BETA GAME – HUH?????

BETA GAME

Sounds like an Oxymoron doesn’t it?   

As many of you know I am pro beta with some adjustments. I think a Beta type guy who makes adjustments in his “game” is the epitome of the man that every woman wants and wants to keep. In fact, if a beta guy plays his cards right, he actually push himself one step ahead of the Alpha/Player guy in the SMP b/c he *can* possess the best of both worlds. But he as to really adjust and learn certain observational behaviors.

 So what would Beta game be as opposed to Beta men ripping out their brain matter, quitting their good jobs, going to the gym to get body building ripped, and schlepping to the dark side of PLAYERVILLE? Can a Beta guy keep some of his more desirable Beta traits and develop enough of the more Alpha traits to keep him ahead of the game in the SMP? Or,  do beta men need to completely stop being beta, for more potential booty calls?

 THE TRADITIONAL BETA MALE – A DUTIFUL& WILLING SOLDIER

 As a Black woman, my introspection and EMPATHY for the Western White beta male stems moreso from the experience and knowledge of how unfortunately similar he is too many American Black women. American Black women are often the supporters, givers, sacrificers, glue, for everyone else’s needs, benefits and happiness –all the while, never demanding that her needs as a woman are met. It’s always about doing for others, sacrificing for others and never getting that back from those very people. In fact, what she does get back is ridicule, blame, lack of appreciation, marginalization, and abandonment. Not very far off from what most Beta White men experience throughout their lives.

 In my eyes most beta men are Western White males. When you look at Western culture, you see some of the most advanced forms of life luxuries and benefits than you would in any other culture or society. These things stem from men whom have channeled a great deal of their energies (be them voluntarily or by default) in helping to advance society and people decade by decade.

 In addition, the traditional White Beta male has been the glue and the backbone of Western White culture, White women, White children, and White communities. Very similar to the American Black woman. The reason White society is able to thrive is not b/c of the Players and Alphas out banging hot trashy women in clubs and bars, not b/c of the overly pedestaled and entitled women who do nothing but keep their hands out expecting the best for crappy behavior, but b/c of the Beta men (who put up with the formers) and who for better or for worse have channeled more of their masculine energies into creating societies that thrive.

 American Black women often sacrifice opportunities for individual better lives (as do Beta guys) for the benefit of the COLLECTIVE.  What happens when you solely live for keeping the collective heads afloat? YES, you lose out on your individual efforts at happiness and sustainability!

 Having said that, beta men still have penises and still have a great desire for female affection, attention and sex. The lack of such is a result of a society and culture of women who take for granted the protections, lifestyles, stability and comfort that come as a result of having an abundance of beta males at their fingertips and command. It soon for these women (and the Alpha/players that do nothing but benefit from beta men’s works) becomes more of a beta man’s *DUTY* to provide these things.

 Once people feel its your *DUTY* to do certain things, they absolve themselves from any real desire, need or want to return the favor.  It simply becomes a  “given” that your sole purpose on earth is to make other people’s lives easier & better  while receiving nothing in return that would equally make your life more enhanced and happier.

 Same applies to American Black women who forfeit their rights and opportunities to love men across the color lines who would work with them and appreciate them,  b/c its their *DUTY* to keep the Black community, Black men, Black people afloat with her resources, efforts and life.

 

WHAT TYPE OF MAN ARE YOU?

 I guess it first starts with self. Every man would have some individual characteristics that would make him desire different things from women or relationships. While there is a basic and simple need for most all men there are still some variations.

 A Beta guy at heart is a guy who does not necessarily care or need to bed everything with a wet available hole, he just wants to be able to get laid and get a girl he desires when that time presents itself. He also longs to be appreciated and loved for what he brings to the table and not used as a meal ticket by women who have starved him so long of affection that by the time they have decided they are no longer attractive to the hot studs they rode in their younger years, the starved for female booty and attention beta guy is waiting in the wings for them – no questions asked.

 Most players have a different route. Their goal is to get as many opportunities to bed as many available women as possible with no real goal in mind except getting laid. Beta men are more built for long term relationships, marriage and family building. BUT this is their weakness in that they haven’t figured out enough GAME to keep them from solely being used as the cleanup man.

 THE CLEAN UP MAN DONS HIS CAP’N SAVE A HOE CAPE

 Beta men keep society thriving. They give us all of the luxuries and lifestyle comforts that we enjoy. They treat people and women with respect and are reasonable by nature. They try to keep the scales balanced by trying to understand things that may be out of their nature (women). But that comes at a price for whom? BETA MEN;  the very providers of everyone else’s happiness.

 So as a result, Beta men will often put themselves on the line (especially when it comes to women) to gain some favor with women or people and ultimately end up being shitted on and used. Instead of using his superior skills and abilities to demand the same equivalency of things in return, he settles for what he can get in the love and relationship dept.

 Ultimately, the downfall of beta guys is that they see only the END result. They don’t focus on the most effective ways to get to that end result without losing too much of himself or his resources on the way there.  In a Beta Guys mind, the end result is – GET THE WOMAN. He wants a woman and he’s going to do anything to get her attention & approval to win her over and ultimately gain some sort of intimacy from her for the short or long term. He doesn’t think about ways in which he can gain things for himself in the process. The end gain for him is getting the woman by any means necessary – and that means is usually self-deprecating, over supplicating to the wrong women, no demand for reciprocation just to name a few.

 Beta men also tend to don the Cap’n Save a Hoe cape more than necessary. And they do so for women who aren’t giving them anything. They don’t seek to do things for women that have actually fulfilled some need of his, they do it IN ORDER to get some need fulfilled – yet that hardly ever happens. The only thing he gets for being a *Captain Save an ungrateful hoe*  is “let’s just be friends”  or pointing with tons of laughter or disgust.

 MOVING INTO THE MODERN DAY BETA MALE –  YES, WHO ACTUALLY GETS LAID!

 As stated, I don’t believe Beta men need to completely change into players and total Alphas to be more successful in the dating arena. But they need to get with the modern day program.  While women & players are changing in the SMP Beta guys are staying the same – that is the problem.

 Game techniques can only help a true beta man so much. The best thing a beta guy can do for himself is start loving himself more, demanding respect for the things he is bringing to the table, demanding reciprocation in all relationships, and start focusing on his social skills even before trying “GAME”.  

 But unless a Beta guy asks himself what things he really likes about himself and what things he seeks to change about himself, he really won’t be as successful in the SMP as he thinks. If he feels he is a complete failure without taking into account that most of what his biggest problem is lack of demand for reciprocation or other social awkwardness traits (that can EASILY BE FIXED) he won’t really get very far. Game techniques tend to be delivered in a One Size Fits all matter and would need tweaking and adjustment.

 BITTERNESS IS YOUR BIGGEST HANDICAP

 A lot of beta men are bitter as they reach ages where they have either wisened up and/or achieved some sort of success and now have an opportunity to get the kinds of women that have been so elusive to him in the past. Its understandable why Beta guys would look to the women their age and want to ridicule them for aging and such, but recognize that bitterness and baggage *WILL* keep you from getting to your full potential in the SMP with the women you desire. Bitterness is not only a nasty taste in one’s own mouth, its reeks from those who carry it around smugly. Better believe if you are a beta or reformed beta who gets off on constantly bashing the women who are now older and who ignored or mistreated you in your earlier years – you will never win.

 Those women lived their lives for better or worse and had their fun. Are you living your life and having fun if you are focusing on women past a certain age who don’t even know you exist? The only difference between the guy in the past and yourself now, is that you *THINK* all you need to have is a better approach to getting women, a goatee, and good job and it’s a done deal. SOWWY. Bitterness gets you so far. Focusing on people and things you claim to have zero interest in keeps you from progressing to your fullest potential.

 If you wanna “stick it to tha man woman” that did you wrong, your best bet is to ignore them and live well. They would be able to see this for themselves instead of seeing some scorned little boy in a man’s shell who can’t let go of the past.

 UNDERSTAND THIS CONEPT: WOMEN COME IN A VARIETY OF CATEGORIES

While I know gamers, PUA’s and players are loathe to admit that it really is a specific certain kind of woman that falls for their games and are easily bedded, a Beta guy can stay one step ahead of the game recognizing the differences in women and how to categorize them for an even better and broader ability at getting the kind of woman he wants.

 a Beta man *really* needs to understand that while women may hold some of the same characteristics, by and by women fall into very different and distinct categories. If a Beta guy taking on PUA and game techniques is not fully aware of the categories in which different women fall, he will fail for the most part. While PUA’s and Players tend to lump all women into one bucket, they also tend not to see that its only one kind of particular women they end up gaming and playing.

 So in essence what they are teaching Betas Is how to gain access to certain kinds of women and not *ALL*  WOMEN. Wouldn’t it be beneficial for a beta guy to know ways in which to gain access to all women based on what his individual needs are and how women fall into a variety of categories?

 Beta guys needs to ask himself what kinds of women he wants to pursue and for what reasons.  Not all beta guys want to pump and dump and don’t really wanna deal with crap that comes with the scores of Looney and damaged women who would be easy access for pumps n dumps.

 IF NEECY WERE A BETA MALE WHAT WOULD SHE DO?

 Hmm Good question Neecy!! ( I love talking to myself and answering myself in the 3rd person!!)

 

1)      DROP THE BETA PROVIDER SIGN FROM YOUR FOREHEAD

 IOW’s. Beta guys usually have bait. Their bait is they typically are very successful in their careers and as a result have an abundance of resources or power.  But if you let this be known too soon or are willing to share these resources with women too soon, you will be used and/or strung along for such resources in MOST cases. So focus on promoting YOURSELF as a person to see if the woman responds. She doesn’t need to know what you do for a living, how much you make, your family pedigree or other things that would signal “beta provider”. All she needs to be focused on is getting to know you better and you getting to know her better as PEOPLE. If a woman doesn’t show interest in you as  *PERSON* then  you know off hand this is not a woman that should further benefit from your resources. What she doesn’t know can hurt her (and help you), if she is not sincere.

2)      HOLD YOUR COMPOSURE AT ALL TIMES

I don’t care how fione the woman is – HOLD YOUR COMPOSURE!!! I don’t care if she lifts up her shirt to reveal a pair of perky full supple bouncing breasts and the only two breasts you ever saw bare was the ones your mom breast fed you with as an infant (if you remember this, then please exit this blog and head to the nearest psychiatrist).

 I know its hard fellas. As men its visual beauty that drives you and therefore you cannot control yourself when a woman crosses your path that pushes all of your buttons. One of the major downfalls of beta males is they typically go overboard with complimenting and supplicating to women. As you know, I am pro male compliments and I really hate men who don’t compliment women b/c they are trying to play games. But there*is* a fine line that a man has to take and usually only an experienced highly confident man can feel very comfy in complimenting a woman he desires and still keeping her attracted and interested. 

An inexperienced beta guy hasn’t learned that yet and will typically go overboard or do it in ways that appear to be supplicating to a woman and as such will turn a woman off b/c you come off as desperate. You may SINCERELY be thinking this is the hottest girl you’ve ever seen, you may be SINCERELY thinking you don’t have a chance, but the moment you reveal such in body language and words it’s a done deal (and I don’t mean the kind of done deal where you two are rolling around on White sheets giggling and laughing, sucking on chocolate covered strawberries  in the nude – *damn that sounds fun and good right about now*). *sigh* Moving on…..

 3)      KEEP YOUR ARMS & SHOULDERS TO YOURSELVES!

Another beta guy mishap? Always having your arms open for that chick (that you like more than a friend) that sees you as her shoulder to cry on, her chest to lean on when the guy she is banging makes her mad or hurts her. If you are friends with a girl you like, YOU’RE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE! That is unless you are the rare man that can suck it up, and let it go and simply be her friend with no more desire for anything more. If you can do that – then its all good.

A woman doesn’t need a guy friend to determine if later she will like him enough to have an intimate relationship with him. It’s best to be upfront about what you want or like to see with your relationship with her. If she responds she is not feeling you in that matter, your best bet is to remove yourself from that friendship as much as possible. I understand in some instances this may not be possible. In those cases, keep your arms down. Do not become that schlub with open arms that she runs to when the other guy who is benefitting  upsets her. That is what her g/f’s , her momma, her auntie, her nana, her cousin, and gay male friends are for.

4)      UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF BUYERS BEWARE

Beta men like to be chivalric and often times will offer some of their resources for women they are just getting to know. I think it’s a good and courteous gesture. But it needs to strictly come from a place of you using that resource for your own intents to get to know the woman better and NOTHING MORE. If you go into doing anything for a woman with the INTENT you will get something in return – you’ve already lost. The purpose for buying a woman a drink in a social setting, taking a woman out to dinner on a first or second date etc., is strictly to gain access to her time for you to get to know if she is worth pursuing. PERIOD.

 Since most men do the approaching, this would be on the man. But in cases where a woman is the pursuer I would also say she needs to do the same thing to get a man’s time and attention if she desires it.

 No other thoughts should be in your head when doing this EXCEPT that you are willing to offer a small token or investment  of something  (like a drink or dinner) so that you can see if this is a woman you are interested in pursuing beyond initial stages of “getting to know you better”. I know nowadays some guys brag about how they don’t buy women drinks nor takes them out to dinner and they get exactly what they ask for – low caliber trashy women.

 Quality women (and highly sought after women)  do not take for granted a guy who buys them a drink to have further convo or a guy who asks them out to dinner for further “getting to know you” purposes. Trashy women OTOH, aren’t so courteous and usually they have trashy written all over them in some form or fashion.  A quality woman understands that a man who is asking for her time is willing to offer a small token or investment to do so.

Guys who bitch about buying women drinks and taking women to dinner and getting nothing in return are guys who EXPECT something in return and when they don’t get it, they feel they were *used*.

 If you want to avoid being used for drinks or dinner, perhaps making some small talk before hand is in order. But realize a quality woman will not sit and chat up a guy for very long who is not courteous enough to offer her a drink for more of her time.

 5)      CONFIDENCE AND BODY LANGUAGE (AND WARDROBE) GO A LOONG WAY

A beta guy (especially a socially inept one) needs to constantly be working on his body language to exude more confidence. Also working on a set wardrobe that is somewhat stylish or fits in with the crowd or types of women you are interested in helps somewhat. Yeah yeah we all heard of the “ALPHA PLAYER” who walks in a room with a big fuzzy hat breakin all the social norms in dress codes etc.  –  Sorry but this doesn’t happen OFTEN and often times the average guy is not silly or stupid or gutsy enough to pull this. And most of the time most women will laugh and find it cute and amusing, but won’t really take him seriously in the long run. The last thing a  Beta guy needs to do is draw amusing attention to himself when he is already struggling with confidence and  a solid demeanor to look more relaxed.

6) DON’T BE AFRAID TO LOOK FOR OTHER POSSIBLE BROWN BOOTIES  GREENER PASTURES

Beta White men for various reasons tend to stick and stay within the confines of what is familiar to them – WHITE WOMEN. Often times they will not explore relationships with other races of women. Many times its fear, no interest or attraction to other races, feelings of guilt for pursuing a woman other than White and giving up on his people, family etc. Whatever the case may be, if  what only keeps you from pursuing other races of women is FEAR and nothing else, step out of your comfort zone. You may be shocked at the scores of other races of women (LIKE BLACK WOMEN– hehe shamless plug 😈  ) who would love to have a decent quality White guy on their arms and in their beds. All you gotta do is stay solid and believe that just b/c a great deal of women within your race don’t appreciate or find you attractive doesn’t mean other atractive women of other races (LIKE BLACK WOMEN hehehe – shamless plug again 😛 ) don’t.

 RE: #6  – ITS MY BLOG AND I AM A BLACK WOMAN AND I CAN SHAMELESSLY PLUG FOR THE SISTAS ALLLLL I WANNA! SO THERE!

Well that about covers some of the main points. I’m sure others can add to the list if I left anything out.

 No go out there beta guys and GET SOMETHING IN RETURN for all the GREAT qualities you possess!

 Black women, while this post focused more on Beta White men, I hope some of the principles you took along with you as well 😉

 Love ya sister in the struggle

 NEECY

Advertisements

349 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Marellus
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 14:26:33

    Neecy.

    A Great Post … and somehow I do think you’ll get your White Knight …

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 09, 2012 @ 14:28:43

      LOL!! Did you read all of it?? Cause I just posted it like 5 mins ago? LMAO!

      Seriously, that is so sweet of you marellus and yes I know my WHite knight is coming. I get closer to him every day 😉

      Like

      Reply

    • Marellus
      Jan 09, 2012 @ 14:36:05

      … and there was a party I once attended where I ordered myself pizza while the other guys were barbecuing. They were upset. Oh well. Anyway a fat white chick showed her boobs to me as I was leaving, and was very loud and forthright in her request that she wanted to see me again. It was a spectacle. I never saw it coming. Anyway I just smiled, said good-bye yo her and then left. And I still don’t know why she did that … and I don’t think I ever will …

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 09, 2012 @ 14:41:17

        OMG Marellus you got flashed some boobies?? LOL Don’t worry I’ve actually had White women flash me their boobs as well (still can’t figure that one out) 😕 lol.

