. This is a new month and all I ask is that you continue moving forward & to stop allowing yourself to consume negativity AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. Its just draining on me and your flesh. You need to understand Neecy, there are simply just cruel and hateful people out there who enjoy relishing in the suffering of others. This is just not mature behavior that leads to any real positive results for anybody. It’s a false sense of security on the disher and an air swallowing on the beneficiary. It also further motions towards the idea that misery loves company, and you need to choose (for our best interest) to not accompany miserable, hateful people or things. Its not worth it.

I think we all at some point laugh off guilty pleasures that we believe are just for “fun”. But when they start taking a toll on you emotionally and making you feel bad about yourself, I think its time to remove yourself from that place and live and enjoy life as it is.

Neecy, you are not a person who believes that anything is impossible in a general realm. There of course are general rules of thumb & exceptions for everything but often times you get caught up in the storm of hearsay, generalizations and I just simply refuse to allow you to accept that for yourself. I believe all things are possible for the person that seeks to make it happen. It may be a much long, hard, rough road to get to those things, but that just makes it all worth the time and patience and FAITH it took to get one there.

You are a new leaf starting over. On a new journey in your life. This means I cannot allow you to get sidetracked by negativity b/c we will never get to that place at the top of the mountain by stopping and internalizing things that tell you it’s not possible for you to reach the top b/c stats, articles, ideas, opinions say otherwise.

If you don’t reach the mountain top, I don’t want it to be because you believed in someone else’s ideas, thoughts, beliefs, objections, mishaps but rather your own. But that won’t happen b/c I’m your common sense and I know that you know better. Our current belief system is all things are possible. Some things require more work, effort, blood, sweat and tears but nonetheless they are still possible.

And so this month I have two goals for you:
(1) To complete the goal for yourself that you didn’t successfully complete last month
(2) Not get sidetracked by negativity
(3) Not interact with cruel, hateful, malicious, non-well-meaning people and things

Now let’s have a wonderful great long weekend Neecy!!!! I love you! Do you love me? Ok so show me.

Love,
Your homey – Common Sense

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63 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liza207
    Sep 03, 2011 @ 12:43:18

    Neecy, I hope this means that you finally got your fill of all the negativity and the soul-killing interactions on Heartiste’s blog. I know I indulge as well but I just can’t take those men seriously — they are just too damaged and delusional and are clearly engaging in fantasy. I really don’t like going to blogs and especially commenting on blogs where I have strong opinions that may not coincide with that blog–I feel like an interloper or troll. I usually avoid engaging the men there and the fact is, I shouldn’t be there anyway, so what transpired was my own doing but I have a very strong sense of who I am, so whatever. It just remained me of why it’s not a good idea to mess around with crazies online or offline.

    The internet has made it really easy for people like that to hide behind a computer and spew all the hatred they want (cowardly in my opinion) and they can create or take on any persona they chose but when certain buttons are pushed they sometimes reveal themselves a little. And that can be soothing in a way because you now know they are probably even more fucked up than you think you are.

    I also want to add that, the women (not you) who go there seeking validation and attention from damaged and women-hating men, just look pathetic and sad. What? You want them to see you as a special little snowflake. LOL!

    Neecy, it’s time to focus and get things moving in the right direction (up). But we should also be careful in revealing too much of what we are working on over the interwebz. Upward and Onward, girl!

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    • Liza207
      Sep 03, 2011 @ 12:56:08

      It just remained me of why it’s not a good idea to mess around with crazies online or offline.

      I meant: reminded me

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    • Neecy
      Sep 06, 2011 @ 08:14:13

      Liza,
      Now that I have had time to really cool off and clear my head and get my emotions back in check (its that damn Pisces in me) in terms of Heartiste’s site, we are both drawn to it for a reason but react to it in different way. I choose to post and interact and you simply choose to read. I’m not even so sure that I am against all the ideas of his blog as I am the TONE – and in disagreement with some of the ways Heartiste feel about things personally.

