God Help the Real Alpha women of today……

There are 3 women in a room.

Woman 1:

BAD TRAITS: Dressed poorly and ill-fitted, no class, talks loud, rude, obnoxious, very masculine acting, doesn’t seem to take care of herself physically, easily has sex with most men b/c that is the only way she can get male attention,  has no standards, no values, doesn’t care about her femininity, crude, emotionally unstable, violent, egotistical (for all the wrong reasons).

GOOD TRAITS: uuuh, well, uuuuh, hmmmm I’ll get back to you on that one. Thanks

WOMAN 2: 

BAD TRAITS: Insecure, lacking self-confidence/self –worth,  unable to fully embrace her femininity, sexually promiscuous, manipulative, follower,  (possibly) not in optimal physical shape, no style,  extremely introverted or extremely extroverted, can be emotionally unstable, socially inept/awkward, usually negative, overly competitive for male attention (and will do anything to get it or gain favor in a man’s eyes), unsupportive of other women, backbiting, two-faced, overly nurturing to the wrong people, OVERLY generous, doesn’t demand or expect respect or reciprocation.

GOOD TRAITS (although not normally used to her advantage): Usually innately very smart or intelligent but doesn’t use either to her advantage in a positive way and doesn’t know how to balance her intelligence/smarts with her femininity.  Generous,  (too generous) but not in a way that benefits herself or her best interests as a woman or person. Flexible (in more ways than one) and *can* overcome her negative traits if she sees decides to work on changing herself and working on her issues to become a more positive, feminine and happy woman that others want to be around. Friendly (Often times tooo friendly), non-intimidating, forgiving, proficient, yielding, team-player,

 WOMAN 3:

BAD TRAITS: Very  self-centered and self-focused, not very flexible, intimidating,   Extremely discriminatory, unforgiving to those who cross her, somewhat rigid, can be stubborn, full of pride  and usually takes time before she warms up to a person.

GOOD TRAITS: High standards for people she associates and interacts with and allows into her space, solid, flexible when need be, smart/intelligent,  not promiscuous, leader not follower, very feminine, physically in shape and healthy, stylish and well dressed, very attractive/beautiful,  very self-assured, lacks need to be overly competitive with other women for most things,  usually supportive of other women, not desperate for male attention and usually doesn’t have to do much to get it,  high self-worth, very choosy about the men she dates/sleeps with,  not manipulative,  very transparent, often emulated, happy and emotionally well balanced, nurturing to those she loves and those deserving, demands reciprocation in all relationships, sets the standards and goes beyond them in good ways.

KNOCK, KNOCK, WHO’S THERE?!

Can you guess where each of these women falls on the female Alpha, Beta, Omega line? Also can you guess or surmise which of these type of women are winning in the SMP these days? (hint: not woman number 3 for sure).

Ok,   Its pretty obvious where these women fall on the Alpha/Beta/Omega scale, but how many times do people really talk or think about women in terms of these traits and ideals? Of course, none of these traits are set in stone as they are mainly MY, NEECY’s own observations and definitions of what *I* typically believe represent these types. But usually most people would agree on most of these traits being representative of each type of woman.

Often times we hear about the Alpha, Beta, Omega male and the character traits that identify where a man fits in terms of the title. Men are encouraged to develop more traits that fall on the upper side of the Alpha and higher end of the Beta although,  Alphaness in men is considered to be the more desirable trait. More time is spent on encouraging males to pick up some of the more positive traits of the Alpha male. In addition, more time has been spent identifying and defining these traits in MALES than that there’s been of focusing on the female versions of these types.

When it comes to women, not much talk is ever done about how women should model or mold themselves into more or less of these titles. Therefore,  this also means not much talk is ever really done about what truly represents an Alpha, Beta, Omega woman. Although, if you do hear of one it’s usually the Alpha female that is mostly talked about when discussing certain types of women.

I don’t think I have ever heard a woman called a Beta woman or an Omega woman – at least not as often as men are referred to in these terms. But often times we do hear more about “Alpha” women b/c most people are aware that *usually* Alpha women supposedly carry the best most sought after traits that women want and need…or maybe not.

While the Alpha male these days and in the past has come with a positive label, not so much for the Alpha female in general. The problem? Since Western feminism has been on steroids for the last oooh 30 years, on a whole,  the identification, characteristics of a true Alpha female have been mauled, matted, misused, misunderstood to fit the feminist agenda or by those simply confused about femininity and women (and unfortunately a loot of women simply don’t understand what a  true feminine positive woman should look like or be like due to feminism that has stripped most women of their ability to be such).

The fact is, the Alpha woman is NOT the caricature that we often hear about today. Most people when you ask their opinions of Alpha women is that they are:

Masculine acting, A type personalities, ball busters, prudish, hard-core, bossy, runs things and people with an iron-fist, a she-male in a dress,  overbearing, demanding, not easy to get along with, unpleasant and dominant etc.

 IOW’s not a true feminine woman that doesn’t have to do much or ask for much to get what she needs and wants (something a true and real Alpha female experiences).

 I can see why this image of an Alpha female exists. With Western Feminism on steroids, these kinds of women are celebrated and upheld as positive role models for women b/c they are closer to the masculine side of the dial than feminine. And of course with feminism today, its mainly about competing with men and showing men you can do what they do and be who they are.

In addition,  when you have more emasculated men in society, these Alpha women *CAN* and do often have to resort to those most negative extreme characteristics I mentioned b/c men are not stepping up to the plate to help balance her needs for dominance to allow her to be a feminine woman.

For purposes of this post, I am mainly going to focus on the Alpha female b/c I feel she is the female that most women should actually emulate although this type of woman is RARE these days due to the confused roles both men and women have about their genders. Just as the Alpha male has also been somewhat disrupted by false ideals so has his female counterpart.  Below Liza made this great thought on her definition of a true Alpha woman and I want to expand on this. She said in another thread:

A true alpha female is a beautiful woman who is very estrogen driven—highly feminine and has a very high sense of her worth and is very selective when it comes to progeny in which protects vigilantly. She loves being pursued and loves playing hard to get—a man has to prove his worth to her before she will sleep with him—she knows how to use her sexuality to get what she wants from a man without actually giving it up. <strong>However, she will only be submissive with her male counterpart the alpha male in which has become very difficult these days.</strong> Since most alpha male egos have been so overly inflated to the point where they are not even suitable for long-term relationships or marriage anymore due to all the no-strings sex they are getting from lesser women. “

THE ALPHA MALE HAS CHOSEN THE PATH TO LEAST RESISTENCE

I thought this was a great description of what a *REAL* Alpha woman was for so many decades before feminism on steroids took over. If you really look at the above description, it all boils down the reality that most Alpha women of the past were truly traditional feminine women who had men that allowed her to be the feminine woman she is by upholding their end of masculinity.

You still have many traditional women these days, but certainly not enough. As a result, this is forcing some of the more traditional Alpha type females to try and figure out where she stands in the sexual market place today with men. As Liza mentioned, the Alpha male today has also had some *re-designing* to fit more of a hyper-masculinized version of a man and therefore has been the type of man that most *lesser* women (beta/Omegas) seek for attention, affection and sexual pleasure.

These *lesser* women have morphed the true Alpha men into egotistical over sexed men who measure their Alphaness by the amounts of women LESSER WOMEN he can bed. Of course in a society where most women are encouraged to be and act masculine then you have to even further increase the natural more balanced masculinity in men to extremes so that men can still feel like men. In normal societies where most women embrace their true feminine roles, men are not as encouraged or have the need to have overly extended extreme forms of hyper-masculinity to feel like men.

Basically, the minute the Alpha male starts entertaining the lesser female counterparts (b/c they are much easier to get sex from with very little pursuing and proving his worthiness to her), there will be trouble in paradise for his true Alpha female counterpart who refuses to lower herself as a person to what most Lesser (Beta/Omega) women feel are gains to getting to high status, good looking men –sex.  

This has put real Alpha women in a serious bind b/c now the Alpha male doesn’t seek the woman on his level but rather chooses the path of least resistance in his women. It has always been proven (in my experience) that the least attractive women with LEAST to offer are the main women who will give up sex easily and put up with all kinds of disrespect and negative stuff from the men in their lives, b/c they feel this is the only value they have as women to keep men around and wanting her.

These lesser women, have figured out one thing – that men are easily bedded and that its quite easy these days to get the attention and affections of a high status good looking Alpha/higher Beta type male by appealing to the lowest most easiest way to gain a man’s attention – being, looking, acting slutty, promiscuous, and sexually available with not much cost associated on his part.

An Alpha woman would *NEVER* use her sexuality as the *SOLE*  means for male attention and affection. And, if she does, she uses it a way that represents her most top quality feminine ideals and not the lowest of feminine wiles.  Lesser women, however, do not think of it this way and are often seeking more masculine ways to get what they want from men and to compete with other more feminine women who would require a lot more from men.

THE OUTSOURCING & LOWERING THE BAR OF SEX/MATING TO THOSE WILLING TO ACCEPT LESS BY GIVING MORE

And this is the problem. There was a time when like dated/mated/married like. In those times couples and people were much happier, had more quality relationships and stayed together much longer as a result. People were much more stable b/c they were not with others much higher or lower than themselves in the SMP and in terms of values. Nowadays, you see so many people dating/mating with others way out of their leagues physically, emotionally etc., that it has become a free for all SMP for those lesser women and men who want to date UP and not on their level.

In order to do this successfully, the lesser men and women have to make themselves attractive and competitive to higher status men and women by LOWERING THE BAR. As with anything when there is an ample amount of lowering the bar, quality gets tossed aside and it becomes a matter of who can provide the quickest easiest way for a means to an end to the High status beneficiary.

Think about it in terms of how western society has taken a hit in the workforce with companies outsourcing work overseas in third world countries or paying lower wages to immigrants who are more than happy to take what they can get to live and survive.

This pushes the quality workers out of the market b/c they would demand higher wages for their expertise, experience and quality as a worker. As a result, we as Americans have to have business conversations/transactions over the phone with people who we can barely understand and who barely speak English.

The SMP today is no different. Quality has all but been tossed out the window and as a result the lowering of the SMV of women has taken over. If you are not some floosy willing to be apart of a man’s booty buffet or harem, you are most likely not winning in the SMP!

ALPHA FEMALES & BETA MALES LOSE;

HYPERGAMOUS LESSER (BETA/OMEGA) WOMEN & ALPHA MALES WIN!

SO, now you have very high status attractive traditional Alpha females, who are competing for Alpha Males with lesser women (Beta/Omega women). Women, who may not be as physically attractive, as emotionally stable, well put together, and who lack any kinds of substance or sexual standards.  

B/C the real Alpha female refuses to lower her standards as a woman to get male attention, time and affections, as a result she is either left to going at it alone until she finds her Alpha male counterpart (not the over hyper-masculinized version these days IOW’s a rare breed) or these women are left to mating/dating with Beta males who are not her equal and as a result causes relationship friction over the long term. In many cases opposites may attract, but usually don’t stick together for longer quality relationships.

When true Alpha females are left to being with their complete opposite (the Beta Male) issues such as: boredom, infidelity, dissatisfaction arises. As a result, the Alpha female then turns into an emasculating iron fist she-male in a dress b/c she has to due to her Beta man’s inability to step up and be that Alpha male she needs/desires to allow her to fall back into her role as a feminine woman who knows her male counterpart has things under control. Beta males are not usually very dominant or assertive in the relationship arena and this can be very frustrating to an Alpha female.