        Anyway, the fact that you held your composure is good. A lot of women do drastic stuff when they realize they can’t get attention any other way. She expected you (being a man and one who probably loves boobs) to become completely focused on her after that. I’m glad you handled it the way you did – serves attention whores like her right 😉

        Like

        Reply

      • MK
        Jan 09, 2012 @ 17:31:48

        Blame it on the al al alcohol.. she was probably hammered and wanted a slice.

        Like

        Reply

  2. Zorro
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 14:31:57

    You’ll know your white knight is coming when you look at yourself and go, “where did all this fucking mayonnaise come from?”

    Old joke.

    Like

    Reply

  3. jbamai
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 15:33:26

    Again I applaud you on this much needed introspection that you have provided. While I am wholeheartedly in favor of the spirit with which you posted this I can see some glaring weaknesses in your position here.Your idealism and romanticism combined with a certain rational pragmatism has left you blindsided.

    You are quite familiar with game/pua theory so I will not rehash any of this here. Suffice it to say, just a cursory review of evolutionary psychology will show you that GAME is not just for certain women, GAME is for all women. Game is gravity and ALL are subject to its laws.

    Hell, game transcends this whole battle of the sexes and can be used to influence and persuade men and women alike. So for you to say that only a “certain type” of woman falls prey to this is ludicrous.

    No doubt the contributions of black women have been tremendous. I say this as a black man, however, lets not confuse the issue. The contributions they have made has absolutely nothing to do with the types of men they make themselves sexually available to, Lo and behold, black women are fighting for that alpha seed and are willing to put up with the most irredeemable of men in order to do so. White women are no different Neecy its just culturally they can hide it elevate it and turn it into art. Lady Chatterlys Lover is but one example. All women are the same at a deep level…after all we all came out of Africa.

    I gotta admit I flinched at your suggestion that black women embrace unappreciated beta white males. As many will attest on forums like tiredblackman.com, if black women can’t appreciate a good black man then what in the world makes you think they will appreciate a good white man?

    Now for the positive reinforcement. I loved your suggestions that you gave to beta males towards the end of the article. However, you left out the Dark Triad of traits women find irresistable. Surely you know about this. Surely you must be experiencing some sort of cognitive dissonance in order for you to cling to some of your romantic notions.

    Take a look at my Toba Selection Theory and the Provider vs Survivor article. Your cognitive dissonance is somewhat entertaining.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 09, 2012 @ 15:58:55

      Hi J!

      I wanna respond tpo your poits in two parts.

      If you read many of my posts you will find I have a common theme on what most all women (those who are not completely damaged) want in a man – they want a good guy but they also want a man with EDGE. That “EDGE” is where game principles come in. I have also clearly stated on many occasions (mainly my post on Boredom and women) that women do not want NICE GUYS. They want masculine and dominant men who are reasonable & decent. IOW’s a man in the middle.

      The man best to fit that description is a BETA MAN b/c he already has the decent quality guy traits down. I am pointing out that if he stops allowing himself to be so “nice” and available for women to walk over and develops some sort of GAME in his favor, he will actually push ahead of simply jerky loser player types who only bring to the table their sexual prowess and nothing more. The Beta guy can develop sexual prowess to an extent while still keeping the other desirable traits that QUALITY ATTRACTIVRE women seek in men – ample resources to give her and her potential offspring a good and decent quality life and lifestyle.

      The whole premise of this post relies on beta men using GAME to their advantage, yet not so completely doing away with what makes them desirable and superior as men. I have read too often beta men who are successful in many ways feeling BAD, ashamed and GUILTY for not being a loser. Well if you dig in the trash what do you think you’re going to find? Women who don’t appreciate good qualities!

      I pointed out that GAME is needed for Beta guys to be successful. I have also admitted that beta men need to develop more traits (that revolve around game) in having better success with women in the SMP. Such traits as confidence, body language, stronger frames, understanding his power and how to use it to his advantage etc.

      Also, being able to decipher amongst different kinds of women is KEY. Not all women are easily gamed for Pump and dumps. The way some PUA’s will have it, all attractive women are easily gamed for pump n dump kind of relationships and that is false. Also PUA’s seem to think all women fall for asshole/jerk type game – not true as well. Beta men need to be realistic and understand it will take different approaches for different women – nonetheless GAME in the sense he needs to know who he is seeking.

      The way I describe GAME and the way a PUA may describe game may be different. If a guy is in clubs and bars picking up trashy or drunken women, that’s not really GAME to me. If a guy is picking up 0-6 women for sexual encounters that is NOT GAME. If a guy is being an asshole or jerk to women to get laid then he is obviously going for a “certain” kind of woman that is already easily bedded b/c she damaged or has issues. Attractive women who are above average 7 and up are much harder to game and would not fall for complete hardcore asshole type approaches. This is not to say they would fall for the easy going nice guy approach either. In fact, real GAME is getting these women b/c they are often the constant object of male attention and therefore are not so easily bedded b/c they don’t need to sleep around with men to get male attention or affection unlike average or below average women or damaged women.
      So in essence NO not all women are the same. YES, all women require some sort of GAME or EDGE but it will be different depending on the type of women – that is my point.

      Like

      Reply

    • Marellus
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 06:06:45

      jbamai.

      Look below a bit later.

      Like

      Reply

  4. Neecy
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 16:38:16

    I gotta admit I flinched at your suggestion that black women embrace unappreciated beta white males. As many will attest on forums like tiredblackman.com, if black women can’t appreciate a good black man then what in the world makes you think they will appreciate a good white man?

    Good Black man vs. Good White man? That;s like comparing apples and oranges here. Not so b/c I think one is worse or better than the other, but what constitues “good” for each is much different.

    A “good Black man” as most Black men describe themselves (and most indoctrinated Black women and Black people in general) is a Black man with a job, all his teeth, and a functioning penis. IOW’s Black men are graded on a CURVE when it comes to the dating market.

    Most Black men (good or the ones with resources and halfway decent looks) these days are aware of how favorable the Black dating market is to him, and therefore simply being a man that has a good job, some resources and decent looks is the “pinnacle” of what Black people describe as a “good Black man”.

    Never is the CHARACTER of said “good black man” called into question or used as the true measuring rod on what makes him such a good man. Most “good Black men” take advantage of the upper hand they have in the dating arena in the Black community. What does that mean? They share themselves with DESPERATE Black women who have bought into the idea that they have no other options other than a Black male, or have been guilted into simply being available for Black men out of “cultural loyalty”, or b/c they have panicked in reading the numbers of Black women who will remain single b/c “Black men are an endangered species” (lol)

    Also, other so called “Good Black men” abandon Black women and communities the minute they have an opportunity and seek “greener pastures” in other races of women. “Good Black men” are not creating viable communities for his people, women and children – they leave. Good black men are rarely interested in policing his bretheren who terrorize Black women, Black children and Black communities. They run (while placing all the blame on the women) given the first chance to step away from their responsibilities as men to live better lives in other men’s communities (GOOD BETA WHITE MEN) with their women.

    “Good Black men” are not interested in pursuing Black women who are dark or “too black looking” and thus many of these women are left in the dust when it comes to competing for “GOOD BLACK MEN” in the dating arena b/c of the extreme colorism issues so many Black men have that favor the minority of women who are light or mixed or not even BLACK over the majority of traditional non-ambiguous looking Black women.

    “Good Black men” sit quietly as Black men and the rest of society shits on Black women and makes out to be the most horrible creatures walking earth. These “good Back men” either join in and/or simply remain quiet while Black women take a beating publically and socially.

    So now let’s compare that to traditional Good White men and why they’d be sooooooo appealing to quality Black women looking for GOOD MEN.

    Good White men don’t abandon their communites, woman and children. Good White men protect their women at all costs (even while these women are shitting on them and treating them like fresh 2 minute dog poop). They don’t play color games with their women (I have yet to meet any White women who feel they are not desirable to White men b/c they are ”too white looking”). Good White men truly seek to be a partner to their women and for the most part take pride in their offspring, and communities – this shows in how much their communities and children thrive overall.

    Good White men don’t take advantage of their women b/c they realize they are not a part of a dating market that skews in their favor as men. In fact, White dating markets skew heavily in favor of the WOMEN and not the MEN unlike Black communites. That is why so many Beta and decent White men will bend over backwards and turn themselves into pretzels to get a White woman – they have bought into the hype of White women’s “superiority as women” just the same as Black women have bought into the “hype” of Black males “superiority as men”.

    What I have found with White men who date interracially with Black women. They don’t judge her attractiveness by her skin color. In fact, a White man is more likely to date a very dark skinned Black woman than the average American Black man! Good White men provide a balance for quality Black women who want decent quality men that see her as an equal and a partner – not a piece of ass to be shared with a billion other women.

    Good White men do not have a dating market that skews in their favor, so they tend to be more humble and appreciative towards GOOD WOMEN who work with them and LOVE them and appreciate them as men. Good White men take responsibility for their actions b/c there are no passes made for them as men as is Black men. White men have no crutches to fall on if they are failures or fuck ups. They can’t blame Black men or Asian men for why they can’t or don’t succeed in life. Therefore, they seek to do the best they can b/c they know they have no other choice.

    While I believe there are a small number of good Black men out there, what I as a Black woman describe and see as a Good Black man is rare compared to what the majority of Black people or Black women would describe as a Good Black man. In my eyes, good Black men left the building 4 decades ago. Since then, its been about their own interests as men and no one else.

    Having said all of that – MEN ARE MEN. I do not believe White men are perfect in any sort and many do have issues and baggage among other not so desirable traits. I think Heartiste’s site gives a great example of this. White men like all men have their issues that differ from Black men. Black men may have some favorable traits that White men don’t have just as White men may have some favorable traits that Black men do not have. I have equally pointed where Black men fare in some instances over White males and vice versa.

    The point is, Black women need to understand they have the freedom and choice to date men of other races if they choose. The don’t need to feel exclusively confined to one race of men – especially if that race of men is not exclusively confined to them. Black women should feel okay To seek out what it is in a man they feel they may not or cannot get from Black men, or simply b/c they just want a White man. Black men apply this same SELFISH principle when it comes to pursuing what makes them happy without GUILT, and I don’t hate on them for it – in fact i encourage Black women to apply this same principle to thier lives and such.

    A Black woman’s choice to date a White man should never have anything to do with Black men, it should have more to do with the fact that she sees something desirable in other races of men JUST AS Black men have so clearly made a point to show they too have desire for other races of women.

    Like

    Reply

    • Zorro
      Jan 09, 2012 @ 16:57:42

      Neecy knows my real name (she also knows…big secret here…that I’m not actually a moose that lives in a swamp…I’m a real live middle-aged white dooooooooood).

      My last name is Scottish. And it’s a tad famous in Scotland. There is a town named after my name. But, contrary to conventional wisdom, it doesn’t mean “son of—“. My family was never a clan in Scotland. We were above clans.

      You ever heard of “to get off Scot free?” That was my family that did that. The MacD—s were the only family that was allowed to crown the king of Scotland. We were the only family allowed to rule the Scottish Army against the English (fuck you, Mel Gibson). And if a Scot killed one of my family, we were granted exclusive right to kill them back in retribution and then, if we managed to get to the local abbot (priest, pastor, holy dooooood) and pay them a fee, you couldn’t kill us and we couldn’t be arrested for murder. Because we are MacD—s. And we, back then in Scotland, were THE SHIT!

      My name, in its original Scots dialect, is Macdubish, and that means “He who is black or darkly colored.” No shit. I’m black.

      And I wanna SWIRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

      GIRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!

      Like

      Reply

      • Zorro
        Jan 09, 2012 @ 17:11:19

        …he said, shaking his kilt-covered booty around the studio audience…

        I will survive
        as long as i know how to love
        I know I will stay alive
        I’ve got all my life to live
        I’ve got all my love to give
        and I’ll survive
        I will survive…

        God, but I do love this blog!!!

        Like

        Reply

      • Mark Slater
        Jan 09, 2012 @ 22:23:04

        Yes, my friend Zorro Primo; my [British] ancestors really had their hands full with your tribe. And I know that you are a real human being; but still, I cannot help but picture you as a 900-pound Bull Moose wearing a kilt!

        In fact, I thought of you when I saw this gem:

        Like

        Reply

  5. MK
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 17:36:02

    demanding respect for the things he is bringing to the table, demanding reciprocation in all relationships, and start focusing on his social skills even before trying “GAME”.

    Good advice here now one can take advantage of anyone if you don’t let yourself be an easy mark. Value yourself or no one else will is a simple but somehow underutilized lesson.

    Like

    Reply

  6. omerta327
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 19:48:02

    I dunno, Neece. I think you articulated this point better in your ‘monkey in the middle post a couple months back.

    Although I generally get what you’re saying, and you do make some good points, I don’t agree w/ your definition of a ‘beta male’. You make it sound as if a beta is any old good all around guy who doesn’t go around trying to get some stank on his hang-low from the nearest available poon.

    In my opinion, a beta is a guy who lacks the confidence and social skills to get what he really wants – whether it’s women, wealth, power, a good job, etc.

    If a beta male works on himself, builds himself and his confidence up, learns some game and gets his social skills up to par, and most importantly, INTERNALIZES these concepts to the point where he’s making strides in his life, then is it still ‘beta game’?

    The answer is no. Why? Because at this point, the guy ceases to be beta. He may not be ALPHA, but he’s at least cleared that beta hurdle.

    Plus, there are plenty of guys out there who could be considered on the more alpha side of things that have the so-called beta traits – caring, nurturing, taking care of their families / neighborhoods, etc. That’s not beta or alpha, that’s just common decency. And most of these guys aren’t trying to f*ck everything that moves, either. What these alphas are doing is simply being leaders in their households and their communities.

    You say what good, undamaged women want is a nice, solid beta guy with some game. I say they’ll settle for that, but what they really want is basically an alpha who doesn’t act like a dick.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 09, 2012 @ 21:15:31

      You say what good, undamaged women want is a nice, solid beta guy with some game. I say they’ll settle for that, but what they really want is basically an alpha who doesn’t act like a dick.

      I don’t agree AT ALL. Its not as simple as women not wanting “a guy who acts like a dick”. Women want good men they can depend on and count on to be faithful and good providers. Today’s “ALPHA” is not that MAN!

      The way the term Alpha is thrown around today it is CERTAINLY not representative of what ORIGINAL Alpha male meant. Alpha today means how many women you can screw and game. PERIOD. It has nothing to do with being good men who provide for families etc. That is what the BETA man is.

      Yes we obviously have different definitions of Alpha and Beta and this seems to be the issue. I guess beta to the average male or guy is a loser who doesn’t have shit going for himself b/c he’s a dweeb. THAT IS NOT MY DEFINITION.

      Either way i am no longer writing about either anymore.

      Like

      Reply

      • omerta327
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 07:46:35

        Women want good men they can depend on and count on to be faithful and good providers. Today’s “ALPHA” is not that MAN!… Alpha today means how many women you can screw and game. PERIOD.

        Wow. That’s an extremely narrow definition.

        While I agree that good women want a guy who’s dependable and a good provider, I disagree that a guy who has these traits is automatically not alpha per your definition.

        A strong, confident man who is the leader of his household, makes the decisions, loves and provides for his wife and kids and sets a good life example for them, and is active in the bettering of his neighborhood / community (policemen, firefighters, EMTs, etc.), isn’t alpha cuz he’s not banging every chick in sight?

        And what of the guy who IS gaming and banging lots of women, he’s automatically alpha? What if he’s doing it to deal with deep emotional scars from his childhood? Or trying to fill a void in his life? Or because he’s bitter at the girls who rejected him before he became “alpha”? Doesn’t sound very alpha to me.

        I guess beta to the average male or guy is a loser who doesn’t have shit going for himself b/c he’s a dweeb.

        I never defined it that way either.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:04:41

          Omerta,

          The definitions of “ALPHA” that I am using are the terms that the manosphere uses. That is b/c YOU defined a beta type as the kinds of men that the manosphere disparages. So yes, when looking at it from the angle of how men from the menosphere today define “ALPHAS” yes these men are solely out to get sex from women.

          Now if you are talking about what I define as the ORIGINAL and true ALPHA males – then yes they would be the guy that takes care of his family, community etc. as you pointed out. But unfortunatley the terms of beta and Alpha in this post are being misconstrued so i am not sure if it worth it anymore to even discuss the terms.

          Many of you (you, Mark, Jbamai) came on here accusing me of saying that beta men did not need game. HUH? Honestly I wonder if any of you besdies Liza, Mr. Natural and Marellus even read the post b/c i CLEARLY stated that beta men could push themselves up to Alpha like status if they tweaked and changed a few things. I *NEVER* said anything about beta men not needing game. the title of the post was BETA GAME.

