No, don’t be scurred! My ADD is not kicking in right now and I am not making any changes to my blog, blog name, blog address, blog theme, etc. lol

Ok so this post is so totally cliché and typical for New Year’s, but its just tradition. Gotta do a self-improvement post cause, its just gotta be done on the first day of the New Year. I’m certain I won’t be saying or telling any of you anything you haven’t heard a billion times before, but it just feels good sometimes to actually write these things out and express it in one’s own individual way. So just suck it up and take what you can from it m’kay? Thanks!!  😉


 This is a wonderful concept that I think we all could benefit from each New Year.  I was in church this weekend and the preacher brought this up and I thought it could really apply to love and life and relationships with all of us in the next year.

 Its really about stepping up and out of your comfort zone and doing something you didn’t think was possible. Stepping into a new territory…


 This should be a motto of almost anyone who has a fear of rejection or  fear of seeing themselves as a complete or whole person. It should be the motto for those who fear pursuing something that they want but fear they cannot get.


I have been guilty at times of this but I am finding each day I am moving further and further away from this mindset. Its baby steps for me (in some areas)  and that works just fine b/c sometimes we gotta crawl before we walk.

 If you are a man that has feared rejection for the longest, and that fear has caused you to steer away from assertively pursuing  things you have been or are interested in, why not take this year as a way to move beyond that fear and just go for it?  Look within yourself and ask what is really at stake here – is it something as simple as a “no” from one lone human being in a world of billions or is what at stake losing your life, health, family (the more important things)?

 I’m thinking more the former which is NOTHING! In sales many of the best sales representatives who do the best and make the most money understand that closed doors come more often than they open.  If you stop at the first few prospects who say “no” then you can never get to that lucrative place in your position or career  b/c it requires many closed doors before open ones. With closed doors also comes experience. The more experience, the better and more prepared you are when the opportunity does present itself in your favor.

 The saying goes “if it were easy we’d all be doing it”. With closed doors you either build character and improve your approach to get in the door or you  hopelessly give up and take it as a personal downfall that cannot be improved b/c its just “you” and “you” cannot ever get anywhere or improve your chances at success.

 If you are a woman that has felt insecure or has doubted yourself in any way b/c you felt you didn’t or don’t measure up, why not take this new year and opportunity to try a different approach to how you see yourself and  the fear that causes you to feel you are not worthy as a woman or person for superficial reasons?

 If you have issues that stem from how others have mistreated you over the years or family/past relationship issues that have caused you heartache and an inability to love or trust someone, why not try for one year to let those things go, forgive, let go of the grudges and see if your life, your self-esteem, and your potential increase as a result.


 I have learned to let go of holding grudges. Sometimes I may find myself going to that place of “eff them b/c they did x,y,z to me”  but I am glad that I am the kind of person who eventually learns to let go of that. You don’t have to be a pushover to let go of grudges. I find once I let go of a grudge and understand that persons “deed” that caused me hurt or pain, its really about them more so than me. A lot of times its our pride that causes us to feel that we cannot let go of things or people who have hurt us or seek to demean us.

Usually when you let go and learn to look within and ask yourself what the issue really is that allows you to become so affected by another person’s views, ideas, perceptions of you, its really not about them its about YOU and deep down if you actually buy into what they say or believe about you or whatever it is. Of course a person who seeks to demean or make you feel less than, its also about them as well in the sense that for many people the way to cope with their own deficiencies, they have to  drag others down to overlook what it is they themselves are lacking.

 Either way, once you find you let go of a grudge, you feel like a hostage that has finally been set free. Its  like this heavy burden has been uplifted off of you and placed back on the person doing the demeaning. Let them deal with the burden, not you.



 The last concept that is really important for me to say is, I have to learn that sometimes what we think or want for ourselves may not necessarily be in God’s or the Universe’s plan for us at that time or sometimes AT ALL. We often at times become stuck on our own flesh’s desires or what we think we need and want for ourselves when ultimately  its not what is meant to be.

Sometimes you have to let go and understand that while it may seem like you are losing out, more patience and faith will ultimately show you that you will get yours in due time. Maybe not the time YOU wish for it to be or the time YOU believe you are ready for it, but it will come when the stars align and God says its right. And that is the BEST time b/c when the stars and universe and God are working in your favor to fulfill your desires, its ALWAYS going to be the best set up for you and what you want.

 Sometimes we just have to  sit still and listen to the universes or God’s  voice. Often times we are too busy listening to the voices in our own heads telling us things that may or may not be moving us to a better place.

 So try this year to be still and quiet your thoughts and let silence allow a clearer picture than what you have normally done in the past. I plan on trying this myself  – we’ll see what happens!

