“I’M BORED!”

What does that *really* mean when a woman says this? That there is trouble in PARADISE 😐

SURE WAYS TO BORE A WOMAN

 1)      Overly wholesome and/or too overly nice – if we want to relive Little House on the  Prairie we’ll watch it on the Hallmark Channel (YES I know what channel the re-runs are on;  NO you cannot make fun of me on my blog!)

 2)      No excitement in the bedroom – No,  we’re  not interested in Mr. Rogers clones in the bed 

Hi there schnookums! Would you be miiiine? Could you be miiine?

–not even the sweetest, goodest (no it’s not a real word but it’s a Neecy Nest word!), modest, conservative women. We like excitement in the bedroom! Where else can a modest woman let loose?

 3)      No Kino – women in love with a man want to be touched by him even in the most subtle dominant ways. You don’t need to tongue us down in public, just slight Kino here and there works and lets us know you’re in control.

 4)      Lack of interesting conversation –  *sigh* yes our brains are bigger than men’s (hey I’m just the messenger!) and yes, we women  need mental stimulation

 5)      No personality –  Watching paint dry is much funner (no it’s not a real word but it’s a Neecy Nest word!) and more stimulating b/c at least we can get high off of the fumes  – J/K!!!! 😮 😈

"Happy Trees! Happy Little Trees!"

 6)      Nothing in common/differing lifestyles – this needs to be established before moving to the level of relationship status

 7)      Predictability beyond  being trustworthy, solid, masculine, loyal, honest. Predictability on things like I listed is very important, but there are some things in a relationship where it’s okay to not be too predictable or canned.

 There are more but these few are just a start of the many things it takes to keep women happy and in love. Some wonder if its nature or nurture that causes women to become so easily bored in some of their relationships. I’m going to say nurture b/c women are typically known to be much more complex than men in general which requires a greater deal of mental and emotional complexities a man needs to feed to women in order for her to be fulfilled and happy.

 IN A HURRY TO GO NOWHERE FAST?   TRY INCOMPATABILITY….

 Why is compatibility such a foreign concept when it comes to LTR’s? Its soo important for people to understand what they are getting into when they date and even go so far to marry. Like understanding your sex drives and sex drives needing to be on the same level.  If your SO only wants to have sex once a month while you like it 10 times a day – do you think its gonna work over the long haul?

 If your partner loves to travel and/or go out a lot to different venues and places and you like to sit and watch Jersey shore and other reality shows in your spare time do you think that’s going to work?

If you want kids and your SO doesn’t will that work? If you are family oriented and you’re SO isn’t will that work?  If you have certain values and your SO doesn’t uphold or share those same values will that work?  Do your lifestyles mesh?  So many things it takes and requires to even begin to have a successful relationship these days are often the last things people even consider (if they even consider it).

 It today’s society it’s all about quick, fast and easy. Gotta jump into relationships with just anyone for the sake of feeling complete and whole (especially women). And I believe this is why women become so bored later in their loves lives. They feel pressured to be partnered at all times, that a lot of women settle with a guy they don’t really like or end up with losers who excite them (and nothing else) b/c of the fear they will end up alone or “manless”.

 I am not sure why men jump into things, but I can speak as a woman as to why so many women end up in dead end relationships – society tells women they are not valuable if they don’t have a husband or companion. So they seek to fill that “void” by any means necessary and end up in disastrous or boring relationships.

 THE RESUME GUY – SOWWY LOOKING GOOD ON PAPER IS NOT ENOUGH

A man that looks good on paper,  is just a man that looks good on paper. I cannot speak from a males standpoint but more from a woman’s. Women tend to feel pressured to date and mate with guys who look good on paper, but who may not stimulate her in various ways needed to keep her on board in the relationship. While men are often let off the hook for not being with a woman they simply have no desire or attraction to, women are often pressured, guided and told to “give him a chance” even if in her gut she feels he is not the guy for her in the long run.

So what happens? A woman “gives a guy a chance” and suddenly when it’s too late to make a break without breaking his heart, she’s invested in a relationship with a guy who bores her but looks great on paper.  There is a LOT of guilt on a woman’s part when she is faced with this dilemma. A lot of women fight their needs for having those butterflies with a guy b/c she feels she needs to pick a guy who everyone says is great for her, and then she does and finds herself bored to tears. A woman will also fight for a long time to overlook their boredom, but eventually will pop and can’t take it anymore and have to end a relationship that probably should have never gone as far as it did.

In more sad and extreme cases if a woman feels trapped or overly guilty and wants to avoid breaking a guy’s heart, she may wander off and cheat as opposed to ending the relationship.

So many women often end up outgrowing their SO’s b/c often times they jump into something with a guy who looked good on paper and she felt guilty for not pursuing it OR she married young and later as she matures and develops and learns more about herself, that she is no longer in love with the guy she married several years earlier.

What happens a lot of times with women b/c of how we are raised,  you meet a guy or girl and everything seems good b/c they have met more than a few of the items on your looong list of “wants” in a mate. But when you get to know them further, they may have certain character or personality things that you feel don’t mesh. But you force yourself to overlook the things that really don’t work and will cause issues later in the relationship and try to make it work or “change him” b/c he looks good on paper. What happens later is the two people really don’t have much in common and the woman being more likely to pro-actively end the relationship moves on out of boredom. The man becomes hurt and blindsided and it’s a bigger mess than it needed to be.

 EACH GENDER HAS IT TOUGH IN THE SMP

 I was thinking about what women and men are up against in the SMP and in the relationship arena and I have to say each gender has its challenges, but  in different ways. Since men are driven more by visuals, it places a lot of pressure on women in general to meet those visual standards of men. Women need to consciously be aware of keeping themselves looking good in a competitive SMP of other beautiful and available women.

 Some women naturally may not make the grade aesthetically and are often riddled with great deals of insecurity and low self-worth or they just end up alone and miserable b/c they can never get the guy they like or want. Also, being a woman that is drama free these days is a GIFT in the SMP b/c it takes much effort for a lot of women these days to be drama free b/c it’s very much encouraged for Western Women to have a lot of BS going on in their lives.  Side note: Ladies, drama is for actresses and young teenage girls. A grown woman with drama is a recipe for disaster in a relationship with a decent laid back guy.

 Men, OTOH while still needing to be conscious of how they look and striving to look visually appealing, really have to focus more on non-visual things to keep women happy – feeding her emotional, sexual and mental needs – which can be quite a job. If a guy becomes too laid back or too comfortable he runs the risk of boring a woman.

 Also, while many modest or feminine women would avoid saying this, fellas, you need to really let loose in the bedroom. Gotta say it.  I understand some guys are with girls who are very modest or conservative and feel that by getting a little too wild or freaky in the sack may cause her to run or think he is a perv, but it’s not true. Now for every couple  or woman, the level of “risqué “ may differ more than others. But the point is, it needs to be exciting to the woman.

 Almost any woman I have ever known who wasn’t sexually loose or promiscuous wants to know her guy will and can please her in the bedroom by doing things he or she may deem as “bad” or “risqué”. Now I am not talking overly disgusting and overly nasty stuff like A2M or other things that would risk the health or even sanity of a woman. But without going into detail, I am sure you all know what I mean. 😉

 Both genders have their work cut out for them when it comes to keeping their SO’s happy in a LTR. But it’s worth the effort if you meet a person who is WORTH that effort.

MEN ARE *typically* PRACTICLE AND SIMPLE – WOMEN ARE *typically* COMPLEX

 Now before the NAW/MALT Po’ Po’ comes rolling in telling me I can’t place men and women in little boxes, I say to you, some things are more common than others and that is how I see it. I see these differences in men and women as not bad for either gender but rather as necessaries for balance and equilibrium required for each gender to function and balance each other out. Remember God made man and woman different for a number of reasons.

 Men are practical for a reason and women are complex for a reason. It’s a balance.

 Ladies if you want your man to stay happier than a pig in sh!t, it requires very simple things like:

1)      Being  and staying visually appealing to him

2)      Being relatively easy to get along with and pleasant (i.e. DRAMA FREE)

3)      Sexually available in “REASONABLE INTERVALS” (hehe love that MATT – thanks!)

 THAT’S IT!!! Now since I am not a man, it would only be right for me to throw out to the men if I have missed anything. But I am almost positive I got most everything of importance covered.

However, things are not so simple when it comes to keeping women in LTR’s happy and fulfilled.

 IF A WOMAN CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF A TICKING CLOCK – IT’S JUST  A MATTER OF TIME…

Before she either goes or goes KOO KOO or. BOTH.

 Fellas, if you’re unaware of  what makes your woman tick, better believe she’ll be hearing a ticking clock. Once a woman can clearly hear a ticking clock, she’ll be checking out in 5,4,3,2….

 The idea is that a woman should not be watching the clock in a relationship.  But women don’t consciously want to make men’s lives difficult or purposely have these needs for constant and ongoing mental and emotional stimulation it’s just – what it is.

 Even the woman with the best of intentions of being and wanting a good guy can easily and naturally become bored or turned off if he appears to be too wholesome or overly nice. WHY? B/C wholesome and overly nice guys (like asswipes) are very predictable.  Predictability  on either end of the spectrum is just – BORING to a certain extent.

Predictability is comforting and comfortable – not exciting. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place in a relationship for predictability – but in order to keep things exciting for both partners there needs to be some spontaneity and mixing up of things here and there to keep it interesting. While men can deal more with predictability in relationships, it’s a total downer for women in most cases where it’s overly done.

There is just something within us as women that wants to have that “stirring” or “butterflies” inside that makes us interested in being around and with a man. The struggle a woman is often faced with is we want a good guy but we also want a guy who stimulates and excites us in some way – NATURALLY. Matt made a good observation and I think this encapsulates what women really desire (although would never say). We want to be kept somewhat “off balance”. No woman besides Neecy would *EVER* admit that! The minute we find our footing for too long, its becomes “uh oh I know what’s coming up next” and then we’re “bored”.

We don’t *really* wanna have to tell a man in a relationship what to do to excite us. We just want it to happen unconsciously and naturally – or at least we want to believe that it’s just natural or “just happening”. IOW’s if a man has to consciously make an effort in keeping his woman excited, we don’t want or need to know as long as it’s being done.

A predictable man usually is a man that has become overly comfortable in his relationship. He stops doing those spontaneous Kino touches, he stops saying those things that give her that sudden spurt of excitement, he stops looking at her a certain way, he doesn’t really talk to or with her. It really doesn’t take much for a man to keep a woman excited, but for a naturally unexciting man, it will take more of a conscious effort.

UNPREDICTABILITY IS HAWT! (yeah yeah Omerta I know my usage of the word “HAWT” is soooooo unpredictable!) 🙄 😆

 There is *NOTHING* like being with a man who is honest, trustworthy, caring, dependable, solid, masculine, dominant and still UNPREDICTABLE in all the right ways.  NOTHING!

 I call this guy a Monkey in the Middle.

 But the greatest part about a guy who is a monkey in the middle is he has all the good traits that a quality woman, her mommy, daddy, nana and grampy would adore for their daughter and granddaughter, while having other traits that keep  his woman super excited with that “stirring” inside of her. The best way I can describe it is, he gives her balanced scales with one tipping over in either direction every now and then. She’s on a never ending see saw!

 That is why I say women love  jerks and assholes as much as they love overly nice wholesome guys – THEY DON’T! Especially when it comes to long term relationships. Both types of men get tiring, predictable and boring after a short time.

 But a guy in the middle is perfect LTR material b/c he has the ability to keep a woman happier beyond initial and/or beginning stages of a relationship. He has staying power b/c he’s unpredictable yet still satisfies her needs and wants for a good guy with an edge.

 Guys can do small and little things that catch his woman off guard that keep her with that feeling of “oooooohhh!”. Doing it too much becomes predictable, but doing it ever so often is just enough to keep her ON  *OFF* her toes.

