There are times when being in the middle sucks:
Being the middle child – “It’s always MARSHA! MARSHA! MARSHA!!!” ~ Jan Brady
Being in the middle of a fight – You’re usually the one who comes out with the Black eye
Being stuck in the middle of nowhere – You know Some crazy chainsaw massacre murderer is just seconds away
Being caught in the middle of gang gun crossfire – You were just trying to walk to the bus stop to go toschool/work/church!
Being stuck in the middle seat on the plane between Miss Piggy and the Michellin Tire Man – “ARE WE THERE YET? I CAN’T MOVE! I CAN’T BREATHE!! GET ME OFF THIS THING!!”
Being stuck in the middle of a traffic jam – “I’m having serious road rage and I’m about to bust a cap in somebody’s ass!”
There are times when being in the middle is awesome:
On Rollarcoasters – Let the two idiots on the sides take the face smash if the cables fail and your coaster car smashes into one of the side poles
The middle of a novel or story – Usually this is where the meat and guts of the excitement climaxes
(Speaking of meat, guts, excitement and climaxes) The middle of an orgasm – O.m.g.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.w.w.w.w.w.d.d.d.d.d.d.!.!.!D.o.n.t.m.o.v.e.o.r.t.o.u.c.h.m.e.e.e.e.e!.!.!
The Middle of thanksgiving dinner – The family fighting, drama, and food throwing is in full swing!
The middle of an Oreo cookie – Hello! Everyone *only* wants to lick the creamy filling in the middle! *in my most serious NUNN face throwing holy water upon the audience* – stop it! Stop it right now you filthy minded heathens you!
Annnnnd – DRUM ROLL PLEASE! Being a MAN IN THE MIDDLE!!!
Fellas yes – be a
monkey MAN in the middle for once and learn to love it and see why it’s the most spectacular spot for a man to be in terms of how he appeals to MOST normal, sane, quality women.
We don’t want jerks/assholes with inflated ballsacks nor do we want boring unexciting overly nice guys with no ballsacks! We want a monkey MAN in the middle with properly normal sized ballsacks if you will.
EXTREMES SUCK! BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MAN-O-METER – Spanks!!! 😉
A man that possesses the right *balance* of traits is a man that makes a woman feel she has a true winner. A man who keeps the scales balanced for his woman is a man that keeps his woman on her toes guessing what’s next. A man that has a nice mix of dominant/masculine and nice/charming guy traits. Extremes are so 1980’s already! No one likes a crazed loony that falls too far to the right or left of the MAN-O-METER. Think about extremes in real life. ANYTHING that has an extreme is usually never good is it? Weather, politics, personalities, etc. Extremes are not typically high up on the desirable charts for anything except for a few minority of people who like them.
So, okay fellas. There is an actual benefit to being a man in the middle. No sane woman wants a man on either extremes of the super duper nice boring guy with no cajones who says after everything you ask “yes whatever you want. Your wish is my command master.” We certainly don’t want the overly macho domineering jerk off who walks around like a meathead on steroids with sprinkles of crack mixed in bossing us around and treating us like some tether ball on a rope stuck to a pole waiting to be smacked with the Pimp hand when we swing his way.
The average SANE emotionally stable high functioning woman usually likes middle ground somewhere in her man. Middle ground usually represents the best of two extremes. It represents a high functioning HEALTHY male. A perfect doable/likable/irresistible mix of the two. A nice balance is key to being an almost perfect desirable man.
WHO IS THE MIDDLE MAN?
For starters he has these undeniable qualities in his repertoire~
Masculine, solid, unwavering, compassionate, in control, assertive, yielding, charming, strong, dominant, assertive, fun to be around, sexually aims to please, caring, generous, loving, and committed.
ONE OR THE OTHER? NO THANKS…..
Lately there seems to be this misconception that men fall into one or two categories: Alphas or betas. Assholes or Chumps. Ass getters or Non ass getters. PUA’s idealizing and/or demoralizing men who fit two extremes in terms of how women respond.
One is the boring nice guy and the other is the exciting asshole jerk. Game blogs use this as the foundation to train former nice easy going guys who don’t like swinging from the chandeliers to suddenly skip the middle dial on the man-o-meter straight up to the tip of *unscrupulous asswipe* and to turn into SUPER
MAN ASS to finally be that man that all women (like skanks, prosties, strippers, hoes) drop to their knees for and beg to be ravaged by. “All” women want SUPER MAN ASS b/c women want one or the other in the eyes of most PUA’s who teach game. *rolls eyes* Of course these are the only two men that exists on earth *rolls eyes again* – The boring nice guy and/or the super asshole jerk *rolling eyes again*. There is NOOOOOO other kind of man on earth that women either admire or admonish *rolls eyes* . If you are not a super jerk/asshole women don’t want you, want you dead, and damn sure don’t wanna sleep with you. *rolls eyes*
Seriously. This post is not for guys intent on gaming women being jerks and assholes. If that is what is working for you by all means keep doing what you do. But honestly one has to ask themselves what kinds of women really like this kind of behavior from males on a 24/7 basis? Women with not much working in the brain space.
