CHECK MATE!

Everyone has their own definitions on what makes a quality mate. Some even make these insane long lists on what traits and things they want specifically in a man or woman. Of course that list usually gets shortened once a person realizes that, uuuuh, yeah that number 5 requirement that they be *BORN* naturally and completely hairless in all the wrong places and with hair in all the right places (on top of the head ONLY) prolly aint going to get you closer to that potential guy or gal.

But if one is realistic they can find themselves closer to what makes a person a really good companion. Of course when you live in a generation of people who are shallow or Batshit, it makes it harder to get closer to that guy or gal that would be an almost perfect fit.

As we can all see in today’s generation – anything goes when it comes to choosing a partner. We live in such a superficial era and time where people are often basing judgments on someone’s value on things like how they look and if they have the perfect body, height and measurements. We are in a media culture in which “REALITY” TV has taken over the airwaves and has presented itself as “reality”. So we see reality stars with perfect teeth, boobs, muscles, hair, lifestyles and think that they are living the   average person’s life b/c it’s “reality” and so called “unscripted”. Sorry having a camera follow you around doing stupid shit does not constitute reality! Anyway, I digress… where was I?

In most of modern media culture when we see the “perfect” relationships it’s usually the people who look the best, have the most money, most popular are used as some kind of measuring stick to determine what makes a person valuable.

Also we live in a time of paranoia when it comes to love and relationships and both men and women often skimp on the most important things needed in a partner to have a great relationship out of fear of being alone. Things typically avoided and/or not even considered like:

—  Is the person SANE  NOT BATSHIT CRAZY

—  Is the person KIND

—  Is the person well rounded

—  Easy to get along with

—  Without baggage

—  Drama free

—  Of good character

Instead the focus is always FIRST and many times ONLY on:

—  Looks and looks ONLY

—  Are they tall enough

—  Do they have the perfect measurements

—  Do they have the perfect job

—  Are their boobs big enough

—  Is their ass small/big enough

—  Is their chest and shoulders broad enough

I could go on.

DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

Too many people today don’t truly know their own real SMP value and where they fit in – that is b/c they typically are overestimating it to sometimes RIDONKEYLOUS degrees.

A lot of people demand in a partner what they themselves are not. Example. I had a friend who at one point was overweight. A guy on the job who was about the same weight as her and who was not physically fit liked her. She liked a guy who was very cut up and very fit and muscular. That guy likes women who were in physical fitness shape like himself. The fat guy around her weight asks her out one day and she turns him down. We speak on the phone and she sounds aggravated at the fat guy asking her out b/c “she is just not attracted to fat men”. She goes onto say that fit bodied man doesn’t seem to have an interest in her as she has shown a great deal of interest in him. So I ask her why she feels she can judge a man who has the same problem as her (being overweight)? I also asked her what makes her think that she deserves a “fit” man when she herself is not “fit”? UH OH!  Well needless to say she got pissed and upset b/c I basically told her she cannot demand what she isn’t herself. And dammit Neecy will always be right when it comes to this!

That mentality is not one that plagued just this former friend – it plagues more people than the law should allow! Mostly average people who think they should just be able to snatch up any highly above average person while looking down on their equally average counterparts.  I’m not sure if there is a name for this unfortunate delusional disease but I call it the “GETHAFUKOUTTAHERE! YOU CAN’T BE FOR REALZ???” disease.

Ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing wrong with dreaming, fantasies, and delusions of grandeur as long as they stay in your head while you are sleeping and lying on a pillow or daydreaming at work. But once you start trying to apply those delusions of grandeur in your personal life, it’s time to REFLECT on REALITY. This is not to say that one should not think highly of themselves. But thinking highly of yourself should always be kept in perspective. Often times we overestimate our potential if we don’t stay realistic on other factors that would make us highly appealing to top notch persons.

The reality is A lot of people will grossly overestimate their value OR know they are not on the same level of what they seek and still feel entitled to get who and what they want – just b/c. SOWWY don’t work that way! Some will hold out until that day (that will never come), some actively pursue those way out of their leagues to disappointing results, and some keep hoping, wishing and praying they can land a super high value partner while they are still at mediocre level. Sometimes a person may “luck up” and manage to snag some higher value partner with mostly disasterous results which usually are:

—  they get used b/c they are obviously desperate and lower on the scale and willing to accept less than stellar behavior and character from the higher value partner

—   they will end up with crazies and lunatics and try to overlook the obvious b/c of their shallow issues

—  Will keep getting dumped and/or ending up in dead end relationships all the time

Those just to name a few.

WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL – AND SHOULD!