 NEECY PLEA: FELLAS, PLEASE DON’T  PLEASE DO TRY THIS AT HOME?

 Fellas, if you are in a LTR you *NEED* to be doing *at least* these things. At least TRY them. If your girl doesn’t like or respond positively then she’s a weirdo! J/K. But honestly a guy cannot go wrong with just trying something out of the ordinary to see the response he gets from his girl. I realize these things *may* only apply to Neecy and what she likes, but i’m pretty sure some women would also love these things to. like I said, doesn’t hurt to try?

 1)      squeeze her buttocks in a place where it may be taboo YET where no one can see (avoid embarrassing her you just wanna catch her off guard without anyone noticing),

 2)      lick her lips or go in for a REALLY QUICK and FAST tongue kiss while sitting at a stop light or in the middle of annoying traffic or  while on your way to a family function( an ex did this to me once.  YEE HAW exciting man!!!) and then start talking about something totally unrelated. She’ll be so damn confused at what to think about, but better believe her heart will be pounding and she’ll be doing backflips on the inside.

 3)      Smack her bottom when she is having a meltdown. Believe me she will be so shocked she’ll have no choice but to give you that open mouthed surprised “omg should I be happy or mad” face with a loud screeching laugh of shock and excitement – she’ll forget about what she was bitching or going on about.

 4)      Don’t be afraid to be a little rough in the bedroom. I won’t go into detail but just know every woman likes to be dominated in the bedroom. Boring predictable sex is surely not going to keep a woman around in a LTR. You don’t need to be a Mandingo but darnit, work what ya got!

 5)      Say something naughty to her in the most unaughty of places. Like a ballgame, church (NO JUST KIDDING PLEASE DON’T DO THAT!), Thanksgiving dinner, during a hike up Mount Kilimanjaro, while visiting grandma and grampy, where ever it would not call for a naughty comment is the point.

 I think you get the picture right? The point is women like unpredictability and a little excitement here and there. But a quality woman also needs predictability in the sense that she knows you are a solid guy who she can count on, trust, and give herself to and not be used or taken advantage of or lied to. That is the basis of any relationship. It needs to have a solid foundation with a mix of spontaneity and fun on different levels and at the right times.

 Men too also like when their woman is spontaneous and fun, but possibly in a different way? Not sure but I am guessing that as a woman he too wants to know he has a solid and quality partner he can count on and trust, and who always acts like a true feminine lady. But he too wants to be surprised with fun, spontaneous *acts* ever so often.

 Either way, the point is women are not hard to please if you mix it up and stop being so darn predictable and comfortable in your relationships.  Men have a tendency to get really comfortable once they settle and this is quite dangerous these days where today the average woman has the attention span of a GNAT (I spelled it right N/A – see I’m learnin’) 😉

 I just don’t want to see good men going all the way to the extreme end of the man-o-meter (asshole) b/c they didn’t realize all they needed to do was mix it up a bit.

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278 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liza207
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 15:33:14

    Neecy, is your best yet.

    I don’t understand how two people can get into a relationship without knowing exactly what their expectations are. Or knowing what will make them happy in that relationship.

    Neecy, I do believe that couples should tell each other what they want in the bedroom. I mean, how else are you going to get the satisfaction you are seeking sexually in your marriage/LTR. In my opinion, that has to be communicated.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 15:42:59

      Thanks Lizabelle!!!!

      yes sex is an IMPORTANT conversation that needs to be addressed when entering into a LTR. Too many men and women are not on the same page and it becomes a disaster later on down the line. The point of a LTR is that you are with someone you can share yourself with comfortably and know that you can get your needs fulfilled and met since you are not out seeking it from various other people. its not fair to each other to be in a LTR where the sexual desires andneeds are not being met.

      Also, kids and long term goals are never really talked about until its too late.

      I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable with discussing these things, but they don’t realize they are creating a bigger problem over the long haul when they don’t.

      Communication is probably one of the most important (yet least done) things in a LTR and before entering one.

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      • Liza207
        Dec 27, 2011 @ 16:01:33

        I want to able to express my deepest sexual desires with that one person that I feel safe with to do so. I just don’t get exactly what people are getting into relationship for these days. I am single right now but I would rather remain that way than enter into a union, just so I would not have to alone which sounds pretty grim to me.

        But what really annoys is the way society deems it necessary to tell women to settle. This could very well be the problem–men are never told to settle, so they get the womaen they want, and therefore they feel more satisfied in the relationship while women are settling for them and are miserable in the process.

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        • Neecy
          Dec 27, 2011 @ 16:07:28

          Liza you are so right! I would rather be alone than be in a relationship with a person who just doesn’t make me tick. And you hit it on the head. men are not expected in any way, shape or form to settle for *ANY* woman they are not attracted to nor have any desire for. Yet women are often ushered to be with men whom in her gut she is not feeling, and as a result are much quicker and more likely to become dissatisfied and bored as well as more likley to end the relationship.

          If more women just sat still and listened to their instincts and didn’t allow society and people to make her feel he has to settle for a guy she is not one with, more women would be satisfied and happy in theirr relationships – and so would men b/c they would not be left or blindsided by a wife or g/f leaving them.

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  2. Neecy
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 15:51:15

    Also, i never understand the concept of a woman becomming closed up and sexually unavailable to a man she is in a committed LTR with or a marraige. i don’t get it.at.all. maybe b/c I don’t just casually have sex or date just anyone or enter into LTR’s with just anyone. I see them (LTR’s) as special and as passes to do almost anything you want to intimatley/sexually b/c you are in a committed and trusted relationship.

    I won’t even give a guy i am not in a committed relationship with oral sex. I feel that is something that should solely for your b/f or a man who you are in a monogamous relationship with. That is jsut sooo beyond intimate to me, i don’t understand how some women just give any guy oral sex.

    I would never do certain things with a guy in a casual dating relationship that has not committed to me that I would do for a guy that has committed to me.

    Women today give their all and everything to guys who don’t even committ to them, and then don’t do the crazy and insane things for the guys who actually committ to them.

    Its mind boggling,

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    • Liza207
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 07:52:28

      “I won’t even give a guy i am not in a committed relationship with oral sex. I feel that is something that should solely for your b/f or a man who you are in a monogamous relationship with. That is jsut sooo beyond intimate to me, i don’t understand how some women just give any guy oral sex.”
      ——-
      Yep. I am not putting some random guy’s d**k in my mouth. Some females give it out like it is a handshake or something. Our mothers would never admit to ever giving oral sex (even though I know a lot of them did) becasue it was considered such an intimate act and it was also considered very shameful. This was even the case when I was coming of age in the 90’s.

      Now, you girls as young as 11 who have mastered it before they have even hit puberty! I am so glad I am not a mother in this day and age.

      “I would never do certain things with a guy in a casual dating relationship that has not committed to me that I would do for a guy that has committed to me.”
      —–
      That is it for me, too. When we are in a committed relationship you will get all the trimming- not before. I mean, you should somethings for later.

      “Women today give their all and everything to guys who don’t even committ to them, and then don’t do the crazy and insane things for the guys who actually committ to them.”
      ___
      This is true. How about the women who pull bait-n-switch on their husbands–awful.

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      • Neecy
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:00:33

        Yeah Liza so many women don’t see oral sex with a man as very intimate. I remember having this discussion with 6 co workers/friends of mine at lunch one day. Only 2 of the 6 of us felt that oral sex with a man was very special and intimate. All the others really didn’t see it as a really intimate act at all. *shrug*

        And you are right. Many young girls as young as 11 are giving oral sex in school to guys b/c they believe that still makes them a virgin b/c they haven’t been penetrated. But if you can catch an STD from something then its a sexual act. plus I would like to see them tell their future b/f’s etc., that they were virgins but they put a million guys penises in their mouths – so technically they are still “good girls” and virgins. LOL 😕

        Also, as much as I hate to say this. Any woman who does a bait and switch on her husband, and was sexually available and did things with her man before they got married and then STOPPED doing it after they got married? Psssh. I’m sorry but this is where I say the husband has a right o go out and cheat on her if he feels he will lose out in court. That is UTTERLY beyond disgusting for any woman to do that, just as its disgusting for any man to play the great guy and then turn into a monster after getting married.

        I have a co-worker who brags about this and I htink its just scumbag behavior. She boasts and brags about how now she only gives her hubby blow jobs on special occassions. I asked her what about when you were dating, and she said she did it all the time. UGH. So wrong. I’m sorry but a man has a right to leave and/or cheat on his wife is she does that IMO. A woman should alway sbe sexually available for a man that has made a committment to her. Esepcially these days where not manhy men will or have to committ to women to get laid.

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        • Liza207
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:19:02

          I agree that your co-worker is scummy for bragging about only giving sex to her husband when she feels like it. I just have to smh. Women like that have serious issues and have no business being married to anyone but I also believe that people get the partners they deserve.

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          • Neecy
            Dec 28, 2011 @ 11:27:20

            Yep. Marriage is serious business and should not be played with. Anyone who does that bait-n-switch is really asking for some bad karma. Some women know its difficult for a man to just up and walk away from a marriage and they play these kinds of games. Then they wonder why most men will not marry – well b/c they see this behavior. Notice its often a ongoing joke in the media and stuff about the wife that won’t give it up to the husband. So we have a culture that promotes this as if its no big deal. but it really is. Hell I am a woman and if my husband aint giving up the goods or letting me do things, then it aint gonna work. I’m leaving! lol

            I am sure her hubby tells all of his single friends what she does. Don’t think that makes them suspicious about getting married?

            Hell maybe he is getting some on the side. LOL

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  3. bob
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 16:21:23

    You talk too much.

    Take off your clothes and make me dinner.

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  4. Zorro
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 16:25:43

    Okay, not to obsess on one small point, but since when are women’s brains bigger than men’s????

    http://medicaleducationonline.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=46&Itemid=69

    ” (1) Total brain size: In adults, the average brain weight in men is about 11-12% MORE than the average brain weight in women. Men’s heads are also about 2% bigger than women’s. . This is due to the larger physical stature of men. Male’s larger muscle mass, and larger body size require more neurons to control them.”

    Males also have 4% more neurons than females.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 16:33:37

      LOL Well I heard that women had bigger brains than men or that women developed much quicker than males in intelligence? can’t remember where I read this. Oh well.

      My point is that women *ARE* a lot more complex than men, who are typically more practical.

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      • Zorro
        Dec 27, 2011 @ 20:31:46

        No, what you heard is that women are allegedly smarter than men (not) and that they are more practical (maybe…maybe not) than men. If you heard that the human female’s brain is neurologically wired to access multiple centers of processing between the left and right hemispheres, then you are correct. This is the basis for the female’s generally accepted superiority at multi-tasking (and, if you ask this moose, her inability to make up her mind!…but I digress).

        You see what I did there? I jumped all over you for the tiniest little transgression of documented fact. I do that a lot. Ask Liza. Any little detail that I can disprove or assault with an argument…I will.

        Nitpicking little bastard moose. It’s the OCD and the fact I’m a Virgo. And I think astrology’s a pile of shit.

        Still, it’s the holiday season.

        Muah!

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        • Neecy
          Dec 27, 2011 @ 20:49:24

          I said “men” are generally more practical. But I think what you mentiOned is what I read about something in terms of womens brain being much mire able to process more complex things than men.

          Either way I still believe men are the simpler sex and women are the more complex one.

          Oh and I’m used to your nitpicking! It’s fine if it helps me learn facts 😉

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  5. Liza207
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 17:31:25

    As a woman, I really don’t know women are so easily bored but it maybe a bit exaggerated. Some women will spend most of their lives focused on men and relationships and then realize they have not spent enough time on themselves much later in life.

    I have know couples who will live for many years together like the walking dead and you have to wonder why two people would waste years with someone they done even want to talk to.

