GOTCHA!!!!!!

 Noooooo!! You fools! You guys are sooo darn gullible and easy to trick!

We’re talking the ole’ Bait n Switch done in relationships. You know those sneaky g/f’s and b/f’s who appear to be sent from heaven above? The ones that clean the crust off and from inside your toes, pick the lovely pimples off your face, eat your boogies when they are hungry, lick your scabs and wounds, bathe you, feed you, do everything sexually that you desire? And then……THEY STOP.

But whatever do you mean “THEY STOP” Neecy? (there I go talking to meself in the third person again and ANSWERING myself – oh wells)

Uhm so. Yes. I mean that they turn from the pleasant Dr. Jekyll to Mr. or Mrs. Hyde once you have completely invested in the relationship somehow either through making a long-term commitment or marriage. Once the marriage ink dries on the certificate or once you have moved in with them and signed a sub-lease agreement and introduced them to the fam and friends and co-workers as “the one” and the “love of your life” they suddenly become the crazies you never knew, the bitch or asshole on wheels, the sexless mummy who wears mummy couture wrap to bed, the man that went from being a 5 hour stallion in the bed to a 1 minute zombie who only wants to have sex in the missionary for 60 seconds, the chef that went from cooking you yummy elaborate meals every night to whipping up weight watchers frozen dinners in the micro…. the list goes on.

Why do people do this? It’s done quite a bit – especially in marriages. From both men and women. When it’s easy to break free from any relationship with no strings attached, you’ll find there are those who will keep a facade up to get you into some kind of Long-term commitment or marriage or to get sex from you. And then once you become so invested (be it LTR or marriage) you find it’s not so easy to just simply walk away, they start showing their true colors – and usually those colors are not the happy colors in the crayon box.

Of course I am not talking all relationships here, but I feel there needs to be a focus on the kinds of people who do these things and possible ways to identify them. While I have no crystal ball nor am I a mind reader, I would guess there are signs that would appear throughout the relationship before making a final commitment to someone without realizing you are being played. What are some examples of what I am talking about?

POSSIBLE SIGNS OF A BAIT-N-SWITCHER?

ONE OBVOUSLY TRYING TOO TOO HARD TO IGNITE YOUR MALE/FEMALE FEEL GOOD TRIGGERS

I dunno. But I would think the best way to avoid such people would be to always be observant. To make sure that the person you chose is truly at one with your common interest, goals in life. That you share the same level of excitement for most things. I think a SMART man or SMART woman with observing skills knows when a woman or man is “faking it” and pretending to be interested in something he or she loves when they really aren’t.

For men dealing with women. Usually she will try too hard to “prove” something, and she plays along to win him over by trying to ignite his feel good male triggers.

Example:

There is a huge difference in a woman that says:

“oooooh yeeeeeah! I love me some football and all kinds of sports. I watch them all the time baby! Football is amazingly great and fun to watch”

“Heck yeah I loooooooooooooooooooove giving blow jobs! In fact I was in the blow job marathon for years before I met you b/c I do it and love it soooooooooooooooooooooooo much! In fact, I’m so desperate to give you one, I want to give you one right now here in the frozen food isle babe! *wink*”

Neecy says? TRYING too hard. Going overboard. Usually a sure sign of a phoney.

VS. A woman who says:

“hey babe UGH I really hate football and I don’t really get into sports all that much, but b/c you love it, I’ll watch it with you and maybe learn about it more b/c maybe then I would enjoy it”

Or

“Ok babe you know how much blow jobs hurts my jaws and mouth but dammit I know you love it so I’m definitely game. I’ll suck it up (hehe s’cuse the pun) and do it for my BOO whenever he wants it *smile*”

See the difference? Woman numero uno is trying too damn hard to ignite the happy feel good “she’s a keeper” triggers in her man vs. woman Numero Dos who admits she may not fully be on board but is making exceptions b/c she loves or really likes her man enough to do the things or participate in the things he enjoys.

Woman number 1 deep down she knows nothing about sports, football and really has never had any interest, but she is saying this to sound good and ignite your male triggers to make her favorable in your eyes. Woman 2 is a woman that is not trying too hard to ignite his male triggers. She is being honest but she is also saying b/c she likes or loves him she’s willing to sit through the things he enjoys to be supportive and/or to give it a chance.

I have known a LOT of women who play these silly “trigger” games to win men over knowing deep down the truth eventually comes out – usually after a major argument in which she will blast out “I hate football and I only said I liked it b/c I thought it would make you happy!” or some other absurd reason.

Sometimes its much too late b/c the guy fell for this and made a total investment in the woman/relationship to the point he may have children with her now or married her etc.

For women a man may say or do certain obvious things to win a woman over sexually:

“Damn you look hot in that potato sack and the fact that you didn’t comb your hair and brush your teeth makes you even more sexier baby! There is nothing like an au’ natural woman who is low maintenance. BTW did you pack on 30 lbs.? YEAH? WOW! You look the best I have ever seen you honey! I really don’t like women who try to look good all the time. I like the fact that you look and smell like shit and don’t try. SOOOO DAMN SEXY! More women need to do what you do”

VS a man that says:

“Ok. I’m all for you being natural and not looking like you just packed on the whole make up counter on your face, but babe, I’m not feeling that look you’ve got going there. I like when you dress down at times, but when you wear a potato sack and don’t comb your hair or brush your teeth and gain 30lbs in one month, you’re telling me that you don’t take pride in yourself. And if you don’t take pride in yourself or appearance it just sends a bad message. Is something wrong? How can I help you work through whatever it is you’re going through?”

See the difference? Dood number 1 is trying tooo damn hard to keep the woman in his good graces by LYING his arse off. A lot of men will do this. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Its one thing to be supportive of your g/f or wife, but its one think to be a lying suck up just to stay in her good graces. Dood 2 is still gentle and loving but is being honest about what he likes or doesn’t like – he even reached out to help support her in case she is going through something that would make her not care about her appearance.

So in my eyes, a sure sign to watch out for is a man or woman trying too hard to push those feel good triggers that they know would win over the opposite sex. Usually they are doing this b/c they are aware that doing so may get them to their intended destination enough to pull out once they have received what they wanted – for women its usually commitments and for men its usually sex.

THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE HAS BEEN SIGNED, SEALED AND DELIVERED.

YOU NO LONGER TRY TO LOOK LIKE THIS

AND SETTLE FOR LOOKING LIKE THIS

 

 I can remember even as a small child television shows, commercials, etc., that promoted this idea that it was perfectly normal for married women to have no interest in being sexually appealing or sexually available to their husbands, and perfectly normal for husbands to accept this as normal and even make jokes about it.

