DO YOU WANT TO BE A POOR MAN’S VERSION OF SOMEONE ELSE?

WANNA GO NOWHERE FAST? Trying to get in where you don’t fit in will certainly help you get there!

A WHITE MAN has it figured out, now all we gotta do is get BLACK WOMEN to figure it out:

“Anyway, my opinion on black women are they need to play to their strengths…….

However as in most things they want what they don’t have so they try to compete with white women on their turf with straightened hair and fair features. When they do that of course they are going to lose…….

I have personal experience in playing to your strengths. I have really really fair skin, hair and features. I used to have my hair cut in the Roman way because everyone else did and that was what you were supposed to whether you liked it or not. Well, I grew my hair in a stylized longish way and I get way more positive attention along with criticism for it. I like the best though. Longish hair on northern euro I believe is the most fitting. I emphasized my feminine features because I’m at a disadvantage when trying to play the hard faced masculine even though it’s more widely accepted as being better. I own my niche of fair skin/features and while tall dark and handsome is the absolute best to a wide audience, I’m catering to my market.”

BAM!!

 

BOOYAH!!

 

BADDA BING!!

 

BINGO!!!

 

THERE IT IS!!!

 

YOU BETTA PREACH!!!

HALELUJAH!!!

 

LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN!!

 

WELLLLLL!!!

 

AMEN MY BRUTHA!!!

 

YOU BETTA SHUT YO MOUTH!!!

 

TELL THE TRUTH TO SHAME THE DEVIL!!!

 

Need I say more?

*who says you can’t find some gems on a Pick Up Artist site???*

This post I found was in a discussion about that Santoshi Kanawazi study that says Black women were least attractive. yeah you know that “scientific study” that sampled like 6 White people in Europe???? That study that was so scientifically profound that his ass got fired from his post at the university?  Yeah that joke, i mean one….

Anyway,

Why is it so hard for Black Women to figure this out? You cannot win trying to play on another woman’s turf. You can only win by taking what you have and maximizing the strengths of that.

It doesn’t matter what is MOST desirable. Who wants to be a poor man’s version of someone else? Not everyone likes the same thing. The best way to win in the sexual mating game is to ENHANCE your strengths and uniqueness so that you can find your target or “niche” market that wants, desires, and likes what YOU have and not what everyone else has.

This is where Black women will keep hitting a brick wall if they don’t just GET IT. This dude has figured it out. He knows he is not the “conventional” standard when it comes to men. In fact, his features and such are deemed “more feminine” than the average man who is celebrated for having more masculine features like being tall and dark and handsome. He has understood that by trying too damn hard to get in where he doesn’t fit in (fighting against his more natural feminine features and working hard  to look more masculine), that he was getting nowhere fast.

So what did he do? he said “EFF IT, Imma do ME” and see what results that garner. And he discovered an epiphany! He actually has a little niche market that loves them some him!

In the meantime he probably spends less time and energy forcing something that isn’t natural, and more time to simply enhance what it is he already has and making it more appealing to HIS TARGET NICHE MARKET of women who loves them some him, loves  them some blonde blue eyed straight nosed fair skinned long haired surfer looking dude name TAD (I don’t know his name but does’t TAD sound like some long hair blonde blue eyed fair skinned dude?) hee hee

YOU CAN MIMICK AND GET A DOGGY TREAT & BONE TOSSED YOUR WAY – BUT IS THAT REALLY A PRIZE?

Yeah yeah society may throw a Black woman a bone, who has mimicked almost everything aesthetically White womanish or other acceptable celebrated racial female categories, but in the end she loses.

She loses b/c she will never get credit for really standing on her own Black beauty, but that she got a pass b/c she mimics and plays up another woman’s (of the  dominant bunch) features and gets a doggy treat/bone thrown her way.

This is what Black women do not understand. Its okay to play around with your looks and to try different things. I do it. I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove make up! I lighten and darken my hair. But I’m not afraid to be seen as who I am naturally and what makes my features unique. I’m not afraid of uplaying things that make me stand out as a woman and Black woman be it my hair or skin.

This is not what I am really talking about. I’m talking about this pathology of Black women believing that they are more beautiful and worthy when they are trying to look furthest from what they are and more closely to another race of woman.

As the writer said: Black women lose when they try to compete with other races of women on their own turf.  HE is so right! Just as right as he was that he was losing trying to play up features he didn’t have naturally and trying to compete with more masculine looking men. He realized his surfer dude looks may not beat out Ken doll, but its enough to get him noticed and loved by those who want TAD and not KEN.

Now I know the atypical response from Black women in denial about this:

“White women get butt implants, TAN, and get lip injections”.

But really ask yourself if these women are trying to look BLACKER b/c they deem some overall societal / economical or favorable benefit in the sexual market place to mimicking the beauty of Black women??

Really really ask yourself this question. Because until the day I see White women in DROVES walking around with big afros, braided ethnic mostly Black hair styles, and making OBVIOUS attempts to look more Black, I’m not going with that idea. There is no real “social” benefit for a White or Non Black woman to want to appear more “Blacker looking” to enhance her career or beauty status.

This is not saying b/c Black women are not beautiful enough to be mimicked, it just says there is no real economic or social benefit to mimicking a Black woman’s looks since the dominant culture rules the roost when it comes to what is considered a “standard” in beauty ideals. And WHITE has always been that standard that most races of women have sought to mimic simply for some kind of overall gain, be it career, social, or even economic advantages. OTOH, there are advantages (very little in the overall grand scheme of things, but advantages nonetheless) to Black women and other races of women trying to run behind DOMINANT standards of beauty where they don’t really fit and have to work overtime to mimic.

Let’s just start calling a spade and spade and stop with the talking around the truth.

Black women will start being more appreciated, adored and less insecure about their place on the “beauty hierarchy” once they stop playing the game and just start being what it is naturally that we are supposed to be. Once we start playing around with our uniqueness and using it to our advantage, the same way a White woman does with her own uniqueness.

Every race of woman has unique advantages that can be uplayed for their benefits without completely trying to cross over. White women have the eye and hair color. Asian / Indian women have the long silky dark hair, Black women have the beautiful variety of skin tones, full feminine round features, and unique curves. I can go on.

Most Black women are not born with hair of silk like the average WHite or Asian or Indian woman. THAT’S FINE! Our hair and features may not be the same but there is so much room to enhance what we have naturally to stand out amongst the crowd and not have that pressure anymore of trying to compete on someone else’s turf and playing second fiddle to women who do not have to do much to look like who they are.

I’m not saying you have to walk around with an Angela Davis afro all day everyday. But if deep down somewhere you feel a little OR A LOT of shame and disgust when you look at all of the things that make you different looking from other races of women, to the point you will never be caught dead LOOKING like yourself, then maybe its time to re-evaluate your thought process and ask yourself why you feel this way.

When you have to work to change yourself to look like someone else, its WORK! When you are already working with what you have it takes less effort and energy to maintain and play keep up.

I GET IT.

OK. I’M gonna throw a itty bitty doggy bone to my sistahs here. Black women are under a great deal of pressure to uphold standard beauty ideals b/c of the society we live in that rewards the women closest to the ideal.  But ask yourself who are you doing it for and what are really the end results of this garnering for Black women or yourself in general?

I get that so many Black women feel the best way to compete is to   work hard and as closely as possible to be as close to the ideal as possible. Because lets face it there are some little consolation prizes to be won when doing this. I see it.

But I think that’s the wrong approach. I feel Black women should not be seeking to compete with dominate culture beauty ideals b/c YOU WILL NOT WIN as long as there are a billion Non Black women on earth walking around and rolling out of bed being & looking like THEMSELVES with little to no effort.

You will and can only win in YOUR MARKET. The reality Black women do not want to face in the global world is, that we have a distinct unique situation  that requires a different approach when it comes to loving and accepting ourselves and enhancing and celebrating our uniqueness. because NO ONE ELSE WILL! We do not have a calvary of men, groups, societies or culture that is going to place Black beauty on a pedestal and celebrate it whether we do it or not. WHITE WOMEN DO.