    If I am going to enter a new relationship I have to be happy or I’ll pass–codependency has never been my thing.

    Neecy, have you ever heard of the study that said, women are most happiest when we are single and men are miserable when they are single. The study had been quoted for years now but I don’t why they came to that conclusion.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 18:25:37

      Liza I think women do more find themselves bored in relationships b/c so many women feel they have to be in a relationship even if they know they may not be compatible with the guy. Like you, I can’t do it. IRS best to remain single.

      I never heard of that study but if it was done years ago it may have been true since many years ago women stayed in marriages they were unhappy in b/c they didn’t have the resources to live a single life. Also back in the day men very much benefited in marriages during mire traditional eras.

      I’m not so sure how that applies these days. I think most people would be happiest being in love and with someone they completely click with than being single. For me being single is perfectly ok if I don’t find that person, but honestly for me it’s not most ideal. Everyone wants someone to love and connect with emotionally, mentally and sexually. But imnot desperate enough to feel I need to be with just anyone to not be single like so many women do.

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    • Zorro
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 20:34:14

      I don’t think women are easily bored.

      I absolutely believe women crave and respond to drama. Any kind of relational activity involving suspense, tension and the potential for either a positive or negative ending is CATNIP to the human female.

      You chicks totally dig on drama. Soaps. Oprah. Anything that inflames human relationships.

      And you know it.

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      • Neecy
        Dec 27, 2011 @ 20:54:25

        I do believe a lot of women these days feed and thrive off of drama but not all women.

        I think it’s natural for young girls to thrive off of drama b/c they are learning how to process and deal with many things. But grown women who like drama are usually women who are petty with issues.

        I’ve never enjoyed soaps or those kinds of gossip shows.

        A lit of women IMO do get bored. If not then why the need fir game? Why do so many nice guys find themselves out in the cold over the “bad boys”?

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  6. Liza207
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 18:43:59

    The thing is, there are people who will try to say that there must be something wrong with you as a woman if you are attractive and single. You must be crazy or a real bitch on wheels since you don’t have a man. As if, having a man says that you are sane and have it all together. I am quite an emotionally healthy woman and I have my life together. And I did not need a man to get that way. I would love to a meet guy that I can share my life with but it is not the be all and end all for me. And I have no shortage of male admirers so that is not the issue. I just want a healthy happy relationship with someone I can really get into and who is into me.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 18:58:34

      Very true Liza. I just think we’re in weird time where men and women are experiencing changes in the dating and SMP. A lot of people expect old school qualities in the opposite sex but they want to lead a modern non traditional lifestyle.

      I think both men and women need to first be comfortable with being single b/c it gives a person time to focus on improving themselves and their lives as well as figuring out the things they need in a man or woman.

      At our age we have little time or energy for relationship drama, so that means being more aware and conscious of what it is we need to be completely fulfilled. At this point in my life I don’t have time to waste on anything. I need to constantly be moving forward and upward. I can’t be with anyone or around anyone not on that same page. If a person doesn’t enhance your life and if you don’t enhance theirs in some way, it’s just not worth it fir either party.

      That’s where I’m at.

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  7. n/a
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 19:54:16

    Neecy, so smiley, so horny, so gloriously verbose. And so PRACTICLE!

    Sometimes I click into this satin-lined nest and I think: x xxxxx xxxx xx xxxx xxxx xxxx.

    Regarding this post. You old ladies are a lot of work. It’s a good thing you still got it going on.–

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    • Neecy
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 20:05:53

      Ha! Gotta wonder what “xx xxxxxxxx x xxxx xxx” means?

      And us “old ladies” arent a lot of work! In fact we’re pretty easy cause we know what we want. We don’t waste a mans time. At least I don’t. And we’re typically drama free 😉

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    • Neecy
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 21:52:41

      Oh and Mr. N/A you misspelled practical 😉 just thought I’d point that out 😉

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      • n/a
        Dec 27, 2011 @ 22:30:12

        Oh Miss Neecy you’re quite the schoolmarm! You neglect to note that I was quoting the master:

        MEN ARE *typically* PRACTICLE AND SIMPLE – WOMEN ARE *typically* COMPLEX

        Your misspellings are an important part of the immersion in Neecy language that we take a crash-course in every time we read your posts.

        **********

        One thing you need to understand about “drama” is that there are no two things more different than a man’s and a woman’s conception of what constitutes “drama.”

        That is: what you think of as a tiny bit of drama we experience as Hamlet.

        Now, a question I’ve been wanting to ask and forgetting to ask: what’s going on with your various initiatives? weight, sleep, etc.

        Let Dr. N/A in on how these are going. If you feel like it.–

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        • Neecy
          Dec 27, 2011 @ 23:06:28

          Your misspellings are an important part of the immersion in Neecy language that we take a crash-course in every time we read your posts.

          Yes but now I am becomming afraid that I am tainting you all so much with my bad spelling and grammar that you may actually start thinking my incorrect spelling is the correct way of spelling. LOL

          hell, what am i worried about, I’m not so sure half of you even read the entire posts. LOL

          I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will never be able to not be wordy – its just Neecy!!!

          **********

          One thing you need to understand about “drama” is that there are no two things more different than a man’s and a woman’s conception of what constitutes “drama.”

          That is: what you think of as a tiny bit of drama we experience as Hamlet.

          LMAO! Oh whatevs, you fellas see any little tiny bit of a meltdown as a woman having drama. You cannot be so complex without a “tad” bit of drama!

          Maybe I am High-T gal b/c once I sense drama or find myself about to be in the middle of such, I quietly look for the quickest exit.

          I find I quietly withdraw myself from people and/or things that become to dramafied for me. So much so, that eventually they notice I don’t hang with them anymore or I don’t contact them anymore and they reach out to me asking “what’s up”. I did all that stuff in my teens and early 20’s. I’m over it. I like my scales balanced 😉

          Now, a question I’ve been wanting to ask and forgetting to ask: what’s going on with your various initiatives? weight, sleep, etc.

          Sleep is still an issue although getting better. i am still waking up in the middle of the night and I haven’t been able to stay on a consistent schedule for bedtime. i am however going to change my workout schedule to early mornings to see if this helps. I think what happens is I tend to go to the gym late and I cannot go to sleep b/c I have a lot of energy.

          I am also almost at my weight goal (I aint telling you *neiver*) lol – I had some set backs in Nov. with the family issue and stress, but getting back on board.

          But by March i should be there cause that is my bday month and I set my goal for that 😉

          Let Dr. N/A in on how these are going. If you feel like it.–

          Dr. N/A,

          How can you help me get better sleep. that’s what I need desperatley!

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          • n/a
            Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:14:55

            Neecy,

            I can help you with your sleep, but you have to do what I say. I’m being serious. 😉

            I am *expert* on these matters, so, if you want to correct your sleep, please take my advice.

            Go here: http://sunbox.com/

            A lightbox is *the most effective and safest way* to end irregular sleep patterns. Period. You need to buy the SunRay 2 (box most often used in clinical trials) and use it.

            It’s simple: you must wake at the same time every day and spend ~30 minutes in front of this box. You can read, eat breakfast, think about how much you love giving head, whatever. Just sit in front of that box for 30 minutes and the light will re-set your body clock and *entrain* you to a new sleep schedule.

            If you follow this advice (I will make myself available for detailed instructions if and when you get the box), you will sleep *amazingly deep and well.* You will *sleep through the night.* But you must comply with the treatment. You must be disciplined. It may take a few weeks to re-set your bodyclock and smooth your sleep.

            Improved deep sleep will make you magnificently healthy and, indeed, will allow you to lose weight much more easily. A virtuous circle.

            It’s quite possible that your medical insurance will pay for all or part of the box. No matter. It’s worth any price if it restores your sleep and health.

            I want you to do this. Because I like you so much. 😉

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            • Neecy
              Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:21:03

              Alright N/A. I will make it my committment to try the sunbox and do exactly what you say b/c i am becomming miserable with the lack of sleep i have. I think it really does affect my focus. hell maybe I’ll even learn to shorten my posts and become more succint if i am well rested? So you have my word and commitment i will try it.

              You can read, eat breakfast, think about how much you love giving head, whatever.

              Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

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  8. Zorro
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 20:35:49

    “And we’re typically drama free…”

    AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

    Stop! Stop…please! You’re killing me!!!

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    • Neecy
      Dec 27, 2011 @ 20:56:35

      I don’t know what’s so funny! Women past a certain age usually have outgrown the drama stuff. I stopped the drama crap mid college.

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      • Zorro
        Dec 27, 2011 @ 21:21:37

        Then you are truly a rare find!!! My mother is 67 and she is still utterly addicted to drama (soaps, gossip, other people’s business, etc.).

        Seriously. Wow.

        And I think Bob’s gaming you.

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        • Neecy
          Dec 27, 2011 @ 21:36:51

          Lol @ your mom loving drama! How could I forget! Old and young women love them some drama! Lol I think that’s what keeps my grandmother ticking at this juncture ( she’s 85).

          But I gotta admit, it’s cute when young and older/ elderly women like drama. Not so much for middle aged women.

          Like I said, junior high, high school, and college I was quite the drama queen as were most all my buddies, minus one. But maybe I’m anti drama now b/c I had so much of it in my early years. lol

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        • Neecy
          Dec 27, 2011 @ 21:47:14

          Oh and why do you think Bobs gaming me?

          How does a man game a girl who already knows game?

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          • Zorro
            Dec 27, 2011 @ 22:03:27

            Question 1: Call it a hunch. When a man tells a woman to take off her clothes and cook him dinner…I smell game.

            Question 2: Easily. “Knowing” game is not a force field. And I’m not suggesting that you’re falling for old bob’s wily charms. But, seriously, you don’t know game any more than 98% of hetero men know cosmetics and makeup.

            Trolling Roissy on a regular basis does not mean you know game.

            On a slightly unrelated note, my uncle’s girlfriend wants to introduce me to a friend of hers. 56 years old, described as a tiny little thing with big bewbs and a great sense of humor, I am optimistic for romance in the near future. I’ll keep you posted!

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            • Neecy
              Dec 27, 2011 @ 22:27:28

              I don’t think that’s game- I think a man that says that to his woman in a playful manner is keeping things exciting. At least that’s how I see it.

              If in fact bob was gaming I’m sure he won’t be anymore cause he’s suuuuuuper pissed off at moi right now. lol oh well what can one do?

              And “trolling” Roissy? Uhm I never trolled his site! But I hung around long enough to learn the basic concepts of game. Women know most of the time when a guy is hamming them. They just make the conscious choice to play along or not 😉

              And I am sooooo pulling for you and you uncles g/f friend Zorro! That’s awesome and I know youre gonna find your princess cause youre a great guy with alot giing for yourself! Plus i know there really are women out there that age that really look great and have their stuff together. My dad found one and I know u will too – and so will I and Lizabelle!

              Let’s all claim 2012 as our year we will find “the one”. I’m putting it out to the Universe for all of us! 😀

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              • n/a
                Dec 27, 2011 @ 22:35:51

                Yes, sometimes the girls just let us pull their pigtails. But they know what’s up. That’s girl-game.

                I claim 2012 as the year that I find “the one after the other.”

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                • Neecy
                  Dec 27, 2011 @ 23:11:50

                  LOL You are so bad. You need to settle down and find one woman N/A. You’ll be so happy! It has to get tiring banging a bunch of hot beautiful women day after day, night after night. NO?? 🙄 😛

                  i mean you don’t crave that consistent deep love that only one woman can give to you? Is there no emptiness in that lifestyle *AT ALL*? Has to be, has to be.

                  There is nothing like being with a person you know loves you and that you can really experience a deep intimate connection with.