No decent sane woman who is not partly or wholly damaged wants to be in a relationship of any sort with a jerk or asshole. So I have to ask myself what these PUA artists are talking about when they say JERK/ASSHOLE game. There needs to be more specification of what this entails. b/C when I think of a jerk or asshole I think of a person or a man who is utterly contemptuous and ignorant to other people’s feelings. Has no class, is rude, anti-woman, misogynist, extremely domineering and treats people and women like utter dog poop. A guy that has no feelings, no compassion, nothing but the ability to make a woman feel like utter crap.
The only kinds of women who like men like this are women who hold themselves in contempt. So it makes sense that a man who treats them like this is only par for the course in how she feels about herself anyway. IOW’s she most likely a damaged person of some sorts, definitely insecure and lacking any real ability to feel she deserves halfway decent treatment.
I get it. There are more damaged women out here today than ever before. Volatile relationships where men literally kick and punch them out windows, run them over with cars, set her hair on fire, Eat live babies, commit mass murders are for a woman who is very insecure, damaged and partly (if not completely) DERANGED is “EXCITING” and are “TURN ONS”. Yes, serving up a nice hot whopping pile of shithead on a platter is a total catch to certain women of the world lacking a certain…something. I wonder what that is??? I can’t seem to put my finger on it. Hmmm. Yeah well its not exciting to the average woman with any sensibilities, standards and self-respect – that is the point!
I am not saying women enjoy or want the boring pushover super duper nice guy with no balls either.
Its just I get so irritated when so many halfway decent men are made to feel that being a quality guy who treats women with some kind of respect is totally a waste. Its not. Its just some men have not quite figured out the balance. A nice guy is halfway there. He just needs to dig deep into his inner manhood and really pull it out. I believe this is where game can teach them certain things. But going from Mr. Rogers to Andrew Dice Clay is not the route fellas!!! Remember water seeks its own level and with assholes and jerks comes the female equivalent.
PEACEFUL A PIECE OF WORK
Yeah I said it – wanna make sumfin of it!! Yeah I am a woman. Yeah I am a piece of work. We all are ladies – let’s not deny things. Its no shame for me to admit that yes, we ladies can be quite a bit much to deal with, handle, please and understand. We have weird tickers unlike men. Men are so easily pleased and pacified. All men really really need and want in a woman is one who:
— looks halfway decent and attractive to his standards,
— a woman who acts pleasant most of the time (menstruation cycles are exempt and completely taken into account),
— a woman that fulfills his sexual needs – LADIES THAT IS – including but not limited to:
8====> blow jobs! yeah yeah i know it makes our mouths hurt and we feel we’re gonna come down with lockjaw, but its just.. a must do unfortunately. our moms and grandmoms didn’t have to do it in their days. Ole faithful missionary was quite sufficient – annnnd has unfortuantley left the building these days. Not no mo!
So. Noooooooooo I’m not talking the blue light special blow jobs that happen annually, but in “REASONABLE INTERVALS” ~ (shout out to Matt, Neecy Nest Blog participant for the quote!!!). Don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about girls! You know those blue light special blow job days that fall on- Valentine’s day OR B-days OR New year’s eve – *There’s your blue light special blow job for the year BABE!!* Not. quite. gonna. cut it… sowwy.
REAL SIMPLE right ladies? – Well at least for some of us who realize that is not really asking much if he treats us with a modicum of respect and decency.
But us gals? Oooh boy! We are some complex drama queens who need constant tingle tickers almost daily and sometimes multiple times throughout the day on a BAD day to stay happy. BUT we are individuals and some ladies do come with more ticks that need to be tocked than others. So what am I saying? YES we ladies are hard to please and keep happy on the average. BUT not if a guy has a nice mix of traits to keep us constantly wondering what’s next. If a guy is on one side of the extreme, – i.e. jerk/asshole we always know to expect that and eventually it gets boring and tiring. If a guy is always sweet kind and overly obliging then we also know what to expect and get tired and bored of that. We want a MIX! A nice little MAN REMIX if you will!
What does that mean for guys. Well, simply put unfortunately, women want to be guessing what she’s gonna get from one day to the next. But we know we want those foundational traits to always be the anchor (see list above).
Once you secure the foundational traits, there is so much room to play and to tick her tock. Even if one day you make an oopsy and fall on either extreme of overly asshole to the point she wants to throw hot grits on you while you are in the shower or overly super nice to the point she wants to pull her hair, your hair, the dogs hair out, she’ll pretend it never happened b/c she knows you are a man who is usually right in the middle with a nice balance.
You go too asshole/masculine/domineering and she suddenly feels she is just a puppet in your play with nothing to offer or bring to the table except her vagina. Go too softy/Mr. Rogers/nice guy/boring and she wants to jump of a 1 story building and escape.
So fellas. Mix it up please. Don’t go on either extreme. The best and most happiest men on earth are the ones who have mastered staying in the middle of the MAN-O-METER. They understand that being an extreme pretty much will push most women away after a short period. Extremes may be fun at first but get very quickly tiring, annoying and boring. A man in the middle is never a bore and a woman never wants to be away from him.
If you are not there – do what you have to do to get to the middle. Women will love you for it – at least the sane, non deranged, quality girls 😉 NOW GET ER DONE!