          Also I do not AGREE that women “settle” when they choose to be with a traditional beta type. but then again, what you and i define as beta are two different things.

          From here on out I am no longer using the terms b/c its obvious my definition and everyone else’s defintions of Alpha and Beta are quite different.

          Like

          Reply

          • omerta327
            Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:19:01

            ,Now if you are talking about what I define as the ORIGINAL and true ALPHA males – then yes they would be the guy that takes care of his family, community etc. as you pointed out.

            That’s exactly what I’m saying.

            Many of you (you, Mark, Jbamai) came on here accusing me of saying that beta men did not need game. HUH?

            Huh?, indeed. I NEVER said that. Show me where I did.

            Honestly I wonder if any of you besdies Liza, Mr. Natural and Marellus even read the post b/c i CLEARLY stated that beta men could push themselves up to Alpha like status if they tweaked and changed a few things.

            That’s exactly what I said betas should do in my original response.

            And really, now you’re going to claim I don’t fully read your posts? I read every word of your post and put a lot of thought into my response. For you to say that makes me mad.

            Like

            Reply

            • omerta327
              Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:21:47

              Ah, screw it. Whatever…

              Like

              Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:28:44

              Well how do you think i feel when people accuse me of saying Beta Men don’t need game when all throughout the post i was telling them ways in which *I* felt they needed game to succeed?

              Then I am accused of having “cognative dissodance” by some stranger and all of you rush to his defense.

              maybe I just need to step away from the computer today b/c i am not feeling well and I’m cranky and emotional……..

              Like

              Reply

  7. Mark Slater
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 22:11:55

    Ahh, it’s a full moon; therefore it’s that time for intellectual/argumentative Neecy. New moon, apparently, is the time for Horny Neecy, wherein even the sight of mating bugs on the windshield will set her drooling and rendering rational thought impossible for her.

    Two things immediately struck me about this post:

    1. There are a lot of decent Beta Dudes who are coming home to cold, empty homes. White women are kicking these White Betas out to the curb.
    At the same time, there are large numbers of Black women who aren’t being loved at all. Some statistics say that 42% of ALL Black women remain unmarried.

    The solution would seem to present itself.

    A lot of beta men are bitter as they reach ages where they have either wisened up and/or achieved some sort of success and now have an opportunity to get the kinds of women that have been so elusive to him in the past. Its understandable why Beta guys would look to the women their age and want to ridicule them for aging and such, but recognize that bitterness and baggage *WILL* keep you from getting to your full potential in the SMP with the women you desire. Bitterness is not only a nasty taste in one’s own mouth, its reeks from those who carry it around smugly. Better believe if you are a beta or reformed beta who gets off on constantly bashing the women who are now older and who ignored or mistreated you in your earlier years – you will never win. Those women lived their lives for better or worse and had their fun. Are you living your life and having fun if you are focusing on women past a certain age who don’t even know you exist?

    2. We must understand the difference between BITTERNESS and DISCERNMENT. A man who has reached the age of 35 or even thirty ought to be able to discern the difference between a used-up Alpha cock-chaser and a decent, attractive woman of maturity who for whatever reason is still available for courtship. Being bitter is easy and somewhat instinctive but a reasonable man should be able to govern his baser instincts. Used up Alpha cock-chasers ought to be simply ignored most of the time (with the exception being to warn younger men of this species of female). Bitterness gets one nowhere. Save the energy for women who deserve it (there must be one or two somewhere).

    Hell, game transcends this whole battle of the sexes and can be used to influence and persuade men and women alike. So for you to say that only a “certain type” of woman falls prey to this is ludicrous.

    I’m afraid I must agree with Mr. “Just-be-a-Man-About-it”. Game is primeval. What we do with it depends upon the honor of the individual.

    You say what good, undamaged women want is a nice, solid beta guy with some game. I say they’ll settle for that, but what they really want is basically an alpha who doesn’t act like a dick.

    As usual, Omerta’s analysis is spot on. There is a great tendency among women to view Betas as wholly irredemable in the SMP and wish to see the already attractive Alphas clean up their act.

    I leave you with this to consider: the fundamental essence of game, brought to you by The Four Seasons…

    “Walk like a man, talk like a man,
    Walk like a man, my son.
    No woman’s worth
    Crawling on the earth,
    So walk like a man, my son”

    Like

    Reply

    • Marellus
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 04:36:11

      Mark.

      How did you become aware of Game and the attendant MRA movement ? In other words : How did you swallow the so called “Red Pill” ?

      Like

      Reply

      • Mark Slater
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:38:32

        Marellus,
        I guess I’ve always been instinctively aware of the rudiments of Game, at least since late adolescence/early adulthood.

        Found Chateau Heartiste (then called Roissy in D.C.) a couple of years ago. He presents “Game Theory” in a way that is more systematic and less fear-ridden. However, I detest the apparent amorality of the man. There are sites and blogs out there (in addition to Neecy’s Nest) that channels game theory and practice into more noble objectives (love and marriage). If I may, here are two of the best:

        Dalrock (from a Christian perspective)
        http://dalrock.wordpress.com/

        Married Man Sex Life
        http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/

        As for “Men’s Rights”, never much took it seriously. I’ve grown tired of all the various groups demanding their “rights” at the expense of everybody else.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:49:17

          I agree Mark, there are waay too many groups out there demanding rights. Just do whatever it is that would make your group progress and shut up already! I think people just want others to give them everything fir their happiness instead of trying to see it out themselves.

          Like

          Reply

        • Marellus
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:52:24

          I’ll take a look at those sites. Thanks.

          Like

          Reply

    • omerta327
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:43:03

      As usual, Omerta’s analysis is spot on. There is a great tendency among women to view Betas as wholly irredemable in the SMP and wish to see the already attractive Alphas clean up their act.

      Thanks, Mark.

      All I said was that a good, hard-working guy isn’t necessarily a beta, just as a guy who games and beds lots of women isn’t necessarily alpha. That’s all.

      Like

      Reply

    • bgurrl
      Jun 20, 2015 @ 10:40:09

      Well, when you really look at the fact that the whole Alpha/Beta stuff comes from a misunderstanding it makes you rethink everything. There is a scientist who wrote about wolves. He wrote about the whole Alpha thing and the betas fighting to become Alpha etc. Turns out he was wrong. What he saw were wolves in captivity. Then years later he saw wolves in the wild and learned they live very different lives than the ones in captivity and they are a family unit not much unlike humans. Parents, Kids, uncles, aunts etc. What he also found out is that mom and dad are the alpha and the children are the beta. When the children go off and start their own families. They then become the alphas and their children the betas and so on.

      Like

      Reply

  8. Mr Natural
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 23:49:18

    Hi Neecy. Found your site from a comment you left at Halima’s place.

    FWIW, you’ve described the different kinds of men and women pretty much as I’ve found them to be. Maybe the alpha and beta labels mean different things to different people, but when I read your essay above I knew exactly what you were talking about.

    Speaking as an old wm, I’d say the ‘beta’ males you describe are just ordinary, normally masculine men. These guys are oriented towards having a home and family of their own, and they go about doing what it takes to get it. Invariably, they learn a trade or get an education that will allow them to support a family or at least be the main provider. Guys like that light up the radar of (undamaged) women with the same goals.

    In my work, I’ve seen many a just-graduated engineer join companies I was with. In spite of being professional geeks with none of the ‘social skills’ required to pick up girls in bars and clubs .. in a few years, most were married. Often to a woman they met on the job or met in a job-related activity. Classic case: Bill Gates married his secretary. Anyway, that’s what I know; other lines of work may be different.

    This is a great blog! Consider me a new follower … wait, does that mean I’m a ‘beta’? 😀

    Like

    Reply

    • liza207
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 07:42:14

      Hi Mr. Natural!

      Thanks for dropping by!

      You got exactly the point, Neecy was making with this post. I think she did an excellent job in making it. You must not be from the manosphere where they are consistently spewing anti-beta male rhetoric.

      “Speaking as an old wm, I’d say the ‘beta’ males you describe are just ordinary, normally masculine men. These guys are oriented towards having a home and family of their own, and they go about doing what it takes to get it. Invariably, they learn a trade or get an education that will allow them to support a family or at least be the main provider.”
      ——–
      Yes, this is exactly the beta male Neecy and I are describing here. An actual beta male, the men they are disparaging in the manosphere are most likely omega men, in my opinion.

      “Guys like that light up the radar of (undamaged) women with the same goals”
      ——
      Yes, they do. Since you are from Halima’s blog, you must be aware that most black women are partnered primarily with white beta males, they are VERY HAPPY with these men, and their marriages are among the most successful. In addition, you must be aware that black women are constantly raving about these men on various black women empowerment blogs. White beta men are very much appreciated by us (black women).

      “In my work, I’ve seen many a just-graduated engineer join companies I was with. In spite of being professional geeks with none of the ‘social skills’ required to pick up girls in bars and clubs .. in a few years, most were married. Often to a woman they met on the job or met in a job-related activity.”
      ———-
      Another excellent point about betas males are that they usually well employed / educated (the doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, engineers, IT specialists and so on). Their looks can range from a 1-10 on the attractiveness scale. They are usually mild mannered, respectful, accommodating, humble and so on. The only thing holding them back from being successful with women is their lack of social skills, we believe if they just worked on that—they would be unstoppable in attracting any woman they desired.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:23:50

        Liza,

        THANK YOU AS WELL!! You get EXACTLY what I was pointing out and who i was talking about in this post. Where the heck everyone came in with this saying I said beta men didn’t need game is mind boggling. The POSTS TITLE WAS “BETA GAME” the whole premise of the post was to point out what would make Beta men more successful without them having to completely re-wire themselves into the kinds of IDIOTS and ASSHOLES that are celebrated and taught on PUA forums.

        Why should already ACCOMPLISHED, QUALITY, INTELLIGENT, REASONABLE, DECENT, ESTABLISHED, men change completely to get sex most likley from the trashy women that roam out there today???? just to sleep with women who have been so overly pedestalized they have grown bored with Good men who treat them right?

        The fact is there *ARE* women who love the kinds of beta men I am talking about and these women are NOT SETTTLING!

        The *ONLY* resal probs I see with th etraditional Beta guy is that he is normally overly shy or not very confident. Those are things that can be fixed and worked on with time and that is why I was saying beta guys dont need to change much expect working on their social skills, confidence, how they interact with women and to stop allowing shitty women to use and walk over them.

        Like

        Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:13:28

      MR. NATURAL – I don’t know where you hail from, but you must be sent from HEAVAN ABOVE!!!!

      LOL
      As Liza so graciously pointed out as well – You actually GET IT!

      You completely and ACCURATLEY defined and understood the kind of Beta men I am talking about. As Liza said, I believe many of the White males from the PUA sites and manosphere hold Beta men in very negative regards b/c they feel these men are why White women won’t sleep with White men. Pure baloney. I have to learn to seperate what the goals and missions of the PUA community and Manosphere is from what most other normal sane men want from women.

      These men are frustrated b/c they seek to get laid by WOMEN. PERIOD. Their end goal is mostly to get sexed by the most sought after and/or hot trashy type women who only give it up to guys who act like complete IDIOTS. SO yes, they will have a complete defimition of what it means to be that kind of guy that gets those kinds of women.

      As i have stated before, Beta guys (the ones you, I and liza define as beta) are *NOT* the problem in the Sexual market place. its finicky simple minded ENTITLED and spoiled and overly pedestalized BORED White women whom have grown accostomed to being pedestalized by the average Good Beta White guy, and seeks excitement in more so called “ALPHA” types who are super aggressive, rude and treat them like garbage.

      Good beta White men are very much attractive to many Black women. Black women are not “bored” or tired of beig overly pedestalized by GOOD MEN B/C Black women never have been pedestalized or treated decent for the most part by our men. It makes sense that decent and quality Black women do look out for Good beta White men b/c they appareciate GOOD WOMEN who treat them well and don’t look down on them and appreciate them as men and the great qualities they bring to the table.

      As Liza pointed out, many Black women dating and married to White men are married to these Beta types – not assholes and jerks. Go to ANY Black women’s interracial forum and ALLLL of the husbands, fiances and b/f’s of these women are typically what I would define as TRADITIONAL BETA type Whiet males who are quite successful in thier careers. These women are not “settling” in any way shape or form. Their lives and the lives of thier future bi racial offspring are ENHANCED by hooking up and marrying these kinds of White males.

      Like

      Reply

  9. Marellus
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 01:48:47

    Neecy.

    From this article :

    If you’ve ever visited Asia, you’ve likely seen the pale, rail-thin, greasy-haired white boy walking hand-in hand with a perfectly made-up, mini-skirt wearing Asian chick. This would never happen anywhere else in the world. Because everywhere else, Barbie ends up with Ken, not his underemployed, socially-awkward, samurai-sword-collecting neighbor, Kevin. But in Asia, dating rules defy all logic or evolutionary law. In Asia, the nerd is king.

    Not that I wished it otherwise. For the most part, I was happy for them. These men wouldn’t have been able to score a date at home if they’d been a calender but in Asia they’d nabbed the prom queen. They were true success stories. Who could blame them for taking advantage of a magical loophole that allowed them to date women out of their league? If such a nirvana existed for Western woman, I’m sure I’d have moved there too.

    But although the occasional coupling sparked the “Is she really going out with him?” question, it was easy to understand why Japanese woman saw Western men – even the nerdy ones – as attractive dating prospects. They were straight-forward and open-minded, for one thing. And through their Western, wire-rimmed eyes, they viewed relationships as an equal partnership, which was something the more traditional, close-minded of Japanese men still struggled to do. I figured that so long as they treated their girlfriends well and both partners were happy with the arrangement, what did it matter if their peculiar quirks and bizarre comments got lost in translation a little? Even the socially awkward deserved to love and be loved.

    Yes, the white betas must “Man Up” to get their white women. But it seems there are other markets, that would scoop them up, just as they are : Asians, Latins, and Africans. And you’re a proponent of this.

    Essentially the white race is a dying race. I’ll say it again : The white race is a dying race !!! We’re going the way of the Romans. And I’m totally apathetic to this.

    Any race, any civilization, can survive if its men go feral. But God help them if the women goes feral. After all Neecy : “Mother is the Name of God on the lips of all children”

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:46:04

      Marellus,

      Great snippet you posted and speaks exactly to what i am getting at. For the White men who want to save themselves from the madness, they may have to start expanding their horizons to other races of women as well as pro creating with other races of women if he wants a legacy of any sort.

      A particualr group who is good for doing this is Nordic White men from Sweden and the Nordic countries. There are so many marriage aged, child bearing aged Black women from the USA who are being snatched up and married by these men its not even funny. If I were younger I would have already been over in those countries finding my Nordic husband.

      Its so much potential for these Beta type White men as husband over there you have Young Black women setting up TRIPS to these countries to go and hopefully find husbands there to marry. Some have even gone as far as to go various routes to seek some kind of citizenship over there.

      A lot of Black women on Interracial forums are sharing thier love stories with the men they have found for love and a lot of these men suprisingly are from Nordic countries. And these men are TRADITIONAL BETA men and they not not FUGLIES.

      And best believe these are REAL men who know how to take care of their women and children and who are the best husbands any woman could want. In return they get Black women who APPRECIATE them and love them for the true men they are.

      These men want a legacy and wives. if they can’t find it within htier own race, they have no qualms going out looking for love in other races of women. And thank God for Black women, these men have no problem marrying us.

      Like

      Reply

  10. liza207
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 07:59:55

    “In addition, the traditional White Beta male has been the glue and the backbone of Western White culture, White women, White children, and White communities. Very similar to the American Black woman. The reason White society is able to thrive is not b/c of the Players and Alphas out banging hot trashy women in clubs and bars, not b/c of the overly pedestaled and entitled women who do nothing but keep their hands out expecting the best for crappy behavior, but b/c of the Beta men (who put up with the formers) and who for better or for worse have channeled more of their masculine energies into creating societies that thrive.”
    ——-
    With the anti-beta male sentiments of the MRA movement, it seems as if the white men who are partaking in this movement want to eliminate betas, as if, they are all that is wrong with society—completely irrational. This, in my opinion, would contribute greatly to their downfall but that is on them. You know what they say about getting what you wish for.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:32:15

      With the anti-beta male sentiments of the MRA movement, it seems as if the white men who are partaking in this movement want to eliminate betas, as if, they are all that is wrong with society—completely irrational. This, in my opinion, would contribute greatly to their downfall but that is on them. You know what they say about getting what you wish for.

      YEP! And all for what? some ass from a bunch of trashy average looking women? LOL If they want to self destruct let em. To sit and disparage the very kinds of White men that keep their White asses as a people afloat and living and thriving is UTTERLY STUPID. Just so they can get laid? LMAO….