                  I don’t care what you say, i am putting out to the Universe for YOU TOO to find “the one”! And that is my final answer MISTER. 😎

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                  • n/a
                    Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:29:02

                    Neecy,

                    I long ago had the love of my life, Neecy. It was the first and last for both of us. She was from a somewhat more traditional culture, and I forced myself to leave her because I knew I could not marry her. I lived with her for 3 years and there was never a kiss between us that was any less intense than the first.

                    We were lucky to have our love no matter what it cost us in the end.

                    *********

                    My life is mainly a life of the mind, with sharply pleasant excursions into the bodies of women for variety. 🙂

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                    • Neecy
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:35:41

                      Awww well at least you experienced it. But obviously you didn’t enjoy it b/c for you, you have to have variety?

                      I can respect a person that admits to their wants, needs and desires, even if its not PC. As long as everyone knows what they’re getting into, i can’t see the problem.

                      Unfortunatley, a lot of men will string women along and make them think they will marry and committ to them later. They take so much from these poor women and then leave them high and dry. That is so cruel. At least you were ethical and left knowing you couldn’t do it. But at least you tried.

                      So I guess my Universe wish for you is that you don’t meet some crazy along the path that becomes a stalker. LOL

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  9. Neecy
    Dec 27, 2011 @ 23:19:29

    Yall i just made a friggin hilarious discovery. Dude with the paint brush and afro? he has BANGS!!!! 😯

    And not just BANGS, but AFRO BANGS!! 😮

    AHAHHAAAAAA!! I have never seen anyone with an afro have BANGS!!!!!!!!

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

    AHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAH!!!!!!

    On that note, I’m goin to bed. WHEW!

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  10. MK
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 06:36:17

    Great post my favorite yet.

    Helps reinforce again to me why most men should avoid marriage. If keeping a woman involves so much work (as much as meeting new ones) where is the upside for a man?. If comfort and loyalty isn’t in the equation what is the true benefit? After all if a man has this kind of awareness/presence and wants to game to this level he has lots of options, why invest in a declining asset? Relationships need to be about mutual benefit what additional benefit is the woman providing since comfort and unquestioned loyalty are no longer part of the equation as they were in the old days.

    All new relationships are exciting, fresh, and new. Men should not grow totally boring and must keep striving to be their best but for women to expect the same sparks from a long term relationship is not reality.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 07:28:56

      MK I’m glad you enjoyed the post!!!
      MK, I think you are looking at this on the extreme and not realistically. As I pointed out it doesn’t take much for a man to keep a woman excited. Just little things here and there. I made some suggestions and examples and I don’t think those require lots of thought or time. And i also said it also doesn’t have to or need to be done all the time. Men just need to make more of an effort to push the envelope a little when they are in a LTR. So do women. It’s a two way street. If a woman is not keeping her man happy he too will check out.

      The problem is, is that men in general when they get settled have a tendency to get way to comfortable and they stop doing the basics to keep their women happy in LTR’s or marriages. If a man makes a simple conscious effort every once in a while to do something out of the ordinary, that will keep his woman happy. Problem is most men don’t do this.

      MK I know you are anti-marriage and all but I don’t think it’s fair for you to talk it down the way you do. I mean you, after all got the benefit of getting married and having your children within a married courtship. Obviously things didn’t work out, but that is you and your marriage and you cannot look at all marriages as negative b/c of how yours turned out.

      I believe you admitted that YOU in fact didn’t do the things needed to keep your wife happy and she had her own issues as well. But if you had known before hand what things to do maybe your marriage would still be happy and in tact? Were there things you two did not seek to understand about each other before you even tied the knot? There could be so many reasons why a person’s marriage failed. Its not a one size fits all for everyone.

      Like I said its easy for you to say such things about marriage b/c you have your children. What about men who want children and want them to be raised in a married household with a mother and father?

      Maybe there were things in your marriage that could have been worked out? The fact is men and women get married b/c they want CHILDREN. Children are best reared and raised in married households.

      Marriage is not the problem. It’s the two people involved. As I mentioned in the post, too many people jump into LTR’s and marriages and they are not really compatible. That, or they have not worked out the differences and things that were red flags. They believe getting married will fix the red flags automatically and it doesn’t.

      If two people date THE RIGHT WAY and really make an effort to know and communicate what their needs and desires are and make sure during the courtship process that the person CAN and does meet these requirements, then they should marry – especially if they want children.

      Marriage doesn’t have to be bad, if people just spend more time focusing on communicating and understanding the person they are involved with.
      Its too much of a cop out to say “men shouldn’t marry b/c women are too needy”. NO that’s just not acceptable. If you feel this way you will still carry that with you into short and long term relationships and will find yourself bouncing from one to the next with heartache, regret, stress and drama. It’s the PERSON and PEOPLE that needs to make the change not the type of relationship they are in.

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      • Liza207
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 08:13:16

        Neecy, this was an excellent response. I hate listening to others spewing negativity about relationships and marriage. It really gets on my nerves big time. Okay, you got into a marriage/relationship that did not work out for YOU. Men and women are all not the same because there are no absolutes when it comes to human being behavior based on gender (or race, class, and so on) but there are probabilities. We are all individuals who have had different upbringings and experiences that shape who we are as adults and the way we approach relationships.

        I am a child of divorce but within my family there are successful marriages. I have uncles and aunts that have been from since before I was born and they are still going strong. Therefore, I know that marriages can work, if the right people find each other and marry for the right reasons.

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        • MK
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 08:31:23

          I have uncles and aunts that have been from since before I was born and they are still going strong. ”

          You hit the nail on the head right there. Notice your reference before you were born. How has the world and common values changed and what incentives are different now ?

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          • Neecy
            Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:17:51

            MK,

            yes things have changed but the same basic rules still apply. A person needs to make sure who and what they are getting into waaay before they tie the knot. The difference today vs. back then is people today don’t take marriage and committment seriously. Back then you would not marry a person UNLESS both parties were reasonably sure this person had the same values, goals and similarities needed to make a marriage work. Today people just jump into marriage like its a swimming pool. THAT is the problem. Marriage today is a big joke to most people who do not understand the seriousness of it and what it really means. Then when it doesn’t work out, people disparage the act of marriage instead of looking at themselves and thier partner and the things they did NOT do beforehand to make sure this was the best choice for them.

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            • MK
              Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:47:31

              Partly better selection but I would say less of that and more of:
              1. People honoring their commitments even if it wasn’t always “fun”
              2. Less me focused culture, women cared more about raising their children well then focusing on their own pleasure as the primary good
              3. Stigma of divorce so people stayed together

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              • Liza207
                Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:59:24

                I agree with all of this as well and it is pretty much what we have been saying here this morning.

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              • Neecy
                Dec 28, 2011 @ 11:00:56

                I agree MK there are a lot of other variables that caused people to have longer lasting marriages in the past than these days.

                And yes marriages are not all about “fun”. If a person just wants to constantly have “fun” with the opposite sex, they need to stay single and simply go for short term hook up lifestyle and that’s it. LTR’s and marriages are not necessarily “FUN”. So anyone expecting that is in for a rude awakening.

                Its a job like anything else and as with any job the more effort and work you put into it the more rewarding it will be. Also a good rewarding job is usually not an easy job and requires a great deal of discipline and work to keep reaping the benefits.

                The fact is people don’t want to put in the work and effort on their part that it takes to keep a marriage or LTR balanced and going. There will be a time when the initial feelings of lust are not as high and its going to take more effort to keep your partner on their toes and being turned on. b/C its easy to become comfy for both men and women in LTR’s. But just doing small simple things can keep it exciting. Yet people don’t even wanna do that. *shrugs*.

                And don’t get me wrong, some women are desperate to get married for the wrong reasons and they force themselves into marriages they know they will not stay in and it just makes everyone’s lives 9especially their children) miserable b/c of her poor choice.

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        • Neecy
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:13:01

          ^5! Liza! So true. my parents divorced when i was 3 years of age! I should be so anti marriage after seeing that. But for every marriage that ends, there are other examples of great ones. My cousin who just died was married to her husband for 37 years. They were high school sweethearts. And while I cannot say that the marriage was completely perfect and didn’;t have its bumps and rocky times, for the most part they were happy and gave thier kids a stable foundation.

          People always blame the *ACT* of something and not realize its not marriage or LTR’s that are a problem. Its the PEOPLE who make them an issue. in fact marriage and LTR’s can be the most rewarding when the right people are in them. I know quite a few people in LTR’s or marriages that say theywouldn’t change it for the world. And these are not old people. Young people who found that person and friend that they enjoy being with and around.

          My good friend and I were talking about all the fun things we’d do with our husbands if we ever got married. then we started talking about this guy she was dating for over a year last year. He actually wanted to get married and i was mad when she turned him down b/c at that time I didn’t really know what was going on in the relationship until after they broke up. But he was very sexually uptight compared to her and she literally turned down his proposal b/c of this. Once they were driving to Vegas and it was late. She started to go down on him while he was driving and he got pissed off saying how they could go to jail and that she was “out of control” HUH? What man wouldn’t want his woman to surprise him and go down on him? LOL he needs to marry that co worker friend of mine hwo only gives her hubby blow jobs on “special occassions”. LOL

          And this guy had money as well. but she was smart enough to know being with him over the long run would not work b/c he was very uptight.

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          • Liza207
            Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:32:16

            Your friend was smart to dodged that bullet. I could not deal with that for long.. But there are many women who would go for it just because he was well-off–only to cheat on him or seek a divorce soon after marriage. Your friend is a very rare women–she appears to have intregity.

            I know as women we do not have the luxury of time as men do and that is why we have to be more careful to make the right choices early on.

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            • Neecy
              Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:56:23

              You’re right Liza. A lot of women do not have integrity and will marry a guy they *KNOW* they are not in love with or compatible with – especially if he is well off. Then what happens? She cheats on him or divorces him later after th ekids come. SAD.

              My friend is not one of those nad I was so proud of her for not feeling the desperation to just up and marry a guy she knew she wouldn’t be happy with.

              Like i said, any woman that pulls a bait and switch on her husband after they marry, I say the man has EVERY right to divorce or leave her or cheat on her b/c that is soo wrong for a woman to do that.

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              • omerta327
                Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:03:12

                There’s an old joke.

                Why does the bride smile as she walks down the aisle?

                Cuz she knows she’s given her last blow job.

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                • Liza207
                  Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:09:02

                  Ha! I always laugh whenever I hear some version of that joke.

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                • Neecy
                  Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:12:13

                  OMG LMAO!! That is sooooo bad. Look blow jobs are not easy ok. I don’t know if men understand this or not, but they are NOT easy. It hurts out mouths and we feel like we’re going to come down with lockjaw at times. BUT? its just something that comes with the package and women need to just accept it. Men really enjoy this act and therefore it should be something a woman who is in a committed relationship with a man has to really understand that she has to learn to enjoy and do for her b/f or husband on the regular. It is what it is *shrugs*

                  I just don’t think its right or fair for a woman to not give a man who has gone out of his way to make an open committment to her the things that make him happy… Its really selfish and if my co worker brings it up again I’m just going ot tell her (of course in a nice way) how I feel about that.And her hubby is sooooooo nice. I feel bad for him. lol

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                  • Liza207
                    Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:18:03

                    They don’t call it a job for nothing, right?

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                    • Neecy
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:26:53

                      hahahahhaa!! Notice how they put the “blow” in front of “job” to make it seem like it was easy. “all you gotta do is blow” YEAH RIIIIGHT!

                      And where did that word Blow even come from. You don’t “BLOW” anything.

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                    • Liza207
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:29:50

                      LOL! Blow, yeah right. If only that was all that was needed to do the job.

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                    • Neecy
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:43:59

                      I know right! Can you imagine if all you had to do was blow on it how eeeeeasy that’d be??

                      Hmph!

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              • Liza207
                Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:12:27

                I have always said that too–he has every right to cheat. I always feel bad for guys who have to go through that. Some women give other women a bad name.