Also, on the flip side, the Beta male becomes resentful of women, b/c the only women he can get are these “lonely” Alpha women who will eat him alive and constantly be on his case b/c he is not “manning up”.

Instead of the Beta male being able to get the Beta women who are his equal in terms of personality and attractiveness (b/c these women are offering themselves up by any means necessary to the higher status Alpha males) he too, is also stuck in a bind and has to be with a woman way off his level who he will not be happy with.

So it’s a lose-lose for the true Alpha female and Beta male b/c their counterparts are lowering the bar and adjusting to get the easy sex and romance that come with high status men courting and taking up with lower status hypergamous women.

THE BAR FOR FEMALE ATTRACTIVENESS HAS BEEN LOWERED

There was a time when women were only seen attractive if they kept themselves in shape, had a feminine demeanor, thought highly of herself and had a certain amount of chaste (i.e. kept her legs closed until the right man came along). Nowadays? Hmph! A woman doesn’t have to be or do much to be seen as “hawt”, “attractive”.  She can be a slut, out of shape with a boatload of magazine subscriptions ISSUES and she will be considered attractive if she is easy or combs her hair.

Not sure that there are many truly beautiful women left anymore, so I will stick with terms hot and attractive. Now do not get me wrong. I was once a woman who allowed myself to fall on the side of not keeping myself looking attractive after I gained a significant amount of weight. But even then, I was being told how “beautiful” I was and how “any man would be lucky to have me”. YET, I was not in my most optimal physical shape as a woman. So how could this be that people still felt I had what it took to get a man? Oooh, they forgot to mention that it would be a man of lower value/status!! Ok got it!

B/C really that is what it boils down to. I chose no man b/c deep down I knew I would rather be alone than settle for a lower/status or lower value man who would be content with me being out of shape and overweight and unhealthy. I would never feel comfortable as a woman with a higher status man not at my best b/c of the competition.

High value males do NOT want unattractive unhealthy looking or obese women. They pride themselves on being with good looking attractive women. But I *can* attest to the fact that these men *WILL* and often do sleep around with such lower status women. I experienced many *offers* even at my worse physically from attractive males that no one would ever believe would have  spit on me if I were on fire let alone made a sexual offer to.

As a result, women don’t feel they need to do much physically to look their best. We also live in a society where women are encouraged to have the most Unsettling most unattractive non pleasing personalities and traits and will still have men wanting to be with her, marry her and have sex with her.

As a result, the more pleasant, happy women are often left out and considered “UPTIGHT, PRUDISH, BORING” and lose out in the SMP. This is not to say that an attractive shapely woman is still not considered the Cream of the Crop, but the fact is with very little women fitting this profile, this type of woman is off most people’s radars, and therefore demands for women to fit this profile are low. When she does enter into the SMP, she will find she is not JUST competing with her equal female counterparts, but also, lesser women on the attractiveness scale, emotional stability scale, sexual standards scale etc.

When the bar is lowered for women to simply lose all of the wonderful positive traits that comes with being a beautiful feminine woman, you will have very little incentive for women in general to strive for greatness in terms of their physical appearance, health and personalities.

 THE MEASUREMENT FOR MANHOOD HAS BEEN SHORTENED

You fellas didn’t think I was going to let you off the hook now did ya? Yep, just as the bar has been lowered for female attractiveness, the measuring rod for masculinity and manhood in males has also been shortened. IOW’s the wrong types of “men” are given kudos or being “men”.

Truly masculine high status males (rare) are often as well off the radar and therefore a new kind of masculinity has been replacing the original true forms. Overly masculine/macho males who believe the amount of women they can bed, slap around, and disrespect and treat like garbage determines their manhood.

Women  LESSER WOMEN today are rewarding the most unscrupulous of men b/c they have a really warped sense of what a *REAL MAN* is.  Lesser women have lowered the bar for manhood b/c real Alpha women would demand better treatment and more balanced versions of manhood.

“Real men” today are men who are just super aggressive without a cause. Just walking around doing the most extreme things ever that would make him seem more like (but not necessarily) a man. Extreme things like Bedding lots of women, using sex as a measuring stick for his manhood, being overly aggressive, rude, violent, disrespectful. Having nothing really going for himself other than his penis, muscles and ability to talk and act like a PIMP in regular clothes.  

As a result, the real masculine men are often given the titles of “BETA” b/c they choose a more balanced approach to their sexuality and how they interact with women. IMO a lot of “Beta” males are falsely labeled these days as Betas when they are really Alphas. But b/c they lack the need or desire to walk around like some Bravado on steroids looking to sexually slay every woman that comes within his path with open arms LEGS, then somehow that makes him *less* of a man?

 WE’VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO FOLKS

I’m going to end this novel by saying there is much work to be done between men and women and regaining our rightful place back into our desired genders roles. The scales have been off balance for quite some time and I don’t know how long it will be before they become balanced again.  I may not live to see or experience the rewards of things going back to normal but I am still hoping for future generations of quality and traditional and feminine women that things change.

At any rate there will be a lot of Alpha type women going at it alone, a lot of Beta males settling while the lesser beta/omega woman and Alpha males continue to screw up the SMP b/c it’s become so easy for them to demand nothing from the opposite gender that would require QUALITY and/or VALUE.

Ah, such is life!

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159 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Zorro
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 10:57:05

    Who’s There?”

    Whose boots are those? Neecy’s.

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  2. Zorro
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 10:58:34

    I don’t mean to be dismissive, and I will comment on this post shortly after I digest it more fully. It is rather long, but highly relevant.

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  3. Neecy
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 11:13:42

    No prob Zorro. I almost put a disclaimer it was pretty long and may require breaking up in terms of reading. LOL. Its actually one of my longest posts, so I expect people to probably read bits and pieces at a time before commenting 🙂 Thanks for your honesty. i really do try to shorten things, but haven’t quite figured that out yet without leaving out things I feel are important.

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  4. MK
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 11:56:41

    In caveman times the alpha women were the one clubbed and drug back to the cave. The betas only got rocks and they fed the omegas to sabre tooth tigers..

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 03:30:14

      LOL I’m still trying to figure out the whole clubbing upside the head thing and dragging. Those cavemen sure needed to learn a few techniques on gaming women so they wouldnt have to beat and drag them back to their caves.

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  5. Liza207
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 11:59:03

    Yes, Neecy, this is your longest post but also your best. You totally broke it all down–excellent observations.

    I’ll be back later today or tomorrow to comment.

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  6. MK
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 12:03:42

    One insight I have into the whole alpha/beta discussion is I believe many game type sites probably rank alpha qualities wrong. There is a distortion that would place game above things like fame or great wealth and that I believe is very untrue. A lot of this is probably due to the desire to believe qualities they currently possess or have spent a lot of time honing are more valuable then things that are harder to achieve such as fame or wealth.

    I’d probably rank the qualities as:
    – Top level fame
    – Top level wealth
    – Top 5% in looks
    – Advanced level game

    The true alphas like Derek Jeter, Dicaprio, Clooney have all of these factors in abundance which makes them the alpha di tutti alpha

    * note this is the male ranking the female rankings would be quite different.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 03:38:45

      MK ITA. Some men seem to feel that Game alone makes them Alphas or that is all that is needed to be successful with women. There are certain characteristics and traits that the average man may have or can follow to be an Alpha male, but real Alpha males on a grander scale have A LOT going for themsleves in many different areas, and many of whom don’t really need game per se to be successful with women.

      In the real world a man who has other positive attributres like the ones you listed will always come first. This idea that unnattractive men can compete for top notch women with high status good looking men is ridicul0us and misleading. The real only time you may see such pairings is when the male is extremely wealthy.

      I personally feel that most average everyday men would be more successful simply working on improving himself, his social skills and his confidence level. Also, there are many traits that an everyday man can develop to put him much closer to Alpha status. Once he masters all of that, he would probably be very successful with women and in his love life.

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  7. Firepower
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 12:09:42

    neeecy

    God Help the Real Alpha women of today……

    nah they’ll be okay
    as long as they Keep On Keepin’ on Alpha
    with supatight tshirts, poofy hair and big cans.

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  8. Liza207
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 12:28:15

    I’d probably rank the qualities as:
    – Top level fame
    – Top level wealth
    – Top 5% in looks
    – Advanced level game

    The true alphas like Derek Jeter, Dicaprio, Clooney have all of these factors in abundance which makes them the alpha di tutti alpha

    I believe that these are exactly the qualities that define a true alpha male. Some guy who is broke and unattractive behaving like a jerk and an asshole towards women is not an alpha. But there are alphas that may not be as famous as the men mentioned above.

    Alpha males are a very rare breed of man and I have only met one in my life and he did have a little notoriety, wealth, and good looks (like a young Alec Baldwin). They can take a woman’s breath away (then some) just by looking at her.

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    • MK
      Oct 10, 2011 @ 16:49:14

      But that being said most of these type of men will be off the market to most of the women out there because there are so few.

      So the big mystery is why does asshole methods work way more than they should vs. normal behavior. It appears a lot of women are dumb enough to believe that playing the part makes one the part.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 03:51:09

      I agree Liza. In my field there are a lot of young Alpha type males and none of them are jerks (at least they don’t come off as such). in fact, they are quite charming and can make a woman smile often. Women love and enjoy being around them as well. Also, these men both young and old are already married or settled down. Most of them are not running around screwing all kinds of low caliber women.

      Also the pretty young higher caliber Alpha girls in my field would never associate themselves with guys who treated them like garabge or who acted like assholes.

      The fact is, lesser Beta/Omega women have created this idea that jerky and assholish males are desirable. B/C there are more beta type women today than ever before, of course most men will adjust accordingly and act in ways these kinds of women find desirable. Beta females have lowered the bar in the SMP and that is why men today act like jerks and assholes to get sex and female attention from Beta girls who love this kind of behavior. Majority rules unfortunately. So if men today want to have sex with a lot of women, they have to adjust and act the way these kinds of women require them to, to get their affections.

      In the past when Alpha women were the majority, males were more respectful, waited for women if she didn’t want to sleep with him, and courted women the right way.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 11, 2011 @ 07:48:24

        Some alpha males can be jerks and can be very immature. The one I knew is the same age as I am. And, if I were to look him up today I bet any amount of money that he is single and is still banging lesser women. That’s how it is for very good-looking wealthy alpha males these days.

        The men you are describing are probably beta/alpha males (more traditional) who tend to settle down early. Unfortunatley, they are a rare find these days.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 11, 2011 @ 11:24:08

          Yeah, Liza it’s a good thing you didn’t sleep with that guy. I don’t even bother with men like the guy you described. I don’t care how good looking or wealthy they are. i find the more good looking and wealthy the more jerk asshole they *can* be. I can’t even see how some women have the sanity to deal with that. But some women will put up with that for the perks of being with a good looking and/or wealthy guy. I say more power to them if that what they are put up with.

          I have actually seen the way these kinds of men talk to the women they are with and dating and its utterly disgusting. YET, I also find They give the women they aren’t with more respect often times than the women who they are dating or screwing which is very telling. Some women will put up with anything to have a man with money or good looks.