The going joke was/is and has always been in Western culture and pop culture that the husband has to beg, plead and get on his wife’s “good side” just to get some lovin or affection. The wife, has to “be in the mood” (something that is rare) and when she does do it, it’s like some task or chore. The wife also becomes the unsexy version of her former self before the marriage or Long-term commitment. Suddenly she feels she no longer has to do the things that she did to get her man, to keep him since he has already invested in some fashion. NOT COOL ladies!

WHY? Well first b/c it creates a counter joke in the masses that says women after marrying become unsexy and sexually unappealing to their husbands who always dream of boffing some chick outside his marriage b/c being a “wife” automatically makes you unsexy and no longer sexually available as you were before hand. Not true, but it does create this mindset. And suddenly men see a wife or the image of a wife as nothing great.

Also, another reason is B/C this sets marriage up as something that is more of a contract than a relationship of two people who love each other and want to make each other as happy as they possibly can within the relationship. When young men and women grow up seeing this kind of cultural acceptance of how marriages work when it comes to intimacy and relations, they become brainwashed and believe it’s normal.

Some may be saying, “well Neecy worry about yourself and the type of g/f or wife you would be and stay out of others business. And why do you care anyway!” I care as a single woman who wants either a long-term committed relationship or marriage one day that when women do these bait-n-switch things, it makes it much harder for the rest of us to find men who believe they will benefit in a marriage or LTR. The images of “wives” becomes an image less of a positive appealing image for men (who DO THE ASKING and COMITTING) and more of a disgusting caricature of what happens to a woman when she marries.

Women (and some men) today think it’s normal to go from being the g/f he loved to the wife he regrets marrying and committing to. Many people just have this belief that it’s “par for the course” when it comes to marriages, and that is why so many divorces are at an all-time high in western society today. Neecy is here to tell you – IT’S NOT NORMAL.

You should be happy to want to look and be pleasing for a man that has made a commitment in a society today where men don’t have to anymore to get laid or have FWB relationships regularly.

YOU ARE NOW SAFE TO MOVE ABOUT THE CABIN SWING FROM THE CHANDELIER!

*WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!*

Ladies, if a man in this day and age makes an open commitment to you in a monogamous long-term or marriage it is your DUTY to be sexually available to him. Now I am not talking about the loonies who expect and want sex 25/8 and who don’t allow you to go out or come up for air. The ones who only see you as a piece of meat there to fulfill his sexual desires and nothing more. The ones who just think you are a sex machine.

I’m talking the normal men who simply expect intimacy in….wait for it…. REASONABLE INTERVALS (you should know this Neecy Nest concept by now). What a lot of women don’t realize is, a lot of men will commit in relationships SIMPLY to have a person they can count on for consistent intimacy without having to go out and hunt for it from different women all the time. There is a comfort for many males in knowing they have a g/f or wife whom they can depend on for their release and intimacy needs.

Basically what I am saying is – the greatest incentive in men’s minds to commit in a monogamous LTR is to have a consistent form of release from a woman they know and love. Although, these days that mindset is changing due to the numbers of women who give away their milk for free without him having to buy the cow.

But, there’s nothing wrong with this mindset at all and frankly, I think it’s a pretty smart way of seeing things – especially if you are a man that is not interested in “hunting” for sex regularly from different women. Some men have ZERO interest in trying to get sex from different women b/c (1) it aint easy and (2) it requires a lot of technique and gaming to get anywhere these days with halfway decent looking women. Part of what makes monogamous relationships incentives for the two people involved is being able to partake in intimacy without having to worry about getting it from strangers or people you don’t trust or who are not worthy of your affections.

You have one other person you know and love and want to share such an experience with to (1) make them feel good (2) to make yourself feel good. Why wouldn’t you want to be sexually available to a person that has openly said to the world, their families, friends and such that they respect and love you enough to commit to you in a monogamous relationship and share their last name with you? If you are not physically attracted to your b/f or husband why would you allow yourself to enter into a long-term commitment with a man you don’t want to please or show some kind of affection to regularly?

WOMEN BATING   HEY THERE STUD!   AND SWITCHING     HEY THERE SUCKER!   :

I don’t get it. Never have. This coming from someone who is a staunch monogamous that believes that a woman should hold out and have all the great fun inhibited buck wild sex with a man she is in a committed monogamous relationship with. That the men in this day and age who commit – despite the sea of fish swimming with open legs and mouths with barely a ‘hello’ should be shown the utmost appreciation for making an open commitment to a woman he loves.

The best way to show this appreciation is by being sexually available to him and also for yourself as a woman who is also in need of some lovin regularly from a man you love, trust and are attached to and who has made a commitment that you and he are one. Why women these days would rather do all kinds of sexually uninhibited stuff with men who wouldn’t even allow them on his doorstep, let alone make a commitment to her is beyond me. Even in my younger years and teen years I never understood it.

I was always told that you should never reward a man with your body unless he has shown and proven to be sincerely interested in you enough to make an open commitment to you in a monogamous relationship. Other than that, the rest can keep it moving. Women who suddenly marry and then lose interest in staying sexy for their man or even being sexually available to their husbands and the men who have openly made a commitment to them, are crooks IMO. If these women did the same things before the marriage and their husbands still married them, then that’s a different story. But in most cases what some women will do is be that perfect AGREEABLE g/f who does everything for her man to that wife that suddenly stops doing it or is only sexually available on “special occasions”. NOT RIGHT.

I have had an acquaintance openly admit to me that she only gives her husband oral sex on special occasions like – his BDAY, Valentine’s Day, New year’s. etc. HUH? Then when I asked if she did this while they were dating she said “No I did it all the time, but it’s just different when you are dating”. Uhm okaayyys!! 😕 Yes this is a huge problem in many marriages today. A lot of people these days view marriage as a way to trap someone or to simply get their needs met while the other person is left with the brown bag fending for themselves.

MEN WHO BAIT  I AM..A STALLION    AND SWITCH  I AM...NOT A STALLION

Ok fellas, some of your brethren partake in the bait-n-switch wars as well. A lot of guys will put up a facade as the kind, caring perfect gentleman who is so chivalric that a woman starts believing he’s too good to be true. Or he presents himself as this exciting guy that turns you on all the time and then after settling down he doesn’t pay you attention anymore and stops doing all the things that excited and got you in the first place. he may even stop taking stock in his appearance as well.

A lot of men play this game to get in good with a woman. Unlike women who usually will play these BNS games to get a man in a committed relationship, usually men will play these bait-n-switch games more so to get sex from the woman or some other kind of resource from the woman as opposed to trying to get her in a long-term commitment or marriage.