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                • Neecy
                  Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:35:41

                  YEP. That is the ONLY time I would say it was okay for a man to cheat on his wife. B/C i feel he is somewhat stuck b/c marriages are not easy to just walk away from. If it were just a g/f I wouldn’t say it was okay for him to cheat b/c he can easily end a non marriage relationship.

                  But i feel so bad for men stuck in marriages with women who are not or who suddenly become sexually unavailable. I think that is so cruel for a woman to do that and frankly, if dude needs to find another woman to do it or get a prostie then OH WELL that’s what she gets for not being there for her husband. Of course I am not talking about in cases where there are medical reasons but even then what is a man supposed to do?

                  My g/f said she knew a lady who was married and her hubby had severe diabetes and couldn’t have sex with her b/c when its that bad they can’t get it up. As heartbreaking as this is, you know what he told her? “I understand if you need ot go out and get your sexual needs met. All i ask is that you just continue to be there for me and be a good wife in other ways b/c I understand what you must be going through” OMG how sad is that? But really I think that was really man of him to say that to his wife b/c he knew he can’t sexually please her and that its an important part of a LTR. And guess what? She sticks by him and does everything for him and said she will never leave him.

                  Truth be told, sex is one of the main reasons men married for the longest- to have consistent easy sex from a woman he already was in a relationship with, without having to go out and hunt for it from different women.

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                  • Liza207
                    Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:44:29

                    Neecy, yes, I believe one of the main reason men commit is to get laid on a regular basis. But if he is not careful he will end up with some bait-n-switch b***h, I suspect those women are hard to detect before marriage because they are giving it up like crazy, so the guy thinks he has won the sex lottery–only to find that he has been played. So awful and it always a decent guy, too.

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                    • Neecy
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:52:00

                      Yep its *ALWAYS* a naieve decent guy who gets the shit end of the stick in these cases.

                      But i firmly believe there are signs a man can see with a woman like this. I would think there is *something* that if he looked closely enough would signal to him that she is a fake.

                      but if not, like I said, cheat on her ass, that’ll serve her right for doing that. And i am ANTI CHEATING and ADULTRY. But i don’t know what else a married man would do in a situation like this, outside of having to go through a divorce. And sometimes when kids are involved its just more difficult to just walk away – especially if he adores his kids and wants them under his guardianship.

                      Maybe I’ll do a post on bait n switch? hmmmm

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                    • Liza207
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 11:06:04

                      Okay, that should be interesting. Let them know what they should looking for. LOL!

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                    • MK
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:34:47

                      I also will be interested to read Neecy’s warning signs of a fake bait n switch situation.

                      My guess from observation is that the man simply does not make an issue of it and lets it slide that way thinking he is being a nice guy instead he is writing himself off as passive and furthering the damage. Aka classic beta situation of not demanding/taking what you want and instead expecting it to fall into your lap.

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                    • Neecy
                      Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:37:33

                      Hmmm well i have to put my thinking cap on b/c honestly i don’t really know what those kinds of women do. But i have quite the imagination so i am sure I can come up with something. i’m pretty good and figuring out things like that 😀

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      • Liza207
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 08:25:24

        I thought your suggestions for keeping the intimacy going in a marriage were very good and very doable. There are couples who have date nights to keep the romance going–they make the effort. And yes, men do get extremely comfortable and stop putting in any effort to keep the romance and mystery going.

        We are in this together and we should be looking for ways to keep each other happy and satisfied. Marriage is a compromise – give and take on both ends. It is not about one person getting their needs met.

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        • omerta327
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:09:22

          We are in this together and we should be looking for ways to keep each other happy and satisfied. Marriage is a compromise – give and take on both ends. It is not about one person getting their needs met

          Bang – there it is right there. And not just in marriage, but in any relationship.

          Sadly, most people have their heads too far up their own asses to ever figure this out.

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          • Liza207
            Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:05:12

            Omerta,

            I take it that you have never been married. You appear to be a guy who has been careful in his choices and know what he wants in a relationship–very hawt,by the way (yes I said, hawt). It seems most people do not and that is the problem.

            We need to have a better understanding of what a relationship/marriage actually entails. There may have to be some kind of course people can take or an awareness campaign or something–because it has gotten way beyond ridiculous.

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            • Neecy
              Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:18:37

              Liza I ALWAYS say that there should be MANDATORY marriage counseling sessions before a couple can tie the knot and get a marriage liscense. LOL I know this would never happen but seriously at this rate people need it. It seems people just do not really understand what being in a LTR or marriage truly entails.

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            • omerta327
              Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:22:48

              Nope, never been married.

              I’ve never been anti-marriage, either – my parents have been married 41 years, and I don’t think I’ve ever even seen them fight. But I’ve always been leery of it, mainly because it’s so hard these days to find a woman who’s worth giving that kind of commitment to. That, and I’ve seen the ol’ “bait-and-switch” move happen to others a little too often.

              hawt

              Et tu, Brute? 😉

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        • Neecy
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:42:52

          BINGO LIZA! Too many people go into marriages with a selfish mindset. That its all about them. That mindset is best for a single person who only wants short term hook ups. PERIOD.

          There is no way any kind of relaitonship be it platonic or romatic will ever last with it being one sided.

          Any relationship that is not reciprocating is NOT a relaitonship but someone being used and walked on.

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      • MK
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 08:27:50

        ” It’s a two way street. If a woman is not keeping her man happy he too will check out.”

        If this were the truth it would be more equal but the truth is women have an economic incentive to check out in too many cases whereas the men do not have this same equal luxury.

        “MK I know you are anti-marriage and all but I don’t think it’s fair for you to talk it down the way you do. ”

        Examples?

        I believe you admitted that YOU in fact didn’t do the things needed to keep your wife happy and she had her own issues as well. But if you had known before hand what things to do maybe your marriage would still be happy and in tact? Were there things you two did not seek to understand about each other before you even tied the knot? There could be so many reasons why a person’s marriage failed. Its not a one size fits all for everyone.

        “No one can “keep” anyone else happy. Happiness is an individual choice not something controlled externally. This is where many women get it wrong and do not take personal accountability for their choices/decisions. No one can make YOU unhappy but YOU. My case is unique (or not) since we already had a one year old but the points you and Liza make around compatibility are dead on and also we did not get married for good reasons like common goals.

        Like I said its easy for you to say such things about marriage b/c you have your children. What about men who want children and want them to be raised in a married household with a mother and father?

        “Everyone would like this but when marriage is so easy to exit what is the likelihood that this will be the case anyway”

        If two people date THE RIGHT WAY and really make an effort to know and communicate what their needs and desires are and make sure during the courtship process that the person CAN and does meet these requirements, then they should marry – especially if they want children.

        “Agree with this 100%. Although arranged marriages have a high success rate in other countries so perhaps its more about the values, corrosive culture, and legal system then two individuals.”

        Its too much of a cop out to say “men shouldn’t marry b/c women are too needy”. NO that’s just not acceptable.

        “Thats not the reason I stated the reason I stated is the value proposition is out of whack, too high a risk for to low a reward. The problems aren’t neediness but:
        Distorted legal system (creating incentive for women and disincentive for men)
        Declining cultural/religious values
        Lack of commitment through good times and bad

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        • Neecy
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:36:11

          If this were the truth it would be more equal but the truth is women have an economic incentive to check out in too many cases whereas the men do not have this same equal luxury.

          I understand there are women out there who try to work the marriage system to their benefit. However, I don’t believe most women want to go through all of that just to end up in a divorce. There are still quite a bit of women who lose out in divorces and struggle. I know way too many women who were worse off after their divorces than they were married. So it’s a myth that all women make out economically in a divorce. Try talking to the average single divorced mother in America to see how “well” they made out after their divorces. A lot of divorced single mothers are STRUGGLING. Why people will not admit or acknowledge this and only want to believe that every woman makes out like a bandit in a divorce is beyond me.

          Examples?

          You are CONSTANTLY saying how marriage is a bum deal and how men should avoid it altogether. That is fine if you feel that way, but when it’s coming from a man who has already married and had his children do you think it’s fair to discourage other men from doing it? I mean, I understand your marriage didn’t work, but maybe there were things that you could have avoided (like marrying her in the first place) if you both knew you were not ready or compatible. Like I said nowadays people just up and marry someone and then afterwards they realize the problems or lack of common goals/interests weren’t enough to hold a successful marriage together. All I am saying is be more realistic in your analysis of marriage. The fact is you admitted to lacking in certain areas b/c you said you would teach your son things that your dad didn’t and that had you knew certain things beforehand it would have been different. So just chalk your failed marriage up as a lesson that you had to learn the hard way b/c you weren’t prepared. But to try to discourage men in general from marrying women is not right –e especially when you already have your children from a marriage.

          “No one can “keep” anyone else happy. Happiness is an individual choice not something controlled externally. This is where many women get it wrong and do not take personal accountability for their choices/decisions. No one can make YOU unhappy but YOU. My case is unique (or not) since we already had a one year old but the points you and Liza make around compatibility are dead on and also we did not get married for good reasons like common goals.

          That is not what I meant. I have always maintained that a person needs to find happiness within themselves FIRST before they can seek it anywhere else. That is why i said a lot of people need to remain and be single FIRST and learn to be comfy with that to get to know themselves and just learn to not be codependent on others for happiness.
          But in a marriage YES you are somewhat dependent on the other party to make you happy b/c you have made a vow to be with this person till death do you part.

          The fact you admitted that you didn’t marry for the MAIN REASON people get married “common goals” is proof right there that you should not talk down marriage the way you do and instead focus on telling others to first work on making sure that common goals are key for the both of you before marrying. But how is completely discouraging marriage helping men when you could actually tell them the mistakes you made and how to avoid them. Telling them to never get married is not the answer b/c there are men who desire it – JUTS LIKE YOU DID and who also want children within a married foundation.

          “Everyone would like this but when marriage is so easy to exit what is the likelihood that this will be the case anyway”

          Yes marriage is easy to exit these days, but no one will walk out on a good marriage. The fact is like I have been saying, people constantly marry the wrong persons and found themselves unhappy and they divorce. If you married the right person, you wouldn’t want to go through all that divorce stuff and breaking up a child’s household. I don’t believe women sit around and say “hey Imma get married just so that I can walk out 3 years later, leave my children without a mom and dad in the home and get a whole buncha money”. Come on!

          That’s not the reason I stated the reason I stated is the value proposition is out of whack, too high a risk for too low a reward. The problems aren’t neediness but:
          Distorted legal system (creating incentive for women and disincentive for men)
          Declining cultural/religious values
          Lack of commitment through good times and bad

          I see but the way you often put it is that its solely WOMEN with these issues. There are men who stay married to their wives and cheat and treat them like dirt. Just b/c men are least likely to go for divorce doesn’t mean that they are not part of the problem in marriages. Its just less of an incentive for a man to walk out on a marriage. THAT’s IT.

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          • Liza207
            Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:51:45

            I just wonder when men (and some women)are disparaging marriage and encouraging others not to marry if it is the case of misery seeking company.

            I mean, society does put a lot pressure on us to get married and for good reason. Individuals who are not married by a certain age do have a certain amount stigma attached to them. So, if I can encourage others not to marry I won’t have to have that much stigma attacted to me.

            It is none of anyone’s business whether or not someone chooses to get married.

            And yes, men are less likely to seek a divorce because they just check out and cheat. I see it all of the time.

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            • Neecy
              Dec 28, 2011 @ 10:05:08

              Its true Liza. The only reason so many men complain about marriage is b/c its less of an incentive for them to walk out. This, however, does not mean that they are perfect and its all women who are breaking up “happy” households. The fact is men check out of marriages in different ways than women. A woman is more likely to end the marriage in divorce, while a man is more likely to stay in a failed marraige, but instead have mistresses, cheat, ignore his wife, or mistreat her verbally or phsyically.