          When I was a waitress, this one guy who was good looking had a lot of money (and always trying to get with us servers even though he came in with different women all the time) would come in to eat with different women and i remember waiting on him and this chick one day. He was on the phone and she said something, and he flat out told her “SHUT UP DON’T YOU SEE I’M TALKING ON THE PHONE!”. Right in front of me too. She just sat there looking stupid and embarressed. I thought to myself “is it really worth it?” LOL And he would also flirt with me or any of the other waitresses waiting on him and a woman while these women were right there. I just don’t get the appeal to those kind of men.

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          • Liza207
            Oct 11, 2011 @ 11:31:59

            The appeal of guys these to women is that they are so so confident and so sure of themselves. But as you get closer you will see that there isn’t any substance there and they (at least for me) lose their appeal the moment they open their mouths.

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            • Neecy
              Oct 11, 2011 @ 11:43:02

              You’re right.

              IMO guys who act like that are not confident at all but rather obviously insecure. That is exactly what turns me off b/c they reek insecurity to me as opposed to confidence and masculinity. But I understand why they act this way too. They have a lot of shallow women jocking them and they know it’s for shallow reasons so they act like asses.

              A man who is not insecure doesn’t mistreat women in his life. These men for some reason feel the only way they can feel powerful over women is by treating them like dirt. But also, i believe these men treat these women like that b/c they know these women are shallow and most likely only with him b/c of his looks and/or money. I say that b/c I notice they don’t treat the women they are not dating or screwing like this. That guy at the restaurant I described was a compleeeete jerk to the women he was with but always very nice and charming and respectful to me and *some* of the other servers there who weren’t always jocking him. However, he was very rude and disrespectful to some of the other servers (who I think he may have screwed or was screwing at the time). That is how I could tell who would take him up on his offers and who didn’t. You can tell by the way he treated certain female servers. This man was very HOT young and had a lot of money, so you know a few of the servers took him up on his offer.

              I find men have a good sense of the women who are only jocking them for shallow reasons and treat them accordingly vs. the women who are not so moved by them they seem to respect and treat much differently.

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  9. Mark Slater
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 14:28:48

    Miss Neecy continues to exceed herself in delving past the surface and analyzing what lies beneath. This is fairly straightforward, say, in a field like geology. When it comes to the inner workings of man and woman, it is far more challenging.

    Alpha Females? My Louisiana-raised Mama had a most fitting term for what you described, a Steel Magnolia [they even made a picture with that title some years back]. Lovely, sweet, and yielding on the outside; but with an inner strength.

    Ladies, if you consider yourself to be a “Steel Magnolia”, or aspire to be one; never be ashamed!

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 03:57:40

      MARK that is one of my favorite movies!!! STEEL MAGNOLIAS!! OMG I looove that movie soo much!

      Its good that you as a man were able to actually see a real Alpha woman (your mom). Not very many young men today have seen or experienced these kinds of women and therefore, don’t know they even exist. Its really unfortunate.

      And as you said, these titles are easily written out in Black and White but when it comes to individuals and people it becomes more complicated. I don’t really believe in defining people by Alpha, Beta Male/female titles, but its a good way to have some more tangible definitions of certain kinds of men and women and the various traits we can have across the board. The fact is I do believe people fall generally into some of these characteristics more than others and it helps kinda guide them as a person on the positive traits they have as well as the negative ones – and can even encourage them to identify what is working for them or not by acting or being a certain way.

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      • zorro
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 16:51:31

        The Lifetime Channel announced it will produce a star-studded, all-black version of Steel Magnolias. I just read it on CNN.

        …although I have a very low opinion of the Lifetime Channel.

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        • zorro
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 18:15:07

          Please ignore that spectacle of an avatar above. That was the price of misspelling my email address.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 18:28:57

          AHAHAHAAAAAAA HAHAHHAAAAA!!!!! *pointing and laughing damn hard at Zorros avatar*

          OMG Zorro your avatar is the funniest shit I have seen yet!! LOL

          Please keep it. its perfect for this month of halloween. It looks like a Halloween pumpkin terrorist!! LMAO!

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  10. n/a
    Oct 10, 2011 @ 20:21:02

    The alpha male is one who is most desired by women, and he has sex when he wants, and with whom he wants; the alpha female is one most desired by men, and she achieves security, status and power through the use of the men who desire her, and that is essentially all men. That’s what “alpha” means in this context if it is to mean anything.

    People are always frustrated by this, because they confuse ought with is.

    Reality and *ought to be* have very little to do with one another. People should always remember this hard fact. No misery is worse than the misery of waking up into the realization that you were self-deluded: that is, you wanted the world to be a certain way, and then you see that you’ve always *known* it wasn’t. A terrible fate.

    We have to accept human nature as it is: ugly, conniving and often joyfully evil — especially in the total ruthlessness of the sexual arena.

    That said, I always enjoy your extravagant posts, Neecy, but then I am a very fast reader.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 04:09:29

      😀 Thx N/A! Also, I’m glad you can speed read b/c i know I’m a wordy lil chika!

      Actually N/A these definitions of Alpha men and women are REAL and the original ways in which Alpha men and women were defined for so many decades before the feminist sexual revolution. So it’s not a figment of my imagination or my own desires of what *ought* to be, b/c I am going by what *WAS* and how the original Alpha male and female images have been so distorted these days.

      The fact is, men and women of the past had much clearer ideas about their gender roles and how they benefitted each other for a common goal. That is why relationships in the past were much stronger and of more quality. Back in the day, when Alpha females were the majority (before feminism) none of these women rewarded the lower caliber males like so many women do today. Alpha women do not reward jerks, assholes or losers with sex and affection like so many women are doing today. Also, Alpha males in the past would have never lowered themselves to sleep around with women who had issues or who were promiscuous like so many seek out today.

      Nowadays the downfall of male/female relationships is a clear picture into the fact that gender roles are so screwed up b/c people want to distort what a real man and woman should be for their own agendas.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 11, 2011 @ 07:29:11

        Neecy, this was excellent. The definition of an alpha female is as described in your post but there was one trait that I overlooked and that was alpha females are very independent women as well. When I did a search on the definition that trait is always the first one, and it is true. I even came across a PUA message board and that is exactly how the men there described an alpha female as stated in this post–along with my definition.

        Yes, the gender roles of old were more clearly defined and that made for better long lasting unions and happier marriages. There were no battle of the sexes; men held up their end of the bargain to provide and protect and women kept the household running efficiently. The definition of an alpha (male or female) today have negative connotations attached to them because as you mentioned, others have twisted the definitions to fit own agendas.

        I don’t care how hot or good-looking a guy is, if he is an asshole or a jerk he won’t get far with me. I will admit that there was a time when I was attracted to inappropiate men (that’s how it is when you are commitment phobic), although I was attracted to them; I just couldn’t bring myself to reward them with sex no matter how much I desired them.

        Will I have regrets about this later? Probably not.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 11, 2011 @ 11:14:31

          Exactly Liza. men and women had much better relationships in the past b/c the gender roles were clearly defined and each gender upheld their end of the bargain.

          People do twist the terms and ideals of Alpha/Beta male and female to fit their own agendas these days. And the reality is the ORIGINAL ideals of the Alpha male and female have been completely lost and distorted and that needs to be pointed out.

          I understand times and things change, but that doesn’t mean people can’t point out what it truly means to be an Alpha/Beta male or female especially when they worked so well in the past.

          I must have been an odd ball. I never liked assholes or jerks when I was younger nor do I like them today. I get more approached by these types and they are a complete turn off to me. Maybe you did like those kind of guy when you were younger which would prove what the PUA’s say about younger women being attracted to guys who act like this, and then being turned off by them as they mature and get older. But I’m an odd ball b/c even when younger and sought after by these types I never had any desires to be with any and the minute a guy started acting like a jerk, I would quickly move onto the next.

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  11. Liza207
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 07:56:02

    Masculine acting, A type personalities, ball busters, prudish, hard-core, bossy, runs things and people with an iron-fist, a she-male in a dress, overbearing, demanding, not easy to get along with, unpleasant and dominant etc.

    —-

    I don’t know where this definition came from. If an alpha male is considered a man’s man how would his female counterpartner be a she-male– wouldn’t she be woman’s woman–very feminine woman to compliment how very masculine he is.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 16:58:40

      EXACTLY! That is why it simply doesn’t make sense when people start describing Alpha women as masculine she males. ANd a lot of times the women who are describing Alpha women this way think ITS A GOOD THING for womenm to act like this b/c it somehow proves they are ‘STRONG’. UGH!

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  12. Liza207
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 08:08:23

    These *lesser* women have morphed the true Alpha men into egotistical over sexed men who measure their Alphaness by the amounts of women LESSER WOMEN he can bed.

    —-

    This true these men are not settling down early at all because they are out there having the time of their lives sexing these women. The numbers for some of these guys in the hundreds.

    And if an alpha female gets him to commit to her she may have to live with fact that he will continue to sex these women because they won’t care that he is married or in a long-term relatiioship. That’s what I would be worried but when getting involved with these men in a serious way–you won’t have him all to yourself not with the way the SMP is these days.

    Think about it in terms of how western society has taken a hit in the workforce with companies outsourcing work overseas in third world countries or paying lower wages to immigrants who are more than happy to take what they can get to live and survive.
    This pushes the quality workers out of the market b/c they would demand higher wages for their expertise, experience and quality as a worker. As a result, we as Americans have to have business conversations/transactions over the phone with people who we can barely understand and who barely speak English.
    —-

    I love the analogy it describes the SMP perfectly. This exactly what’s going on and it’s really grim.

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  13. Liza207
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 08:23:36

    There was a time when women were only seen attractive if they kept themselves in shape, had a feminine demeanor, thought highly of herself and had a certain amount of chaste (i.e. kept her legs closed until the right man came along). Nowadays? Hmph! A woman doesn’t have to be or do much to be seen as “hawt”, “attractive”. She can be a slut, out of shape with a boatload of magazine subscriptions ISSUES and she will be considered attractive if she is easy or combs her hair.
    —–
    Yep. Women where at the top of their game back in the day. Taking a quote from the TV show “Mad Men” which takes place in the 60’s, “women today are either Marilyn (Monroe) or Jackie (Kennedy)”. Now with fat-acceptance being advocated, Ameican women have been lulled into thinking that it is okay to let your appearance go to shit–it gives me a headach when I hear a coworker/friend of mine say, “why should I have to make myself look good for a man” . It’s not just about looking good for male attention it’s about being a GIRL. I love being a girl and all the things that comes with that (i.e. clothes, shoes (not crazy about heels, though), hair and make-up). I think some women have truly lost it, in my opinion.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 11:05:13

      LIZA! you.dont.like.heeeeeeeeeellls??? OMG girl! LOL I can’t live without em.

      But you are so right. In the past women took great pride in looking beautiful and feminine. Today is just disgusting how women walk around as if they truly have given up and don’t care.

      I have a very attractive Italian/Cuban co worker and I mean this girl is HARDCORE. She always has on cute dresses and heels, always is made up and never has a hair out of place (granted it takes her 2 ½ hours to get ready everyday). But you should hear how the other women in my company talk about her. They always say stuff like “why is she always so dressed up” “she needs to tone it down” “she is way too over the top” etc. but you know what? She may not be the most facially beautiful, but she is NEVER without male attention and even women hating on her, you can tell really envy and admire her but instead they put her down as though something is wrong b/c she as an individual likes to look good all the time. Women can be such haters.

