WANNA GO NOWHERE FAST? Trying to get in where you don’t fit in will certainly help you get there!
A WHITE MAN has it figured out, now all we gotta do is get BLACK WOMEN to figure it out:
“Anyway, my opinion on black women are they need to play to their strengths…….
However as in most things they want what they don’t have so they try to compete with white women on their turf with straightened hair and fair features. When they do that of course they are going to lose…….
I have personal experience in playing to your strengths. I have really really fair skin, hair and features. I used to have my hair cut in the Roman way because everyone else did and that was what you were supposed to whether you liked it or not. Well, I grew my hair in a stylized longish way and I get way more positive attention along with criticism for it. I like the best though. Longish hair on northern euro I believe is the most fitting. I emphasized my feminine features because I’m at a disadvantage when trying to play the hard faced masculine even though it’s more widely accepted as being better. I own my niche of fair skin/features and while tall dark and handsome is the absolute best to a wide audience, I’m catering to my market.”
THERE IT IS!!!
YOU BETTA PREACH!!!
LET THE CHURCH SAY AMEN!!
AMEN MY BRUTHA!!!
YOU BETTA SHUT YO MOUTH!!!
TELL THE TRUTH TO SHAME THE DEVIL!!!
Need I say more?
*who says you can’t find some gems on a Pick Up Artist site???*
This post I found was in a discussion about that Santoshi Kanawazi study that says Black women were least attractive. yeah you know that “scientific study” that sampled like 6 White people in Europe???? That study that was so scientifically profound that his ass got fired from his post at the university? Yeah that joke, i mean one….
Why is it so hard for Black Women to figure this out? You cannot win trying to play on another woman’s turf. You can only win by taking what you have and maximizing the strengths of that.
It doesn’t matter what is MOST desirable. Who wants to be a poor man’s version of someone else? Not everyone likes the same thing. The best way to win in the sexual mating game is to ENHANCE your strengths and uniqueness so that you can find your target or “niche” market that wants, desires, and likes what YOU have and not what everyone else has.
This is where Black women will keep hitting a brick wall if they don’t just GET IT. This dude has figured it out. He knows he is not the “conventional” standard when it comes to men. In fact, his features and such are deemed “more feminine” than the average man who is celebrated for having more masculine features like being tall and dark and handsome. He has understood that by trying too damn hard to get in where he doesn’t fit in (fighting against his more natural feminine features and working hard to look more masculine), that he was getting nowhere fast.
So what did he do? he said “EFF IT, Imma do ME” and see what results that garner. And he discovered an epiphany! He actually has a little niche market that loves them some him!
In the meantime he probably spends less time and energy forcing something that isn’t natural, and more time to simply enhance what it is he already has and making it more appealing to HIS TARGET NICHE MARKET of women who loves them some him, loves them some blonde blue eyed straight nosed fair skinned long haired surfer looking dude name TAD (I don’t know his name but does’t TAD sound like some long hair blonde blue eyed fair skinned dude?) hee hee
YOU CAN MIMICK AND GET A DOGGY TREAT & BONE TOSSED YOUR WAY – BUT IS THAT REALLY A PRIZE?
Yeah yeah society may throw a Black woman a bone, who has mimicked almost everything aesthetically White womanish or other acceptable celebrated racial female categories, but in the end she loses.
She loses b/c she will never get credit for really standing on her own Black beauty, but that she got a pass b/c she mimics and plays up another woman’s (of the dominant bunch) features and gets a doggy treat/bone thrown her way.
This is what Black women do not understand. Its okay to play around with your looks and to try different things. I do it. I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove make up! I lighten and darken my hair. But I’m not afraid to be seen as who I am naturally and what makes my features unique. I’m not afraid of uplaying things that make me stand out as a woman and Black woman be it my hair or skin.
This is not what I am really talking about. I’m talking about this pathology of Black women believing that they are more beautiful and worthy when they are trying to look furthest from what they are and more closely to another race of woman.
As the writer said: Black women lose when they try to compete with other races of women on their own turf. HE is so right! Just as right as he was that he was losing trying to play up features he didn’t have naturally and trying to compete with more masculine looking men. He realized his surfer dude looks may not beat out Ken doll, but its enough to get him noticed and loved by those who want TAD and not KEN.
Now I know the atypical response from Black women in denial about this:
“White women get butt implants, TAN, and get lip injections”.
But really ask yourself if these women are trying to look BLACKER b/c they deem some overall societal / economical or favorable benefit in the sexual market place to mimicking the beauty of Black women??
Really really ask yourself this question. Because until the day I see White women in DROVES walking around with big afros, braided ethnic mostly Black hair styles, and making OBVIOUS attempts to look more Black, I’m not going with that idea. There is no real “social” benefit for a White or Non Black woman to want to appear more “Blacker looking” to enhance her career or beauty status.
This is not saying b/c Black women are not beautiful enough to be mimicked, it just says there is no real economic or social benefit to mimicking a Black woman’s looks since the dominant culture rules the roost when it comes to what is considered a “standard” in beauty ideals. And WHITE has always been that standard that most races of women have sought to mimic simply for some kind of overall gain, be it career, social, or even economic advantages. OTOH, there are advantages (very little in the overall grand scheme of things, but advantages nonetheless) to Black women and other races of women trying to run behind DOMINANT standards of beauty where they don’t really fit and have to work overtime to mimic.
Let’s just start calling a spade and spade and stop with the talking around the truth.
Black women will start being more appreciated, adored and less insecure about their place on the “beauty hierarchy” once they stop playing the game and just start being what it is naturally that we are supposed to be. Once we start playing around with our uniqueness and using it to our advantage, the same way a White woman does with her own uniqueness.
Every race of woman has unique advantages that can be uplayed for their benefits without completely trying to cross over. White women have the eye and hair color. Asian / Indian women have the long silky dark hair, Black women have the beautiful variety of skin tones, full feminine round features, and unique curves. I can go on.
Most Black women are not born with hair of silk like the average WHite or Asian or Indian woman. THAT’S FINE! Our hair and features may not be the same but there is so much room to enhance what we have naturally to stand out amongst the crowd and not have that pressure anymore of trying to compete on someone else’s turf and playing second fiddle to women who do not have to do much to look like who they are.
I’m not saying you have to walk around with an Angela Davis afro all day everyday. But if deep down somewhere you feel a little OR A LOT of shame and disgust when you look at all of the things that make you different looking from other races of women, to the point you will never be caught dead LOOKING like yourself, then maybe its time to re-evaluate your thought process and ask yourself why you feel this way.
When you have to work to change yourself to look like someone else, its WORK! When you are already working with what you have it takes less effort and energy to maintain and play keep up.
I GET IT.
OK. I’M gonna throw a itty bitty doggy bone to my sistahs here. Black women are under a great deal of pressure to uphold standard beauty ideals b/c of the society we live in that rewards the women closest to the ideal. But ask yourself who are you doing it for and what are really the end results of this garnering for Black women or yourself in general?
I get that so many Black women feel the best way to compete is to work hard and as closely as possible to be as close to the ideal as possible. Because lets face it there are some little consolation prizes to be won when doing this. I see it.
But I think that’s the wrong approach. I feel Black women should not be seeking to compete with dominate culture beauty ideals b/c YOU WILL NOT WIN as long as there are a billion Non Black women on earth walking around and rolling out of bed being & looking like THEMSELVES with little to no effort.
You will and can only win in YOUR MARKET. The reality Black women do not want to face in the global world is, that we have a distinct unique situation that requires a different approach when it comes to loving and accepting ourselves and enhancing and celebrating our uniqueness. because NO ONE ELSE WILL! We do not have a calvary of men, groups, societies or culture that is going to place Black beauty on a pedestal and celebrate it whether we do it or not. WHITE WOMEN DO.
The problem is for some Black women this is not only soul crushing b/c of the emotional and physical and FINANCIAL toll it takes to play keep up and maintain, but its like a domino affect that eventually pushes her own Black beauty further beneath the surface when she should be taking those things and enhancing the strengths of her own beauty.
They say “when in Rome do as the Romans”. Uuuuh. M’kay I’ll go with that for certain things. I like to play nicely in the sandbox and get along. But certain things are non negotiable. And A Black woman’s identity in her beauty should be solid and un yielding b/c you cannot escape it no matter how hard you try.
Ask yourself this Black women: Do you want to be a poor man’s version of someone else?