OH YES. Neecy is about to “go there” on this one. 😉
LOOK UP IN THE SKY!!!
Its a bird….
Its a plane…
CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE WHITE KNIGHTING BLACK WOMAN BRIGADE CALVARY!!!!!
OK that was a tongue twister!.
Breathe Neecy Breeeeeeath!!!
You are prolly saying W.T.H????????
WOMEN WHO WHITE KNIGHT FOR OTHER WOMEN, MEN,…….
“how can a woman be a WHite Knight”. Uuuh I thought the same thing, but then I examined the disturbing behaviors of so many American Black women and have come to fully realize that Black American women looooove White Knighting for people and things that aren’t doing jack to help or reciprocate towards her or Black women in general.
I am sure everyone at some point has come across a person or people like this.
In the PUA communities, “White Knights” in a sense are “those men who jump at the chance to defend the virtue of women at every opportunity, no matter if the defense is warranted” (Heartiste) . Now of course I believe that men should defend and protect women. And I have a great admiration for men who are not afraid to stand up for women and defend them. We need more men like this.
HOWEVER, WHite Knighting becomes problematic in my eyes, when its borderline supplicating to women. When these same men are just overextending themselves to women and they can’t see often times there is a fine line between a woman appreciating a man who defends and protects women and one where women EXPECT him to b/c he is looking for a puppy dog pat on the head and/or recognition or to receive positive reinforcement from women.
So where am I going with this?
The same thing applies to women or people in general who do this.
Have you ever known of or seen a person or group who everyone shits on and looks down on. The person or group that no one gives two shits about until they need something from that person or group? The person who wouldn’t get spit on if they were on fire?
Yet that person/group does everything in their power to fight, defend everyone else’s honor – even when those people have more than enough resources, people and things in place to support, uplift and protect them? Even when those same people have yet to return the favor?
AMERICAN BLACK WOMEN & THE DIRE NEED TO BE A MAMMY
The term MAMMY has taken on a kind of personality trait and “type” of its own that goes beyond the original definitions.
Its about a way of thinking a mentality – one that Black women have taken on proudly to their own detriment.
This is a maaajor problem I see with Black American women. The MAMMY its been attributed to Black American women both literally and figuratively since slavery. THE MAMMY (or what I like to sometimes call – everyone’s MULE).
The MAMMY in the definition sense that you would find on the internet under descriptions was a large rotund non-threatening ASEXUAL Black woman who was often a maid or servant who serviced White families and nursed the White children of their plantation owners during slavery.
If you have ever seen Gone with the Wind, Hattie McDaniels who played the maid (and won an Oscar for it LOL) was a Mammy. When you look at her in comparison to Scarlette who was thin, feminine and well protected, Hattie was the stark difference. But Good ole Hattie was there to protect the innocent virtuous feminine sexually appealing Vivian. Black women were often portrayed in this light as to not be a threat to WHite womanhood. They needed to present Black women as less of a feminine beauty/ideal that did not need protection and more as the protector (which is a masculine trait).
Nowadays you can see these kinds of Black women in a variety of media like commercial, TV shows and movies. MADEA is the first and most prevalent Mammy I can think of today.
The Mammy character – She is usually paired next to the feminine sexually attractive and thin Non Black woman and is usually the ASEXUAL side kick friend, always looking to “nurse” her hot friends “man issues”. Or she is just generally there to help and nurse everyone else’s needs and help them fix their problems, is always offering up her shoulder to cry on, puts her burdens and “needs” and problems aside just to address and help others.
She will even over extend herself to others who use her back as a stepping stool to get what they want even if that means knocking her down and getting what they need and want at HER expense. What does the MAMMY do? She smiles, takes it and finds more ways to supplicate to the very people who are stepping on her and shitting on her.
You also see these kinds of Black women in the Black community. Doing all kinds of things for Black men and Black people yet not getting her needs, desires met nor her issues resolved with the same help. But she’s OK with that!
Usually this woman has no support system of her own, despite being everyone else’s support system. The same people she is extending herself to are NOT returning that same shoulder or “nursing” her needs or they are benefiting at HER EXPENSE. The same people who look to her when they need a boost or help are not the same people she can look to, to help her.
THE MAMMY, WHITE KNIGHT, & FRIEND ZONED DUDE ARE ALL IN ONE
When I think of a MAMMY I think similarly of a overly supplicating WHite Knight kind of male or a male that has eagerly accepted his place in the “friend zone” of women who only see him as “the help” and shoulder to cry on in their times of need.