      And that whole “I don’t have to look good for a man” thing comes straight from Western Feminism on steroids which encourages women to constantly battle against anything having to do with attracting or appealing to men in a more subtle way. YET, most western women are okay with sleeping around with all kinds of men b/c its “empowering”? But looking nice and feminine is trying too much to please a man and we shouldn’t do that according to them.

      Its one thing to be shallow, but it seems women today who enjoy making themselves look good take a lot of criticism. Heck even the movie stars today aren’t as feminine as the ones in the past who took great pride in how they looked.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 11, 2011 @ 11:10:42

        No, Neecy, I don’t like heels- I do like wedges though.

        And that whole “I don’t have to look good for a man” thing comes straight from Western Feminism on steroids which encourages women to constantly battle against anything having to do with attracting or appealing to men in a more subtle way. YET, most western women are okay with sleeping around with all kinds of men b/c its “empowering”? But looking nice and feminine is trying too much to please a man and we shouldn’t do that according to them.

        —-
        This is pure gold, girl.

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  14. Liza207
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 08:26:46

    “Real men” today are men who are just super aggressive without a cause. Just walking around doing the most extreme things ever that would make him seem more like (but not necessarily) a man. Extreme things like Bedding lots of women, using sex as a measuring stick for his manhood, being overly aggressive, rude, violent, disrespectful.

    ——
    This is so sad and they only appeal to the lowest of women too. They are just a joke to me.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 10:56:15

      But the reality is these kinds of men do appeal to a great number of women today b/c a lot of western women on average are Beta/Omega. So yes, a lot of these types of males are attractive to the “average” lesser women which are the majority today.

      So if a guy wants to get laid consistently then he will have to appeal to the majority of lesser beta/Omega women who require that men act like jerks and buttheads.

      The real Alpha women do not settle for these kinds of guys. They typically go for more quality males that would make good husbands and fathers.

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  15. Liza207
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 08:39:04

    Not sure that there are many truly beautiful women left anymore, so I will stick with terms hot and attractive.

    ——

    I get what you are saying here. As we know, men are the ones who decide which women are beautiful, hot or attractive, not even the woman herself. Other women don’t get decide this and never have and never will. Just like men don’t get to decide whether other men are handsome, hot or attractive, although, they have no problem telling women what we should find attraction about them. I wouldn’t trust a guy’s opinion when it comes to the looks of other men, especially if it was a really good looking man. They probably wouldn’t be as honest as a woman would due to probably having insecurities about their own looks.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 10:53:08

      I agree. But what i mean is in terms of beautiful women is not necessarily “looks” per se. But moreso women who I would admire. Now there are women that I do like to mimik in terms of make up etc., but it just seems that the average woman today is not as beautiful as they were in the past.

      There are a lot of “pretty” women but you can be pretty and masculine acting. Beautiful to me encompasses much more than aesthetic beauty and has more to do with femininity. A woman doesn’t have to be aesthetically beautiful, but if she is feminine, nice, has high standards for herself and has some class then IMO she is a beautiful woman. I just don’t see too many of these women around anymore.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 11, 2011 @ 10:59:11

        I totally agree with this. That’s why I love watching vintage movies because I loved the way the women looked and dressed and how they carried themselves.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 11, 2011 @ 16:32:48

          Yes, these women were so well put together and classy and beautiful. Loved their style back then. These Hollywood actresses these days look like walking plastic surgery nightmares. LOL

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          • Liza207
            Oct 11, 2011 @ 18:24:05

            LOL! And they are so skinny and not very feminine looking either. Back then the women were thin and shapely and had curves but they were not fat. I throught Rachel Welch, Ann-Margaret and Sophia Loren were absolutely georgous feminine women.

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            • Neecy
              Oct 11, 2011 @ 21:59:28

              Yes Sophia Lauren, Raquel Welch, Dianne Carol were and still are such classic beauties! They maintained their feminine physiques and beauty without looking like they got it from the plastic surgeon’s office. If these women did have any plastic surgery, it certainly was so subtle it wasn’t noticeable. And notice how great these women still look well into their 70’s!

              The H-Wood women today cannot hold a candle to their female predecessors AT ALL. As you said they look unnaturally skinny, so much they don’t look feminine but rather sickly and freakish. A woman can still be svelte and in shape without looking anorexic. They need to take a note out of the books of Sophia Lauren and Raquel Welch n how beauty in H-Wood was/is really done. Most of these women will never look as good as Sophia or Raquel do in their 70’s and 60’s.

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  16. Emma the Emo
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 12:31:36

    Now I know more about this weight issue. I read this post and listened to some fat women. They can land a man alright – one of similar SMV or a fat fetishist. They just don’t want those, they want the high value man like everyone else. So if you’re fat, you either lose weight and go for the high value men, or accept the lower value ones. No matter what you choose though, you’d have to like your look.

    My dad was alpha :D. And so was my mom, since she had a man confess love for her at his own wedding day (he was marrying another girl), and got an alpha guy to marry her. No sure how she did it, since they were living in a non-traditional society already then.

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    • Firepower
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 15:42:18

      i’m glad russian romances
      haven’t lost that d
      ostoyevskyian appeal

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 16:51:21

      Yes Emma its true a lot of fat women are not really happy being fat and deep down a lot of them don’t want a man that would accept them being that way. Also, some fat women really believe they deserve hot men that more physically well put together women can get. That is b/c this society celebrates obesity in women and tells women that they are beautiful being unhealthy and overweight. I wasn’t one of those women though, who believed I should be entitled to date and be with hot men b/c I knew deep down being big was hindering me although everyone was telling me different.

      Me, I felt like any man that would settle for me at that point in my appearance was a man that i didn’t want b/c I knew deep down most men like for their women to look and be at their best physically. Men who accept their women looking obese are men who are usually insecure themselves and don’t want a woman that most men would pursue b/c he can’t measure up or compete with them.

      I remember watching Dr. Phil one day and there was a couple on there. They were both fat although the husband wasn’t quite as fat as the wife. They showed a picture of her before she married him and when they met and she was thin and very shapely. The wife finally said she was tired of being fat and overweight, but said every time she tries to do something about her weight her husband tells her “she looks good” and tries to sabotage her efforts by cooking the fattening food that she loves. Dr. Phil finally pulled it out of this man why he was sabotaging his wife efforts at losing weight, and it was b/c he was insecure and afraid that if she lost all the weight, that she would be more attractive to other men and he didn’t want that.

      Can you believe this? I believe this is why a lot of men like for their wives to stay fat b/c they are insecure. I didn’t want a man like that, who would never encourage me to lose weight b/c he was insecure and didn’t want me to look my best. I have known quite a few women married whose husbands are like this and I think it’s sad.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 11, 2011 @ 18:16:43

        That is sick .Neecy, a lot of men love punching above their station and desiring women who are out of their league. But if many of them do actually get those women– she will be put through hell (mental and emotional abuse).

        Date in your own damn league.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 11, 2011 @ 21:33:42

          Liza this is sooo true. One of two things happen when men try to date women way out of their leagues. What you just said about how they become so insecure b/c they fear her higher SMV will have a possibility of him losing her to a man more equal on her SMV OR they become too overly nice and accomodating to the woman to the point the woman realizes her SMV is way higher than his and will use that to her advantage by treating him like dirt, talking cruelly to him and emasculating him. I have seen this so many times with women who are dating men who are way below them on the attractiveness scale. And the guy will put up with this solely to be with a woman who is higher than he is on the SMV level. *shrugs*

          Like you said, people need to date within thier own leagues in general to avoid these issues. When people on within a close range of attractiveness usually they treat each other more like equals and have little fears of losing them to people higher up on the SMV scale.

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      • Emma the Emo
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:14:38

        “Men who accept their women looking obese are men who are usually insecure themselves and don’t want a woman that most men would pursue b/c he can’t measure up or compete with them.”

        It seems like that guy on Dr. Phil was one of those insecure guys. But I talked to some guys who do like fat women (they look attractive to them that way), and are confused by how fat women are displeased by this. So I’d say not all men who like fat women are that way because they are insecure. Some just like big girls.

        And frankly, I see nothing wrong in choosing a partner who is less hot than you, because then they have less ability to cheat (they might still be able to, but they would also be more anxious to keep you). It’s not insecurity, it’s pragmatism. But what that guy on Dr. Phil did was very unsupportive and nasty. After all, she married him when she was still thin, so she chose HIM. If you love someone, you do need to support them and help them develop if they need it. But there is nothing wrong with chosing lower SMV/status partner to begin with. I chose a guy who was kind of low in status and he was, surprisingly, not offended that I chose him presisely because of this (due to both this reasoning, and attraction to betaness). Of course I would still help him with everything and be encouraging, but that is how love is – you are supposed to care for their happiness, not be possessive and controlling. So… Maybe I’m assuming too much, but I suspect men who like fat women think like me.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:57:16

          Actually Emma I do think its insecure if you chose a partner lower than you on the scale b/c you don’t want the possibility of them cheating on you. It may also be pragmatic but its still insecurity that drives you to pick a person based on the liklihood they will not cheat on you. It doesn’t seem like a choice in which one really feels happy with the person., but rather settling with someone b/c they don’t want possible competition.

          Its one thing to sincerely be attracted to a person who happens to be lower than you on the SMV scale, but when one does it out of their own fears of avoiding equals b/c they don’t want competition it signals insecurity at least IMO.

          Also, you are right. There are men who do like the way fat women look, but the point is NOT MANY would choose an obese/fat woman over a shapley svelte woman if they had the choice. Also, most men who usually desire fat women are not usually the kind of men most or average women would find attractive either, I find. I don’t think pointing to the small number of men who like fat women will help women see that being out of shape and unhealthy looking is going to hinder them in the dating arena for the most part.

          I don’t believe human beings were meant to be fat and the whole point is its really unhealthy for a person to be overweight. All of the co-morbidities that come along with obesity signals that its obviously not the way the body was intended to be. So to me a man that finds it okay for his woman to be obese and fat is a man that IMO doesn’t really care about the health or quality of life or longevity of his partner.

          I do not agree though with men who berate their women to look as skinny as possible either. But encouraging and wanting your partner to be in shape and healthy is completely different than supporting unhealthiness or harassing and making them feel they need to be super skinny.

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          • Emma the Emo
            Oct 12, 2011 @ 12:11:54

            OK, you touched upon some very interesting points, not related to each other, and I wish to discuss them.

            1) “Its one thing to sincerely be attracted to a person who happens to be lower than you on the SMV scale, but when one does it out of their own fears of avoiding equals b/c they don’t want competition it signals insecurity at least IMO”

            How about realism? What If I just don’t want any STDs and avoiding cheating people is high on my priority list? I don’t see this as insecurity. Of course, choosing someone who is only somewhat attractive is not true love, but if you value fidelity (for whatever reason, like to avoid getting cuckolded or something) more than their attractiveness, it’s not so bad. I’m not personally doing this, but I can see how other people could have other reasons other than insecurity.

            I’d have to agree though, that if you want to choose someone for true love, you’d have to be attracted to them enough; and if you choose someone unattractive just so they wouldn’t be able to leave you, you would most likely cause yourself pain and to them as well.

