EXCUSE MOI while I have a meltdown rivaling the length of WAR & PEACE

“Na na na na na!! I can screw more younger people than you when I get old!”

WTF? Seriously if there was ever a time when one doubted the real emasculation of American men look no further than today. I am convinced a lot of American men need to pack their fkn bags, STFU and GTFO already. Go to Russia, ASIA, the newborn infant section in the hospital, bumfuckland or better – off the face of the earth or wherever the hell else you will find your bliss. Maybe then you will finally take a whopping dose of STFU already and stop targeting the women in your age group with your projections and venom. I am really tired of the venom spewed towards women who are beyond the ages of 29, not married or walking around with a brood of children – as if that is the only kind of worthy woman alive.

WTH is with all the hatred against women who are no longer in their prime? Its borderline sick the obsession so many American men have with putting down older single women to uplift and pedestalize young women. If you like young women FINE. Why the H E double LL do you need to constantly BASH older women to prove this? When it gets to a point where men take great pleasure in competing with women about who can screw more people half their age, or who “looks better” when they age then we have hit an all-time low. Its pathetic. If you can screw a bunch of young women – then do it and STFU about older women and who and what they can and can’t do. Why are you worried about what older women say and do????? I don’t get it. Its so effeminate to want to compete with women over silly stuff, just as it is for women who want to compete with men. America is truly off its damn rocker. You have men and women competing against each other over the dumbest things that means nothing in the bigger scheme of things.

OLDER MEN and YOUNGER WOMEN

Does it happen more often or more than older women and younger men? YES. AND???? Okayyyy soooo you want a doggie biscuit? In a male dominated society the stigmas attached to older men and younger women are not even close to the stigmas against older women and younger men. I don’t believe most younger people in general are really attracted to people who remind them of their mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers. There are exceptions of course. But not the general rule.

Don’t give me that women age worse and look worse than men after a certain age crap! OLD PEOPLE NEVER LOOK AS GOOD AS THEY DID WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER – PERIOD! That’s how it was set up. Both men and women age at the same rates and levels of attractiveness after a certain age. And if ANYONE tries telling me that younger women are more physically attracted to older men b/c older men look better than the men their age, they are LIARS!

Younger women are attracted to older men’s MONEY AND RESOURCES – women are more socialized to put up with older, uglier or disgusting if she can manage to enjoy the materialistic things he can offer her in exchange for his oldness and lack of youth. Its not an older guys hot irresistible drop dead make her panties wet looks that makes young women want him. Young women are not sitting and masturbating to old men. So there goes that whole argument. No old man looks better than a younger man – NO WAY. Just as women are often reminded that they can’t physically compete with younger women in their prime. It is what it is – and that goes for BOTH GENDERS. Sorry! The problem is when people of a certain age start obsessing about this. There is nothing wrong with admitting that a younger woman beats out a woman past her prime or a younger man pysically beats out a man past his prime. it okay – that is nature.

You will never convince any sane human being that a 50 or 60 or even 40 year old man can compete in looks with a 20 or 30 year old guy. Just like no 40, 50 or 60 year old woman can compete with young women in their prime. DUUUUH! Does that mean I should walk around or sit online talking shit about older men not looking like they did when they were in their primes? Should I talk shit about older men no longer in their primes talking about how many young women they want to screw or screw? NO B/C I really don’t care! WHY? Because people age. That’s just a part of life. You have these men out here who feel its just fine and dandy to walk around trying to hold onto every little nook and cranny of youth that has surpassed them and everyone thinks its okay. Yet when a woman does it, we’re everything but a child of GOD? The delusional men who actually believe they still look as good as they did when they were young is really sad.

Those who don’t really have anything (or who don’t have anything going for them) talk the most about what they can get. Those who *really* HAVE IT don’t talk about it they DO IT. And they damn sure don’t openly begrudge and put down others to get it.

Seriously folks is this what life is about for so many men? Sitting around on the internet gloating about how many younger women you can screw compared to older women? Obsessing over every word and action of what some older women do? If men were really getting all the young poon they could get their hands on, they wouldn’t flinch, bat, blink an eye about a woman past her prime. The focus on women who they have no interest in whatsoever is plain pathetic.

“We’re just trying to show younger women the way so they don’t end up like cougars later in life” Argument

Ah huh. Yeah okay. I’ll buy that part of it. Now don’t get me wrong. Young women need to be aware that screwing over that good guy in your early years can and will come back to bite you in the ass. Screwing around and being carelessly promiscuous and wasting your time with bad boys in your prime will also come back later to bite you in the butt. If you are a woman who wants children and a husband, you better be preparing yourself no later than mid to late 20’s to do it. This is the prime age for starting families for many women THESE DAYS who have gone to college etc.

Understand No man wants to be with, settle down with or start a family with a reformed used up by bad boys slut, skank. It’s not fair to the good men to have to take up some bad boys sloppy seconds b/c the girl wanted to reward shitty behavior in men. I get the griping here from the fellas. Too many women do waste away and squander their youth and beauty fooling around and rewarding the jerks and losers and assholes who will never marry them and be good fathers and hubbies. And all the good guys who were left out don’t feel they should have to buy damaged goods from women who screwed around their entire youth only to want some nice guy to settle down with her later (the same guys she ignored) early years. I GET IT!

HOWEVER, MANY of the so called cougars that these emasculated men gripe about are WOMEN WHO WERE PREVIOUSLY MARRRIED IN THEIR EARLY YEARS!!! They ended up divorcing b/c as statistics show people who marry young have the highest rates of divorce later in life than those who marry older. So now what’s the excuse? The fact is most people who marry young these days end up in divorces no sooner than 5-10 years down the road. So these women are now single in their past prime years.

The fact is some men are trying to gloat and brag b/c you don’t have shit else going on in your lives and so you focus on easy targets to make yourselves feel better (the women in your age group). If men were really concerned about setting younger women in their prime up for success later in life, you’d create forums, outlets and articles targeting them and not using past prime women as the punching bags. You’d do what you need to do as men to make yourselves more attractive as husbands and fathers to women half your age and wouldn’t use an outside easy target as a punching bag to do it.

The fact is a lot of men are projecting their own fears of them aging onto past prime women. The reality is this is not 1950’s anymore. We are in a new day where women do not have to marry and pop out kids in their VERY early years (18-24) and can also make the choice to NOT marry or have children if they so not desire to. Men feel they should be able to ,marry up and have kids with a very young woman (after these men have lived out and enjoyed the freedom their youth had to offer). not EVERY WOMAN that didn’t get married in her prime was some old used up slut who partook in a billion penises during her prime.

Men today are not settling down and marrying as they were in the past, just like women are not settling down marrying and having kids earlier in life as in the past. A woman cannot MARRY herself. If men are not marrying women, women will find themselves later in life not having marriage. So they are considered “damaged goods” b/c they didn’t drag some poor guy by knife or gun point to the alter and force his penis in her to create children as to avoid being called a washed up cougar later in life?

THE ATTRACTIVENESS OF YOUNGER PEOPLE

FACT: Younger people OF ANY GENDER look better than older people OF ANY GENDER. END FACT.

I don’t think there is a sane human on earth that would agree that older people look better than younger people. AND this includes BOTH men and women. The obsession with youth so many American men have to the point of BASHING women in their age group is utterly pathetic. NO ONE STAYS YOUNG FOREVER. Just b/c you view younger women attractive doesn’t make you entitled to them – and damn sure doesn’t make you entitled to put down older women or women your age in the process. If a severely obese woman is attracted to and only gets hot and wet for a hot tall muscular alpha stud, does that make her ENTITLED to him? And does she have a right to put down men who are just as fat and ugly as she is b/c she hates fat obese men who look like her? NO! SO why do you do it to older women in your age group?

Most people enjoy being with and around others close to their ages. For those who don’t – FINE – do you and leave your pathetic griping’s about the women you don’t like alone. I’d like to see the stats on married coupling and their ages. I can almost bet these paring are very close in age the majority of the time.

There are attractive people of any age. Mainly the ones who keep it in perspective, appreciate the life and youth they had, enjoyed it for what it was and have comfortably accepted their maturing process as best they can. They still continue to do things to make themselves look and feel better, but not to the point of obsessing over trying to relive their youth through:
(men) screwing women half their age
(women) getting all kinds of plastic surgery trying to look like they did in their prime.
There is nothing more pathetic than an older person trying to still hold onto to youth when it has clearly passed them.

I don’t see anything wrong with people making personal choices to be with whomever they wish. But when you step on others to do it, then YES it’s a problem b/c now you are opening the door for people to insult you and question why you do what you do.

I am also not against dating an older guy. But if he DARE says one bad word about the women in his age group he is SCUM of the earth to me.

There are some “cougars” out there who really need to tone it down a bit. Ladies past a certain age you simply should be accepting and embracing of the next stage in your life and age. The same goes for men.

I’ll probably be called a “FEMNAZI” for this post, but one doesn’t have to be a feminist to be bothered by the barrage of insults and unfair attacks on a woman’s aging process by MEN with issues against women in their age group. ITS DISGUSTING IMMATURE PROJECTING BEHVAIOR!

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119 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. zorro
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 00:12:34

    Presumably this post was not intended as a birthday present to a certain soon-to-be 51-year old moose?

    On a related note, when I was 27, I had a relationship with a 42-year old woman. I will spare you the lurid details, but the sex was interfuckingplanetary! The role playing. The spankings. The steel-boned corset and French maid outfit. The tiled kitchen floor.

    I don’t know if I have the hots for older women or just 42-year old Swedish chicks with 36 triple Ds and a booty that would shame Kim Kardashian.

    Just sayin’.

    Oh, and Susan Lucci is 62, by the way. Just thought I’d add that.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 00:47:37

      Presumably this post was not intended as a birthday present to a certain soon-to-be 51-year old moose?

      Not at all 🙂

      As I said in the post I don’t have a problem with dating a guy who is older but if he is one who has never dated women in his age range, i find that suspicious and telling and want no parts of him. I find older people who have embraced their maturity more attractive than ones who are out trying to hold onto the youth that has past them by or who obsess over it by putting down people their age to uplift women half their age. My dad is 60 and is still QUITE attractive and can if he chooses date a woman much younger than he is. He actually found a woman his age who is very attractive and whose company he really enjoys. This woman is very attractive and well put together – she has taken very good care of herself and he is really happy?

      You are going to be 51 I have yet to see you bash women your age or talk down about them. In fact you admitted to liking women of all age ranges – and seem to appreciate beauty of women at all stages and that is normal and healthy to me. Just because I see younger guys as attractive doesn’t mean I don’t also see the beauty in older guys (who are not insecure). Some people simply want younger mates and I don’t care. I just hate them putting down older people to do it.