              Its all the same. If men got the same incentives for walking out on a marriage they’d be doing it too. They just find other creative ways to fill an ampty void in a marriage (usually cheating or ignoring his wife) than just walking out b/c they don’t wanna lose any assets.

              PERIOD.

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  11. Marellus
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 08:47:23

    This was a good post. A very good post. What’s a Mandingo anyway ??? Is this a new Californian word like “dude” ??? I know that a dingo is an Australian feral dog that has a weakness for sheep. So why did you Yanks go and put “Man” in front of it ?!

    And ummm Neecy, don’t Google the word. You’ll see things that will scare you …

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  12. omerta327
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 08:58:05

    Good post, Neecemeister. Agree on pretty much all points.

    A lot of people say relationships are work – I don’t think that’s necessarily true. It seems to me that the best relationships are the ones where both partners do the little things to keep each other happy and interested w/o really even trying. There’s no work to it, it’s all just in each partners’ natural behavior.

    If you’re lucky enough to find someone you’re that in tune with, things just kind of fall into place.

    UNPREDICTABILITY IS HAWT! (yeah yeah Omerta I know my usage of the word “HAWT” is soooooo unpredictable!)

    Woohoo!!! Blogpost shoutout! I’m officialy a member of the family now! 😉

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    • Neecy
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 09:49:26

      Hey Omerta!

      I like neecimeister!!! 😀

      And yes i don’t think its takes much work in a relationship to make the other person happy if you are willing every now and then to try to surprise them with the things you know that makes them happy or turns them on. As I said it doesn’t have to feel like and job and shouldn’t when you love someone. It should be natural to want to make that person you are with happy and excited sometimes.

      There are simply a lot of selfish and self centered people in society today and its always all about them or they stay in non reciprocating relaitonshjips where they are overly giving too much of themselves and not getting anything in return, only to later find themsleves scorned and burned to the point they denounce all relationships.

      People need to understand the concept of reciprocation thoroughly befor entering into any kinds of committed LTR’s.

      ———————————————————————————————

      You were apart of the family before you even came. its was in the stars and unoiverse! But yes, welcome you are now officially a Neecy Nester 😉

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  13. omerta327
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 11:32:16

    Some women know its difficult for a man to just up and walk away from a marriage…

    Some women?

    Any woman with even the tiniest bit of knowledge of the legal system is well aware of that fact.

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    • omerta327
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 11:42:09

      Notice its often a ongoing joke in the media and stuff about the wife that won’t give it up to the husband. So we have a culture that promotes this as if its no big deal. but it really is.

      THAT is the biggest problem of all.

      For decades now pop culture has made a point of empowering women and de-powering men, trying to make us all into one homogenous populace.

      But that goes against nature, and people are getting wise to it.

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      • Neecy
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 11:57:11

        I agree Omerta. Even as a young girl I remember these jokes and thought it was normal for a wife to do this (suddenly not want to have sex with her husband). So imagine all these young girls growing up seeing this promoted in the media and people just lauging and taking it lightly? But men have been playing along so they take part of the blame in this too..

        but as i go tolder I started to understand this is not normal or okay – especially since marriage (i feel) should be the one time a woman feels ocmpletely free and uninhibited to do sexual things with a man that has openly made a vow of committment to her for hte rest of his life.

        Also, I started to realize that men are more likely (at least in the past when sex wasn’t so readily available to them outside of marriage) to marry and commit for the main reason that he can get sexual needs met regulalry without having to go out and try to get it from random women (which is difficult for the average guy).

        So if a man committs to one woman and cannot get his sexual needs met, then how is that ok or right since this is actually the time sex should be enjoyed and partook of regularly?

        I don’t think its right for women to keep promoting that, b/c all its doing is causing us as women to shoot ourselves in the foot. So now men don’t have to get married to get all the benefits of sex and intimacy as before. Therefore, there is really no major incentive for a man to get married if he feels he can get all his needs met without it.

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        • omerta327
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:25:35

          I was thinking – one sitcom in the last 30 or so years that actually got it right was Bernie Mac (RIP Bernie). He was the MAN of the house, the leader. And his wife, not only was she SMOKING hot, she was smart and strong. She wasn’t subserviant to him, she complimented him. That’s the ideal in my mind.

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          • Neecy
            Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:34:33

            I have to admit. i didn’t watch Bernie Mac b/c he just was annoying to me. I could never get into the show either.

            But you are right, that sounds like a well balanced marriage. Where both parties know their roles and are comfortable in yielding to each other.

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            • omerta327
              Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:37:37

              You really should check it out, Neece. You’d be surprised at how good a show it was.

              I really don’t watch much TV at all, but I always enjoyed that show.

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              • Neecy
                Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:43:00

                nah. I actually tried watching it and I just couldn’t get into it. It seemed like he was always yelling. LOL

                The only sitcoms i’d sit and watch are old schooll ones on Nick at Night and is it TBS that playes all the other old school sitcoms from 70’s and 80’s? There is one other channel that also plays old school sitcoms.

                Either way I too rarely watch TV so….

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          • Liza207
            Dec 29, 2011 @ 07:48:55

            I loved Bernie Mac and I loved the show, too. Yes, I loved the relationship (marriage) between him and his sitcom wife (Kellita Smith with a body to die for) was filled with mutual respect. Their relationship was not like most sitcom couples on at the time where the wife is always putting down her husband or berating him for being a moron or some other shortcoming.

            The relationship may have been modeled after his real life marriage to a black woman; he was married to before he became famous. The woman whom he was with until the day he died. I have a lot of respect for him–he really paid his dues in the business. I was happy for him when he finally made it. I also loved him in the Ocean movies.

            I think mutual respect is very important in a relationship. There are some people who believe that egalitarian relationships do not work because the belief is that there has to be someone who is dominant and someone submissive. I think most couples should reserve the dominant/submissive thing for the bedroom only.

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            • Neecy
              Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:10:08

              Hmmm I do think relationships can have both depending on the personalities and preferences of those in the relationship. Whatever gives a nice balance in an individual relationship is what matters. Some people prefer egalitarian roles for each other and others prefer to fall naturally into submissive/dominant roles. I don’t think either one is bad or good. Its just what works for each individual couple.

              I think too many people (especially women) confuse submissive/dominant with it literally being the extreme case and that’s not it. It can be a subtle submissive and dominant role in which either party prefers to have one that usually takes more of a leader role and one who takes more of a supporter role. I have seen marriages in where the woman was submissive but not in a way that it was overly obvious or where she was losing herself or didn’t have a mind of her own.

              I’m a very strong woman and I have a mind of my own and am also independent. But in relationships of any kind, be them friendships, work, intimate etc., I like to take the role of the more submissive/supporter and will only take lead when I feel its necessary. My personality is not that of a leader and I am completely ok with that. I like being in supportive roles in any kind of relationship I am in. Some women would have a problem with that kind of role in a relationship. This doesn’t mean I am not an equal to my partner or that I don’t compliment him. I just prefer to not be the one in control.

              But submissive and dominant roles don’t have to be the extreme forms that everyone thinks of. Where the woman is literally like a puppet who needs a man to control and tell her what to do and the man is a dictator that runs everything.

              i guess its the preference of the people in the relationship. Some women have a problem with being more of a supporter and that’s fine. That doesn’t mean that a woman who is is weak or not in control of herself or life in a relationship.

              I guess in this day in age where women are very masculine, submissive for a woman can be a woman that is not a ball buster or who seeks to emasculate her man. She is one who is supportive of a good man and doesn’t feel the need to prove she is “in control” for feminism sakes. I think a lot of women in relationships these days feel they have to try very hard and prove that they are in control and they end up emasculating the men in their lives.

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              • Liza207
                Dec 29, 2011 @ 10:05:32

                Yes, these days many women are more interested in controlling the relationship. I think feminism has a lot to do with that. Many women don’t want feel like they are not being modern women, if they let their husbands make most the decisions in the marriage.

                I personally have no desire to fight for dominance it is much easier to share the role, in my opinion.

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                • Neecy
                  Dec 29, 2011 @ 10:16:29

                  I don’t even feel like women feel they don’t want their husbands to make the decisions. in fact, i don’t think its about decions at all. Its really not so cut and dry as people try to make it. I just think its about the fact that some women see being in a more supportive role as weak and giving up her power.

                  i don’t buy into that. If you are in a *HEALTHY* relationship its a given you are an equal regardless if one person is more dominant and the other more submissive/supportive..

                  I believe all relationships always have one person who is leading and the other who is supporting. But that’s just my opinion.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 11:46:46

      I say “some women” b/c honestly not every woman goes into a marriage with a mindset that its all about them, and that they are going to play games with thier husbands or walk away from the marriage.

      I really believe a lot of women dream and desire to be married to the man of their dreams. Actually I believe women desire marriage more than men do. So no, not every woman gets married to make a man’s life miserable to to have it end in divorce for economic reasons. Divorce is very hard on both parties especially if children are involved.

      But yes, there are some selfish women who come from a line of female friends or relatives that tell them all the shitty things they can get away with in a marriage. “just get the ring” is the mindset of some women like this and they feel its free reign to do (or in some cases NOT DO) thier part in a marriage to keep thier husbands happy.

      But most women are not like this. Most women want nothing more tha n to be in a committed relationship with a man they love – FOREVER. It just always doesn’t work that way b/c men do have a tendency to stop trying to please thier wives in emotional ways that she needs to be happy and fulfilled.

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  14. Liza207
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:02:55

    This is off topic. I hope the guys here don’t feel that they have to answer for every white guy but I just have to ask this–since the word Mandingo some how ended up on this thread and I still don’t get why it did.

    I have always found it a bit strange the way white man tend to put down or downplay their sexual prowess in comparison to black men. I cannot count the many times I have heard white men mention how much bigger black men are , while putting down as being smaller. To me, it is like shooting yourselves in the foot for some reason. When I have read many studies that say that there really isn’t that big of a difference or a difference at all–you basically get what you get and race has nothing to do with it. And I personally know it does not.

    I am trying to choose my words carefully here. I just don’t know why white men feel the need to do this. Is it some guilt related thing? I don’t know why it irritates me so much but it does.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:16:40

      I agree Liza. White men shouldn’t downplay their sexual prowness. Although I don’t think they do so much as they are just not sterotypically known to broadcast it as do Black men.

      in fact, there have been scientific studies that have shown White men and Black men are the most similar physically in terms of race than any other racial groups. i can’t remember exactly what study this was but i remember reading it somewhere that actually White men and Black men are very similar in physical nature.

      its true. White men and Black men can gain the same muscle, height and body mass and have similar body types than say an Asian or Mexican or Indian man.

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      • Liza207
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:53:41

        Not only do they downplay but they make fun of their own sexual prowess, constantly. I hear white comics and there are movies and white men I have met who do this all of the time. I just do not get why, that is all.

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        • n/a
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 13:14:16

          Liza,

          A lot of white men have low testosterone from bad diet, no sun, no exercise and constant stress. Esp. stress from feeling obliged to conform. Many white men also make the terrible mistake of thinking that it’s difficult to please a woman, and that they need to “study” how to accomplish this supposedly feat.

          They imagine they require a foot of dick and a tongue that can trace the alphabet backwards on a clitoris.

          When all that’s really needed is a little dirty whispering and then an unstoppable pounding of every fucking hole till I’m done.

          Oh, excuse me.

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    • omerta327
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:12:44

      Hey now. I’m white and I’m hung like a mule. :mrgreen:

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      • Neecy
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:23:15

        aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

        OH.DEAR.GOD. 😯

        I’m so hating on Liza right now. She has all of you on the east coast and I’m stuck here in the west coast with a bunch of weenies!

        UGH 😥

        *running out of thread with a crying fit*.