 I hope this post possibly inspired *somebody* if not just myself. (lol)


49 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MW
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 02:01:15

    Happy New Year, Neecy! It’s been a while since I’ve rolled by. It took some time to sift through all your posts. Sorry to hear about your cousin. Best wishes for 2012.



  2. Marellus
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 04:56:11

    Good one Neecy. Happy New Year !!! (and yes, I made it back safe … got two speeding tickets though … )



  3. MK
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 09:02:39

    My major 2012 change is going to be to dress more stylish. I am detailing out a big wardrobe upgrade and plan to go suited up to work and out more often.



    • Neecy
      Jan 02, 2012 @ 09:50:47

      MK that is an awesome new years goal! I think it will definitley set you apart from the average Joe out there.

      Its funny you said that b/c I also said that this year was going to be my year for “beauty”. I am going to really focus on my skincare regime, hair and other things to get it at its best and highest potential.



      • Zorro
        Jan 03, 2012 @ 13:15:47

        I’m migrating from the Atkins Diet to the Paleo Diet. It’s still low-carb, but there’s a lot more room for veggies.

        Quit smoking, too.

        Now if I can just stop jerking off like a mad Irishman, I might get my life together!



  4. Liza207
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 11:10:30

    Neecy, you are coming quite the blogger–very inspiring words to kick the new year off right.

    Yes, there are those that need to let go of their baggage and move forward. I don’t get what some individuals get out of hanging on to grudges. As I, see it, all grudges do is just eat you up from the inside out.

    I have had to learn over the years to forgive a lot of transgression against by others from the past, so that I could move on and be happy with my life.

    I think day in and day out of being angry about what happened to you in the past is pure insanity because it already took place and you can’t change it now, so you need to get over it and absolve yourself of it.

    No normal healthy individual wants to deal with other people’s baggage–they don’t.



    • Neecy
      Jan 02, 2012 @ 12:55:03

      So true Liza. A lot of people Use their bad childhood or childhood issues as a crutch later in life. Especially if they had bad parents they seem to hold onto that stuff and it’s like get over it! Especially when they are living good lives as adults. Once you become an adult it is up to you to make yourself happy and complete.



  5. Firepower
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 13:06:46

    neeecy and leza are such adorably cute grls, so naturally I’m pulling for them to realize their nye resolutions to, get back on the Horse and get sex at least once this year




  6. omerta327
    Jan 02, 2012 @ 15:18:16

    Good post Neece. But with one glaring exception.

    Sorry, but I just don’t buy into the whole “God’s plan” thing. There are just too many bad things happening to good people in this world that they don’t bring upon themselves.

    Just the week or two before Christmas in NYC, you’ve got one old woman being burned to death by some psycho, and another woman being crushed to death by a faulty elevator. That’s just off the top of my head. Here are the links.

    Is that all part of God’s plan?

    What about little kids who get and die of cancer or other diseases? Is that part of God’s plan?

    I believe in God, but I don’t think of him as some heavenly being who’s watching over us all. There are 7 billion people walking this planet now. Does God have a plan for all of us? I find that extremely hard to believe. Maybe God has a plan for a select few of us, but the rest? We’re left to fend for ourselves.

    The universe is hostile,
    So impersonal,
    Devour to survive,
    So it is, so it’s always been…

    -Tool, “Vicarious”

    Don’t mean to be a downer, but it needed to be said.



    • Zorro
      Jan 02, 2012 @ 20:06:57

      I saw that bit about the psycho who soaked a woman with gasoline and then lit her afire.

      There isn’t a hell dark enough for him, in my opinion. I have no doubt the NYC cops will make sure his prison cellmate has a dick itch that can’t be scratched enough.



      • omerta327
        Jan 03, 2012 @ 07:07:27

        From your lips to God’s ears…



      • Neecy
        Jan 04, 2012 @ 07:40:23

        We are living in a time with people who are so mentally fuked and ill its not even funny. There are so many sick and mentally screwed up people more today than ever. It truly takes a sick mofo to do something like that.

        He’ll get his, in the flesh and in hell too.



    • Neecy
      Jan 04, 2012 @ 07:21:43

      Yes Omerta i do believe God has a plan for each and every human being on earth. I also believe that for those who truly seek to find that plan through acknowledging him in thier lives will get to that plan if they stay on course and listen to what he is trying to say to them through many different things.

      Whether we as individuals do what we need to do to complete that plan for our lives is really up to us. And this is where free will comes in. Some people manage to really follow God’s plan for their lives while many others get caught up in life and don’t seek to fulfill what it is that was meant for them to be.