The problem is for some Black women this is not only soul crushing b/c of the emotional and physical and FINANCIAL toll it takes to play keep up and maintain, but its like a domino affect that eventually pushes her own Black beauty further beneath the surface when she should be taking those things and enhancing the strengths of her own beauty.

They say “when in Rome do as the Romans”. Uuuuh. M’kay I’ll go with that for certain things. I like to play nicely in the sandbox and get along. But certain things are non negotiable. And A Black woman’s identity in her beauty should be solid and un yielding b/c you cannot escape it no matter how hard you try.

Ask yourself this Black women: Do you want to be a poor man’s version of someone else?

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65 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Neecy
    Apr 23, 2013 @ 19:38:33

    This is especially true for Black women looking to date interracially with White men. If a White man wants to date a woman with white hiar, skin and features he’ll stay with White women.

    Most White men who are dating interracially, are not looking for a White woman in brown skin. Well maybe some are, But I am going to wager this isn’t the case and toss this out as a question to the White boys on the blog.

    When considering dating a Black woman does she need to look like a WW dipped in chocolate or caramel or are you simply happy with finding a Black woman with some hot nice Black female features.

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    • Mike
      Apr 25, 2013 @ 18:33:13

      “When considering dating a Black woman does she need to look like a WW dipped in chocolate or caramel or are you simply happy with finding a Black woman with some hot nice Black female features.”

      I think you’ve touched on an issue I’ve not heard spoken about in a while. A guy I knew from years ago didn’t think white guys were being honest about whether or not they found black women attractive, if they would say yes and use someone like Halle Berry as an example. To him, Halle Berry WAS in fact a white woman “dipped in chocolate or caramel” and wasn’t an authentic representation of what black women were all about (why this was such an issue for him I have no idea).

      There ARE objective standards of beauty that nearly all men share, like hip to waist ration and facial symmetry, but beyond that, that is a lot of diversity and variety in what guys find attractive. Except for a very few 10’s, most people have to “find their niche” anyway, so that seems like sound advice.

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      • Neecy
        May 01, 2013 @ 22:40:19

        Hey Mike!

        I believe that men like beautiful women. And I also believe there are a lot of WHite men and people in general who do find Black women who look more like White girls dipped in chocolate more attractive. If the Black woman looks like this naturally then its not her fault nor should she try to change her look.

        But the reality is most BW look like BLACK WOMEN and for those who do they should feel good about this.

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  2. eugeniamb
    Apr 23, 2013 @ 20:11:42

    I like it and I agree. I work what I got to best of my ability, it’s easier that way and I’m a lot more comfortable.

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    • Neecy
      Apr 23, 2013 @ 20:22:46

      HEY EUGENIA!!! Thanks for stopping in!

      Yes how comfy is it just being yourself? Its just too uncomfortable, too much work, too much energy trying to be and look like something your aren’t or not supposed to look like. All that effort and you still never get the big trophy. Just honorable mention (in RARE cases) and some small consolation prizes for participating.

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  3. Ray
    Apr 24, 2013 @ 04:40:24

    Most black women have all the beautiful features that white women can only aspire to. That’s why they go to tanning parlors (it doesn’t help, it just ages their skin) get lip plumping products and do exercises to round out their flat a*ses!

    To be honest, I think what I love most about black women is how they embrace their femininity. I love that you enjoy being a girl and yes Neecy I love the fact that you loooooove make up and wearing dresses and skirts and high heels! Straight guys love the things that define you as a woman.

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    • Neecy
      May 01, 2013 @ 22:35:27

      Hey RAY!! I agree that Black women do have unique feminine qualities and features that we should play to our advantage more often.

      But I am not sure that White women are thinking about looking Black when they go to the tanning salon. Now maybe Latinas can make a case or Indian women can make a case since when a White woman tans she looks more their color than Black.

      Lip injections are one trait that does mimic Black women’s but that is about it.

      I’m just saying Black women need to stop worrying about what White women are doing b/c at the end of the day a White women will always benefit by looking more White than ethnic in the grand scheme of things as long as Whites are the dominant culture creating the standards, so to speak.

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  4. omerta327
    Apr 24, 2013 @ 08:12:38

    Really don’t matter at all to me if a BW “whites herself up” or not (for lack of a better term), whether it’s to intentionally appear more white or just cuz that’s the look that makes them feel best about themselves. Just be pretty, plesasant, fun and sexual and I don’t give a damn what the color of your skin is.

    A BW could straighten and lighten her hair like Ciara or go for the Angela Davis look like Solange, doesn’t matter to me. I’ll take either one of ’em. Hell, I’ll take ’em BOTH. Oh to be the creamy center of THAT Oreo cookie. Ohhhhhh yeeeaaahhh… 😎

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    • Neecy
      May 01, 2013 @ 22:37:58

      LOL I do know there are a lot of men who don’t care as long as the woman looks good. but honestly, I think men who are looking beyond just sexual intimacy and more towards long term relationships would prefer a woman more comfortable with her natural looks and not one who has to spend tons of money and time mimicking another race.

      i don’t dispute that a man will sleep with a Black woman that has whitened herself up to crazy measures if she looks fairly attractive. but i highly doubt many White men would marry or take her home to meet friends and family if she looked like a caricature of a White woman.

      What would be the point?

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  5. Alee
    Apr 24, 2013 @ 15:40:57

    Great post, Neecy. It gave me some things to ponder.

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  6. Steve
    Apr 24, 2013 @ 16:28:06

    Neecy, the same is true for dark ethnic men. My strong masculine looks never appealed to fair European / American white women. I am Mediterranean / Middle Eastern looking regardless of where I live. Even though I was born in the US and speak perfect English, white women always viewed me as “exotic” looking. Not that I cared about dating or marrying a white woman due to their ignorance and lack of true Christian character. When I traveled to the West Indies and Brazil, I found out that my looks, personality, and spirituality strongly appealed to Black Christian women. It was a life changing revelation for me. To make a long story short, I have been married to a wonderful African American woman for 28+ years. She is brown skinned and has typical West African features and hair. More importantly, she is a true Christian (that is, we are equally yoked). God made us all different and unique. You only need to appeal and to love one person. Due to the Jewish and Black diaspora over the centuries, we forget that the standards of beauty are culturally based and vary from country to country. You should only marry a spouse who loves and appreciates all of your unique and inherent qualities. What God joins together, let no man put asunder!!.

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    • Neecy
      May 01, 2013 @ 22:45:06

      STEVE thank you for your post!

      You are sooo right. A Black woman and anyone in general should only marry and be with a person who loves them as they are. this is not to say anythign is wrong with improving oneself physically. but when you find yourself uncomfortable with your CORE and you are trying to play out of your league you will be miserable.

      If people play in thier niche and leagues they will find bliss and happiness. Nothing is more peaceful than waking up to someone who loves you as your are in terms of your racial aesthetics. Many Black women have and do struggle with believing there are men out these who love them at their core African/Black features and do not expect or even want them to change their looks to fit more of a standard yet not quite hitting that mark.

      Its like when I see White women with corn row braids I think they look absolutely ridiculous and unnatural and trying to hard.

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  7. Bishop The Eastside Nappyhead
    Apr 25, 2013 @ 05:33:41

    I agree with black women needing to stop trying to emulate white women where there looks are concerned, and I also understand that this a blog about interracial dating… Black men also like black women that look like Black women….We find it sexy, just saying.

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    • MrsGlam
      Apr 26, 2013 @ 07:07:05

      Before I married my husband, I dated a few BM, and they all loved my natural hair. It made me stand out, and they loved that I didn’t look like every other girl, so yes, you’re right-there are BM that like our unique, natural beauty, too 🙂

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    • onthewaydown
      May 01, 2013 @ 14:28:17

      Good point. There are a good number of black men who prefer black women who look black…from my experience, they are higher quality too.

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    • Neecy
      May 01, 2013 @ 22:47:39

      Hi Bishop. Yes I agree there are some Black men who do respect and love BW who embrace their natural selves. Probably more than are willing to admit. But Black men have and do show an overwhelming preference for features, skin and hair that resembles more of a White than Black aesthetic and that also plays a role in why so many Black women seek to keep up with beauty ideals and standards they don’t fit naturally, b/c they feel its the only way to attract Black men.

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  8. Trackback: Am I Your Competition? Are You My Competition? | Married Girl in a Weird World
  9. TS
    Apr 26, 2013 @ 03:56:14

    Great Article. It tipped the balance in favor of an option I was considering for some time.

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  10. MrsGlam
    Apr 26, 2013 @ 07:03:38

    THIS POST RIGHT HERE!!!!! Neecy, you spoke nothing but TRUTH. My husband (as well as my exes before him) loved my natural hair. It was how they met me (didn’t start dating until I was 19 and I had already transitioned out of a relaxer.) When I start being authentic in my appearance, I found that those that were interested in me loved me without artifice. I have been very successful in finding people that think that I’m beautiful, without me imitating other women.

    Now, I still wear my straight/wavy/curly wigs, beat my face to the gods, and teeter around in heels so high that I have to kick them off in the car just to drive safely, but my husband and others who have loved me prefer[red] me without all of that. And *that* is a good feeling: knowing that someone enjoys you at your most exposed and least adorned. I love knowing that my husband will get excited when he sees my fro picked out or when I look like Huey from the Boondocks, that he loves my chocolatey skin, and thinks my 5’5″ stature is “perfect.” The most rewarding thing of all is that I realized my unique beauty BEFORE I met him, and his delight in my natural features just affirms what I already knew: someone can (and will!) love me just as I am.

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    • Neecy
      May 01, 2013 @ 22:52:50

      YEP. Nothing like being with someone who likes what *YOU* have naturally. I look at all my friends with perms and weaves and I do not envy them. nothing like getting out of the shower with wet hair that just needs some spritzing or just waking up and spritzing hair. AHHHHHH!!!!

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  11. neurochick
    Apr 26, 2013 @ 13:24:31

    Very, very, very good post. This is called, “playing the hand you’re dealt.”

    I have a friend who has a HUGE salad of health issues, serious ones. Despite all of this, she still found a man who has loved her for nearly 20 years. Why you say? Because she never hid her health problems from anybody and she knew that most men would not be interested in her, but she also knew that there would be a man who would be interested in her. Why? Because EVERYBODY on this earth has some good qualities.

    My friend is VERY intelligent, she can keep a house clean, she can cook, she can sew, she knows how to keep a budget, she can stretch a dollar. There are many things she can’t do and those things were deal breakers for a lot of men; but she looked at it this way, men who wanted her to be what she was not were NOT the men for her.

    So now she has a good man. He’s not a CEO or CFO, not a doctor, lawyer or businessman; but he loves and cares about her, and she loves and cares about him.

    Look, I have very long hair, but I don’t look good with very long hair, because my hair is very fine and when it’s long it looks thin. So I wear my hair very short and I’ve been doing it for years. Some men don’t like women with short hair, and that’s okay, because some men DO like women with short hair and I like me better with short hair.

    You can’t lose when you play the hand you’re dealt. You lose when you try to play someone else’s hand.

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  12. foosrock!
    Apr 26, 2013 @ 14:42:36

    He realized his surfer dude looks may not beat out Ken doll, but its enough to get him noticed and loved by those who want TAD and not KEN.

    I so get weak at “surfer dude looks”. Bloody yum yum yum!. Hottest guys around!.

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  13. onthewaydown
    May 01, 2013 @ 14:26:00

    Okay, first of all, Northern European dude who decided to grow his hair out made the best decision ever. They do look better with longer hair (but then again…to me, they look good anyway. Fans self.)

    But yeah, +10,000,000 to this post. I’m still in my early twenties and am happy to say that I’ve stopped trying to sell meat to vegetarians a while ago. My hair used to be paper thin relaxed–I solved that problem by going natural. Also, in high school I used to be self-conscious about my body. I grew up in mostly white neighborhoods and while I was quite small (never more than a size 4 and usually a size 2), I was always more curvy than my white/Asian friends. Breasts, butt, hips, thighs, you know how it is. Lol. I remember being measured for an outfit for a dance performance and the person measuring me made me feel like I was a freak for the proportions I had. I spent most of high school and part of college trying to diet my curves away. But then I found out that there were many guys who liked me as I was.

    Now do I have as many options as Cathy my tall blonde, blue-eyed friend? I don’t know–probably not–but who the heck cares? I still have more options than I know what to do with, and I’m only looking for one. (Interestingly, although the men are of various races, cultures, religions…a large proportion of them look as though they could be Cathy’s brother. Tall, blond, with light eyes. Hmm…)

    I am so over trying to be the low-rent version of anything. No way am I posing as tofu when I’m really steak.

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    • Neecy
      May 01, 2013 @ 22:58:55

      I am so over trying to be the low-rent version of anything. No way am I posing as tofu when I’m really steak.

      YEP! And I am so glad that you are recognizing this at still such a young age where you can really gain some advantages. Many women in your age group are still reeling in insecurity and want to do and look like things that are not necessarily in thier favor.

      I believe every woman has to just play the hand she’s dealt and stop trying to get what Becky, Maria or Ming lee has. Work with what you have. I know it may not draw the attentions and affections of EVERY man, but at least you know when you meet that ONE man who does, he’s genuinley attracted to YOU as you are.

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  14. gunslingergregi
    May 02, 2013 @ 05:29:12

    When you have to work to change yourself to look like someone else, its WORK! When you are already working with what you have it takes less effort and energy to maintain and play keep up.””””””””””””””””

    yea but white chicks work too on themselves every body got to put in work to be better in some way or another
    white chicks get out of bed and get ready
    not walk out the door

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  15. Fun
    May 02, 2013 @ 10:10:07

    Sorry… Neecy, would you ever choose a blue-eyed feminized surfer guy if you had the option of picking up a “tall dark handsome” badboy? No, you never would. The same happens with virtually every girl. So, the pale guys who tan and try to look badboys instead of being sensitive feminized surfers will virtually always get the better chicks. The same apply to girls. It’s always the best option to better yourself than to conform and wait for the rare opportunity to get a sucker without options.

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    • Neecy
      May 02, 2013 @ 15:47:17

      Honestly, I like men of all looks. I like them dark, in between and fair. For me the way the package looks means more than the shade of it. I’m pretty diverse in my tastes. If a man is hot, he’s hot no matter his race, hair skin features.

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  16. Fun
    May 02, 2013 @ 10:22:03

    In my country, we have a popular Saying that goes somewhat like this: “aim for the moon. If you happen to not get it, at least you are among the stars”. Sorry if it’s hard to understand, my english isn’t all hat good and popular dittos are hard to translate, since they are culturally filled. But it means something like “do your best to get the best, because even if you fail, what you get is still better than if you stayed on the ground to pick the low hanging fruits”. In few words: “don’t conform, always go for the best”.

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  17. Peanut
    May 02, 2013 @ 18:49:38

    hey neecy,

    nice blog and you’re pretty. I saw some of your comments on heartiste. What made you become a regular poster over there, don’t you get frustrated with all of the racist comments on that blog?

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    • Neecy
      May 02, 2013 @ 18:58:26

      Hey Peanut!!
      Aaaaahhhh Heartiste. Girl i have a love / hate with that blog. I’ve been posting for 2 years now off and on (I usually have to take looong breaks) but its simply just a guilty pleasure.

      Actually his blog was the main reason i got my blog up and running for the last couple years. I was on there and started writing my own thoughts and opinions on the topics.

      I think there are some good things and informative things for both men and women to pull from there, b/c I do feel that White men have had the wool pulled over their eyes for a very long time now, when it comes to women and especially how WHIET WOMEN think and act in the mating arena. Also, I do think that, for the first time White men are calling out the feminists on their hypocrisies and such.

      Of course you have a lot of insecure, damaged woman hating men on there (who are usually the most vocal) & WHite men who post there from white nationalist sites like stormfront, but I am so beyond their foolishness that, no it doesn’t really bother me like it should. Every once in a blue moon I have to get huffy but for the most part I pop in every now and then.

      Plus a lot of great guys do lurk and maybe post there and have added valuable discussions to my blog.

      The sexist stuff, damaged and insecure men on there get on my nerves but I do think there are a fair share of men who truly just want to see the light on how women really think and how to overcome their social akwardness with women and be more successful.

      Its a mix of guilty pleasure & LOVE/HATE for me. LOL

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    • andrewmichaelmedina
      May 28, 2013 @ 03:53:58

      BTW: Most of the dudes here come from Heartiste, like myself and Gunslingergregi, and of course ZorroPrimo.

      One thing I’ve noticed is that right-wing dudes like myself and some of the others I’ve seen both at Heartiste and right-wing sites like Reason.com and PJM is that we’re really open to dating outside our races.

      The right is a weird thing Peanut, some of us are racist but a lot of us just call it how we see it (which gets us labeled as racists).

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  18. Peanut
    May 02, 2013 @ 19:07:31

    I think that Black women need to put ourselves first and stop worrying about other people. I am a huge supporter of natural hair on Black women, I think that our hair is beautiful and unique, but I don’t believe in bullying Black women into going natural either. I think that when Black women are forced to conform to eurocentric beauty standards, it ends up hurting us more than anyone else. we can conform all we want and we’ll still be black and people will still treat us as “Black.”

    But when we uplift ourselves and care for ourselves, not only do we LOOK our most beautiful, but we benefit more than any one else.

    I did a blog post on black women and beauty standards in terms of hair: http://blacknotwhitedippedinchocolate.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/hairdresser-tales-natural-hair-is-soft-beautiful/
    . I am adding your blog to my blog resource list, neecy.

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    • Neecy
      May 02, 2013 @ 20:25:06

      Peanut ITA!

      And I am not a natural hair nazi either. I think the good thing about Black women is that we have a variety of styles and ways we can wear our hair b/c it is so versitile.

      I’m more on the fact that some Back women simply won’t be caught DEAD wearing their natural hair b/c they believe its inferior and ugly. I’m just saying ITS NOT and that yes, there may be lots of people who look sideways at Black women’s natural hair but there are still other men and people who admire and just love it for what it is.

      Thans for adding me too!

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      • andrewmichaelmedina
        May 28, 2013 @ 04:04:13

        One of my ex’s (Puerto-rican and black) wouldn’t be caught dead with her hair natural because it would knot like crazy (she explained it as if her hair was trying to dread itself). She didn’t really use any product though, just a brush and straightener.

        Current girl has some Indian somewhere in her family history, she has these long wavy flowing locks of jet black hair. On her, it looks amazing, but again, no relaxer or product.

        I like my girls of all colors the way they are. If we click, you’re cute and you love yourself, you’re in.

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  19. n/a
    May 02, 2013 @ 22:10:28

    Where you are, baby?

    Like

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  20. n/a
    May 02, 2013 @ 22:21:58

    Where are you, kiddo? my mind is open and my dick is hard. 😉

    Like

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  21. Neecy
    May 02, 2013 @ 22:27:16

    Everyone please excuse me and N/A. he is a former naughty girl guilty pleasure that has been on the blog for awhile now. he brings out the NASTAY in me. LOL

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  22. n/a
    May 02, 2013 @ 22:29:15

    A onesome is a more than enoughsum with The Neecy.

    The hour is late where I am but you’ve hugely revived me. When I read a long and pissed-off Neecy screed at Roissy’s it makes me wants to do things to you, for real.–

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