            2)”So to me a man that finds it okay for his woman to be obese and fat is a man that IMO doesn’t really care about the health or quality of life or longevity of his partner.”

            People keep saying this, but remain fat. They might think “I’m fat now, this is not life. My life will only begin when I lose weight”. And then they live as fat people all their lives (yo-yo dieting, losing weight and regaining it, or being too busy, etc.) and as they get old, relalize they never truly lived because they never accepted their life as a real life. I hope this doesn’t apply to you, but to many people, it does. This is another reason why I encourage people to like those who accept/like them as they are, even with all their obesity. You definitely don’t want to be stuck with those who drag you down (encouraging you to stay fat when you really don’t want to), but you don’t need to alienate those who like you as you are. Of course, this is an individual choice and I don’t really know you, so I’m not saying you should follow this route.
            Plus you can reduce the health risk with exercise and not eating junk. Heard somewhere that fat active people are more healthy than sedentary thin people (but still not as healthy as thin active people).

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            • Firepower
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 13:02:11

              erma the emo

              This is another reason why I encourage people to like those who accept/like them as they are, even with all their obesity.

              yah, but you tell us your hot, so its not like you have to settle for some beta goof tenderly cuddling your bulk, cooing sweetly at how he loves “big boned women” just teh way they are. what do you weigh, like 130 american lbs?

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              • Emma the Emo
                Oct 12, 2011 @ 13:29:15

                Just because I’m thin, doesn’t mean I have no obvious flaws. I’m not hot, I didn’t say that. I’m about a 6.
                If I was fat, I’d totally “settle” for a beta goof, since fatness wouldn’t be such a big deal to me (although beyond a certain weight fatness becomes a big deal and stops you from being able to tie your own shoelaces, which is a drag). Honestly, if I could choose one BMI, I’d choose 25. But this question is hard to apply to me, as I already like beta goofs anyway (btw, goof is such a funny word XD). All I’m saying is that we all have flaws, and some people will actually like you even with those flaws.

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                • MK
                  Oct 13, 2011 @ 07:05:22

                  If a women was loyal and had a good head on her shoulders the whole settling for a beta might not be an arguement. What if said Beta was +- 1 pt to her on looks scale, had a good takehome salary, was semi social and would make a good father.

                  To give up that for the thrill of being penetrated by an asshole makes me laugh at how dumb a lot of women are. I have had neighbors, friends etc.. in the case study above so its not a theoretical thing at all.

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            • Neecy
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 22:29:15

              Emma,

              Dating someone simply b/c they are lower than you on the SMV scale b/c you feel they will less likely cheat on you is not a smart tactic IMO. It’s not the way a person looks or who they are with that determines whether they will cheat. It’s about that PERSON.

              Also, i don’t think it’s a great way to be happy being with someone you are not really attracted to. like i said, if you are genuinely attracted to someone, it doesn’t really matter how low or high they are on the SMV scale compared to you b/c either way you are attracted to them as a person – not for other reasons.

              And people who yo yo diet are not people who are mentally ready to make a change about their weight. That is why they gain, lose and never have any real stability with being at a healthy weight. They are doing it for the wrong reasons and not for the right reasons. A person who takes time to make lifestyle changes, will definitely never get fat again b/c of all the hard work, time and patience it takes to see results and to get to their goals.

              I can tell you most fat people are *NOT* happy with their weight. Many just accept it b/c it’s a lot easier to be lazy and a lot harder to be disciplines. As a result some people say “eff it” b/c they know they are not disciplined enough to work at taking off the weight and keeping it off. SO they just become content with their obesity and fat although not really happy. Its more than about aesthetics. Being overweight comes with its physical problems that simply cannot be denied. Of course there are thin unhealthy people. But there is scientific REAL proof that obesity is dangerous and will cause a lot of internal and physical problems over time.

              I am not saying that people need to disown others in their lives who are supportive of their obesity. I don’t think family, friends whoever do it to be sinister. But they also don’t realize how they are not helping their loved one by not encouraging them to be HEALTHY. This is not about being skinny. Its about being healthy. No one is at their best physically or aesthetically being overweight.

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              • Emma the Emo
                Oct 13, 2011 @ 06:04:09

                “Dating someone simply b/c they are lower than you on the SMV scale b/c you feel they will less likely cheat on you is not a smart tactic IMO. It’s not the way a person looks or who they are with that determines whether they will cheat. It’s about that PERSON.”

                Actually, my logic about this was this:
                1)If you’re a man, if you choose a girl less hot than you, she would have her hypergamous instincts satisfied and would perhaps have less desire to cheat on you. I mean, she would still be able to cheat, since she can get laid at any time with another man, but we’re talking risk-reduction here. And if you want to avoid being cheated on, you should also avoid sluts and perhaps choose someone more traditional, who takes her vows seriously.
                2)If you’re a girl, find a guy who has no money and whom nobody wants to have sex with. Then who is he gonna cheat with, seriously? Of course, since you chose him, he will be pre-selected and might become attractive to other women, so that might enable him to cheat anyway, but it’s not a bad idea.

                Yeah, and I agree, it’s the PERSON that determines if they will cheat, but you can always make some precautions, apart from carefully evaluating their character.

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                • Neecy
                  Oct 13, 2011 @ 09:25:23

                  I can see what you are saying and how logistically this *may* make sense. But it just doesn’t work that way in the real world. In fact, the more insecure a person is about the way they look the more likelihood they will cheat when given the opportunity. That is b/c if they are able to cheat it somehow proves to them, that they are attractive to others.

                  People just need to date and be with others they are GENUINLEY attracted to, have things in common, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Choosing for anything other than that IMO is a recipe for disaster.

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                  • Emma the Emo
                    Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:26:11

                    No, no, I didn’t say you should date insecure people. Honestly, I never heard of insecure people cheating on you just to prove it (I’ve known quite a few, and they all seem to be rather clingy and afraid that YOU will leave them, and try really hard to make you stay)). But nevermind that. Dating insecure people can be hard, as they are jealous and clingy and can get on your nerves. It’s not insecure people you could date, it’s people of lower SMV. Those are not necessarily insecure. Plus a person above you in SMV can be pretty insecure, so it’s not the same.
                    I wouldn’t advise anyone to date someone for purely practical reasons, as most people enter relationships for love. But personally, I could sacrifice a few hotness points for more loyalty. They will then be less attractive to me, but attractive ENOUGH to be with, which is good.

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                    • Neecy
                      Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:36:10

                      Ok now I understand what you are saying Emma. i agree that people need to take more things into consideration as opposed to a person’s looks or how much lower and higher they are than them in the SMV scale.

                      I don’t mind dating a guy somewhat lower in looks, but if i have no attraction to him its not going to happen. Its quite possible for me to be fully attracted to a man who is not as aesthically on the level I may be and its also possible for me to not be attracted to a man who is on the same level of attractiveness. However, I prefer to be with someone equal in looks or within a close range of same attractiveness. Its just better this way IMO.

                      But i still think the more stable relationships are with people who have things in common, people who are similarly close to attractiveness etc. When things are more equal than unbalanced, there is less room for issues and one person feeling inferioir or superior to the other.

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          • Emma the Emo
            Oct 12, 2011 @ 14:14:55

            Also, I heard of this phrase “if you can’t love yourself, you won’t be able to love anyone else”. Always thought it was BS, but now I have an idea of where it comes from. If you hate yourself or just really don’t like yourself, you will not like those who like you as you are. You might like those who are better than you, but I suspect you wouldn’t be comfortable dating them either. Which results in remaining single. (doesn’t mean you can’t love at all, but you aren’t sharing romantic love with anybody. Other types of love don’t disappear from this obviously).
            That’s just my observation, not a judgement about anyone here. It kind of happened to me once, although it was more due to loneliness (the more you stay in isolation, the more you mentally grow teeth, claws, spikes and don’t develop your loving abilities).

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            • n/a
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 16:43:37

              Are those cuts still bleeding? 😉

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            • Neecy
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 22:43:07

              Emma I think you’re a doll, but we don’t agree here on some things. 🙂

              I can’t speak for everyone else, but being single doesn’t mean you are lonely. As much as I crave a good man in my life to love AND HAVE SEX WITH, whether he is in my life or not, I am still a happy fulfilled person. If I never meet “the one”, if I never have kids, I can and will accept that BUT I will still and always be a fulfilled and happy woman no matter what. Despite not having a companion in my life *now*, I am very blessed for the amazing things and people I do have in my life and I don’t take that for granted one bit.

              I can EASILY have been in quite a few relationships. I can EASILY have a ton of sex. I can easily do all those things, if its all about having a man or someone in my life. But with these easy choices comes issues. I see it with people in my life all the time. They can’t stand being alone/single and end up in dead end relationships with men who treat them like crap, play games, use them or just simply neglect them.
              At this point in my life and at my age, I have NO time for games or BS from any man. That means, I have to be very careful about who I allow into my life and space and you know what? its not going to happen overnight that I meet a man I feel completely at ease with to share my life.

              So no, just b/c a person is single doesn’t mean they become isolated, angry and unloving. How many people that are married or in relationships are ANGRY, ISOLATED, and UNLOVING? A LOT of people. So your relationship status does not determine whether you are a happy person or loving person.

              Don’t confuse desiring love and a companion and being single with being LONLEY. There are a lot of people who go in and out of relationships b/c they hate being single, yet the relationships they are in, they may as well be alone b/c their partners mistreat them, neglect them etc.

              Yes this is true. If a person doesn’t love themselves they cannot love anyone else. That I agree with.

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              • Emma the Emo
                Oct 13, 2011 @ 05:43:40

                “I can’t speak for everyone else, but being single doesn’t mean you are lonely”
                Of course not. I didn’t say that. I was also friendless and disliked at that time, which was why I was like that. It wasn’t singleness that did it. Not condemning singleness 🙂 After all, I did say that other types of love still remain even if you can’t accept anyone as a romantic partner.

                “But there is scientific REAL proof that obesity is dangerous and will cause a lot of internal and physical problems over time.”
                Yeah sure, but we’ll all die one day. Life itself will cause internal and physical problems over time. Sooner if you’re obese, but even if thin and active, you will still die. So I say – why not love them as they are? People tend to have many flaws and obesity is not the worst one they can have. I don’t see a problem with people who just accept you, as long as they don’t sabotage your attempts to lose weight.

                I see you see this from your perspective, and I see it from mine, and it’s ok. You’re losing weight right now, right? You certainly don’t want people around you to encourage you to stay as you are, it’s not helping you. And you don’t really want men who’d like you as you are, they are not helping you either. So I understand that my opinion doesn’t offer you much. But I also know people who are fat, yet don’t pay it much attention. Either they just stay physically active, or fatness is the least of their problems. And from experience, I also know how hard it is to make someone stop some bad habit. So after a lot of encouragement and failure, my philosophy is usually “love them as they are, but encourage them when they want to change”. Therefore I don’t see “accepting people as they are” as morally wrong, and don’t mind it when people do it to me. I will not do it for someone who clearly doesn’t want it though.

                But would you say most fat people (at least in USA, where obesity is that prevailent) just don’t want to be (romantically) loved as they are? I don’t completely understand it, but it seems to be because they think you’re insecure since you chose them, or they can’t like you because they can’t like themselves, or because they want someone who would not be content with them being fat, and would encourage them to lose weight. Do I understand it right?

