How to lose your Schlubness in 5 hours; Just what the DOCTOR….. NEECY ordered.

(for all you fellas that think its so fun getting caught up with BPD chicks, read this story!)

So yesterday after work I decided to hit up my favorite sushi spot. As I was about to leave I saw a doctor who was one of my customers I used to call on about 4 years ago (damn time flies) who was one of my favorite docs and who had actually turned me onto this sushi place b/c my co-workers and I would always take he and his wife (who also worked in his office) there for lunch.

So he sees me and he gives me a hug and I notice something very strange. He was sitting at the sushi bar alone. So the *FIRST* thing I ask is where is his wife b/c they were *ALWAYS* together. You never saw one without the other. So immediately I figured something was wrong.

He looks at me with this smirk and says “Yeah. We’re divorcing, and if you have some time I can tell you the whole story”. I immediately felt really sad b/c he and his wife have been together for over 30 years since they were in high school and they were so close and they have a son who is very smart (and gorgeous he looks like an Abercrombie and Fitch model – no joke!) and is in first year of college.

To make a long story short, his wife apparently has had BPD all of her life but in the last 3 years it really surfaced and in a VERY VERY bad way. She basically tried killing herself 4 times and then suddenly started to blame him for all of her problems (anorexia, depression, etc) over the years (things she never even talked about or discussed with him). He said for almost two years he never knew what to expect from her b/c on her days off from the office she would do crazy erratic stuff and go off somewhere and try to kill herself. The final straw was she had driven up to San Francisco and was going to jump off a bridge etc.

Then she started saying how everyone had abused her. She lied and said her father abused her (her brother said it was a lie) and then she started saying Dr. X was abusing her (I cannot imagine this man doing such a thing). The real kicker is, the father and brother still always sided with him b/c they knew she was mentally ill and that she was lying.
Anyway. After all that and him trying to help her, she one day just cleaned out all of his accounts, credit cards etc. went to a Mercedes dealership and PAID ALL CASH on a new Mercedes worth 60K. BTW, she had to forge his name on all the paperwork at the banks and dealerships etc., b/c they had joint everything.

She was staying in a 4 seasons hotel for months and lied to her attorneys saying she was staying in a shelter. She continues blaming him for all of her problems and when he told her she better stop cleaning out the accounts and that he was going to close everything she went ballistic and started threatening him.

She eventually she put a restraining order on him and he no longer had access to his home, cars OR ANYTHING! He said he had to sleep on his boat, in the office patients rooms and finally ended up staying with a friend patient who rented their guest house out to him for 5 months. It was so sad b/c he said he had to go to his own sons DORM ROOM at college one day and tell him everything. And (this actually brought me to tears) he said his son saw him in such dire straits that all he could say was “dad do you need some money? I don’t have much but I’ll give it to you if you need it”. (he also started to tear up when he was telling me this). He said he had never in a MILLION years thought he would have lost everything to the point his own son in college would ask him if he needed to give him money.

This man pretty much hit rock bottom b/c of his BPD wife doing erratic crazy shit and lying.
Well basically this man is still going through the divorce process but he basically has lost everything until the court rules. She now has some b/f living in their home (which is this beautiful mansion in a gated community and which was also paid off), he has to pay her alimony (but feels it will be reversed once the court sees all of the forging of his name on documents she did etc) and he has not even been able to step foot on his house premises for over a year.

We actually had a nice laugh when he said “So now I have to face this fact that she is BANGING some guy in MY HOUSE that I PAID FOR!”. But I have to say he has truly taken a positive attitude about this and has decided to not be bitter b/c he knows she will have to pay for everything she has done (especially all the forging she did). She doesn’t even have a relationship with her own son anymore b/c she threw him out of the house and called him a “fukin asshole” b/c he was saying that she should stop lying on his father like she was (her son caught her throwing all of his mail away and he had so many collections and fines for car registration b/c of it).
So all this happened at the end of 2010 and into early 2011. So last year he started actually dating and going on dating sites.