      A swedish woman with D boobs and a big butt? HUH? I thought they were all pretty slender on average. WOW Is this the one who almost squirt your eyeball out? LOL

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      • zorro
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 01:03:09

        1. I never bash people in groups (unless they’re Nazis, Klansmen or other agenda-driven swine). I can’t believe I could, at my age, find happiness with a woman younger than 35…and that would be pushing it. I am still attracted to older women. Lots of guys are. Older women are more emotionally stable and after menopause, you save a fortune on birth control.

        2. 36 triple Ds. MOMMY!!! A big butt? Not really big from my point of view, just lusciously plump and zaftig!. And she put it to good use, IYKWIM.

        3. Not Swedish nationally, just ethnically. Her folks were from Minnesota (lots of Swedes). She didn’t look like Ann-Margret, but you could easily see she was Swedish. Very attractive woman. And she used me for sex like I was her little fuck toy. And did I ever enjoy that! She had none of the inhibitions that younger women usually have. She enjoyed sex and, apparently, 27-year old bull moosies.

        Once you do it with a moose, you never go back.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 08, 2011 @ 07:48:07

          I could, at my age, find happiness with a woman younger than 35…and that would be pushing it. I am still attracted to older women. Lots of guys are. Older women are more emotionally stable and after menopause, you save a fortune on birth control.

          I agree. i am not saying its wrong for a guy/gal to only want to date younger, but its just not right to put down others to do it. Its the equivalent of Black men who date out of their race, but instead of doing that, they also have to drag Black women through the mud in the process. I don’t get it.

          You definitley still have some spunk in you I think you can handle a woman at any age 🙂

          Once you do it with a moose, you never go back.

          lol Pray tell what is it that a moose does to get loose?

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        • Liza207
          Sep 09, 2011 @ 08:54:22

          Zorro,

          Why do you think that men in their teens and twenties are so drawn to older women? There have been songs written by young men about wanting to have sex with MILFs and older women as well as porn aimed at younger men who fancy older women (I have even heard of Granny Porn). I know of several handsome Hollywood actors who have been married to, dated or sexed older women in their teens and twenties. Tom Cruise’s first marriage was to an actress 10 years older than himself and he had a thing with Cher, too. Antonio Sabato Jr. (Gorgeous Italian Soap star and Calvin Klein underwear model and there is absolutely nothing beta about this guy) got married when he was 19 to a woman 10 years older and after that marriage ended he got involved with another much older woman while still in his twenties. There is Justin Timberlake, Chris Evans, Ashton Kutcher, Brad Pitt and I am sure there are many others who were involved with older women when they were in their twenties. Therefore, you are in good company.

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          • Zorro
            Sep 10, 2011 @ 17:21:38

            My theory: High School.

            I flunked algebra twice. I had to go to summer school twice because I flunked algebra, twice.

            First algebra teacher: Miss Daley. A drop-dead ringer for Kate Jackson from the original Charlie’s Angels TV show from the 70s.

            Second algebra teacher: Sweaty Betty Carminetti. Lusciously plump chest (we all thought she was lactating) and an ass you wanted to just tunnel into and set up house.

            Yeah. Like I’m really paying attention to 3x X 4Y = ?

            I was a 16 year old bull moose with raging hormones that craved release, and my first fantasies of release were women old enough to be my mother.

            That’s my theory. And it’s also why my GPA kept me out of the better colleges. Fucking Dept of Education. What kind of a certifiable asshole puts smokin’ hawt babes in front of teen bull moosies and expects them to learn anything but how to pump their love muscle in the boys’ room between algebra and Sociology 101?

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  2. Mark Slater
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 01:13:18

    Miss Neecy,
    Perhaps you will find my dating life, broken down by age, of interest to gauge the “average guy”:
    Me Her
    20 15 (don’t judge me)
    20 20
    22 18
    22 18
    25 42 (I was very much in love)
    26 30
    29 31
    31 49 (more of a mutual crush, we both realized we were at different stages)
    37 19 (very cute. she actually wanted me, if you can believe it!)
    37 19 (she eventually rejected me for a guy even older than myself)

    I think most men are all over the chart like this. When we find what we like, we go for it. I am now 39 and would still like to settle down and become a father (and a younger woman would indeed have more energy, greater fertility). I actually now have quite a thing for this certain woman (age 35). She is on the East Coast, and I am in Mid-America. Alas.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 07:54:00

      Mark (lol) at the “don’t judge me”. I won’t. I think you have been more so on the path of trying love with the women you were attracted to despite age. Its the putting down of women in the same age group that bugs me moreso than the dating habits of older guys.

      I also understand and agree that younger women are more fertile and less likely to run into issues with having kids than say a woman over 35. I agree that women who WANT to marry and have kids need to do it closer to their mid to late 20’s. If I had a daughter i would rasie her that if she wants to marry and have kids she should be looking for a stable partner while in college start preparing herself no later than her mid 20’s to do it. That is ONLY if she says she wants to get married and have kids. Otherwise, i’d tell her to do what makes her happy.

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  3. Mark Slater
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 01:26:26

    Also…
    I would think that most men would be open to pursuing women near their own ages. What we do NOT want are women who, without remorse, have ridden the love rollercoaster throughout their youths and are now out to snare a “beta chump”. Sure people make mistakes, but c’mon.

    I would guess that you have went over to Heartiste despite Liza’s better advice. I would urge you not to internalize what most of those Bozo’s think. I don’t like to see you so unhappy.

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    • zorro
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 01:35:51

      Ditto that. Methinks this post was the result of Heartiste’s post on John Cleese’s latest wife.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:01:43

        And yes, I did *HAPPEN* to view H’s site and saw all the comments. But what really got me really upset was viewing the comments in response to the article by Naomi Wolfe on Roosh’s site. It really bothered me. It was over 200 comments of just cruel taunting of women past a certain age. I just couldn’t take it and had to post. So yes I posted this thread while I was emotional and upset. i probably should have cooled off before typing it.

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        • Liza207
          Sep 08, 2011 @ 09:50:35

          I don’t get this, most people don’t age well. And I’m not buying that men age better anymore. The only men that look good as they age are good-looking men that’s even if they have taken good care of themselves to begin with. Most other men get fat, start balding and have issues with maintaining their erections. Those are the facts.

          And I get that men prefer younger women. But older women prefer younger men. Why wouldn’t they? It’s beyond ridiculous for men to believe otherwise. But they can continue to deny this all they want if it makes them feel better about getting older.

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          • Neecy
            Sep 08, 2011 @ 10:04:05

            Well actually Liza I believe that men and women both are aging better these days than in the past. I see a lot of men and women in their 40’s and 50’s who still look quite good more than i see the opposite. but then again i live in California where people are very vain. LOL

            I even look at my dad who is 60. He looks AMAZING and is still very attractive. Even better now than when he did in his early 50’s b/c he started taking better care of himself, working out, eating better.

            But I just think people work harder at maintianing thier looks as they get older so its reflecting in their looks as they age.

            I think people who look really bad aging are people who don’t give a crap and have just given up and stopped trying.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:01:01

      Mark,

      I agree. I don’t think its fair for men to have to take up with damaged women who screwed their way through youth being promiscious, drinking and partying up with losers, jerks and bad boys. Its not fair to think they should suddenly take up with the good nice decent quality men later after they have become damaged goods.

      The problem is not all women after a certain age did that but they are still single. So then people assume they slept around, dogged out the good guys in their early years. its not true. SOme women never had the chance to date or be with decent or good guys b/c they never approached them.

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      • Liza207
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 09:35:10

        Women who are single at a certain age are judged harshly but I believe men are also judged(i.e. are often assumed to be gay).

        I often wonder if love (relationship) is necessary to live a fulfilling life. We as Americans are so obsessed with the concept of having love and finding love. Sometimes I think it is all B.S. and merely a product of American pop culture and our obsession with fairytales. I think that sociologist and anthropologist should have a closer look.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 08, 2011 @ 09:49:40

          Liza,

          You are right. Any male over a certain age not married with kids is considered gay or something wrong. The same with women. its so ridiculous. Its like if you are not married or in a LTR after a certain point something is wrong with you. I don’t believe that.

          I’m not going to lie. I do think and believe being in a happy relationship is much much better than being alone. BUT that doesn’t mean a person who is single cannot find happiness in other ways if they try. Being in a relationship with a male is ideal to me. but ONLY in a relationship that is healthy and one in which we are both reciprocating. Most people are in bad relationships – which to me is the same or worse than being single. People waste energy in being with others they know they are not happy with simply for the sake of saying they have a mate.

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          • Liza207
            Sep 08, 2011 @ 09:58:34

            I know this may sound a bit feminazi-like but men have always seemed like they are more trouble than they are worth. And like you, most of the people I know are miserable in their romantic relationships but would rather be in it them than be alone. Sad. I want to be in a healthy relationship or I don’t want to be in one at all.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 08, 2011 @ 10:12:32

              Well i personally don’t subscribe to the belief that men are more trouble than they are worth, and I don’t like it when men say that about women. Personally, I generally DESIRE and love men and enjoy being around them (when they are normal and sane). In fact i enjoy their company more than most women. But at the same time I am not desperate.

              I’m not saying you should change your beliefs on that, but This to me signals the divide between men and women which i don’t like. What the problem is, is not men or women being more trouble than they are worth, but being with the *WRONG* types of men or women can be more trouble than its worth.

              Men and women NEED each other. God created us both to work together and have relationships (sexual, intimate, friendships) and as corny or over the top as that sounds I believe and subscribe to that. i don’t care what anyone says. If you are attracted to the opposite sex you want to be with them and around them. If you hate others of the opposite sex, then you don’t want to be around or with them.

              I think men and women should stop saying this about each other. It really does nothing to mend the divide IMO.

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              • Liza207
                Sep 08, 2011 @ 10:31:17

                I see it this way because I mentioned most poeple(women) are in miserable relationships with cheating and abusive spouses. My statement had nothing to do with not liking men as individuals. My best friend ever was a guy. But we can’t dismiss the fact that there are a lot of messed men out there (And women, but I’m not interested in falling in love with one of them) who do awful things to women who fall in love with them.

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 08, 2011 @ 11:45:53

                  I agree. But the way you said it seemed like you were saying generally men are more trouble than they are worth. I was just saying that is not something I believe in unless its a jerk or guy who mistreats the women in his life. I guess I have avoided dealing with crazies and loonies so I don’t really harbor those kinds of feeling towards men in general b/c I haven’t experienced personally any real bad relationship with men like this.

                  I know there are a lot of miserable people in relationships with bad partners. But it is also up to those women/men to remove themselves from such relationships. After a certain point it is the fault of the person who chooses to stay in a relationship with a bad partner.