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                • Neecy
                  Oct 13, 2011 @ 09:36:51

                  Yes as you said we see it differenly and that’s ok I still love ya! 😉

                  BTW, I am beyond a point in my life where anyone can really influence my goals be them supportive or unsupportive. In the past though, I was feeling sorry for myself and actually wanted to believe the things people were saying b/c it did make me feel good. But once I got out of that mindset I realized they were not saying those positive things to me to be mean or sinsiter, they really wanted me to be happy.

                  And I really wasn’t that bad looking or *THAT* obese to where I could not have found a man. I’m pretty solid so a lot of times I looked a lot lighter and less heavier than I really was b/c my weight is very evenly distributed. So I was never like that kind of obese where people stopped and looked. I was more full figured than FAT. But still not as attractive as I could have been at a much lower and healtheir weight.

                  I was just much heavier than I needed to be and it did take away from my looks. Especially since I had never been heavy for most of my life. So I knew I was not physically or as eastehtically at my best based on the past. But a person has to get to a point int heir life where as you said they are happy with the way they are. I am happier now with myelf than I have been in quite awhile.

                  But i do want to say this. Yes we all die one day etc., But when a woman or person is overweight, they cannot always enjoy doing the things that a thinner person does. They experience a lower quality of life – back pain, joint pain, gastro issues. Its harder to find decent clothes and shoes and usually one has to pay higher prices for clothes after a certain weight. All these things atsarted happning to me since I got past a certain weight. And they started subsiding as the weight started coming off. So its also about QUALITY of life. I also couldn’t wear the shoes and clothes I loved so much when I was overweight. Now I can wear them and it feels good. I hve less back pain, less joint pain etc.

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                • Emma the Emo
                  Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:09:43

                  I’m glad no one can influence you into something you don’t want, Neecy.

                  You’re right about the quality of life. This is exactly why I’m ok with people who like you as you are, because I always thought they bring joy into life. You don’t want anyone who’d spread self-delusion, but liking someone as they are is the opposite – it means they know your flaws and like you anyway. This is exactly what I think – that people should strive to be as happy as they can in the limited amount of time they have.

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        • Firepower
          Oct 13, 2011 @ 09:11:06

          are you telling us, you get dr. phil in Belarus?
          bad news: that means, your country is
          DOOMED

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  17. bob
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 16:20:33

    and unfortunately a loot of women

    Is this like a murder of crows?

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 16:36:03

      LOL Bob! I guess my mission of trying to exaggerate a lot (like sooooo) was not accomplished. it does look like a loot of women. haha.

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  18. bob
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 17:51:10

    And here I thought it was merely a typo! Silly me!

    The Wiki entry has no entry for a “collective noun” for women.

    Given the meaning of “loot” as both noun and verb, I think “a loot of women” is as good as any 😉

    Congratulations! You are an f’ing genius!

    And I think the Game sites are often mostly about allowing truly non-Alpha males to give off the “vibe” of a true Alpha male, so as to get laid. On the other hand, finding out about “shit-tests” is definitely valuable. Failing those is the very best way to let shitty women walk all over you. The nicer you try to be, the worse you get treated.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 21:28:13

      LOL I guess I accidently didn’t make an error and “loot” actually worked out. YES I am working my way up the genius-o-meter!!! 😛

      Yes i agree that the Game sites are very valuable in helping more softer easy going men get some chagones b/c women these days eat those kind of men alive. Women these days have lost that certain quality of being kind and charming towards everyone. In the past you never really saw women acting so mean towards others who treated her kindly.

      Shitty people will always take an opportunity to walk over someone and mistreat them if they show any signs of overly niceness or vulnerability (which to lower caliber people they see as a weakness). While overly nice guys can be somewhat frustrating, mistreating them and treating them like shit is so wrong.

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      • Firepower
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 13:03:28

        um, your being TOTALLY UNFAIR to shitty people!

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 19:04:15

          THEY DESERVE IT! I hate shitty people and shitty *smelling* people. Cept babies! but they must be under the age of 2 to get away with smelling shitty while still being lovably adorable at the same time 😉

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      • n/a
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 16:46:33

        Yes, Neecy, some of those “overly nice” guys prove so frustrating that you’ll never *go down on them*, no matter how nice they are.

        And that’s mistreatment, isn’t it?

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 19:06:17

          Well. If its a choice between a overly nice guys wee wee and a jerks wee wee. I’m going down on the nice guy’s wee we. So I guess I wouldn’t mistreat a nice guy given the choice! 😛

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  19. Melissa Q
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 05:48:21

    Eloquently put. I think this ‘fat acceptace thing has gone far enough.’ People today argue that it is okay to be fat b/c of Marylin, but she was still shapely. There’s a difference between being fat & shapely.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 12, 2011 @ 07:41:44

      Hey Melissa!

      Omg I can’t believe people are saying Marilyn monroe was fat?! Oh please!I have never seen any fat rolls on Marilyn Monroe. Womens views of normal healthy looking women have been so skewed these days that’s it’s no shock to me that people would try to put Marilyn in the “fat” bucket. The fact is Marilyn like many other women on that era were all beautifully and naturally shaped like a normal woman. Today if you arent shaped like the michelin tire man or olive oil then something us wrong lol

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  20. Liza207
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 09:19:57

    That’s what happen when gay men (fashion industry) started dictating what women should look like.

    The fashion industry back in the day was run by heterosexual men and women.

    Marilyn was not fat. She had a shapely hourglass figure and a flat stomach with no fat roll but she had a but and the men loved it.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 12, 2011 @ 09:27:37

      Yep! It’s utterly ridiculous what the “gay” run fashion industry has done to true female beauty and figures!

      Most of the fashion industry today would see women like Marilyn none, raquel welch and sophia Loren as “fat”. Unbelievable!

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      • Liza207
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 09:46:52

        I think at some point the gay designers should just admit that they don’t want actual women to model their clothes. I think what they actual want is to see men wearing them on the runway and in magazines. The models now are getting surgery to get rid of their curves to look more like teenage boys.

        I guess the designers are offended by them if they look too womanly– they are offended by our lady parts it seems.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:01:23

          Yep Liza. That us what gay designers really want on their runways is men. I just saw in one of the celeb mags this week that Wendy Williams comments on, this big controversy of this model who was on the runway recently who looked disgusting. She basically looked like a skeleton. I’m thinking who thee fuck finds that shit attractive?

          But you’re right the gay fashion designers can’t completely remove women out of the equation so they make them over as much as possible to look like teenage boys. And yes they are offended by womens naturally feminine shaped “lady lumps”.

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  21. Liza207
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 09:39:32

    Marilyn had a butt and men loved it. It seems these days a woman in Hollywood who has a figure like Marilyn’s would be considered fat. I have heard people in the Entertainment industry say unflattering things about Kate Winslet and Christina Hendricks which I think are normal sized women.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 12, 2011 @ 09:52:49

      Yes Marilyn would be considered “fat” these days when u compare her to the h-wood actresses now.

      But Kate winslet and Christina Hendricks are somewhat bigger although shapely. They have the kind of body type I call “a chicken dinner away from being fat/obese” if they dont watch it. I dont thonk personally for myself Their body type Is one to aim for b/c they are really very close In crossing the line to fat/obese. That’s the kind of hourglass body type I have and women with hourglass figures should definitely aim slightly for lower weight as to not teeter on the line of fat.

      To me an ideal normal shaped woman is someone who isn’t too skinny but not borderlining on fat either.

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      • Zorro
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:31:55

        If you research the dress sizes of Marylin’s wardrobe at the time of her death (I forgot what it is), you will see that she was in fact rather small. Not fat at all.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:46:36

          We all agree marilyn was by no means fat she was shapley. But the point is nowadays if you look at Marilyn’s shape or Racquel Welch shape in thier prime and compare that to many of the H-Wood starlets today, they look “fat” in comparison b/c many of these hollywood actrsses look like sticks of gum or lolipop heads. They are unaturally skiny/boney so naturally people are trying to say Marilyn was “fat” b/c they have a skewed idea of what naturally healthy shaped women look like.

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  22. Liza207
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:05:32

    I saw them both of them resently at the Emmy’s and they looked normal sized to me.

    I am curvy too and I know I have to watch it, so my gym membership is one of my most important possessions.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:12:49

      They are somewhat normal sized b/c they have hour glass shapes. But they are too close to the fat line for me to see them as ideal. Women like garcielle buevis stacey dash have ideal bodies that are just right. Not too skinny and not too close to fat either.

      Btw when I saw you you didn’t look too curvy at all. You looked right in the middle. But I hear ya about the gym. I have hourglass and at my age I’m aiming for the lowest but still healthy weight possible.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:42:15

        Stacy is gorgeous. Neecy, make it a life style –like breathing. And once you see the results; how your clothes fits and how men and women look at you. The stamina you will have and being regular, girl, there is nothing like being fit and healthy. Set goals as well. I love the beach so my thing is to be able to wear my bikinis and feel confident so I use that as one of my goals to keep me motivated.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 11:09:47

          Yeah Liza I am really working at making it a lifestyle change for sure. And you love the beach? Psssh! I live at the beach. I was Baptised on a beach for God’s sakes. Maybe that is why I love it so much. LOL I live about 20 mins. away from a very nice beach and can’t see myself living anywhere, where there is not ocean or water.

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          • Liza207
            Oct 12, 2011 @ 11:17:46

            Neecy,

            That is so awesome to live close to the ocean. As you know in NYC there are no beaches so I have to head to Mexico or Caribbean or Florida every year.

            Again, so awesome!

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            • n/a
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 16:37:12

              Liza,

              What do you mean there are no beaches in NYC?

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              • Liza207
                Oct 12, 2011 @ 16:46:44

                I meant, no good beaches. I hate Long Island beaches. And I think Coney Island beach is too ghetto.

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                • Neecy
                  Oct 12, 2011 @ 18:57:41

                  UGH @ Coney Island beach. It looks like you’d lose a limb if you go into that water. that is how it is closer to the Santa Monica Pier. The water down there is so filthy that if you go in it, you may not come out whole. LOL

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                • n/a
                  Oct 12, 2011 @ 21:51:51

                  There are some exceptional beaches on the East End. Georgica is one of the finest beaches in the world, but it’s a hike w/o the copter. 😉

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                  • Neecy
                    Oct 12, 2011 @ 22:45:58

                    N/A so you’re a New Yorker?

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                    • n/a
                      Oct 13, 2011 @ 18:13:02

                      Neecy,

                      Born and bred, but I haven’t been spending much time in my hometown. It’s become a little too tame for my tastes.

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                    • Neecy
                      Oct 13, 2011 @ 20:02:23

                      NEW YORK “TOO TAME”?? Oh Gawd N/A where else are you going to go from there?! LOL. If NY is too tame, my friend you are SOL b/c NY is probably the fastest most un-tame place in the USA.

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                    • n/a
                      Oct 13, 2011 @ 23:24:18

                      NYC used to kick ass. I would get off a plane at Kennedy and my heart would start pumping hard — get into a cab on a crisp fall night — ready for action.

                      A couple years back I was walking alone on a frigid February night on a very dead street a few blocks down from Penn Station. There were two guys maybe a hundred yards away, one on each side, very shady, and walking at the same pace. They were acting like they didn’t have anything to do with each other. Bad news. When they started to close on me, I realized that I was feeling pure New York City street fear for the first time in years. It blew my mind. Years? I would feel it every f’ing day when I was kid prowling the streets. And I realized I hadn’t felt it, not once, for years.

                      NYC got too clean too rich and too fat.

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                    • Neecy
                      Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:15:37

                      N/A that is freakin scarey for sure. NY streets are nothing to play around with in some areas. When I lived in NY for a couple of years I lived on Long Island where its a bit less scarier than the city.

                      I’m afraid though unless you are looking to settle down, nothing will satisfy your need for fast and upbeat like NYC can. L.A and Cali and most other coasts are very very laid back and slow compared to New York.

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            • Neecy
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 18:56:06

              Yeah Liza i live close to the Malibu, Ventura and Santa Monica beaches. part of my territory is in Santa Monica and Malibu and I love it! In the summers I usually go very early to the beach and snag a spot b/c they get pretty crowded very early and the traffic is horrendous.

              I’m telling youooo, you need ot move here chika!!

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              • Liza207
                Oct 13, 2011 @ 07:45:21

                Neecy, just heavenly. If I lived there I would not be able to keep a job because I would want to just lay out on the beach all day long.

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  23. Zorro
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 10:28:57

    “Since most alpha male egos have been so overly inflated to the point where they are not even suitable for long-term relationships or marriage anymore due to all the no-strings sex they are getting from lesser women.”

    Wow. I’m still processing that. Give me a couple more days.

    If this is true, it means that the crop of desirable men is being ravaged by one type of woman so that another type will go without a husband.

    Wow. New one on me.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 12, 2011 @ 11:03:32

      Come on Zorro, you have an IQ of 155 you know what she was saying. Lesser women have lowered the bar in the SMP and therefore the Alpha males have it made b/c of that and use it to their advantage at the expense of the higher caliber women who will either have to accept their infidelities or choose to not deal with them at all. The women on the Alpha male level do not need to be hypergamous b/c they are already up there. So these women do not need to use SEX as a way to get Alpha males unlike the majority of mediocore Beta type Omega type women today.

      Basically its true. Alpha males these days do have inflated egos b/c of the NSA sex they get from women who don’t demand much from them. That does leave a lot of women on his level in the dust if she doesn’t do what all the other girls are doing. While Alpha males still may marry and court Alpha women, they still cheat on them with lesser women who offer up sex to these men b/c they are hypergamous and cannot get Alpha males any other way other than using sex. As a result, Alpha males these days don’t have to settle down with women b/c so many women of lower quality are providing the milk for free. Quality women who don’t believe in screwing men early on, lose out.

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      • Zorro
        Oct 12, 2011 @ 11:35:47

        I understood what she was saying. It’s just that I had never considered the ramifications of that arrangement. Sleazy women are destroying better women’s chances of mating/marrying. Just staggering.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 12, 2011 @ 11:43:00

          (and that us why neecy you don’t jump to conclusions with those who have very high iq’s b/c it might just be you who didn’t understand that they already understood what was being said!) sowwy zorro! Lol

          But yes this is what is happening. I’m just sitting and watching it all unfold b/c at this point for me, I just need a cool decent guy. No alphas needed. But fir younger marriage aged women in child bearing years — I really feel for them if they have any kind of chaste left. 😦

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          • MK
            Oct 12, 2011 @ 14:09:07

            Not me they can easily find a more laid back nice guy (beta by the lingo around these parts) probably even one that makes a good income too.

            I don’t agree that sluts hurt the marriage market for other women because they are mostly different markets especially as you get away from the bar scene. Unless you mean they make it less likely to snag “alphas” that bang them but then those probably were not a good match anyway.

            Neecy why don’t you look in:
            Church (ok might be tough here as its more women dominated)
            More upscale pubs
            Book stores
            Sporting events

            I can help you design a sign if you want to stand out.

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            • Neecy
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 18:49:57

              LMAO! You’re going ot make me a sign? I’ll wear it too. What’s it oging to read:

              “HI, BLACK GIRL HERE WHOSE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING QUITE FAST AND I NEED SOME SEX, LOVE AND A MAN STAT. ALL INTERESTED MEN FEEL FREE TO APPLY ASAP. THANKS!!!”

              LOL

              MK You are right. They can definitley find nice laid back Beta types, but the problem is these guys are usually very shy or socially inept and lack confidence to go after women – even though they have a lot going for themselves. And that is the issue. More Alpha type guys are not hesitant to approach the women they want, while the more laid back guys are.

              oh and uh i won’t be looking in Church for a man, after the last idiot I met there. this fool was trying to get into my pants by DATE TWO! And yet, he was sitting in church every damn week at the altar praying. UGH! LOL

              But I go to book sotres yet I never see any guys there who are looking to pick up women. They usually are knee deep in their computers or reading books.

              Most of the time the guys I do meet are usually at some kind of Happy Hour place or Sports bar when I do go with friends or co workers. That has not turned up any good offers except idiots looking for sex within the fist 5 mins of a date..

              I am thinking of joining like a social group like baseball club or racketball club or somehting like that. Maybe a film group. I might have better chances at meeting more quality men who would spend more time getting to know me as a person.

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              • bob
                Oct 12, 2011 @ 23:06:23

                LMAO! You’re going ot make me a sign? I’ll wear it too. What’s it oging to read:

                “HI, BLACK GIRL HERE WHOSE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING QUITE FAST AND I NEED SOME SEX, LOVE AND A MAN STAT. ALL INTERESTED MEN FEEL FREE TO APPLY ASAP. THANKS!!!”

                That would be just SILLY!

                I say go Nixonian:

                I AM NOT A SLUT!

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                • Neecy
                  Oct 13, 2011 @ 09:05:19

                  haha! Now Bob you know me. i can never just get straight to the point. At minimum anything I write must be a paragraph up to a novel. LOL

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              • MK
                Oct 13, 2011 @ 04:31:02

                LMAO! You’re going ot make me a sign? I’ll wear it too. What’s it oging to read:

                “HI, BLACK GIRL HERE WHOSE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING QUITE FAST AND I NEED SOME SEX, LOVE AND A MAN STAT. ALL INTERESTED MEN FEEL FREE TO APPLY ASAP. THANKS!!!”

                Not bad maybe you could also advertise your blog and have a web application form for the shy computer saavy nerhds

                oh and uh i won’t be looking in Church for a man, after the last idiot I met there. this fool was trying to get into my pants by DATE TWO! And yet, he was sitting in church every damn week at the altar praying. UGH! LOL

                You do not know maybe he thought you were an answer to his prayer from last week. Dear, Lawd, please deliver into the pew next to me a woman who’s biological clock is rapidly ticking who won’t make me wait until date 3 (I hate paying for that extra date between date 2 and 3 but I digress Lawd). PS: Wow there’s a lot of hotties in here this church place rocks as a pickup spot. Amen.

                The above was parody but less you forget your Bible how long did it take Ruth to lay with Boaz once she found out he owned the field.

                I am thinking of joining like a social group like baseball club or racketball club or somehting like that. Maybe a film group. I might have better chances at meeting more quality men who would spend more time getting to know me as a person.

                I’d like to see you sample Internet dating sites. Even if it doesnt work out you’ll have a lot of writing material..

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                • Neecy
                  Oct 13, 2011 @ 09:12:29

                  LOL At the Church thing MK!! Yeah i am sure that is what happened. Frankly, I think a lot of men go to Church b/c they know there are a lot of attractive single women there. I guess not such a bad tactic. Unfortunatley, as you said, the women outnumber the men by so much that its almost not even worth it.

                  I do a little online dating, but honestly I haven’t put much into it. The last date and guy I met is a nice, cute and cool 30 year old (just turned 30 a couple months ago). But he is a little young minded still although very sweet and nice. He’s going back to college and moving back with his mother to help her out. Can’t really say anything negative about him except i think we are just in two different places. Not sure that its going to work out over the long haul b/c he reminds me more of a 24 year old than a 30 something. I prefer someone who is not going back to undergrad school and is a little more on my level or where I am at in my life personally and professionally.

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          • n/a
            Oct 12, 2011 @ 16:42:11

            “No alphas needed.”

            I don’t know about that. I think those types probably go for a smart and hyper-estrogenized gal like you.

            Time to reciprocate the love…

            Either start fucking alphas or we’re gonna have to read 20,000 word posts.

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            • Neecy
              Oct 12, 2011 @ 18:37:39

              LOL N/A! I want a monkey in the middle 😉

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              • n/a
                Oct 12, 2011 @ 21:59:12

                I just can’t believe you haven’t been scooped up. Makes no sense.

                The one megapost you really need to do is entitled: Why I have no boyfriend: the truth.

                I would be very curious to read that book, I mean post. 🙂

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                • Neecy
                  Oct 12, 2011 @ 22:51:34

                  N/A if I knew the answer myself, I’d surely have been scooped up by now. Maybe its b/c I make posts with up to 3700 words? LOL!

                  Seriously, i try. but I’m obviously not doing something right.

                  i have a feeling though something is gonna happen very soon though. My intuition is really telling me. So I am excited b/c I feel something/someone coming very shortly. 😉 I know it.

                  Anytime I wait patiently and hold out and sacrifice for something, it get a really nice pay off later when it does happen.

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                  • n/a
                    Oct 13, 2011 @ 23:33:07

                    I didn’t know I was stopping over in LA. 😉 Heh. Game you so hard.

                    Nah — I hope you find a real gentleman. I really do.

                    Because you’re cool.–

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                    • Neecy
                      Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:12:33

                      N/A how can you game a girl who already knows the ins and outs about game? I have been let in on a dirtly little secret and I know all the rules now 😉

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  24. MK
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 17:02:35

    Good linked article I saw on heartiste this summarizes a lot of women I have seen lately in my circles – http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/11/all-the-single-ladies/8654/?single_page=true

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    • Neecy
      Oct 12, 2011 @ 23:02:50

      MK I’m sorry I somehow missed this post earlier. But i do plan on reading the article in the morning and I’ll comment on it. Going to beddyby now.

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  25. Neecy
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 18:32:33

    for shits and giggles I wanna see what my avatar would look like.

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  26. Mark Slater
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 20:29:26

    Liza: “I meant, no good beaches.”

    There are no good beaches here in Colorado, either.

    The last time I went to the beach was at the Gulf Coast. In fact, I can picture Neecy and myself strolling on the beach arm-in-arm…
    …in Gulf Shores, Alabama! (Think that might raise some eyebrows?)

    I don’t know what half the shoes are that you gals are discussing. Just for full disclosure (cross-reference to the older shoe post) here is what is in MY closet:
    1 pr. Cowboy boots
    2 pr. work boots (One old, one nice and new; so nice, in fact, that I continue to wear the old pair as I dislike the thought of “dirtying” the new pair. Silly, is it not?)
    4 pr. leather casuals
    3 pr. sneakers (again, one nice, three ratty)
    1 pr. golf shoes
    2 pr. slippers
    The above list is easy to accumulate if one keeps shoes since High School.

    “HI, BLACK GIRL HERE WHOSE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING QUITE FAST AND I NEED SOME SEX, LOVE AND A MAN STAT. ALL INTERESTED MEN FEEL
    FREE TO APPLY ASAP. THANKS!!!”