      I am certainly not a religious person nor do I make people feel bad for spiritual beliefs that do not revolve around God or religion. But as an individual I do believe in God or a higher power even in face of all the crap that is going on in the world today. Everyone draws their inspiration and spirituality from many different places or things. Me, I cannot say that I am a particular religion b/c I go with anything that discusses higher power which I believe in. There are just so many things in my life that I have prayed for that have come to life for me. So I do feel I have a higher power that looks out for me even in face of going through things.

      Also, look at how religious or spiritual many Black Americans are. Blacks in this country suffered greatly during slavery but still managed to hold onto the belief in a higher power through the very religion of the people who caused them suffering. So even in face of the suffering, Blacks still very much believe in God. Many Black people could easily say that there is no God b/c of all the suffering our ancestors went through with slavery but they don’t b/c they believe that in life and on earth where humans have free will, there will be pain, suffering and evil. When God created human being, he created us imperfect for a reason. And that is to get the satisfaction from those who even in spite of free will and temptations in the world to do evil, manage to uphold his prinicples as much as possible and also manage to recognize and openly seek him as a higher power in their lives.

      I can see where you and others who don’t necessarily believe in God are coming from when you see the crazy things that happen to innocent or good people. I know you may not believe in God or Jesus, but in Christianity and Catholicism, we understand that God never promised life without suffering or that there would not be evil or insane people who will hurt innocent others. If you want to see a bunch of innocent or good people suffering at the hands of evil persons, read the Bible. Even the most religious people have suffering and pain in their lives. So just b/c one believes in God and follows Christian/Catholic principles doesn’t mean they are free from going through hurt, suffering or pain either.

      But this world cannot be an imperfect world. God in my belief gave every human being free will. This is where laws come from that punish people for committing crimes or certain things that hurt others. Crimes which ultimately are a foundation of the principles in the bible (i.e. murder etc.)

      People like the jerk off who set an innocent woman ablaze do suffer for their acts. We may not ever get to see it but they do suffer. And the fact that people are punished on earth for crimes from other humans is also a way in which God allows humans to police themselves according to his principles.

      When people ask if there was a God, then why do people suffer I just say that Jesus suffered as well and he was the “son of God”. Look at how he was treated by people and ultimatley how he was killed. Whether these stories are real or not, I think it lends credence to the fact that God never promised life without suffering – not even to those who believe in him and follow his principles as much as possible.



  7. Neecy
    Jan 03, 2012 @ 09:49:16

    :sigh: sitting in urgent care right now with REALLY BAD hives. 2 hrs away from home 😦 this sucks….



  8. Neecy
    Jan 03, 2012 @ 10:59:43

    I dunno I just got it this morning when I woke up. I havent eaten anything and I’ve never had a rash or allergic reaction to anything ever before



  9. Neecy
    Jan 03, 2012 @ 11:10:51

    Yeah it’s not a good feeling. But it’s actually stopped and I’m heading back home to see my regular doctor.

    I want to respond to the god thing but won’t be able to until later



  10. n/a
    Jan 03, 2012 @ 13:08:55


    That’s terrible! Do you take any medications? Have you used any new beauty products, etc.?

    Please be careful if they put you on prednisone.–

    And please keep us informed!



    • Neecy
      Jan 03, 2012 @ 20:44:03

      So my doc says it was a one time thing that happened to me and was most likley the result of some kind of irritation to something. But my dad and a friend has had hive break outs before and they say its stress that can cause hive breakouts.

      I’m just glad it went away on its own and it only lasted about an hour before it just went away.

      Very scarey though for sure.

      Thank you for your concern!!! 🙂



      • zorro
        Jan 04, 2012 @ 20:53:54

        “So my doc says it was… most likley the result of some kind of irritation to something.”

        I’m guessing you recently spent some time at That usually sets you off.



  11. liza207
    Jan 04, 2012 @ 09:40:44

    Oh, look at you two discussing religion (the lightening-rod topic of all lightening-rod topics) that is definitely a topic best avoided if you do not want all of hell to break loose.

    I am swamped at work and busy with another personal project. I have a desk of piled with work I should have completed three weeks ago. My cubicle looks like a bomb went off in it–documents everywhere. Therefore, I cannot hang out for a couple of days but you guys have fun.



  12. MK
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 07:59:44

    I am starting to look more like your icon now that I am taking the P90x seriously. I’ll be ready to assume status as your new icon in 90 short days…



  13. liza207
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:15:33

    No, I don’t really watch informercials but I am guessing that it is probably some fad diet or some fly-by-night piece of exercise equipment.



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