      If they were REALLY smart they would stop pandering to these White chicks who won’t pay them any attention and start expanding their horizons to other races of women and watch how QUICKLY those same White women suddenly start changing up to get them back b/c White women now (just like Black men) feel they have White men in the bag and they aint going nowhere for the most part.

      White women also know in the back of their minds what side their bread is buttered on and its THE BETA WHITE MAN SIDE! The minute they start losing these Beta men is when and ONLY WHEN they will straighten up.

      You wanna see a White woman squirm about losing some of er good men, let her see them on the arms of attractive Black women.

      But these White men are so adamant about twisting htemselve sinto pretzels to please these ungrateful women of thiers and are even willing to LOSE qualities that have kept them as WHite people AHEAD and thriving so they can get LAID by more silly ass women?

      Unbeleivable!

      The smarter of the White men are saying to hell with that shit, and are finding women of other races and Black women who love their dirty beta drawls and appreciate the stability, equalness, respect, reasonability, humbleness, and LOVE for GOOD DECNT women who appreciate the. REAL women with common damn sense understand what these beta types bring to the table, and Black women who are able are snatching these WHite men up like a 1 day sale at the local mall.

      Like

      Reply

  11. liza207
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:18:33

    “While I know gamers, PUA’s and players are loathe to admit that it really is a specific certain kind of woman that falls for their games and are easily bedded, a Beta guy can stay one step ahead of the game recognizing the differences in…”
    ——
    The kind of women, who are complete trash and are average or low average in looks. It seems that the looks of white women are graded on some kind of curve.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:38:40

      Yep just like Black men are graded on a curve in the SMP. Black women will swear up and down some average below average Black man that barely brings anything to the table is ALL THAT. SMH. lol

      Like

      Reply

      • Firepower
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 11:37:36

        both you sistas are dead wrong wrong wrong. theres a lot of difference between white alphas and black alphas – especially in how BAPS respond to us.

        you need to experience MORE – you’ll see

        Like

        Reply

  12. Marellus
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:28:35

    jbamai.

    From your blog :

    The ultimate barometer in how well a man has successfully integrated his masculine traits is in how he relates to the opposite sex.

    and later this :

    A man who can successfully deal with females and makes this his life focus is not reaching his full potential as a man.

    I smell a contradiction.

    Let’s test your theory via the route of hypothesis & conclusion, while examining converse and contrapositive.

    What do I mean by the above, you’re asking ? Let me demonstrate to you, by using a simple theory :

    Theorem
    Hypothesis : Someone is a lawyer.
    Hence …
    Conclusion : That someone is a bastard.

    Do you disagree ? Good luck proving otherwise …

    Now what is the converse of this theory ? Well, you take the hypothesis and conclusion and switch them around. So this is what happens then :

    Converse
    Hypothesis : Someone is a bastard.
    Hence …
    Conclusion : That someone is a lawyer.

    And if you know your stuff, you’ll know that the converse of any theorem is NOT ALWAYS TRUE. You have to prove the converse explicitly, or give a counter-example. In this case the counter-example is simple.

    Some bastards are POLITICIANS !!!

    But the contrapositive of any theorem is ALWAYS TRUE. In fact, if you wanna prove a theorem explicitly, and you’re having problems, all you have to do is to prove the contrapositive. And what is the contrapositive ? Well, you take the converse and and you put the word “NOT” in both the hypothesis and conclusion. And that means this :

    Contrapositive
    Hypothesis : Someone is NOT a bastard.
    Hence …
    Conclusion : That someone is NOT a lawyer.

    This is always true. So let’s apply this methodology to what you’ve written :

    Theory
    Hypothesis : The man has successfully integrated his masculine traits.
    Hence …
    Conclusion :The man is successful with women.

    Hmmmmm, so what is the converse then ? You switch the hypothesis and conclusion around. And that means this :

    Converse
    Hypothesis : The man is successful with women.
    Hence …
    Conclusion : The man has successfully integrated his masculine traits.

    And I’m sure you know by now that the converse of any theorem is not necessarily true. In real life this means I just have to find one counter-example to prove this. Not very hard methinks. You’re looking for a successful womanizer that’s not very masculine.

    Neil Strauss comes to mind. There will be others.

    But the veracity of any theory must ALSO support its contrapositve. And what is the contrapositive again ? Well hell, you just take the converse and put the word “NOT” in both the hypothesis and conclusion. And that means this :

    Contrapositive
    Hypothesis : The man is NOT successful with women.
    Hence …
    Conclusion : The man has NOT successfully integrated his masculine traits.

    Remember jbamai, if a theorem is true, then it’s contrapositive is ALWAYS true. And sometimes the best way to prove a theorem, is to prove the contraposive. And if the contrapositive fails, the theory fails.

    And in your case to prove your theory via the contrapositive, you must say that all losers with women are mal-integrated in their masculine traits. Bullshit.

    D.H Lawrence was quite successful with women. T.E Lawrence wasn’t.

    You’re selling Alpha Juice :

    “Just drink some of this Alpha Juice, and brotha, you’re gonna get laid. You’ll get your promotion, smite fearsome dragons, you’ll belch at Wall-Mart, and then be invited to perform at Carnegie Hall … where you will be-knicker those whimsical wenches with thine uproarious armpit hair !!!”

    Game was INVENTED by betas. Game is FOR betas. Game is practised BY betas. Game tells a beta that it is NOT NECESSARY to become an Alpha. And its core concepts are so simple :

    Teasing, push-pull, screening, not supplicating, cocky-funny ( you’re not funny by the way ), and oh yes, negging.

    (Now Now Neecy, I know what you think of negging … but I’m always gonna believe that my arse is sexier than yours … sowwy … but at least your’s is sexier than Halle Berry’s … yes, I looked … no, I’m sure … you want me to take a look at Halle again ?! … all right … but first you’re gonna give me a pillow to put on my lap … thanks … Neecy, why am I not looking at Ol’ Halle’s arse ? … cheater …)

    Game is a method. And you’re proponent of some kind of dogma. I don’t like dogmas.

    So why the hell should I want to drink Alpha Juice then ? I don’t like its taste. And I don’t want to make history. I just want to see it with someone special in my arms.

    Take a look at my Toba Selection Theory and the Provider vs Survivor article. Your cognitive dissonance is somewhat entertaining.

    Too much Alpha Juice ma’ china : You’ve become condescending.

    Like

    Reply

  13. liza207
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:45:21

    Neecy, I also want to address your point about the kind of women who are falling for PUA’s. Women who are actually hot/beautiful are much harder to game. If you are a hot/beautiful you are constantly being gamed–every f**king day of your life since puberty. So that means you have heard just about every come-on line or technique ever invented to get your draws off. You are offered: trips, free services, money, jobs, jewelry, cars and so on. Men will do and say just about anything to get you in bed. You are being offered some guy’s d**k everyday and all day. Your being told you are beautiful just about everyday of your life. That is how it is for actual beautiful women. So some schlub walking up to you in club and saying “you look fat in that dress “isn’t going to get it. Or some guy pretending he isn’t chatting you up because he thinks you’re beautiful will be dismissed.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:55:34

      BINGO! That is why I say they are gaming girls who are not used to male attention or who have always had to use SEX as a way to get it. Women who are above average and higher are not so easily gamed. You can’t play those games with them UNLESS they are severly damaged ( and yes there are some really damaged beautiful women out there).

      I look at these young and really attractive, cute and bubbly WHite, Asian, Hispanic, Black (the more Whitewashed ones) girls in the malls out with their b/f’s and they guys they are arm and arm with. These guys aint that PLAYER in the club running game.

      These are average beta nice guys who have some sort of exciting quality that the girl likes. These girls you can also tell come from most likely stable homes and families and would never fall for some IDIOT treating them like garbage to get sex. of course there may be ONE in a group of 10 who would fall victim to these kinds of men but the majority of young, attractive bubbly cute girls out there today are not banging assholes and jerks. I make a POINT to specifically observe the pairings of young women whom I would deem 7 and up of any race, and the kinds of guys they are with.

      For the most part I feel its wrong to make beta WHite men feel they are missing out. THEY really AREN’T – unless they want average chicks who everyone’s banging and who require being treated like shit to get “turned on”.

      Like

      Reply

    • omerta327
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:23:54

      You are being offered some guy’s d**k everyday and all day.

      Careful, Liza, that’s from a Chris Rock bit. 😯

      Like

      Reply

  14. Neecy
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:18:17

    I’m sorry I even made this post at this point. I really don’t think anyone read it and just assumed I was telling beta men they didn’t need game.

    i spend a lot of time making these posts and for people to accuse me of stuff when its obvious they did not read the post is really frustrating.

    Like

    Reply

  15. Neecy
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:47:22

    I know what happened! I didn’t do my usual mention about BLOW JOBS in this post. That’s why everything has gone haywire!

    Like

    Reply

  16. liza207
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:51:51

    Ha! Our “budding relationship”. You just gotta love him. I just know his imagination is just running wild picturing that “budding relationship”. Yeah, he likes the thought of that.

    Like

    Reply

  17. liza207
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:55:01

    That is it BLOW JOBS. In the future, write whatever you want about men and just drop the term in every paragraph.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 09:59:44

      ehehehee! How hilarious would that be? I gotta work it in almost every post. it wouldn’t be a true Neecy nest post without mention of it in someway, shape or fashion. If I deter from that, things get off balance.

      Like

      Reply

  18. Mr Natural
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:06:01

    Liza, Neecy, you ladies do know how to make a man feel at home 🙂

    But I didn’t just drop out of the sky, no; my oldest son married a black girl he met when they were both in the army and after my grand daughter arrived I figured I should educate myself about her mother’s side of the family, so to speak. About 5 or 6 years ago I ran across WAOD when Gina had just been up for a year or two, and became a regular there. And from there I found Evia and Halima, also Aimee, Sara, Khadija, a few others. On those blogs (blogspot) I posted as ‘arthur’. (my name).

    So anyway, I’ve learned about what the bc has become, what bw have been up against, and have some background with the whole IR situation. Still have hopes of finding a nice Sister to join forces with myself.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:17:33

      Aww Arthur we are happy to have you here and I look forward to your input on the discussions!. Espcially since you have been well seasoned on Black women b/c all of those blogs are wonderful places for a WHite guy to learn about Black women if he is interested in dating one.

      Please excuse me today. I am trying to shake off the last remnats of a pesky cold/flu and got a little on the cranky side. That is not my normal self as I like to have fun round these parts.

      Half the time the discussion ends up being rarely about what the actual post is about.

      Oh and i have to warn yuou. i publically ovulate and have moments of insane horniness that I love to share with my blogees. Just cover your eyes if that happens – it usually dissapates within a day or two. hehehe!! 😛

      Oh and i hope you don’t have a problem with blow jobs, cause for some ODD reason I talk about them a lot. 😕

      I think I covered everything!!!

      Like

      Reply

      • omerta327
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:27:04

        Nope. You forgot to mention that blow jobs are HAWT. 😉

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:32:54

          LOL mmm hmm of course they are. 😉 When its not you who feels like you are getting lockjaw! 😡

          OMG How could I forget to mention my use of the word “HAWT” in every other sentence!.

          Like

          Reply

      • Mr Natural
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 13:26:21

        Ok, I’ll be ready for anything.

        But I am behind the curve on some of the terms in use here .. PUA could be ‘pick up artist’ but MRA = ??. Tia

        Like

        Reply

        • liza207
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 13:41:04

          Hi Mr. Natural!

          Yes, PUA means ‘Pick-Up Artist’ and MRA means ‘Men’s Rights Association’.

          Like

          Reply

          • Zorro
            Jan 10, 2012 @ 22:41:50

            MRA means Men’s Rights Activist(s).

            Association??? Um…no.

            Just being all pedantic here. No offense.

            Like

            Reply

            • liza207
              Jan 11, 2012 @ 07:06:48

              To be honest, I really had no idea what the “A” stood for.

              Like

              Reply

              • Mr Natural
                Jan 11, 2012 @ 07:27:29

                The main thing about ‘MRA’ is the ‘MR’ part referring to the Men’s Rights movement, which I know something about. That gives the context I was looking for, so thanks to you both.

                Like

                Reply

                • liza207
                  Jan 11, 2012 @ 07:43:51

                  I think one of the big issues that the Men’s Rights movement has with beta males is their constant support of feminism. It appears that a lot of beta males have been siding with feminist when it comes them pushing their agendas which many men feel is slowly diminishes their rights as men. But the ironic thing is, betas are the men who are suffering the most due to feminism. At some point, beta males have to get a clue and give up the white-knighting.

                  I would never date or sex any man that referred to himself as a feminist…yuck!

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 11, 2012 @ 08:16:55

                    Liza I completely agree. But beta men just like African American women have been indoctrinated from birth. They have been raised and told they have to support the “special” members of thier groups (White women and Black men). Beta men are told and made to feel that White women are special and are needed for the survival and happiness of the collective “WHITE RACE” and that they are “weak, helpless”. Black women have been told the same thing about Black men – they are weak, helpless and need to be protected at all costs for the “collective” and race.

                    So like good willing and often times STUPID soldiers these two groups continue to sacrfice at the expense of themselveds as individuals and their own gender (Beta men contributing towards the loss of rights of men and Black women contributing towards the lack of protection and rights for Black women and girls). They are actually creating a bigger monster by catering to these two groups in their race who only seek to do things for thier own benefits and behalf. Like you said the bigest losers in all of this are ironically the very people who keep helping to perpetuate their madness (Feminism and coddling of Black men).

                    What Beta White men and Black American women need to get through thier thick skulls if you cannot save a race or culture ALONE! if the other half is not willing to equally sacrifice for the collective it (survival) aint gonna happen! WHY? b/C the fed up memebers of the genders getting the shaft will either eventually stop giving a shit and go their own ways or start procreating and mating with other race/cultures and groups of women and men who appreciate them.

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • liza207
                      Jan 11, 2012 @ 08:36:33

                      The parallels between black women and beta white men are so uncanny, is it not? I mean, wow.

                      I have never really been a sista soldier type of black women but I do remember other black women attempting to indoctrinate me. When I was around certain black women, I remember having to be careful of not saying anything about black male behavior that I found offensive or not sounding pro-black men. I would some serious side-eyes when I did.

                      I could not stand to hear black women refer to black men as “our men”. I would actually wince–I just could not hide how much I hated hearing that.

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 11, 2012 @ 08:43:30

                      Yes the similarities are just amazing. Goes to show if you indoctrinate someone long enough you can get them to sacrifice themselves and those like them for others who aint doing shit for them

                      The sad thing is Liza. There are still many Black women like us but they are too chicken shit to admit to openly say how they really feel. They w \ould rather either pretend its not happening while they continue to see Black women suffer and lose out than open their damn mouths and stop supporting the madness.

                      Like

        • Neecy
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 13:49:23

          Ok Mr. Natural – one acronym for another –

          TIA?

          Like

          Reply

  19. MK
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 12:46:13

    I differ from the roissy/pua definition of what the term Alpha should mean. I understand their definition and could use it in that context but choose not to. Defining it solely by someone’s success (or proclaimed success ) with women (even if they were only of the highest quality) is not sufficient in my book. If a man is defined by and gets his self worth only from his interaction with women is he really a man at all? It is one component but not even the most important in my book since if you have the other basics like status or financial resources it comes naturally unless you repel it.

    For a man to be alpha it would have to cross over into most important areas of life and would probably be some type of pyramid. Key factors would be:
    Financial Net worth
    Looks
    Ability to wield power (which is greater than pure physical dominance)
    Quality of family ties
    Ability to attract the type of women you desire
    Actively pursuing his purpose in life
    Appearance, style
    Physical Dominance
    Fitness
    Drinks Maker’s Mark etc etc..

    Like

    Reply

    • omerta327
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 12:56:56

      Defining it solely by someone’s success (or proclaimed success ) with women (even if they were only of the highest quality) is not sufficient in my book. If a man is defined by and gets his self worth only from his interaction with women is he really a man at all?

      Excellent point.

      Drinks Maker’s Mark etc etc..

      Ha! Somebody was paying attention to my Christmas Eve Eve posts. 😎

      Like

      Reply

      • MK
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 16:31:43

        I missed that do you drink Maker’s too? That’s my signature drink out now Maker’s on the rocks.. Great taste and supports the good old USA vs. drinking scotch.

        Like

        Reply

        • omerta327
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 16:39:16

          Hell yeah. Good ol’ Made In the USA Kentucky Bourbon. Good stuff.

          Here’s the link: https://neecysnest.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/my-add-has-got-the-best-of-me-again/#comment-3896

          Love it on the rocks. Good sippin’ whiskey. Cheers, MK.

          Like

          Reply

          • Liza207
            Jan 10, 2012 @ 18:44:31

            Omerta,

            So, you are the alpha male in the room. I can imagine all the beta talk is getting on your nerves at this point. Yes, most women do want an alpha male(a real one-the definition, Mark, provided is every woman’s ideal). Hell, I have been looking for him a entire life(like most women) but most of today’s men are not like they were two generations ago(thanks feminism!), so most of us have all but given up looking for him. I’m not knocking beta but when it comes down to it…I need a man’s man.