In Neecy’s world (talk about delusions of grandeur eh? HA!), the ideal pairing is LIKE with LIKE. My philosophy is drive within your lane. There is nothing wrong with reaching for the stars in education, your career, physical fitness, in Mars, doing a hobby, task etc. But sorry in the mating game, if you are not on the same level of what you reach for, then you really need to re-evaluate what it is that makes you believe you are deserving of the best when you, yourself may not be the best. Of course I am not just talking about looks. I am talking about what one is bringing to the table in general.

If you are jobless, have missing teeth, lazy, fat, smelly and you are seeking a partner that is well put together in almost every aspect, then sorry you are not “deserving” of that person just b/c you want that.

If people were more realistic about what they were bringing to the table when it comes to their SMV in the  SMP and what they could get realistically in a partner, there would be a lot more happy people in good *SOLID* relationships.

But nowadays everyone wants to keep up with the “perfect ideal mate” joneses and thus why people either:

(1)  End up in consistent dead end relationships

(2)  Being used

(3)  In relationships that are full of drama

(4)  End up with crazies or lunatics who abuse them

ONE SIZE FITS ALL – Should only apply to trouser socks and knee high panty hose. NOT people

Often times men and women take a One Size Fits All approach to the opposite sex and their value. While there may be certain generalities that can apply to the sexes, once you start living by them, you become focused solely on generalities and not the individual person. There is no “ALL” of anything. People need to start recognizing people as individuals. While it’s okay to look at certain characteristics a person may have and determine if it will work out for you in the long run that are fine. But if you just assume and jump to conclusions that a “certain type” of man or woman is best while all others aren’t, you will find yourself limited when it comes to finding the quality person you say you want.

 WHAT MAKES A QUALITY MATE AND QUALITY RELATIONSHIP?

I think that it does take time these days to find quality people for long-term relationships b/c everyone is all about quick, fast and easy. Impatience in the new patience. But if a person is realistic about what they want in a mate, I think eventually they will succeed in finding a quality person for a lasting relationship if that is what they are seeking and if they are of quality themselves.

NEECY’S *REALISTIC* One Size Fits All Approach to finding the best quality partner

Attraction & Maturity

Attraction & Maturity go hand in hand. Maturity is about being reasonable. Attraction is not COMPLEEETLY about looks. It is about looks but not completely or wholly.  You can be Attracted to a person and their looks may or may not be the only thing completing that attraction. It could be that something in the way they walk, talk, their conversational style, charmingness or other things that have going for them that you connect with or find appealing. Basically attraction to me is a coupling of external and internal factors working together to make you want to be with a person– it’s not just based on ONE factor of the internal or external.

Let’s face reality, if you look at a person and cannot imagine intimacy with them, you cannot force that and shouldn’t. You have to be able to see yourself waking up every morning to that face, giving them oral sex, and having hot monkey sex with them on a regular basis. Can you picture that with said potential partner? NO? Keep it moving cause it almost never comes later. If you cannot see yourself romantically with someone, it’s best to avoid  if you want to have a healthy and happy quality relationship. BUT the caveat to that is, often times people are too overly particular about looks and there were things they could have compromised on and still have been attracted to the person but didn’t b/c they expected 90-100% perfection.

But if you are a reasonable and mature person,  If the external comes up a *little* short you have internal qualities that you will look to that can make the person more attractive. But, if a person has HIGH un realistic or too shallow expectations on external factors, they will often not find themselves in quality relationships. Maturity is KEY for a person to be able to see that attraction is not solely on a person’s looks although it may play a greater portion at first.

Similar interests/goals.

This is a huge problem (especially in dead marriages and LTR’s) that is hardly ever applied as a general intial rule of thumb after passing the physical attraciton stage – eople getting together and not being compatible in terms of their common goals and interests. These persons may have had solely physical attraction with nothing else and thought physical attraction alone would carry the relationship and/or marriage. NOT!  If you are one looking for ONS or just temporary flings, that stuff doesn’t matter. But if you are looking for LTR and/or marriage it matters GREATLY. Physical attraction is only an initial trigger on whether you want to move to the next step with that person. It should not be used as a measuring rod on whether the person will make a good partner over the long haul.

As those initial feel good infatuation feelings start to subside (it will in mostly all cases) the two people  in that relationship better have something else to look forward to in terms of each other and to keep the interest level high at all times. People need to start communicating more about what the expectations are for a relationship they are entering.

Is one person religious or spiritual and the other person not? Will this pose a problem later? Does one person want kids and the other doesn’t? Does one person want marriage and the other person doesn’t? Does one person smoke and the other person disgusted with smoking? Does one partner like to travel and the other not? Does one partner like outdoorsy activities and the other person doesn’t? Does one person like to bathe and the other doesn’t? Does one partner prefer living in hotter regions and the other in more colder regions? All these are important things that need to be discussed early and even before entering into a committed relationship. There are many other things that should be discussed but that covers just a couple basics. If you don’t have basic common goals and interests, consider yourself in a STR that will end once the infatuation period has died down.

Avoid Physical Nazis.

Physical Nazis should definitely be avoided for LTR’s or marriage b/c physical things don’t last forever over the long haul. People who are focused greatly on looks are better suited for STR’s and/or not serious relationships at all. That way they can continue the chase for the perfect looking partner at all times without hurting someone. Looks eventually fade and there are always better looking people. A person stuck on looks or who places high value on looks alone is a high risk  partner for LTR’s and marriage b/c of that. That is b/c they are typically never satisfied on a physical level. A person solely focused on looks will always see better looking people and feel they can replace their current mate with a better looking person.  They are constantly looking to upgrade. As soon as a better looking potential comes along, they are out the door if they have the ability to do so. It wouldn’t take much to tempt them into the arms of another person who was better looking than their current partner.  

On the flip side a person that places great emphasis on two pronged attraction (internal AND external) will most likely stick it out with a person who they are at least attracted to romantically but places greater importance on other things they bring to the table once they get to know and love them as a person with more qualities than their looks. That way if some better looking individual comes along, they will most likely not dump their current partner solely b/c they had an opportunity to upgrade and be with a better looking person who may or may not be compatible.  As long as their current partner is able to maintain some level of attractiveness to their standards, they will stick it out for the long haul. With that also comes the idea that people should always seek to maintain their level of attractiveness for their mate b/c the external is HALF of the equation.

Mental and emotional health.

Very important. Of course people cannot help if they are mentally ill or have severe emotional damage. But it’s not another person’s responsibility to have to take up that person’s issues and problems. If you are a relatively healthy person emotionally and mentally, being with a person with compromised emotional and mental health will pose a problem later down the road. Sometimes future problems that can become so severe they can ruin the emotionally and mentally sane person’s life. Water needs to seek its own level – especially in these cases.

A person with childhood issues, trauma (emotional) and/or mental diseases should not be with a person who doesn’t share those same problems. It’s a major burden on the healthier person. Healthy people need to seek healthy people for relationships. That’s the only way for things to work. Emotionally unhealthy or traumatized people need to be with others who have had the same kind of experiences and who have overcome them and who could understand them in some way. No one owes it to anyone to have to take on their burdens in a relationship. So I say avoid people with too many issues, drama, baggage, trauma, mental diseases, childhood problems they are still plagued by and not working through. All it will do is pose problems later down the line. It may sound cold but it is what it is. Too many times do I see emotionally healthy people ruined b/c they voluntarily involved themselves with a crazy or lunatic when they should have and could have been avoided altogether. If a person clearly involves themselves with an individual that has clear signs of crazy or emotional and mental instability,  then they get what they ask for.

I am sure there are some I left out so feel free to add. The point is, quality is about more than the external. If you say you want a QUALITY partner you better have a two pronged approach and not just one leaning on how hot they are. When we think about quality of things or when we make a purchase for a quality item, we expect it to last longer and hold up better b/c of its quality. But the cost is much higher to obtain a quality item and that quality item has to be taken care of and treated well for it to maintain its level of value.  The same needs to be applied in relationships. Quality is about lasting forever. It’s not fickle, shallow or cheap frills – if that is what you are looking for, look away from the relationship direction and focus on flings, hook ups, and one night stands. All of which are OK if that is what a person truly prefers and wants in their life. Just be honest with yourself though. I have much more respect for a person who lives the latter life than one who says they want  the former (quality relationship) and they are not doing the things or having the expectations for achieving it.

Marinate & Discuss :mrgreen:

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113 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Neecy
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 22:44:15

    Also on my header list is an article called “10 ways to avoid Mr./Mrs. Wrong”.

    Very good read!

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  2. Zorro
    Feb 02, 2012 @ 22:51:29

    What I look for in a cow moosie:

    #1: Warm-hearted and kind

    …and in no particular order…

    Playful disposition (likes to have fun and laugh like a little girl).
    Responsible/accountible for her behavior.
    Enthusiastic kisser.
    Knowledgable about investments, finance, real estate and insurance (’cause I have. no. clue)
    Good swimmer. I like to toss a girl into pools, and I don’t like cops to show up.
    HATES TO COOK! I love to cook, and I don’t like competition.
    Good backrubber.
    Big. Round. Hynie!
    Doesn’t talk this introvert moose to death. Gabbing is what your girlfriends are for.
    Enjoys foot massages, as I like to play with girls’ feet.
    Has had the umbilical cord with her mother cut long ago.
    Enjoys travel and fine cuisine.
    Does not watch Lifetime, Oprah or read crappy girl mags.
    Fan of Archer
    Did I mention a big round hynie?

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    • Neecy
      Feb 03, 2012 @ 09:22:50

      LOL I don’t think your list is asking too much at all. And I am POSITIVE any woman would love to hand over the cooking duties to a man that loves and prefers to do it – especially if her cooking skills suck (i aint sayin no names though).

      And define crappy girl mags? I am a magazine junkie so I love to read magazines. Not all of them are trash. Cosmo definitley crosses that fine line in being more trashy. But there are some really good ones I like to read.

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  3. Marellus
    Feb 03, 2012 @ 06:08:17

    😀

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  4. Omerta327
    Feb 03, 2012 @ 07:30:19

    Great post, Neece. A+. You nailed it.

    I find that that the toughest part is the last point – mental and emotional health. It seems like it’s getting harder and harder these days to find people that aren’t carrying some kind of emotional baggage around.

    And as I’ve said before, most times these problems aren’t apparent right off the bat – they take a while to surface. If a person keeps their eyes and ears open and pays attention they can learn to identify and avoid these people, but that’s not 100% fool-proof.

    And props on spelling ‘grandeur’ correctly. Someone’s got their dictionary closeby. 😎

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    • Neecy
      Feb 03, 2012 @ 09:20:44

      HA I love that applause vid LOL

      I’m not so sure its hard to qualify a person with mental issues. but then again i am a very intuitive and observant person so i tend to pick up on things verry verrry early. I can usually spot red flag early too. But you’re right, the average person may not and b/c crazy people can mask their craziness by being overly nice and pleasant it can be very hard to detect them.

      I think people need to start knowing what questions to ask people about themselves is a great start to kind of clue you in on someone’s potential mental health. Like what kind of family lifestyle and history they have, how they felt about past relationships, etc.

      And yes i am so proud I got granduer right – but I can only thank Spell check for catching it 😉

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  5. Marellus
    Feb 03, 2012 @ 11:02:42

    Neecy.

    What do you make of this ?

    i was 27-28 at the time, but i looked MUCH younger. on certain nights i noticed a woman would come in alone, take a seat, order a drink, sip at it (there were no cell phones then), look around, finish her drink, then leave. “that’s kind of odd.” i thought. look, i LOVE to people watch. and i know most women don’t go out alone. then, one night. a woman came in early 30′s, dressed nice, pretty; came in and ordered a drink and sat down. she looked around often and finally some guy walked up and shook her hand. he stayed there for about 2-3 minutes talking with her before she got up and sat at an empty table with him. they talked for about 10-15 minutes then…..they left. i noticed while talking he’d lean in and she’d laugh and place her hand on her chest. i was MESMERIZED. after they left i sat and thought about what i had just seen. i was blown away. the 2 of them didn’t know each other either, i KNEW that.

    so i waited and watched, and i noticed the following pattern.

    * 30′ish
    * comes in alone
    * sit by herself and no one meets up with her
    * orders and nurses a drink
    * scans the room frequently
    * leaves after one drink

    the next time a woman fitting the above came in, i waited and after she had scanned the room, i made eye contact and smiled. she smiled back. i got up and went to talk with her, “hi there….what’s your name.” that was it, that’s all it took. she entertained a conversation for 2-3 minutes and i suggested we “moved to a place where we can talk alone.” she agreed and we went to a table. i commented on her outfit. i’ve ALWAYS been a flirt. so escalating wasn’t a problem. when she was almost done with her drink, i said, “you better not have another one of those.” i think she said something along the lines of why not, and i said, “because this place is boring, let’s head back to my place…i have a great bottle of wine i brought back from italy.” now during our flirting i mentioned living in Italy for 3 years and showed her my proficiency in the language and talked about my cooking ability (DHV). i made her laugh and had IOI’s. she said, “hmmm, why not. never had wine from Sicily before.” we had talked maybe 20 minutes. 15 minutes later we were making out VERY heavily in my living room. 9am saturday morning she was showering and by 10:30 she was gone. NO NUMBER, just sex.

    Makes you think doesn’t it …

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    • Marellus
      Feb 03, 2012 @ 11:04:05

      Reply

    • Neecy
      Feb 03, 2012 @ 11:14:34

      Definitley sounds like women who are looking for sex and doing it in a very coyish kind of way. The hesitating witht he drink, looking around, dressed up, alone. I believe there are a lot of women who will go to bars and such alone to pick up men for sexual encounters. Especially if she is there alone and is scanning the place.

      Women who are in places like that alone and always looking around are signaling they want someone to come and approach and/or talk to them.

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    • MK
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 03:52:07

      I am not sure cooking ability for a man is DHV unless he is a famous chef.

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      • Neecy
        Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:14:49

        If he cooks well and enjoys it what does it matter? he’s being true to himself which is what a real man does – is remain true to himself. I think part of a man’s DHV is the fact he doesn’t define himself by everyone’s standards. If a man is comfortable in his shoes and skin and in what he does that makes him one that DHV. If he is a fake pretending and trying to act like he doesn’t enjoy certain things just to come off like he’s something he’s not then he’s not a real man. Just my opinion.

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        • n/a
          Feb 07, 2012 @ 00:16:02

          You didn’t need to end that comment with just my opinion, Neecy. The truth is not an opinion. 😉

          Every man here should read and understand this comment of Neecy’s. It says it all.–

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        • MK
          Feb 07, 2012 @ 04:04:48

          Good response Neecy I’d say YES BUT… with a big caveat.

          Something may be high value to anyone but a lot of activities will be to a majority of the opposite sex.

          Example: Some men who do nothing but play video games all day are super stars in Asia so they have high value there. Would those same men here have high value just because they are comfortable in their own skin?

          Clearly not thats why game comes about to try to generalize what is generally considered attractive/or unattractive. It is great for someone to be comfortable in their own shoes but it doesn’t cause attraction.

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          • Neecy
            Feb 07, 2012 @ 09:43:02

            I agree to a certain extent. But i think its not what a person does it show they do it and their confidence level. Part of being an “alpha” of sorts is a man feeling confisent in himself at all times no matter what. A real man can do whatever he enjoys and still be quite attractive to women. Its men who pretend and fake that lack DHV b/c they reek of insecurity and trying too hard IMO.

            What’s the difference between a professional male chef who loves and enjoys cooking and a regular Joe Schmoe who loves and enjoys cooking? If cooking were seen as a low value image for a man there would not be so many male chefs out there. I don’t think a man who cooks and enjoys cooking is lacking DHV. I believe that any man can do anything and based on his character is what makes him either lack DHV.

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            • MK
              Feb 07, 2012 @ 13:55:04

              What’s the difference between a professional male chef who loves and enjoys cooking and a regular Joe Schmoe who loves and enjoys cooking?

              The answer is DRUM ROLL…

              FAME. FAME is the #1 DHV in the game hierarchy.

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  6. Sophia
    Feb 04, 2012 @ 20:38:55

    During my parent’s time, and actually even now, marriages were arranged (not forced) by families because young people were not considered wise enough to know how to pick a suitable partner for themselves. The older I get, the more benefits I see to that system. It works in my culture because we’re a homogeneous society with similar values/outlooks. My grandfather pre-selected three men for his daughter (my mother), out of many that asked for her hand in marriage, based on their family backgrounds, education levels, religion and overall success. My mother picked my dad and they’re still going strong.

    I`m using somewhat similar criteria in looking for a suitable mate. Someone from a stable family and with a good relationship with his family. Had a strong male role model growing up. Educated. Casually religious or atheist, i.e. no fundamentalism of either kind. Professional or entrepreneur (in my dating experience that ranges from high school teacher to engineer to multimillionaire real estate developer). As I have never been married nor do I have children, I`d prefer that he have no children or ex-wives and that he want children. Personality-wise, I like a man with confidence, steadiness and a calm demeanour. I prefer my men not to talk too much 🙂 I am forgiving of looks although he cannot be too fat or too thin. I also don`t mind short men.

    In regards to interests, I don`t care. I figure sharing a life provides for enough commonalities. I don`t need to like watching sports and he doesn`t need to love hiking. However, there has to be respect for different interests and willingness to give each other space to pursue different interests, while still building and living a life together.

    My current paramour has a lot of what I`m looking for a mate. He ticks most of my requirements. I also think that I bring to the table everything that I`m asking for…with one exception. I am feeling somewhat not confident cause I`m currently unemployed and he is very, very rich.

    I know he mentioned how women in the past pursued him for his money and how their eyes light up when he tells them what he does for a living. I am worried, given my state of unemployment, that he might think I am a gold digger myself. Now, keep in mind that he initiated contact and pursued me relentlessly. I took a long time to accept his date and had placed him on the backburner until he stepped up his efforts.

    For someone who doesn`t want to gold diggers, he also keeps making comments about his status markers (his very expensive cars, his watches, his deals, his vacation homes, etc) which I find confusing.

    When he first came to pick me up, he told me to watch out for the make and model of his car (a vintage car). I don`t know crap about cars and asked him to tell me the colour of the car instead. He`s also asked me about how I`m surviving right now and if my family is helping me out. I answered politely but his question irritated me, even though he worded it diplomatically, cause I sure as hell wouldn`t need help from people outside my family and closest friends. Sigh, I wish I told him that.

    In any case, this issue is kinda weighing on me. It`s also dawning on me that he is still dealing with the aftermath of a very bad ltr breakup, even though it`s been at 1.5 yrs now. Emotional baggage. I definitely am not bringing that to the table.
    What to do?

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    • Neecy
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:11:24

      Sophia,

      I wouldn’t stress too much. Has he called you since the last time you mentioned that he went out of town for business and then you hadn’t heard from him?

      Obviously, you not having a job didn’t keep him from pursuing you. I would just wait it out and see what happens.

      Regarding arranged marriages. I guess as a Westerner that seems really crazy but makes sense since Westerners have the worse marriage stats of all cultures. But the Western culture is about freedom of choice so I am not sure how well that will go over especially with feminism. I also knew a couple of Indian girls whose parents had arranged marriages and they are still together.

      I think th efact that youa re not super picky about a mate you will be successful in either direction whether this dude pans out or not. So I wouldn’t aorry and I would stick it out.

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      • Sophia
        Feb 06, 2012 @ 13:20:54

        Hey Neecy

        Thanks. Yeah, he called and we spent some time together. It’s been a week again though, with no communication. I haven’t bothered contacting him this time around, although it was hard. Will simply wait and see.

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        • Neecy
          Feb 06, 2012 @ 19:38:45

          It seems like there is a lot of uncertainty b/c the both of you are still in that phase where neiher wants to come off as being too needy so its like “I’m not calling him first” an he is like “I am not gonna call her first”. *sigh*. That must be tough. But after a certain point, you guys should get past that if there is going ot be anything further. i htink that game is ok to play early onwhen getting to know someone, but once you have gotten past a certain point it should stop and you two should feel comfy in contacting and communicating with each other more frequently without hesitation. Don’t you think? How long has it been with you two seeing each other?

          It may be time for you to have the come to Jesus talk for closure to see where things are headed.

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  7. dannyfrom504
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 05:15:05

    Sophia-
    don’t push him. continue “bringing to the table” what you do. respect and nurture him. if he’s smart he’ll realize what he has in you.
    “Personality-wise, I like a man with confidence, steadiness and a calm demeanour. I prefer my men not to talk too much I am forgiving of looks although he cannot be too fat or too thin. I also don`t mind short men.”
    +2

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  8. theprivateman
    Feb 05, 2012 @ 13:12:27

    Hiya Neecy…

    I’ve only recently discovered your blog.

    Good things, indeed. Lots of words, but good things.

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    • Neecy
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:17:08

      Hey Private man,

      Yes you will find in this nest is a wordy birdy 😉 I can’t help it. I try to keep it short and sweet, but fail – oh wells!

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  9. n/a
    Feb 06, 2012 @ 00:15:28

    Neecy,

    It’s almost as if the blog suddenly died — what’s going on? Since I’m occupying my niche in the middle of the pacific, I’ll make my contribution in the silence and solitude I love. Just waves and a little wind in the palms at this time of the night.

    I feel you too must have a strong liking for being alone. Am I right about that? I’d love to read a long post (what other kind would it be) about how you feel living alone and why you’re not necessarily eager to give that up.

    It’s rare to encounter a woman who is able to attract men, but, nevertheless, chooses to remain solo. I might be wrong and you may inwardly detest your single state — but I don’t think you do.

    What you write is interesting, Neecy, but what you leave out is fascinating.–

    Goodnight kiddo.

    Like

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    • Firepower
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 07:10:08

      n/a
      Neecy,

      It’s almost as if the blog suddenly died — what’s going on?

      I noticed that too: Chalk it up to taking readers for granted, thus causing me to post less, leaving many readers wanting. Plus, sphia always has the knack to cast a pall of gloom over any proceedings, perceiving, like any kid, that the “goth art/death-forever aloooone” persona is cool.

      Not rly. But, for a seventeen year old, she does have a nice rack too

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    • Omerta327
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:23:23

      Yeah, things did kind of grind to a halt around here the last few days.

      And where’s the ubiquitous Liza anyway? Did she get snatched up by aliens or something?

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    • Neecy
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:24:13

      N/A

      Oh yeah brag on a Monday morning about how you are enjoying beautiful Hawaii!! 😡 Yeah i am hating right now. lol

      Well Its not so much I enjoy living or being alone but i am comfortable in that status until it changes. A lot of people (especially women) are not comfy in being alone b/c their whole worth depends on being in a relationship at al times. I see waay too many friends like this and they end up in dead relationship after dead relationship. One g/f has been living with her b/f for like 7 years and they just go throught he motions. She’s not really happy but she just doesn’t want to bother with trying to find someone mre compatible. My other friend moved in and married a guy but she’s not that happy either. So I don’t see the rush. i guess that works for some, but I just don’t have the patience for constant dead ends. The last guy i met was great but just a little too young and not really on the same level with the same goals. Instead of forcing that I’d rather just keep it moving. Others would just run with it until its inevitable end. i just don’t like wasting time.

      So what am I leaving out that you want me to write about?

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  10. Zorro
    Feb 06, 2012 @ 07:49:37

    Knowing your disdain for the neg, I was impelled to link this…just to elicit your opinion on the matter.

    http://thealphapersona.com/2012/02/06/basics-of-game-the-neg/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

    Incidentally, you are the ONLY human female I have ever ever ever ever ever negged in my life.

    Just because.
    *muah*

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    • Neecy
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 08:29:14

      I never said I had a disdain for Negs. I have a disdain for men who don’t know how to neg and who sees negs as a way to literally insult and put women down vs. men who know how to actually use the neg to create a fun and playful interaction.

      And you negged me a few times before – damn you forgot that quickly!

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      • Zorro
        Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:09:32

        I said (wrote) that you were the only only only only only women ever ever ever ever ever that I negged.

        How is that an insult. I LOVE you, girl!!!!!

        muah
        muah
        muah

        I don’t forget anything.

        Unless it’s been a heavy night at the bar. Then the door’s open.

        *muah*

        Love. It’s all about love and the togetherness of it all.

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      • Alpha
        Feb 06, 2012 @ 20:17:29

        Hey, thanks for the link.

        Also, Neecy, you should like that post then! Just doin my part to make sure that guys don’t walk around saying things like, “Hey girl, that’s an ugly flower pattern that makes you look frumpy as hell.”

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        • Neecy
          Feb 06, 2012 @ 20:36:10

          HAHA! Thanks Alpha, your services are greatly appreciated! 😀 Lord knows so many guys need to understand what a true neg is vs. an insult.

          Like

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    • Sophia
      Feb 07, 2012 @ 16:47:03

      Isn’t a neg essentially a re-packaged form of teasing? Teasing sounds nice, but neg sounds…well….negative.

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      • Alpha
        Feb 07, 2012 @ 17:19:07

        A neg is a “negative social judgment” meant to show the girl that you aren’t impressed by her. The example I give is “That’s a pretty dress! I think I saw another girl here wearing it too.” – You say it in a harmless enough fashion, but ti flips the social values around.

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        • Sophia
          Feb 07, 2012 @ 22:11:07

          Alpha, can the “neg” be flipped around so that a woman does it to a man? Would it achieve a similar effect or are we dealing with different dynamics here?.
          I know of one girl who is has a very playful teasing manner about her that the guys just eat up. Any other woman that tries what she does would come off as kinda bitchy.

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  11. Zorro
    Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:17:40

    I meant “like”.

    Like

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  12. Marellus
    Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:37:20

    O/T : Apparently this SA Group is quite popular in the US.

    Die Antwoord is pronounced : “Dee” + “Unt” + “Voort”

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    • Marellus
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:43:14

      Like

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    • Neecy
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:49:04

      UHM OK. LOL I have never heard of this person and THANK GOD. And that chicks wig and voice is giving me the heebie jeebies!!!

      There is never a day without amusement here at the nest. LOL

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    • Omerta327
      Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:49:35

      😯 What the f**k was that??!!??

      And what’s up w/ the dude with progeria? Is he in the group or are they just exploiting him?

      I gotta go listen to some old Van Halen now to cleanse my soul.

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      • Neecy
        Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:50:59

        LOLLLLLL!!!

        That was definitley strrrange. Like I said, that is 5+ minutes of my life I will NEVER get back.

        Thanks Marellus!!! 😡

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        • Marellus
          Feb 06, 2012 @ 14:19:06

          … It was my pleasure Neecy …

          Pink Floyd Omerta ? When it comes to music of that era, I’m more enamoured with Led Zeppelin myself. “Ten Years Gone” is one of the best songs ever made.

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          • Zorro
            Feb 06, 2012 @ 18:42:41

            Okay…so…I’m going back about 35 years now…

            I’m in college, and LED ZEPPELIN has just announced they are going on tour for In Through The Out Door, and I’m pissing in my pants.

            So I’m having dinner with my parents and they ask me what’s up and I tell them I need to get LED ZEPPELIN tickets or I will die of kidney failure.

            “Tickets?” my Dad says. “You want tickets that’s no problem. I was in the Army with a guy who now owns the bus depot in town and that’s where the Ticketron outlet is. I’ll call Joe and tell him to reserve you 6 FRONT ROW tickets for Montreal and you’ll see LED ZEPPELIN so close to Robert Plant’s balls you can tell what he had the breakfast.”

            And it was then that I realized my Dad was a God.

            And then Bonzo died.

            And my kidney failed.

            And then life had little meaning to me.

            But, years later, Pink Floyd toured for the Division Bell and I saw them TWICE and my kidney came back.

            True story.

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          • Omerta327
            Feb 07, 2012 @ 07:24:49

            Oh, man, Led Zeppelin is my all-time favorite band. Their music had such a profound impact on me as a teen it’s crazy. “Ten Years Gone” is one of their best songs. They’ve got a few others I like better, tho.

            I like Pink Floyd a lot, too. Just heard “Echoes” the other day – that song is such a trip.

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      • Zorro
        Feb 06, 2012 @ 18:46:41

        I saw the Van Halen reunion tour in I think 2005 and it was AWESOME!!! Between Dave and Sammy, I like Sammy, but Dave is the shit.

        I saw the Dave vs Sammy tour and they were both epic.

        VH is the ultimate American rock band (unless Aerosmith is on stage…and then it’s anybody’s call).

        Like

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  13. Omerta327
    Feb 07, 2012 @ 10:32:08

    Hey, Neece, when are we gonna start seeing some video blog posts?

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    • Zorro
      Feb 12, 2012 @ 05:54:26

      I wanna see her strip!

      In other news…when I saw Van Halen (twice!!!!!) I gotta tell ya, Alex Van Halen can assassinate the drumskins like nobody knows! Apart from the stupid bass solo, the drum solo is one of the dumbest things in a rock show. But when Alex does his drum solo, it’s EPIC! That man can DESTROY a set of drums! It’s funny that Alex’s first instrument was a guitar and Eddie’s was drums, and then they switched. Seriously, Alex VH can play drums like Eddie plays guitar.

      Mean mofo!!!

      That is all.

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  14. Marellus
    Feb 08, 2012 @ 04:09:19

    I think teasing is univesal Sophia. I remember an incident at university where I sat next to quite an opinionated little redhead. And this happened in some class where the prof was droning on about fractals and the imaginary plane.

    So there I sat, trying to remain awake, when I got seized by AN IDEA … which I just had to share with the opinionated little redhead. And my note to her read thus :

    In this world there are 3 kinds of people : Those who make history. Those who see history. And those that are history !!!

    And below this profound philosophical she wrote back :

    Then rather make history like me, than be history like you

    I took it very well. Really. For about 2 minutes. And then I wrote back :

    I would rather BE history when you MAKE history !!!

    It was the start of a friendship, and yes, it could have led to something more, but I misread the signals … I was stupid.

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    • Sophia
      Feb 08, 2012 @ 20:18:39

      The red head story is nice 🙂 You certainly got inspired with some philosophical musings.
      I miss those days of passing notes. So innocent, those days.
      Has anyone ever caught passing notes by their teacher?. I think I would have died…I was very much a goody two shoes.

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  15. Neecy
    Feb 08, 2012 @ 05:25:51

    Hey everyone I’m in flight all day today, so please forgive my absence. I’ll be in and out posting for the next couple days as I am on a business trip rest of week.

    Like

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  16. Neecy
    Feb 09, 2012 @ 07:06:35

    Hi everyone! I’m in cold ass new jersey!! Can’t wait to get back to sunny California! I’ll have a new post up Sunday or Monday for sure 😀

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    • Omerta327
      Feb 09, 2012 @ 07:59:19

      Air gets a little chilly and Cali girl can’t hack it.
      Shocker.

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      • Neecy
        Feb 10, 2012 @ 20:11:39

        Heey I cant help that I’m a spoiled la valley girl used to 80 degree whether!

        But it wasn’t soo soo bad. We were inside for most of the day anyway. Plus I don’t mind a little snow as long as it doesn’t get icy and slushy.

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    • MK
      Feb 10, 2012 @ 17:48:39

      NJ try not to get durty haha

      Where at in NJ north or south?

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      • Neecy
        Feb 10, 2012 @ 19:56:12

        I was in north jersey I think? Now I’m in Dallas about to board my Los Angeles flight. Was in the plane with Khloe karsashian Ha! She lives in Dallas now I guess since her hubby plays for dallas. My boss sat next to her in first class.

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        • MK
          Feb 12, 2012 @ 09:36:57

          I always look around the plane hoping to see little kids etc.. May be a little more noisy but makes me feel better the plane will get there.

          Now if I was on the same plane as a Kardashian I’d be teladialing my priest for a last minute confession just to make sure I’m good because I’m sure god would just view it as necessary collateral damage…

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  17. Mark Slater
    Feb 11, 2012 @ 15:25:35

    Does anyone else believe Neecy’s in love with her boss?

    Like

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  18. Zorro
    Feb 12, 2012 @ 11:12:58

    Yup. The girl be-witched.

    Like

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  19. Neecy
    Feb 13, 2012 @ 14:16:52

    Hold tight my dahlings I’ve been crrrrrazy busy!
    I’m finishing up new post this evening

    Muah love yas!

    Like

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  20. Firepower
    Feb 15, 2012 @ 09:07:14

    how will i know
    if she rilly luvs me?
    she tries to post
    but she’s too shy
    – cant tweet!

    Like

    Reply

  21. Trackback: Compatibility « Media Meme

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