                  A lot of times women will get into a relationship with a guy who they know is no good then later say they are being mistreated. People need to be more patient and discerning about those whom they let in their lives. BOTH men and women. Desperation is what causes people to settle and also become angry or bitter towards the opposite sex later on.

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                  • Liza207
                    Sep 08, 2011 @ 12:05:41

                    Yeah, there are times when I’m really disappointed by the behavior of men (like almost everyday) and feel that, at times, they are more trouble than they are worth. I know have been feeling that way a little, lately. But I also know that one has to be positive and keep in mind that there may be someone out there that will be worth your time.

                    There will be negative feelings towards the opposite sex from time to time. I think it’s normal. It’s the neverending hate fests and wanting revenge is when it’s overboard. Noone should get to that point. At that stage, why are you looking for love and marriage?

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  4. Anonymous
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 04:55:22

    “HOWEVER, MANY of the so called cougars that these emasculated men gripe about are WOMEN WHO WERE PREVIOUSLY MARRRIED IN THEIR EARLY YEARS!!! They ended up divorcing b/c as statistics show people who marry young have the highest rates of divorce later in life than those who marry older.”

    Statistics also show that women initiate 80% of divorces. The problems are deeper. Women are encouraged to divorce past their prime because of the divorce laws. They are merciless in forsaking their husbands and families sometimes for futile reasons. And they cannot be totally satisfied with family men beta husbands because they played the field just like men and their partners cannot compete with their previous flings.
    Men do probably have some kind of responsibility in this mess. But most of the time, men’s rep is damaged by the behavior of ALPHA males, those who abuse, cheat, abandon… Nice guys, family guys, decent husbands (who constitute the majority of men) do always lose, when they’re single and when they’re married.

    Neecy, this is not about american men, it is about the male psyche. Just like we accepted (with great difficulty) women’s hypergamy and their craving for bad boys in their prime years, you have to accept that men, EVERYWHERE, are primarily attracted to youth and beauty. This is hardwired in us, we can’t help it. Of course you will find exceptions, but don’t ever read reality through thses exceptions.

    I know you have a personal stake at this. In your middle 30s, you didn’t hit the wall yet, but you have to hurry up. Don’t lie to yourself, spinsterhood is not fun.

    http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/a-post-marital-spinsters-rationalization-hamster-in-the-final-stages-of-exhaustion/ (except in this article)

    In many of your last comments on various sites, you seem angry and resentful, and you want to engage men in their field, and become a cougar just for the sake of a challenge. You’re better than that. You don’t only have sexual needs, don’t even start to think like that. You crave for emotional bonding with a man you love, that’s how you are hardwired, don’t fight it.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:09:34

      ANON,

      I understand Western women have contributed mostly to their own demise. And I agree a lot of women just up and divorce their husbands the first sign of being bored or feeling they are “missing out” and i think they deserve their fate if they ruin a stable family or situation b/c they think they can run around past their prime being who they were in their 20’s. YES some women are delusional and only find out the hard way that its nooot so easy out there trying to find a man after a certain age.

      Divorce is such an easy way out for spoiled Western women who don’t want to put in the effort or time deserved to make their marriages work. So they suffer the consequences later as they should. Its should be a lesson to married women to appreciate what you have and work harder with your partners if there are problems in the marriage that can be worked out.

      BUT. Do we really know why all those marriages ended? Maybe the husbands became aloof and stop paying her attention. Possibly abuse verbally or physically. Maybe they cheated on their wives with younger women. Maybe they are never around and she became lonely. There are so many reasons why a woman would divorce. i don’t think its always to take her husband to the bank. I think also a lot of times people who marry young may outgrow the person they loved and knew 15 or 10 years ago. That is why i don’t think marrying tooo too young is wise b/c as you get older and mature you do change as a person.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:14:28

      I know you have a personal stake at this. In your middle 30s, you didn’t hit the wall yet, but you have to hurry up. Don’t lie to yourself, spinsterhood is not fun.

      http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/a-post-marital-spinsters-rationalization-hamster-in-the-final-stages-of-exhaustion/ (except in this article)

      In many of your last comments on various sites, you seem angry and resentful, and you want to engage men in their field, and become a cougar just for the sake of a challenge. You’re better than that. You don’t only have sexual needs, don’t even start to think like that. You crave for emotional bonding with a man you love, that’s how you are hardwired, don’t fight it.

      I know and you’re right. i do want emotional bonding with a man. I do say that stuff about only using men for sex when i get upset although I don’t fully mean it. LOL I just get mad and want to defend myself and other aging women in some ways. I am not saying that being single and only having sex with men is ideal in any way. In fact its against everything I believe in. But I do at a certain point have to prepare myself for the worse in case it doesn’t happen.

      The fact is the guys I meet or who approach me are not marriage or LTR minded men. What am I supposed to do?? I can’t force a man to settle down with me. I am hoping for the best but expecting the worse and I will accept the worse if that is what its supposed to be.

      Also I do think that after a certain point a woman does eventually adapt to her singlehood and accepts it for what it is. Thus, she seeks out other ways to fulfill the gap/void of not having anyone in her life by pursuing hobbies, interests, traveling or being around loved ones.

      I just don’t understand the whole kicking aging women while they are already down thing. Its terrible and uncalled for.

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      • Mindful
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 19:24:54

        I can’t believe it is that hard to find a man if that is what you want. All you need is one, right?

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        • Neecy
          Sep 08, 2011 @ 19:48:36

          No its not hard to find a man at all. It is hard to find a man that is not looking to just ONLY have sex within the first hour of knowing you. i’m not just going through this all my g/f’s are as well. YES even the ones still in their 20’s. Somne of us choose to stick it out and wait and others give in and just do it only to later see they have wasted energy on a man who only wanted them for sexual hook ups.

          Males today do NOT have to stick around with ANY woman who is not putting out fairly quickly. It does make it a little hard to snag a decent guy with so many desperate women out here willing to put out in the first hour.

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          • zorro
            Sep 08, 2011 @ 20:05:35

            You want to snag a decent guy? Look for a pair of big green antlers and a shopping bag full of fresh pineapples.

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            • Mindful
              Sep 09, 2011 @ 05:03:38

              It’s never too early for a good laugh. Now I am going to have a vision of Bullwinkle walking around with a sack of pineapples all day long. LOL!

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              • Zorro
                Sep 09, 2011 @ 05:30:40

                One of my pickup tricks is to hang a plastic shopping bag with one pineapple in it from each antler, then act like they’re not even there. The chicks know what I’m all about, but they act like they don’t. I flip the script and they all seduce me! Twelve hours later, I’m getting firehosed in the face with glucose-heavy quantities of vaginal scream-squirts in my nostrils, and the women think I’m George Clooney.

                Life as a moose. You can’t fucking beat it!

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                • Liza207
                  Sep 09, 2011 @ 08:14:59

                  George Clooney, huh. For a year, now, I’ve had a thing for him ( and I have not been interest in him since he was on ER in the 90’s) and I think it was because I saw him on Bill Maher’s Real Time discussing his work in Sudan. He just became the sexist man to me on the planet after watching that.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 09, 2011 @ 09:30:32

              hahahaaaa!! You are crazy Zorro! LOL

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          • Zorro
            Sep 09, 2011 @ 05:35:05

            “Males today do NOT have to stick around with ANY woman who is not putting out fairly quickly.”

            That’s the fun of my game. I never let them put out that quickly. I make them earn the poundcake. That drives them berzerkoid! They crave the moose! They need the moose! I deflect their kisses, and I push them away when they grab for my antlers. The bull moose that refuses to share his genes with chicks who grab for his business is the moose that gets all the girls, because girls hate to lose a chance of riding the alpha moose who refuses to give himself away too easily.

            Moose game.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 09, 2011 @ 10:00:29

              aaaaaaahhhh So you play hard to get? I can see that working. Its such a turn off for a man to be all over a woman acting desperate for sex – UGH!

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          • Emma the Emo
            Sep 12, 2011 @ 15:07:25

            “Males today do NOT have to stick around with ANY woman who is not putting out fairly quickly. It does make it a little hard to snag a decent guy with so many desperate women out here willing to put out in the first hour.”

            Do all men really have so many options? Considering all the talk about betas On Heartiste’s site, shouldn’t there be lots of desperate men (who might actually be decent), as well as desperate women?.. Granted, they aren’t that easy to spot, and they tend to get gropey way too soon, which is killing their chances. So the solution to this problem is not as easy as “go for men who will wait for you to put out, whether they like it or not”, but that’s my first thought. Some would suggest “stop chasing the men who every other woman is chasing”, but it’s more complicated in practice.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 12, 2011 @ 16:14:02

              Emma,

              The problem is with the “Betas” is they don’t approach or ask most women out. So what you have are guys who typically are more aggressive or comfortable in asking out women and seeking immediate gratification b/c they can – and if they don’t they move on.

              Hopefully game will encourage more traditional Beta/nice guys to do the asking and approaching. Ultimatley, this will balance things out. I cannot tell you how many times the nice guy will often stare and look at you but will never work up the courage to come over and start talking to you. I have done all the right subtle things a female can and should do to let a man know “its ok to come and talk with me” and they don’t. OR if they do, they simply talk about everything under the sun but never make that move to the next step in either asking for the phone number or something to that effect.

              And b/c I am traditional, I simply feel that a man should do the asking out not the woman. A lot of women today encourage women to ask out guys or make the first move if the guy isn’t and I don’t personally subscribe to that. If a man doesn’t have enough courage to go after a woman he wants, then what other areas in his life will he have problems with when it comes to going after what he wants?

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              • Emma the Emo
                Sep 13, 2011 @ 05:45:29

                Ah, that might also be a problem. But I also think that starting to touch you without any verbal or non-verbal permission can be a beta trait, because they get friend zoned a lot. So they want to skip that stage of getting to know each other, and thus escape the friend zone. So they try to be more sexually aggressive, because it’s more “alpha”, and that scares off women who might like them otherwise. When a guy does this to me, I keep thinking he might either be a potential rapist or a creepy alpha, but what comes last to mind is that he might just be a desperate beta, awkwardly copying “attractive” behavior. Not sure how common this is (I’d have to get inside these guys’ heads to know for sure), but sometimes you can feel if behind a guy’s sexually aggressive behavior lies desperation. If I only knew the guy wanted both sex and a relationship, and wasn’t gonna hurt me, this behavior might actually be kinda cute, but that’s just me.

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              • Emma the Emo
                Sep 13, 2011 @ 06:07:05

                As for men asking out women… It’s always nice when a man does this, but I can’t say that if he’s bad at asking out and courting, he is necessarily a loser in other areas in life. My granpa, a ship captain, inventor, owner of many medals, survivor of everything you can think of, was very bad at asking out women, and got them frequently stolen from him by his “friend”. However he mustered up some courage to get my granma. They were supposed to live together on a ship (he wasn’t a captain yet) and he moved to the cabin she lived in, without asking. So he still did something, although you can’t call it “asking her out”.

                Also, I wonder why this can’t be applied to women as well. That if we don’t go for men we want, we’d have trouble with other areas of life. Not trying to start an argument, just really curious about the reason for that.

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              • Marellus
                Sep 13, 2011 @ 06:32:13

                Not over this or that Neecy, but write more on this please i.e the men that don’t approach even after you’ve given them “signals”. Tell me, and whole lot of other men, what these “signals” are. Because we really tend to miss them.

                Some real life situations from you as well as your friends would be nice. And can you expound a bit more on those delightful gentlemen that do approach, but appears to be overly dominant. A formal blog post would be nice.

                And I promise that if you do this, I’ll go and sit in front of the television with a sock and lots of KY Jelly, staring ecstatically at Michelle Obama 😀

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                • Zorro
                  Sep 13, 2011 @ 11:15:03

                  Marellus: I, too, had the worst time with female body language. Then I bought several books on the subject, and the most helpful was The Flirting Bible by Fran Greene.

                  I really really really recommend it. It covers everything.

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                  • Marellus
                    Sep 13, 2011 @ 11:35:50

                    Zorro, the problem is that such materials are prohibitively expensive here in SA. And then there is the question of availability. Sometimes I wish I was back in the UK again. But thanks for your help. I’ll see if I can find a site with a comprehensive list of Approach Indicators (AI) and/or Indicators of Interest (IOI’S).

                    But in the meantime if Neecy et al can write more on their experiences with the nice guys that don’t approach even after “signals” , would be interesting. One can learn from their mistakes. This is a shortcut to memorizing a lot of openers and other canned material to start a conversation with a woman.

                    This is a shortcut on Game.

                    I’m at that stage in my life where I don’t want to learn that bloody “horse opener” on Roissy’s blog.

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  5. Anonymous
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 07:40:49

    Plus, Neecy, you’re trying to win an argument with guys who have been burned, rejected, ignored because they thought that constraining their male impulses was the right thing to do. Their masculine pride has been hurt, so they chose to put down women, or to adopt a player’s lifestyle if they can.
    Their arguments make perfect sense, and yours do as well, but these guys are not ready to make concessions. There are plenty of other men out there who aren’t even aware of the existence of the pua/manosphere.
    I don’t know you personally, but from your writings, you appear quite feminine. Don’t jeopardize that along with your future well being, by making bad decisions because you are contaminated by the anger of other people.
    The knowledge on Heartiste and other blogs can help men spread their seed and expand their sexual conquests. But for women, the only right purpose if you want to use that knowledge is to snag a valuable mate. If you contemplate spinsterhood or the cougar lifestyle, it means that you did not grasp the gems of wisdom buried in the mud of anger.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:52:48

      Anon,

      I understand. In no way do I think that the men on Heartiste do not have some valuable gripes about women. I also believe men have a right to have their own space where they can vent about women or learn new things about how to better their chances at getting what they want with the opposite sex. Yes women can be quite ruthless especially towards good men who tried doing the right thing. I hate feminism for what it has done to men and women and the relationships between the two. I do believe it has set men up for failure by telling them to be good, nice and respectful towards women only for these men to be left out in the cold during the main years that men need female validation and acceptance.

      But men have also contributed to this with their incredible demands on making women feel worthless and useless after a certain age. As I said, its fine for men to be attracted to younger women just like older women find younger men more physically attractive. But once you start pressuring women to feel as though something completely out of their control (aging) is something she should feel shitty for then better believe you are not doing your part as men to maintain good relations between women. And these feminist women are going to continue to fight tooth and nail by creating more articles targeting young women to accept a life without a man and focus solely on her accomplishments. Who do you think these young women will listen to? That is the whole idea with extreme western feminism – to challenge and compete with men. So if men are coming out saying women are useless after 29 then what do you think feminist women are going to do? Back down? NO WAY.

      I’m not saying that women who make bad choices early in life will not and should not pay consequences for their behaviors. ANY person who makes bad choices will. But the problem is I think sometimes these men get so upset they start tossing all women in the same bucket and don’t seem to realize there are still decent quality women out there who do like and want quality and decent males.

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  6. Liza207
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:42:37

    Neecy, where do I start. We talked about this on the phone last week and you writing this post.

    “WTF? Seriously if there was ever a time when one doubted the real emasculation of American men look no further than today. I am convinced a lot of American men need to pack their fkn bags, STFU and GTFO already. Go to Russia, ASIA, the newborn infant section in the hospital, bumfuckland or better”

    —–

    They should consider this option for real. American women for the most part aren’t about spending their youth on one guy anymore and why should they, if they don’t want to? It’s a free country. The double standard allows men to sow their wildoats and still expect to marry chasted women–how hypocritical is that?

    “When it gets to a point where men take great pleasure in competing with women about who can screw more people half their age, or who “looks better” when they age then we have hit an all-time low. Its pathetic.
    Its so effeminate to want to compete with women over silly stuff, just as it is for women who want to compete with men.”

    —–
    There are two things going on here projecting and deflecting. They are projecting their fears about getting older and aging on to women, so they don’t have to deal with it. I have a great example of this and it came at a perfect time to prove this theory. At the gym, I belong to there is a personal trainer who is about two decades older than I am who has been hitting on me a date for almost 4 years. As always, he is fawning and complimenting me about how great I look and on and on and on. So, he says to me you appear to be a woman who possesses high levels of estrogen (what?!) and then goes on to say that as I get older my estrogen levels will decline-–giving me a more male like appearance (hair loss, facial hair, etc). So, I said, “I know especially after menopause and did you also know that men as they get older their testosterone levels drop and that they start taking on a more feminine appearance.” And, do you know what his response was? That cannot be correct; I will have to look it up somewhere. I said to myself, really. He was either an idiot or this was a perfect example of what I have always suspected about men. They focus on women aging in order to deflect from their own fears of getting older. So sad. True story.

    “I don’t believe most younger people in general are really attracted to people who remind them of their mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers.”


    This is so true, Neecy. I remember being in my twenties and having older dudes (40’s 50’s 60’s and so on) hitting on me. In addition, they would offer me money; trips and jobs because they knew realistically that an attractive twenty-something woman would not have anything to do with them unless they were bringing something else to her table other than themselves. However, since, I was not the mercenary type (Although, I wish I were, at times) I would pass. Or I would try to see if I could get what they were offering me without actually having to do anything but just the thought of them touching me or being sexual towards me in any way just made me cringe and feel nauseous.

    I also have to admit that older men still make me cringe somewhat.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 09:13:29

      Liza,

      You are right – projecting and deflecting is what is really the root of this. You should read the post and comments on Roosh’s site from the article Naomi Wolfe wrote. They are HORRIBLE and MEAN SPIRITED! WHy on earth would a woman who simply wrote an article about accepting the aging process and embracing it would receive such venom. That is what triggered this post. I had not planned on writing about the age thing as we spoke about last week. But i was so upset last night after reading the responses to Naomi WOlfe’s piece I couldn’t hold it in. LOL

      I really believe this venom towards women their same age is really an indirect way of having to deal with their aging as men. So they focus on women in their youth, put them on a pedestal while at the same time degrading older women. They act is if its surprising that they view younger women more physically attractive. That is why I made the comments about youth. DUH! I don’t think there is an older person that would not admit to saying younger people (yes this includes men) are more attractive. That doesn’t mean they want to take up with them or date them or have to sleep with one. But when it gets to a point of bashing people your age then something is terribly wrong.

      If you like younger women then like younger women and stop all the taunting and compeittion with older women about who can screw more younger people.

      What does it remind you of LIZA? Black men who taunt and tease Black women about their inability to date out of the race as much as they can and do. “I can date more White people than you can”.

      I don’t particulary hold strong preferences for age in mates. I would prefer however to be with someone around my own age just b/c I feel we’d have more in common. The problem with a lot of older guys I meet is their outright obsession with youth. Its a turn off to me. I don’t want to be with someone comnstantly struggling with their aging process and thus feels the need to act as if women in their own age range don’t exist. But I am not opposed to dating older men or younger men who have dated the gamut of women in various ages (including thier own age range). As long as they are not ridiculously out of my age range. I am open to finding love with a decent quality man I am attracted to. And i feel everyone has a right to like what they like. But to degrade others who do not fit in your profile of attractiveness is really immature and unfair.

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  7. Liza207
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 08:57:43

    “And if ANYONE tries telling me that younger women are more physically attracted to older men b/c older men look better than the men their age, they are LIARS!”


    Yep. Pure fantasy.

    “Younger women are attracted to older men’s MONEY AND RESOURCES – women are more socialized to put up with older, uglier or disgusting if she can manage to enjoy the materialistic things he can offer her in exchange for his oldness and lack of youth.”


    Yep. Young hot women aren’t going to waste their time on some old broke dude. Why would she? Most of the reason she would give them the time of day is because he can elevate in her station of life. What’s love and attraction got to do with it? Nothing.

    “You have these men out here who feel its just fine and dandy to walk around trying to hold onto every little nook and cranny of youth that has surpassed them and everyone thinks its okay.”

    Sad to behold in both genders and funny too.

    “The focus on women who they have no interest in whatsoever is plain pathetic.”

    —-
    They need them to project on, that’s all.

    “If men were really concerned about setting younger women in their prime up for success later in life, you’d create forums, outlets and articles targeting them and not using past prime women as the punching bags. You’d do what you need to do as men to make yourselves more attractive as husbands and fathers to women half your age and wouldn’t use an outside easy target as a punching bag to do it.”

    —-

    Exactly. But it’s B.S., they are just scapegoating older women and beating them down to feel better about themselves. Why aren’t they spending their energy competing with younger men to get the affections of the young women they desire, if that’s what they are actually doing?

    “Just b/c you view younger women attractive doesn’t make you entitled to them – and damn sure doesn’t make you entitled to put down older women or women your age in the process. If a severely obese woman is attracted to and only gets hot and wet for a hot tall muscular alpha stud, does that make her ENTITLED to him?
    And does she have a right to put down men who are just as fat and ugly as she is b/c she hates fat obese men who look like her? NO! SO why do you do it to older women in your age group?”
    —-
    Excellent point.

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  8. Zorro
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 12:47:50

    I just spent a while at Roosh’s to get the background on your above post, and something occurred to me. If you look at the venom principally constituting the comments section, you will see that it mirrors numerous stimulus-response social exchanges (rock star to fans, or aspiring politician to constituency, or Oprah to audience). And I’m not in any way defending or condemning either Roosh or the posters; I am trying to remain impartial and objective.

    This has nothing whatsoever to do with men or their attitudes about younger/older women; nor women’s about men’s, nor the price of pheasant eggs in Beijing.

    A blogger puts up a post, and that post has a recognizable theme (“Younger women are hot!” or “Men never grow up,” or “teenagers need to stop binge drinking”). All bloggers have fans of their work, and when a post goes up, comments flow in for the same reason people applaud a rock band, or boo and hiss a politician.

    The lion tamer is getting the lions to sit on chairs and roar. That’s all this is.

    Read the comments of many different blogs; political blogs (both left and right wing), women’s issues blogs, men’s issues, sports addict blogs, sex blogs, or fly fishing in Alaska blogs: comments all reflect a type of applause or booing of the post.

    Heartiste and Roosh will have guys like me checking them out and maybe posting, but most of their fans are under 25 I’ll bet. Maybe I’m wrong. So don’t judge men based on what you see there. They’re a bunch of dumb kids who are overreacting to shit they see on the web.

    I’ve seen women’s blogs and comments that would make you embarrassed to call yourself a woman. That’s something you learn when you survive to the age of 50: both men and women have the capacity to be vile, lurid, amoral, unprincipled and just certifiably fucking stupid.

    Here endeth the lesson.

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    • Liza207
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 14:08:12

      Oh yes, those types of post do generate a lot of traffic–people just love to attend hate-fests via the interwebz, where they can’t be seen or confronted face to face. What vile cowards they are.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 18:53:34

      The Moose HATH spoketh the truth!

      Thanks for the breakdown, it does put it in perspective which sometimes I need to be reminded to do. 🙂

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  9. zorro
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 16:53:22

    [Insert demographic group of choice] are more trouble than they’re worth.”

    You realize what kind of people use that phrase? You realize what that statement implicitely means?

    “I will allow no man to bring me down so low as to make me hate him.”

    Do you know who said that?

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    • Liza207
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 17:59:24

      [Insert demographic group of choice] are more trouble than they’re worth.”

      —–
      I hope it was not a phrase used by Nazis.

      “I will allow no man to bring me down so low as to make me hate him.”

      I think Book T Washington or Frederick Douglas.

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      • zorro
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 18:13:39

        George Washington Carver

        …and I screwed up. It’s “drag me down…”

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      • zorro
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 18:15:54

        Actually, it’s not so much a direct quote, but the implicit message is “those people” have a negative social value. If someone is more trouble than they’re worth, it means we’re all better off if they were gone.

        So, in a way, yeah: Nazis, the Klan, Skinheads, any group that targets another group for removal.

        Let’s please not go there on this blog.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 08, 2011 @ 18:55:14

          Oh God no. Its all love here at the NEST. i love all my peeps!

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        • Liza207
          Sep 08, 2011 @ 18:59:46

          Actually, it’s not so much a direct quote, but the implicit message is “those people” have a negative social value. If someone is more trouble than they’re worth, it means we’re all better off if they were gone.

          —-
          It wasn’t meant in this vein but I got ya.

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      • zorro
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 18:19:10

        I WAS WRONG!

        It was Booker T Washington. Well played.

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  10. Marellus
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 17:49:36

    Every creed is started by a theorist, embraced by the fanatics, distributed by the cynics, optimized by the dogmatics, and made irrelevant by legislation.

    Look at feminism. Betty Friedan quit feminism because her movement was being usurped by man-hating women. She even mentioned this in one of her books. But there was money to be made from this new creed, so the movement grew. And when it reached all of its goals via legislation it can only react to all of its contradictions by shaming the critics.

    Feminism is reactive today. It has lost the initiative. So feminism will ultimately fail. Just like communism.

    And this is what is happening to the Manosphere/PUA :

    It was started by some great theorists. But the fanatics took all of its concepts, and forged it into a blunt weapon. They took a phenomenon and and slapped a REASON onto it. And that REASON will ignite and grow this movement. We haven’t seen anything yet.

    And already some are profiting from it.

    So this creed will go mainstream one day, and face its ultimate ruin in sympathetic legislation.

    History likes to repeat, and the repetitions are full of irony …

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    • Neecy
      Sep 08, 2011 @ 19:06:41

      Marellus,

      So true. I find most movements eventually become cliched and worn once its starts becomming a profit or too many people get their paws on it. There is nothing like a small powerful movement. Anything that is mainstream is doomed to be watered down and eventually removed or taken over and exploited contradicting its original cause.

      Feminism had great momentum and a good intial cause for women. But now its become so extreme, ridiculous, counter-productive and so contradicting of its own purpose I don’t know how anyone can take it seriously anymore.

      I am not sure at how long the PUA community has been around, but I am sure eventually we’ll start seeing all kinds of reality shows on it, books and exploitations. Once more women even become aware of it, it will be interesting to see what happens.

      It’s a shame b/c I do think men and women should both have effective measures in place to be more successful with each other. The relationship market has solely been targeted to women. but now that more men are finally seeking the same interests in learning the basic ways to be successful, it will be an even bigger money making machine now men are involved.

      And you are right. History does repeat itself. I wonder if relationships between women and men today are at the brinking point due to this idea that its going to get worse before it gets better. i think eventually we will revert back to old school ways of dating and courting (which seemed ot be mroe effective for both genders). But first we’re going to have to hit rock bottom before we start improving in the relationship dept.

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  11. Neecy
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 19:13:22

    @ LIZA,

    LOL the original reponse tree is so skinny I couldn;t respond. Don’t know what the heck that’s all about. LOL

    I hear you. Both men and women do get frustrated and annoyed with each other from time to time. I have my moments when I want to give up and then I snap back to reality and realize you cannot give up on anyone b/c there are a billion men and women on earth. That’s natural and normal to feel frsutrated at the opposite sex at times.

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  12. Matt
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 19:47:08

    Neecy,

    It’s not that men age better. Humans age the same, regardless of sex. The difference is between what men and women are supposed to find attractive in comparison to how each sex ages.

    Women, traditionally speaking, desire unseen qualities. To be very crass, money and power. To be a bit more charitable, intelligence, humour, wits, etc. As men get older (assuming we’re talking about a good man), these qualities improve. He gets more money. He gets more power in his field. He works on himself and develops a better sense of humour, becomes more well-read and worldly, etc. So, he becomes more attractive to the younger women. His looks degrade but he can (somewhat) compensate for it through other means.

    Men desire looks and beauty. As women age past about 25, this NEVER gets better. Women that fight this through plastic surgery, oils, tonics, lotions, etc. become very pitiable because they are fighting a battle that they can not win. As the years add up, more weight will be gained, the chest and butt will sag, etc. Unfortunately, since men like beauty above almost everything else, women can’t compensate for the degradation of their looks as easily as men can. We don’t care about material accomplishments, money, wealth, etc. If the looks aren’t there, it takes a very special woman to make up for it on the first date. As my mother always used to say, the looks go, the brains don’t. So, men will always look at younger women before older women.

    Let me be the first to say that this is NOT fair. It simply is.

    That being said, (some) men do mature. Eventually we do realize that you can’t base a lasting relationship on sex alone. This is predicated on whether the man wants to settle down or just sleep with women all his life. I don’t know if you have spoken to a girl in her early twenties, but I find it to be very close to hell on earth. I can’t do it. They have nothing to talk about of any worth. They are extremely boring.

    The problem is threefold. The first problem is the constant bombardment of marketing showing young women who look like they’re about to take a bath. After awhile, people believe that those are the only women that are worth talking to.

    The second problem is that women have collectively objectified themselves. Thanks to select groups (ie. Feminism, marketers, etc), women have become the very sex objects they claim to hate. As you’ve mentioned before, the vast majority of men are dating simply to get laid. But, since women now have sex on the first date, there is NO incentive to many men to start a relationship that will last. We want sex and we can now get it without commitment. After awhile, women stop being people and start being sex objects. The irony of this is that when a man has to make a commitment BEFORE he gets sex, he treats the lady like a person. But with an object? If the object doesn’t meet the wanted criteria, then that object is only deserving of scorn and gets tossed away.

    The last problem is simple. Remember the description of the “Nice Guy” I wrote before? The men you’re writing about here are those “Nice Guys”. Older women (over the age of 30) are the ones that have been shaming them for THEIR ENTIRE LIVES! That’s going to leave irrational baggage. When I said they were hostile to women, I meant it. They don’t see a woman in her thirties. They see EVERY woman that ever made them feel like they weren’t worth it. So, they lash out at them, then go back to the younger, safer set.

    It isn’t right. It’s very disgusting. Women that want a relationship should be pissed by the current way they’re treated. But, I’m not sure what to suggest to those in this situation.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 09:38:38

      Maaaaaaatttt!!! Hi! Where ya been?

      You bring up some good and valid points.

      I do agree that women do play along with the sexual objectification (is that a word? lol) of themselves but honestly they do it mostly to attract men. Society today is simply very overtly sexual (listen to the lyrics in most popular songs) so its not surprising to me that women are objectifying themselves to be seen as worthy and attractive. Even decent quality women fall in the trap b/c if we don’t we get left out in the cold and dust. Its like a catch 22 as a woman these days. If you are a “good girl” you better not look the part too much or you are seen as a prude, asexual etc. So it’s a mixed bags of tricks that women have to consciously play around with to find the right dial to fit her personality yet still be attractive to men in general.

      The last date I went on I met the guy at the gym. He is an established guy, attractive etc. So we were not even 2 hours into the date before he drops the “I am sexually attracted to you bomb”. And its just like – is this how easy it is for men these days that they have no issues or shame whatsoever talking about sex or sexual attraction two hours into a date? This is what women of ALL ages are up against today no matter how they carry themselves. My 20 something year old friends experience the same thing. So I just don’t know anymore what to expect.

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  13. Liza207
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 07:58:17

    Hi Matt!

    It has been a while. I was trying to void the racial difference but here it is. It seems that WM more than any other group of men attend to focus a lot on a woman’s youth. I am going to assume that you a WM, Matt. I have mingled with WM a quite a bit in my life, and I have and had WW girlfriends and acquaintances, who have lamented to me about how they are harshly judged by WM when it comes to their age and looks. Most of them said that WM are far too superficial and this puts an extreme amount of pressure on them (i.e., plastic surgery, constant dieting and so on). Neecy, was very taken aback by this because she did not realize that it was that bad and I told her, I already knew this. Some of these women have decided to cave into the pressure by attempting to maintain their youthful appearance as best as they can through any means or decided to pursue younger men or just date men from other races.

    Matt, I get what you are saying in your post and I do believe that most men by nature prefer youth and clear signs of youth in women but I find men from other races to be more forgiving. I can say many things about BM but they are not as hard on BW (and that could be because we age slower—you know the whole melanin thing –I do not know) or women in general as they age. Their “thing” seems to be obsessing over the Becky’s, Beyonce’s and Halle Berry’s of the world but age is not their main focus. I also find that men from other races (Asians and Hispanics) tend to be more forgiving of their female counterparts aging as well.

    There is one thing I know about men and that is, they like what they like, period. In addition, they will not change no matter how much women complain about how unfair it is that they are not desirable to most men.

    I’m not mad at you but why is the age of a woman the WM “thing”?

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    • Neecy
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 08:23:29

      Liza,

      This is a great point you brought up. You are right I was very taken aback by this obsession with younger women and tossing aside of women after a certain age. Since you generally date White men exclusivley you would have experienced this more than myself b/c I date across the color lines. I always knew White women were obsessed with going under the knife and getting plastic surgery but now I am starting to see why – they have a great amount of pressure on them to stay looking young b/c White men seem to toss the worth and value of women aside after a certain age (their 20’s).

      And you are right, I have only for the most part seen and hear of White men doing this in great numbers. This is not to say men in general no matter their race, don’t like young looking women. But most ethnic men don’t pressure their women to feel that they have to still look like they are in their teens or 20’s to be attractive and worthy of sexual attention.

      But you are right. Black men are guilty of a lot of things, but being ageists and weightists is not one of them. Black and Latino men seem to be very forgiving of a woman’s age and rarely ever put pressure on their women to feel that they are old damaged goods after their 20’s. Also most Black and Latino men see no problems with dating women their ages. I remember recently I was talking with my dad about some things. And we got to a point in the convo where he flat out said I was still “YOUNG” and that I will find a nice guy etc. I am getting close to my late 30’s and my father said this to me. In his mind as a Black male he still thinks mid to late 30’s is YOUNG. And so do quite a bit of the Black people I know.

      I also look at the woman my father is dating and she is his age and he is quite happy. He is 60 (although he looks early 50’s). And my dad is no schlub of any sort. In great physical shape, great skin, hair etc. He made a comment that “you can tell she was really hot when she was younger” but obviously he keeps it in perspective and likes the attractiveness of her at 60. And she is a very attractive woman. So this definitely comes off as a White male issue.

      And I COMPLETELY understand now why White women are most likely to start going under the knife very early – the pressure from their men to stay young looking. It does seem White men in general are obsessed with youth beyond the point of it being natural. Like I said, most men of any race love and like young LOOKING women. But it seems White men take it to a whole other level.

      I’m not saying this to put White men down, but I am curious as to why they are typically more obsessed with pressuring their women to feel like they are worthless after teens and 20’s.

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      • Liza207
        Sep 09, 2011 @ 09:36:41

        Neecy,

        Yes, white women are under tremendous pressure to look young and be thin. And I have heard it firsthand from them. It is really bad for them when it come to this issue.

        My father also looks great for his age (62 but looks 40 something) and his been married to the same woman for many years and he loves and adores her.

        I still get hit by old white guys who probably think I’m twenty-something but I don’t even bother engaging them. Although, they are more confident when approaching than the young white guys. I am just not interested in a guy twenty or thirty years older no matter what his race is.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 09, 2011 @ 09:47:15

          I agree Liza. You are not alone. Most women and people in general prefer to be with people close or around their own age. Its just a fact. i am even sure statistics on marriage and co habitation prove this. Its more of the exception than rule of very large age gap couplings. It doesn’t make sense to me why people would want to be in sexual intimate relaitonships with a partner that is the same age to their parents or grandparents?? – but that’s my personal view on it.

          Its now clear to me as to why WHite women obsess and feel so much pressure to stay young lookng and thin. While it seems they have everything, they have a bigger issue to worry with – youth and being cast aside and deemed invaluable by their race of men once they bypass it.

          Its not a woman’s problem that she ages, it’s a man who uses this against her that is the problem. Aging is a NATURAL process for everyone. Anytime a gender takes a natural uncontrollable thing and uses that against the opposite gender to determine their worth and value then something is wrong.

          If God intended for old men and young women to be together and live happily ever after, then nature would have found a way for women beyond the ages of 29 to drop dead and for young men to not exist either. One thing I never hear anyone talk about is, if most young women ran off with men much much older, then who would the guys their ages screw, date, and have relationships with? Do you think we would hear and see major push back from the parents of young men and young men themselves if they could not manage to get dates or girlfriends their own age because old men were dating, marrying these girls? OF COURSE!

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          • Liza207
            Sep 09, 2011 @ 09:50:41

            If God intended for old men and young women to be together and live happily ever after, then nature would have found a way for women beyond the ages of 29 to drop dead.

            Execellent point.

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    • Matt
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 09:39:23

      Hi Liza,

      I think (and this is really a guess on my part) that white men are harder on women because they are, in general, much less mature than other races. White men, in general, have it better than other races, so they don’t have to mature. Men do have a natural desire for youth/beauty, but that tends to fade as they mature and are taught (in a perfect world by women) how to value other traits (intelligence, loyalty, maturity, etc). White men generally don’t have to do this. It’s rare the white man that has had to worry about poverty, violence, and the myriad of other social problems that other races encounter more frequently. When somebody has real, actual problems to worry about, the ascetics of their mate don’t mean much.

      Look at how other races are brought up and compare it to how most white men are brought up. Asian and Indian men are known for respecting their elders. They revere the previous generation. Given that the older generation won’t be in their primes, this learned respect has the side effect of making those men look past the superficial. Black men have some very tough social problems to live through while they’re growing up. Those experiences make looks not matter as much as the problems that they have to deal with.

      White men, by contrast, don’t have as many social problems to deal with. They get to grow up with (usually) enough food, a place to sleep and enough material toys that they can gorge themselves on pleasure. But, they also have very little parental oversight anymore. So, they raise themselves. Valuing other people without expecting anything in return is learned behaviour that white men are seldom taught anymore. White men expect to get what they want if they are nice. But, if they don’t want anything from a person, they don’t act nice to that person. To them, there is no point.

      As an aside, there are serious problems right now with white people. The men are vicious and do as little as possible while devoting all their time to getting laid. The women are toxic individuals who are unfit for any kind of real, lasting relationship. You say that your white friends lament how nasty white men treat them. I have white, male friends that lament how abusive their white girlfriends are, but sing praises to how well hispanic women, black women, asian women, etc. treat them. Unfortunately, this problem cuts both ways and neither sex is getting what they actually want.

      You are correct. I am a white male. Your post didn’t read like it was mad at me. Personally, I can’t fathom dating women that young. I’m thirty and my cutoff age is about twenty-six. Any younger and the women are simply boring. Sex in a relationship will eventually slow down and stop, so there has to be something else to base the relationship on. Men and women that don’t understand this are not worth dating.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 09, 2011 @ 10:12:30

        Matt,

        Thanks for not getting upset and being level-headed about this. I know it may seem we are coming down on White men, but we are just making HONEST observations and curious as to why it seems this way. No group or race of males is perfect. And all men are visual. Black men harshly judge Black women by their skin shades, hair texture. This is obviously not something that Black women can control either just like white women cannot control aging. The darker a Black woman she is deemed unworthy and less valuable and less feminine than a light skinned Black or mixed woman or in some cases these days a woman that is not even Black. Its not true that darker women are less feminine, but that is how dark skinned Black women are treated and made to feel by Black men especially – even Black men with thier same skin coloring and hair textures.

        Men in general place great pressures on women – and sometimes with things that are out of the woman’s control.

        So I say that to say – every race in America is having relationship problems with their respective genders. And White men granted may still be out to get laid, but you are still as men general more likely to marry and start stable families with your women. Black men – forget it. They don’t marry anymore and just want to sleep around with as many women as possible. I know for a fact they have White men beat in this area.

        On the flip side. White women are generally very spoiled and can be ungrateful and take a lot of the good things they have for granted –including Good men. And Black women haven’t learned how to tone down masculine behavior to work with the men in their lives.
        There is enough blame to pass around to all genders in this. Its just sad all around what is happening between men and women OF ALL RACES.

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        • Zorro
          Sep 09, 2011 @ 13:03:04

          “White women are generally very spoiled and can be ungrateful and take a lot of the good things they have for granted –including Good men.”

          THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!!!!!

          Sweet Mother of Christ, I always thought I was the only person alive who knew this!

          White women, especially (and I don’t wish to be racist here) Jewish women, are the most self-absorbed, self-directed and selfish women on the motherfucking planet.

          I have never been especially attracted to black women or latino women, per se, but I have for 25 years been certifiably fucking REPULSED by the behavior of white women.

          Not all of them. Just 94.23%.

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          • Neecy
            Sep 09, 2011 @ 17:44:46

            Yes Zorro so true. I do have to say though that White women can’t help it. I can’t even place even half the blame on them for acting this way. This is how its been for White women FOR EVER and they don’t really know any other way to be. Its like a spoiled child who has never received punishment for their bad ways. Constant reinforcement simply for being the parents child.

            White women are consistently reinforced by the very men they shit on, reinforced from their beauty over others to everything. Can you see why they act like this? Its not their faults – WHITE MALES are the ones who put them on a pedestal – White women didn’t do it to themselves. So they are just being who everyone wanted and allowed them to be. Anytime a white woman starts crying who runs to the rescue? WHITE MEN. Now that its not working out for the very men who created these little spoiled monsters, its a big problem.

            White women will eventually come to terms and start being more appreciative once they start losing a little of the privilege they have had – and that will be in the form of more White men seeking out traditional women of other races/cultures as wives. Once her resources and power players leave, then White women will start straightening up. Until then, they are just being who everyone allows and allowed them to be from day one – spoiled ungrateful brats not really held responsible for much at all in this world.

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            • Liza207
              Sep 09, 2011 @ 19:34:22

              WHITE MALES are the ones who put them on a pedestal – White women didn’t do it to themselves. So they are just being who everyone wanted and allowed them to be. Anytime a white woman starts crying who runs to the rescue? WHITE MEN. Now that its not working out for the very men who created these little spoiled monsters, its a big problem.

              —–

              I’m glad you addressed this because it is the very source of the problem. There really is no other explanation.

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  14. Liza207
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 10:29:57

    Matt,

    I have to admit that in the beginning of your response I thought that you were not a white guy it was not until you stated that in the last paragraph that knew you were. LOL! Thanks for answering so honestly.

    You really broke that down well for me because I would not have had the nerve to ask any of the white men I have gone out with that question. It does make sense socially and economically that white males tend to focus more on the looks of their mate more than any other aspect. I could say they need to change and be less superficial but I know men and they do not give a damn. They like what they like. Nevertheless, I see a lot of resentment on the part of white women because of this issue.

    Matt, you should stop by more often.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 10:41:20

      Liza,

      i agree, but White women also still have it very good and often do sabotage the efforts of good White men. The fact they (White men) need game now is evident that White women have taken the good men who would love them and marry them and stick with them for granted. So in some ways I feel bad for them, but not entirely.

      Also White women who take good White men for granted become very hostile when these good men start dating and moving their resources and time to other races of women. Jezebel did a piece on an article about Interracial dating and Black women and boy oh boy were those White feminists coming up with all kinds of ways to deter Black women from seeking WHite mates. LOL Saying things like “only Black men can understand a Blackwomans hair; Black women prefer and should satick with Black men b/c of racial issues they both can identify with;” yada yada etc. LMAO. WHAT? Yet these women treat their men like crap but don’t want other women have them?

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      • Liza207
        Sep 09, 2011 @ 11:47:28

        Neecy,

        Yes, I know of the Jezebel post and it was very insulting. They are now authorities on who BW should date. Really? However, they are not fooling anyone pretending that they are concerned.

        I don’t feel bad for them entirely but I when they are lamenting I feel a little sympathetic but it’s never been lost on me that they mistreat their men and denigrate women of other races who they see as less than them. They have always been very privileged and though they treat, white men like shit. They are careful to work at eliminating the competition because they know that once white men are gone they take their privilege with them to other women and eventually they will lose their spot at the top of the heap. They are having their cake and eating it too but for how long?

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        • Neecy
          Sep 09, 2011 @ 17:35:22

          They have always been very privileged and though they treat, white men like shit. They are careful to work at eliminating the competition because they know that once white men are gone they take their privilege with them to other women and eventually they will lose their spot at the top of the heap.They are having their cake and eating it too but for how long?

          Its slowly coming to an end as we speak. White men have had it up to their ears with Feminism and the resulting negative effects its had on their masculinity. The chickens are soon coming home to roost. Its going to get ugly. We’ll see what happens in the next decade. Should be interesting.

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    • Matt
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 15:24:19

      Liza,

      In times past, men were raised differently. The reason you had gentlemen back then was that older men taught boys how to be men in the world (working, fighting, professional interaction, etc), However, this was balanced by WOMEN teaching boys how to value things that aren’t visual (ie. youth/beauty over all else). This has been lost as women try to simultaneously become men while forcing men to act like traditional women. The result is that today’s men do not know how to act. So, they become one of the two extremes, either so ridiculously macho that the “pump ‘n’ dump” is actually something to be proud of, or so “beta” that they start to be mistaken for women. White men tend to go beta (works better in an office), while black men become macho (better suited to survival in a rough environment). Men raised outside the western world tend to have a higher chance of being traditional.

      Yes, men do like what they like. That can’t be changed. But it can be tempered into appreciating other things. A twenty year old girl will always turn the head of a sixty year old man, but, if he’s a good man with a good wife, he will appreciate his wife’s connection to him more than a one-time fling with that twenty-something.

      White women are more heavily invested in Feminism than other races are. (There is actually criticism of the Feminist movement by other races that it is white-centric.) Unfortunately, nature is starting to prove that Feminism is flat wrong. Men are not women. Women can not be men. As more and more men start to reject white, feminist women (this is happening now; Google “Marriage Strike” and you’ll see it) in favour of traditional, feminine women from other backgrounds, white women will become more and more racist in the attempt to keep their men. White women know they are privileged and they know WHY they are privileged even if they are loathe to admit it. If men leave them, they know their privilege will evaporate and another group of women will enjoy that privilege instead. I think it was Ghandi that said “First, they ignore you. Then, they laugh at you. Then, they fight you. Then, you win.” We’re moving into stage three. It should be an interesting next few years.

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      • zorro
        Sep 09, 2011 @ 15:42:01

        Absolutely!!!!!

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      • Neecy
        Sep 09, 2011 @ 18:11:01

        Matt,

        As always you seem to grasp the entire bigger picture. The most hate I or other Black women receive is not from feminine sweet nice thin ATTRACTIVE and traditional White women, but rather feminist and FAT and unnattractive White women! They are the worse! and the most hateful and racist White women walking who are threatened by ANY RACE of women who may step on their turf (White men).

        As more and more men start to reject white, feminist women (this is happening now; Google “Marriage Strike” and you’ll see it) in favour of traditional, feminine women from other backgrounds, white women will become more and more racist in the attempt to keep their men.

        Very true. Even at Jezebel, the White women were covertly trying to deter Black women from seeking love with White men based on an article about Black women and interracial relationships. LOL I’m not saying I blame them or that its not natural for them to try to hold onto what they have, but its just funny to see the obvious.

        Another real example of this. I have a very attractive tall slim Black friend who worked with me in Pharmaceuticals. The White doctors and white male reps Looooved her. One particular office she visited there was another White male rep from a different company standing in the hallway finishing up with the dr. So both the doctor and the male rep saw her and invited her into the conversation while talking about how nice she looked etc.

        So the Office manager who is a FAT OBESE UGLY WHite woman comes out barking about how there is too much noise in the hallway and how she needs to go and wait her turn. So the male rep and doc said they had invited her in on the convo etc. The male rep leaves and my friend finishes with the dr. and is about to walk out the back door where the FAT UGLY WHITE WOMAN asks her to come into her office. So she says to my friend (who BTW is dark brown and undeniably Black) “so what is your ethnicity?” My friend replies “Black”. The FAT UGLY WHITE WOMAN responds “REALLY! Since when did Black people start becomming attractive!”.

        I swear to GOD this woman said this and didn’t flinch my friend said.

        That is a prime example of how unnattractive PRIVLEDGED threatened feminist White women act when they sense they are not being placed on the pedestal by White men. She felt no fear whatsoever in saying somehting like this in a professional setting. Why? B/C for the most part whne has a White woman ever been held responsible for any kind of racist words or actions? She was obviously projecting, and wanting to make known her “superiority” by trying to take my beautiful Black friend down a notch after seeing the positive response the attractive WHite male rep and doctor were giving her.

        Its just the beginning. LOL

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  15. Neecy
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 10:34:46

    Matt just an FYI I am not moderating your comments. Stupid wordpress does this with certain IP addy’s for some odd reason. 🙂

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  16. Marellus
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 17:57:26

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 18:29:24

      No…doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is “a stupid thing”; Mixing in a red sock with a load whites is “a stupid thing”; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you’re taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn’t as much a “Stupid thing” as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

      I have officially heard it all. Giving some guy a blow job in the bathroom while your MAN? MAN? BOYFRIEND? BOO BEAR? SCHNOOKUMS? POOTIE? PUMPKIN? sits at the bar thinking you are “taking so long in the bathroom” b/c you are taking a shit?

      Whew! Its a nasty world out there I am telling you!

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  17. Neecy
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 18:13:32

    And Matt thank you for this wonderful quote below! I am sure a lot of Black women who are tired of the anti Black woman sentiments today will appreciate this.

    First, they ignore you. Then, they laugh at you. Then, they fight you. Then, you win.

    SOOO TRUE almost brought tears to my eyes. Black women are now at stages 2 and 3, but we will move into the final stage with our heads high.

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    • Marellus
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 18:50:33

      How do you do that quote thingy that you did above ??? Is there a link ?

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      • Neecy
        Sep 09, 2011 @ 19:28:31

        Use this symbol <

        then type the word “blockquote” in the middle

        then close with same symbol going opposite direction >

        insert what you want to quote.

        When finished put same symbol at end of quote but place a / before the word blockquote

        <

        then /

        then type “blockquote”

        then >

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  18. zorro
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 18:43:42

    Reply

  19. n/a
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 19:32:44

    Ah, Neecy. I am so tempted to bring down my spanking hand. Listen to me. The *revolting* thing about Naomi Wolf is the ease with which she lies. She is a liar. That is what men hate.

    So much of what you read on those comment threads is the *anguish* of men’s disappointment. It seems like anger and cruelty, but it isn’t. Men do not express sadness well. Understand that.

    I told you when you started this blog that most of the men posting on Roissy, etc. were nice guys, normal men. It is true. Learn to read *through* what is merely written; learn to read the feeling obscured by worthless words.

    I say this as man who is a practiced and ruthless seducer. The men you are so upset with are nothing like me. If you realize this your options will expand. There are plenty of men who act like players, like hard men. They are not, they are just disappointed.–

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    • Neecy
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 19:53:50

      Ah, Neecy. I am so tempted to bring down my spanking hand.

      Hmm. haven’t had one of those in a while. Go easy 😉

      Seriously. I couldn’t jump on the feel good bandwagon reading her article as a past prime woman (who would be her target). And the reason I couldn’t was b/c you are right, it really reeks of her trying to sell something she doesn’t really buy deep down herself. It’s a lot easier to save face then just maybe write a complete different article simply telling past prime women to embrace their aging process comfortably. It was a little embarrassing to read for me as a woman past her prime b/c she chose the “save face” route as opposed to laying the reality out on the line and then following up with some better ways past prime women could deal with these issues.

      She is setting past prime women up for disappointment by not really offering the truth in the sense that youth *is* considered more valuable in terms of beauty but maybe counteracting it with how maturity brings other benefits later that may not come with youth. Or something to that effect. I would have rather her offered some real suggestions to past prime women facing this reality as opposed to trying to make it sound “all good”. I agree with the part of her encouraging women to embrace their aging process but the rest of it ahhh I can see how it can be read as her lying about how she really feels.

      I understand that a lot of the guys lashing out have been burned. And I honestly do feel for them. but being cruel isnt going to make them feel any better – at least i don’t think it will. It still doesn’t make it any easier to hear when they start talking cruelly about women past their prime. I guess I have to stop taking it personally b/c I know deep down I never did any good guy wrong.

      If you realize this your options will expand. I’m not exactly sure what you mean can you elaborate?

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      • n/a
        Sep 09, 2011 @ 23:56:41

        I should’ve been more clear. Your options will expand if you realize that the great majority of men are less angry than disappointed, less cruel than crestfallen; understand this simple fact and suddenly you’ll see many more of them as possibilities.

        I’ve said before that you’re not one who should remain single. It would be a real waste. That’s my strong opinion.

        Now, bend over. 😉

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    • zorro
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 21:22:38

      Gotta agree. Wolf is a shameless liar and exploiter of media and circumstance. And what Roosh said about her being a hypocrite is true. Christina Hoff-Somers completely stripped her fraudulence naked in Who Stole Feminism?

      The more you learn about feminist icons, the more feminism is revealed to be a scam and a hoax.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 11, 2011 @ 14:31:59

        The crazy thing is I don’t even know who the feminist icons are. LOL Liza was shocked I didn’t even know who Gloria Steinman was/is.

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  20. zorro
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 21:26:45

    A tad off-topic: On 9/20 there is going to be a debate between Hanna Rosin and Christina Hoff-Somers. Men and boys are in massive decline in the US and Europe. From school grades to the job market, women are doing far better. The premise of the debate is “Men are Finished.” This stems from Rosin’s Atlantic article, “The End of Men.”

    I will tell you right now that the past 50 years of predatory feminism is responsible for the decline of men (affirmative action, Title 8 Diversity hiring, etc.), and men around the globe are getting violently fed up with feminism and it’s putrid poison.

    The feminists are claiming that women are just superior to men and the new economy favors females. This is a preposterous lie, and it is going to end badly for everyone.

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    • Matt
      Sep 10, 2011 @ 22:52:46

      I’m going to go off on a tangent here.

      Hanna Rosin, and anybody else that believes this “End of Men” bullshit, is an idiot. There is a fundamental difference between the way men and women look at the world. The way the world is now favours women BECAUSE MEN BUILT IT THAT WAY.

      The difference between the sexes can be summed up as, “Men create, Women complete”.

      Men opt for careers that involve building, designing and discovery. Hence, we have overwhelmingly male tradesmen (welders, carpenters, auto mechanics, etc), scientists, engineers, etc. Women focus on careers where they have to complete the same task over and over again. Hence, teachers, lawyers, non-researching doctors, human resources, etc.Study any amount of history and you’ll find this is true. Almost every major discovery has been done by a man with a woman (usually his wife) in the background. Choose a field and you’ll find men leading the pack.

      The best general example of this is the “Captain/Executive Officer” idea. A captain is tasked with leading the boat. The XO is tasked with the details of making sure the boat is running. The captain can fill in for the XO if necessary, but since it’s not the captain’s job, it isn’t done as well and the captain is probably miserable while doing it. The reverse is also true. Neither type of work is better or worse than the other. They are two sides of the same coin. Both tasks have to be done and without either one of them, the boat won’t function. Traditionally, this dichotomy has been balanced.

      Their are problems that occur if that balance is disrupted either way. If it favours men, then men start to put their excess creativity into places it shouldn’t go. If all men are fighting one another to create, you get gang wars since each one will try to establish their own domain, over other men if necessary. Or, if men keep trying to bring out something new, nothing ever gets finished. Women, unable to get anything finished, become frustrated with men.

      But, if the balance favours women, then the women will try to “complete” men and the world around them. They will lay down all kinds of rules in order to finish whatever project they’ve been given. They become resistant to new innovations (either in process or material inventions). They will tell men that creativity isn’t needed anymore since everything’s working fine the way it is. Men, stifled of their creativity, simply tune out and leave to find other places to conquer, free of regulatory restrictions.

      But Hanna Rosin doesn’t understand this.Her view is that men and women are two different, biological forms of the same thing; that the human mind is the same whether it’s housed in a male body or a female body. This idea is not only bizarre, but almost requires a willful ignorance of history to believe.

      She honestly believes that because this “new economy” favours women right now, that that’s the way it will always be. She doesn’t understand that men are REQUIRED to keep the economy going. When men leave, the economy stagnates and strangles itself since women do not, traditionally, build anything. Despite amazing efforts on all sides, women do not go into hard sciences (Physics, Mathematics, etc.) or engineering in very large numbers. The usual suspects all have some explanations as to why (ie. “Old Boys Club”), but they are missing Occam’s Razor. The Razor here states “Maybe women simply aren’t interested in it”. Without researchers and engineers to design and innovate, and tradesmen to build, nothing new is created and it must be imported from other places that do these things. How much of what is purchased right now comes from China? Japan? Europe? How much used to come from the US?

      Hanna, and people like her, don’t understand that an economy that is based on service and intellectual property (which is really all the “new economy” is) does not create wealth. It takes research, resource production (mining, drilling for oil, etc) and manufacturing to do that. All of those industries are predominantly male and all of them have been phased out of the West. Her economy is not sustainable.

      That woman has a legendary amount of hubris to state that the “End of Men” is here. Men are necessary for a stable, productive nation because without us, the nation will stagnate and, ultimately, fail. The US has a massive deficit right now and a debt that is closing in on $15 TRILLION dollars. Inflation is getting to the “out of control” level. Unemployment is flirting with 10%. Men were hit hardest in the recession of 2008 because they mostly worked in private industry. Women, predominantly, work in government. If there’s no tax base to collect revenue from, how long can the government keep those people employed? With these kinds of numbers, how long does she figure that the economy will continue to favour women?

      I’m curious how long it would take for the country to fall apart were all men to simply stop doing what they do. Nevermind that every single thing required for this “new economy” (Internet, communications infrastructure, computers, utilities, shipping) was thought up, designed, implemented and maintained by men.

      I hope that Ms. Hoff-Somers absolutely destroys her in that debate. But ultimately, it won’t matter if she does. History will not be kind to Ms. Rosin. The stupidity of her position is mind boggling.

      I’ll try not to rant with long essays anymore.

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      • Zorro
        Sep 11, 2011 @ 02:01:28

        Glad to hear from you, Matt! Rosin damn well knows there will be no End of Men; like Kay Hymowitz (seriously, what’s with Jewish women??), she has successfully tapped into some kind of zeitgeist that enables her to sell books and do the Tour.

        Women flock into Service Industries, and those do jack shit for the trade deficit. You are correct, sir. The so-called “Sheconomy” is doomed to failure and is not sustainable.

        My prediction for the Rosin/Hoff-Sommers debate: Rosin’s team will “win” the debate because the flood of women in the audience will vote that way strictly because the premise of women “running the planet” is their pussy dream. But anyone listening to Hoff-Sommers will know she is right. Say what you like about Christina Hoff-Sommers, but you can’t call her stupid or uninformed. Rosin is a 3rd rate yellow journalist, and Dan Abrams is the author of a clownish book no serious person would find plausible (Man Down). He claims women make better hedge fund managers. Forbes and Money magazines rated the top 100 HF managers in the world: 100% male. Dan Abrams is retarded.

        My two cents.

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      • Marellus
        Sep 11, 2011 @ 07:10:43

        Write some more.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 11, 2011 @ 14:53:24

        Matt you can go off on a tangent anytime in the Nest 🙂

        And you are right. very few women enter into fields that progress society forward in terms of industrialization. Granted there are quite a few women entering into the Engineering ,Computer IT and science, its still not enough to simply believe that women are running or moving towards controlling society. All of the tangible luxuries and conveniences and necessities we enjoy in modern society are things built and created by a MAJORITY of men. PERIOD.

        The fact is it is a man’s world built by men. There is nothing WRONG in identifying and accepting this as a woman. In my feminism post I address that women need to embrace and learn to love the other kinds of strengths and power we possess naturally from men. Its not the same for a reason! God created man and woman to possess different forms of strengths to work together for the common cause of building, creating and maintaining functioning societies. I am secure within myself and strength as a woman knowing that women have a different kind of strength and power and its not in building and creating industrialized societies.

        The fact is there are simply things that men do better and that women do better. Men are better with the more tangible things that keep society progressing, while women are better with more social non tangible creation of things.

        I just don’t understand the need to deny what makes men and women different in terms of strengths. we need to work together and not create separation or competition. The Western feminist women so intent on doing this are going to ruin it for all of us eventually. There is nothing good about gloating about the downsizing of men in society or economy. This whole idea of “the end of men” is not going to fare well for any gender. The same would apply for women. The genders are here to *compliment* each other – not compete. The loss of one means we are all screwed and we should not be celebrating this. SMH

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    • Neecy
      Sep 11, 2011 @ 14:35:51

      I really don’t know why it has to be a US vs. THEM thing? What is these women’s problem? What’s the point? Why are they so out to prove “female superiority”? What purpose does that serve? Women need men and vice versa. Its getting really annoying. I don’t understand why women and men cannot work together.

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  21. Marellus
    Sep 10, 2011 @ 13:38:48

    Any of you Yanks following the Rugby World Cup ? I see the USA is playing Ireland on the 11’th. I do believe that Irish will give a surprising performance.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 11, 2011 @ 14:55:04

      Sorry, I think most of the Yanks are watching American Football right now. LOL

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      • Marellus
        Sep 11, 2011 @ 15:10:25

        Ireland won 22-10. The USA still has games left against Russia ( they might win this ) Italy (another maybe) and Australia (no way in hell). We’ll see what happens.

        My country , South Africa, has 2 easy games left against Namibia and Fiji. There is also a game left against Samoa. Those Samoans can tackle like crazy, and love to run the ball. This one might be an upset.

        Canada is there too. They’ll do well against Japan and Georgia, but they’ll get slaughtered by the French and Nieu Zealanders.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 11, 2011 @ 19:32:17

          The only reason I even attempt to look at soccer is due to the hard body hotties. LOL

          FIJI? Man those are some big boys from those islands. Can’t imagine what it must be like getting hit from one of them.

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  22. Neecy
    Sep 13, 2011 @ 12:48:35

    @ Emma,

    well I don’t think that really nice or good shy guys would even touch a woman he wasn’t sure had interest in him. they are more focused on what things to say to her to get her attention when they do work up a nerve to talk to a girl they like. What I think is that some guys are simply more aggressive or assertive and straight forward. Then there are the overly masculine guys who feel they can do and say anything to a woman no matter what. Mostly though I think that guys who have had success with a certain approach will often continue to use it on most women. So to me, if a guy is talking about sex or being very touchy feely early on, he has had some success doing this with most women. I actually prefer if a guy who is not interested in anything more than sex be upfront about it that way it saves me and him a lot of energy and wasted time.

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  23. Neecy
    Sep 13, 2011 @ 13:06:06

    As for men asking out women… It’s always nice when a man does this, but I can’t say that if he’s bad at asking out and courting, he is necessarily a loser in other areas in life.

    Emma,
    Well maybe that is a bit judgmental for me to say that. But I’m of the opinion that a man will go after what he wants when he really wants it no matter how shy he is. There is usually nothing that will stop a man from trying to get a girl he wants even if he knows the possibility of being faced with rejection. But you are right. Just b/c a guy is shy in approaching women, he may make up for that in other areas of his life where he may be more assertive or aggressive (like in his career, hobbies etc).

    Often Beta guys are usually very successful in their professional lives and other hobbies of interest, but lack that same confidence and drive in the mating arena. And some Alpha type guys may be aggressive with women but when it comes to their professional lives or other areas they lack that same assertiveness and confidence. So yes good point that I didn’t really think of when I wrote that.

    Personally, I just don’t think women should approach guys. I think there are a lot of things women can do to clue a guy in on her interest without being direct about it.

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  24. Neecy
    Sep 13, 2011 @ 13:06:46

    Marellus,

    YES I will write a blog post on that. Thanks for the idea. And please offer any ideas or things you would like to see me talk about b/c sometimes I get writers block. LOL I will write on it this evening!

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  25. Trackback: Your Questions About Dating A Cougar Woman | Cougar Dating Secrets

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