            By the way, bourbon is so awful…just awful.

            Like

            Reply

            • omerta327
              Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:08:51

              Hmm, I’ve never claimed to be the ‘alpha male in the room’.I’m just me, looking to try and improve myself every day. Sometimes I’m successful, sometimes not so much.

              If you think that I am, then thanks. Nice to hear.

              LOL… yeah, most women don’t care too much for bourbon. I wouldn’t expect you to be an exception.

              Like

              Reply

              • Neecy
                Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:22:24

                I garee Omerta I htink a man should just simply focus on being the best man he could be and not focus on whether he is more Alpha or beta. I know this is a contradiction to what i have been posting, but i happened to get caught up in the Alpha / Beta talk again after saying I was letting it go awhile back. I said awhile back in a post when I first started the blog i would stop using Alpha and Beta to describe men b/c it kinda does put men into little boxes. A more complex man would have both traits and would be difficult to place him in either category.

                In a way i do feel we should move past the boxed defintiions of men and simply as women know what traits we like in men. Every woman will or may desire some of the same traits and other traits may not be as desirable to one woman vs. another woman.

                Every woman should have an idea of what they want in a man and that should be sufficient. I’m really going ot try to move away from the terms Alpha and beta b/c they do confine the complexities of some men and thier abilities to have a variety of traits and characteristics – be them natural or later developed.

                Like

                Reply

          • Zorro
            Jan 10, 2012 @ 22:43:38

            I just got the Second Season of Justified. I wanna drink the bourbon Raylin Givens drinks! Or the bourbon Jethro Gibbs drinks (from NCIS).

            Them southern boys know their bourbon!

            Like

            Reply

        • MW
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 16:06:53

          Pfft, amateur! Nothing beats an 18 or 25 year single malt. But a fine Himbeergeist or rakija comes very close.

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 12, 2012 @ 18:00:27

            HA! All you guys are amateurs!Go big or go home! When you fellas wanna step your game up to the big leagues try downing a frozen STRAWBERRY DAQUERI! And if you really wanna up yourself one go Miami Vice – strawberry daiquiri and piña coloda mixed together with WHIP CREAM!

            Yeah I’m hardcore baby 😛

            Like

            Reply

      • Marellus
        Jan 11, 2012 @ 05:31:23

        “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”- Henry Kissinger

        “I got the Porwe !!!” – Neecy

        “Neecy, whatever it is that you’ve been drinking, it wasn’t Glenfiddich” – Zorro

        “Yeah Neacy, you got the Opwer !!!” – Liza207

        “Now I’m gonna play with you Liza … ” – Omerta327

        “No” – Liza207

        “Wait till Thirstay” – Firepower

        “Because then there’s a New Moon” – Mark Slater

        And somehow I do believe that MK will write another very penetrating comment on something that I’ve just gotta lose.

        And all I can think of, is a Russian Symphony played with “Made in China” instruments by an Arab Orchestra with an Israeli Conductor.

        And, oh yes, the drummer is a Scot (toast to you Zorro)

        You just gotta love The Nest. 😀

        Like

        Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 13:04:48

      MK that’s a great way for a man to define Alpha and I am completely on board with your description. The original and true Alphas if the past exhibited those EXACT qualities!

      Its sooo easy for a man to simply identify himself as “ALPHA” b/c of his way with women. But that is nit a complete man in my book. Men who define themselves by how many women they can get, persuade, or bed are simple minded men who cannot expand his masculinity into other areas of life that matter and really complete a person.

      To me a man that is advancing himself, society or just his family or community in some way is Alpha (omertà pointed this our as well). A man can always fall victim to his penis and sexual desires – but that’s just so simple and easy! More men should challenge themselves to much more than just their success with women and poon.

      It’s the same as women who define their sole worth by how many men are attracted to them or how “attractive” or beautiful they are.

      A whole and complete person bring more up the table than their sexual prowess and success with the opposite sex.

      Great post!

      Like

      Reply

    • liza207
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 13:09:22

      This has always been my definition of an alpha male.

      Like

      Reply

    • Marellus
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 13:42:40

      “Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac” – Henry Kissinger

      Like

      Reply

  20. n/a
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 14:28:35

    Neecy,

    So much of what you write makes sense on paper. But so much of reality, esp. the reality of sexual desire, burns up the paper.

    You –in particular– need to be careful around true players. I can tell.

    I can tell like this: what you call your “ADD” is really just that super-itch you have — you are one of the most deeply feminine and sexual females imaginable — and you always have your nose out for a certain type of man. I know you can *smell* him.–

    So be careful. All of this excellent thoughfulness and good-heartedness could go up in smoke if someone lights you up with a certain light brush of his hand.

    Be careful not to meet any players when you come to NYC.

    n/a

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 14:47:57

      Interrresting N/A.

      I’ve been pretty good so far in staying out of the beds of really charming men b/c I know how powerful a charming man is and in some ways they frighten me b/c of their ability to woo. You may call him a player but I call them Charming men. They know all the right things to say, the right ways to look at you, and yes even the slightest ways to touch without you even really noticing.

      Charming men are great when you don’t engulf yourself or fall for them but they are frightening. And I think most women who like stability and do not like take risks do go for Beta types b/c they offer a balance of comfort and stability that charming men can’t. They can aslo fulfill a sexual desire as well. So I do think this is why beta men are underrated for the avergae woman out there who see charming men as only temporary pleasures. the fact is a lot of women cannot control that urge and desire within her to walk away or tell herself “NO” when a charming man is trying ot woo her. This is where beta men come in and can complete that void that charming men can’t. They basically give a woman the total package (that is, if he works on more of his weaker social skills with women).

      Beta men do work well for women who can control that urge to fall for a charming man and women who realize her Beta guy can become that charming man if he really works at it. H emay not ever reach the level of some of hte high charmers, but just knowing what makes his woman tick will get him very far in a relationship.

      I like safety in relationships.

      Even in my younger years, as much as I was intrgued and turned on by charming men, but i was also frightened of them and never wanted to take that risk. I know myself all too well 😉

      Like

      Reply

  21. n/a
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 14:31:53

    *thoughtfulness*

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 14:49:43

      I notice you always comeback and correct your spelling or sentences. lol This is the NEST!!!! You don’t have to do that! In fact you’d much better fit in if you allowed yourself to misspell some things every now and then 😉

      Like

      Reply

      • n/a
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 18:40:49

        Neecy, baby,

        Never worried too much about fitting in. I just like a tight fit where it counts.

        Here’s a nice little song to set the mood for your evening:

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:10:16

          You are soooo sooo bad!!

          And the only thing that seems to be “lasting forever” right now is this damn flu I have. UGH!!!

          But there is nothing like an old school 70’s grown and sexy grroove 😉

          Like

          Reply

  22. MK
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 16:40:44

    I had a few other thoughts on the subject of “alpha” on the ride home from work.

    Lets use an example of Frank Sinatra. Frank was the coolest cat in the room and as alpha as they come leader of the rat pack. But he was threatened letting other alpha guys like Dean Martin into his group out of a sense of rivalry. He extended his circle and made room. Dean Martin an almost equal alpha of Frank didn’t feel threatened by his alphaness but instead fed off of the vibe of the whole group and everyone became more alpha as a result. Its a great example of Napoleon Hill’s mastermind principle.

    Another example using Frank is he wanted so closely to be part of JFK’s circle. He wanted in so bad but was kept on the periphery for reasons like possible connections to organize crime. So power > fame to some extent because even though Frank was the most alpha in Hollywood it still didn’t compare to Kennedy’s political Camelot swagger.

    Alphaness is relative to the company you keep and the situation that presents itself. If you limit your circle in an attempt to be most alpha your by definition not being alpha because alpha’s are not threatened by the potential in others (real or actualized) but instead seek to create mutually beneficial alliances with other influential people.

    Like

    Reply

    • MK
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 16:41:42

      Woops typo there meant to say Frank was not threatened but missed the not but I think the point came across anyway.

      Like

      Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:17:21

      MK,

      Another great observation. I also believe that an Alpha male has to constantly make sure he is surrounded by like Alpha men – how else can he stay on his game?

      A beta may either look up to him or try to adopt some of the charcterticts to move himself up the scale to a higher beta or Lower Alpha, or he may fear inferiority to a solid Alpha man and become bitter and envious.

      I believe like needs to stay with like until one decides they want to move out of that circle and into a new zone. Being surrounded by like others creates a foundation, protection, loyalty and strengthens the group.

      Its very much not Alpha like to fear losing your status by allowing other Alpha males in the group. A natural Alpha leader will lead regardless of how many Alpha men he is surrounded by. The group will automatically respect him as the front runner, but still recognize thier strengths as well in their Alphaness.

      Like

      Reply

  23. Neecy
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:27:40

    *sigh* O/T

    But i just came across a woman today named….wait for it…. QUINERVA. Why God why do people do this to their children?

    Like

    Reply

    • Liza207
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:31:14

      I know that I don’t need to ask what her race is, do I?

      Like

      Reply

    • omerta327
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:31:37

      I once met a dude named Tavares. I wondered, did his parents name all their kids after 70’s singing groups?

      “Hey, I’m Tavares. That’s my brother, Chi-Lites, this is my sister, Sledge…”

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:37:24

        LOL Omerta! I actually new a guy back in Junior high also named Tavares.

        *sigh* My peeples looove getting creative with the names.

        I guess you buds mom was trying to “co-ordinate” (remember that from boomerang?) their names. LOL

        Like

        Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:37:43

        Oh, my god! Tavares and Quinerva. This really has to stop. Black people have to stop giving their children these messed names. It must be hard getting employed with the name Quinerva.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:41:40

          HA! You know. Honestly I don’t mind a *little* creativity with names but some names are just …RIDIC!

          For instance I always said if I had daughters I liked the names:

          Mikayla

          Kiara

          those are not common names but i think they flow pretty well off the tongue. its those tongue twisters that get me all messed up. I also came across a woman named…………………I’m giving you a chance to grab your inhalers…………………

          READY???

          SHAWNTASIA.

          😐

          Like

          Reply

          • Liza207
            Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:46:57

            SHAWNTASIA HA! That is the worst.

            Like

            Reply

          • MW
            Jan 12, 2012 @ 23:44:53

            Crackers have ghastly child names too…. Chastity, Madysyn, Koltin, Myckenzy. Can’t even go on. Imagine a woman at 50 years old named Chastity! The poor woman, utterly horrific.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 13, 2012 @ 09:30:53

              those arent sooo bad. its just with alot of the traditional bkack names usually the negative connotations stem from certain kinds of blacks and the lifestyles.

              although my love for the name Mikayla is a name that would sound weird on an adult later on. lol

              Like

              Reply

              • omerta327
                Jan 13, 2012 @ 09:48:54

                Just think. In the next 20 years or so we’re gonna have a whole slew of old white women named Tiffany.

                Like

                Reply

                • Neecy
                  Jan 13, 2012 @ 10:11:07

                  yep! a lot of black women too have the name Tiffany.

                  i guess the reverse is true for names like Carol, Margaret, Helen, barbara sounding weird on young women with those names.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • omerta327
                    Jan 13, 2012 @ 10:16:11

                    Yup. Exactly.

                    Like

                    Reply

                  • Liza207
                    Jan 13, 2012 @ 10:27:28

                    I believe the names that many AA give their children come from wanting to distinguish themselves from everyone else in America, since they feel they have no real culture. The unique names are their way of distinguishing themselves.

                    However, this is American and it is about assimilating as best as you can, especially if your group has not established their own infrastructures that will support them when your name is Quinnerva and there are no major black owned corporations that are in place to hire you.

                    Like

                    Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:45:57

          And yes I can attest to it being difficult to get call backs for interviews with ethnic ghetto type names. My g/f has one of those names (not nearly as bad as Quinerva) but her name is definitley Black ethnic and when she go tlaid off and was sending her resume out to recuriters in the Pharma field, she said she was not getting any calls back. Meanwhile her other Black g/f who was also lookign with the same credentials had a common name (Nicole) and was getting all kinds of call backs.

          So my friend created a shortened version of her name which definitley was more common and she said suddnely her phone started to ring with recruiters. LOL

          That’s kinda wrong for them to do that, but it is what it is. So from here on out she says she will alway suse her shortened name in professional settings, applying for stuff, and applying for jobs.

          Like

          Reply

  24. Marellus
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 08:50:59

    Neecy.

    I know what your next post is gonna be about : It’s gonna be about the B-word. No, it’s not BJ. I’ll have you know that we had a most excellent South African Prime Minister by the name of B.J Voster … but for some kind of obscure reason, he insisted on being called : “John” …

    Neecy-deary, I am referring to …

    BOSOMS !!!!

    And the reason I’m posting this, is because I had a bosom incident today : I was minding my own business at the Pick ‘n Pay checkout counter, when I, your most observant little writer, espied a most magnificent pair of bosoms.

    So I checked out the owner of said hemispheres, and was quite impressed. And I left it there. (MK … hands off the keyboard … I mean it … NO PENETRATING COMMENTS … you’re not gonna listen are ya ? … I’m gonna make you drink Balsem-Kopiva … it’s been on the South African Market since 1911) Later when I left the shop, I espied the owner of said bosoms checking ME out ?!

    How is this possible ?!

    By all the Laws & Ordinances & Commandments & Profound Scriptures of the Holy Inebriated Prophets of Game, I should have had my arse kicked. So how did I, your most irreverent little writer, get a cop-out ?!

    Methinks, there must be a some kind of science involved in the proper staring of bosoms.

    So would explain this matter a bit further ? Especially after this blog post :

    “Would you please stop looking at my tits!” I pleaded.

    “I’m not” he retorted, his eyes still glued to my bosoms.

    “Yes, you are – look!” I pointed at the direction of his gaze, which was focused solely on my nipple line.

    He quickly averted his eyes upwards. “See, I’m not looking” he said, defensively, his eyes immediately reverting back to breast-level position.

    I stood there and raised a solitary eyebrow at him. Pointing at my breasts, I told him, “Do I look blind?! You haven’t been able to keep your eyes off them since you began talking to me”.

    I shook my head in disbelief.

    “But they’re just – you know – there” he pleaded, gesturing towards them, adding, “I can’t help it”

    I looked down at my non-low cut, non-revealing blouse and watched him attempt to give me direct eye contact and fail. All he could do was glance from my breasts to my eye-line, and then back again. He looked up at me and shrugged hopelessly. Clearly this man needed help.

    He had spent the last half an hour trying to chat me up. Trying, being the operative word, since his technique was severely lacking. Unable to remove his eyes from my chest area, he had barely been able to maintain any form of conversation, and had asked me to repeat everything I said, such was his inability to concentrate. I knew that if he used the technique he had been using on me, on another woman, he was risking being ignored (at best) – or, more likely – getting a large slap from her. So I decided to help him.

    “Look, um, what did you say your name was again?” I asked

    “G” he said, asking that I emphasise the latter consonants in his name. (Interesting, I thought, this attention to personal detail; and ironic that he could then overlook the necessary basic social skills with women).

    “OK G” I said, rolling the other consonants off my tongue as if I were practising my favorite dabbling technique on the underside of a cock, “this is how it is: you are not to look at my tits from now on. Got that?”

    He grimaced and looked at my tits.

    “You must be able to give me eye contact – try it” I pleaded

    He stared at me with all his concentration. Three seconds later he was staring at my breasts again.

    “Honestly”, I groaned, “you’re just not trying, you’re pathetic…”

    He shrugged, and looked back at my tits once more.

    “For fucks sake G, do you really think that is the way to win women over?” I asked him, “is that your tried and tested pulling technique?”

    He mumbled something incoherent and tried to focus on my eyes. I watched his eyes lower themselves to my tits again. I knew that I was fighting a losing battle.

    “OK, enough. We’re going to have to try a different tactic. I want you to look at my tits”

    He looked up at me. “Really? No, I couldn’t possibly…”

    “Seriously, I want you to stare at them, really get an eyeful. Go on, look at ’em” I glanced down at my chest hoping his eyes would follow.

    He stared at me, speechless.

    “Come on G, take a good look, do it. I know you want to”, I said, trying to be persuasive.

    “Really? Are you sure?” he asked, shyly, his face going a little red.

    “Yes. Go on, look. Have a really good look.”

    He still seemed unsure whether I was being serious or not and his eyes flitted between my eyeline and my breasts awkwardly.

    “Do it G. Look. I want you to get a really good look, because that’s all you’re gonna get. For the next thirty seconds, you are going to look at my tits, and after that, you will not look at them again. Understand?”

    He nodded.

    “Right. Now look at them” I lowered my hands to my breasts, cupped them through my blouse and gently squeezed them together.

    Unsurprisingly he lowered his eyes to my hands and stared at my chest, not removing his gaze.