The guy that has happily resigned himself to the friend zone he’s used for the benefit of meeting that woman’s desires and needs but his needs hardly are ever met except that he gets to stay in the company of the girl he likes but nothing more.
I see and think of a Black woman kind of the same who was/is typically all to eager to serve the needs of others (especially Black males) even though she is not receiving anything in return for her “graciousness” concern and help.
HERE I COME TO SAVE YOU!!!!!!!
A Mammy wants to save everyone BUT HERSELF!
A mammy feels its her God given duty to simply extend herself to everyone even without reciprocation. We see this kind of mentality all too often with American Black women and its done nothing to improve the lives or suffering of Black women.
Instead what we DO typically see are these same kinds of Black women carrying burdens and loads alone and on their own without the support or help from the the very people they are over extending themselves to and for.
kinda like the White Knight who gets used to “help” and defend a woman who then turns around and rewards a different kind of male with her affections and romantic gestures (usually a male quite opposite from the supplicating WHite Knight – i.e. the BAD BOY).
Black Mammified women know all to well about this too. They work overtime to help and support & WHITE KNIGHT Black men, who then step over them to get to the nearest feminine Non Black chick who doesn’t and didn’t do anything to help him (and is not expected to). Yet the overworked Black MAMMY was all too happy to mule herself for these Black men only to get kicked to the curb for women who didn’t have to do anything but demand & EXPECT to be treated like she is royalty. LOL Funny how that works huh? A woman who expects to be treated like a Queen often receives that, while the woman who accepts being the mule gets treated as such.
ARE BLACK WOMEN JUST BRAINWASHED, CRAZY, STUPID?
Too many Black women are just mentally branded to give a damn about people who don’t give a damn about them. Not only that, going so far as to put her own issues and the issues affecting Black women on the back burner just to be captain save a ______ (you fill in the blank) to people who do not need her rescuing b/c they have people and resources in place to help them in times of need.
Instead of these women devoting their time and energy and resources to helping those like them or other Black women who NEED them, they’d rather keep chasing after those who only see them as a resource for their needs and nothing more.
You see when you are a person that is always giving to people and things that don’t care to give back, YOU lose out. because many people will often take what they can get from those all too eager to give it without some kind of demand for reciprocation. That’s the nasty part of human nature.
We have explored this reciprocation concept before at the NEST. And I am a HUUUGE fan of it. Reciprocation and demanding of such is NOT a selfish act. Every human being has a right to want, desire and demand in some cases reciprocation for their actions.
Men who allow themselves to stay in the friend zone and who offer up their ample resources, time, and energy to women who have NO INTENT on being with them romantically are male MAMMIES. These men offer their shoulders as crying havens for women, they are usually giving the time and resources that other men are unwilling to give to these women (yet these other non friend zoned men are reaping some kind of benefit from the woman be it romantically in some fashion).
SAME SHIT different situation.
Now I feel I need to make a disclaimer here:
In many instances, one gives and helps others and extends themselves to others who cannot help themselves and surely they do not and SHOULD NOT demand something in return. THIS is not the kinds of situations I ma talking of.
As a Christian woman I believe that it is *IMPORTANT* to be giving, helpful to others and concerned for others in need. I believe that part of being a good person means that you often have to extend yourself, your resources or whatever you can to help the less fortunate or those in need of your help without demanding, expecting or looking for something in return other than the warm and fuzzy feelings that come with helping someone less off than yourself.
NOW that I’ve got that important disclaimer out the way that I am not some cold hearted SELFISH Biatch only concerned with what i can get back from giving, I have to say there are too many cases where people FOOLISHLY and STUPIDLY continue give of themselves, their resources, time and energy to people and things that DO NOT NEED IT, and would never extend those same things back even when they can.
IT IS STUPID (for lack of a better word), when a person or group continues to extend themselves and help others who don’t really need it and who NEVER return the favor., especially when they have issues and burdens and obstacles of their own they need to be focusing on and putting their energies towards.
How can you help someone else when you need to help yourself?? Its like hopping over the fence to clean up your neighbors trash in their yard, when you got a boatload of trash scattered around your yard that needs tending too.
Black women are probably the most guilty of this kind of behavior and we see the results it has garnered for African American women. NADA but pain, suffering and being walked over!
When I look at other races of women, I see women who are all too happy to look out for NUMERO UNO and those like them. Its HUMAN NATURE for people to want to protect their best interests FIRST and FOREMOST before extending themselves to others (especially those in competition or who have a conflict of interest).