 

GOOD THINGS:
(1) he is not bitter at all and has an optimistic outlook on his future and understands that karma will take care of his wife.
(2) He is not afraid to open women and ask them out (many he has met online)
(3) He doesn’t seem to be carrying any of the baggage around as he has a humorous approach to his situation
(4) He is still open for finding love
(5) He is not looking for ONS
(6) He is not sitting and wallowing in pity and he does believe he will meet a great woman once again and is willing to go out and do whatever it takes to stay healthy and happy and continuously dating until he find “the one”

BAD THINGS:
(1) He is listing his profession as a DOCTOR on the dating sites
(2) He is being too accommodating to the women he gets dates with
(3) He is pursuing them too heavily and pouring on the compliments
(4) Possibly coming off needy
(5) Serious case of oneitis and wants every woman he meets to be “THE ONE”
(6) Won’t take any of the women up on their ONS offers

Ok. I told him that maybe he should not list his profession as “Doctor” and instead say he works in the “healthcare industry” b/c I said he wants a woman to see him for HIM and not his profession. Also he works and has an office in a very upscale area and so some women may simply just go out with him b/c of his profession.

 

I think it’s great he respects himself and he was shocked at how forward women are sexually even to the point of trying to have ONS’s. But he is not really interested in having those kinds of relationships he says. He doesn’t mind intimacy but he kinda wants it to be with a woman he has *somewhat* of a connection with even if they are not seriously dating.

I am happy with the positive approach he has taken b/c sometimes men or women who have been married for so long and find themselves up in age, really feel they don’t have anything to offer to anyone anymore and often continue to pine for their loves of so many years – even when things were bad. The also fall into a serious depression and he said he had beat himself up during those 3 years and actually started to believe he was the cause of all of his wife’s problems. But now he is moving out of that and is starting to find happiness and independence for the first time in his life without his wife.

 

He also is open to trying new things he hasn’t done before (like dancing when he goes out) etc.
So he starts telling me about all the dates and women he has met and the issues he is having trying to navigate the SMP for the first time. I mean he has been with his wife since HIGH SCHOOL! He’s now 50 and has no clue.

 

He told me he is not afraid to let a woman know of his interest and one day at a restaurant he told the waitress “I think you are very beautiful and I would love to get to know you better”. LOL

 

So immediately I start schooling him on what he has been doing wrong with these women. Ok he has major ONEITIS but I will have to say at least he is getting out there and isn’t shy about approaching women online.

 

I started by breaking down the ALPHA/BETA titles and where guys like him fit – more on the beta side. I also explained to him that women really want a guy that is in the middle. Not too nice and not too aloof. She wants a man she can respect and if he is being too too accommodating very early on before a relationship has been established, she will lose respect for him. If he starts being too aloof and elusive she’ll question his interest in her and will back off eventually. I also started to tell him how women think and what they really want. And I told him to get over his ONEITIS fever b/c he has plenty of time to get to date and get to know many different kinds of women and personalities before he decides to settle down again.

THE WOMEN

BPD CHICK 2.0

So he just gets out of a marriage with a woman who has SEVERE BPD. Well once he started to date again one of his patients he has known for a while suggested that they go out. She was the FIRST woman he dated right after his marriage. He had to discharge her as a patient to do so, but says she was very attractive woman who is very fit. They go on 3 very romantic dates and things are looking spectacular. The 4th date she invites him to join her at a friend’s house for dinner. So they go to dinner and he says they were having steak and she had taken one of the bigger pieces for herself. Well he jokingly leans in and whispers to her “you little piggy” LOL. He said she gave him this crazy look and for the rest of dinner she was being really snippy and making snide remarks to him. Once they get in the car to drive home, he says she lost it and went into a serious rage about what he said re: the Piggy comment. So he apologized but she seemed pretty upset. Then the next day she calls him acting really sweet. Then the following week she calls him saying she is still upset about the steak incident and says she doesn’t really want to continue to date him. UP and DOWN. He was a bit relieved although he liked her but saw that rage and erratic meltdown and the constant up and down moods she had and had flashbacks about how his wife started to act once her BPD came to surface.

Two months later they have a second go around after he calls her out of the blue to give it a second chance. This time he said they were watching a movie getting along really well all cuddled up etc. at her house. He made a comment about the movie ( I can’t remember exactly what the convo was about) but basically she jumped up and started to go off on him again! LOL Well he says he is really sad that things didn’t work out b/c he wanted her to be “the one”.

NEECY’S ADVICE TO HIM:
I told him she was the very first woman that he went out with after his divorce and since being married for over 30 years and that he should get out of this mindset of “oneitis” that he has and wants so badly. I understand b/c when you are in a relationship so long, you only know how to be with one person. But I told him he has to take things slowly and allow himself time to learn about himself and what he truly likes, wants and needs in a woman. He doesn’t need to rush into something else, b/c there are so many opportunities for him to find someone later down the line that has all the qualities he wants. Plus that chick was just wifey 2.0 which he doesn’t need again.

THE BEVERLY HILLS BRAZILLIAN BEAUTY WITH MAAAAD EX HUBBY AND NEW WIFE ISSUES

So this woman he says he met through a lawyer friend and she is somewhat recently divorced and has teenage daughters. The issue is her husband remarried to some crazy biatch that when they were all in divorce court reached across the table and tried to pull her hair out. LOL. She says the woman also comes by her house and stalks her. So anyway, he tells her about his situation with his ex and she had the audacity to tell him that she doesn’t know if she is ready to enter into a relationship with someone with that many problems. LOLLLL! He said he couldn’t believe someone with as much drama going on in her life, someone who still has teenage kids at home, still battling her husband and his new wife would have the audacity to say that to him.  She even asked if he would go with her to some court hearings to “protect her” (haha wealthy people crack me up with htier drama). So she ended the relationship. But he still pines for her and wants to call her up.

NEECY’S ADVICE TO HIM:

LET.IT.GO. Too much drama that he doesn’t want to be caught up in. he’s had enough drama in his life and doesn’t need to walk into a new situation or into a crossfire. He agreed and said he will let it go.

THE PERSIAN PRINCESS GOLDIGGER WITH BOO KOO MONEY

So he meets this really intelligent, very attractive, well to do Persian woman. She is a dentist and she is also very wealthy. She is divorced and has older kids and says he really hit it off with her so much that she introduced him to her kids and family. But the only thing he didn’t enjoy about her is that she was very materialistic and “princess”. He said she had waaaaaay more money than him, owned tons of high end property. But was always making comments like “when we vacation I expect you to pay for everything”. LOL So he said one day he was on the internet and happened to be looking at rings. He had a picture of a 1 carat diamond up and she automatically assumed he was looking for a ring for her. He said she immediately got very defensive and said “you aren’t looking at that piece of garbage for me are you! I won’t take anything less than a 4 carat”. LOL. So he said he didn’t know what to say and just didn’t really respond.

Well the last straw was after they had a date one night, he was at her house and he had started to doze off and fall asleep as he was really tired. He said he let out a little snore and she jumped up and was like “OMG YOU SNORE! I’M OSRRY BUT THAT IS A DEAL BREAKER!! I CANNOT BELIEV YOU SNORE! I can’t deal with snoring”. So she basically dumps him a couple days later over the phone and says her sister advised her it was best b/c “she’ll never get healthy sleep” with someone who snores. OMG LMAO. About two weeks later he calls her and she tells him the only way she could move forward is if he calls her sister (who is some MD specialist) and have her do surgery on him to stop him from snoring. (again – LOL OMG ). He said he is still thinking about doing it.

NEECY’S ADVICE TO HIM:

Another batshit crazy. Not worth it. I told him if he wanted to do the surgery for HIS OWN REASONS then fine. But under no circumstances should he do it to appease her. If she will quickly dump him for snoring (something he cannot control) what else will she bitch and complain about? Also, I said she is kind of tacky in always coming off very materialistic, greedy . Even though she has money (and more than him) it still doesn’t make it right and I said his sanity will be at stake if he keeps her.

THE ASIAN ROBOT CHICK

One of the women who he is still seeing off and on (b/c she is giving up the booty)– an Asian woman in her 40’s who looks great for her age who he met mid last year. But she always wants to do the same dating stuff over and over (like she is a robot) and he likes to do more adventurous things like hiking, biking, etc. and she doesn’t have an interest in that. He also said that he doesn’t think he could take her around his friends out of fear she will just sit there without interest.

She is a *bit* more reciprocating than the others but she is always calling on him to do stuff for her. For instance, she will invite him over for dinner and afterwards start asking him to do stuff around the house for her. OK at least she is cooking dinner for him. They also have already had sex. So at least she is providing him with intimacy. The problem is he says it kind of bugs him though when she calls him out the blue and asks him to come to where she is and take her somewhere, or drop her off somewhere (b/c her car is being serviced) etc. And it bugs him b/c she owns her own business and has employees there that she could have do those things for her. But she expects him to drive over 20 miles from where he lives to do those things for her and he doesn’t think that makes sense unless he is already over there. I AGREE.

Well one day she just kind stopped answering his calls after they had a discussion about trying new things to do for dates. He said her main focus is always only on money, and her business and she has no real other hobbies. But I believe he is fascinated with her body and looks at her age b/c he said she looks REALLY young.

Ironically a couple months later, she called him out the blue and re-ignited the friendship. He is still unsure about how far this will go b/c of the different interests.

NEECY’S ADVICE TO HIM:

I told him its fine to keep seeing her, but if he is looking to eventually settle down he would waste time with her b/c she doesn’t like doing the things he likes and there is a *bit* of a language barrier. Also, she is very rigid in what she likes and does while he is more outgoing. I also told him that as long as he continues to see her, he needs to set boundaries. I think he is ok doing things for her when they are already together b/c she is at least reciprocating (she cooks for him and they do have sex). But I don’t think he should put much effort into this one simply b/c I’m not so sure how far things could go b/c of the lack of similar interests and the language barrier.

THE LATEST AND SO FAR THE GREATEST – THE BUBBLY BLONDE COUGAR

So he showed me a picture of the newest one. She is a really attractive 45 year old woman who you could tell in her heyday was a knock out. But she still has two teenage sons that live at home and he says they are a little on the mischievous side. LOL Anyway, this one is a blonde sweet and bubbly. She likes to do all the outdoorsy stuff he enjoys and is always happy go lucky. He said though, that he really likes her and that she is always flaking on him and it has ruined several plans he has had. She’ll call him and say “we’ll get together this weekend and I’ll come up”. So he cancels any plans with friends only to be left holding the bag when she cancels on him at the last minute. Of course he hasn’t expressed his frustration b/c he doesn’t want to come off as “rude.

NEECY’S ADVICE TO HIM:

She is testing you. You need to set boundaries and whenever she tries to make plans with you in the future tell her that weekend is not a good time b/c you have plans. Also, when she calls and says “we’ll spend Thrs. And Fri. together” tell her that one of the days will not work but you could “POSSIBLY” meet her on Friday depending on what’s going on for you that weekend. I said that women will often test a guy to see if he stands up to her or for himself. By him not ever making a comment about her constant flaking, she believes he is just some desperate guy waiting around for her. So I told him to next time tell her in a cordial way “look this cancelling at the last minute is becoming to frequent. And while I understand things come up, you also need to realize I have things going on and will not continue to cancel my plans in these instances”. I also told him to stop being so available.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Well that’s it. And after spending 5, yes FIVE hours talking with him about all the things and changes he needs to make, he was just looking at me like a deer in headlights. He said NO ONE ever told him any of this stuff before. I was tempted to lead him to the PUA sites but chose not to b/c of too many crazies over there and he is not that kind of guy. But he really needs guidance on properly navigating the SMP. I will say he is not doing so bad b/c he is getting the dates and the women and he is not afraid to ask them out. But he needs to start setting boundaries with these women and also needs to get out of the mindset that he has to jump into a serious relationship with one woman so soon after just being divorced and going through everything he had gone through with his ex-wife over the last 3 years.

So now he begged me to stop by his office often to give him tips and I will. I am going to help Dr. XX go from being a schlub to a MONKEY IN THE MIDDLE who has a solid frame and boundaries that will draw women closer to him and will make women respect him more :mrgreen:

If there are any tips you all have and think I should relay please feel free to post them.

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50 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Marellus
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 06:15:55

    Why don’t you go for him yourself ?

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  2. Omerta327
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 07:50:42

    Whoooa. 😯 The doc’s story sounds like a plane/train/bus crash all wrapped up into one big clusterf*ck.

    Hard to believe none of his ex’s BPD tendencies surfaced for the first 25+ years of marriage, maybe something happened in her life that triggered such a chemical imbalance. I dunno. But she definitely exhibits the classic BPD symptoms, that much is certain. The sad thing is she pulled all this crap on him over a year ago, and he’s still fighting to get his property back. Probably will be for quite some time – damn feminist court system.

    Alright, so let’s go thru “the bitch list”. :mrgreen:

    1) First of all, dating one of your patients? BAAAD idea. Like the old saying goes, never sh*t where you eat. Actually, she doesn’t sound BPD to me, just bipolar (heh, JUST bipolar!). But that’s bad enough. I’d have told him this lady is no good – eject immediately.

    2) Damn. This bitch is so batsh*t crazy she thinks her drama isn’t really drama. Ha! Your advice was sound – I’d have told him to GTFO as well.

    3) Yikes – CLASSIC prima donna. He should have been making a mad dash for the door after the ‘ring’ incident. This byotch presents another danger in that he’d always be supplicating to her. I’d tell him to run and not look back. Dating her is like walking into a buzzsaw.

    4) The asian lady doesn’t sound bitchy, just a little needy. I’d tell him to proceed with caution here if he indeed likes her. Though she’s got to make a little more effort to assimilate herself into the dating scene.

    5) Classic flaky chick. Any girl THAT flaky isn’t worth any man’s time. Your advice was spot on. And one more thing – NEVER, EVER cancel plans made in advance for a woman. Making yourself that available makes you look way too needy. He should drop this one – she’s not gonna change her flaky ways.

    Ha! You know, he really should be paying you for all this coaching – that’s a lot of time and energy on your part. The only other advice I can think of right now is tell him to hit the gym and LIFT WEIGHTS (he need to get his testosterone pumping, especially at his age), and direct him to Heartiste’s blog and tell him to read the articles there – though maybe not the responses.

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    • Neecy
      Feb 01, 2012 @ 09:21:49

      LOL Omerta yes that story is straight out of a movie!

      When I knew her she was always very cold and reserved. but once she got to know you she was a bit more warm and friendly. Also I believe he said that she did have a nervous breakdown in their kitchen and that was the beginning of everything. So I think maybe the nervous breakdown triggered that chemical imbalance. Also, she while she was not very warm and affectionate with anyone EVER, she was always that way with her son, but now she even treats him coldly.

      Its kinda sad to see what can happen to a person dealing with that sort of chemical imbalance. Realy can mess up their life and the life of their loved one.

      And he said now that he look sback there were signs *something* was wrong b/c she suffered with anorexi and depression a lot over the years.

      He also said he had at one point joined an onloine support community of people who had loved ones with BPD and he realized how prominent and similar the situations to his were.

      Well he doesn’t have to pay me for advice b/c he made me lot of money when I used to call on him b/c he wrote a lot of my drug. That is how we became close and why he was one of my fav docs. So he has already paid 😉

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      • Omerta327
        Feb 01, 2012 @ 09:40:10

        Alright. Sounds like there were quite a few signs all along that something was amiss. Once they all came to a head, the dam burst.

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        • Neecy
          Feb 01, 2012 @ 09:47:08

          Yep. Isn’t that scary though? Knowing and being with someone that long and then they just completely flip like that. He also said he doesn’t know how much of her mental illness is to blame or how much of it is just her. That’s gotta be tough. 😦

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          • Omerta327
            Feb 01, 2012 @ 10:28:35

            It’s both. But that doesn’t really matter, does it?

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            • Neecy
              Feb 01, 2012 @ 23:17:07

              That’s what i told him. It seemed for a moment when he first started telling me about everything that he wanted to believe it was all her mental illness. i told him it wasn’t. That she knew EXACTLY what she was doing and in fact had EVERYTHING PLANNED out IMO. I don’t even believe she was really trying to kill herself. I think she was doing all that to build up a false case to eventually do what she did and strip him of everything and get a restraining order on him to leave him helpless. b/c he said when they found at the location of her “suicide attempts” every time there were a shitload of pills and alcohol. Uhm she’d be dead by now after 4 attempts of taking all those pills and alcohol. Not buying it. but i didn’t say that to him, i just thought that in my head.

              And when i said that he thougth about it and said I was right that she had everything planned out b/c of the timing of when she withdrew from the accounts, to even lying on him so that she could get a restraining order so that he could not access his home and cars (which she sold and actually tried to get money for in the court and the judge got pissed and called her out). That is why the judge recently dropped the restarining order charges against Doc and also why Doc believes she will actually end up having to pay back A LOT of money she took from the acocunts – especially since she forged.

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              • Omerta327
                Feb 02, 2012 @ 06:56:30

                Mmm hmm. People with BPD can be very conniving and calculating, and she’s obviously no exception.

                Glad to see the wheels are in motion for him to start getting his property back. That’s a huge step in the right direction for him.

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      • Omerta327
        Feb 01, 2012 @ 10:29:29

        LOL Omerta yes that story is straight out of a movie!

        Yeah, a Rob Zombie movie. 😯

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  3. Firepower
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 11:35:36

    neester, it must be TERRIBLE having to work for a doctor who has a wife in the office – props girl

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  4. Sophia
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 16:38:20

    So this doctor has sampled Caucasian, Asian and Persian flavours, eh? Mmmmmm….there is one flavour missing from that lineup….

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  5. n/a
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 18:23:34

    The guy is an idiot. You think a link to Roissy is gonna hurt this fool?

    I have a feeling he jerks off to the idea of another man fucking his wife and that mental disorder is fatal.

    One good thing I take from this sordid tale is a proof that you, Miss Neecy, are not a bitch. If you were this fool would’ve been all over you.–

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    • Neecy
      Feb 01, 2012 @ 23:20:08

      Aww N/A cut the poor guy some slack. he has been married for over 30 years since High school and only in the last 4 years did she start losing it. He hasn’t dated another woman EVER except his wife and he’s going to make some fumbles int he dating scene since he is quite new to it and with outdated ideas.

      He and his wife were very close and were like two peas in a pod. They did everything together and went everywhere together. At least when I knew them both they seemed happy althoughs he was always a little reserved and quiet.

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  6. MK
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 20:57:39

    Good read Neecy. If he lives in Cali (which I assume) he’s ROYALLY F’d. She’s into him for alimony for life since its been past 20 years. Now his only edge will be is if she’s so loopy he can get her to slip up but if she get’s a lawyer that prob won’t happen.

    Poor guy but its a pretty good tale on why a man has a benefit of an LTR vs. a marriage. I know you’ll call me bitter and knock me for saying it and I know not all women are like that BUT these stories are becoming ALL too common. You can attribute it to choice if you want but there is ALOT more to the story. It’s the environment and incentives.

    A NON BITTER BUT PRAGMATIC MK

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    • Neecy
      Feb 01, 2012 @ 23:28:28

      Actually to be fair she contributed a lot to their financial success b/c she was a P.A. in his office, which created more patients for him that she could see while he could see other patients. She had quite a bit of her own patients b/c i called on them BOTH. So her working there in his practice increased his practice two fold. She brought in over 6 figures to the practice alone each year. So he told me that everything they had the BOTH of them worked and built together – it wasn’t just him.

      But apparently there is some law that b/c she has been living on the premises for over two years (on property they BOTH SHARED) and has a live in b/f his attorney believes it will be ruled that she will have to pay back hundreds of thousand of dollars to Doc b/c he also paid for the house and did not have access to it. She’s also in trouble b/c the snake sold all his cars and then tried to pull a fast on on the judge and he busted her b/c Docs attorney showed she had sold the cars. Can you BELIEVE THAT! She was trying to get MONEY off of cars she already sold and got the money for! LOL! And not only that – her attorney at the time didn’t even know this! So he dropped her as a client and she has a new one who Doc says is trying to move the process as fast as possible b/c they know she is a nutcase who is going ot have to pay out the ying yang.

      Also old boy living on the property with her makes things worse for her b/c he had not contributed to the properrty and was taking advanatge of its value by living there, while Doc was stripped of any ability to partake in an asset he contributed to.

      He also said this divorce is costing them over 300k in attorney fees ALONE! Yikes!

      She’s about to get hit hard.

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      • MK
        Feb 02, 2012 @ 04:47:58

        Wow 300k in fees alone impressive he was living nice.

        It is true that in divorces typically the lone undisputed winner are the lawyers.

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        • Neecy
          Feb 02, 2012 @ 08:30:47

          Yep and now all that money she took she’s gonna have to pay it out anyway to attorney fees. Gotta live how karma takes care of greedy evil people.

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  7. chic noir
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 21:09:59

    Marellus Why don’t you go for him yourself ?

    life lessions 101 lession 2

    Don’t sh_ _ where you sleep.

    *chic noir lets out class*

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  8. Mark Slater
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 21:27:15

    Some observations…

    This guy probably hasn’t been in the SMP for 30-odd years and that alone can be tough. He has GOT to realise that this isn’t 1979 anymore nor is he the blushing, bumbling teenager he was back then. He is now an accomplished, sophisticated physician who would be sought after by many top-notch women IF he understands the fundamentals of Game, how to be the “monkey-in-the-middle”, if you prefer. My admiration to you, Neecy, for helping him along in this.

    BPD (Bi-polar Disorder) is a catch-all non-diagnosis utilized to explain a host of severe mental anomalies. Even most psychiatrists cannot adequately explain what it is exactly. In times of yore it was known as “manic-depressive” (which is far more accurate and descriptive). The subject will go from extreme depression to feeling unconquerable and high-flying (and, coupled with a malevolent bent) can step on others in ways decent people would find difficult to believe (see post). The Doc’s ex-wife would seem to fit in this category.

    [Omerta said] “…and direct him to Heartiste’s blog and tell him to read the articles there – though maybe not the responses.”
    I have noticed of late on this blog a certain trashing of the commenters of Chateau Heartiste, which I feel is unfair to the 25% or so really good, thoughtful people (King A, Musing Alpha, AB Dada, the poetic Firepower, n/a, and Neecy herself come to mind) Have Doc give CH a gander INCLUDING the comment section and the archives.

    “So yesterday after work I decided to hit up my favorite sushi spot…”
    Neecy, my sweet, I don’t believe I could ever fit in in So. California. I would no doubt embarrass you greatly, “Hey, where’s the jukebox in this joint? Let’s get some George Strait goin’! YEEEHA!” [Neecy pulls tablecloth over her head]

    Sushi, Blech!

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    • Neecy
      Feb 01, 2012 @ 23:44:12

      OMG You no likey SUSHI!! WHAT.IS.WRONG.WITH.YOU!!!! LOL J/K

      It took me awhile to get hip to sushi and honestly this is the only place where I go when i eat it.

      Sorry but Heartiste’s articles may help him but he would quickly ask me why i would dwell at a place like that with such low class men (the commenters). And also the majority of men on there actualy hate women and are not looking for ways to be more successful. they just wan tot bitch and complain. He is not in that place and that is a good thing. one or two good commenters don’t make it enough to say its a good site for me to recommend. If the site had a majority of level headed males on there I would have no qualms telling him to go there.

      I wouldn’t even recommend the site to any other guys I knew who could benefit for that reason alone (the majority of commenters).

      Its too vulgar and he is really a very classy man who would not enjoy the site simply b/c of the commenters regardless of how good the articles would be.

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      • n/a
        Feb 01, 2012 @ 23:54:48

        Do you think he’s really that much of an intellectual weakling and emotional coward that he couldn’t deal with a little “vulgarity” at CH?

        Honey, the truth is a shit-sandwich and he needs to wolf it down.

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        • Neecy
          Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:11:41

          I don’t know what you expect of him? he has no control over what happened to him or the fact that after 30 years his wife went completely BATSHIT. He was prepared to die with this woman. they been together since high school building a fortune together. he cannot help the fact that he is entering into a dating market like a blind inexperienced fish b/c he was a good husband to his wife and loved her. in due time (and with my help) he’ll get it figured out.

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          • n/a
            Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:23:21

            From your account of this wretched woman and her willing accomplice husband, she did not suddenly go “batshit.” They never do.

            No. He knew and chose not to see.

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            • Neecy
              Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:32:06

              I wonder this myself. But she did have signs b/c she battled anorexia for years she also had off and on depression. These are the things she blamed him for b/c he never tried to help her.

              He says that all these issues she had she never opened up to him.

              I do believe it’s possible he may have neglected to address her issues earlier but I still don’t think he deserved what happened to him?

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    • Omerta327
      Feb 02, 2012 @ 07:06:59

      Mark,

      Yeah, there are some good posters over at the Chateau, I just think it all might be a little too much of a shock to the doc’s system at first. Let him go over there and read the articles, kind of let him dip his toes in the water, so to speak. Then once he get acclimated, he can go full into the comments. There’s definitely some good wisdom in there to be weeded out.

      And yeah, I’m not much on sushi either. I’m a meat and potatoes guy. If I want fish, I’d rather hit the supermarket and get some swordfish, throw it on the grill with a splash of lemon juice. Deee-lish.

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  9. n/a
    Feb 01, 2012 @ 23:56:35

    I’m disappointed in your dismissal of CH and what you’ve learned there.

    Though I’m sure your dismissal is just a phase. Maybe hormonal, even?

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    • Neecy
      Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:09:42

      If I completely dismissed CH I wouldn’t post there. I am not putting down the articles or Heartiste, but sorry most of the commenters (about 70-80%) of them are just not right. The other 20%-30% are cool, but its not enough to make me wanna recommend the site b/c its really negative once you read past the articles and into the comments. And its also very vulgar there.

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      • Neecy
        Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:13:48

        Plus he’ll probably find it on his own anyway as the term “oneitis” interested him a lot. i am sure googling that will lead him to a PUA site of some sort.

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        • n/a
          Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:19:24

          Neecy,

          Yes, “oneitis” shd indeed interest him. But there’s a whole world of thought behind these concepts — that’s what a man like that needs.

          He’s also culpable.–

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          • Neecy
            Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:34:22

            I know but he would beige focused on why the commenters are the aY they are than the articles.

            I think it’s better he avoid pua sites. All it will go is make him angry and bitter and he’ ll never be able to move on.

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      • n/a
        Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:21:16

        You misread the commenters there, Neecy.

        You should realize that men adopt exaggerated postures around other men and that they love to fight. That alone explains most of what one reads there.

        One has to learn to separate tone from content.

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      • n/a
        Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:27:59

        Tell me more about the vulgarity.

        I love vulgarity. Vulgarity is life. 😉

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  10. n/a
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 00:30:11

    I finally get you alone and look what happens. C’est la vie, baby!

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  11. Marellus
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 01:18:00

    Can anybody answer this : Can this doctor dodge a lot of trouble by emigrating ? Or will the US Legal system still persue him ? And what will happen if he gains a second passport and surrenders his citizenship ?

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  12. Omerta327
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 06:53:11

    I completely agree with n/a, Neece. This dude needs an IV drip of CH, stat. It’ll do him good.

    Honey, the truth is a shit-sandwich and he needs to wolf it down.

    Poetic, and true. Who wants breakfast?

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  13. Neecy
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 08:28:31

    Sorry guys I ain’t recommending CH to anyone. A lot of those men are damaged and bitter and many are even borderline delusional. This Doc is a very level headed healthy man with a good heart and head on his shoulders and he has class. He’s going to be just fine if he keeps his positive attitude. He will do nothing but become angry, bitter, and cynical of women if he hangs out at Heartistes. Sorry we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.

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  14. Maya
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 11:59:23

    “He will do nothing but become angry, bitter, and cynical of women if he hangs out at Heartistes.”

    Well, he doesn’t have to believe everything he reads there … Or are you afraid that CH is so convincing that he can make anyone become bitter and cynical? 😛

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  15. LoboSolo
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 16:51:15

    Nitpick alert … I’m pretty easy on spelling (I’m a freespeller). I’m pretty flexible on most grammar gray areas … But some things need to be right:

    “I would always take he and his wife …” >>> I would always take HIM and his wife …

    Now you can go back to discussing the batshit crazy women. The truth is, at this point in his life, he doesn’t need a steady gf and should run away from even thinking about marriage.

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    • Neecy
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:33:05

      Oh Lobo Lobo Lobo!!!

      You will find a bazillion spelling errors and grammar errors on this here blog in which I dwell. LOL You could actually make a decent living out of correcting my errors that’s how frequent they are. LOL

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    • Neecy
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:34:23

      And you are right, he’s not really ready to jump inot a relationship just yet. Later down the linbe YES, but not now. He should enjoy his single life now and learn while he can.

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