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      • Liza207
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 20:42:25

        Omerta,

        Now, you should already know that I know there are a lot of white men that are well-endowed–you just really wanted to share that information–look at you bragging. Good to know. 😀

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        • omerta327
          Dec 29, 2011 @ 07:49:53

          Just telling you and Neece whatcha wanna hear. 8)

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        • omerta327
          Dec 29, 2011 @ 11:34:06

          Liza: …you just really wanted to share that information–look at you bragging.

          also Liza: I would love to a meet guy that I can share my life with but it is not the be all and end all for me. And I have no shortage of male admirers so that is not the issue.

          Looks like I’m not the only one bragging.

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          • Liza207
            Dec 29, 2011 @ 11:51:23

            Omerta,

            Haha! I was merely making a point. And the point was…my singleness is a choice and not because there something horribly wrong with me. I did not intend to brag.

            I know you are just busting chops. I get it.

            I hope you were not just saying that because that is what we wanted here. 😉

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            • omerta327
              Dec 29, 2011 @ 13:04:32

              Of course I’m busting chops – that’s what I do. Someone’s gotta keep you ladies in line. 😉

              I hope you were not just saying that because that is what we wanted here.

              Well… let’s just say that I get the job done and done well.

              That’s all you get for now. 😎

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  15. omerta327
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:18:23

    Liza: Yes, Andy is a good actor but he messed up “the Godfather ” franchise for me. “Godfather 3″ sucked

    Meh, Andy garcia did the best he could w/ a lackluster premise and script. That movie never should’ve been made in the first place.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:26:01

      That movie never should’ve been made in the first place.

      Agreed. They were trying to follow classics. You just can’t do that……

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    • Liza207
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 12:48:52

      Yes, the script sucked and Andy was not Italian.

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      • omerta327
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 14:20:45

        Ha! Funny how a discussion on Godfather III can evolve from the word “mandingo”.

        We sure are a wacky bunch around here.

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        • Marellus
          Dec 28, 2011 @ 15:01:24

          It’s simple if you think of it. Woman are stimulated more by erotic words than erotic images. And if you can construct those words in such a way, that it merely hints at her being, or going to be in an erotic scenario, you’re onto a winner …

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    • zorro
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 20:22:43

      Coppola’s daughter ruined that film. She might be a good director, but she’s got the acting ability of a smoked eel.

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      • Neecy
        Dec 28, 2011 @ 22:13:14

        That explains everything. It wasn’t her fathers works. i think she is a good director and I admire her for even trying to do the film, but it just wasn’t somehting that I think she should have attempted after her father’s classic works. I didn’t enjoy the film at all. it was just missing that something the first 2 had.

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        • Liza207
          Dec 29, 2011 @ 06:40:54

          Yeah, that is right. Sophia directed that disaster of a movie. To be honest, I had a hard time watching most of it. I have never watch it in it’s entirety–can do it.

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          • Liza207
            Dec 29, 2011 @ 06:44:35

            Yeah, that is right. Sophia directed that disaster of a movie. To be honest, I had a hard time watching most of it. I have never watch it in it’s entirety–cannot do it.

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            • Marellus
              Dec 29, 2011 @ 10:54:07

              – cannot do it.

              Oh ?!

              – can do it.

              Liza, I want the both of us to waltz butt naked into an encampment of inebriated cannibals having dinner, in a circle, around their fire.

              I want you to turn up the volume on your boombox, so that they may be instructed in the sweet melodies of a Barry White Ballad, while I, your fearless companion, performs a break-dance while approaching their high-and-mighty chief, where he is gnawing on a femur … and muttering about his nose-ring that’s blocking all the snot.

              And then my darling, I shall present him my magnificent posterior, and assume a position which only a doctor should demand money to see, and then you my darling, must hold a flame to said posterior while I SMITE the mighty chief with my fiery flatulence … into meeting his ancestors !!!

              So will you join me in this endeavor ??? From your two comments above I’d say yes (after some reluctance) And as such, I just wanna say thanks in advance …

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              • Liza207
                Dec 29, 2011 @ 12:03:48

                Marellus,

                My, you are quite elaborate and colorful in your writing. However, I will have to pass. That scene is a bit too freaky for me–not too crazy about cannibalism and flatulence. I love Barry White, though.

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              • Marellus
                Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:53:56

                Liza, you should have said this :

                “Marellus, when you’re about to commence your baptism of fire, I’ll alter its course towards the heathen chief’s concubine (sitting next to him). I’ll then play Mozart’s “Dies Irae” on the boombox and just walk out … ”

                Don’t be so serious.

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          • zorro
            Dec 29, 2011 @ 21:40:38

            Sophia directed Lost in Translation with Bill Murray. Francis F Coppola directed Godfather 3…if that’s what you’re talking about.

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            • Neecy
              Dec 29, 2011 @ 21:46:16

              I dunno. All I know is the last godfather was WHACK. I don’t know who acted or directed in it. That is how *memorable* it was to me. lol

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      • Marellus
        Dec 29, 2011 @ 03:08:36

        Maybe Sophia Coppola was a bad actress in that movie. But I will freely admit that at the time, I didn’t see another young actress that had a more intoxicating mixture of bookishness, fragility, femininity, and sheer sexiness than her.

        You’ll remember that Wynona Ryder was at her peak during that time. But no, I wouldn’t have wanted to meet her. I’d rather have met Sophia.

        And I think it’s quite simple : You have to be a gentleman to woo her. And this chivalry must be interspersed with some naughtiness, and lots of silliness. I love being silly.

        She’d reward you by trying to keep her cool, and then you just have to be more silly. And ultimately she’d look at you in exasperation, bite her lips, bend slightly over … and laugh … she’d try stop the laughter then … and she’ll fail … and then the both of you would laugh together … *sigh*

        And whatever else you can say about her, Lost In Translation was a great movie. I’d watch that movie again and again.

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        • Neecy
          Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:25:32

          LOL the movie was so bad that i forgot she even played in it. i don’t even remember her having a role. lol

          I like Sophia and I admire any woman that can direct great films. But sorry hun, leave the Godfather trilogies to POPPA. 😉

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          • Liza207
            Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:47:35

            What the hell was Francis thinking? He guess he really loves his daughter and had to cut her teeth on something. But why Godfather , though? I will say that Lost in Translation was a really good movie.

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            • Neecy
              Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:54:06

              A good loving and doting father would do exactly what Francis did. Even in face of disaterous results.

              Gotta love him for that.

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            • Marellus
              Dec 31, 2011 @ 00:45:26

              When you look at Lost In Translation, it seems that the best Romances are always unintended : Two people that drift towards one another, and for some reason, cannot drift apart then. And there is always a tragedy that stalks them … always. That’s life methinks …

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              • Neecy
                Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:47:04

                Hmm that’s interesting mrellus. I think romance is more linked to lust and feel good feelings that may not always be based in reality. That is why it feels so good. But then people often drift apart when its simply about romance.

                but i think the best relationships are when people are friends and/or get to know each other past their physical attraction to one another. Developing a foundation makes it sooo much easier to build everything else from there (if there is a physical attraction from the beginning). usually those relationships last the longest IMO and have the greatest staying power.

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                • Marellus
                  Dec 31, 2011 @ 11:06:16

                  Omertaaaaa !!!!!!

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                • Liza207
                  Dec 31, 2011 @ 14:07:44

                  Neecy, I agree with all of this.

                  I believe that people have to get beyond the physical. In other words, no matter how attracted you are to someone physically you have to see past their looks in order to find out what is going on with them mentally and emotionally.

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                  • Neecy
                    Dec 31, 2011 @ 14:27:45

                    Sounds good in theory but a lit of people don’t do that – especially men.

                    All of the best happiest and stable relationships and marriages I have seen have all been where the couple actually likes each other a people, enjoying talking and doing things together and are friends. It’s a lot harder to betray or cheat on a person you see as a friend and not just a lover.

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                    • Liza207
                      Dec 31, 2011 @ 14:34:54

                      Yeah, a lot of men do get caught up in the physical and that only. And, you’ve seen the end result of that often enough. I love a good-looking man but he has to have his life together and be emotionally and mentally stable or it is a no-go.

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              • omerta327
                Dec 31, 2011 @ 12:06:36

                Thanks for the shoutout, Marellus.

                … and whatever you write Omerta, don’t forget the Arab Orchestra, with the Israeli Conductor, in the backround !!!!

                Hmm. That’s really more your style than mine. I just gotta be me. 😎

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  16. Neecy
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 17:40:31

    N/A I’m curious as to why you say white men feel pressure to conform. What do you mean? Conforming to feminist standards or something else? I just thought that was interesting what you said.

    I do believe there is a strong effort to keep White men in a box fir obvious reasons but….

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  17. zorro
    Dec 28, 2011 @ 20:20:16

    I have yet to finish your post (like it so far) cause I’m at work, but something occurred to me: in a number of the PUA books I have read (the first was Make Her Chase You by Tynan, who went by the name of Herbal at Project Hollywood, the place that started it all with Mystery) it is routinely stated that a man should plan on doing 3/4 of all the talking, and that storytelling is one of the most important skills a PUA can have.

    I don’t know if women are disposed to being bored, but according to standard PUA orthodoxy, men display their DHVs very well when they can tell an intriguing story. It also enables them to cater to the “Change her mood, not her mind” axiom of making women attracted to you, as stories can engender almost any of the primary emotions.

    Just a thought.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 28, 2011 @ 22:00:21

      Zorro,

      I think they may be onto something. i do think women like suspense and using our imaginaitons. Storytelling is suspensful and it stirs somehting up in us when we hear a good story. This also goes back to I believe women being very complex. Seeing actual visuals of erotics and romance is good but not as tingling as hearing words or seeing words wirttne b/c it allows us to use our minds and imaginations to create our own visuals.

      I think this is why so many romance novels sell out. Now while I have never read romance novels, I can understand their appeal to women.

      OTOH, men being the more practical sex prefer visuals and more direct forms of stimulation.

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  18. omerta327
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 07:54:43

    All this discussion about keeping relationships interesting and sexual prowess reminds me of this song. Thought I’d share it with the class.

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  19. omerta327
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 08:22:00

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Dec 29, 2011 @ 08:46:49

      WTH?! Come on Sinead, you at *least* gotta make it past the 90 day mark. GEEZ!

      Oh well!

      I hope she racked up as much lovin as she could in those 16 days. LOL

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      • Liza207
        Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:19:58

        As I said, Sinead has always been off-the-wall.

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        • Neecy
          Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:23:30

          She just doesn’t seem to be working with a full deck, so i am not sure why anyone would marry her at this juncture. But maybe he was looking for $$$$.

          Either way i guess she says 16 days of marriage is better than 0 days of marriage? LOL

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      • omerta327
        Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:20:43

        The funniest part is, by Irish law, they can’t officially be divorced for four years.

        Bwahahahahahahahaha…

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        • Liza207
          Dec 29, 2011 @ 09:28:13

          I like that in Ireland it isn’t so easy to just divorce your spouse. The Irish definitely have the right idea–Americas have it way to easy here when it comes to dissolving a marriage. That law should be passed here as well.

          And, I think that Irish men are so sexy and charming.

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  20. Liza207
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 08:31:22

    Sinead is a complete mess. LOL!

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  21. OmniOminous
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 11:19:39

    Maybe she dropped him because he insisted she wear a brown paper bag over head during sex.

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  22. Marellus
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 11:44:15

    Just.don’t. make it your *THEME* song

    Neecy, I am going to tie you up. I am going to hire a lot dwarfs suffering from impotence. I am going to tell them to rip off your pants. I am going to tell them to slap your bum until it bounces beautifully. I am going to tell them to rub lots and lots of fragrant glistening oils on it.

    And then my dear Neecy, I am going to tell those poor impotent dwarfs to take photo’s of it. And do you know why Neecy ?

    It’s because I’m gonna upload all those photo’s on the internet.

    And while you’re squirming in your shackles, I’m gonna check for comments on those photo’s. And there HAD BETTER BE COMMENTS my darling.