      But its funny b/c I think we have to both ask ourselves WHY we would even spend time there if there thoughts or ideas are so delusional to us? Why are you even reading it at all and why am I even posting there at all? Is it really b/c we just take it for shits and giggles? I really had to ask myself this the last couple of days and I have to be honest with myself and say I now know why I am drawn to his site. Is it *really* to laugh at them or is it b/c we know deep down about the divide between men and women and now we are seeing in raw form the male reactions?

      I can’t speak for you or any of the other women who post there. But for me, there is no other place where men can go and where women can actually hear/see their gripes about us. Granted a great deal of the men there are so damaged/delusional and irrational you cannot even hold a decent conversation with them, but I have been able believe it or not to read between the lines and I am seeing that these men are reacting to a system that told them to do one thing for women and now they are seeing the results of trying to stick to the blueprint of feminism which says “be nice to women, don’t be a jerk or asshole, women want love adoration and respect” etc.

      I think these men are finally coming to terms with the fact that as you have mentioned before – women are not who they always thought or were taught for us to be. They see us in raw form now (b/c of feminism) and really are trying to find ways within a feminist society to deal with it. Hence why they flock to H’s blog about Gaming women etc. So I sense a lot of them are just angry about trying to follow the manuscript written for them by us women all their lives and they are finding out and discovering the truth – that women are not what we say we are nor do we want what we say we want.

      You had been lurking there for awhile and although you never posted I think the proof is in the pudding that there is something more that would make women look, read, or participate on that site. While I think for many of us there may be different reasons, ultimately the fact we are there says something about us and why we lurk, read and participate. We are really trying to read between the anger and frustration to get the POINT of all of this – at least for me I think this is why I hung around there so long. Especially b/c I am now seeing that the women’s blog I tended to for so long, only provided half of the story to relationships.

      while I will say many of the guys on H’s site are crazy or delusional or just damaged in some ways, I’m grateful for the ones who aren’t and whom I have managed to have decent discussions with and who have also contributed to this blog being very levelheaded and sharing what they to believe are some of the reasons why men feel the way they do about certain things talked about on Heartiste’s blog.

      Honestly, now I get it b/c I kept asking myself the last few days why I keep going back to a place like that. And the final answer is this: I go to heartiste’s site b/c I guess I can now understand what the issue has been with men and women as of late. Things I clearly couldn’t put my finger on in terms of what has happened and where this divide has come from between the genders. And frankly, there are *two* sides to a story and I have always had the female side of the story but never the male side.
      Heartiste’s site brings these issues to light from a male perspective in *some* cases although not in the most clean cut nice way. And I certainly would never get these truths from women. So in essence, I can actually sense and feel their frustration and I have learned A GREAT DEAL believe it or not from Heartiste’s site. Its only confirmed some things I was not really sure existed between women and men.

      I honestly think a lot of the damaged guys there do have legitimate gripes about women, but they go about it the wrong way IMO and that is why it comes of as negative and bitter.

      And b/c of that and my interactions with them over the last few days, I am clearly seeing the big picture and the other side of the story.

      I wish there was a site like heartiste’s for men without all the anger issues. Where the temperament was a bit more fostering of real discussions on how to attack the issues between men and women without the crudeness, put downs, delusions etc.

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      • Liza207
        Sep 06, 2011 @ 09:24:02

        Neecy, you summed it pretty much as to why we go to that blog, although, it’s like entering a lion’s din. We are getting the other side. I have to admit it was very daunting at first but very sobering at the same time. I have always respected their space–that’s why I only lurked there. Because like you said, some of what they complain about is very true but there is also a lot of projecting and deflecting going on there, too (i.e., the issue about age).

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  2. Marellus
    Sep 03, 2011 @ 16:50:41

    Some of the commenters are good though. I like King A ; and GBFM (lolzzzz). And it’s always interesting to see what any of the women are writing there. Feel free to add to the list.

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    • Andrew Medina
      Sep 04, 2011 @ 07:46:39

      Zorroprimo too. He seems to be a decent sort as well.

      I’m kinda curious as to what the inside of GBFM’s head must look like (I thought I was nuts).

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      • Zorro
        Sep 04, 2011 @ 09:31:07

        I like to think I’m reasonably decent.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 05, 2011 @ 16:44:38

          You are and if there was any good that came out of Heartiste’s site – it was you and a few others here whom I have met from his site. I mean that from the bottom of my heart! 🙂

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          • Zorro
            Sep 05, 2011 @ 19:04:50

            *muah*

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          • Liza207
            Sep 06, 2011 @ 07:26:42

            Neecy, I agree, Zorro and the others guys who comment here on the regular come across as decent guys, to me.

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            • Zorro
              Sep 06, 2011 @ 07:55:31

              I’m a moose. How can you possibly not love me?!

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            • Neecy
              Sep 06, 2011 @ 08:17:58

              yes liza. I guess one has to always look at the good that comes from the bad. LOL. I am so grateful for the level-headed guys who post here. But the fact is they came from heartiste’s and further proof that not all the guys who post or lurk there are crazy/delusional or angry and bitter. I believe a lot of the guys who are more level-headed but possibly feel the same as many of the more vocal crazy ones just lurk for the most part b/c its not really a place for a more level headed guy who wants to really get to the heart of the matters – they are usually called Betas, gay or other names if they really just want to figure out ways to make things work better besides calling women names and putting us down. LOL

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    • Neecy
      Sep 05, 2011 @ 16:39:58

      Yes Marellus,

      In my reposnse to Liza later tonight I discuss Although i don’t agree gaming women in general, i have to say he is a very critical thinker who *is* rational (hence the title of his blog). I almost get this weird feeling of hurt and pleasure reading his blog b/c parts of me doesn’t want guys like him to cross to the other side or teach other good men how to cross to the dark side of non-monogamy, gaming women etc., but the fact he approaches it from an aspect of rationality and level-headedness which makes it much easier for a woman trying to understand *WHY* to interact and get answers. I really like his blog and the guys that post there (although very few now since the blog is new). i hope it keeps it current temperment.

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      • Liza207
        Sep 06, 2011 @ 07:52:26

        Neecy, do not despair there are decent guys who are of high quality, which possess integrity, substance and maturity. Men who possess these characteristics are the ones that are the happiest and find wonderful women as partners because they are not just seeking superficial qualities in a woman. They know that looks has its importance but they also know that it is not the be all or the end all of a high quality woman. They are looking for a woman who will be a good mother to his children; she will make his life easier and possibly help him get to the next in his career or business endeavors. Water usually seeks its own level–you get what you give.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 06, 2011 @ 08:23:57

          LIZA EXACTLY. And that is why I have chosen to remove myself. Beacuse I always believed this – that there were and are still high quality males who can look beyond pure shallowness and see a good high quality woman he is also attracted to. But after being at CR too long I started to feel like most men are really like the ones there. And that is why I have to step away, b/c I am finding my views of men in general are turning sour reading too much of that stuff on there. I don’t want to become damanged and bitter against men and that is why its important that I maintain my positive outlook on men b/c I do believe there are great men in the world who are MATURE, SOLID, REALISTIC, and healthy all around.

          RE: Rollo’s site – ITA. Even the guys who comment there are very level-headed and willing to speak honestly without the name calling.

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  3. Andrew Medina
    Sep 04, 2011 @ 07:52:13

    PROTIP: Become a narcissist. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. While you’re at it, read “The Four Aggreements” by Miguel Ruiz.

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    • Zorro
      Sep 05, 2011 @ 02:27:20

      While the greatest book I have ever read was Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (I have eight different translations from the original Greek), I would highly recommend The Art of Worldly Wisdom by Baltasar Gracian, andThe Art of War by Sun Tzu (but only the Samuel B. Griffith translation…all others SUCK!!!).

      I will look forward to reading Ruiz’s contribution to self-improvement.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 05, 2011 @ 16:43:31

      Hi Andrew! Thanks for the book tip and recommendation. Can you discuss further how being a narcississit has helped you? IMO I always believed people really abhorred narcississt behavior. Also, do you think it would be as easy for a woman to develop this trait as would a man? I think men by nature are self serving while women are the opposite. Although, I could be wrong. For a man being cocky and such is in some ways considered masculine and forgiving. Not so much in women who I believe by nature are more humble beings.

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      • Andrew Medina
        Sep 05, 2011 @ 21:05:26

        I have a very strong work ethic, I can actually back up that swagger. That may be the reason it’s not so abhorrent from me due to me really being that awesome.

        Just don’t take anything personally. If someone is lashing out at you, it’s typically them projecting some sort of inadequacy upon you. As a gun guy I get that sort of behavior from the haplophobes (anti-gun) types all the time. When you’re a narcissist it’s very easy to flip the script on someone because the attack doesn’t phase you.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 06, 2011 @ 08:28:35

          Andrew this is true. usually people lashing out at others are projecting. But i feel even the strongest person can eventually become affected by wallowing in toooo much negativity.

          I do try to be a bit narcississit but i always fail for some reason. I think you are right though. When people have a certain aura about them, others have no choice but to submit to that aura and thus treat the person exuding that aura like he/she demands and wants to be treated.

          So if you exude insecurity/instability people will play on that. If you exude strength and stability others will act accordingly to you.

          Good stuff – thanks 🙂

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          • Liza207
            Sep 06, 2011 @ 09:48:51

            Andrew is very correct when someone is lashing out, especially, if they don’t know you personally–they are indeed projecting. And some people love living in their fantasies so much that once someone comes along, and attempts to interject any reality into them–it freaks them out. It’s like attempting to awaken a sleepwalker, don’t do it.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 06, 2011 @ 23:20:00

              Yep Liza I noticed that. And people who are unhappy will always try to tear another person down, especially if they are an easy target or come off as happy themselves.

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  4. Mark Slater
    Sep 06, 2011 @ 00:51:08

    Neecy,
    That is a very good post. I, for one, would be very reticent about being so open on a public forum.
    It might help my analysis if I knew just what the source is of your negativity. Remember, even the best of us have our ups and downs.

    I would also have you consider the following:
    — This “Liza 207” person really seems like a good friend who has protected your back on several occasions here and at Heartiste. Remember Jimmy Stewart from “It’s a Wonderful life” No man [or woman] is poor who has friends.
    — It always helps me to reflect on my many accomplishments and high sales figures at work. I Don’t know if a woman would be comforted thus as much as a man, but you may wish to give it a try!
    — If you haven’t already, find a good church in which to worship with a good body of believers and a pastor committed to serving the Lord.
    — Keep you mind focused on what is good (perhaps more difficult considering the condition of our society nowadays) “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

    Sorry, not very funny or clever today. I’ll try again later.

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    • Zorro
      Sep 06, 2011 @ 06:32:03

      I just got the 60th Anniversary Edition of It’s A Wonderful Life. How odd that, like The Big Lebowski, it failed in theaters and yet went on to become a classic, dearly loved by millions.

      Frank Capra. They don’t make ’em like that anymore.

      PS: The girl who played Zuzu was Karolyn Grimes. I MET HER at a bookstore in Newburyport, Massachusetts, at a book signing (she was selling her book about the film).

      I MET ZUZU!!!!!!!!!

      Touch me. Hold my hand. I’m awesomeness personified.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 06, 2011 @ 08:40:30

      Mark,

      Such a beautiful response and I feel better reading it! Thank you! 🙂 And you are correct, anyone with great friends and family is not poor or vacant. I have been blessed with both and I always have to remind myself of such.

      People underestimate the power and value of great friends and family. And I always have to remind myself although i haven’t found “the one” I should be very happy and content that i have wonderful people in my life who love me unconditionally to help fill that void, encourage me and keep my spirits up.

      And yes i am a spiritual person. So I love the scripture you posted 🙂 I also LOVE going to Church on occassion to get a good word as well. The thing about meeting people at church is I just try to avoid typical churches where the people (or church leaders) are hypocrites fakes and phonies who feel going to Church absolves them of anything they do or say negative. So when I do go, I just pretty much go for the reading and then leave. I don’t usually interact or mingle b/c I have grew up around church people who were some of the meanest hypocrites walking.

      In church they talked the good talk, but as soon as they were off church grounds (and sometimes on church grounds) they were gossipy and evil and jealous. As a result, I don’t tend to interact with many church goers for this reason. I prefer more real people who are balanced and understand that while they can be spiritual or religious they too can understand they are not perfect. Some people believe going to church makes them god like and perfect and that is so far from the truth.

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  5. Firepower
    Sep 06, 2011 @ 10:26:03

    neeecy

    You are a new leaf starting over. On a new journey in your life. This means I cannot allow you to get sidetracked by negativity b/c we will never get to that place at the top of the mountain

    girl you still got time, go back to that blond weeve and you’ll slay those rich whiteboys and nfl types with your charms.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 06, 2011 @ 10:43:04

      Uuuhm okay – blonde weave? Why would you ever think I wore a blonde weave? there are Black women who like themselves and do not feel wearing blonde hair makes them more attractive if this is what you are suggesting?

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      • Firepower
        Sep 06, 2011 @ 11:09:00

        your size S tshirt pic had you with it. the one with you hanging all on chriss angel.
        btw, when i return to cali, i’m gonna use the info in this post to game you SO hard

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        • Neecy
          Sep 06, 2011 @ 11:29:11

          That was light brown not blonde. LOL! And they were braids. Oh and i know way too much about game now to be unconsciously gamed. In fact, I think most women are aware that men game them its just they choose to play along for whatever reasons. 😉

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          • Firepower
            Sep 06, 2011 @ 11:56:15

            yeah, your right. you’d totally be wise to me. you must date a lot of guys to get so much game experience

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            • Neecy
              Sep 06, 2011 @ 23:18:50

              Well I get to see game in action when I do go out and guys approach so that with reading has helped A LOT. Plus i think most men naturally use some game, they may not realize it but i think its in the males hormones.

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              • Firepower
                Sep 07, 2011 @ 09:10:07

                yeah, guys use that canned, written mystery stuff now that its so out there. but admit it, you girls alre the biggest gamers of all. if you were older, your style really might work on me.

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 07, 2011 @ 12:12:18

                  Ha! I don’t think girls really game b/c we don’t need to (at least I don’t think we do) and how old does a woman have to be to game you? Lol

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                  • Firepower
                    Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:29:28

                    hmm good question. i get the feeling your too young for me. i’d say a girl has to know who Lena Horne was, not that she had to see her perform lol or maybe diana ross

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  6. Mark Slater
    Sep 06, 2011 @ 11:45:12

    Zorro: That’s pretty cool. I know Karolyn Grimes has spoken out a great deal for the movie and the impact it has made on peoples’ lives.

    Neecy: “The thing about meeting people at church is I just try to avoid typical churches where the people (or church leaders) are hypocrites fakes and phonies who feel going to Church absolves them of anything they do or say negative.” That’s pretty accurate in far too many cases.

    I remember the photo Firepower mentioned. That was actually quite alluring. However, I personally fancy more the raven hair.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 06, 2011 @ 23:17:41

      Mark thanks! I am one woman that luurves playing around with hair color. LOL. I usually switch my color about twice a year. I really haven’t figured out if I prefer my hair darker or lighter. I always feel that lighter hair does make a woman look a bit younger and darker hair makes her look more sophisticated. As soon as I see a woman with a pretty dark color i want it dark. Then i see someone with a pretty lighter shade and I want it light. *sigh* It does seems these days people are appreciating darker hair (maybe its the kardashian influence lol) although in Cali everyone still wants to be blonde and highlighted.

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  7. Marellus
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 15:37:02

    Neecy.

    The sad fact is that Heartiste’s advice works. A woman from whom I buy cigarettes loves to “shit test” me. And it seems that I passed most of them. The last time I was there she made a point of being busy writing a letter. She flat out refused to serve me, and just sat there immersing herself in the writing of her letter.

    And there I was, staring at her in befuddlement. Eventually I clicked what was happening and said to her : “You’re doing that on purpose aren’t you”

    She immediately smiled, got up, and helped me with my cigarettes.

    Later I asked her why she was doing this to me.

    And she just said that every time I’m there she has this desire to test me.

    So we talked further and then she dropped a bombshell :

    She told me she was only working until 12 on a certain day, and that I should come and service her. Yes, the word she used was “service”.

    She is a very attractive single mother, that had to close her twitter and facebook accounts due to stalkers.

    And I’ll be honest when I say that I don’t know what to make of this … there is a difference between theory and practice after all. :-/

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    • Neecy
      Sep 07, 2011 @ 15:49:59

      Marellus,

      I understand. I am not saying that Heartiste’s blog doesn’t hold some truth and cannot help a number of men who have been in the dark and left behind with the opposite sex. I agree that men just like women should have a place where they can learn about how to deal with the opposite sex. I guess sometimes those places are for their respective genders. That is, unless it’s a place that invites and fosters conversation between both genders (which I have yet to find a site that does this).

      Its just some of the stuff i do feel is somewhat over the top in terms of realistic and it could set some fellas up for disappointment if they find that those rules don’t apply to MOST or majority of men.

      But i agree with some of his philosophies – not most, but some.

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      • zorro
        Sep 07, 2011 @ 16:41:59

        The only reason I started learning all about “game” is because I stumbled across some PUA site talking about “shit tests.” I thought that was a ridiculous term, but when I read about what they are, it reminded me of something I learned in high school waaaaaaaay back in the 1970s (when I used to ride to school on a log skid behind my pet triceratops). One of my sociology teachers told us about how women all over the world from all cultures have a practice of deliberately trespassing on a man’s boundaries for the explicit purpose of seeing his reaction. This is a kind of shit test or congruency test that enables women to tell if a guy is what he claims to be. It’s a sound and valid strategy of avoiding the wrong mate, it isn’t taught, and so is likely genetically mapped (i.e., instinctual).

        On that basis alone, I decided to spend some time learning about game and reading about evolutionary psychology.

        Wow.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 07, 2011 @ 16:47:15

          Ok so what *EXACTLY* is a shit test. I know what it is but would like if someone can provide specific examples os such. I am sure I have shit tested my way through relationships and men but i am not quite sure what I did or said to make it a shit test. LOL

          You are right though. The onus is on women to really protect themselves when it comes to mating – so I guess the way in which women do this is through doing things that annoy the hell out of men, while providing her a with a sense of security?

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          • zorro
            Sep 07, 2011 @ 17:45:03

            From PUALingo.com:

            A shit test is when a woman gives a guy a hard time, usually for the purpose of seeing how he will react. Because women (especially attractive women) are hit on all the time, they have developed behaviors that quickly disqualify potential suitors that are not of a high enough value for her. The shit test is one way to do this. Shit tests can be challenges, IODs or reframes that an HB throws to test the PUA.

            For example, a woman might suddenly change threads and start talking about sex very explicitly, to test the PUA’s reaction to the story. This is a congruency test of the pickup artist’s sexual experience. Shit tests can also take the form of insults. For example, when a pick up artist goes up to a woman and compliments her shoes, she might reply with a snide comment such as “Thanks, but why are you looking at my shoes? The PUA can choose to interpret this comment in a variety of ways. Is it a genuine question? Does the artist answer directly or indirectly? A quick way is to acknowledge it, and move on: “yes, I love style and I happened to notice your shoes. So what brings you out here tonight?” The PUA can also escalate the situation, emulating the case of poker. “I love shoes. I’m totally gay”. Saying this will escalate the playfullness of the situation, but expect more shit tests and congruence tests to follow along this line. Doing these things demonstrates that he is confident and unruffled by her comments, effectively “passing” the test.

            Another form of shit test is when a woman immediately disqualifies herself as a potential suitor by saying a comment such as “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m a lesbian.” Again, such comments can be interpreted in several ways: a) the woman really does have a boyfriend or is a lesbian, b) the woman is not interested in talking to anyone, or c) the woman is throwing a shit test to see how the PUA will react. If it is the latter, the PUA can overcome it by again, ignoring it, agreeing with it, or making a joke about it. Tyler Durden used to say, “ignore everything that the women does or says that is not assisting with the process of seduction.”. Essentially, acknowledge all forward advancements of game, and ignore any deviations from it. Mystery would agree in that the M3 model and the attraction model are based off the woman’s game frame, not the man’s.

            Recognizing shit tests can be difficult, especially since the comment could be interpreted in several different ways. For example, a shit test could be a way to test congruency, a genuine IOD (slight negative starting value), her being in a bad mood, her having her bitch shield up, and of course, some women are just real bitches. Usually, the best frame to take is that of the confident and best self. If shit tests are obviously being thrown, don’t give up! Continue plowing until the set hooks or the PUA is clearly blown out. Some of our best lines came from women who were giving us shit in a set. You may lose the battle, but you’ll learn something in the process.

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            • Marellus
              Sep 07, 2011 @ 18:10:40

              Very comprehensive … thanks …

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            • Neecy
              Sep 07, 2011 @ 18:18:53

              Thank you Zorro for the explanation. I don’t even think most women know they shit test or really what they are.

              I’m guessing shit testing for women can go beyond men as well – to friends, family, strangers etc.

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  8. zorro
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 16:43:24

    Love the new photo, by the way.

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  9. n/a
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 22:41:01

    Neecy,

    Don’t stay away from Uncle Roissy’s too long. You are meant to learn and be burnt in that little online crucible.

    It’s what is called a refining fire. 😉

    Take care beautiful.–

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  10. Neecy
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:39:22

    @ FIREPOWER

    WHAT! LOL How old are you FP? And better believe I am quite familiar with lena Horne and Diana Ross. Geez Louieez…

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  11. Emma the Emo
    Sep 13, 2011 @ 14:30:51

    I first found that blog several years ago, but then forgot about it and came back. It’s fun, but in a mind-poisoning way, which slowly turns to just fun again. So if you stick around there longer, it won’t bother you anymore. I think Heartiste might be good at demolishing pretty lies, but he’s also good at creating ugly ones.

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    • Liza207
      Sep 13, 2011 @ 19:35:37

      “I think Heartiste might be good at demolishing pretty lies, but he’s also good at creating ugly ones.”

      Absolutely.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 13, 2011 @ 20:24:57

      Yeah if a girl hangs out there she really has to have thick skin (which I have) but being there too much isnt really uplifting. It can be soul crushing in some ways. Maybe my skin isn’t as thick as I thought it was.

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      • Maya
        Sep 14, 2011 @ 03:26:15

        Yes, it’s hurtful especially when you read all those deluded comments. I’m seriously worried for some of the people there (like Cadnerd, xsplat or RooshV – read his last post on his blog: http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-know-if-a-girl-was-really-raped-or-not#comments – Not only that this guy lacks any empathy, he seems to be quite stupid as well – that’s such a sad combination … xsplat has the same problem). This is OT now, but I’m really interested what do you think about this Roosh? Isn’t he so boring, omega, such a liar? What do you feel when you read his blog? I only feel disgust and an urgency to find him and talk to him in person. He seems like a real psycho to me, with no self-awareness. When you read his blog you notice that he has absolutely NO sense of humor. Scary.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 14, 2011 @ 07:37:46

          Maya,

          I haven’t really read Roosh site except for the response to Naomi Wolfe’s article. I don’t think I want to click on that link and read that.

          I think you should definitley consider viewing and reading more positive uplifting blogs as well.

          I’m a pretty thick skinned gal but sometimes stuff can get to you and bring you down interacting with angry people.

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          • Maya
            Sep 16, 2011 @ 09:24:34

            I was reading more of his posts today and I start to understand him. He’s in a really sad situation and he feels absolutely no respect towards women. Read this one: http://www.rooshv.com/the-dark-side (It’s not scary and disgusting as most of his stuff but is just very sad) I have now more empathy for him and I hope he’ll be able to stop with his addiction.

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