    Neecy, I remember you in my prayers to the Lord every night that your prince will arrive.
    “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.” — Psalm 113:9

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    • Neecy
      Oct 12, 2011 @ 22:58:11

      Mark, you are such an amazing person. Thank you for your prayers. I also have a Mexican lady who is very religious who is also prayingfor me too . Thank you 🙂

      And HA! Mark i am *NOT* scurred of the Anti – Swirling peeps anywhere. So yeah I’ll so stroll with a cowboy on an Alabama beach in a hot sec and feel no shame whatosever. LOL

      And BTW, speaking of swirling, stay tuned 😉 😉 😉

      I have to give you props. Based on your shoe collections, you are a man with many different styles and that is a good thing. So many men have ONE kind of shoe they wear and nothing else. But I do like seeing men in nice leather loafers and shoes as well as combat boots (lol don’t know where the combat boots came from). lol

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  27. bob
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 07:47:45

    Yes i agree that the Game sites are very valuable in helping more softer easy going men get some chagones

    That would be “get some cojones“. Or possibly “cajones“.

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  28. Liza207
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 09:51:26

    ‘So no, just b/c a person is single doesn’t mean they become isolated, angry and unloving. How many people that are married or in relationships are ANGRY, ISOLATED, and UNLOVING? A LOT of people. So your relationship status does not determine whether you are a happy person or loving person.”

    This so true. I look at some people who are married and that are in relationships and they appear to be so miserable and unhappy and I’m not but I’m single. Some people will say I’m being dishonest. LOL! Just about anyone can get in a relationship if they really want to be in one that of course if you have very few standards. For me, it has never just been about just having someone. What is so special about that?

    “So your relationship status does not determine whether you are a happy person or loving person.”

    It does not but most people believe it does and it is pretty pathetic.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 19:39:01

      For me, it has never just been about just having someone. What is so special about that?

      EXACTLY. There are so many women who just neeeed to have a man by their side or they don’t feel complete or whole. Its one thing to desire and want for a companion its another thing to feel incomplete without one.How many people are in relationships that are just dead? they may as well be alone.

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  29. Liza207
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:04:24

    This is off topic but I hear the term “shit testing” a lot in the manosphere. Men saying that women do this in order to see how much of her shit he will endure in order to have the upper hand in the relationship. Men do a lot of “shit testing”as well (i.e. making rude off color remarks, flirting with other women, talking other women and so on). I have been on first dates where men are “shit testing” me to see how much of their shit I will take. It’s usually not hard to detect when they are doing it and for me it is a redflag– indication that a guy may be very abusive if I were to enter into a LTR with him.

    Neecy, have you ever experienced being shit tested? Men act as if it’s only women who do this. Abusive men use shit tests to case their female victims. I

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    • Matt
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:23:50

      Shit testing is done by everybody, male or female, when they first meet somebody. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship they’re entering (professional, intimate, friendly, etc). It’s done both to establish the boundaries of that relationship and to gauge what the hierarchy in the relationship is (who’s dominant, subordinate, etc). It’s not necessarily abusive. It’s just the “feeling out” part of the relationship.

      The difference I’ve noticed between men and women’s shit testing is that once the hierarchy of a man’s relationship, or group, has been established, he stops. Women almost never do. My guess is because men use groups to accomplish a specific task so the leadership doesn’t need to be called into question unless the leader is doing something monumentally stupid. Women’s groups seem to be much more fluid and constantly changing. Hence, more shit testing to make sure the leader is always fit to lead.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 13, 2011 @ 12:49:46

        I believe everything you stated is correct and that there are men that shit test to establish leadership. But I was referring to the men I have gone out on dates with and their shit tests where motivated by more sinister reasons.

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      • Neecy
        Oct 13, 2011 @ 19:45:25

        I also agree with matt.

        I find the men who continuously SHIT TEST throughout a relationship are men who are usually up to no good themselves so they have to keep their women feeling like they are the ones up to no good, or men who are very insecure and constantly need to make his woman feel beneath him.

        Normal and healthy sane men will shit test temporarily and then as Matt said, back off once he is content with his choice. But insecure men shit test women constantly to feel superior.

        I find the same to be true of women. Women usually shit test in the beginning of an initial relationship or if they are unsure about the man’s motives early on. OR they sprinkle their shits tests throughout a relationship when her Spidey senses start saying something seems fishy and suspect.

        But a man who is on his game will rarely if ever be shit tested by his woman as long as she is happy. I won’t usually shit test in a relationship until I feel something is up. Otherwise, I am content.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:27:07

      OMG LIza! This is a perfect post for future! YES. Men do shit test women all of the time. they do it in different ways, but nonetheless it’s shit testing. As you said, they will do and say things to women to see how far they can get or what kinds of reactions they will garner for their shit testing.

      As you said the main way men shit test is by NEGGING, making comments to his woman or women that would make her defensive and/or insecure, flirting with other women. etc. everything you said. I am certainly going to do a post on this b/c I never through of it that way before. men do shit test just as much as women, but do it in different ways. A lot of times when men do it, its to make the woman feel defensive or insecure in some manner. Whe women shit test its moreso to protect herself or b/c somehting isn’t adding up and she needs to put a man through a series of tests to make sure he is not BSing her.

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    • Emma the Emo
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 10:41:07

      Can I answer too? 🙂
      I heard of shit testing, but if you start enduring the shit woman gives you, you already failed the test. You aren’t supposed to endure them, you are supposed to “pass” them (not sure how, but if you pass, you prove to her that you are made of steel and she can’t overpower/abuse you no matter what she does). So it’s a test of a man’s alphaness/strength/masculinity/dominance. I don’t know how much of this is true.
      If this is what a shit test is, then a man’s shit test is probably something else. I mean, he probably isn’t testing you for alphaness and masculinity… Maybe he is simply trying to instill dread in you and make you jealous. Women might do this, too.

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      • Firepower
        Oct 13, 2011 @ 11:18:24

        i agree, it’s like you dating betanerds to shit test them. they must endure the barbs of a 5, while if you stepped up to Alphas, they would hurt your feelings. discretion ALWAYS IS the better part of valor

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      • MK
        Oct 13, 2011 @ 11:57:31

        Using the lingo certain things might be considered displaying high value vs. a shit test.
        Funny thing when I look back on my interactions I am not sure I ever tried to display high value I take it as a given and if the person doesn’t agree their loss (and I just might write them off as a little slow but not get angry).

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  30. Liza207
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 11:26:35

    You aren’t supposed to endure them, you are supposed to “pass” them (not sure how, but if you pass, you prove to her that you are made of steel and she can’t overpower/abuse you no matter what she does). So it’s a test of a man’s alphaness/strength/masculinity/dominance. I don’t know how much of this is true.

    I believe with men, women are suppose to pass their shit tests by not standing up for her when he is making off-color remarks and insulting her. He wants to know early on that he can overpower/abuse her easily without her defending yourself. He wants to know he can dominate her, know that she will be submissive to him, and that she is mentally weaker because he wants all the control and wants to have the upper hand in the relationship at all times.

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    • MK
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 11:59:34

      What if you refuse to acknowledge being tested and keep doing whatever it is you were doing (ie not reacting).

      After all a teacher with authority wouldn’t try to pass an exam given by a 1st grade student why would I.

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    • Firepower
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 13:01:06

      Liza207

      You aren’t supposed to endure them, you are supposed to “pass” them (not sure how, but if you pass

      i do see your point, but actually, I was talking to emma. SHE is the one with power. SHE is the one who chooses nice betanerds to endure her testing.

      like the big fish in a small pond analogy, I dont know how that will translate into her native ukranian so she might get upset.

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    • Matt
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 19:06:29

      “I believe with men, women are suppose to pass their shit tests by not standing up for her when he is making off-color remarks and insulting her. He wants to know early on that he can overpower/abuse her easily without her defending yourself. He wants to know he can dominate her, know that she will be submissive to him, and that she is mentally weaker because he wants all the control and wants to have the upper hand in the relationship at all times.”

      Um … no. No well-adjusted man wants a woman that he knows won’t stand up for herself. Well-adjusted men want a woman that is independent, intelligent and able to think for herself. It means that we don’t have to continually watch over her and it means we can trust her. Nothing kills attraction faster than a woman that defers to me in everything and is unable to form or articulate her own opinions. Normal men don’t want a slave, they want a first officer (to use Althol Kay’s example).

      Liza, with respect, what kinds of men do you spend time with and date that this is viewed as normal, healthy male behaviour? Or at least it’s common enough that it becomes assumed to be normal?

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      • Neecy
        Oct 13, 2011 @ 19:47:17

        Um … no. No well-adjusted man wants a woman that he knows won’t stand up for herself. Well-adjusted men want a woman that is independent, intelligent and able to think for herself. It means that we don’t have to continually watch over her and it means we can trust her. Nothing kills attraction faster than a woman that defers to me in everything and is unable to form or articulate her own opinions. Normal men don’t want a slave, they want a first officer (to use Althol Kay’s example).

        ALERT!! TMI down below. Plug your ears and close your eyes if you don’t wanna know.

        ***************************************************************************************************

        I just got really moist down there.:)

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      • Liza207
        Oct 14, 2011 @ 06:44:30

        Matt, with all respect. I never stated or implied that I viewed this as normal male behavior. In a comment later in this thread I said, ” That is how I deal with shit tests; I don’t knowledge them and keep doing whatever I was doing. And of course, there will be no second date”.

        In dating, we all have encountered a few frogs. These guys don’t get past a first date with me and I definitely don’t sleep with or enter into LTR with them.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 13, 2011 @ 19:57:14

      believe with men, women are suppose to pass their shit tests by not standing up for her when he is making off-color remarks and insulting her. He wants to know early on that he can overpower/abuse her easily without her defending yourself. He wants to know he can dominate her, know that she will be submissive to him, and that she is mentally weaker because he wants all the control and wants to have the upper hand in the relationship at all times.

      BADDABING! That is exactly why some men shit test. Men who shit test do it to claim their superiority and inferioritize a woman. Insecure men have to constantly shit test women to establish dominance over her in the wrong way.

      Normal sane and healthy males will establish dominance not by directly shit testing women, but by simply taking the lead. His shit test is he will take control and establish his dominance without asking or saying so and will sit back and watch how she reacts. If she turns into some ball busting fem-nazi maniac he’s outta there. If she settles nicely into the role, he’s done with the shit testing until (or IF) she tests his dominance later down the line.

      Insecure men who cannot establish dominance the natural way will shit test by insulting, making off color remarks, flirting with other women, making his woman feel insecure or defensive about herself.

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      • Liza207
        Oct 14, 2011 @ 06:59:00

        Neecy, that is it. These men are extremely insecure and they looking for a woman which whom they can control and dominant–sick puppies the lot of them.

        You mentioned NEGGING, I have always saw negging as a form of shit testing too.

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        • Neecy
          Oct 14, 2011 @ 12:10:37

          Me too. Negging is a form of shit test to women. Unless its in a playful banter which most of the time it usually isn;t.

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  31. Liza207
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 12:54:13

    That is how I deal with shit tests; I don’t knowledge them and keep doing whatever I was doing. And of course, there will be no second date.

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  32. n/a
    Oct 17, 2011 @ 00:04:02

    You have how you can game a girl who knows all about game?

    Easy.–

    🙂

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  33. n/a
    Oct 17, 2011 @ 00:05:17

    You *know* how you can game a girl who knows all about game?

    Easy.–

    :))

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