Ladies and gentlemen step right up! Look at this new wonderful bicycle we have here. *Neecy walking around showing off bike like the *MODELS* on Price is Right*
Its called the CYNICAL CYCLE. This bike has all the bells and whistles. Ugly uneven flattened Wheels, hard metal seats with ripped and torn covers with the springs popping out, one speed that goes reaaaally reaaaaallly slow, brakes that don’t work, wonderful assortment of dark dull colors, and most of all, it provides the bumpiest ride to NOWHERE!
Yes, the cynical cycle is not your ordinary bicycle b/c its stagnant and doesn’t move anywhere! But you can drag and pull the bike with you when you want to go out to the park, beach or just throughout your neighborhood. What you will notice once you and your cynical cycle hit the public pavements, are people will be sure to cross the street to get away from you, others will stop, make an unhappy face and go the other way, birds and animals (and even cockroaches who don’t run from anything) will run for shelter. Its great! So please, if you want to turn people, animals (and even cockroaches who don’t run away from anything) and other things away, take a ride on the cynical cycle. You will forever be disappointed! No, really, you will!
Its prrretty darned easy these days to be cynical about a lot of things. One area of life where people tend to either be on one side of the extreme is when it comes to relationships with the opposite gender. I find people are either really optimistic or very cynical.
For the last two-three decades that I can remember, women and men have always had their little slogans towards the opposite sex. However, they usually don’t sound like this:
“ALL MEN ARE WONDERFUL! *thumbs up*”
“GEEZ! *looking around* WHERE ARE ALL THE HORRIBLE MEN AT?!”
“WOMEN WHO MARRY FOR MONEY AND RESOURCES ARE JUST…SUPERB! *thumbs up*”
“THERE ARE SIMPLY NOT ENOUGH BAD WOMEN TO GO AROUND! *angry face* DARN IT!”
If by chance you are one of those billions of people who actually believe the above slogans, PLEASE leave this thread now! You have already been cleared and ready to go back out into society. No need to taint the untainted or jade the un jaded.
Okay where were we. Oh yeah, so the slogans we NORMALLY hear from men and women usually sound more like:
“ALL MEN ARE DOGS!”
“WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN AT!?”
“ALL WOMEN ARE GOLDIGGERS OUT FOR A MAN’S MONEY!”
“WOMEN AREN’T WORTH THE TROUBLE THAT COMES WITH BEING WITH ONE!”
Did I leave any out?
Where have the latter slogans got men and women? Nowhere really. Instead of taking an honest look at the ways we can improve things, its simply a lot easier to point the finger and walk around giving every person of the opposite gender the side eye or clutching of the pearls move.
IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, THEN DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!
Hmmm. In *some* cases yes. But in other cases, its applicable. If you are not hearing what frustrations people have about you or things you do that may turn people off or keep you from moving ahead then how can you work to improve yourself to become a much more appealing person to others? Of course an individual has to be very discerning of whom is exclaiming these frustrations and if they are even applicable or whether they should be taken with a grain of salt or even acknowledged at all.
If you are on a job and your boss never gives you negative feedback or criticism (constructive of course) or tells you what you need to do to improve and be better would you ever be able to move up in that job? NO. Any boss that is only and always telling you what a good job you are doing, how everything that you do is PERFECT and right, and never offers any valuable constrictive ways for you to improve, is one who is trying to keep you from taking his/her job. Remember Neecy told ya so! 😉
You cannot improve if you don’t even know that there is a problem in the first place. If we don’t know what the opposite sex’s gripes are about us, how can we even begin to determine if (1) they are somewhat true (2) and if we need to use those gripes as a way to improve our appeal to the opposite gender?
Now I understand not every gripe is real and often times are based solely in an individual’s own fabricated frustrations. But like stereotypes, I am sure gripes and exclamations of frustrations at things, places or people can hold *some* truth and may be worth examining.
GENDER ACCOUNTABILITY & RESPONSIBILITY
Each gender should be doing their part to recognize their role in the downfall of relationships. That means that women and men need to look at themselves as a group and ask what changes they need to make on individual levels to be more appealing to the opposite sex and to also get what we need out of relationships. This requires self acknowledgement and a willingness to change the things that we are possibly doing to contribute to the downfall and that are working against us. When one gender or either gender refuses to acknowledge THEIR ROLE in the downfall of relationships, then nothing will ever really be resolved. And as a result – CYNICISM prevails and becomes the standard for viewing the opposite sex and their value in relationships overall.