People are aware of what triggers the opposite sex and makes them want to give into the other persons desires. So they play games and “pretend” to be one way to get what they want, and then switch It up once they are in. Men know the triggers that get women all wet, warm and fuzzy on the insides – COMITMENT. A woman who likes a man wants to be in a committed relationship with him. For a woman, a man that has committed to her or shows promise of such, she feels special in some way b/c he chose her. A lot of men know this and play games and/or string hopeful women along by playing the kind guy who will eventually commit to her or he treats her really good in the beginning. So the woman gives herself to him sexually (b/c this is what drives a lot of men in the initial stages of getting to know a woman he is attracted to) and after she does he suddenly changes and becomes this jerk or butthead b/c now he has got what he wanted from her.

BAIT-N-SWITCH….. NEECYS SAYS: ITS OKAY TO CHEAT AND/OR THROW UP YOUR DEUCES WHEN APPLICABLE

“RUT ROH!!! NEECY IS PROMOTING CHEATING??????”

Look. Cheating is shitty and is never a good thing and I don’t condone it. But certain circumstances would warrant it more than most others. Like when a man has married a woman and had children with her and she suddenly stops being sexually available to him. That is completely selfish and unfair! Unless the woman has an illness or disability that would prevent her from having sex with her husband regularly, there is NO excuse to do this with a man that has made a commitment to you and has given you children.

The reason its unfair is b/c this man can’t just up and walk away with incurring some kind of loss – breaking up a home and family life that his children benefit from, losing out financially, etc. Divorce is no easy feat for anyone and can be very draining for the two people involved and even more draining on children. So its not so simple for a man in need of affection and intimacy to walk away from a marriage, throw up his deuces and say “peace out” and find another woman. He’s invested. SO, yes in this instance I would say to a man not getting any form his wife – GO get it where you can.

If a man is trying to be a reasonable good husband that provides for his family and is doing his part and he cannot get or receive affection and intimacy from his wife REGULARLY, he has EVERY.RIGHT to get his needs fulfilled and met outside of the marriage b/c marriage is vowed till death do you part or else expect to go through a boatload of stressful divorce and custody issues as well as losses.

Any other instance I say cheating is NOT OKAY. cheating on someone is totally unnecessary b/c one can easily just walk away from that relationship and find someone else who makes them happy. Women? Same applies. If a man has somehow turned into a boring unexciting lover and husband who stopped doing the things that kept you happy before the marriage, guess what – its okay to say “PEACE OUT!”.

But only after you have tried to communicate and work things out by letting him know that you are currently unhappy with the way things are. If he has not tried to change, then I would not expect any woman to stay in a lifeless long-term committed relationship or marriage. Another instance that would not warrant even a discussion would be if he turns abusive or into some maniac that you had never known existed until after you married him and/or had children. Discussions are out and running as fats from that long-term relationship and/or marriage is IN ORDER.

BEWARE for the BAIT-N-SWITCHERS in 2012!! 😉

The fact is people are going to do whatever they need to do when it comes to getting someone or something they want from the opposite sex. That isn’t the problem per se. The problem is when they do things simply to get someone and then stop doing those things once they got that person. Its a crime and should be punishable by law!! lol

Seriously, the best way i can think of avoiding this for those who have been baited and switched on or those looking to avoid it is – beware of people trying waaay to hard in the beginning stages of a relationship to ignite those male/female/relationship triggers that they know would likely get a person to fall for them early on.

190 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Marellus
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 00:59:38

    Neecy, delete my post above please.

    Great post Neecy. But the question is : Who is the best example of a male bait-and-switcher ? I nominate Helg Sgarbi.

    He swindled money out of rich women by seducing them first. His greatest success was swindling $10 million out of a BMW-heiress. And here is a bit more of him :

    The gigolo is not an attractive man. Thin-lipped and angular, Helg Sgarbi appears more bookish than rakish, and his blue eyes seem to telegraph a constant message: vulnerability and need.

    How is this possible ? The manosphere says you’ve got to project aloofness aand confidence. He didn’t

    He quickly ingratiated himself with the well-heeled matrons: He displayed impeccable manners and an apparent pedigree. They loved that Sgarbi listened, he understood—unlike their busy husbands. He was an expert flirt, “more or less the ‘flame’ of women a certain age,” one of his victims that summer later told police. “Women absolutely wanted to know more about him.”

    So Mr Sgarbi was definitely not an asshole.

    “I realized he had a rather spiritual vein,” Sandler told police. And a physical one—there was lots of sex, “in several hotels, several times, in various cities,” she said, “in Rome, Munich, and my home in Kitzbühel.”

    This validates what you’ve written in your post.

    By this point his grift had evolved from simple transfers of money into a brilliant two-phase scam. In this case, he told the woman he had struck a child with his car in the United States; if he did not pay €1.2 million, he would face jail time. He persuaded her to put up half the money in cash. Then he turned the screw, saying he had secretly photographed the two of them having sex

    But he sure as hell had a dark side. And look how he picked up the BMW-heiress at a luxury spa. It’s so bloody corny it’s unbelievable.

    He sidled up to her as she was reading The Alchemist, the inspirational tale of a young shepherd pursuing his dreams. “My favorite book,” he said. Soon they were taking walks in the mountains and having tea together. Klatten told police she found Sgarbi “charming, attentive, and at the same time kind of sad. That stirred a feeling in me that we had something in common.”

    What is amazing about this fellow, is that he got into the women’s good graces by NOT being an asshole. He was more beta than anything. How would Roissy try to explain this away ? Yes, they were all middle aged, but still …

    Now what is the female version of Mr Sgarbi ? From the top of my head, I can only think of Anna Nicole Smith.

    Here is a picture of Mr Sgarbi by the way.

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    • zorro
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 01:46:42

      “Yes, they were all middle aged…”

      Question asked and answered in one go. Being middle aged does not necessarily diminish a woman’s beauty to a terrible degree (Susan Lucci, Raquel Welch, Sophia Loren, etc.), but it does tend to wear down their confidence. It takes almost nothing to convince one of these women that they are not as gorgeous as they truly are. Now, I’m not advocating such behavior, but a rake like the predator you cite is precisely the kind to exploit that. I’m not trying to validate Roissy’s take on matters, but I would be very fascinated to hear an explanation of “beta game” and its effectiveness on women.