    “That’s good”, I said, reassuringly, “look at them. Get a really good eyeful. Picture them in your mind, memorise every curve, each outline”. I removed my hands and looked at my watch. “15 seconds left”.

    He stared – a man possessed – his expression one of awe mixed with excitement. I watched his mouth turn into a wide smile.

    “5 seconds”

    He bit his lip and his eyes wandered across my chest.

    “Time’s up”

    He looked up at me.

    “Right. You’ve had your look, yes?”

    He nodded.

    “And you can recall them clearly in your mind, every detail?”

    He grinned.

    “OK, good. Now, pay attention: whenever a woman you are with is speaking, or you are talking to her, you must look her in the eyes, just like you are doing with me now. Do you understand?”

    He nodded again, his eyes levelling mine.

    “There are two exceptions to this rule. Number one is that you can look at her tits, but – and I cannot state how important this is – never when in conversation; only when she is looking away. Got that?”

    He nodded enthusiastically.

    “You mustn’t even slightly glance at her tits whilst either you or her are talking – don’t think you can get away with a small sneaky peek – you can’t: women always know when guys are staring at their breasts and you’ll get rated as a class A arsehole if you do it. Still with me?”

    “I think. So I can look, but only when her head is turned, right?” he asked

    “Yes. Like this” I turned to look at the dancefloor, “you can look at my tits now, but as soon as I turn my head back, you need to give me eye contact again” I turned round to face him once more.

    He was staring at my eyes.

    “You’re learning. Excellent. You’ve got to practice this; you’ll get better, trust me”

    He looked at me excitedly. “Fantastic. So I can look at tits, but as long as she doesn’t catch me looking, it’s fine?!”

    “Something like that, yeah”

    “So what’s the other exception to the rule then?” he asked me, somewhat gleefully.

    “Ah, well that’s simple. If you’re sitting in a darkened corner and her tongue is down your throat and her hand on your crotch, then you can take it as a given that you can not only look at her tits, but you can give them a good feel as well” I answered.

    He laughed. “You are an amazing woman. How do you know all this stuff?!”

    “Lets just say, I have a lot of male friends and I do my best to ensure they get laid, seeing as many of them are hopeless with women”, I said, quickly adding “and if you make sure you don’t stare at another woman’s tits like you have with mine tonight, I’m sure you’ll do just fine”

    “You should be charging for this” he said, “men would pay good money for advice on how to pick up women”

    I laughed at the irony of the situation – given how poor I currently am – and then thought about how best to blog about it at a later date; wondering whether he may be right.

    Seriously Neecy, when is it good to stare at bosoms, and when is it not ?

    I’m asking, because I’m pretty sure that you have a pair that’s much bigger than mine. If that’s not case, I’ll give you some Balsem-Kopiva as well …

    Like

    Reply

    • Marellus
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 08:58:13

      Just kidding 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:03:24

      Ah my darling marellus,

      Women know men look at our boobs and our booties. We just don’t need to see you doing it. So as the author said, if you are going to look at a woman’s boobs, don’t make it obvious especially if you are talking with her or if she can see you looking. If that means snaeking a peak every time she is looking away or not noticing then so be it. It does make a woman feel uncomfortable to have a man *STARE*. Its starts to become creepy. So just glance and don’t be too obvious. The crime is not looking at her boobs, its making yourself noticed looking at her boobs 😉 HTH!

      Like

      Reply

      • liza207
        Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:12:22

        And no , licking your lips. We really hate that. Neecy, is right–don’t be too obvious. Some guy told me in a public place that if I did not want him looking I should have them covered up more than they were. I mean, it was July.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:17:56

          UGH I hate the licking lips things. Its always some disgusting loser who does this too.

          I’d say most men are pretty good about playing it off. Some aren’t but most are. I find most will try to strike up a convo and ever so often sneak a peak but they try to be courteous about it. LOL

          EXCEPT… the Mexican working guys. That’s a whooooole other ballgame!

          Like

          Reply

    • Zorro
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 10:21:35

      Bosoms are delicious!

      They’re part of this nutritious breakfast!

      Like

      Reply

  25. liza207
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 08:54:42

    “Beta men also tend to don the Cap’n Save a Hoe cape more than necessary. And they do so for women who aren’t giving them anything. They don’t seek to do things for women that have actually fulfilled some need of his, they do it IN ORDER to get some need fulfilled – yet that hardly ever happens. The only thing he gets for being a *Captain Save an ungrateful hoe* is “let’s just be friends” or pointing with tons of laughter or disgust.”
    ——
    This is the saddest of all for them. I have never told a “let’s just be friends”. To me, this was worse than just telling him I am not interested. What would be so wrong with just saying this? I just did not want some guy I was not interested in hanging around me expecting me to fall for him when I knew there was not chance in hell that I would.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:14:14

      You’re right Liza. But a lot of women honestly don’t know how to comfortably deal with a guy who likes them and they don’t like back. Especially if she is doing things that clearly signal she has no interest yet he still keeps hanging around hoping when he needs to read the writing on the wall and keep it moving.

      So they say “let’s just be friends” not to be mean or sinister but really b/c they don’t really know how to simply say they don’t like him in that matter out of fear of hurting his feelings. Also, if the girl really does liek the guy as a friend, then she is honestly asking for a friendship and nothing more. Its the man’s responsibility at that point to either remove himself from the situaiton since he is the one longing for something more or decide to stick around even in the face of not getting what he wants.

      i don’t really blame women in these instances b/c men need to learn how to read cues and frankly need to understand one simple point. If a woman likes you as an intimate partner or for potential intimate relationship, she doesn’t need to be your friend to get there. It either is or it isn’t. A woman doesn’t need time to *GROW* on liking a guy beyond a friend. Also men need to stop dragging things out. Simply be upfront early about what you want and let her tell you. That way if the feeling is not mutual you do not waste time investing himself hoping for somehting that will never happen.

      A lot of men really believe if they continue to befriend a girl and hang around she will eventually like him. They need to stop having that mindset b/c iyt almost never happens that way.

      So most of the blame I have to place on the man here UNLESS the woman is truly leading him on making him think there is a chance when she knows there isn’t. But even then, men need to get he mindset of “shit or get off the pot” and stop allowing themsleves to be dragged around. What i mean is if a woman is playing games and leading them on, why would a man keep playing along while being left unsure and in limbo about where he *really* stands in the relationship? that’s just stupid. they need to bluntly ask for a result and if she cannot give him that, he needs to keep it moving.

      Like

      Reply

      • liza207
        Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:28:05

        This is purely a beta male move. Or some guy who saw When Harry Met Sally too times.

        Speaking of movies, the movie that best illustrates captain-save-a hoe has to be Pretty Woman. I hate that movie with a passion–and it’s boring. Really? You’re a dirty street whore and some handsome rich guy is going to fall in love with you and marry you. It is just the worst ever. Every slut I know just loves this movie, I wonder why?

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:36:32

          I hate Captain Save a Hoe dudes with a passion b/c all the do is allow low caliber women to get away with a bunch of garabage. They put the worse kinds of women on a pedestal, And that just breeds more low caliber entitled women.

          Good women should be rewarded and protected. But its never these kinds of women who get that. its always the shady, trashy, abusive, user women who get the Captain Save a Hoe treatment.

          Now. I LOOOOVED Pretty woman! But I am just a romantic at heart and I love Richard Grere. I thought he was so charming and handsome in the movie. But you are right, this was the Western WOman’s theme movie b/c it somehow solidified that even the trashiest of a woman can be swept off her feet by some hot charming rich guy. WHATEVA!

          but if you look around, trashy women these days *ARE* often given the royal treatment by stupid ass men who think they are the crem la crem.

          I think more decent and quality women should be celebrated. maybe then it will breed more decent quality women. A lot of women today are attention whores b/c it reaps positive results for them – the average female pop star today is an attention whore to the highest power and she get sexactly the attention she is seeking.

          If people started ignoring women like this, they’d go away.

          Like

          Reply

        • liza207
          Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:41:16

          I often wonder if the popularity of that movie (Pretty Woman) made it somehow acceptable for men (especially beta men) to marry women who had stretchy pasts. They portrayed Julia Roberts character, as if, she was Cindrella or something–not the dirty whore she actually was.

          They pretty much glamorized the subject manner in which I thought was kind of serious. But we both know why.

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:46:47

            Yep liza I think it did. And I also notice that women after that started feeling more comfy in being whores and trashy and still knowing they could meet some schlub who will sweep them up, wife them and even have kids with them. Look at how many rich Beta guys go after low caliber trashy women and marry them. They do it b/c they feel these women give them “status” and “cred” with men b/c these women may be “hot” but in a trashy way.

            Look at how women like Kim Kardashian and Kendra Wilkison get super rich and famous for whorish or low caliber behavior (sex tapes they make money off of). That’s the culture. reawrd attention whores and whores. make them rich and famous and wives and mothers. LOL sad.

            Like

            Reply

            • liza207
              Jan 11, 2012 @ 09:52:59

              We both know that this is strictly white chick territory because no sista walking the planet would be able to get away with kind of shit and still be able to be seen as desirable to any man, period.

              Like

              Reply

              • Neecy
                Jan 11, 2012 @ 10:00:59

                YEP! Look at how trashy Black women are treated in comparison to Non Black trashy women. It’s a negative disgusting thing when Black women are trashy, but its CUTE and HOT when Non Black women are trashy.

                I’m not condoning trashiness from any race. But why is trashiness from one group worse than another?

                This is what irks me so much about Black women who try to jump on that Bandwagon. They don’t realize that territory is not going to be rewarding for them as it will be for a Non Black woman of the same caliber.

                Black women would be best defining our own sexuality the way *WE* see ourselves b/c anything we do that copies Non Black women, we are often scolded and frowned upon and called all kinds of things while the Non Black women are making billions, getting married and having kids with dumb ass men who think they are heavenly valuable prizes to be proud of.

                My grandmother *ALWAYS* told me that as a Black woman I *CANNOT* do certain things that WHite women do and get away with. I as a Black women will never be given the same benefit of the doubt or rewards a Non Black woman would. AND ITS TRUE. Black women need to stop being copy cats and become our OWN women.

                Like

                Reply

                • liza207
                  Jan 11, 2012 @ 10:18:11

                  This remains me of this lovely black chick (posed in Playboy magazine) that was dating or doing whatever with Colin Farrell. She released a video tape of them having sex to the public thinking she was going to become famous.

                  Well, you know what happen because she does not have her own reality show.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 11, 2012 @ 10:26:45

                    It was Nicole Narain. Yes she was quite lovely (until she blonded her hair to an orangy fright and started wearing green contact lenses) UGH why do beautiful Black women like that become so desperate?

                    She is the perfect example of a Black women who thought she could “do what the white girls do” and make out. HA! She learned really quickly that wasn’t the case. In fact, you hardly heard about her again after that.

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • liza207
                      Jan 11, 2012 @ 11:46:45

                      (until she blonded her hair to an orangy fright and started wearing green contact lenses)
                      ——-
                      Well, this was an unfortunate move.

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 11, 2012 @ 12:08:26

                      VERY. And I think she blonded her hair and lightened her eyes as a last ditch effort attempt to be relevant. Didn’t work.

                      Black women need to learn to be themselves. Trying to jump on another group of womens gravy train when there is no gravy for you, is silly and pointless.

                      Like

                • omerta327
                  Jan 11, 2012 @ 11:28:36

                  Hey, if Nicole Narain ever wants to take another stab at making a sex tape with an Irish man, give her my e-mail.

                  I’d be more than happy to help her advance her career. :mrgreen:

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 11, 2012 @ 11:37:20

                    haha! I’m *SURE* ya would ! 😉

                    Like

                    Reply

                  • liza207
                    Jan 11, 2012 @ 12:19:48

                    Now, this is interesting. What do you have doing on that Colin does not that would help advance her career? You are too much.

                    Although, I think Colin’s career lost a lot of steam when Hollywood got wind of his love for the sistas. I believe this did not go over well with his white female fans. He a very sexy guy too. I really loved him Fright Night.

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • omerta327
                      Jan 11, 2012 @ 12:55:23

                      Just throwing it out there, Liza. Can’t hurt, now, can it? 😉

                      Colin Farrel’s career is going just fine. He’s loaded, he can afford to be choosy about his roles.

                      Like

                    • liza207
                      Jan 11, 2012 @ 13:18:38

                      Just throwing it out there, Liza. Can’t hurt, now, can it?
                      —-
                      I guess it does not hurt. Never know, she could just stumble onto this blog. HA!

                      I know guys really like overtly sexual women. To some guys there is nothing like a chick who puts it all out there.

                      Like

        • Mr Natural
          Jan 11, 2012 @ 15:01:08

          Pretty Woman was maybe a landmark on the road. But I remember, the road itself began with the introduction of the Pill. Suddenly, for the first time in human history, a woman could consider having the same kind of sex life as a man, without fear of unwanted pregnancy.

          It all kind of percolated along throught the early 60s, and then the hippie ‘make love, not war’ and plain anti-war movements came along. All the revolutionary youth movements were laced with the sexual freedom idea. And the real clincher, the Feminist ‘Liberation’ movement’s description of female promiscuity was ‘women’s empowerement’. The sexual freedom idea was mainstreamed in the Seventies and from then on the idea that it was ok for an unattached woman to sleep with any number of men was firmly entrenched in popular culture.

          In the 90s, there began to appear some serious pushback, from non-feminist women’s groups and various writers and researchers, asking whether this had really worked out out that well for women. Of course it hasn’t; the age-old ethic where the man had to make a public commitment to the woman and their future children before she would sleep with him is gone, with no clear replacement. A
          man looking for sex has a target-rich environment; a woman who wants commitment from a man has a real search to make.

          Pretty Women was made in that Hollywood/mainstream/ dreamworld where a rich, handsome man will fall for and marry a prostitute. Where has that happened in real life? I think the saving grace for IR in Pretty Woman is that the slutty tramp was portrayed as a white woman. Black girls may love the Richard Gere character but they (hopefully) won’t see themselves as the Julia Roberts character.

          Hmmm .. that was long and rambling; at least I mentioned Pretty Woman at the start and finish.

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 11, 2012 @ 15:09:24

            (my computer crashed so I’m typing from my iPhone – damn it’s been a shitty two weeks for me. Anyway excuse any weird spellings)

            Black women like everyone else is affected by pop culture. So black women who see things like pretty woman may actually buy into the idea that they can get away with being like a Julia was in the movie. But mist black women are well aware of how the double standards that work for white women in society are nit the same standard that work for black women.

            Unfortunately you will still gave many black women who will attempt to do things that have garnered success for white women, then find out the unfortunate hard way, things don’t quite work that way for a black woman nearly as favorably.

            Like

            Reply

  26. omerta327
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 13:29:33

    Liza: I know guys really like overtly sexual women. To some guys there is nothing like a chick who puts it all out there.

    Eh, there’s a fine line between ‘overtly sexual’ and ‘just plain trashy’. Once a woman crosses it, she becomes very difficult to take seriously.

    I like a woman who’s more ‘covertly sexual’. A woman who you can tell by the look in her eye and the way she smiles that she’s got some burning hot passion bubbling just below the surface.

    Like

    Reply

    • liza207
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 13:40:40

      It’s like, okay, I may not be putting it out there right now but when the time comes I will surely rock your world.

      Like

      Reply

      • omerta327
        Jan 11, 2012 @ 13:53:21

        Well put.

        Being a little overtly sexual goes a long way, too. Nice form-fitting clothes (as long as you’ve got a decent form), a little cleavage, hair and make up done tastefully, etc.

        Like

        Reply

  27. Liza207
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 14:09:43

    Okay, you must be aware of by now that I don’t put it all out there.

    Am getting heads up here on what to wear? lol

    Like

    Reply

  28. Neecy
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 15:02:58

    As my grandmother EMMA “the diva” would say:

    “if you got it! FLAUNT it!” (tastefully of course).

    Like

    Reply

  29. Sophia
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 16:43:22

    Oh my God, Neecy, I had no idea you have a blog! Linked here from a comment you made at Halima’s.
    I recall you from the BWE blogs and actually wondered to myself where you went. I didn’t comment much, just a few times on Christelyn’s and Khadija’s blogs, but always enjoyed your point of view. Reading your archives now!

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 16:55:07

      Sophia hey girl! I’m so glad you found my blog – we need more wimmebs here! lol

      Yeah I had stopped posting for a bit at the BWE blog and stumbled across a male blog with an interesting (yet not healthy) approach to relations with women. After hanging out there for awhile I decided to kinda springboard off of his blog and talk about male/female dynamics in the relationship arena and WUALAH!! Neecys nest was conceived.

      I had wanted to go back and invite some of the ladies from the BWE blogs but I hardly found the time to do so while trying to keep this blog going.

      I do miss some of the positive and uplifting interactions with a lot of you and found some not so uplifting when a lot of the newbied had started going on christelyns forum. You know I always had pretty strong opinions and I don’t think a lot of the newbies there liked it so I just left.