INSANITY: DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT~ Albert Einstein
Plainly put, if you are finding yourself constantly running into the same kinds of relationships with the same kinds of people then you will get the same results! Often times, water seeks its own level. The root of cynicism is usually an individual’s own bad choices and experiences. The fact is, there are a catrillbillsillion people on planet earth. That means not everyone is the same and we all have different values, morals and ways of doing and seeing. How on earth can it be possible that all men and all women are exactly the same and have the EXACT same motives all of the time? Sure there are basic biological things that make men alike and women alike, but our personalities as individuals are different and should come FIRST in determining whether a person is worth our time or energy – not simply saying “hmph! If it’s a man/woman they can’t be trusted. They are all _______________”.
Now there *are* various types of personalities that have numbers of people who fit into that trait. You have slutty women, sexually promiscuous men; emotionally disturbed women and men with issues; stable & solid women and men with good values, standards and morals; etc. The list goes on…
Basically everyone can pick and choose the “group” they want to continue exploring for relationships and interactions. Often times when people keep seeking the same thing in the opposite sex, its usually some shallow aspect that makes them tick and therefore they ignore all of the other components & important characteristics the person lacks to have a healthy relationship or interaction.
If you look within yourself, ask yourself what it is you truly want, how you plan to do the right things and make the necessary changes to get it, then you will most likely be more aware of who it is you should avoid and who it is you should seek as a partner. The more you do this, the less likely you will be cynical of the opposite sex .
The key to healthy happy relationships is not depending on the opposite sex to do their part the majority of the time, but to KNOW YOURSELF enough to know when a situation or dealing with a certain person is not prime for your goals, sanity or happiness. Its easier said than done, but more people should ATTEMPT this. The fact that today men and women cannot have healthy relationships between each other is enough proof that there is not enough work being done on an individual level to determine what it *really* requires from an individual to find what they want SUCCESSFULLY.
WHEN KEEPING IT
REAL CYNICAL GOES WRONG
What people often believe is that they are protecting themselves by being cynical all the time about the opposite sex. But what they are actually doing is hindering themselves to see the whole of a person as an individual and instead are solely judging them by their gender.
It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. If you look hard enough for something you will ALWAYS find it. If you only see and smell mold when you look at the opposite sex, then you won’t know what fresh looks and smells like. There are many reasons to doubt the opposite sex when we look at society today. Women are off their rockers and so are men. There is nothing wrong with pointing out what it is about men or women that turns off or causes the opposite sex to distrust them. But I find cynical people can never really get to the root of the problem – which is usually THEMSELVES! Also cynical people fail to see that those of the opposite gender who actually have the positive traits the cynical person doesn’t believe exists, will run and move away from the cynical person like the plague. So in essence the cynical person never interacts with the good positive person of the opposite sex b/c they are turning them away without even noticing they are there
It’s like this negative vibe/energy emanates from men and women who are constantly cynical about the opposite sex. No person of quality wants to be with or around someone like this.
Personally, I believe the root of cynicism with the opposite sex really stems from a person’s experiences in which they either didn’t realize they made a bad choice or they knew what they were getting into when they chose to be with or around that person that hurt them – but they still chose to take a *RISK* and the risk didn’t pay off in rewards but rather consequences.
THE CYNICAL CYCLE TO – NOWHERE
If you choose to remain cynical about love and the opposite sex, Neecy is going to save you all the work, drama and effort. Just give up NOW! You will *NEVER* and I mean *NEVER* find happiness in a relationship being cynical about the opposite sex. NEVER. So, if being cynical is what makes you all warm and fuzzy on the insides, then by all means DO YOU, b/c that is who you will be doing every night for the rest of your life!
I found the best way for myself to avoid being cynical about the opposite sex, is patience. They say patience is a virtue. I believe it is b/c people who wait and sacrifice to make sure they find the *right* person to occupy a certain space in their lives, usually don’t have to wallow in cynicism and distrust b/c they avoid persons and situations that would most likely bring it. Therefore, I’m now bobbing for apples fully aware there are some nasty bad apples in the barrel. But there are also good ones, and I will find my good apple or as Zorro would say PINEAPPLE 😉