    I want to see marriage proposals from oil sheikhs, symphonies written by frustrated gay composers, and confusion from innocent and unblemished theology students … on why their underwear is wet.

    Because if that doesn’t happen my dear Neecy, those dwarfs will be on your arse again … and then my dear Neecy … when they take their photo’s for the internet …

    You. Are. Bending. Over …

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  23. n/a
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 20:28:56

    Neecy,

    I notice you’re back on Roissy.–

    Is your intense and unrelenting lust causing you to seek out abuse? 😉

    I still like that picture where it looks like you shd be smoking — photoshop in a cig if you’re too much of a wimp to light one up.

    Happy New Year, kiddo.–

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    • Neecy
      Dec 29, 2011 @ 21:01:22

      Don’t worry N/A I just went to Roissys today and yesterday only. I don’t plan on sticking around there – girl scouts honor. plus I’m just ignoring the loonies and losers like they don’t exist so……

      You’re talking about the pic with the red? I’ll add it to my profile pics juuuus fer you ;)i don’t know how to do Photoshop so I can’t add a ciggie 😦

      Have a safe and happy new year as well! And don’t be too bad 😈

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      • MK
        Dec 30, 2011 @ 08:36:02

        What was everyone’s thoughts on the post with the 3 girls and the ratings roissy gave? I know that was not the topic of conversation and many people disagree with ratings at all (neecy/liza etc..) but I was shocked how high he rated the women in the picture. I thought he was off on the high end by a lot on each one that got me thinking:
        1. Are my physical standards too high?
        2. Notch/Partner count is very much related to quality standards. Even at my drunkest/most horniest I wouldn’t have indulged any of those 3 women pictured.

        It is a personal decision each way so its up to each individual to decide the route they go but to me little game should be needed to attract the women listed I was always envisioning more like model type of women when Roissy posted so that shattered the glass a tad. I don’t consider it game at all if your scoring women that are below your own looks threshold that is just being opportunistic.

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        • Neecy
          Dec 30, 2011 @ 08:57:50

          MK I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Glad you said this! I was thinking the SAME THING! – I was like OMG is he really rating those chicks the way he was? A 7 for the one with her leg in the air? SERIOUSLY?

          I don’t think the one in the middle with the WHite dress was so bad. But she was probably the best looking and he rated her below the chick with her leg in the air.

          It only confirms what Liza and I have been saying – that most of those guys who are saying they are gaming and sexing “hot chicks” who are 8-9’s are really gaming women in the 5-6 range. I cannot believe he rated any of those women above a 5 especially the one with her leg in the air. She had a wide face with a man jaw.

          I don’t know why White men’s ideals of attractiveness are so skewed but I find they are for the most part.

          MK you are right. You can game a lot of women and sex a lot of women if you are talking about women in the 4-6 range. Even 7 women aren’t as easily gamed or obtained b/c 7 women are above average IMO.

          I think he really lost a lot of credibility with that post b/c a lot of the dudes on there were like “WTF?”. But some of them actually agreed with the rating and rated a couple of them in the7 range. 😕

          Its all beginning to come together now. but thank you for saying this b/c I was thinking it – and then the first thing I thought about was what Liza and I were saying a few posts back about who and what those guys are really pulling

          Game is *NOT* about scoring average/below average Beta/Omega chicks who are obviously slutty and loose (like a chick who throws her legs behind her head in a club). Game is about pulling the top notch chicks that START at above average and go up.

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          • Liza207
            Dec 30, 2011 @ 11:22:49

            MK,

            You are right he was way off on the first chick (7.5…please). He must have meant she was a 4.5 and added 3 more points for the side split (which I thought was somewhat awesome).

            “It only confirms what Liza and I have been saying – that most of those guys who are saying they are gaming and sexing “hot chicks” that are 8-9′s are really gaming women in the 5-6 range. I cannot believe he rated any of those women above a five especially the one with her leg in the air. She had a wide face with a man jaw.”

            Yep. We have been saying this from the get-go. Most women are just average in looks so where are all these hot chicks they are gaming. Women who are above average in looks usually have high sense of worth and are much harder to game. Why would any guy waste time gaming those three fuglies?

            I knew a really hot guy that I really liked but he was a man-whore who would fuck any chick that gave him the time of day. I saw the pictures of the women on his social networking site and I was truly disgusted by him. It seems that the less attractive women are– the more available they make themselves sexually. They often have poor self-esteem so they are easier to lay.

            If guys on that blog want to game actual hot/beautiful women they should step their game way up and aim higher.

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            • MK
              Dec 30, 2011 @ 15:08:25

              Yeah that was a big wake up call I think I had been thinking that I would probably not meet my next big thing in a bar and those pics are useful examples as to why.
              Quality varies (from very high to very low) but for anything meaningful I will look to build on something more congruent on values probably the same type of Church I’d ideally attend or shared interests.

              Partner count is a very interesting concept in and of itself. I side over quality vs. count simply because if that is how those girls look when they are trying imagine the next morning I’d be truly hating myself and needing a drink to take an edge off what I DONE DID.

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              • Neecy
                Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:27:34

                MK I am learning something about men.

                It seems you guys get an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame if you sleep with a woman beneath your traditional standards or if you are seen with a woman beneath you in looks. I was reading the “ugly girls as stepping stones thread” and I noticed a pattern. That men will in cases sleep with a woman they may be repulsed by, but once the reality hits them (like the next morning or after the act) they become severly depressed and regretful.

                LOL Why do you guys even DO IT if you’re going to feel that bad afterwards?

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                • MK
                  Dec 31, 2011 @ 15:00:34

                  Interesting question but I can not answer it from personal experience. I’ve not had that happen even the surprise type situation (aka I was super drunk) I didn’t lower my normal standards much if at all.

                  I think its more about if you’d rather do with out or lower the bar and I never lowered the bar so did without more.

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                  • Neecy
                    Dec 31, 2011 @ 16:27:27

                    (Wiping brow)

                    Phew! You make me proud! Lol it’s always good to see guys who have some level of self control and self respect when it comes to who they sleep with.

                    Very high value behavior.

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  24. n/a
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 15:06:03

    I’m not sure that post — or some other recent posts — were from Roissy himself. There’s at least one other guy that blogs there. It’s not the same.–

    That said. I don’t want to be harsh, but the girls posted were an *extremely* doggish crew.

    I should post a “three-set” from Le Bilboquet in NYC before it closes. 😉

    .

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    • MK
      Dec 30, 2011 @ 15:10:05

      Good point I hope that is the Indian outsourced Roissy who thinks any American white chicks are hot. Because if not I got major issue with selection ideals although I still give his concepts the credit they are due. Most of them meet up with my own experience (my own and things I have witnessed via others).

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    • Neecy
      Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:30:10

      Hmm I’d like to see what your version of 7-10 is. Just curious.

      And Roissy or whoever that was that posted, I feel kind shot their credibiltiy somewhat after that post. Now when he describes a “hot babe” I’m going ot picture the girls look like the ones he was raving about in that post. 😮

      Especially after saying that “all men would agree those girls are that rating” and saying to the guys that disagreed that the had “pointy elbows syndrome”.LOL

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  25. omerta327
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 15:49:02

    Just went and checked that post out, and you guys are right. None of those three chicks are doable on first glance.

    The little stretchy one is borderline – that’s about all the endorsement I can give that motley crew.

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  26. Liza207
    Dec 31, 2011 @ 08:39:39

    Here is an article on how to avoid marrying the wrong person (yes, I know it is from a muslim site, but it is still good advice):

    http://muslimvillage.com/2011/10/27/15806/10-ways-to-avoid-marrying-the-wrong-person/

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    • Liza207
      Dec 31, 2011 @ 09:07:20

      Okay, #5 might be a bit much but there are ways to work around that, right?

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    • omerta327
      Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:21:39

      Yeah, #5 just ain’t gonna work in this day and age. You wouldn’t buy a car w/o taking it for a test drive, would you? I know that’s a tacky analogy, but you get the idea.

      Other than that, it’s a pretty solid list. The one I seem to come across all too often is #10. I’ve met lots of girls who are emotionally shut down and unavailable due to insecurities, hang-ups, excess baggage, etc. They’re just fine in a dating scenario, but once they start to really like a guy, they turn tail and run. Can’t deal w/ the emotions. Alcohol and drugs come into play here as well.

      Good find, Liza.

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      • Neecy
        Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:42:56

        O,

        yes there are some really emotionally unavailable PEOPLE out there these days and I believe it stems from them having made bad choices in mates over a long period of time that they become so severly damaged and insecure. Especially women. That is why I am so anti dating and sleeping around with assholes b/c too much of that can cause a woman to distrust the opposite sex and would never know how to handle a healthy man or a healthy relationship when it comes along. They ruin it with theissues you named above.

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      • Liza207
        Dec 31, 2011 @ 13:58:17

        Thanks. Yes, that analogy has always been a bit cheesy to me but it is true for the most part. Sex is also an important very part of marriage and couples should be on the same page there.

        Yes, there are a lot of women who have a hard time committing these days due to unresolved family and childhood issues.

        I think this is the best article I have ever read on what makes a marriage successful. In my opinion, it totally encapsulates what a good marriage entails.

        You appear to be a guy who is pretty secure with himself. I am always wondering what you look like. As I said, I am very visual. So…how about a brief description? 🙂

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        • omerta327
          Dec 31, 2011 @ 15:29:10

          Ha! OK, why not.

          I’m 5′ 9″, 180, good build, shaved head w/ a chin beard.

          I actually get told a lot that I look like this guy – Kevin Youkilis from the Boston Red Sox. Except he has a full goatee, I shave my moustache part off.

          So howz bout you? 😉

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          • Liza207
            Jan 01, 2012 @ 08:13:48

            Okay, not bad. I’m 5’6″ and my body type is that of a Kim K or if you have seen the animated show “Archer” the character Lana Kane’s body type(the big boobs, the really small waist and some junk in the trunk) pretty much nails it. I am a light complected (some would say “high yellow”) my looks are in the avenue of a halle-ish (with short hair), beyonce-ish (with longer hair), so I have been told. I also have big brown eyes and full lips.

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    • Neecy
      Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:40:10

      This is a very good and solid article Liza. I may even make a sticky/page for it. kinda how Roissy has permanent pages like “the 16 comm’s of poon”. i would like to start permanent pages like that. I will put this article up.

      Thanks!

      And I completely agree on all points. Number 5 I just think they are saying you should be weary of physical connections to early or soon before a relationship is established. We all know these days its pretty hard to wait until marriage to have sex with your S.O. If I am feeling someone and we are in a relationship, there’s no way i can wait until marriage. part of me *feeling someone* is showing and giving them my physical self b/c it not only makes me feel good physically and emotionally, but it makes them feel good too. And you want to make your partner feel good in every way so…

      . But my philosophy is, that people don’t need to wait until marriage, just until they know that this is a person they can connect with on more than a physical level and that its a person THAT IS WORTHY of you giving your phsycial self to and they are willing to be in a monogamous relatonship with.

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      • omerta327
        Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:48:15

        If I am feeling someone and we are in a relationship, there’s no way i can wait until marriage.

        YOU can’t wait for sex? Nawwwww!!! 😉

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        • Neecy
          Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:52:58

          LOL

          Uhm EXSQUEEZE Me but uh, I have been *WAITING* for sex and for quite a damn long time now!!! That is why I am always so damn horny. I’m tired of waiting gosh darnit. 2012 no more holding out, i can’t take it anymore.

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      • Liza207
        Dec 31, 2011 @ 14:12:16

        Neecy, you’re welcome. Good idea, creating a separate page. Many people need to read that article before deciding to get married.

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    • MK
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 14:31:44

      Real good link you provided there.

      #4 would have been my biggest awakening to have known ahead of time that we did not want the same things out of life and were on different life plans.

      Like

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