      Ironically, christelyn reached out to me yesterday and asked how I was and that she missed me posting there. So I’ll start posting there again b/c I muss the discussions on how we black women can keep moving ourselves forward.

      I hope u stick around cause we have some really great guys and discussions here but it’d be nice to have mire female input too!

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 11, 2012 @ 17:01:37

        Omg my stupid iPhone is driving me nuts! It has completely changed the spelling of words and phrases. ugh going back to edit – sowwy!

        Like

        Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 12, 2012 @ 07:07:57

        Neecy, the BWE blogs are great and have helped me to clarify a few things about the black community that I thought were crazy and I was always wondering if I was the only one that could see the madness. But then I stumbled onto the BWE blogs and I was like, okay, I am not crazy.

        I got what I needed from those blogs but I have moved on. I don’t want talk about bm, the bc and ir dating at this point. I will leave that to the newbies who will be discovering those wonderful eyeing blogs.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 07:45:20

          I agree Liza  that’s part of the reason why I left too. Those sites are definitely great for  people looking to learn about empowerment for black women and interracial dating. But sometimes the discussions became circular and it felt at times we weren’t  moving to the next level we were constantly focusing on the the beginning stages.

          Like

          Reply

        • Liza207
          Jan 13, 2012 @ 13:21:53

          I just wanted add something about some of the BWE blogs is that and I don’t know if you noticed this as well but it was all in my face when I used to frequent them. It seemed as if you were not doing the “woe-is-me” dance or talking about how unhappy you were or insecure you were about yourself, and how you had your shit all together and felt good about your existence –you were treated like a pariah of some kind. Alternatively, if you let it be known that you were light-skinned and you had you emotional shit together (the two things are not mutually exclusive, by the way).

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 17, 2012 @ 16:22:38

            I started to feel the same way too. It seem like it were times when there was constant woe is   me than there was of lifting progress of talk. Mainly for me I just wanted to see more progressive
             talk and it seems some of the girls or women weren’t really ready to move forward like they thought. But my main and biggest issue and why i left was because of the cattiness and the constant trying to pick fights with people for no reason at all other than d to create drama.

            Like

            Reply

    • Liza207
      Jan 12, 2012 @ 06:58:18

      Hi Sophia!

      I remember you commenting from time to time on Christelyn’s blog. I also remember when I first saw your name “Sophia” (also my baby sister’s name and it is also spelt the same) I thought, oh, my god!–I wonder if this is my sister. But she would not know the term “lexicon” or be able to even use it in a sentence.

      Welcome, Sophia! It is nice to have another chick on board!

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 12, 2012 @ 08:23:26

        Uuuuuh Liza? I have a confession to make. I didn’t know what the term “lexicon” was either, but I had an idea! So I guess I’m only half stupid. Lol!

        Like

        Reply

        • Liza207
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 08:30:56

          LOL!

          Like

          Reply

        • zorro
          Jan 13, 2012 @ 16:32:43

          Your lexicon does not include lexicon.

          Lexicon differs slightly from vocabulary only in that a lexicon may refer to a specific group of words needed for a specific purpose (e.g., words only a baker would need to know, or the 501 most used verbs in Portuguese).

          Vocabulary generally refers to the words a person knows well enough to employ effectively in speech and writing.

          I’ve got [clap clap] too much time on my hands!

          Like

          Reply

        • Sophia
          Jan 16, 2012 @ 15:59:47

          That’s funny Liza 🙂

          Like

          Reply

  30. Sophia
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 16:44:58

    Also, congrats on getting fit!!! I recall your old photo and you were pretty then but look gorgeous now.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 16:57:57

      Awwww thanks so much for your sweet and kind words! It hasn’t been easy and its been a slow process but it coming together nicely. I still have more to accomplish but I am much happier now with my body than I’ve been in awhile! Thanks to the BWE really enforcing this it also helped me realize it was time to stop playing around.

      Like

      Reply

      • Sophia
        Jan 11, 2012 @ 19:34:43

        I mean it, you look fantastic. It’s interesting cause I’ve been on the same weight loss path and hit my goal a while ago. Achieving a goal like that really improves one’s confidence and prospects in so many avenues.
        Btw, I’ve been reading the archives and realize there is a lot of terminology I simply don’t understand. I think it all relates to pick up artist lexicon, no? Do I need to know this to participate in this blog? I probably will pick up it as I go along, very likely.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 06:03:23

          Don’t worry Sophis you’ll pick it up. I don’t think I use a lot of acronyms besides

          SMP – sexual market place (i.e. encompassed the whole of dating, mating currently today)

          If someone uses one just ask and we’ll be more than happy to tell you!

          BTW,
          Congrats on reaching your weight goals! It feels so good to hear and see so many black women step out of that “weight” matrix and really start to see how wonderful we look and feel when we’re at a normal and healthy weight. You are right it does increase a bw’s potential in so many ways! ITs weird b/c one minute you go from barely being noticed to suddenly being more attractive to others once you get more healthy.

          I’m very anti- the pro fat movement got women b/c it really hinders our health and our potential in the SMP – especially black women.

          So yeah I am so happy that I’ve finally saw the light. 🙂

          Like

          Reply

        • Liza207
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 07:12:30

          Yes, Neecy, looks like a stone cold hottie. Congrats, to the both of you on your weight loss success. There is nothing like being healthy and fit. Just stay focused.

          Like

          Reply

          • Sophia
            Jan 16, 2012 @ 16:02:47

            Thanks Liza. I don’t know what methods you used Neecy but I first lost a lot of weight through conventional dieting. Then I discovered paleo/primal. It’s almost been a year and my body composition changes are a sight to behold. It’s like discovering the fountain of youth or something.

            Like

            Reply

            • Liza207
              Jan 17, 2012 @ 07:16:49

              That Paleo Primal diet sounds really good–I looked it up online. I do the low-carbs/low-fat thing and I try to stay away from refine sugars. But I am going to look more into the Paleo Primal diet.

              Like

              Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 17, 2012 @ 16:10:15

              Most of what I did was I actually cut my portions in half. I also started doing more cardio. But I started realizing I was reaching a plateau and now I’m doing more weight lifting. It’s also funny you mention the primal diet because I want to transition into that this year I actually started reading up on the paleo diet and have heard really good results from people.

              Like

              Reply

            • Omerta327
              Jan 19, 2012 @ 07:32:14

              I’m on the Omerta diet.

              I eat whatever the hell I want.

              Like

              Reply

  31. zorro
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 17:06:54

    “As a Black woman, my introspection and EMPATHY for the Western White beta male stems moreso from the experience and knowledge of how unfortunately similar he is too many American Black women.”

    A distinguishing feature of the BW, however, is her superior fashion sense. On the other hand, relatively few WM will allow themselves to be seen in public with their pants hanging down to expose the crack in their ass.

    Verdict: We’re perfect together.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 17:22:05

      I agree and there are actual studies that show bw/wm marriages last the longest of all and any marriages be them monoracial or interracial.

      But if we’re So great together we’re not certainly coming together.

      I do realize many African American women take ourselves out of the desirability of white males with such high obesity rates. Also many white men just won’t approach a black woman he may find attractive.

      So – mor black women need to physically tighten up if they want to see increased prospects with white males and more white males need to stop being afraid to approach a black woman he finds attractive.

      Like

      Reply

    • MK
      Jan 11, 2012 @ 17:57:07

      I’d like to agree but alas I can not.
      I have a sad story to tell and it goes a little something like this. I went out beltless a night a few summer’s ago after having lost a little weight. Hey whats the problem you ask? Well I have 13 too many and all of a sudden I am a bloody mess. My pants won’t stay up despite my best effort and I run into Larry Platt in a foul mood.
      The rest is for history.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 11, 2012 @ 18:58:30

        Hahahaha!! I remember pants on the ground! Lol

        Don’t feel bad MK. Last month I was out with my boss in beverly hills and this poor older White man had a cigar in his mouhth and was walking with a cane and his pants fell all the way down! Lmao! I didn’t know what to do and my boss was trying so hard not to laugh! Thank god he had on a long dress shirt and boxers to hide his ahem.,,, “jewels”?

        Like

        Reply

  32. omerta327
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 17:52:45

    Here’s a blast from the past.

    NEECY INTERJECTION: sorry O, but I deleted his link b/c he was very disrespectful to me and will not get any notice on my blog whatsoever.

    Lots to chew on here. Neecy and Marellus make cameos.

    Like

    Reply

  33. Neecy
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 06:11:36

    Testing to see how well this system works for me to start to see how well this is working on my WordPress account since I can’t want my computer

    Like

    Reply

  34. Neecy
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 06:13:52

    oh my god this really works I love this Vlingo voice system app on my iPhone

    Like

    Reply

  35. Neecy
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 06:17:13

    Don’t mind me everyone I’m I’m playing around with this thing on my phone to see how well it works just ignore me!

    Like

    Reply

  36. Liza207
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 08:57:19

    My sister’s situation with fiancé is a perfect example of captain-save-a my baby sister who is not a hoe, though. Anyway, she and this very sweet beta guy have been just friends since high school. He has been in love with her since they met but she friend zoned him or he did it to himself (they do that sometimes).

    Since the friendship, she has dated guys that were often bad for her but he was there though the heartbreaks and her mistakes (I would say about 15 years) with loser men while of course, overlooking him the entire time. She then falls head-over-heels for this asshole she ended up having two children with, and who promised to marry her someday. After a few years of realizing, it was not going to happen with father of her children she finally decided it was time to give sweet beta guy a shot and he was way eager to have her (15 years later)–and they are now engaged to be married.

    I really had to give the side-eye for this but at the same time I felt her kids needed a more stable family life. Besides, he is the only man I know that can tolerate her diva bullshit.

    If I was this guy, I do not think I would have hung around waiting but that is what beta guys do they are extremely patient and have serious cases of oneitis, which is their main downfall with women.

    I often wish them the best because he is going to need it.

    Like

    Reply

    • omerta327
      Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:04:03

      15 YEARS?!? 😯

      I think I just threw up a little bit.

      Hell, even ONE year of that kind of pandering is waaay too long. And she’s a “diva”, too. I see red clouds on the horizon.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:11:23

        Yes, just stomach turning. It may be even more than 15 years. They may have met in middle school.

        Yes, my baby sister is a spoiled brat–always has been and now she has this poor schlub doing all of her bidding.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:30:01

          He sounds like a typical modern day emasculated guy. He us not a real man and just b/c he’s “nice” doesn’t give him a pass. The reason women today have such bad behaviors is b/c of these Captain save a hoe doods rewarding their behavior. If he truly had anything going for himself he would have been gone and married to another woman by now.

          Your sister is gonna eat that schlub alive everyday of that marriage. He’d been better off staying a friend at this point.

          Like

          Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:21:59

      As much as I hate to say this, that guy your sister is going to marry sounds like an omega more than a beta. Also in these cases I do believe water seek it’s own level. Your sister has shown little value for herself and for him to sit around those many years witnessing all the bad choices she has made, and still decides to marry her after that says he to have little value for himself. Not so sure they aren’t a match, because as I said water seek it’s own level.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:29:04

        I don’t know, I usually see omegas as men who have very few choices or none at all. He never appeared to be a guy that did not have other choices. He just has a serious case of oneitis.

        Yes, you are right about water seeking it’s own level in this case.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:34:55

          Hmmmmm I guess we see it differently b/c no man with any kind of choices will sit around that long watching some chick who friends him for 15 years go through a bunch of losers and then have 2 our of wedlock kids by one who won’t marry her, and then he comes and wifes her up? TOTAL omega in my eyes.

          Also I always thought oneitis was a guy that actually was in a relationship with a girl and he just became sprung.

          This fool never even had intimacy with her!

          Like

          Reply

          • Liza207
            Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:42:06

            Neecy, okay, the omega shoes surely fits in this case. My other sister (middle) and I often talk about how pathetic the whole situation is with the two of them and just laugh. We think it is ridiculous but we are happy that she found someone that will be able to put up with her because no other guy could and we feared that she would end up alone.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:50:41

              Lol!

              I’d see the situation differently if he too had gone off married or had a string if bad relationships as she had, and THEN they decided to get together as a result – then I’d actually say it was a cool little love story.

              But this is gonna be a fairytale for sis and a nightmare for him b/c I can’t see how she will respect him. And if her two kids witness the disrespect of him they will grow up thinking it’d normal for a man to be emasculated and treated that way in a relationship. IOW’s they will be robbed of seeing what a healthy balanced relationship is.

              Of course this is all speculation on my part since she may actually treat him well and they just may have a great and healthy relationship.

              Like

              Reply

              • Liza207
                Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:57:50

                I really don’t either since they live in CT and I am in NYC. But, she does speak very lovely of him but I know she can be really difficult to handle. LOL!

                Like

                Reply

                • Neecy
                  Jan 12, 2012 @ 10:10:19

                  As irritated as I am with this dood ( lol and I don’t even know him) I am hoping things work out for them and that thy do have a healthy relationship fir her childrens sake.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • MK
                    Jan 12, 2012 @ 16:28:20

                    Agree with Neecy that there is very little chance this will work out well for this guy. If Liza wanted to help she should forward the guy info about married men game. Him gaming your sister would be the ONLY chance for him to avoid getting used and abused. Even then its a long shot but it is his only chance.

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 12, 2012 @ 17:51:37

                      That’s a good idea MK but umfortunatley by the tome ge learns what he needs to know he’ll be half eaten alive by then lol. He should have been preparing those wasted 15 years!

                      Like

                    • MK
                      Jan 13, 2012 @ 04:13:55

                      I used to have a hard time understanding how people like to flip the script and say how nice betas were creepy but with this example I understand a bit better. Initially it sounds romantic to say he waited 15 years and got the girl so true love wins in the end perfect Hollywood BS. But when you step back and think about it that means he lacked value in himself and was more then happy to bide his time while she did her (including a 15 year all you can ride pass on the carousel) then he was there to pick up the pieces. He literally was the Forest Gump in this story and although it seemed lovable in the movies its pretty sad in real life.

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 13, 2012 @ 09:37:03

                      I was one for the longest to believe thatbeta   guys who stick around like that are only creepy if they get upset after the girl tell them that they should only be friends. That’s because guys who did that come off as manipulative when they’re trying to be nice to win a womans affections then  change up later and become angry when they knew they didnt stand a chance.

                      Like

    • Sophia
      Jan 16, 2012 @ 16:04:27

      Wow @ your sister, Liza. I mean, I hope she wakes up and treats him right but sadly enough, I suspect that won’t happen.

      Like

      Reply

  37. Liza207
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:48:43

    I just don’t know how any woman’s panties could get wet for men like this. But when women get desparate and have few choices left these guys are their best bet. I would just rather go it alone with the cats (Actually, little dogs. I am not a cat person).

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:55:21

      HA! I hear ya!

      I’m sorry I may be a horn dog may be up there in age but I’ll be diggy DAMNED if I end up with some emasculated schlub or some domineering jerk off. If he isn’t a normal masculine mans man? The universe can keep em and give them to the desperate chicks!

      Like

      Reply

  38. omerta327
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 09:57:18

    Neecy: But this is gonna be a fairytale for sis and a nightmare for him b/c I can’t see how she will respect him.

    If she doesn’t respect him, it’ll be a nightmare for her as well.

    Liza, you say how your baby sis is a “diva” and how “no guy could ever put up with her BS”. Care to give some examples?

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 12, 2012 @ 10:07:45

      You’re right Omertà no woman will ever truly be happy with a man she doesn’t respect and had to settle for. I guess I meant fairytale moreso b/c she’s finally getting her wish if getting married fulfilled. But that will only be a temporary feel good if she believes deep down she had to settle b/c neither she or he had any other choices at this point.

      Like

      Reply

    • Liza207
      Jan 12, 2012 @ 10:14:35

      Well, she is extremely entitled, did I say extremely entitled. She is very high maintenance, a guy has be ready to treat her to the best. She also very quick to anger when she does not get what she wants from a guy. She threw her engagement ring at her the father of her children and told him she did not want to marry him because he show up late for a date. He never gave her the ring back and that was that–he had it.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 12, 2012 @ 10:41:00

        Damn. And he’s signing himself up for THAT!? And if he’s known her that ling he has to know about her ways. Yikers!

        Like

        Reply

        • Liza207
          Jan 12, 2012 @ 10:58:26

          Yes, he is,because some shlubs will put with this to be a very attractive woman like my sister.

          Moving on, now we know why the Katie Perry and Russell Brand marriage did not work out–the age differences. She was too young for him and then factor in the showbiz stuff. But I believe it was mostly age related. Same goes for Demi and Ashton.

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 12, 2012 @ 11:10:56

            Last I heard the break up had mire to do with the fact that he was ready for kids and hated partying all the time and she didn’t want kids yet and liked partying (which could have a lot to do with the age difference although I wasn’t even aware there was one).