Would a corporation survive if that corporation was constantly looking to help build up their competitors instead of taking their resources and energies and putting it towards their own corporation to make it strong and self-sufficient? HECK NO! The same applies to human beings.
In essence, most women in some fashion can support and stand by and uplift each other, but the core desire is to always make sure SELF and those like self are benefiting before others receive. The goal is to understand that before you can help someone else, you need to have your stuff in order as much as possible.
Is this wrong? NOPE! I believe in the survival of the fittest wholeheartedly. I believe that sometimes people have to be concerned with uplifting and fixing themselves and supporting those like them or those who align with them as allies before they start extending to others who may be of a conflict of interest or who simply are not going to benefit them in any way.
Black women have a lot of issues affecting us worldwide. Poverty, suffering, abuse, mental and emotional issues. These issues are not just unique to Black women, but does affect Black women disproportionately compared to others races.
Unlike most other races of women dealing with these issues, there are typically things in place to HELP these women and girls. While all women and girls cannot be saved, most Non Black communities (especially Western WHite communities) put things in place to ensure that their women and children get what they need.
Black communities (at least in America) do not offer these same things for their women or children. Maybe b/c Black women are too busy trying to prove how they can take on everyone else’s problems, fights and issues to be concerned with their own?
But notice WHite American women for the most part have many things and people in place to defend her honor and to protect her. Most Black American women don’t. As the saying goes “no calvary is coming to save the Black woman”. So what does that mean?
That means that if you are a BW with half a brain with cells in it, that you are on your own fro the most part and yourself and other Black women need to make efforts to create these protections and such for Black women SINCE NO ONE ELSE IS DOING OR WANTS TO DO IT.
This is not a post to make you feel sorry for Black women. This is a post to point out the reality that Black women do not and cannot afford to defend and keep over extending themselves to people ad things that are NOT RETURNING the favor. Because all the issues facing Black women will continue to build and pile while we are out WHITE KNIGHTING for groups and people who already have things in place to help themselves.
Many young Black girls are full of low self esteem b/c hey are constantly being sent messages verbally and non verbally that they are only valuable if they are lighter skinned or closer looking to Non Black women. They further see this with the kinds of women that Black males typically choose as their long term mates and wives or just as their desires physically. No Black woman CAN CHANGE what Black men do and like.
Instead of Black women working to help build a better and more self loving image so that young Black girls can love themselves, feel worthy and embrace who they are (like most other races of women do), many BW would rather continue to support and shove their heads up the butt cracks of the very Black males (and other races of women who benefit at the expense of Black women) who walk over them and basically tell them they are “not good enough”.
Instead of working on things to increase the positive reinforcement of Black girls beneath them, telling them they should expand their dating pool to other races of men who appreciate them, see themselves AS THAEY ARE as beautiful and worthy, Black women are out freedom fighting for women, men and people who DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM. Yet who is focusing on the Black women and girls who needs help? NO ONE.
So you are asking “Neecy what and where in the hell did this long winded rant come from?”
Well. I have always taken issue with Mammified Black women. But an incident today just reinforced why I feel Black women are much slower to get ahead of our issues compared to other women. B/C Black women are too busy trying to save everyone else but themselves, yet everyone else is trying to save themselves FIRST.
There seems to be this idea that it is my duty as a Black woman to care about NONSENSE like some rapper saying he “F*&&^&%” some athlete’s former groupie Latina wife. UHM why is this even newsworthy??
Black women have been publicly slandered by Black men, athletes, rappers, gerbils and you name it, yet no one feels the need to come to our defense.
SO apparently some former “groupie” who messed with Lil Wayne (yes the rapper) is now married with kids to a Miami Basketball player. Recently LIL Wayne for whatever reason was escorted from a Miami Heat and Lakers game and he took that as having been banned by the NBA by Miami Heat b/c he was rooting for the Lakers at a Miami Heat home game. As a result, he in true dumb rapper fashion cursed many of the players on the Miami Heat as well as the NBA. He also took it upon himself to curse and say he “FU%%%^$%^$” one of the Miami Heat’s wife.
Said wife was once I guess a groupie who ran in circles where she was obviously involved with some famous men like Lil Wayne. I have no idea NOR DO I CARE about what his and her past is, but nonetheless he put her on blast simply b/c she was married to a Miami Heat player and he had a history with her. SO it went like this:
LIL WAYNE: “If you’re wondering why you didn’t see me at the All Star Game. It’s because I was banned from attending all NBA events. The Miami Heat got me banned. F*** NBA! F*** NBA! F*** Lebron! F*** SheWade! F*** Chris Bosh! And I F***ed Chris Bosh wife!”
Ok. Was it tacky for him to say this? YES. IMMATURE? YES. STUPID and CHILDISH? Absolutely. SURPRISING? NOT!
I mean what do you expect from a rapper that makes his living demeaning women?
The post was “SUPPOSED” to be about why people do not feel the need to stand up and defend women like her who have “bad reps” b/c she was being dragged through the mud by people saying she was a low class groupie who lucked up and married some basketball player. yada yada.
So some of us expressed very little concern or care about this situation b/c, well we feel it is….just STOOPI…. not worth our time or energy to care??
The minute some Non Black woman draws the ire of some lunatic dumb rapper, all of us Black women have to come running out with our soldier uniforms, AUnt Jemima scarves, WHite Knight capes and galloping on our horses like a calvary to rescue this “poor helpless” Non Black woman and her name?
A woman that has a husband, family and PLLLLLENTY of resources to protect her and help her fight against her “attacker” in a court of law against slander? And b/c I refuse to exert any energy towards this NONSENSE I simply do not care “b/c she is not Black”?
Could it be more about me not caring b/c she is not really fkn suffering? Or because mostly all celeb women of some sort have been trashed publicly even if they do have clean reputations? Why is this chick so special that I need to break out the picket signs, book an immediate trip to Miami and walk the picket line to defend her honor and name against LIL WAYNE?
She lives a lifestyle that the majority of population and women will never live or can only dream of. She is well connected and protected. Even against stupid rappers like Lil Wayne. She has the resources, time and money to get good attorneys to go after Lil Wayne for slander.
but Lil ole me is supposed to lose sleep over this?
But the real point is, the author and other posters felt that we as women need to “CARE” about the fact that he said this about her. Granted, she should not have been brought into his tirade b/c the only connection she has to the incident is she happens to be married to a Miami Heat Player names Chris Bosh. Also, apparently she has had some kind of sexual or romantic interactions with Lil Wayne in her past non married single days when she was on the scene.
But Why do I need to give a flying watoosie about this nonsense?!
Instead we have a blog full of “white Knight/Captain save a hoe” regular ole Black women with not even a 1/4 of the resources or lifestyle Mrs. Bosh is enjoying, foaming at the mouth about why we need to stand up for her against this “atrocity” called Lil Wayne.
LIL Wayne has been disrespecting women for damn near a decade now. Mainly Black women.
Now some “poor” rich Latina who is married to a wealthy basketball player needs us Black women to come and defend her name and honor, when Black women can’t even defend their damn selves from public floggings and slanders against our womanhood??
is Mrs. Bosh out there picketing on behalf of Black women with all the rappers, athletes, actors and such who have made nasty remarks about the WHOLE entire group of Black women? NOOOOO.
So, just b/c a few of us did not want to tack onto this nonsense defending a woman who certainly doesn’t need it and who is not suffering based on anything LIl Wayne has said, then “we are hating on her b/c she is a light skinned Latina” “We are hating on her b/c of her past as a groupie” “we don’t care b/c she is not Black”.
These are the kind of asinine discussions that keep Black women from moving forward. There are more important issues to worry about than some former groupie now married and living the life of luxury with her new husband and two children, being called out by some dumb rapper who looks like a Gremlin!
How about women and girls who are really suffering and they do not have the resources, TIME, nor money to stand up and defend themselves?
This is what I mean about Black women just concerning themselves with people and things that do not care nor concern themselves with us. Her BLACK HUSBAND & ATTORNEYS are the only people who should be concerned with defending her. Not a bunch of random Black women on a blog.
And to top it off, this woman and her husband are not even giving attention to this stupidity themselves! They have chosen to take the high road and ignore Wayne’s stupidity. Yet we got a bunch of Black women MORE upset about what happened to her than she is about what happened to her. LOL
This has got to stop. Black women need to understand that certain things and people do not need us. We need to help women and others who NEED IT. We need to invest any energies in ourselves and others (not like ourselves) who are TRULY suffering and need our help. Not people who already have things and people in place to defend their honor, name and life.
WTH is this woman going to gain by me and a bunch of random regular BW standing up for her?
This is yet another case of Black mammying gone wild!