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      • Marellus
        Jan 05, 2012 @ 03:06:38

        Point taken. It seems this guy though, was not afraid to express his “feelings”, he wasn’t afraid to be “attentive”, and “supportive” and whatnot to seduce these women. And it worked. And you’re right, I doubt he would have had success with (most) younger women. But I think even in that cohort he would have scored. Athina Onassis comes to mind :

        But at what emotional cost? The moniker “poor little rich girl” stuck to Athina like a barnacle on one of her grandfather’s tankers. As a teenager, she even considered giving all the money away when she inherited: “If I burn the money, there will be no problem. No money, no problem.” The relationship between father and daughter seems to have been permanently damaged, too. Last year, he finally renounced all claim to managing the Onassis fortune: but only after he received a settlement of £53m

        All he had to do here, methinks, was to be a surrogate father to her. He would have have screwed her over in more ways than one … pun intended.

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      • Marellus
        Jan 05, 2012 @ 04:29:03

        Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 05, 2012 @ 08:45:13

        Honestly Zorro,

        This whole middle aged women not feeling cofident about themselves is more cultutral – and seems to affect White women the greatest of all. White women often suffer with these feelings B/C White males as a group are very obsessed with Youth. Most other races of women (especially Black and latinas) do not have this issues going into middle aged years. I don’t know any 40, 50 year old Black women who harp on their age or feel unworthy and not sexy or able to find love at their ages. I was never concerend about my age or my prospects until after reading Roissy’s (where almost 95% of the readers are White males). We (Black and Latina women) still often feel quite beautiful and don’t harp on our age as an obstacle in finding love or being appreciated. That is b/c Black and latin males appreciate women’s beauty at all degrees. If the woman is FINE, she’s fine no matter how old she is. they don’t seem to be as obsessed with young women as other races and cultures.

        White men are quite different and i discovered this first hand after being on Roissys for quite some time. So of course middle aged WW will feel unworthy as they age and reach middle ages b/c they are often tossed aside in the SMP by White men who are obsessed with women in thier 20’s.

        Also learning this, it has made me often wonder if I should reconsider even dating White men b/c they are so hung up on age and youth.

        i’m just being honest….

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        • liza207
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 09:40:50

          Yes, a lot of white men it seems are way too obssessed with a woman’s age, especially older white men. It appears that once they become middle-aged they start seeking out younger women. But of course, that is not true for all of them.

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          • liza207
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 09:43:37

            And, yes, black and latin men are much more forgiving of their women aging ,where as a lot of white men are very unforgiving and are just downright cruel about it.

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          • Neecy
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:14:26

            Yes I also notice this in real life. When I tell a middle aged White guy my age they are like “OMG I can’t believe you are that “old”! I thought you were much younger!” HUH? White men start viewing women as old past 25 and its really crazy IMO. I do not for the life of me understand what it is with WM and their obsessoins with youth. They have it the worse.

            To me a man’s man doesn’t care so much about the age as much as he cares about the visuals and attractiveness of the woman. If a man says a woman is automatically undesirable and ugly after a certain age, he has issues IMO.

            While I do believe younger women do obviously possess a great deal of beauty in their youth (all people look better in their youth INCLUDING MEN), that doesn’t mean they turn to crap afterwards. There are a lot of beautiful attractive “seasoned” women/men who actually look better as they age than they did when they were younger. Not most of the time but in some cases.

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        • Zorro
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 09:47:05

          Crimus, Neecy, ther are days I just wanna haul you across my lap and spank your ass like a big frickin pillow!!!

          No, this is what women like…

          Wham! Wham! Wham!

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          • Neecy
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:15:17

            Now YER talkin MATE! 😉

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            • n/a
              Jan 05, 2012 @ 14:39:19

              I know you like to be spanked Neecy, and that’s great — but there’s something else I’d be more interested in doing if I ever wound up in your rear-view mirror. 😉

              We gotta get you ready for your fullbody birthday pics.–

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              • Neecy
                Jan 05, 2012 @ 15:39:12

                Oh please do tell me what that is? Does it have anyting to do with an “unstoppable….” oh nvm not going there !!!

                So youre going to help me get ready for my full body shot? Great!

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        • n/a
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 14:06:07

          To extol the smooth virtue of the younger, hotter, and tighter is not a “put down” of older women — it’s a recognition of sexual fact.

          Whether one is greenhorn beta or pinnacle alpha it is always appropriate to criticize the wizened harpies who make up the dregs of our cities’ cock-riding circus.

          That is: it’s the rare woman who achieves the grace, humor and femininity that allows one to overlook the gray roast-beef ravages of age.

          And there are some men who will always prefer pink and silly young things for fucking.

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          • Neecy
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 15:47:19

            N/A I disagree. There definitley seems to be some major bitterness and hatred against women past a certain age with White men. It seems that WM are being vindictive b/c these women were probably the women who ignored or turned many of you down in your early Beta days. But instead of moving on and forward with your lives, it seems some take great pleasure in trying to disrespect older women. Your mothers are also older women as well.

            Black men have done and still do this as well with Black women but not about the age thing. They use interracial dating as a way to “get back” at Black women who ignored or looked past them in theirr early days. The say almost the same similar things White men say about aging WW.

            Men really need to grow up already and understand your life is not going to get better trying to get back at those who hurt you years ago. The best revenge is living well without baggage and bitterness. Something a lot of those men are not doing.

            Also, men will not get very far with younger women carrying around this obvious bitterness baggage.

            For everything there is karma. WHile many of the reformed Beta men say they are just giving karma to the older women who did them wrong in thier early years, Karma will also come back on those beta guys in their quest to find younger women b/c they are putting down older women about something that is nature and out of thier control – age. They are going to be used by these younger women and given more grief if they even get that far.

            Its like a viscious cycle and circle. But gotta love how karma works.

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            • n/a
              Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:00:45

              Neecy,

              I can’t comment for the men you’ve termed “betas.”

              It’s not the age — it’s the way they’ve lived their lives. It’s the way they lived those years.

              This is what I observe from the perch of the fortunate. So, realize that what you read from me contains not a trace of bitterness, no matter how sharp the flavor of my remarks.–

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              • Neecy
                Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:06:18

                Im not talking about you. You dont come off as bitter to me at all. In fact you seem to have a love for women period.

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                • n/a
                  Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:12:39

                  That’s right. I love women and I hate “feminists.”

                  It’s an odd experience for me, and a sad one, to read the sometimes justified bitterness that sours so many of these beta males — I feel terrible for them.

                  Too many women have discarded what makes them women and that is a tragedy.

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                  • Neecy
                    Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:20:30

                    I see you and a few others on here as a man’s man. You love real women b/c that is what real men do – they love women.

                    Feminist women are a very different breed of “woman” and I understand why real men loathe them.

                    But don’t get me wrong I am in no way letting women off the hook. I do believe women play a huge part in how their lives turn out later regardless of what Beta men say about them. But I’m just saying if Beta guys want to be successful with women NOW, they aren’t going to do so carrying around baggage and bitterness against women who did them wrong in their prime years. That bitterness is going to reek from them when they interact with younger women and they still will find themselves lost and without a real appreciation of them as men by the younger women.

                    When they let go of the past and move forward with their lives and learn to appreciate the wisdom and good life they have now, maybe then they will find themselves much happier and much more successful with younger women or women in general.

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        • n/a
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 14:34:20

          Neecy & Liza,

          Middle-aged white women, when they finally dismount from years of the urban cock-riding rodeo, look like what they are: hardened hags. Their skin is blotchy and parchment thin, with deep creases cut into the foreheads of their frowning faces; their hair brittle and eyes dull from years of late nights and too many mindless cigarettes and martinis; their bodies destroyed by transfat-laden restaurant food and grim hours of worthless “exercise” on stairmasters and treadmills. The creature from the Cum Lagoon!

          Now, some of you fine black honeys have the precious advantage of melanin and good collagen — you know what they say: Black doesn’t crack!

          And as long as your carry your inevitably greater weight in the right places, you can look good and juicy long after a dessicated white harridan has cashed in her few remaining chips.

          And I realize now, more than ever, how you love your white-man. Oh yes.

          Very interesting.–

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          • Neecy
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 15:51:06

            I often wonder why people say a lot of sex ages women but it doesn’t age men? How can sex age a woman?? lol

            What if a woman has a lot of sex with her man over the years – will that age her too?

            It was always my understanding that supposedly having frequent sex gives a woman a glow? lol

            Also, you know how I like my WHite men? Hmmmmm tell me how I like em N/A. You got a lot of things to tell me Mister based on several of your responses.

            This responses should interesting for sure! 😈

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            • n/a
              Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:05:32

              The urban ONS cock-carnival is *infinitely* more damaging to the faces and bodies of women.

              Frequent sex without love doesn’t necessarily hurt a man; indeed, in some cases, it rewards him with a shit-eating grin for life. 🙂

              For most women the situation is the opposite: used hard and put away wet, women become haggard fast.

              A woman who is lucky enough to have frequent sex with a real man who loves her — well — they do glow. They are the most joyous creatures on earth.

              Until/unless it ends. Now that’s a sad thing.–

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              • Neecy
                Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:11:23

                A woman who is lucky enough to have frequent sex with a real man who loves her — well — they do glow. They are the most joyous creatures on earth.

                Until/unless it ends. Now that’s a sad thing.–

                This is the most scarey thing about falling in love for me. It ending. I’d rather be alone than have to go through that pain and hurt. Its such a horrible feelign to carry around in your stomach when it ends, especially if you were really fond of the person.

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                • n/a
                  Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:20:29

                  Neecy,

                  Don’t be scurred! 😉

                  You are meant to love — and, alas, be hurt. You have that openness and vulnerability.

                  Pain is the price for living. And love is pain. More than anything else, love forces us to realize that we are finite creatures. The girl I loved used to hug me so hard during sex it broke my heart.

                  But regret is worse than pain.–

                  Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

                  The poet was right.

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                  • Neecy
                    Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:28:32

                    I often think about that line from the poet and I dunno. I guess for some people its much easier to bounce back from hurt and the loss of someone you were in love with.

                    Idealists like me experience it the worse b/c I like ot believe in long lasting love forever with a person I’m inlove with. So when it ends its so very painful. And while I do eventually get over it it just takes too long. And what sucks even worse if that for me there is nothing that can heal a broken heart EXCEPT TIME. NOTHING. That’s the worse part. Is you literally have to suffer through the getting over part. No new person or anything can speed up that process. Its a horrible feeling to walk around day to day pining for a person you loved and is no longer in your life for whatever reason.

                    WHile I have been single for a minute, this is the one relief I can hoinestly say that comes with being a single woman. I haven’t had to experience the hurt and pain of being in love with someoine and then losing them. When I see my friends go through it, I sometimes deep inside expereince some relief that its not me (i know that is horrible thing for me to say but I’m just being honest). But I crave being in love but don’t want the consequences that come with it ending.

                    *sigh* life is weird.

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            • n/a
              Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:07:12

              Yes, I do know know how you like your white-man, Neecy.

              Just one look told me that you’re that kind of black gal.

              Sexy.–

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              • Neecy
                Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:12:31

                TELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MEEEEEE DAMMIT!!!!

                LOL

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                • n/a
                  Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:25:21

                  Neecy,

                  Damn. You’re making sling these comments like nobody’s business, baby.

                  I can’t say anything rude to you now, we’re too serious at the moment, all this talk of love.

                  But give it a while and then I’ll swoop down.

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                  • n/a
                    Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:26:21

                    You’re making *me* sling these comments, etc…

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                  • Neecy
                    Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:33:39

                    Tsk Tsk Tsk N/A N/A N/A!! Have you even been reading my war and peace novels??! NO? I don’t think you’re the only one 😉 LOL

                    Seroiously you should know me by now. Part of what is exciting to me is the switch up from serious to playful. My ex had this down so good and that is when I discovered myself and what it is that makes me tick. I like spontaneoius switching. One minute we can be serious and the next i wanna hear somehting out of the blue naughty!!

                    Then it could be as simple as me having major ADD? lol

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          • Liza207
            Jan 06, 2012 @ 10:15:49

            N/A,

            I totally agree. I have always believed that too much sex can wear on a woman’s body and looks, especially on a woman who have had a long string of casual encounters over a long period of time. It makes them look old, worn out and haggard. It really does.

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      • Neecy
        Jan 05, 2012 @ 08:45:48

        Also Z,

        I would like to thank you for giving me an idfea for my next post – BETA GAME 😉

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        • Zorro
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 09:25:35

          And I would like to thank you for giving me the idfea for my next practical joke…telling Roissy to haunt your blog and laugh his ass off at beta game!

          I was a beta for 30 years and it put my schlong to sleep. Now you want to advise it as a dating strategy???!!!

          Paging Bill Burr: What are you? A fag?!?!?!

          Love yaz

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          • Neecy
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 09:31:31

            Nooooo I am not making a post about Beta game in terms of getting women. I am just going to focus on what it is and why it may not fully work. DOE DOE BIRD!!

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          • liza207
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:07:03

            Zorro, I wonder how is alpha game working out for you? Is your schlong being worked overtime now- you know with all the alpha game skills you have acquired? I am not trying to be funny. I am just curious.

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            • Zorro
              Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:15:20

              I work the night shift: 7pm to 7am.

              YEAH! THE FRICKIN ALPHA GAME IS GREAT TO ME!

              I’m a fucking zombie, living the DRIVE-SLEEP-DRIVE-WORK-DRIVE-SLEEP-DRIVE-WORK-DRIVE-SLEEP-WORK……

              Just kill me, please for the love of all that is holy.

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      • MK
        Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:14:46

        How is any of that beta game to me he probably used Cassanova charm game as described in the book the Art of Seduction.

        He introduced them to a world of charm and pleasure and tied it around his presence. He was never there for mundane times only exciting adventure so they began to associate all of their pleasure with him and that gave him his in for his con. Fairly textbook.

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        • Neecy
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:20:34

          I agree MK. No Beta game at all with this guy. A charming man is the EPITOME of success when it comes to women. Not an asshole or a super nice guy – but a charming man will get almost anywhere with ANY WOMAN.

          Women respond to charming men b/c they are in the middle. They can make her feel good while he is also providing a little edge of excitement that peaks her curiousity in her.

          Every once in a while I will cross a charming man (usually they are middle aged or older) and they just make you melt! They are rare but they still exist.

          Charming is not necessarily “BETA NICE”. Its a very skilled masculine trait that is used well andproperly can garner a lot of success in getting quality women.

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    • Neecy
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 08:37:22

      Marellus,

      That guy is a sociopath and it doesn’t matter how old or young the woman is. A lot of serial killers like ted Bundy and such were also sociopaths that can get even young women on board.

      I wouldn’t describe this guys antics as beta in any way. he was charming and able to make women feel good and special without making himself look like a desperate dweeb. Add in he was handsome and had that “look” about him and the women are easily hooked. Apparently he was also very dominant and good in the bed which also helped his “cause” to seduce and use these women.

      Remember game sites are targeted a specific kind of female with a specific goal in mind – getting easy access sex. Yes, if you want to have easier access to NSA sex with younger women who *have issues* then your best bet is hardcore dominant asshole game. Other than that, asshole game is only gonna get a man so far if he is looking for more than a ONS or a booty call hook up with a chick every once in awhile. Also young GOOD LOOKING girls (not so much trashy hot) who come from stable families and/or have a higher self esteem of themselves will rarely give into an asshole game for sex. They like guys in the middle who they can feel comfy with in knowing he has dominant traits as well as some nice traits.

      The reality is, there are numbers of women who are easy prey b/c they may have some insecurities. men (sociopaths) are aware of the triggers to get insecure women on the hook. Middle aged and middle aged wealthy women are a great prey b/c they usually like handsome charming men. This guy was both and was able to convince these women that they were special. These women had money and weren’;t really coincerned with the wealth status of the man as long as he made them feel good and special (until he got what he wanted). This even happens on a more local level where tons of women take care of jobless men who have charmed his way into her life and then turns into the asshole and lunatic from hell.

      If the women were younger he’d possibly switch his approach up slightly to appear to be wealthy b/c young women would be attracted to a charming, handosme and wealthy man.Sociopathic men are able to prey on different types of women. It doesn;t matter how old or how young they are.

      Desperate women come in all ages…

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  2. omerta327
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 07:29:02

    Good post, Neece.

    We’ve talked about this on the blog before. What’s the #1 reason for the bait and switch? Complacency.

    FLAMING GAY FISH ON A BAIT, THAT SWITCH WHEN THEY WALK!

    Whoooa. That makes absolutely no sense. That’s almost Dr. Seuss-esque.

    And what’s your beef with the Ropers? Ha!

    If a man is trying to be a reasonable good husband that provides for his family and is doing his part and he cannot get or receive affection and intimacy from his wife REGULARLY, he has EVERY.RIGHT to get his needs fulfilled and met outside of the marriage…

    Tell that to a judge.

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    • Neecy
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 08:49:11

      Yes complacency is one issues but i think selfishness and entitlement is a bigger part of the problem. it takes quite a selifish self centered person to feel as though they don’t have to do the things to keep their long term partner happy and satisfied. They knew entering into a comitted relationship requires maintaining your partners happiness in *some* aspect (yeah I know only oneself can make themselves happy) but you know what I mean.

      Its really a case of entitlement and selishness. But complacency is also one b/c a lot of people may not consciously mean to do those things they just get too comfy.

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    • Neecy
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 08:50:19

      BTW I changed the title b/c even after i posted it last night i was like “HUH NEECY??” lol thx for the feedback…

      Anbd I love Three’s company and the Ropers. PURE fkn comedy.

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  3. Zorro
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 09:28:24

    Al Roper was the fuckin’ shit!

    Comedy heaven!

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  4. MK
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:03:08

    I predict the following based on this post:
    1. You start ranking top 15 for blow job marathons (which is unfair because I feel you’d finish at least top 10 in said marathon).

    2. Your amazon affiliate sales for penis chandeliers bulges into a profitable niche where your known as the queen of the penis chandelier and doing late night infomercials like Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School.

    3. One of the members of your audience probably did the nasty mentally with one of the “switched” pictures above.

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    • Neecy
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:27:56

      LMFAO MK!! You are crazy!!

      Do they really have blo job marathons? I’m sure some women unknowingly particpatre in them witht he amount of men they open their mouths for. LOL

      Yeah I’m interested to see what my search engine terms will come up now. I mean its been really quiet and normal since switching the blog name. I really believe that mankini post of mine was the cause of all the weird search terms revolving around v a gina.

      LOL So what you’re saying is you stroked your member to Mrs. Roper????? Its okay we’re all fam here, you can tell us! 😉

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  5. Neecy
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:33:13

    You guys how KEWL is that penis chandelier?? My Bday is in March is anyone wants to get me one 😉

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    • MK
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 10:55:46

      Nice your Bday deserves something like that. What if we bedazzle Zorro, get some 24hr velcro and toss him up on your ceiling?

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      • Neecy
        Jan 05, 2012 @ 11:04:24

        AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!

        OMG i just fkn spit out my damn water reading that.

        You are CRAZZZY!!

        LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

        P.S. Zorro is gonna get yoooooou MK!

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        • MK
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 11:12:57

          I was giving him respect that time vs. having fun on the one above so he and I are solidly even. (but if I think he thinks otherwise I may pretaliate before he can get me back, that’s just how I do).

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        • Zorro
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 13:51:40

          I already took my X-mas lights off the tree and roped them around my weiner. Ready for ceiling attachment!

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          • Neecy
            Jan 05, 2012 @ 15:27:03

            Hahahahahahaha!!!!!

            But wait! Don’t plug up the lights yet b/c they’ll start burning your wiener. You still got two months so don’t plug them in yet 😉

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  6. Firepower
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 12:19:33

    neeecy burbled:
    Noooooo!! You fools! You guys are sooo darn gullible and easy to trick!

    go easy girl: some of my best escapades with Nubian Princesses are based on those gullible and easy to trick

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  7. Marellus
    Jan 05, 2012 @ 12:25:20

    Neecy.

    I’ll concede your point, if you will concede that what Mr Sgarbi is doing, isn’t something that is comprehensively discussed on a normal Game Blog. He is/was attaining success following another script. Capisce ???

    MK

    I really need to get that book written by Robert Greene. If you read the article you’ll see that Mr Sgarbi elicits sympathy from his victims. How do you interpret that ?

    Zorro.

    Cheer up, it’s almost Friday …

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    • MK
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 13:09:56

      Yes the Robert Greene book is super advanced and uses many historical references it is quite a work of art.

      Sympathy might be the wrong word but I would say he used those tales mentioned in the articles to build intrigue and rapport. He probably already had the women hooked at that point since target selection is critical and it sounded like he and others did a lot of homework to select the right targets. The Greene book mentions someone has to want to be seduced to really fall deep into it so he must have selected the targets and used their lonely state to create that hook. He probably then gave them pleasure and retreat from the lonely state through a combination of emotional and physical pleasure. He made them feel like the most interesting women in the world and they associated him as the most interesting man in the world because well he convinced them of that and it made them feel good to think a man like that would want them. Like I said Classic Cassanova.

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      • MK
        Jan 05, 2012 @ 13:20:17

        Also the true seducer/manipulator is Barretta if the story is accurate. He exercised control over Mr Sgarbi and was the puppet master of this and various other schemes. He basically had a whole cult doing his bidding an old rich seducing community of puppets who paid him generous tithes acquired by taking one for the team.

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        • Marellus
          Jan 05, 2012 @ 15:16:55

          Make these comments your next blog post.

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        • Marellus
          Jan 06, 2012 @ 03:22:43

          Re : Baretta. I wonder what similarities he had with Jim Jones …

          http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9111740369454241202

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          • MK
            Jan 06, 2012 @ 11:30:47

            A love of money, grape kool aid and loose women?

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          • Marellus
            Jan 06, 2012 @ 12:59:06

            I dunno. Jim Jones loved to portray himself as a martyr. And in this tape he also mindfucked his followers into believing an apocalypse was coming. He then reframed their mass suicide into an act of rebellion, (and the best tool in this reframe was the “potential” harm to their children.)

            He didn’t use amused mastery to thwart the dissenters, but rather hammered on futility and defiance. And his congregation bought it.

            But what really piques my interest is how hopeless an orator he is. He lisped. He would have been roasted on a run-of-the-mill talk show. Really. And yet he managed to kill over 900 people.

            It just shows you how powerful a religious angle can be in hiding personal weaknesses.

            How can that be possible ? All I can say is that there must be truth in your observation that some people WANT to be mindfucked …

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    • Neecy
      Jan 05, 2012 @ 16:04:31

      Neecy.

      I’ll concede your point, if you will concede that what Mr Sgarbi is doing, isn’t something that is comprehensively discussed on a normal Game Blog. He is/was attaining success following another script. Capisce ???

      You’re right Marellus, the type of Game he is using is not what is talked about on PUA forums. That is why i said he is using charming game to get a certain caliber of women. Being charming will most likely not work on trashy women of any sort or age. They tend to prefer hardcore asshole dominant game as what turns them on. I also pointed out that most of the game discussed on PUA sites is game to get younger somewhat trashy (but hot) girls in the bed.

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  8. zorro
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 00:13:55

    My life sucks!

    I just went down to the tattoo parlour to get a tattoo of Dolly Parton put on my ass.

    They told me my ass isn’t big enough!

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    • Marellus
      Jan 06, 2012 @ 00:32:51

      🙂

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    • Neecy
      Jan 06, 2012 @ 08:47:16

      One boob takes up both your ass cheeks! hehehee!!!

      Dolly was pretty back in the day. Now she looks liek the creature from the blue lagoon! 😮

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      • omerta327
        Jan 06, 2012 @ 08:52:27

        Hey, cut Dolly some slack. She’s like 87 years old.

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      • omerta327
        Jan 06, 2012 @ 08:59:59

        Speaking of Dolly, you guys seen the ads for that new movie she’s in w/ Queen Latifah?

        Looks like they’re trying to introduce “swirling” to the masses. 😈

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        • Neecy
          Jan 06, 2012 @ 09:03:28

          Wait her and Queen Latifah are swirling????!! DAYUM! Now that’d make for an interesting *flick*. Queen Latifah Boffing Dolly Parton. A tale of young and old and how they found each other despite the color of thier skin. heheheheheeee!!

          LOL Seroously what movie is this – is it about interracial relationships? I love seeing Black women swirling 😉

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          • omerta327
            Jan 06, 2012 @ 09:18:36

            No, no, no. I forget the name of the movie, but it has to do w/ a high school choir. Anyway, there’s a teen BG/WB romance in it.

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            • Neecy
              Jan 06, 2012 @ 09:24:06

              Awesome, we need to see more of those for sure. I may even support the film. I have to look it up. I am in also writing interracial screenplays myself featuring BW/WM. I would also like to explore foreign ones to.

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              • omerta327
                Jan 06, 2012 @ 10:04:14

                Found it. It’s called “Joyful Noise”.

                FWIW, from the commercials, it looks absolutely AWFUL.

                I saw one ad where they show the BG and WB talking, Dolly and Queen are looking on and Dolly says, no lie, “She’s looking at him the same way I look at cake!”

                I smell an Oscar. :p

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                • Neecy
                  Jan 06, 2012 @ 10:27:11

                  Oh nooooo! I cannot do cheesy corny flicks. Its like pulling all of my teeth out all at once with a plyer.

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                • Liza207
                  Jan 06, 2012 @ 10:44:13

                  I’ll pass. But it is good that they are not making it all about them being wb/bg falling in love. Something New was a good movie but we should be past that by now and should be portrayed as normal people just naturally falling in love.

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      • Zorro
        Jan 06, 2012 @ 12:03:14

        You’re thinking of the Creature from Black Lake.

        The Creature from Blue Lagoon was Brook Shields.

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        • Neecy
          Jan 06, 2012 @ 12:13:58

          LOL what’s your beef with brooke Shields?

          I’ll never forget. My best friend/neighbor in 4th grade was a gay White guy who was in love with Brooke Shields and Chrstie brinkley. We would fight over which one we were. He always got to be Christie Brinkley and I got stuck being Brooke Shields. What a BULLY!

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          • Zorro
            Jan 06, 2012 @ 12:16:26

            No beef at all. Anyone that can stand up to and fuck up Tom Cruise is the shit with me.

            …but she was in The Blue Lagoon.

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  9. zorro
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 00:15:03

    I really like Dolly Parton. I think she’s a decent human being. She’s a great American.

    I think her likeness should be carved into Mount Rushmore.

    But there isn’t enough stone to make it life-size, so what’s the point?

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  10. MK
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 07:14:20

    Was inspired to write this after reading a yahoo story related to Tiger’s ex. Will be interested to see what neecy and liza think. Does how Elin decides to spend her divorce windfall affect how culpable she is in the ending of her marriage. Alot of idiotic yahoo commenters seem to think so saying “See Tiger was right” HAHA

    http://manfortheages.com/scarcity-mentality-example-and-why-it-is-self-defeating/

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  11. omerta327
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 08:06:25

    Neecy:

    This is the most scarey thing about falling in love for me. It ending. I’d rather be alone than have to go through that pain and hurt… Idealists like me experience it the worse b/c I like ot believe in long lasting love forever with a person I’m inlove with. So when it ends its so very painful… And what sucks even worse if that for me there is nothing that can heal a broken heart EXCEPT TIME. NOTHING. That’s the worse part. Is you literally have to suffer through the getting over part. No new person or anything can speed up that process. Its a horrible feeling to walk around day to day pining for a person you loved and is no longer in your life for whatever reason… But I crave being in love but don’t want the consequences that come with it ending.

    Wow. I just learned volumes about you.

    It makes me sad to hear you feel that way. I think a lot of women have this problem – the fear of vulnerability. Men have that fear, too, but we’re taught from an early age to just suck it up and face fear, whatever it may be. Women, maybe not so much.

    This will be a HUGE obstacle for you in life if you don’t take steps to overcome it, Neece. In your New Year’s post, you talk a lot about getting outside of your comfort zone and breaking new ground – you should follow you own advice here.

    It all comes down to keeping a good head on your shoulders (heh, I said “good head” :cool:) Know exactly what you want, and don’t be afraid to pursue it with full heart and mind when you do. Life isn’t perfect, relationships aren’t perfect, but you can’t let that hinder your emotional growth.

    I’d hate to see someone as bitchin’ as you end up living with 25 cats because you were afraid of what bad things MIGHT happen.

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    • Neecy
      Jan 06, 2012 @ 08:17:12

      O,

      Thanks for your concern and you are right we all have to accpet vulnerability in our lives at some point. Evefrything isn’t always going to be peachy clean in life.

      But I am not *running* away from loving someone, I am just *expressing* the hurt and pain that comes with being in love with someone and it ending. Its a hard feeling to have to deal with, but as i said it does eventually subside and you are able to move on with your life. But the truth is I will fall in love with someone but I just hate the part or the thought of that *ENDING*.

      I tend to be an idealist at times and almost too much of an idealist when it comes to love and relatoinships. I need to realize that I cannot be an idealist when it comes to love and relationships b/c its just not a guarantee that love with a person will last forever.

      As i get older though, I fear less of this b/c as people mature they tend to be more aware of the persons they choose and typically have much more stable foundations and longer lasting relationships than when younger.

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  12. Neecy
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 09:14:51

    Ok I got an interesting search engine term today: And actully (2) searches came up under this term:

    “HAPPY TREES”

    Uhm okay who is searching for “happy trees” 😕 lol

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  13. Neecy
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 09:35:03

    Don’t mind me everyone, I’m having severe ADD today. Carry on…:D

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  14. Liza207
    Jan 06, 2012 @ 10:19:44

    I am home from work today because I too have a cold. I feel really shitty.

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  15. zorro
    Jan 07, 2012 @ 01:26:32

    I like the new photo!

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  16. jbamai
    Jan 08, 2012 @ 13:09:44

    I know I chimed in on this somewhat late but I still beleive this deserves some commentary. First let me just say your unbeleivable frankness and deep understanding regarding male/female relationships is refreshing. Its rare to see this from a woman. As a man I appreciate your introspection and willingness to see both sides of the issue. I found you through heartiste and when you post there I make sure to read it through.

    However, I still get the sense that despite some hard to swallow truths you have seen in your research of Sexual Marketplace Dynamics, you still cling to some of the typical romantic notions (I nice way of saying lies). I dont blame you for it. Some of these truths are just too hard to swallow.

    I get the sense from this post that you still cling to this notion that we should just be ourselves and we would eventually find that one person who will just love us for who we are, The reality is that for alot of people being “themselves” is not enough motivation for them to put the best foot forward in the initial phases of a relationship. We must strive to be OUR BEST SELF.

    Imaigine if someone were applying to an Ivy League school and they asked you for advice on how to prepare the application. Would you advice them to not do everything in their power to put their best foot forward and present themselves in a positive light?

    Yes people do go overboard, hence your admonition against the bait and switch. But your advice here ignores the elephant in the room. That elephant is relationships and the fact they are inherently designed to fail overtime. Familiarity breeds contempt. Becoming best friends kills sexual desire. This is not necesarily bait and switch….its just the nature of relationships Neecy.

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    • Neecy
      Jan 08, 2012 @ 19:31:34

      J,

      Thanks for your contribution to this topic and I appreciate the kind words!

      I understand what you are saying and yes we as individuals should always be seeking to put our best foot forward when looking for relationships or anything in life. But a person can put their best foot forward and still be themselves so that there are no surprises later on down the line. Putting your best foot forward doesn’t mean LYING, pretending or doing things that are not in your nature just to please someone temporarily until they have invested so much that you later on down the line switch it up and really show them the person you *really* are.

      The point I am making is that people need to be themselves, BUT be willing to make adjustments based on what they feel would make the best relationship for themselves and their partner. In the animated and exaggerated examples I used, the difference between the first person and the second person was that both were seeking ways in which to appeal to their partners but one (the second person) was more realistic in saying that they may or may not do or participate in things their SO loved or enjoyed, but they were *WILLING* to learn, and give those things a chance b/c they cared enough for the person to do it –as opposed to lying and pretending that they enjoyed those things just to temporarily make their partner happy.

      I have admitted to being an idealist when it comes to love and relationships and I understand that in and of itself can lead to believe in some not so hard truths. Although, I always seek to remain *REALISTIC* about things despite my tendency to be idealistic.

      I just don’t like to believe that relationships are meant to fail. Although I see many before my eyes that do, and I have experienced some myself, I don’t believe that relationships inherently are meant to fail. I believe that people fail the relationships they are in and also enter into relationships for a number of reasons and those *REASONS* are why so many relationships fail.

      While many relations fail, there are plenty that don’t. A lot of people can stay together for years and that is b/c those two people’s reasons for being together were the *RIGHT* reasons and any obstacles faced were not enough to cause them to break away from each other.

      I feel, people, who go into relationships with the mindset that they are going to fail, will find themselves in failing relationships.

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