            Uuuh once again dungarees getting married before discussing what each wanted. You’d think a discussion as simple as “are you ready for kids” would have happened? Niooo of course not! I mean marriage is “no big deal” why even ask about those important things first?

            Ugh. Well now it’s gonna cost her half oh well!

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 12, 2012 @ 11:15:51

              Lol @ my phone changing “dumbasses” to “dungarees” I don’t know what the he’ll a “dungarees” us but it sounds just as fitting as dumbasses. Haha

              Like

              Reply

            • Liza207
              Jan 12, 2012 @ 11:19:28

              Yes, a 15 year difference. They were at different stages in their lives. There are just too many stupid people getting married these days. It seems that smarter individuals are either delaying marriage. Or not getting married at all. The idiots just seem to be stumbling into it without a clue.

              Like

              Reply

              • Zorro
                Jan 12, 2012 @ 11:23:08

                Word, girl.

                Like

                Reply

                • Liza207
                  Jan 12, 2012 @ 11:30:16

                  Z,

                  As I was typing that comment, I thought about you and I said to myself, “I know that, Zorro, will be making an appearance”. LOL!

                  Stop hating on marriage and just make sure you find the RIGHT woman and do your due diligence, that’s all. 😉

                  Like

                  Reply

              • Neecy
                Jan 12, 2012 @ 12:38:41

                I agree Liza. People today get married for dumb shit. So not worth all the drama and crap that follows marrying the wrong person.

                Well this stupid foolish mistake she made is gonna cost her half her fortune and she wasn’t even married 6 months I dont think?

                Like

                Reply

  39. n/a
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 15:33:46

    I want a post about those “charming men” that frighten you.

    You’re right to be frightened of such men.

    They’re coming after you.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 12, 2012 @ 17:48:42

      Hmmmm sounds like that’d be a good post! But unfortunately my dear I won’t be able to make any blog posts till next wednesday b/c my stupid computer crashed and it’s being fixed. Can’t type a novel from my phone lol

      Like

      Reply

      • n/a
        Jan 12, 2012 @ 19:33:39

        It would’ve been so easy to fix that “stupid” (so cute) computer, right from here, you could’ve let me in remotely, and I would have taken care of business.

        Now the tech guy is going through all your homemade videos and copying the best ones for eventual blackmail.

        Tsk, tsk. Computationally challenged Miss Neecy…

        Like

        Reply

  40. Neecy
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 19:28:25

    lmao @ Mk’s avatar

    Like

    Reply

  41. n/a
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 19:37:20

    Return me to my plain avatar you add-addled blog-monster.

    Like

    Reply

  42. n/a
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 19:48:37

    I’m tempted to abuse you right now.

    Like

    Reply

  43. Neecy
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 20:00:25

    😥 😀 😳 😈

    Like

    Reply

  44. zorro
    Jan 12, 2012 @ 21:09:18

    Saw this. Thought of this post. I know you hate the guy, but…

    http://www.amazon.com/Compliment-Cuddle-Beta-Method-Getting/dp/1461083761/ref=pd_luc_s9_art_01_03_t_lh

    Like

    Reply

  45. Liza207
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 09:50:41

    I was one for the longest to believe thatbeta guys who stick around like that are only creepy if they get upset after the girl tell them that they should only be friends. That’s because guys who did that come off as manipulative when they’re trying to be nice to win a womans affections then change up later and become angry when they knew they didnt stand a chance.
    —–

    Yes, this is true, some beta guys do use manipulation in order to get what they want from women. Neecy, like I told you before, I was friends with a guy for ten years who was there at my beck-n-call but as time went on he became more and more resentful of the fact that I wanted nothing to do with him romantically, after making it clear time and time again, that I just wasn’t interested in him in that way.

    A lot of them really need some help in how we are as women. I have no idea where they get their notions from.

    Like

    Reply

    • omerta327
      Jan 13, 2012 @ 09:59:25

      A lot of them really need some help in how we are as women. I have no idea where they get their notions from.

      Sure you do. FEMINISM.

      This guy was trying to prove to you that he’s “Not like the other guys”. You know, just like in the movies.

      Like

      Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 13, 2012 @ 12:45:59

      Yes they do Liza. A lot of men don’t take hints and they’re  not observing the obvious cues women are giving to them when thewoman  is obviously not interested. 

      Then they act shocked and surprised and get really angry when the girl says she doesn’t like him that way.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 13, 2012 @ 12:56:02

        I have heard men claim that they are more romantic than women (Now, why would any guy want to stake this claim in the first place is beyond me). As women, we do love romance we love, love, love it, but ONLY with a guy we actually want romancing us up–the guy we are sexually attracted to, PERIOD.

        Like

        Reply

  46. Liza207
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 10:11:48

    Yes, feminism and those horrific romantic comedies. I have thinking about writing a post on how much I hate them and how they are selling false ideal/notions to men about what women really want.

    White-knighting is only appreciated by women when we are already interested in the guy, not before we become interested. So, some guy writing me love notes and sending me flowers when I have no romantic interest is just plain creepy.

    Like

    Reply

    • omerta327
      Jan 13, 2012 @ 10:20:29

      That would make a good post. It’s an idea that’s been brought to light on the manosphere for quite a while now, but I’d be interested to see a woman’s take on it.

      Alright, I’m out. I’ll catch up w/ you all tomorrow. Peace.

      Like

      Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 13, 2012 @ 12:57:15

      I stopped going to see romantic comedies as I got older. As you said a lot of them are just not realistic. In most of them, the man always seems to be pandering more so than being a balance.

      women really dont like a man pandering to them. yes we like for a man to pursue us and show interest.

      The only problem I see with white knighting is when men do it to get something out of the woman, other than him being sincere and doing it from the heart expecting nothing in return.

      Like

      Reply

  47. Neecy
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 12:26:43

    im hoping that these past two weeks are not a preview of whats to come for the rest of this year.

    lets see

    1) i break out in hives

    2) i get a flu

    3) i get bronchitis

    4) my computer crashes

    5) i lost my atm/ debit cards! ( just realized today)

    uuuuuuggggghhhhhh!

    Like

    Reply

  48. Liza207
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 12:46:22

    Neecy, Oh, my god! Girl, you need to get away, when was the last time you took a vacation, where you just got away from it all for a week or more?

    My nightmare (I have had actual nightmares where I have woken up in cold sweats) is losing my credit and debit cards–it freaks me out.

    I hope that things will improve as the year progresses–it is only January.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 13, 2012 @ 13:02:02

      You’re right I really need a vacation! The sad thing is it’s only January lol! 

      I guess it could’ve been worse because thankfully no one used my cards.

      Like

      Reply

  49. Sophia
    Jan 16, 2012 @ 16:14:35

    So I’ve been perusing this site and the comments, and they led me to the CH site where I read the articles and the comments there with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. Annoyance because the whole focus of the “game” seems so short-sighted, i.e. getting laid, and also cause the level of misogyny among a few (not all) of the commenters is so high.
    Amusement cause the incredible effort, strategy and planning that goes into “gaming” women illustrates just how important the attention of women is for these men. Overall, I think anything that helps men become more charming and engaging is a good thing.
    However, I wonder if the men who do this for a long time are able to get into long term relationships or even get married.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 17, 2012 @ 16:39:10

      Oh god Sophia I’m so sorry I had to subject to that! But I guess that’s the reality is that there are men who feel that way about women on that site. I do also believe that the behaviors of women today in the sexual marketplace  help to contribute to the lack of respect that a lot of man have for women today.

      Like you said anything that helps men to become more charming andmore  confident with women is definitely a good thing. Unfortunately, many of the guys on ch take it way to the extreme because some of them actually hate women. And a use game sites as some sort of foundation for that.

      But honestly A lot of those guys are guys who have had bad experiences with the women because they tried to be the good  guy and got walked over because they were never properly told what women really want in men. So they followed the rules of feminism only to later find out that what women say they wanted in men wasn’t what really wanted. As a result, a lot of those guys got burned, ignored and are bitter.

      Then there are the guys that truly are socially awkward when it comes to women and the game sites help them in some ways to understand how and what the women look for when it comes to you guys. I don’t think they always get most of the right but I think some of the concepts and techniques are helpful for those guys.

      I have been fortunate enough to have met some of those good guys and decent guys who were on that site. 

      Like

      Reply

      • Zorro
        Jan 17, 2012 @ 19:13:59

        You are just so sucking up to me right now.

        Like

        Reply

      • Sophia
        Jan 17, 2012 @ 19:41:51

        No worries Neecy. It was actually fascinating to get a glimpse into a subculture that I didn’t know anything about. I was born and raised in very traditional, conservative societies so a lot of the conversations on that site about whores/good-girls and how to tell who is a slut, etc are old hat to me.

        Like

        Reply

  50. Liza207
    Jan 17, 2012 @ 07:01:42

    Yes, Sophia, those men are absolutely obssessed with women and getting their attention and that is because they cannot–not really.

    We should know that men who are actually doing well with women are not sitting at their computers trashing them all day. Duh!, right?

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 17, 2012 @ 16:47:37

      The bitter and hateful ones who use that site to bash women will never find happiness and they’ll never be successful in attracting any kind of woman that has options and isn’t damn near crazy.

      The ones that actually want to learn how to have better and more successful relationships with women will be fine if they don’t get bitter, Stay realistic,  work on their confidence/social ineptness and only take away some of the more realistic game techniques and concepts that would actually work with women.

      Like

      Reply

      • Sophia
        Jan 17, 2012 @ 19:44:53

        The few crazed ones will likely remain alone, unless they actually come across an equally crazed women whose crazy complements theirs. Good luck to the sane commenters.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 19, 2012 @ 20:46:32

          I always say that water seeks its own level – this truly applies in the case of these gamers with issues – they will only attract LIKE.

          Like

          Reply

  51. Sophia
    Jan 17, 2012 @ 19:36:43

    So what happens when a PUA encounters a real Rules girl?

    Like

    Reply

    • Zorro
      Jan 17, 2012 @ 21:29:13

      Girl gets seriously fucked.

      Like

      Reply

    • Liza207
      Jan 18, 2012 @ 07:58:59

      The Rules says a woman should not make herself too available to anyone man, which should be the standard rule. In my experience, when applying the Rules when dealing with players (the real ones–hardcore players)–it usually throws them off their game. I do not make myself available to them for an easy lay and I do not give them anymore than what they are giving me. In other words, I would make them work for my time and attention and what I found is that you become the girl that beat them at their own game. It is usually a scenario similar to the one in that awful movie Boomerang–he feels he has met his match.

      I am sure it is no different for the PUA’s when their bullshit game is completely in effective on some chick using the Rules that they are attempting to game. However, they would probably not continue to pursue her the moment one of their well-calculated moves failed to work on her. The real players become intrigued and continue to chase for a while until I cut them off (I hate jerks but I just wanted to see if I could tame them somehow—I no longer do that, though) because they see me as a major challenge or they think I am “the one” because I’m so different from the others. You’re not like the other chicks that made themselves too available to them in the past.

      Yeah, the Rules (girl game) can be just as effective as guy game but the end game for us is getting a commitment—not getting laid.

      Like

      Reply

      • Marellus
        Jan 18, 2012 @ 09:31:10

        I dunno Liza. In this kind of interaction I think the openings are pivotal. If you have a good opening, you can set the tone of the conversation, and then dictate where the moves and countermoves are made.

        A silly example :

        Today I walked into a plant nursery and was minding my own bloody business, while mum went shopping. But you see, I’m weighing about 22 pounds less nowadays, so my pants are a bit loose.

        And there I was lifting my shirt to get to my sagging pants, when I saw the salesgirl staring at me.

        So picture me lifting my shirt which means there was quite a generous bit of skin showing, and suddenly seeing the salesgirl standing in front of me, and staring at me.

        What did I say ?

        “We meet again …” (I never met her before by the way)

        Her response was voluminous. I replied :

        “Why do you think we meet like this ?”

        Her response was full of philosophy.

        When she finished, I laughed and went walking through the shop. Later I saw her slip into my section and ogling me.

        So after we paid, I said to the salesgirl :

        “Same time next week ?”

        She smiled and said yes …

        All this because of a silly opening. I think a real player will hit you where you expect it the least, and there will be humor … always humor …

        Like

        Reply

        • Liza207
          Jan 18, 2012 @ 10:22:13

          Marellus,

          “We meet again”, that use to be a very common opening line here in the U.S. but more like, “Don’t I know you from somewhere? ” which would only work now on a woman that was already attracted to you physically upon seeing you before you spoke to her. I don’t believe that PUA openers are the typical– their methods/lines seem to be more unconventional. But if that is working for you across the pond, hey, more power to you.

          When you get hit a lot, you have to weed men out pretty quickly so his looks are what I focus on the most. If he is not physically appealing to me I don’t care about what is coming out of his mouth. I have already made the decision to disqualify him–but that is me. I am a tough customer when it comes to game.

          Like

          Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 19, 2012 @ 20:38:46

      I’m *somewhat* of a rules girl in the sense that I don’t believe in intimacy until a relationship and trust has been established. If a man is gaming women solely for sexual encounters, then he’d be brushed off by rules girls since the whole point of the game for him is sleeping with her.

      Gamers and PUA’s that do approach me i will say I may play along (especially if he is charming) but once I feel he is out to get a piece of booty I keep it moving. Most men who are up to no good or who only want to bed a woman, and they know the woman is not going to fall for the game, they just move on, once they see she isn;t biting.

      Game IMO has a two pronged approach. One approach i feel is totally for men who are picking up sleezy kinds of women who fall for that.

      The other which i think works, is the part of Game that teaches men how to keep women attracted by not being too much of a nice guy that she starts losing sexual attraction. I also like the part of GAME that teaches men that some dominating characteristics are key for attracting most women.

      Like

      Reply

  52. Marellus
    Jan 18, 2012 @ 14:04:33

    … Liza, if I had a son and he brought you home for an introduction, you have my word that I’d NEVER take the shotgun to you … I’ll just put some Viagra on his bedside table …

    Like

    Reply

  53. Sophia
    Jan 18, 2012 @ 15:22:29

    I think a lot of those lines that PUAs would work on me in the sense that I would be charmed and engaged. Marellus had some good ones. However, being charmed doesn’t mean letting them into my bed. Just would liven up the day and perhaps they’d get a date or two. They probably would quit after a couple of dates cause no action would be happening (at least, of the horizontal variety).
    My preference has always been for betas. I’ve seen too many “alpha” types in the conservative societies that I was raised in so they’re offputting to me, for the most part.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 19, 2012 @ 20:32:50

      I agree Sophia. Sometimes playful fun flirting and banter is fun and harmless. Its not like a woman has to accept every offer or even that every man flirting with her means he will get her in bed.

      Sometimes I like for a guy to flirt and nothing more. I think men should feel at ease flirting or complimenting a woman without feeling that there is a means to an end for doing so (i.e. getting laid or getting hte phone number).

      Once men get int he mindset that every woman he is flirting with is a potential for sex or intimacy is where they mess up.

      Like

      Reply

  54. Omerta327
    Jan 19, 2012 @ 06:35:12

    Totally O/T, but I thought this was interesting.

    Want to steer clear of the ‘hood? We got an app for that!!!

    http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2012/01/17/app-that-would-guide-users-away-from-high-crime-areas-proves-controversial/

    Like

    Reply

  55. Liza207
    Jan 19, 2012 @ 07:23:52

    Want to steer clear of the ‘hood? We got an app for that!!!

    LOL! To be honest, I don’t see much wrong with an app like this. My issue is with the name “Avoid the Ghetto” (horrible!) because when most people think of the “ghetto” it equals where most black people live–not entirely true, by the way.

    I think they just need to find another name for this app. What the hell was Microsoft thinking anyway?

    Like

    Reply

    • Omerta327
      Jan 19, 2012 @ 07:38:54

      I dunno. I guess calling it the “Avoid the Ghetto” app sounds better than calling it the “Avoid the Poor, High-Crime-Rate Neighborhoods” app.

      Rolls off the tongue a little easier.

      Like

      Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 19, 2012 @ 20:44:53

      I agree Liza. Ghetto is always associated with Black Americans. That would be like saying “Avoid the Trailer Parks” App. Most people would associate that with lower class White people.

      I can’t believe Microsoft would even go there with a name like that. If they want an App like that, I would certainly expect something a lot more classier than “Avoid the Ghetto App”.

      Like

      Reply

  56. Firepower
    Jan 19, 2012 @ 11:09:51

    the “Avoid the Ghetto” app
    is pre-built into BAPS
    For, In The Ghetto
    there’s no Jimmy Choo shoppes
    or iced mochachino caps…

    Lord Firepower, 2012

    Like

    Reply

  57. Seduction 101
    Aug 21, 2012 @ 04:30:09

    That is really attention-grabbing, You’re a very professional blogger. I’ve joined
    your rss feed and sit up for seeking extra of your great post.
    Additionally, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: