ROMANCING THE STONE(RS)….

ROMANTIC MOVIES?  – BLAH!

Raise your hand if you are one who looooves romance comedies and dramas on film?

Raise your hand if at one point you did like and go see those kinds of movies!

Raise your hand if you think romantic comedies are full of shit?

Raise your hand if you stopped going to see romantic films b/c you saw they were full of shit?

If you raised your hand to any of those (except numero uno), then you will probably love this post.

If you love romantic movies and comedies that always have some White woman as the object of desire be her a prostitute, a Nunn, a mass murderer, one who eats live babies for kicks,  she has one arm, one eye, one leg and one ear and  teeth like a tarantasorous  and YET AND STILL  has some hot charming man with a lot of money or insatiable good looks,  a lot of decent qualities, that is pursuing her relentlessly every  minute and hour of the day engulfing her with roses, love letters, walks in the park, serenades outside her window –  and then decides to sweep her off her feet and marry her and take her away from all of the horrible things of life (including her and her sketchy past) then PLEASE DO NOT READ this post. You will hate my guts and probably try to hunt me down and kill me for ruining your idea of the beloved American Romantic chick flick films. I’m going to give you a countdown to get the hell out before I get into the meat of this post..

5

4

3

2

1

M’kay now that we got rid of the asinine idiots who actually buy into the American Romance propaganda machine let’s get to BUSINESS BIDNESS!

ROMANCING THE STONE……..OR SHOULD IT BE ROMANCING THE “STONERS”

 Hollywood has its Romance movie stoners who get high off of the BS they sell with romance. The problem with American romance films is that they really do set real everyday men up for a lot of heartache and hurt and they also continue to make women believe a lie as well. In these movies the man is always mostly the vulnerable one.  The basis for most of these movies is some guy who is trying to get a girl is going above and beyond doing things to win her over and to win her affections. Usually he is portrayed as a sensitive, overly nice guy who does all of these romantic gestures without even really having some sort of confirmation from the woman that she likes him in that way. Usually he is doing all of these things BEFORE hand to win her over and then after the guy gets her all those romantic gestures stop. How assbackwards is that!

Hollywood has gotten it all wrong! A man should only be doing overly romantic gestures for a woman that he is (1) either already romantically involved with or (2) a woman he has some sort of intimacy with or (3) a woman that has CLEARLY shown the same interest and has clearly shown her sexual attraction to him in some way (usually through body language and non-verbal cues – which I will discuss further down). Other than that, a man doing all of these things for a woman who is CLEARLY not sexually interested in him in that way, is “creepy”  or better put – a damn fool! But the saying goes a fool and his money will soon part ways.

I could prolly sum this whole post up by saying men shouldn’t do that, but this is Neecysnest Nest where simple one paragraph concepts get turned into war and peace novels.

HOLLYWOOD – SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MOMMA PLEASE!

 Hardly ever do these movies focus on the meat of the relationship that a man and woman are already in. It’s always about the initial feel good stages and the PURSUIT. This is what irks me about romantic movies. I like to see a good love story like the next woman – but I want it to be deep and realistic. Most romantic movies aren’t. It’s not deep enough b/c it’s always mostly about the guy pursuing the woman and doing all of these asinine crazy things to win her over. Then by the end of the movie he wins her affections and we are left to *believe* they lived happily ever after. In my most Sha nay Nay ghetto tone with a finger snap – AH UH! That doesn’t cut it in Neecy’s book.

I understand it’s the movies and Hollywood and people want an escape. But when I want an escape I’ll go see an action film b/c  in no way shape or form will I or can I mirror action films in real life. IOW’s action flicks give you a big “DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME” signal and most sane persons can separate an intense and entertaining action flick from real life.  I know once I leave the movie theater I cannot strap myself onto a towering building and leap, I cannot fly in the air and save the world; I cannot turn into an action figure etc. That is, if I am not high on meth or heroine.

But if I go and see unrealistic “love” stories it is quite possible that I can try to apply what I saw in the movie to real life scenarios with the opposite sex. And this is what a lot of MEN are doing to their own chagrin.  What I am saying is when people become engulfed in too many romantic Hollywood movies, their ideals of love, relationships, men and women become unrealistic and they try to apply those same techniques or principles in real life when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. What they will ultimately find is that what the Hollywood screenwriter wrote and what the Hollywood director displayed on film is usually NOT the best route for the average guy and/or  is usually the surest way for a guy to be friend zoned or seen as damn near creepy OR a damn fool.

These movies almost ALWAYS never focus on showing the depth and complexities of women and rarely show men in a more charming masculine CONTROLLED state. The woman is simply wooed by a man doing all these things for her (even before being in a relationship with her where that stuff really counts) and paints women as simple easily  won creatures in that all a man has to do to win a woman over is do overly romantic gestures.  NOT!

He is always doing whatever it takes to get a woman. That is really not attractive to most women, although many women will *say* it’s amazing to see a man do this to win a woman over. First thing that is never established is if the woman is even interested. Or the woman is clearly not interested in the beginning, and then the guy starts doing any and everything to make himself appealing to her and *SUDDENLY* she falls in love with him? HA!

If a woman is not initially interested in a man sexually or romantically all these overly romantic gestures will do is annoy her or creep her out or see him as a desperate fool.

ACTION ! CUT!

(HOLLYWOOD IS GIVING MEN WOOD ALRIGHT….AND BLUE BALLS)

 Romantic movies usually never really focus on what it is that really makes women tick when it comes to how men pursue us and show interest in us. Yes women generally are flattered by male attention as long as it light hearted and not confining or as long as she doesn’t feel pushed in a corner.

But these romantic movies never really get to the meat and guts about what it is we really crave for in men.  It’s a lot easier to portray a man as catering to a woman than it is showing a man in his natural masculine state pursuing a woman and successfully getting that raw attraction from her vs. the contrived IDEALS that women are taught to want in men.

Supplicating to a woman that you are not in a romantic relationship with already is a turn off. WHY? Not b/c it’s an evil thing, but b/c in my eyes it’s not in a man’s nature to be supplicating to that degree with something or someone who is not giving him something in return. In my eyes, Men are usually very self-focused by nature and will almost never in their raw state give anything to anyone he has not established some sort of relationship with. This is the reward in winning a man over – he will then become supplicating towards you in some ways b/c he has an established relationship with you. A man doing supplicating out of that arena comes off as desperate.

So women and men who absorb these movies are sent messages on what things we “should” look for in a man, but never really addresses the complexities of what we REALLY WANT – a guy in the middle. Also, men are sent messages that women want the kind of guys we see in these kinds of movies and they start doing such things in real life to get women, only to walk away with less than favorable results.

We don’t want the overly nice sensitive schlub that goes out of his way to woo us (especially if we are not feeling him) and we also don’t want the jerk that is aloof and overly arrogant.   Women want a man that is confident and knows the right boundaries when it comes to pursuing us and keeping us attracted. The minute a man loses himself trying to get one woman – it signals to us in some way desperation or low self-value.

DOGS BOUNDARIES ARE A MAN’S BEST FRIEND

 This is where feminism came in and unfairly pointed men in the direction against their true masculine and charming selves. A charming man does not drop his boxers or boxer briefs to get a woman. He maintains a masculine energy and control and frame. If the woman doesn’t respond quickly and favorably he moves on to the next. Most men are taught to keep doing and doing until she finally gives in and “falls in love with him” for all of his romantic nice gestures. In real life this only leads to disastrous results mainly for the guy.

Every man should have his own boundaries of how far he is willing to go to get a woman he wants.

He needs to know what boundaries he is willing to set for himself and how far he will go in terms of letting the woman or showing the woman that he likes her. He also needs to understand HER boundaries.  Those boundaries should only go as far as playful flirting and flirty banter to gauge a woman’s response and interest based on her interaction. Once the response is positive, you need to shoot quickly to the next level or step

He also has to be willing to walk away fairly early if the results are not favorable based on the initial things he has done to get her interest. . If I’ts not favorable, STOP, DROP and ROLL your arse away from her and to the next woman of interest! Do not pass go, do not try to collect two hundred, just keep it moving for your own sake and hers.

Those boundaries*should* fall in the middle and not on either extremes (the super nice sensitive guy or the arrogant asshole/jerk). That’s too easy to just pick one and go with it. As I said women are complex, and in our complexities we like men who are more complex and able to teeter in the middle (which is a lot harder) than choosing to be either of the extremes.

 WHEN KEEPING IT REAL REAL FAKE GOES WRONG

 So what happens? Women then leave the theatres in their female posse packs shouting “awwww that was soooo sweet!!” and  with more mixed and confused feelings on what it is she wants in a man and how to look for it. Often times women are guilted into liking the nice overly sensitive romantic guy who pursues her relentlessly – b/c “he understands her” “he’s nice” “he’s there for her”. And that internal struggle continues with women and thus why so many women cannot really express or say what it really is they want in a man – and will often end up in relationships with men more so out of feeling she “has” to be with that kind of guy rather than her raw feelings of wanting to be with him.

Many women feel guilty for saying she wants a masculine man with somewhat dominant traits and a solid frame. Feminism has taken that comfort away b/c any woman that admits to liking a strong dominant man who Is in control and not supplicating is considered weak or male identified.

Really what women want (even the most straight feminist women) is a man that knows the right amount of flattery and pursuit to keep her interested without her feeling he is some desperate schlub doing anything and saying anything to get a date or some booty.

Inside we know what we don’t want but may not be able to express it – THAT OVERLY NICE GUY IN THE MOVIE, but cannot express this out of guilt or even confusion b/c many women feel these are the guys she should like and be with and then she ends up with that kind of guy only to realize she is not really attracted to him. In situations like this extreme passive aggressive forms of communications start to take over the woman and the man is often treated unkindly.

The Hollywood producers, directors, screenwriters are JUST as affected by westernized *ideals* of love as is everyone else. They just exploit it. But what they are not telling and showing you is what RAWLY attracts women and what will work for most men in getting a woman he likes and KEEPING her. They throw all caution to the wind and tell the guy to drop his boxers (or boxer briefs) to win a woman over – even without him really knowing how she really feels about him.

Don’t get me wrong, when someone is pursuing something or someone, you always want to put your best foot forward and you also have to distinguish by doing things that show the other person that you are interested in them for more than a friendship. That’s fine. But when it comes to doing things that go above and beyond and you don’t even have confirmation of any sort that the woman also shares that same interest, then it will eventually become a bigger problem down the line for the man.

ROMANTIC GESTRES ARE GREAT!……IF YOU’RE SOMEBODY’S MAN or ESTABLISHED BOOTY CALL REGULAR.

 Guys. Women love romance and nice gestures from a man – mainly when she is already interested in him or in a relationship with him. As Liza pointed out, women  often do not really enjoy romantic gestures and things from men they have no interest in, in that way. In the beginning it’s flattering and then often times it can turn into becoming creepy, uncomfortable and/or annoying. Mainly b/c if a woman doesn’t like a man in a romantic fashion or if she is not initially attracted to him in some way,  it spoils the idea she has in her head of romance. It suddenly becomes GROSS. SO avoid romantic things for women you haven’t already gained some solid confirmation that she also likes you in the same manner or women you are not already intimate with in some way.

Now, you may be asking, how the hell does a man show his interest in a woman if he doesn’t go out of his way doing romantic things for her.

YES a man typically does the pursuing and most women are very fond of this masculine trait. But a man has to know and be creative about what things he will do to show her his interest and to try to get her that will not put him in an awkward or negative light and will not make her feel awkward or uncomfortable.

Honestly, the only safe thing to do is be up front early on and do not waste your time doing things to win her over, only to later see that she doesn’t feel that way about you. IOW’s shoot first and ask questions later. Its better on a woman to be able to quickly and very early on let a guy down then to have her feel he manipulated her and did things *JUST* to win her over when he saw she had no interest.

NEECY’S MAINTENANCE MAN  – THE POSTER CHILD FOR –  

A FOOL AND HIS MONEY AND/OR TIME WILL SOON PART WAYS

(if he doesn’t come across a Neecy type who understands these things)

  I live in a nice apartment complex and one of the maintenance guys here has really gone out of his way to be helpful with me and to do things for me that would be considered going out of his way and out of normal things the maintenance man would do for tenants. If I buy things that need assembly (yes Neecy is” assembly required” disabled) – he puts it together for me. If I need additional things done around  my apartment that I would have difficulty doing or that I cannot do myself and would have to call my father or a man to do, he does it. I never asked him to do these things, he just offered one day out of seeing me carrying some items to my apartment. Before he actually started doing things for me, he ALWAYS went out of his way to let me know how nice I looked and always asked if I needed help around my apartment he’d be happy to do it for me.

I know he  likes me, b/c he has hinted many times to dinner or going out in very subtle ways.  He is a nice guy and I won’t lie its very convenient to be able to have someone that is in close proximity to come and do things around my apartment that I cannot do.  so what I have done to keep from being put in an awkward situation is  I pay him something everytime he does something for me , although he demands that I do not give him anything for what he does for me and he will often try to hand me the money back. But I feel if I don’t offer him payment for his services eventually if and when  that hammer drops,  I can feel comfortable in saying I am not interested in him in that way and  that I did not use him or lead him on or have him do all these things for me without me reciprocating in some way knowing he likes me.

I also have discovered through conversation with him  that other women in the complex have benefited from his services and he has complained to me that he feels “they are using him”. So I see what he is up to and while I do appreciate his help, I  will only accept it if I can pay him b/c he is the type of guy that does things for women he is attracted to and then complains later when he doesn’t get anything in return. So I have decided to keep things clean and pay him each and every time he helps me.

The problem is most women do not think like this b/c they are truly unaware of how to handle such things. They really believe its normal for a guy to do things for them even if he isn’t getting anything in return. Even if the woman knows a guy likes her,  many still feel its normal for a man who likes a woman to do things for her to show his liking of her. But in these scenarios, usually the man who is doing all of that is the one who rarely gets to first base with a woman and will eventually be friend zoned.

There are a million other stories I could tell from my own experiences and the experiences from friends and female family members who come across unknowing men like this – who think the way to win a woman over is to do all kinds of nice and helpful things for her.

The key here is , guys don’t ever do anything for a woman you are not in a relationship with if you       are expecting a return. And ladies if you are presented with a situation where your intuition may be telling you a guy is doing things for you b/c eventually he wants to ask you out and you are not feeling him that way, ALWAYS offer payment for his services or something in return of the same value (No not sex!).

Men,  If you do something for a woman you are not intimate with already, understand you should do it from the heart with no expectations or simply do not do it at all unless it’s a strictly platonic thing where the woman is either paying you or giving you something of the same value in return.

 THE WESTERN WOMAN’S INTERNAL STRUGGLE

 I believe that Western women do struggle with expressing what it really is we love and want in men and will typically go for the obvious “feel good, sound good” bites like “I want a sensitive guy” “I want a nice guy” “I want a romantic guy” but still doesn’t know how to mention the other qualities that would balance that kind of guy out and make her rawly attracted to him. I don’t really blame men for not knowing either, but I do wish more men would learn to read nonverbal cues from women b/c it would save them a lot of heartache and unwanted romantic gestures. (next post will discuss women and our forms of indirect communication and non verbal cues that men tend to ignore – stay tuned)

What American women *SAY* they are attracted to in most men is not raw attraction but more so TAUGHT ideals that women *should* want and seek in men. I’m not saying that women don’t want a guy that pursues her or does romantic things for her. But she only wants that from a guy she already has the same level of sexual or intimate interest in.  If its not a guy she has interest in, that spoils the image and idea of romance she has in her head – which is a bad thing b/c anything that sours a woman’s imagination of something good is NOT good and you will feel the wrath! lol

Basically all these feminist and white knighting romantic movies have  done is create a big mosh pit of bullshit in the relationship arena about what really makes women tick and how men should behave in the SMP when trying to get a woman.

Advertisements

310 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MK
    Jan 20, 2012 @ 16:24:31

    The Adam Sandler movie The Wedding Singer is a good romantic flick that pretty much mirrors reality (to some extent).
    His first relationship was a disaster he was acting sort of beta and the chick viewed him as lower status due to not fulfilling his potential as a rockstar and he became overly sentimental etc.. He had his moment when she wanted him back but he wisely let sleeping dogs lie and kicked her to the curb.

    The relationship with Drew Barrymore’s character he was able to have fun again be playful and not overly needy. He got his alpha swagger back and met someone more like him.

    Like

    Reply

    • MK
      Jan 20, 2012 @ 16:26:07

      And I forgot to add I think if the world economy ever collapses and we have to go back to the barter system paying people in meatballs should be considered as a top option as the new medium of exchange.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 20, 2012 @ 17:16:39

        Haha! But the meatballs still cost money and time cause you gotta make them.

        Like

        Reply

      • zorro
        Jan 20, 2012 @ 18:52:50

        I’d be the richest man in the world, because I make meatballs that are criminally fucking delicious! I shit you not.

        I’m at work right now, or I’d post my meatball recipe for all of you lovely people.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 21, 2012 @ 09:19:52

          Hmmmm. I like the taste of meatballs but I don’t eat them often. Maybe you should post a recipe but you also have to post the sauce recipe as well.

          Like

          Reply

          • Zorro
            Jan 21, 2012 @ 12:22:01

            I’m getting ready to go to work, then it’s my 3-day weekend. I’ll post both then.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:09:24

              *tapping foot with arms folded impatiently* UHM still waiting on that meatball and sauce recipe. And please throw in the lasagna recipe while you’re at it! Spanks!! 😀

              Like

              Reply

              • Zorro
                Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:45:46

                2 lbs meat portions

                2 eggs beaten
                1 C Italian bread crumbs
                3T grated Parmesan
                small onion chopped very fine and sautéed
                1/2t salt
                1/8 C milk
                sprig Parsley

                5 lbs meat portions

                4 lbs. ground beef
                1 lb. ground pork
                5 eggs beaten
                2 C Italian bread crumbs
                8T grated Parmesan
                2 small onions finely chopped and sautéed
                ¼ C milk
                3 sprigs Parsley

                This is the meatball part of the equation. The thing is…once you hammer out the meatballs, you have to “cook” them. And that means you put them into a medium-hot fry pan to sear them to keep the flavor in. But they’re not *cooked* yet. The insides are still pink…like a girl.

                So you put them aside in a bowl.

                Then you make the sauce…NEXT POST.

                Like

                Reply

                • Neecy
                  Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:26:53

                  *putting fingers to lips like Italians* MUAH!

                  Like

                  Reply

                • zorro
                  Jan 25, 2012 @ 15:32:54

                  I forgot to mention. the meat mixture is 80% ground beef and 20% ground pork. Do not skimp on the quality of the meat. As for the beef, I have had good results with 85% lean…some people think they’re juicier, but as long as they’re seared on the outside with the middle left pink, they will cook great in the sauce in about an hour.

                  And use fresh grated parmesan to make them. Huuuuuge difference. Fresh spices if you can find them (parseley…).

                  Once you get your game down with the meatballs and you have the perfect Italian wine and the sauce is great, a huge kettle of meatballs and sauce is great to put into smaller Tupperware containers and stored in the freezer for when you don’t feel like cooking. WARNING: If you use a microwave to defrost them, use a very low setting or the meatballs will crumble. Best to let thaw on the shelf out of the sun or over a couple days in the fridge.

                  Moose out.

                  Like

                  Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 20, 2012 @ 17:15:47

      lol that movie was hilarious! But I saw it a long time ago and the main thing I remember most is that guy singing boy George “do you really wanna hurt me” song sounding a hawt awful ass mess!! lollll!

      Like

      Reply

  2. MK
    Jan 20, 2012 @ 17:18:28

    Has the handyman with an agenda offered to clean out any pipes?

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 20, 2012 @ 17:28:28

      LOL! No not yet. For now it’s just “you should try salsa dancing with me it’s fun!” or it’s ” you know I wanted to try this happy hour at this place but I dunno maybe you wanna try it too and we can meet there”

      Sigh.

      Like

      Reply

  3. zorro
    Jan 20, 2012 @ 18:50:29

    Some years ago I swapped emails with a man named Billy Mernit. He wrote “the book” on romantic comedies. The only book on romantic comedies. You can see it on Amazon, and it’s really good. I had recently begun my own novel, a comedy, and I had trouble with how plot correlates to theme, and he really helped me out. So I read his book and you’d be surprised how much planning must go into a rom-com.

    One of the things that will kill or make a rom-com is the pairing of the male and female leads. Pretty Woman with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts made some money, but is regarded as a very weak rom-com because those two very talented and attractive actors–in the opinion of most audiences–just did not belong together. Kathleen Turner and Mike Douglas in Romancing the Stone paired much better. Also, that film is highlighted in Dr. Dara Marks’ brilliant book, Inside Story: The Power of the Transformational Arc, which is a seminal work on how characters change incrementally over the period of a story.

    My two cents.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 21, 2012 @ 09:22:34

      I agree. But honestly there hasn’t been a good romantic comedy lately like there used to be in the past. I liked when Harry met Sally.

      Rom Coms get a bit more leeway simply b/c they are comedies and cannot be taken too too seriously.

      For the most part I like love stories that are deep and realistic and have more character depth to them. Most H-Wood love stories don’t really cover love stories like that.

      I would like to create film and love stories featuring Back women and foreign men or in interracial relationships. I guess some love comedies are fine if they are more realistic.

      Like

      Reply

    • Marellus
      Jan 22, 2012 @ 00:55:45

      … ever warch The English Patient ?. It’s one of my favourite movies.

      Like

      Reply

  4. Mark Slater
    Jan 20, 2012 @ 19:34:39

    I can imagine Neecy batting her eyes and playing the “helpless girl” bit so the hero Maintenance Man can assemble her (bookcase? entertainment center? S+M torture rack?)

    Women, I believe, enjoy romantic comedies the same way men like action/adventure flicks. We know we aren’t going to storm the beaches at Normandy or Kung-fu our way past villianous drug-lords to rescue the Senator’s sexy daughter, but we still like to watch them.

    Most men, I would think, do not take romantic comedies as a lesson on what to do with a girl we barely know.

    Further observations:
    “..some White woman as the object of desire be her a prostitute, a Nunn, a mass murderer, one who eats live babies for kicks…”

    I’ve shown great restraint in correcting your spelling errors, but…

    Nunn is a fine and noble last name
    Nun is a woman who has received holy orders and lives a life devoted to chastity

    And again with the “eating live babies” thing. I’m beginning to worry about you.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 21, 2012 @ 09:27:17

      Hey Mark!

      I dunno. I do think that men and women do actually walk away from a lot of romance films thinking these things can be applied in real life. in fact I see a lot of men out there today doing the stupid things that the guys in the romance stories are doing for me not to believe that some men are not taking thier hints and cues from something. Maybe its art imitating life or vice versa.

      I’ll give more leeway on romantic comedies b/c they are meant to be more funny than have depth to them. And yes I enjoy romatic comedies if they are a bit more realistic. But most love stories in H-Wood are whack IMO. Although I never go tot he movies to see romantic comedies anymore.

      Yes a lot of women see them b/c of the escape and belief that she could be that woman in the movie. I don’t get caught up in that personally.

      And who says that only men enjoy action flicks??? i don’t go pay to see romatic comedies at all and usually when I go to the movies I go b/c I am seeing some action/adventure flick.

      Like

      Reply

    • Zorro
      Jan 21, 2012 @ 12:24:59

      I can imagine Neecy batting her eyes and playing the “helpless girl” bit so the hero Maintenance Man can assemble her (bookcase? entertainment center? S+M torture rack?)

      Spanking bench, with Velcro wrist and ankle restraints. Hugh Jackman sold separately

      Like

      Reply

  5. PermanentGuest
    Jan 20, 2012 @ 23:16:00

    -Every man should have his own boundaries of how far he is willing to go to get a woman he wants.

    Excellent quote, and post as well.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 21, 2012 @ 09:28:44

      Hey PG! Long time no see! Happy new year and thank you. I do believe that every man should keep that idea in the back of his head when it comes to going after a woman. if more did, they wouldn’t lose themselves or even make fools of themselves to get nothing in return.

      Like

      Reply

  6. Omerta327
    Jan 21, 2012 @ 10:18:23

    Wow. Great post, Neecemeister.

    Really don’t have much to add – you pretty much nailed all points. I give you a Gold Star. Nice job.

    Obviously rom coms are geared towards women, and that reminded me of something that I think represents the fundamental differences between moviegoing men and women.

    I remember going to see Speed with a bunch of my friends back in the day. Remember the scene where Sandra Bullock is driving the bus and there’s about a 50-foot gap in the highway? Not only is she able to jump this cavernous gap with a friggin BUS, she even sticks the landing and keeps right on going!

    Every girl in theater was cheering – YAAAY!!!

    Every guy in the theater was going, “Oh come on! That’s bullsh*t!!!”

    My point is, I think in general, men look for more realism in movies than women. But when men start to see too many fem-centric rom-coms, they begin to see that AS realism, when as you point out, it definitely isn’t.

    Just a thought.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 22, 2012 @ 08:45:08

      Omerta you are right Rom Coms are definitley geared towards women b/c they somehow make many women think that could be them in the movie. That is why i say the woman could be the ugliest, trashiest, or plainest jane walking and the fact some hot guy is chasing her trying to win her affection makes average women feel this too could be them.

      When i was younger I got into all of that, but as I got older I realized those movies were for the most part BS. Some of the rom coms I enjoy b/c they are more funny than anything and obviously don’t take themselves too seriously.

      Also, as Black woman i tend to think we often do not get into those movies as well b/c we cannot relate as we never see women who look like us being the object of affections.

      Like

      Reply

      • Omerta327
        Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:29:02

        Also, as Black woman i tend to think we often do not get into those movies as well b/c we cannot relate as we never see women who look like us being the object of affections.

        That is true, isn’t it? You hardly ever see black or latina women being fawned over in these flicks.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:33:17

          NEVER. I as a Black woman no longer support ANYTHING thta seeks to leave us out or not acknowledge that we too are women.

          Many of the mainstream rom coms have had J-Lo in then – They have allowed Jennifer Lopez to play in a few but ususally she is portrayed as an Italian and not really a Latina.

          I can’t relate to J-Lo either. She looks more like a Non Black woman than a woman of color.

          Like

          Reply

  7. Omerta327
    Jan 21, 2012 @ 10:44:07

    Alright, I got a little story to tell.

    Remember a couple of months bach when I mentioned the “user” chick?https://neecysnest.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/appreciate-before-you-depreciate/#comment-2976

    She and I dated on and off for a while about 4 or 5 years ago. She moved down to Florida for a while and moved back up here to CT about 4 months ago.

    Over the last 4 months, I’ve seen her around from time to time, and she’s been very cool – very well-behaved around me. To the point where I thought, maybe this girl has grown up a bit, maybe she’s got all that flightyness out of her system. She seemed like maybe she’d changed.

    WELL…

    After I got out of work last night I stopped into a bar where some of my friends were hanging out, and she was there. She saw me, came up to me, gave me a big hug to say hi, how are you, you know. Anyway, she was there with her new boyfriend. She introduced me to him, I shook hands with him, hey what’s up, nice to meet you.

    So I talk to her for about a minute or so and her boyfriend is talking to somebody else. At the end of the conversation, she leans in and gives me this big wet kiss. I mean a full-on “mmm” kinda kiss.

    So I immediately say to her, “You do this right in front of your boyfriend?”

    Without even batting an eye she goes, “Eh, his back is turned!”

    😯 Holy sh*t on a shingle, REALLY???

    I said to her, in all seriousness, “You haven’t changed one bit, have you?”

    She just laughed it off.

    Wow. That told me everything I ever need to know about her. Unreal.

    Like

    Reply

    • Liza207
      Jan 21, 2012 @ 11:25:34

      Wow, she sounds absolutely awesome. A real winner. Yeah, his back is turned and I am available now. Awful. LOL!

      Like

      Reply

      • Omerta327
        Jan 21, 2012 @ 11:50:11

        The rest of the time I was there, I’m seeing her hugging and kissing on this guy, and all I can think is, “This guy has NO idea what he’s getting himself into.”

        Meh, ain’t my problem.

        Like

        Reply

        • Marellus
          Jan 22, 2012 @ 00:57:58

          teell some more. This is interesting. It doesn’t seem as if you have trouble attracting women though.

          Like

          Reply

          • Marellus
            Jan 22, 2012 @ 00:59:43

            I meant to write “tell” *sigh* My spelling would have been flawless had the beer been American.

            Like

            Reply

            • Omerta327
              Jan 22, 2012 @ 07:58:40

              Nah, you’ve just been hangin’ around w/ Neecy too much. HA!

              I keed, I keed…

              Like

              Reply

            • Zorro
              Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:10:32

              Yeah, yeah. That old Monty Python joke. “Why is American beer like making love in a canoe? Because it’s fucking close to water!

              Seriously, the American beer that is exported is dog piss. We’ve got silly ridiculous microbrews here that are EPIC and have an alcohol content from 6-14%.

              There’s one I particularly like, called Arrogant Bastard, that has 7.9% alcohol and uses a vicious bitter finishing hops. Your South African clicks will come out like slurs, dude. It will mess you up. And it tastes like pickle brine. I LOVE IT!!!

              Like

              Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 22, 2012 @ 08:52:01

          I’m sure soon enough we’ll see him posted up on Heartistes complaining about this skank and how she cheated on him etc.

          Like

          Reply

          • Omerta327
            Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:30:23

            Maybe she’ll cheat on him w/ me and the circle will be complete. 😎

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:37:23

              Hmmm. I’d lose all respect for you and say you would get all you deserve for continuing to mess around with a skank like that. She already showed herself as trash for saying she was using that guy for dinner and drinks then calling you up for sex afterwards. Now she is in the same place with her man and kissing you right behind his back?? UGH! How can you even be attracted to someone like that?

              This is why so many men are constantly getting burned. Fooling up with skanks like that and then later wondering why things went haywire. if you contiuned to fool around with a chick like that – especially since she has a b/f – you’re askin for some bad karma. But whatever floats yer boat!

              Like

              Reply

          • Marellus
            Jan 24, 2012 @ 03:09:22

            Make me.

            Like

            Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 22, 2012 @ 08:45:48

      OMG that girl is a total SKANK Omerta! Stay away from her. LOL

      It sounds like she gets off on doing sneaky shit behind a man’s back. Definitley someone you should be glad you are no longer with.

      Like

      Reply

      • Omerta327
        Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:31:45

        Yeah, definitely not a girl you wanna get emotionally involved with.

        I almost feel sorry for this guy. Almost.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:38:57

          “emotionally” involved with? How about not involved with at all. She is trash. But Like Liza and i said, slutty and trashy chicks are what men like so…..

          Like

          Reply

          • Omerta327
            Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:44:22

            Wow. Looks like I’ve touched a nerve here.

            You’re taking my words WAAAY to seriously. :mrgreen:

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:49:00

              Well it doesn’t sound to me like you were joking.

              Yes I would lose respect for you after everything you told me about her since I always saw you in higher regards than to stoop to the level of a chick like that.

              You said “emotionally” involved as if there were other “OK” ways to be involved with a woman like that – who has shown to be a user and borderline cheater.

              My whole complaint on this blog has been about how trashy chicks like that keep getting rewarded by doods and then doods later complain about being burned and treated like shit.

              If trashy skanks stopped being rewarded for their behavior, then there would be less trashy skanks in the world and less men on heartiste bitching about how they got wronged b/c they were constantly going after skanks and got what they deserved.

              Like

              Reply

              • Omerta327
                Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:55:14

                Jeez, Neece, take it easy. Like I said, I’ve been there and I ain’t going back.

                Touched a nerve? Looks like I touched the whole damn spinal column.

                Like

                Reply

                • Neecy
                  Jan 22, 2012 @ 10:09:11

                  Hmm maybe I need to have a bowl of chocolate and honey nut cheerio’s?

                  Well maybe you did touch a nerve b/c I didn’t really interpret you as joking and I would just hate to think a decent guy would allow himself to fall into a bad trap like that, which was what it sounded like to me.. But since you say it was a joke, then I’ll back off – and have a bowl of orgasmic cerial. 😉

                  Like

                  Reply

              • Liza207
                Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:38:04

                My whole complaint on this blog has been about how trashy chicks like that keep getting rewarded by doods and then doods later complain about being burned and treated like shit.
                —-
                I was not that surprised to hear this from the beginning I believed that most guys who end up patronizing the manosphere are there because they have been dealing mostly low quality women they have been burned by repeatedly. What gets me the most about the men who frequent the manosphere is how they are always chastising women for rewarding jerks and assholes with sex and whatever else?

                Meanwhile, these very same men have been rewarding skanks and borderline personality nut job women with love, devotion and even marriage. Now, they have had their fill of the madness—they are now seeking out sane emotionally healthy women (I see nothing wrong with that at all). Now, those women will put under a microscope and will be subject to litmus tests. In other words, you have to now PROVE to them that you’re different and worthy of their love and devotion. Meanwhile, before you came along they were just giving it away without a thought to unworthy women. Or you have those men who see all women as the spawn of Satan and the enemy to be trashed and denigrated because they allowed themselves to abused and used by them.

                No one can do any to you that you do not allow them to do. They are just doing what they do. It is up to you to either deal with it or walk the f**k away.

                Like

                Reply

                • Omerta327
                  Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:15:36

                  I dunno Liza. Me personally, I always assume a girl is healthy and sane until she proves otherwise.

                  Problem is, most of them end up proving themselves otherwise.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:29:44

                    LOL that is the best approach although I do believe often times there are tell tale signs that a lot of dudes (even the ones with the best intentions of avoiding such chicks) will overlook in the beginning b/c she is hot. its like a lot of guys feel that every hot woman that crosses their paths should be given a chance. But what happens is, he ends up getting caught up in her looks and starts overlooking signs of CRAZY and then before you know it you are invested in some sort of relationship.

                    The advice heartiste gives about not being too flustered by a womans looks will certainly hep a lot of men who throw all caution to the wind simply b/c of how a woman looks. maybe this will help more men avoid getting trapped up in looks and start giving equal amount of attention and observation to a woman’s personality and character traits as well.

                    Like

                    Reply

                • Neecy
                  Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:24:44

                  Meanwhile, these very same men have been rewarding skanks and borderline personality nut job women with love, devotion and even marriage.

                  EXACTLY Liza! The pendulem swings both ways in these cases. Those men complain about women rewarding jerks and buttheads with sex and intimacy, yet what do they do? they do not see they are the male version of the women they complain about who rewards slutts and loonies with love, devotion, relaitonships. They seem to think women with BPD are “hot” and great catches, until these chicks do something crazy and hurt them.

                  That is what i am starting to realize here. Its a case of water seeking its on level a lot of times in these mens complaints about “women”. Instead of poitnig the finger to women always going after jerks they need to be asking themselves why so many men like themselves go after skanks and crazies. of course their excuse is *ALWAYS* “well men like hot women”. Yeah as if skanks and crazies are the only hot women walking around.

                  Water seeks its own level and that is why i refuse to get caught up with a guy who has messed around with more than a couple loonies bc that means he’ll be brining baggae to our relationship and expecting me to do the same things she did. I avoid those guys like the plague. A LOT of men I meet are always bragging about this like its something to be proud of (all of the crazy bitches they have been with and now want a healthy emotionally stable woman). Then they wonder why I have no interest? HA!

                  Its one thing for a guy or girl to possibly get caught off guard with a loony once or twicein their dating history, but after that its obvious that he’s drawn to those types and should be kept at a streetlight’s distance. Same with women who have been with too many losers and jerks. Both groups are usually too damaged to even have a healthy relationship after too many skanks and jerks.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Liza207
                    Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:53:41

                    I believe it is the “crazy chick sex”. I heard it is the hottest. Oh, my god. Really?

                    I think some guys have been programmed to be white-knightners (white men). So, these chicks probably appeal to that in them.

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:30:29

                      Yeah the crazy chick sex is hot to them. But That isn’t the problem if they were just having sexual encounters ever so often with women like this. But these guys are literally making these chicks the wife and LTR g/f. LOL What do they expect! That is like girls trying to make the player and asshole the b/f or husband. Doesn’t work.

                      Like

  8. Omerta327
    Jan 21, 2012 @ 11:18:43

    One more thing, neece. Your post reminded me of a book this lady I work with was reading a while back.
    http://www.amazon.com/Maintenance-Man-Michael-Baisden/dp/096436753X#_

    It’s midnight… do you know where your woman is? lol…

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:24:31

      OMG LOL Black people and their sexual dramas. As i was reading the synopsis of this book i was ROOOOOLLIN and shaking my head at the same time!

      I can see some Black woman getting into a book like this!

      And it was written by MICHAEL BAISDEN – nuff said. He and his ilk irk the living daylights outta me. That would be him and Steve Harvey. UGH!

      Like

      Reply

      • Omerta327
        Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:35:22

        Yeah, I remember thumbing thru the book a bit and it’s just pure SMUT. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

        The funniest thing is my co-worker didn’t buy the book – she borrowed it from the Bridgeport Public Library! Ha! This shit is in the damn LIBRARY! LMAO

        Like

        Reply

    • Liza207
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:45:19

      Complete dreck. Sometimes I think a lot of black people love to gravitate to anything (including literature) that in their minds confirms their low opinions of themselves.

      Like

      Reply

  9. Marellus
    Jan 22, 2012 @ 01:04:46

    Neecy.

    You’ve nailed it. There’s nothing I can add.

    Now about the maintenance man : Whatever your reservations are about this man, you must admit that what counts in his favour, is that he’s not brazenly sexual in his interactions with you. He is holding himself in with you, which means he respects you.

    Now if only he could try and tease you a bit … and I think he’ll do a lot better. But he won’t. It’s just the way he thinks.

    Like

    Reply

    • MK
      Jan 22, 2012 @ 08:56:35

      I think Neecy had his intentions spot on especially since he provided evidence by complaining about the other chicks in the building who did not reward his “barter” service mentality.
      Changing his approach would probably be difficult at this point he is used to serving for nothing and enjoys being the martyr. His better approach would be to charge a fair wage for the work show a little charm while doing the job and joke that he hasn’t seen that much hair in a drain since he cleaned out Chewbhaka’s sink.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:04:08

        Spot on MK! And LMAO @ the Chewbaka reference LOL!

        He has lost his credibility now. I and all of the other women in the complex are aware of what he is doing. While I haven’t spoke directly to any other women in the complex about him (b/c i don’t want to get him in trouble since most things he does for me and others is off the record and he is not supposed to be doing anything for anyone in thier apartment without having a maintenance ticket where we call in to have things fixed) It seems a lot of these other women he has complained about, no longer look to him for help anymore. I think this is why he is now complaining about all of them all the time. These women probably stopped allowing him to help b/c he either dropped the hammer and they declined or they figured he was up to something. Me, i feel as long as I pay him, he ha snothing to complain about even when i decline his offers to go out to Happy hour or salsa dancing. lol

        Like

        Reply

        • Omerta327
          Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:38:15

          This poor dude need to learn some game.

          Or at least read “The Maintenance Man”. 😯

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:42:33

            OH GOD NO! Not “The maintenance man”. unless he wants to get thrown in jail b/c one of the women in the complex called the cops on his ass. LOL

            There’s still hope for him to change and switch things up for the new and incoming hotties in the building. LOL. Maybe I can help him? ha!

            Like

            Reply

            • Omerta327
              Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:49:30

              How old is this guy?

              Like

              Reply

              • Neecy
                Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:52:58

                Late 40’s early 50’s…

                Like

                Reply

                • Omerta327
                  Jan 22, 2012 @ 09:56:23

                  Hmm, That dog might be a little too old to teach any new tricks.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 22, 2012 @ 10:12:51

                    LOL!

                    Well news yesterday (when i saw him) was that his bro in law won the mega millions lottery (5 million) and he was showing me his new range rover his brother in law bought for him. LOL He’s flossin like a mofo now! I’m sure some hypergamous woman looking for a sugar daddy will see the Rover and think “cha ching!”. Maybe he does have game. he knows there are women out there who will be impressed with his car and think he has money. haha

                    He’s nice i actually do want him to find a woman.

                    Like

                    Reply

                • Omerta327
                  Jan 22, 2012 @ 10:28:41

                  Huh, how about that. I’m sure that range rover will help him pull some tail.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 22, 2012 @ 10:35:04

                    I’m sure that is why he got that. And i am sure he is hiting ole bro in law up for some more “flossations”. LOL

                    You should have seen the gleam in his eyes when he was showing me his rover. Its almost like he knew his status was going to change from booty starvation to booty buffet! LOL

                    Like

                    Reply

                • Omerta327
                  Jan 22, 2012 @ 10:40:15

                  How much ya wanna bet that the first time he got in his new RR, he did the “We’re goin’ to Sizzler” dance?

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 22, 2012 @ 10:53:06

                    Bahhahhaaaaa!!!

                    LOL I know right. You are in a nice expensive ride but cannot afford a nice expensive diner. Maybe the bro in law gave him some spending cash to go with it? I’m hoping.

                    And do they even make Sizzler’s anymore? OMG when i was younger my mother and I used to hit Sizzlers up ALL.THE.TIME. I loooved that place.

                    Like

                    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 22, 2012 @ 08:57:34

      You’re right marellus, if this guy was being sexual or being out of line, he would not be allowed to even come into my house.

      But i don’t think he is that type of guy anyway. He is nice and all and there are a lot of attractive women in my complex, so i think he just keeps trying to throw things against the wall to see if one will finally stick (iow’s see if one of us will eventually go out with him if he keeps doing all these helpful things for the attractive women in the complex).

      The annoying thing about him though, is he is the type of guy that complains afterwards if he does something for you and you didn’t give him anything in return – even though he says he doesn’t want anything and he’s just doing it to be helpful.

      So that is why i pay him. He doesn’t even realize that he is complaining to me about the other women and how I am seeing the kind of man he is for doing that. He actually thinks complaining about these other womenin front of me is flattering to me, but actually he is making himself look bad bc I have been around men like him before who get mad when they do things for girls they like (even if she didn’t ask him and HE OFFERED and said he doesn’t expect anythingin return) then gets mad afterwards if she doesn’t accept some invitiation to go out etc.

      Like

      Reply

  10. zorro
    Jan 22, 2012 @ 03:05:46

    So, anyway, I’m reading your post again. And at the beginning, where you say, “raise your hand if you think romantic comedies are stupid,” I’m goin’ yeah, fuck those stupid romantic comedies! and I actually raise my hand.

    My boss comes over and says, “Why are you looking at some chick blog at work with your fuckin’ hand up in the air?”

    I give him some stupid lame excuse about having a muscle cramp in my shoulder because I jerk off whenever I watch romantic comedies, and that the woman I work with was the one who tuned into NEECY’S NEST, and took off to the bathroom just before I sat down at the computer with a sore shoulder.

    Dumb shit bought every word, and the woman I work with will probably get her internet privileges suspended.

    I’m such an asshole.

    Like

    Reply

  11. Neecy
    Jan 22, 2012 @ 15:55:47

    O/T

    Talk of the town is Khloe karsashian is a child from one of her mothers affairs. I think we all can see she obviously looks different from the others whose father was karsashian. Just thought it was interesting since she plainly admits to having extra marital affairs behind her ex husbands back and now his widow is saying that he knew about the affairs and that Khloe was possibly not his but he never demanded a DNA test and accepted Khloe as his own and even stayed with his skank of a wife after all her affairs.

    In her book (kris Jenner) she quoted as saying she had wild sex with her affair dude everywhere.

    Ugh

    Like

    Reply

    • Omerta327
      Jan 22, 2012 @ 16:01:12

      And this is surprising how?

      Tabloid gossip eats away at the soul – avoid it at all costs.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 22, 2012 @ 16:16:43

        I know, I know but what else are ya gonna do while standing in a long assed check out line at…..ahem……Walmart!?

        Like

        Reply

        • Omerta327
          Jan 22, 2012 @ 16:29:57

          Hey no shame there. I shop a Walmart, too. There’s one right across the street from my gym. I stop in there all the time to pick up stuff.

          I guess that explains why there’s such a huge chasm in the looks dept. between Khloe and Kim / Courtney. How in the hell did Khloe land Lamar Odom anyway? As a matter of fact, why do I always see black guys with beastly white chicks? I don’t get it.

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 22, 2012 @ 17:12:30

            HA! You wanna open that can of worms? Oh O, O, O I could write a novel on this issue (and I think i will cover half of it in this post alone). LOL

            You didn’t get the memo? Well O, Black men like White men do grade White women on a curve when it comes to looks. White women have been so pedestalized that even the beasts get a pass in the looks and mating game and can manage to get even the wealthiest of men of ANY RACE.

            If khloe were a Black woman who looked like she did (not very attractive with a wide flat butt and a scrunched up face and nose) she would never be married to a basketball player. Khloe has a very pretty and attractive Black friend she is often with who is cute and petite/shapley and feminine and I often wonder how Lamar could overlook her and go straight for Khloe.

            But for a Black man, anything with White skin is considered a PRIZE to behold so they would step over the prettiest of Black women to get an average or even beatsly looking WHite chick. Happens all the time. I personally think its funny and sad at the same time.

            A lot of Black men will date and marry average or ugly White chicks b/c a Black woman (even the prettiest) reminds him of his “status” in the world & society – being Black. Being Black in most societies is certainly not prized while Whiter peoples are, so the easiest way for a Black man to *TRY* to escape some of that is by being with a White woman. And it doesn’t matter how she looks, if she is a whore, skank, trash, as long as she is WHITE.

            To be fair though, I don’t really think BM are much different than WHite men or others when it comes to this. Even White men give the most plainest and average and sometimes UGLY of White women too much credit simply b/c they are WHite.

            The fact is White women have been touted as “the prize” and therefore any man of any race will settle for even the plainest and ugliest of White women just to feel more accepted by society.

            However, in any scenario a Black woman has to be damn near perfect to get any kind of credit for their looks. This is what irks me the most about this double standard. I wouldn’t care if the playing field was equal. but its not and that is why I will continue to speak out about how White women are often overrated and how I have NEVER bought into this idea that they were more womanly, feminine or superior to me as a Black woman, no matter what, while Black women have to be drop dead gorgeous for ANYONE to really ever give us credit for being pretty or “hot”.

            I give credit where its due. but you are right, rarely do you ever see a Black man with a really attractive WHite woman – most of them are average or just flat out trashy. Ironically when a WHite man dates a Black woman MOST of the time she is highly attractive or as equally attractive as he is. But better believe she will most likely have her ish together in one way. I will say Dennis Rodman hit the looks jackpot with one of my favorite White girls (looks wise — Carmen Electra) but most of the women are just average and sometimes just plain UGLY.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 22, 2012 @ 17:20:16

              I cannot wait for my HOMIE liza to weigh in on this.

              UH OH!

              Like

              Reply

              • Liza207
                Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:41:08

                Neecy, Most of the white women that are with black men especially the fat ones are what I call “white men rejects” these are white women that most white men won’t touch with 1000 ft pole. I know this to be true because I had a couple of white women friends who were fat and below average in looks who only dated black and Hispanic men. They would spend a lot of time putting down white men (They said really demeaning things about them that I will not repeat here but all I will say is that their attacks were often aimed at their sexual prowess). They were always praising the sexual prowess of the black and Hispanic men (and nothing else) they were dating even though those men treated them like crap. However, even though they were putting white men down to me constantly, as not being as good, I knew what the real issue was.

                One night, I was having with one of them and she confessed that she hated the way white men were always ogling and showing me more interest in me than they ever showed her. She added that she hated white men because they never paid her any attention and she knew it was because she was fat. It was easier for her to pull black and Hispanic men because she was white and that was all she needed to be to get them. However, she would prefer to date men in own race but the white men she could get were not the type she was interest in. However, she was able put really attractive and successful black and Hispanic because they saw her as a status symbol.

                I remember watching an episode of the Tyra Banks show some years ago where they were interviewing people who claimed they hated their own race. There was this really fat white chick just going off on white men about how egotistical they were and how awful and superficial they all were. Moreover, I was laughing so hard because it so damn obvious to everyone in the audience what this chick’s real issue with white men was—they just were not checking for her because she was physically repulsive. Therefore, she resented them all for it.

                Like

                Reply

                • Omerta327
                  Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:51:25

                  Hmm. That’s an eye-opener.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Liza207
                    Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:02:12

                    This cannot be new to you. You know that there are white women that most of you won’t give the time of day to because of how they look (especially the fatties). So, they have to find love somewhere else.

                    Come on, when you see those beastly white women with black men you have to know no white guy wants her and that is why she is mostly likely with him.

                    Like

                    Reply

                • Omerta327
                  Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:10:27

                  Yeah, that part I get, believe me. I just never understood the whole dynamic of why black men would want these women. Just because they’re white? They’re still walruses.

                  But just being white is good enough for them, Liza, I just shake my head. If that’s the kind of mentality BW are up against, then I feel bad for you. Insanity.

                  But then again, as I’ve said before, insanity is the new sanity.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:58:34

                    But just being white is good enough for them, Liza, I just shake my head. If that’s the kind of mentality BW are up against, then I feel bad for you. Insanity.

                    Sadly Omerta you are 100% correct in that for a lot of Black men the only cirteria for a White woman – be that she is WHITE. period.

                    You know your beloved hottie Lanisha Cole? HA! In the Black community women like her are treated and seen as the ugliest scum of womanhood! I am not even kidding. Women like her are called “pretty for a dark skinned Black girl”. They are treated so horribly and ignored so often by Black men for less than stellar looking light, mixed or non Black chicks. I seen it all my life. I have a gorgeous dark skinned friend whom were were besties in college. This girl was Lanisha Cole pretty and it would irk the living shit out of me how Black dudes would ignore her often times when we were out and only pay attention to lighter skinned and mixed and NOn Black women – in some cases these chicks were NBOT even pretty or attractive.

                    I knew deep down it had to make her feel bad and I would always have a scowl on my face so that they would not come over and talk to me (b/c often times they would ignore her or his friend would not want to talk to her b/c she was darker). So to avoid all of that I would have a mean look on my face to keep them away. Isn’t that fkn sad????

                    The good thing for her (and i was always jealous) is that Light skinned, mixed and White dudes LOOOVED her! All of her b/f’s were hot bi racial dudes and she also dated White guys (and Black men who didn’t even want her would suddenly try to give her a hard time for being with a White dude saying “Why all the fine sisters gotta be with White dudes”) YET, these same Black men wouldn’t pay her any attention until she was with a WHite guy.

                    It still goes on intensly in Black social settings and that is why i cannot for the life of me understand why Black women in general continue to patronize events and things that clearly place them in the undesirable eyes of Black men while they uplift Non Black women and mixed women. Well i know why they do it, but its still stupid to do it.

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • Liza207
                      Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:08:04

                      This has always been a pet peeve of mine. But what irritates me more is how many of these women won’t move on and go where they are appreciate them. It may not be fair for me to say because I am not in their shoes.

                      Like

                    • Omerta327
                      Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:11:31

                      Wow. Sad. Damn, people suck. lol…

                      Your friend sounds very intriguing, though. 😉

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:34:49

                      Liza yes this is what irks me the most about so many of them. They still stick around waiting and thinking Black men are going to suddenly change thier views.

                      A lot of them have bought into the “uly dark girl syndrome” without ever stepping out to see that there are actualy men of other races who are not hung up on skin shade. But hey if they wanna wallow in self pity and Black men’s mess then that’s on them.

                      Omerta,

                      yes she was a fun chika but we are not close anymore really. Just kinda drifted apart after college. She ended up having some OOW kid by some dumb ass and after that our friendhsip kinda tanked. *shrug*

                      Like

                • Neecy
                  Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:44:15

                  BA DA BING!

                  I knew you’d bring the pain! LOL

                  Thats it. many White women know they have a back up plan B.C, X, Y when it comes to Black and Hispanic men. Heck even some Asian men are ending up with beatly White women and are happier than pigs in shit. That is why even the fattest or average White woman still feels superior to a Black woman.

                  Like you I cannot tell you how many times (especially in college) I have gone out to social events with my really attractive Black female friends and we sit and watch Black men of all sorts of attractiveness (ugly to attractive) swarming around average, fat or both (rarely that attractive) White chicks like flies on shit! Meanwhile there all are sorts of Black female hotness in these places. Its like they see these White man rejects as the second coming of Christ. Its mind boggling!

                  Also, a lot of Black men (like men in the manosphere) do it b/c in some way they are “trying” to “get back” and send message to good looking Black women who didn’t want them when they were in kindergarden as if they are “snubbing” these Black women. The same way recovering betas ar ebitter and talk shit about older women thier ages bc these women snubbed them in thier early beta years. But its them who has to walk and wake up next to those beasts so they are only hurting themselves and making themselves look bad.

                  I don’t have a problem with IR’s at all and I think Black men and anyone else should be free to date and love whomever they want. But when they try to prance these below average White chicks around like a prize, i feel its my duty to let someone know why that is.

                  These women’s heads get so gassed up that they really start believing they are hotter and more superioir than Black women b/c all of the Black men that fawn over them in social settings. I also find that White women have been so gassed by Black men that they will be SHOCKED and borderline PISSED OFF if an attractive WHite man or BLACK man is trying to get with an attractive Black woman – as if!

                  Like

                  Reply

            • Omerta327
              Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:10:55

              LOL! Looks like I touched yet another nerve.

              Well, hey, if black guys want to get some stank on their hang-low with those pigs, let ’em. That just means more beautiful sistas for those of us who DO appreciate them. 😉

              Like

              Reply

              • Neecy
                Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:05:02

                YEP! 😉 And better believe when a sister is with a White dude these same Black men (who date interrracially themselves and who ignored Black women) suddenly have a PROBLEM with Black women being with a White dude.

                You should go on averge Black sites and see the obsession Black men have with trying to keep Black women from dating WHite men – Its INSANE!

                Like

                Reply

                • Omerta327
                  Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:02:02

                  What sites would those be? I gotta check this sh*t out.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Liza207
                    Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:10:29

                    Omerta, you’re not aware of this. I guess you have never swirled I am guessing. Many black men see black women as their possessions and we should only want them and them only. They especially hate to see us with white men.

                    When I am with a white guy, I can see their disapproval but I don’t care so…

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • Omerta327
                      Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:29:16

                      I’ve dated a couple of BW in the past and never encountered any real disapproval. Then again, I wasn’t looking to find it either, and I sure wouldn’t have given a rat’s ass if I did. Other peoples’ hangups aren’t my problem.

                      I was just curious as to the “obsession” with it, as Neece put it, and the sites she mentioned where this is a hot-button issue.

                      Like

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:38:18

                    Blackvoices was the only one that I used to frequent a couple years ago. Oh my God I used to get flamed so badly on there for talking about how more Black women should date interracially.

                    I distincly remember one thread where Black women were talking about attractive White men and how dating NOn Black guys should be considered and do you know Black men came in that thread posting pics of Black men being lynched as a way to deter Black women from liking WHite men and trying ot make us feel guilty for considering dating them! isn’t that sick? They would go so far as to post gruesome pics of lynchings to make a point. Unbelievable!

                    Like

                    Reply

          • MK
            Jan 23, 2012 @ 03:27:34

            I think it went a little something like this. Lamar was blasted/baked out of his mind at a party and heard a Kardashian was there. He was hoping it was Kim or the other one had another shot of Remy and went to engage. He spit mad unconscious game in a blacked out state and awoke up the next morning to find wifey. She claimed she was pregnant after their first encounter and since he couldn’t remember the evening he just went along with it. Plus he was hoping to be able to catch glances of Kim nekid on various summer vacations.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:08:22

              HAHHAHAHAAA!! It must suck being Khloe growing up and having to be in the shadows of not ONE, BUT TWO of your more attractive sisters. 😮

              i blame her skank of a momma for being a cheating hoe!

              Like

              Reply

  12. Zorro
    Jan 22, 2012 @ 22:18:54

    I look at the average number of comments on Neecy’s posts, and she beats the living shit out of Roissy, Roosh and most other bloggers of any stripe.

    Granted it’s comprised of 6 or 7 people who post 17-35 comments, but, still. This is a hoppin’ place! If you deleted all of Neecy and Liza’s comments, there’d be about 22 comments rather than 358, but still…I love this place.

    Like

    Reply

    • Marellus
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 06:21:59

      I don’t like the commenters on Roissy. The only ones worth reading are KingA, and Gorbachev. The rest are spewing rhotoric. It’s almost as if they’re automatons.

      I read HUS as well, and the only comments I deem worth reading is that of Munson and Susan herself.

      What is it then that makes a commenter a good commenter ? Methinks it’s someone that is a bit controversial, quite well-read, humorous, and is not afraid of a flame war.

      But then most commenters are a bit like that.

      I think your typical commenter is someone that has stopped watching TV a long time ago. Which means that if this trend continues, and increases, that there will be generation that’s more erudite and knowledgeable than its predecessors, but not necessarily richer.

      I like being a “Neeceling” because I like the personalities here. We all have our struggles and troubles, but in our own ways we’ve discovered that humor is the best coping mechanism, and it helps to have an open mind sometimes …

      Like

      Reply

      • Zorro
        Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:42:45

        Gotta give you that. KingA has had some whoppers. And, yes, most of that crowd are mouth-breathers.

        Like

        Reply

        • MK
          Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:16:15

          I think there is a lot of wisdom to be found in the commentors there. My favs are abdada and gbfm grew on me, at first I thought he was retarded but dude is mad witty in a hard to read sort of way.

          Like

          Reply

          • Omerta327
            Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:22:56

            I think you need to be tripping on mescaline to fully grasp gbfm’s posts.

            lollzzlollzzlolzzlolzz

            Like

            Reply

            • MK
              Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:38:11

              Your just saying that because you fail to comprehend what Bernakified fdex that rhymes with butthex is up to and the duplicity of Tucker Max in this whole conspiracy. He’s made it so you can’t even find a chick who hasn’t tried anal prior to meeting her lollolz

              Like

              Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:11:35

        I like being a “Neeceling” because I like the personalities here. We all have our struggles and troubles, but in our own ways we’ve discovered that humor is the best coping mechanism, and it helps to have an open mind sometimes …

        SO TRUE MARRELLUS!!

        I really enjoy interacting with your guys daily and I often feel weird if I haven’t had my daily dose of Neecy nesters! Like I said this blog has changed my life in a positive way and I feel so grateful to have you guys apart of it and making it so interactive.

        Like

        Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:09:19

      I love you guys so much! this blog has changed my life and gives me something to look forward to each and every day 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  13. Zorro
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 07:27:59

    I found this on another site, watched it, and COMPLETELY LOST MY SHIT!

    Like

    Reply

  14. Liza207
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:02:31

    As I said before, although, I wrote the comment in the post. This post is spot on and this is what I would have written if I weren’t so lazy to write it.

    Although, there was one thing dynamic I was looking for that I was hoping you would mention. The relationships where the guy is constantly going above and beyond the call of duty and white knighting to please his woman while she gives him very little in return. His generosity and complete devotion to her is hardly ever reciprocated. Nevertheless, he hangs in there doing all he can to make her happy in hopes that she will give him what he wants in return and feels this is not happening because he is not doing enough. Meanwhile, he is not getting that the woman he is with is a selfish bitch that he will never be able to please no matter what he does for he. Chump!

    Like

    Reply

    • MK
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 08:18:12

      Yes I know several guys like that although I think neecy’s comments about only reciprocating actions done for you as well would help cover the bases. I tried to explain it to friends that do this that its not what women want to be fawned over like that endlessly it makes the main look weak and a servant vs. a powerful man.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:10:33

        Yes, fawning is a tingle killer. That does not mean we don’t want to be complimented–just keep it sincere. We want to feel like we earned your devotion a little.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:20:19

          EXACTLY.

          Like

          Reply

        • Zorro
          Jan 23, 2012 @ 15:58:57

          I have never once in my entire life given a compliment to a woman that wasn’t utterly sincere. I don’t believe in it. I understand the whole neg thing. I understand what a compliment is. Lack of sincerity repulses me. If I tell a woman her shoes are wicked cool, I fucking mean it.

          Because people (men or women) can tell when flattery is bullshit. If a woman is wearing mediocre shoes and you say THEY’RE GREAT (channeling Tony the Tiger here), she will know.

          If you want to compliment a woman, Rule #1 is sincerity. If her hair really isn’t that awesome, don’t compliment her hair. She’ll know and you’re an asshole.

          That’s why I love Neecy’s mouth. Total kiss magnet. No need for Botox here. Natural MUAH trap, with all the usual decorations.

          Her shoes…not so much.

          Like

          Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:18:39

      You’re right Liza I didn’t directly deal with it but that was my purpose of talking about my situation with the maintenance guy. in some ways he represents men like this although he may not be in a relationship with a woman. men who go above and beyond for women in general (be them in a relationship or not) and are not getting anything in return. All the women he has done stuff for in the building haven’t even given him one red cent besides me (let alone a date – not that they owe him that) for all of his efforts.

      The same applies ot men in relationships who keep doing for these selfish skanks and get nothing in return. I get really irked by people who allow themselbves to be used. i just want to kick and shake the living hell out of them! LOL

      Also when they keep doing this for ungrateful women, more women feel its okay to act this way. if more men stopped rewarding these kinds of women, women will behave better.

      Like

      Reply

  15. Liza207
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:46:15

    Neecy, I am so glad you address the fact that most of the romantic comedies always feature the most average looking white chicks in Hollywood being romanced up by the most attractive actors. He has to be good-looking while she can be some butter-faced barely attractive white chick. This is because Hollywood is where white women go indulge in their fantasies–I have come to see that this is what H-wood is all about–a fantasy machine for white women. As I mentioned before, the moment many white women found out that Colin Farrell and Gerard Butler prefer black women they were all but shunned by white women. They have resorted to hiding their relationship with black women from the press to avoid any backlash.

    George Clooney dated a black chick for 4 years back in the day (Although, whenever they are listing his past girlfriends she is conveniently missing from those lists). She (Kimberly Russell) even commented on it once, before he became a Hollywood heavyweight, I bet he would not attempt that now. Matthew Mcconaughey somehow manages to get away with it but I believe it has harmed his career a bit and now he is marrying the mother of his children who I believe is black/Brazilian. I guess he feels has nothing to lose at this point.

    I have a white woman co-worker who just loves her some romantic comedies while my friend/coworker who is Cuban-American and I will constantly bash them in front of her and we can just see the annoyance on her face when we do.

    White women just love their Hollywood fantasies and they want to make sure that the men they fantasize about in Hollywood are with women who look like them or else they will have a shit-fit.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:31:30

      BINGO AGAIN LIZA!!

      And please don’t forget that Brad Pitt also dated a Black woman (Robin Givens) for a few years in his early Hollywood days. There is a reason you rarely hear about these pairings of hot popular White actrors and their past Black loves. And better believ this is why if a White man wants a successful career in Hollywood, he BET NOT be caught with a Black woman! White women do not even want to begin to think about their beloved White princes having been with some “lowly Black chick”. It takes away that fantasy of being hte only woman in the world that White men desire. Whenever they show past relationships of Brad Pitt they NEVER show he and Robin Givens – and yes there are pics of them together in many different social settings.

      I find as you said one of two things happens to White men in H-Wood who have an obvious tatse for Chocolate.

      (1) H-Wood starts making them really popular and often starts their own “campaign” of showing said actor hooking up with White starlets. They start putting htem in “romance movies” with White actresses. really upping the ante.

      (2) They get black balled or you rarely see them much in movies anymore.

      White men who really want a hopping career in H-Wood or the entertainment industry know their bread is buttered on the White woman side and they better not subject these White women to having seen him with too many attractive Black women or even ONE.

      I’ll never forget the big hoopla that occurred when a photo of Justin Beiber and some skinny cute Black girl were walking together. turns out the Black girl was his publicist but MAN OH MAN you should have seen the White woman propganda machine coming out to SQUELCH the idea he was dating this girl.

      REALY SAD.

      White women just love their Hollywood fantasies and they want to make sure that the men they fantasize about in Hollywood are with women who look like them or else they will have a shit-fit.

      I have come to see that this is what H-wood is all about–a fantasy machine for white women.

      And that is why i don’t support H-Wood and rarely watch television anymore.I simply cannot relate….

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 23, 2012 @ 10:49:24

        1) H-Wood starts making them really popular and often starts their own “campaign” of showing said actor hooking up with White starlets. They start putting htem in “romance movies” with White actresses. really upping the ante.
        —-
        I have seen this happen to G. Butler and C. Farrell the moment they were seen romancing up black women. I also believe Farrell has a biracial son that he keeps on the down low. B. Pitt also dated a black British Singer before Robin who was also involved with Simon Cowell (American Idol). S. Cowell who is english, said in his interview on Wendy Williams’ show that he loved black women and preferred them. I was like; that is really ballsy. But he is very wealthy and European and probably does not understand how racist and backward American culture is. I think the rating of his show X-Factor probably took a hit in the ratings after that.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:45:46

          YEP. Especially gerard. i believe he even openly stated he loved Women of color. After that all of a sudden he started doing all these dumb romantic comedies. he doesn’t even look right doing romantic comedies. But i am sure if he didn’t oblidge to them his career would be over.

          Like

          Reply

  16. Zorro
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 09:54:27

    Now here you make the sauce.

    You use stupid big cans of DICED tomatoes. (If you’re Italian, like Giada de Laurentiis and you have more teeth than a fucking crocodile, then you use REAL TOMATOES). You gotta boil them down for silly ridiculous hours, with oregano, basil, Italian spices and crushed garlic (REAL garlic, not that faggoty powdered shit). You put in some ITALIAN (yes, ITALIAN) wine, not french or Californian, because the amino acids of ITALIAN wine meld with the spices unlike other wines. Seriously, French wine in an ITALIAN tomato sauce with taste like SHIT. The amino acids are FUCKED UP. Use Valpolicella or some other ITALIAN wine. Never French or American. They SUCK.

    Cook the sauce down over hours and hours and hours. Then you put the undercooked meatballs into the sauce for about an hour and they’re cooked to perfection.

    OH. MY. GOD.

    IT’S LIKE I’M BACK IN NEW JERSEY HERE!

    Seriously, people. Learn how to do it. Epic meatballs.

    Mona. Lisa. Vito.

    Like

    Reply

  17. MK
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:21:06

    What does everyone think of the kid who got expelled for using twitter. Seems like a violation of first amendment to me..

    He just made public what many highschool guys are thinking/doing on the DL.
    Meanwhile righteous Newt can run for president as the moral values guy HAHAHA

    http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/high-school/yuri-wright-expelled-don-bosco-prep-school-loses-football-scholarship-michigan-racially-sexually-graphic-twitter-posts-article-1.1009556?localLinksEnabled=false

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:47:05

      MK it never stated wha it was that he said on twitter? What did he say that was so racially charged?

      Like

      Reply

      • MK
        Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:36:47

        That was overblown it was really more about sexx than race. Tweets found here something random about a jewish lady does not equal racism to me.

        http://www.chatsports.com/michigan-wolverines/a/Yuri-Wrights-tweets-are-why-Michigan-stopped-recruiting-him-10-2-1807

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 23, 2012 @ 17:57:41

          UGH! Sorry I don’t blame those coaches for passing. That dude is so damn ignorant its not even funny! WHo wants someone like that representing their shcool? All he seems ot be focused on anyway is sex. That could also pose a problem for them as well in terms of his focus.

          Also, as someone pointed out, based on the way he writes and talks, I highly believe they would have problems with him making and keeping his grades up so that he could even play.

          I think Mich made the right call on this one. Let some other school take that risk.

          Like

          Reply

        • Omerta327
          Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:08:37

          I think the reason Michigan passed on him is cuz those tweets show he’s dumb as a box of rocks.

          Maybe he can get recruited by Ohio State or U of Miami. They put up with WAAAY more crap from their players than this.

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:19:32

            I agree O. That school did not violate his first Amendment rights at all. They exercised their judgement to not invest in an ignoramous like him based on his character (that was shown in his tweets).

            Michigan may have more class than other schools and simply may not want to invest in someone like him. I applaud them for not simply looking at his playing skills and focusing more on his character. More schools need to do this and then maybe these guys would straighten up and actually take pride in some education.

            For God sakes his ass called an Orgasm and “organism”. LOL!

            Like

            Reply

  18. Liza207
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 11:45:54

    Omerta, I cannot think of any of those site. I guess, Neecy knows.

    Once, I group of black guys said to the guy (white) I was with, “your girl has a nice ass and nice tits”. This of course was an attempt to humiliate and lower me in front of the guy. Thus, showing their disapproval.

    I remember dining out this guy (also white) we were seated near an interracial couple (ww/bm) who gave us dirty looks the entire time we were dining.

    I could go on and add the white guy and his black guy friend who could not hide his disapproval with him being with me, but that is all I am going say on this one.

    Omerta, there must be something about you that intimidates.

    Like

    Reply

  19. Liza207
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:02:48

    Here is one that is really popular: blackmenvent.com

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 12:50:16

      hmmm i never heard of that one. Blackvoices.com was the main one i used to frequent until I just couldn’t take the ignorance and stupidity and racist shit anymore.

      Like

      Reply

  20. Sophia
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 19:18:32

    The dynamic in Canada is a little different. Black people here are from different parts of the Caribbean and countries in Africa. The solidarity, or “in-group” sense, that African-Americans have due to their shared culture and history is lacking. Hence, often black men won’t say anything to me when they see me with a non-black man because they’re not sure if I belong to their group or not. Occasionally, we will get looks from people and this is how I interpet them; if from women, it’s usually cause my guy is hot or we’re a striking couple. If from men, it’s cause I’m hot and they think we’re a striking couple 🙂 Life is very pleasant when you have rose-coloured lenses.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 19:26:34

      Great point Sophia. I have found that a lot of times when people are staring at you its not always a negative reaction they are having. i do believe attractive couples of any sort will cause people to look – especially an interracial one and especially an uncommon interracial pairing (like Black woman and White guy etc).

      I’ll assume you are either Carribean or African? I find these groups of Blacks as you said to be less interested in what their half genders are doing in terms of dating. There also seem to be less of a stigmatizim dating Whites with Non American Blacks vs. with African Americans who still hold onto very paranoid and crazy views about interracial dating (especially with Black women and White men).

      And then too, Canada is typically very mild when it comes to crazy issues about race. Not saying there is no racism, but i find Canadians are as hung up on it as more Americans are. Granted there was a nasty history here in the US between Blacks and Whites, but its time to move on already – especially Black women who keep holding onto those old silly ideas about White men etc.

      Like

      Reply

  21. Sophia
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 19:43:15

    I am African. Horn of Africa, to be a little more, but not too, specific.

    Yeah, Canada is not entirely free of racial issues but these issues lack the intensity of our southern neighbour;s.
    Here, even the rarest of all interracial couples, Asian males and black females, occur. I know of several personally. I’ve also gone out with a couple of Asian men as well. Maybe a couple of interested glances but I don’t recall open hostility or maybe I just wasn’t paying attention.
    The only times I recall sustained attention being paid to me and my dates was when I was dating two exceptionally striking men. One had a very strong alpha look about him, very tall, very blonde and posh, great body language, CEO type. We were in his very upper crust neighbourhood. White women were staring long and hard at us and it was so obvious that both of us noticed it.
    The second incident was when I was with a Greek God, very good looking and arresting. During the early stages of our relationship, we went to a lounge and there was one woman, with a strong Meditteranean look about her, who was trying hard to grab his attention, by shifting her chairs, looking back at him, smiling and eyeing him hard. I was merely amused at her antics and even pointed her out to my ex, but he was too busy kissing my neck and shoulders to pay attention to her. Initially I thought it was cause she might have been Greek herself but I noticed several other instances of similar behaviour from other women, of all hues, during the duration of our relationship so it was more female competition than anything racial.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 20:18:23

      OK Uhm Sophia I need to hang out with YOU! Swooping up Greek & Nordic Gods!! LOL

      Sophia I find African women to be the most acceptable of interracial unions with White males and also find they typically clean up in the dating arena here in America where so many African American women are still stuck on old silly racial ideals. IOW’s the African sisters are picking up the White men that AA women are overlooking. GOOD FOR YOU!

      Yes I think women generally are always going to feel competition when they see another woman with an attractive man of any race. But i do believe that competition and possible insecurity increases when a man of another race is with another woman of another race – especially if he is highly attractive and well to do.

      But even Black women can be competitive or catty when they see another Black woman with an attractive White guy.

      Like

      Reply

      • Sophia
        Jan 23, 2012 @ 20:57:26

        You’d kill ’em dead, Neecy. I mean it. Come on up for a short trip and see for yourself.
        Best if you put a profile of youself online first though.

        When I was working in the financial district I dated finance and consultant types. But the creme de la creme came to me via online dating. Both the Greek God and the posh blond contacted me via a well known dating site.

        The quality of men online in T.O. is quite high, I must say, and I think it might be because of the fragmented social life in this city plus the fact that it’s the financial and business center of the country.
        Probably just easier for a lot of these men to go online. And they don’t discriminate. I do the traditional thing of putting my profile online and have the men contact me. I’ve never contacted anyone. My friends, including a Nigerian girl, has similar stories using the same m.o.

        A couple of other notables include a real estate developer profiled in national and international publications, a partner at a law firm who has a high profile public life, a published author, and a man highly involved in US professional athletic leagues. Btw, I’m still seeing the last one – he is so different from the others there is something that just draws me to him – let’s see how it goes.

        Of course, I also had regular guys approach me and dated them too but what struck me was the high quality men whom I never thought would go online.

        For you Neecy, we can do a two-track approach. Come on up here for a week or two. Before landing here though put up a profile online and preselect the men you’ll see. While you’re here, we’ll still go out to nice venues and events cause these work as well. Before you know it, you’ll land yourself a nice, quality Canadian man 🙂 (or French, Dutch, Nigerian, they’re all here in TO and they’re all online).

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 23, 2012 @ 21:12:11

          OMG Sophia I would so move to Canada for Love! – (yes and even take on its deadly winters!) I would move anywhere for love for the right guy. I’m glad ot hear about all of the potential many Black women are finding there. I dunno. In California the guys are not really my type. I like very charming masculine type men and many of the guys here are meterosexual which I am not attracted to. i like a man’s man and don’t seem to find many of those types here in Southern California.

          Funny thing is online dating in my area did not produce the kinds of men that I could see myself with long term – so I stopped online dating. the last guy i met was pretty cool and and nice guy but he was not on the same page/level as I was. Many of the guys were much younger and not really settled. To be fair I did only use one site and didn’t really expand to others like I should have.

          i’d love to take a trip up to Canada – hear its beeeeautiful. Funny back in 1999 I was really considering a move there to Canada b/c of the booming film industry – my mother talked me out of it b/c she said i would not be able to take the cold and that I was already living in the film capital of the world (Los Angeles). Sometimes I do wonder what would have happened had i made that move. Hmmmm

          Like

          Reply

          • Sophia
            Jan 23, 2012 @ 21:27:01

            The winters aren’t so bad in T.O, unlike Ottawa, Montreal, Winnipeg (“Winterpeg”), Edmonton, umm….yeah ok, the winters are bad 🙂

            Fly out to Canada for love, eh? I like your sense of adventure!
            Try a pilot test by putting an online profile located to Toronto. You’ll make some suitable connections and then either fly out or have the dude fly to CA so you could meet one another. It can’t hurt, no?

            Do put some thought into your profile though. One friend of mine placed a boring profile extolling her education and virtues and got only a handful of responses. Her photos sucked as well. I begged her to let me edit it but she refused cause she wanted her “real” self to be presented. Oy vey. No dates.

            I also recommend going to meetup groups, especially outdoorsy ones. I’ve always been into hiking and have started up rock-climbing and those have a high ratio of suitable men. Failing that, grab a girlfriend and grab drinks at the bar of a high end luxury hotel. You’ll meet national and international business men this way.

            What say you?

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:29:19

              That’s a great idea Sophia. For me to start expanding my horizons on where I look. Toronto sounds like a great place to start.

              I have to admit, when I have done online, my profile was crap. In fact, I barely even filled it out. I just filled out the required portions and that was it. LOL I guess you can say i didn’t really put much of an effort, and you are right, ones profile has to be intriguing.

              The winters are something i can overcome if its with the right dood. 😉

              Like

              Reply

  22. chic noir
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 20:19:32

    *chic noir steps into Chateau Neecy*
    *hands Neecy a beautiful flower arrangement*

    Why I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Chic Noir aka Madame Default User aka the worker Mrs. Whiskey.
    It’s very nice to make your acquaintance Neecy. I was once a prolific commenter on the Roissysphere. Now I hang out on more positive ends of the web.

    *chic noir looks around*
    Well I like what you’ve done here. You’ve really spruced the place up.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 20:30:54

      HEY CHIC! (beautiful pic BTW is that you?)

      How do ya do and thank you for the beautiful flower arrangement. I should be handing out the hospitable welcoming flowers but you are all too gracious! :mrgreen:

      Sooo you have frequented the roissyphere before eh? haha. I’m wondering what it is that has drawn so many Black women to that site? I posted there early summer for a few months until all hell broke loose one day and I had a compleeeete meltdown and went off on some of the ignoramouses on there. LOL Stopped posting for a couple months and every now and then I’ll pop over and make a post or two.

      I do have to say though, as much negativity as that blog has, it did and it WAS the one thing that gave me a push into finally starting my own blog bouncing off some of the ideas I learned over there. I had created a wordpress blog in Februrary and never did anything with it until after being on Heartiste’s site (in June). So my fears of blogging were doused and i guess you can say I have a love/hate with heartiste and that site. LOL

      I also used to frequent the BWE sites and yes they were positive but after a few interactions with some women on one blog, I decided to leave – thus stumbling onto heartiste’s. Yes it was an interesting 4 months when I was on that site for sure. i took my share of flaming and verbal insults but I hung in long enough to extrapolate some pretty cool dudes from there who now post on my blog 😀

      Hope ya stick around! We definitley try to stay positive round these parts. But sometimes we have a little “too” much fun. 😉

      Like

      Reply

    • n/a
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 23:42:47

      Ah, the elusive, literary, extremely disappointing chic noir twirls into the room and tips her cigarette in Neecy’s direction.

      You don’t know me, but I know you. I well remember your charming rollcalls of the dramatis personae at the venerable Roissy in DC and I thought it was very lamentable when you stalked off. Thought maybe you and gunny eloped. 😉

      And there you are, vulgarly bursting into a thread at the Chateau, unannounced, informing Neecy — of all people — that a *sista* has “nothing to learn” from the supposedly dismal Heartiste crew…

      You should know that the Chateau has a special love for chocolate. I expect to see you posting more responsibly in future.–

      Firepower, can you take over from here?

      mout

      Like

      Reply

  23. Sophia
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 21:07:12

    Good question Neecy.
    I checked out the CH site via one of your older posts, as I mentioned before. I browsed some of the articles, especially the older ones, but frankly, the vibe was a little too cruel for me although some of the insights into the male psyche was fascinating.
    However, it seemed like masochism to stay and read the posts if you’re a woman, although I admit to finding CH’s writing style somewhat witty and incisive.

    ChicNoir, I recall you commented there cause your icon is quite unforgettable. How did you stand it there, especially when the blogmaster would flay commenters with vulgar language whenever he disagreed with their viewpoint?
    Maybe it is my sensitivity, but he seemed extra harsh with the female commenters. There was another black female poster as well, with some rather odd views and a writing style that occasionally grated. She lived in Israel, I think. She got it from him too.

    What is the attraction of a site like this for black women? Btw, hello ChicNoir. I’m new here myself. Do you post on Jezebel btw?

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 23, 2012 @ 21:42:06

      Sophia,

      You are right, the commenters there can be very cruel and woman-hating. I’ve learned to ignore them or they have learned to ignore me b/c they don’t flame me like they did in the past.

      The one thing I must say is heartiste has always been cool towards me. I kinda was a pest when I first started posting there and did create a bit of ruckus and disruption to the site. There was actually a time when someone said something racial to me and he deleted their posts. Even when people complained to him about having me booted he still stuck up for me or he allowed me to say what I wanted without moderating me. He never banned me or went off on me. And like you mentioned about his writing style, that was INITAILLY what kept me going back. he is a great writer and very witty and sometimes funny (although I don’t agree with MOST of his topics and ideas).

      I’ve been able to read between his lines and really what i see is a site of men fed up with how feminism has gone way overboard and how its affected the relationships between men and women. I also see a lot of White men who have been told to do one thing when it comes to winning women’s affections, only to be found that the very women of their race are not rewarding them for doing exactly what they have been asking them to do. So there is A LOT of frustration with many of the men. The same can be said about women sites who are constantly bitching and harping on how horrible men are. I also found the site interesting b/c I wasn’t aware of the schism between White woman and White men happening. Definitely an eye opener for sure.

      The problem is these men have yet to figure out a healthy way to deal with their hurt, bitterness and anger. And they also won’t acknowledge the role they have played in their own demise in the relationship arena b/c I can wager many of them are going after women who have a lot of issues.

      BUT I have mostly stuck around b/c I do feel some of the points he makes are accurate about women. I am also very fed up with how many women act today and how it has caused men to react in ways that have only diminished the respect they have for us. Women need to get their act together and that is the part of the blog that I do agree with, although I don’t necessarily agree with his approach. I also do believe that some of the things and advice he gives the men on how to stop supplicating to women will help them.

      Also, any woman that reads or posts there has to understand that it is their space to vent and bitch about women and I actually think they do have some legitimate gripes, although their mindset on how to deal with things is very immature and is misogynist in many cases. But i do read through the lines and believe there are some good men on that site who really are looking for ways to improve their relationships and potential with women. They are often drowned out by (as Zorro put it) the woman hating “mouth breathers” (lol) on there. I have got to a point where i no longer take most of what any of those guys and even sometimes what heartiste says to heart. They are a niche of men in the world and not all men think the way they do (thank God).

      Like

      Reply

      • n/a
        Jan 23, 2012 @ 23:28:19

        Neecy, baby,

        Even as all these *fancy black ladies* come waltzing in and tossing garlands and issuing suspicious transnational sex-tour invitations, I want you to remember your *white boys* and what you have *learned from them* at the all-too-readily disparaged Roissy’s place.

        And if they don’t flame you like they used to, well, maybe it’s because they realize you have powerful friends.– 😉

        BTW. Since you never got that lightbox, even after Doc N/A strenuously advised it, and since I am very, very disappointed in you, I will be tormenting you with certain notions and visions for the remainder of the week.

        I think you know what I mean. 😉

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:31:48

          *fancy black ladies* come waltzing in and tossing garlands and issuing suspicious transnational sex-tour invitations,

          😯 😆 OH DEAR GAWD please tell me you are not accusing our newest dear guest of being a sex tourist N/A!? LOL That’s not nice. She is just tyring to help me find the love of my life by suggessting I take a look in other areas of the world – which i totally agree with. 😉

          Like

          Reply

          • n/a
            Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:22:44

            It’s cute how literal-minded you can be.

            Now, back to anal.

            Like

            Reply

          • Sophia
            Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:36:03

            Oh dear me….

            Like

            Reply

            • n/a
              Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:41:12

              Sophia,

              Are you offering yourself in Neecy’s absence?

              😉

              Like

              Reply

              • Sophia
                Jan 24, 2012 @ 14:04:35

                Your offer is scintillating but no one can replace Neecy so the “place” is still reserved for her 🙂

                Like

                Reply

              • Neecy
                Jan 24, 2012 @ 21:24:47

                Damn i leave for a few hours and you are already trying to replace me. 😆 you can *NOT* be trusted you devil! 😈

                Like

                Reply

                • Sophia
                  Jan 24, 2012 @ 21:52:36

                  Is he normally this rascally?
                  In other news, it’s almost 1 am here and I simply cannot sleep. I’m making some cinnamon, mint and lemon tea, hoping it knocks me out while reading a science blog. Should be a deadly combination.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:07:03

                    Uh yes, That would be an affirmative. N/A stands for naughty/ass! 😈

                    BTW Sophia, I am learning a lot of new words thanks to your extensive vocabualry.
                    I have no shame admitting I had to look up the following:

                    — Incisive

                    — scintillating

                    — lexicon

                    I await more!! 😀

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • Sophia
                      Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:25:28

                      You made me laugh hard with that comment 🙂 Thanks! Your reaction is far superior to my friend’s sister who asked me to not use such big words, please.

                      I hope the vocabulary makes up for the appalling grammar mistakes I’ve been making all over the place.

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:32:31

                      You gotta be kidding me? If you haven’t noticed by now, I am probably the only blogger on planet earth that has more spelling, grammatical errors than correct speling and grammar. LOL. The thing I love about the nesters here is they have just accepted me in all my horrible spelling and grammar glory!

                      We have Zorro on hand to help out in more severe cases *waving hi Z!* he has a really high IQ.

                      So don’t sweat it! If the blogger herself can’t get it right, then the participants get a pass. 😉

                      Like

                  • Neecy
                    Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:12:42

                    BTW I’m gonna try that tea mix you just mentioned. But my prob is not fallign asleep is staying asleep through the night. Does it help with that?

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • Sophia
                      Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:27:07

                      Once I sleep, it takes a bomb to wake me up. So yes, the tea should help with making you sleep throughout the night, unless you have other underlying problems preventing that from happening like tension or anxiety?

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:33:17

                      Yes possibly tension and anxiety. I’m working on it though.

                      Like

                • n/a
                  Jan 25, 2012 @ 00:07:09

                  And here I am trying to catch you alone on this blog in the late night.

                  I’m on Hawaii time.–

                  If I caught you, you’d have to delete everything as soon as we were finished. 😉

                  Like

                  Reply

    • chic noir
      Jan 26, 2012 @ 19:20:30

      Hello Sophia, yes I’m the same Chic Noir on Gawker and Jezebel. Who do you post as on Jez ?

      You’re right he was esp harsh on women who didn’t agree with him. I just stopped posting and even viewing the blog because I just figured it was too negative. All of the male commenter seemed so negative on women and even themselves. By nature I’m something of a happy person I guess and I didn’t want to get caught up in the depression spiral.

      I really hated the way lil grl was treated and I think that was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.

      Like

      Reply

      • Sophia
        Jan 26, 2012 @ 19:27:41

        Hi Chic Noir! I really enjoyed your back and forth with DailyLattes on the whole black women in a crooked room post. You both represent well and I fully agree with the content of your posts. As for posting, I am a lurker on Gawker media. Never posted a thing. I only recently started to come out of lurkdom on a few sites, and Neecy’s is one of them.

        Like

        Reply

  24. Liza207
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 21:43:14

    Neecy, Sophia’s advice to explore dating in Canada sounds very appealing to me. We have talked about going overseas (Europe) to meet men. Neecy, where you live now is absolutely the worst location for meeting dateable men, I have been having the same issue here in NYC, as you know.

    The dating landscape in America is way too faught with dysfunction and male and female dynamic has gotten way out of whack. I think looking outside of America would be the best way to go, as far as, I am concerned. And, Canada sounds like a good starting point.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:32:49

      Liza I think its a great idea too! We should definitley take a trip up to Canuckville and check out the manscape 😉

      Like

      Reply

      • Sophia
        Jan 24, 2012 @ 21:53:30

        Do it! Do it!

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:08:07

          HA! Liza nad I have to plan our game plan out in March when I visit. When are the better months to visit Canada when the weather is a bit nicer? Whats it like in the summer?

          Like

          Reply

          • Sophia
            Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:22:53

            Most definitely you’ll need to visit during the summer. Anytime from late May to late August is good. Lots of festivals and outdoorsy events to attend. Are u thinking of Toronto specifically? That is a good destination for your first trip.
            Personally, I have a soft spot in my heart for Montreal. Wonderful vibe, charming people and lovely neighbourhoods.
            Your fashion game needs to be stellar though, if you go there. I’ve either visited or lived in major Western cities and I’d put the women of Montreal up against any of them when it comes to fashion and looks, even up against NYC women. The men are v charming and more social than anywhere else in Canada. There is some chauvinism with regards to the French language (not a lot, actually, at least as compared to other Quebecois cities) but that can be circumvented by patronizing certain areas of the city.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:38:42

              Alright Alright! I’ll leave my california Valley girl wardrobe in Southern California. I know those French women don’t play when it comes to fashion and style!

              Liza might do well b/c she is from NYC and the women there tend to dress quite well and fashionable.

              I PROMISE no shorts, fitted tank/tee and boots m’kay? :mrgreen:

              Like

              Reply

    • n/a
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 14:00:37

      Liza,

      There is only one problem with this globe trotting — the type of foreign men you will meet — urban seducers — will see you as *tourist pussy.*

      And they will treat you accordingly.

      There is nothing easier than to bed a traveling woman. Nothing.

      Like

      Reply

      • Neecy
        Jan 24, 2012 @ 21:21:22

        Who said we were globe trotting and who said it wsa all about looking for sex? If you meet someone online and hit it off and you visit them and things progress to a relaitonship then you move there.

        We did say if we met someone we would be willing to move to their location. Its like long distance dating. Its very common for people to do this if they are interested in a specific geograhic of people (i.e. forgeing etc) and the best way to meet those people is by going to their homeland.

        A lot of African American women are finding HUSBANDS in Nordic countries and they are not doing sex tourism. They are just looking for a particular group of men that are open to them and who are diverse and willing to start families.

        Like

        Reply

        • n/a
          Jan 25, 2012 @ 00:14:14

          Neecy you red-lipped misunderstanding devil,

          I’m not talking about *your* intentions, I’m talking about *their* intentions. These are very different things.–

          While you’re looking for sweet nordic love, they’re looking to dip it in chocolate.

          But you girls have a good time. 😉

          Meeting men like me.

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 25, 2012 @ 08:41:22

            Oh ok. Well it doesn’t matter what *their* intentions are, if i don’t have sex with them – right?

            But how do you explain the numbers of Black women who have moved to other countries after finding a husband? If these guys were just using them for sex they wouldn’t marry them and have children with them or give them citizenship in their own countries.

            Like

            Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 25, 2012 @ 09:16:50

        n/a,

        Wow. You feel really strongly about this dont you? What Neecy says is true, a lot of black women have gone overseas and have had great success in finding love and marriage. They aren’t there to just get laid. LOL! They just want to go where they feel more accepted and more desired because American white men aren’t exactly breaking down the doors to make us feel that way. A lot of them deseparately want to escape the racial baggage and hang ups that seem to plague the interactions between wm/bw here in America.

        Non- American white men don’t seem to have a problem showing/expressing their interest in us and many of them don’t have the same ridiculous racial hang ups when it comes to associating with black women. It can be really frustrating for us here at times.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 25, 2012 @ 09:54:54

          Liza you nailed it right on the head. American Black women are not journeying across the oceans for sex with foreign White men. Many attractive Black women can get that right here on American shores.

          As you pointed out men of other countries outside of America, tend not to have the same racial hang ups regarding dating Black owmen that so many American men (of all races) do.

          Its what anyone would do. people go where they are appreciated or where they have much better opportunities finding someone who will see them as a PERSON and not simply her race.

          The fact is Nordic men from Nordic countries like Sweden, Netherlands, Finland etc., have shown a proven interest in appreciating, dating, MARRYING and pro creating with Black American women. Many of these men give their wives citizenship in thier countries as well.

          The fact is most foreign WM are simply more diverese and willing to have committed relationships with Black women – unlike American WHite men.

          American White men are still very much stuck on buying into the “white female ideal” and that is why they are doing any and everything possible to obtain even the trashiest and low caliber of White women.

          More attractive Black owmen in American would be smart to cross the seas to look for love. While I am out of marrying ages for the most part (although I know its still quite possible to find a man that would marry) any Black woman in her child bearing and prime marrying ages would be a fool to not take advantage of the many opportunities to marry and have kids with foreign (Nordic especially) White males who would be more than happy to have them and make them wives and mothers.

          Like

          Reply

          • Liza207
            Jan 25, 2012 @ 10:19:53

            As you pointed out men of other countries outside of America, tend not to have the same racial hang ups regarding dating Black owmen that so many American men (of all races) do.

            Yeah, I wanted to include this too. Men of all races here have serious racial hang ups regarding dating black women and that includes black men who have bought the MOST into the whole “white women are the epitome of beauty and sexuality” myth.

            In all fairness to white men, white women are their racial female counterparts, so naturally they will prefer them more than women of other races–it is only natural.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 25, 2012 @ 10:29:43

              I understand that WM preferring White women is natural. What i was saying was that even with the big schism right now between White women and White men and how feminism has ruined relations between the two and how many WHite men are treated by them, they still would rather complain about all the htings White women do, YET change themselves to fit the crazy ideals of White women instead of possibly expanding their horizons to other more traditional races of women.

              The same can be said for American Black women who continue to put up with the craziness of Black men simply b/c they are BLACK.

              of course people of the same race will prefer for the most part, that doesn’t mean it makes sense for them to keep sticking or exclusivley sticking with their own kind if their better halves are acting a damn fool.

              But i undrestand what you are saying in the sense that its NATURAL and fine for a White man to prefer the features of his own women b/c they come from him, while its completely unnatural for Black men to downgrade women who look like them to uplift another race of women.

              Like

              Reply

              • Liza207
                Jan 25, 2012 @ 10:47:05

                LOL! Acting the fool. Okay, yes, white men really need to move on. But what most of the ones that have been burned do is instead of moving on, they had decided that all women are the same “crazy bitches. Therefore, they have to learn some kind of method (game) in order to deal/cope with those crazy bitches because that is the way ALL women are–one size fits all mentality. They just don’t want to believe for some reason that there are other kinds of women out there who are not faught with issues which is not quite clear to me– maybe it is to you.

                What do you think about them claiming that only emotionally healthy/smart women fall for game? Isn’t that just complete utter rubbish. LOL! I must be a f**king idiot lunatic.

                Like

                Reply

                • Neecy
                  Jan 25, 2012 @ 11:34:58

                  Yep it seems to be a one size fits all mentality that many women and men today have in the SMP regarding the opposite sex. i won’t play that game. if you cannot see me as an individual worthy of being given a chance to show I am not like everyone else then its not worth it. I would give the same courtesy to a man as well.

                  That is why i feel sometimes its best for more healthy sane people to try new things and new people b/c what happens is they are left dealing with the same ole crazies and baggage carriers in their own territory (be it geographical, racial, cultural, etc).

                  Some people feel differently, but i am all about trying new things and new people.

                  Like

                  Reply

          • n/a
            Jan 25, 2012 @ 12:57:52

            Well, Neecy, since you claim to be “out of the marrying ages,” what ages are you still in?

            Are you still, perhaps, in the blowjob ages?

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 25, 2012 @ 20:47:34

              Why yes, but *ONLY* for the right guy of course. No Neecy lips around just any man’s thingamajigger! 😮 😉

              Like

              Reply

              • Sophia
                Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:11:35

                Maybe this is a personal question, but if you find yourself naked with a man wouldn’t it be a free for all, anything goes type of celebration? I mean, it would take a lot to get me to the point where I AM naked with someone but once there, with very few exceptions, I think I would partake of all that is erotically offered.

                Like

                Reply

                • Neecy
                  Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:19:42

                  That’s a great question Sophia. but I have to say no. There are different levels of certain things I would do with guys. *IF* I ever partoook in a casual sexual encounter with a guy (I’m reaching my boiling point and gonna break down shortly and do it if I don;t get me a man soooon! lol) I didn’t know on a regular basis and that i am not dating, I would never give him oral sex and I would not have anal sex with him either. that’s just personally very intimate & special acts to me and I would only do that with a guy i am more familiar with (i.e. dating or seeing on a regular basis) than just a random guy who i don’t know or se eon a reg basis that I may sleep with.

                  This is also another reason why I avoid casual sexual encounters for the most part b/c i don’t believe I would be able to fully open up with a stranger than i would be able to with a man I know and like or love. Its just not as enjoyable to me to have sex with an unfamiliar man.

                  Now if its a guy I LOVE and I’m in a LTR with or married to? Pssh! – all hell breaks lose in the bedroom! (lol), ANYTHING goes! I’m swinging from the chandeliers, doing car blow jobs on long trips to vegas, and anywhere I can get away with it (hehehehheheeee!! i can’t wait!!) and everything else. i’m excited thinking about all the fun things I can and will do with my boo when i get one. But I just can’t open up with a stranger and be as sexually erotic with him.

                  Like

                  Reply

                  • Sophia
                    Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:30:45

                    I think you and I are on the same page Neecy. I don’t do one night stands or casual sex so if I am naked with a man it is someone I’m serious about and as such, with one or two exceptions, it’s no holds barred.

                    Like

                    Reply

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:33:51

                      That’s right there are still *EXCEPTIONS* no matter how much I love him. like I aint doing no ATM (please for the love of God Sophia and for your own sake don’t ask what ATM is – you don’t wanna know) 😮 LOL!!! just know it aint the Kinda ATM that shoots out $$$!

                      Like

                    • Sophia
                      Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:38:00

                      ATM? Automated Teller Machine?! I’m simultaneously afraid, and deeply desire, to google it.

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:56:02

                      *sigh* you’re gonna make me go there aren;t you girl?

                      ALRIGHT THEN you asssed for it!!

                      Gimme an “A”! – A! (for Ass)

                      Gimme a T! – T! (for to)

                      GIMME an M! – M! (for mouth)

                      Yes, I know. But there are some peole that do it and there isn’t enough looove in the world to me for me to do that.

                      Like

                    • Sophia
                      Jan 25, 2012 @ 22:10:05

                      Thank you for the clarification. I heard of this act but I honestly don’t think this happens much outside of porn. Please don’t disillusion me.

                      Like

                    • Neecy
                      Jan 25, 2012 @ 22:14:52

                      you’re right it mostly happens in porn – at least that is where I first saw and heard of it. Totally disgusting. but i actually knew a guy i worked with a few years ago who told me his ex g/f would beg for him to do that with her. EEKS!

                      Like

        • n/a
          Jan 25, 2012 @ 12:51:18

          Liza,

          You and Neecy are (rare) women of *the highest quality* — reading here has proven that beyond a doubt for me — and I’m simply warning you about men who are very familiar with what it takes to charm a traveler. Although I must say that you, Liza, don’t seem to me someone who can be easily seduced. I wonder about your girl Neecy — but she’s probably a lot tougher to crack than I think she is.–

          It would be interesting to see some numbers on these American BW/WM foreign marriages — I’m sure it’s happened and that there’s been some success — but there are *serious* challenges to marrying outside of one’s culture. Forget race for a second.

          I spend a lot of time in Japan. And while I would *never* marry a Japanese woman — I’m too busy fucking ’em — I have seen many American guys make exactly that mistake. And that is what it is in almost every case: a mistake.

          The American culture is unique. And US Nationals of any race rarely understand just how profoundly they’ve been informed by American expectations and norms. It can be extremely difficult to translate an American self to a foreign partner.

          Such marriages often start very well; good intentions will get people over the initial problems. But then they often founder.

          BTW, Liza. A pedantic correction: the word is *fraught* not faught. As in: Neecy’s Nest is fraught with delicious sexual tension,.as the white men attempt to run long-game on these smart, black beauties. Which seem to be more numerous every day.

          That’s the first and last thing I ever write about “marriage.” I’m wiping the sweat from the brow just thinking about it. Sheesh I must like you girls.–

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 25, 2012 @ 20:46:16

            I wonder about your girl Neecy — but she’s probably a lot tougher to crack than I think she is.–

            HA don’t let the horniness fool ya! 😉

            While I do agree with some of what you say that sometimes its difficult when mixing cultures , i don’t think its so bad with Black women and White men of any culture b/c typically most of the White men that Black women date are Westerners or have quite a bit of Western values of some sort – even if they are foreigners.

            I don’t see huge cultural gaps with many White men of any ethnicity – except maybe Italian, jewish, Greek,. But more of the Nordic and WASPY White men are usually more Westernized no matte rwhat country they come from – or at least they are very familiar with Western culture to some degree.

            However, i do see isuees with Black owmen and middle easterners, Asians, Indians and even sometimes Latins b/c they have very strong exclusive sub cultures outside of Western cultures. i don’t know if I could date or be in a LTR with a guy of any of those other ethnicities unless he was quite westernized to some degree.

            The sex thing i don’t see the issue. if a woman has a standard to find a husband or a LTR she most likely will be very hard to crack when it comes to sleeping with her. Of course women who travel lookign for hot studs will be easily bedded b/c they ar eopen to it.

            Like

            Reply

            • Sophia
              Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:08:53

              I know a lot of African American women love European men, but frankly I think they are a tad overrated.
              Maybe it was the ones I hung around but never did a group of people bitch and moan so much about:
              North America,
              capitalism,
              consumerism,
              how things are so much better in Europe (so go live there!),
              fat people,
              terrible food
              work hours,
              women,
              driving,
              etc….

              Yes, their complaints were relevant and had a basis in reality but it was unceasingly incessant.
              I actually asked one guy if it’s so bad for him here why not go back to Holland. He replied that he hated the bureaucracy there.
              I found a significant number of European men all too willing to cede decision-making to the woman, especially Dutch men, lacked adaptability to new environments and new challenges, freaked out over challenges to their world-view, had really condescending and patronizing attitudes and honest to God felt they were far more knowledgeable about everything than you.

              Like Neecy said, my preference is North American men and immigrants (1st or 2nd generation) who are Westernized like me.

              Like

              Reply

          • Liza207
            Jan 26, 2012 @ 07:52:27

            n/a,

            You and Neecy are (rare) women of *the highest quality* — reading here has proven that beyond a doubt for me
            —-
            Thank you.

            Although I must say that you, Liza, don’t seem to me someone who can be easily seduced
            —-
            You got that right.

            It would be interesting to see some numbers on these American BW/WM foreign marriages — I’m sure it’s happened and that there’s been some success — but there are *serious* challenges to marrying outside of one’s culture. Forget race for a second.
            —–
            Marriage is a challenge, period, in or out of ones culture. But I get your point.

            Like

            Reply

  25. Sophia
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 22:51:57

    Is it really that bad in the US? I’ve always had a weakness for American men. They guy I’m seeing right now spends a lot of time in the US (and has for years) to the point he’s practically American himself. I still love Canucks but Americans have a special place in my heart.

    Like

    Reply

  26. Liza207
    Jan 24, 2012 @ 07:11:23

    Sophia, yes it is. You have been to CH, Jezebel and you comment and converse with black women on the BWE blogs, which are created by Americans. Therefore, they should be giving you a very clear picture of the male and female dynamic that exist here in the states and how dysfunctional it is. It is all about playing games and mindf**king and who has the upper hand and having low standards and low expectations.

    I have to admit I have a spot in my heart for the Canucks. I love how laid back and open-minded Canadians are. I am of Caribbean descent and I have some family Montreal but have not visited in a while.

    Like

    Reply

    • Zorro
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:20:20

      OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!

      I live in Vermont and I’ve been to Montreal many times. In addition to Prague and Bangkok, it is one of my most favorite cities!!!

      It’s like we’re related, girl!

      PS: Do you enjoy robust cunnilingus? Because I’m all over that.

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:56:00

        PS: Do you enjoy robust cunnilingus? Because I’m all over that

        Now, what woman would not enjoy robust cunnilingus? I have never known a guy who talked about giving cunnilingus as much as you have. Yes, I see that you are really enthusiastic about it. That is cool.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:05:16

          😆

          Like

          Reply

        • Zorro
          Jan 24, 2012 @ 10:02:38

          …because I can do gold-medal cunnilingus with a French-Canadian accent. Most of my relatives are French. I played ice hockey when I was 11, and the coach was named Ikey-John, a Frenchman who owned a gas station. We were UNDEFEATED!!!!! In two years, NOBODY beat us. We were 11-year old serial killers who put other humans into the fucking BOARDS!

          I am so freaked that you know Montreal, Liza, because soooooooooo much of my childhood is French-Canadian.

          Girl, you are officially now the shit!

          Like

          Reply

        • Sophia
          Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:00:15

          Oh my stars….first one devil starts talking about back door action up thread and now another one starts talking about going down on women…
          *fanning myself* I didn’t know this blog was so blue!

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:11:34

            Yeah, ahem, things can get a bit…uh…. nastay round here. I’m sorry, you sound so conservative. I hope you’re not turned off. LOL

            Like

            Reply

            • Sophia
              Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:29:59

              I’m just pulling your leg 🙂 I enjoy dirty humour as much as the next person…hell, I might participate once in a while!

              Like

              Reply

              • Neecy
                Jan 24, 2012 @ 22:36:16

                Well thats good. Liza and I have managed to be on the same Ovulating cycle shedule and uh let’s just say you can certainly tell when we are there as things get really interresting round here. LOL.

                if you stick around long enough, i think we’ll all eventually be ovulating at the same time. You know how that works when they say women all start ovulating and mensing around the same time when they are in close proximities to each other or living together?

                LOL! How hilarious if that applied in cyberspace!!

                Like

                Reply

    • Sophia
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:16:51

      Liza, you are right in the sense that I do see a lot of contention between men and women on those blogs you mentioned. But since the Internet amplifies the echo chamber, I thought perhaps it wasn’t the case with the majority of “real” people. Also, the BWE blogs had so many positive stories of black women being with or married to all sorts of men that in my mind it counteracts the other negative stuff. Jezebel, I side-eye hard, to be frank with you. The women who post act in entitled, “snarky” offputting ways that Neecy pointed out up thread.
      Lastly I lived for a couple of years in a mid-Western state and loved how open, direct and assertive the men were in approaching me for dates so I still retain affectionate and positive memories of American men. It maybe that when you go to a new country, you act differently, so people respond differently to you.
      In any case, I stand corrected 🙂

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 24, 2012 @ 10:04:43

        Sophia, yes, the BWE have many positive stories of black women finding love and happiness. But those blogs a few years ago were filled with black women who came to them to air their with grievances with black men and how badly they were being treatment by them. As you should know the mating/dating dynamic between black men and women is probably the worst male and female in this country.

        I am glad that you had positive memories of your time here in the states. I live in NYC with the most aggressive /assertive men. The approaching is not the problem– it is the quality of the men here that I have issue with the most. Most them are not really looking to settle down and are emotionally unavailable for the most part.

        Like

        Reply

  27. Zorro
    Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:17:53

    Well, since you decided to take MY IDEA about BETA GAME and make it a blog post (giving me no credit whatsoever for it thank you very much), I have come up with another idea that you just might find utterly worthless but I don’t know so I’ll let you decide.

    Straight men who have man-crushes on other men and we call them BROMANCES. This is not a gay thing. I’ve got nothing against Elton John or Liberace, but I just thought I’d fling it out there.

    And I don’t suck dick, either, so let’s not open that can of worms.

    Maybe it’s a shit idea, but if it isn’t, you’re the most epic girl to make it fly.

    Just saying.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:37:01

      I didn’t give you credit? I never in the actual post give credit to those who make the usggesstions. i usually do it on the post where the person made th suggesstion. But THANK YOU for the idear Mr. Bullwinkle!!!!

      And the BROMANCE thing? I am not sure what angle i would take on that. Can you elaborate?

      Like

      Reply

  28. Liza207
    Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:37:19

    Neecy, I think you should consider writing a post on what traits and characteristics of a quality mate. I will be glad to help you out here. I have come believe that most individuals these days don’t have clue as to what a quality person looks like.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 08:39:42

      Hmmm yes I like that post idea. We can colab on that one….

      I’m working on Marellus post idea next and then we can colab for that post you suggested.

      Like

      Reply

  29. Omerta327
    Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:21:07

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 21:16:59

      WOWWWWWW!

      Like

      Reply

      • Omerta327
        Jan 25, 2012 @ 07:56:19

        Yeah, apparantly one of the utility companies tore up the street and when they re-paved, they painted the C and the H in the wrong order.

        But still, the school didn’t notice it, the Dept of Education didn’t notice it, the city didn’t notice it, and now the DOT has to come and fix it. The saddest part is, as the article says, it’s been like that for so long it’s on GOOGLE MAPS. 😯

        Ya can’t make this shit up, folks.

        Like

        Reply

        • Neecy
          Jan 25, 2012 @ 08:38:29

          That is absolutely crazy! And then we wonder why kids are so illiterate today?

          Like

          Reply

        • Liza207
          Jan 25, 2012 @ 09:38:20

          It must have taken them a while to paint that pavement and no one was able to figure out that they were spelling “school” incorrectly.

          This country is in a world of shit. Don’t you think?

          Like

          Reply

          • Neecy
            Jan 25, 2012 @ 09:57:43

            YEP! It was either they really didn’t notice it or they really didn’t care. I’m thinking it was a mix of both.

            Like

            Reply

          • Omerta327
            Jan 25, 2012 @ 10:23:28

            Yeah, afraid so. These guys are responsible for providing people with water and gas, and they can’t even spell a friggin’ KINDERGARTEN word.

            Like

            Reply

            • Neecy
              Jan 25, 2012 @ 10:45:05

              I’m so glad that when I was in elementary that people still actually cared about kids education. No way would stuff like this have been overlooked.

              It just seems today no one really cares anymore about anything – especially kids education.

              i have a hard time believing that they did not notice this. I just believe they simply felt it was too much work to change it so they never really addressed it.

              Like

              Reply

  30. Liza207
    Jan 24, 2012 @ 09:30:51

    Now, that is a goddam shame.

    Like

    Reply

  31. Sophia
    Jan 25, 2012 @ 19:55:58

    It’s a little quiet right now. Anyone care to play?

    Like

    Reply

  32. Sophia
    Jan 25, 2012 @ 20:08:54

    Trying very hard not to pick up the phone and call the man I’m seeing. He flew out to the US on Sat and haven’t heard from him since then. He was supposed to be back on Monday night and usually calls on Tuesday but I haven’t heard from him yet.
    I guess it’s karma as he was the one constantly calling me in the beginning and I didn’t pick up much cause he was taking his sweet time asking me out and I was dating someone else.
    I already left him a vm. He can get back to me. I won’t call again. Pride wins over love.
    For now.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 25, 2012 @ 20:37:57

      UGH that is the one thing I don;t miss about dating and relationships. All of that. Its hard b/c its almost like a game everyone has to play in order to maintain the idea that they are not desperate for the other person.

      I would maybe call him once more and then wait for himt to return the call if he wanted to speak again. Maybe somehting is up b/c he was out of town? try it again and then its up to him to touch base with you after that – although he should have the courtesy to call you back even if its for a quick “hello i’m okay just busy”.

      Like

      Reply

  33. Sophia
    Jan 25, 2012 @ 20:58:48

    Yeah, the game playing part is a killer. I don’t want to play it. I wish I could just say, “listen champ, it’s quite apparent that you like me and that I like you so let’s cut the horseshit and just get together”. However, I sincerely believe that approach won’t work with men like him, i.e. hunters. He needs to chase me so I’ll let him catch me.

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:05:29

      Yes a woman has to be verry careful and strategic with guys like that b/c they like to be the hunters. the minute you come on too strong or “needy” or it seems you are constantly “jocking” him they start to feel you will be the kind of girl that needs his attention 24/7. its best to take your time with guys like that. its hard , especially when you like them and all, but you also have to maintain some space for yourself and himself as well. Sometimes slow is better but can be quite frustrating as well.

      I just wish people could do what their heart is telling them without all the games. But you just can’t these days b/c people can or will use that against you if its not in line with what they expect.

      Maybe you should talk with him about it the next time you are together. Ask what his expecatations are and tell him what yours are? That way moving forward if eithers expectations aren’t being met you know it may be time to move on.

      Like

      Reply

  34. Sophia
    Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:25:17

    Yes, name of the game is patience.

    I think it is a good idea to spell out expectations but the romantic in me rebels against this trend of verbalizing and declaring one’s needs and desires. It’s direct and efficient but terribly unseductive. Mmmm…I’ll have to think of how to approach this.

    Speaking of seduction, one time time the conversation ended and instead of talking, we gazed at one another. An entire conversation was had with just our eyes.

    OK, no more about my woes. What is the topic of your next post Neecy? What makes the perfect mate as per Liza’s suggestion?

    Like

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:31:02

      That will be after my post on flirting and the push pull etc. This was something marellus asked me to cover in the last post before this one so i oblidging. But Liza’s suggestion will be next. I also wanna cover the rules girl topic you brought up and how these women work in the SMP etc.

      Like

      Reply

  35. Neecy
    Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:31:51

    Also, I forgot about my dearest N/A’s suggestion on a post about charming men. Maybe I’ll cover two birds with one stone and put that in with the flirting post? hmmmm

    Like

    Reply

  36. Sophia
    Jan 25, 2012 @ 21:32:31

    Nice! I want to hear all about flirting and the push pull. These are great topics btw.

    Like

    Reply

  37. Liza207
    Jan 26, 2012 @ 08:42:59

    Oh, my god. Neecy and Sophia were in here talking about porn and lips to ass action (Personally, I don’t see the issue here, as long as, I don’t have to be the one giving it) while we were away. Wow, is there anything we won’t discuss on this blog. LOL! Gotta love it here.

    Like

    Reply

    • Omerta327
      Jan 26, 2012 @ 08:48:59

      (Personally, I don’t see the issue here, as long as, I don’t have to be the one giving it)

      Damn, you’re selfish. 😉

      Like

      Reply

      • Liza207
        Jan 26, 2012 @ 09:10:42

        Ha! Would it not be enough for you that you are giving me so much pleasure from the act that I would not have to reciprocate it? My pleasure is your pleasure…no? 

        Like

        Reply

    • Neecy
      Jan 26, 2012 @ 10:58:18

      Oh No liza, I am not *JUST* talking lips to booty, I am talking man’s tool inside woman’s mouth *AFTER* having been in her booty. Uh YEAH! I wouldn’t even put my lips, or tongue near anyone’s booty. Me no likey bacteria. LOL

      Like

      Reply

  38. Liza207
    Jan 26, 2012 @ 09:38:36

    Okay, no giving bunghole pleasuring for you. I got it.

    Heights unbridled ecstasy, really?! So, you got skills, huh?

    Like

    Reply

  39. Liza207
    Jan 26, 2012 @ 09:40:56

    Okay, no giving bunghole pleasuring for you. I got it.

    Heights of unbridled ecstasy, really?! So, you got skills, huh?

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: