THE BLACK WOMAN AS THE SUCKY PERSONS PUNCHING BAG PATHOLOGY

*Picks up mic*

Before we even get started, let’s first define and get the actual definition of what it means to suck, so that you have a clear understanding of people who suck and why they do what they do.

SUCK

— to draw (as liquid) into the mouth through a suction force produced by movements of the lips and tongue

 

— to be bad at a particular subject or action.

 

— to be inadequate, displeasing, objectionable, or of poor quality.

We’re going to go with the latter two for the purposes of this post.

WHY PEOPLE *WHO SUCK* CHOOSE BLACK WOMEN AS THEIR TARGETS

Cause its just easy peasy to pick on the underdog and vulnerable. Weak people WHO SUCK are never up for true challenges, so they gotta always take the easy route.

This is a discussion that many Black women have amongst themselves. One in which we kick around theories as to why people feel the need to pick on, hate on, shit on, and use Black women as their punching bags and scapegoats to feeling “less sucky” than they already are.

Everyone has a theory about it but there seems to be one that sticks: People who SUCK at life, in love and in varying ways, always need a scapegoat for when they look in the mirror and throw up just a little bit ALOT in their mouths and have to face the realities that THEY SUCK, and their shit STINKS to high heaven lowly hell!

My tolerance level for these people has reached triple digit negative decimals and I’m gonna start calling spades and haters, spades and haters. I don’t care what group or gender they belong to. My purpose is to no longer sit quiet and watch their SUCKY asses splatter their smelly shit onto the plates of Black women who are simply living life the best way we can and minding our own damn business.

  • BE FOREWARNED. If you do not like looking at, reading the word SUCK and its variations. STOP READING NOW*

PEOPLE WHO SUCK ALLLLLWAYS GOTTA HAVE A PLAN B BLACK WOMAN

SO when a person or persons of a particular group SUCK,  but despite their SUCKINESS feels they should be entitled to all the wonderful things in life, suddenly realize that the universe, karma and nature do not giveafock about rewarding them based on existing man made privileges and other societal nonsense that places people in categories and rewards or punishes them as such, or  how they are placed on  the social heiarchy, they have to start looking for things and other people to look down on and kick around, to forget about the fact that…. they pretty much suck.

DEFLECTION and PROJECTION are the SUCKY PERSONS GREATEST STRENGTHS

Yes people who SUCK actually have strengths! Their biggest and ONLY ones being:

— DEFLECTION

 

— PROJECTION

People who SUCK and refuse to realize they suck for their own reasons and can work on it, are lazy. A person who wins at life is able to REFLECT as to become better and REJECT the things in their life that is causing them to lose.

So the anti-thesis of Deflection and Projection are Reflection and Rejection.

Unfortunately, people who SUCK and don’t want to do anything about it or improve, want to take the easy route and just focus on other people and their so called “downfalls” whether created themselves or real.

So the lacking and sucking at life use deflections and projection as a way to take the spotlight off of their flaws, downfalls and outright suckiness.

Because if you SUCK, all you have to do is point to others sucking as a way to deflect from people looking at you and your obvious suckiness. A lot of times it doesn’t even work because most people can clearly see through a sucky persons antics, but most people do not even bother with calling them out because its in many cases futile.

But the point is,  its much easier to deflect attention away from yourself if you SUCK and want to put that spotlight on others – others who are vulnerable and easy targets that is.

The projection part I don’t believe they as SUCKY people realize they do. However,  intelligent people who do not SUCK AT LIFE clearly sees this projection at its worse. This is where the SUCK AT LIFE people don’t realize they become transparent.

They start projecting their own flaws onto others. Once again, circumventing having to work on themselves, they simply take their sucky flaws and *ATTEMPTS* to drop their little roach  droppings on others who no one would really question them in doing that to.

So if you SUCK as a person and you have a hard time dealing with that reality, you have to find someone else to drop your roach droppings on and point to to say “hey you suck!!!” to feel just *THAT* much better about yourself and your suckiness.

Another thing. Is when you SUCK and you have entitlement issues, you begin to conjure up all kinds of justifications for OTHER PEOPLE’S EXISTENCE.

Remember, the people who lack and suck at life’s goal is to never face their realities. its always deflect, deflect, deflect, project, project project!

It becomes so, that they actually become obsessed with a certain person or groups of people who they are projecting and it becomes a domino effect amongst the lacking and sucky at life. They start jumping on each other’s band wagon once they realize their brethren and fellow lacking and sucking at life have found a wonderful easy target they can get away with deflecting and projecting on without much consequence.

*SIGH* that was a mouthful.

In the end it becomes clear what is going on. And this is the point I want to drive to Black women. BE VERY clear as to the root and designation of the lacking and sucking at life. Its always to derail facing their flaws and issues and try to force someone else to accept them as their own.

In a nutshell : MISERY LOOVES COMPANY

THE NITTY GRITTY OF MY POST AND POINT

Alright I’m done with hammering the point that people who SUCK target those who they feel they can easily deflect and project their suckiness onto.

There are groups of certain people who loooooorve projecting, deflecting and pointing to Black women once they look in the mirror and realize they do not like what they see. Because they are typically in positions where they can mask their downfalls and flaws to a certain degree, they take advantage of this. Of course they look around and see and say to themselves “whose the easiest target for me to deflect attention away from myself, my flaws and my lacking?”.

BLACK WOMEN!

Yes. because Black women have no real Posse or Army of folks looking to go to war for us, or looking to defend our existence, or honor we become the easy targets when people who lack and KNOW THEY ARE LACKING have to look in their own mirror and gag at what stares back at them. That GAG reflex then becomes motivation for one of two things:

— working on themselves to be less gag worthy

— totally ignoring it altogether and coming up with some random person or persons they can bully and pick on to not have to face the ugly gag reality that stares back at them and that they have to live with every day 24 hours.

I keep driving this point home because Black women need to be very clear that the problem is not YOU or US, but rather THEM. It is easy to get caught up in the nuances, but let’s always remember Black women are hardly ever the problem in instances where people become obsessed with using us as their punching bags.

Others are more Slick about what they do and pretend to be on our side, but if you look closely, they are just wolves in sheep clothing. Some even go as far as to use dumb unproved laughable “scientific studies” and idiotic “surveys” to somehow prove that *WE* suck. And they are getting away with this. Stuff they would never get away with with other groups who have the power and force to challenge and PUNISH accordingly when idiots come up with laughable stats and “scientific” studies.

Other examples of “wolves in sheep clothing” projections and deflections are all those 2896587356487653485634875643785628756276543162543154205904985 billions of articles written up almost every hour on the hour minute on the minute pointing out where Black women “lack” or are leading the way with some negative statistic. LOL They try to mask these articles as “concern” for us, when they are just being a lot more savvy in their quest to once again DEFLECT and PROJECT away from their groups issues and problems.

WHEN THE SHIT IS PILED UP TO HIGH FOR THEM TO EVEN MANEUVER IN THIER OWN EXISTENCE, THEY COME A RUNNING TO DROP THIER DROPPINGS ON A CLEAN CANVAS

When it becomes impossible to maneuver around peacefully within your own existence because your shit and issues are piled too high and you are too lazy to clean it up, it becomes a mission to go and shit in other people’s existence and dirty up their clean canvas so you can once again feel “Free” and able to move about the cabin.

You see not all people who suck are stupid. There are people who need to use certain groups as a collective to boost themselves and their groups and always have a one up, even when things are going awry.

That should be the first clue and sign when others are struggling with themselves – the minute they start poking and prodding around in the Black woman’s yard be on notice that something is CLEARLY wrong in their homes and thus why they are over in your backyard trying to stir up shit and drop their smelly little roach dropping on your clean canvas.

Misery loves company.

The best thing Black women can do (for those who simply do not have the time nor energy to fight that good fight) is to keep living well (and aging well. Yeah I went there). THAT is truly your best revenge as a Black woman. Unfortunately, you will know once you begin to do this successfully, the cockroaches of planet SUCK will start coming after you in full force. Eventually if you stay on track, the roaches will start being seen for who and what they are, when they no longer can find solace in your existence because its just to good for them to even survive in!

Remember a clean well kept home, doesn’t have roaches ;).

So now let’s list some very specific and COMMON examples of how other people who suck at life and throw up just a little A LOT in their mouths when they look in the mirror, use Black women as their shield of protection in facing their SUCKINESS head on:

— Racist WHite men who pedestalize White women but can’t seem to keep Black women and our “horrible existence” out of their mouths.

What’s at play here? we see a group who claims to have only Becky on the brain, but can’t seem to stop talking about and focusing on KEISHA. Hmmm. WHY????????

— Black men who claim that all races of women are only worthy of their attention and affections and Black women just SUCK.

What’s at play here?  Once again we see another group who claims to have Becky, Maria and Ming Li on the brain, but can’t seem to stop talking about and focusing on KEISHA. Hmmm. WHY????????

— News outlets, papers and magazines that obviously have no other news to report other than Black women’s negative ___________________ you fill in the blank statistics.

What’s at play here?

— So called “SCIENTISTS” who create laughable, racist and embarrassing (for them) “studies” claiming that Black women are just UGLAY

What’s at play here? Why bother? I mean if someone is that damn bad, why waste resources, money, time and risking your reputation to “Prove” what you claim is obvious? Right. if this is something “obvious” why the need to prove it? Hmmmmm.

— Dating sites that come up with laughable “DATA” that claims Black women are the lowest on the totem pole when it comes to getting hits and dates

What’s at play here? Not sure why this even matters. Is it to inform Black women to stop wasting their energy, time and resources and to actually get out and learn to meet people face to face to have a better opportunities or is it to make some “POINT” to Black women and others about Black women’s desirability? HMMMMM. If so why bother? What in the end do these studies do for mankind other than prove that a lot of people have way too much fkn lost time on their hands.

CUI BONO???

Love that phrase that Kahdijia used to use quite frequently when asking “WHo benefits” Always be asking yourself “who benefits” from making these kinds of claims and assertions about Black women and WHY. Then it will always be clear as to what is at play!

We always need to be asking when these things come up as Black women “what’s at play here”. Because for a minority of women who everyone claims to be the worse creation since mankind to constantly be on the mouths, tongues, brains (and I’m using the term brains loosely here) says there is definitely something more at play.

And that answer is, people are always looking for the easy target to deflect from themselves.

Notice how there are never any billions of articles that focus on how young White males are more likely to commit mass murder. yet we hear and see at least 2-3 times a year about young White males who have gone and killed a boatload of people for no reason at all. YET, there are no “scientific” studies poking and prodding White men as a collective to understand why this occurs. WHY? because WHite men are allowed to be individuals! Imagine that. Insted they just find something to write about Black women. DEFLECTION and PROJECTION.

Notice how despite the raging stats on Black men, crime, and a boatload of other obvious negative things they are known for, we don’t see the same amount of effort into doing “scientific” studies and data on poking and prodding into Black men. In fact, Black men seem to be able to completely ignore their own shitfests so much they have time to focus on telling the world and Black women where Black women com up short.  Just create an article about Black women.LOL! WHy? Once again DEFLECTION and PROJECTION.

Notice how when a White woman does some dirt, does questionable things, we don’t get bombarded with articles, scientific studies and data, poking and probing into what is wrong with them as a collective. Instead they just come up with something to write about Black women. LOL. DEFLECTION and PROJECTION.

Do we see a pattern here? When in doubt or unable to face their fked up realities, people JUST WRITE AN ARTICLE, CREATE A BLOG, START A TWITTER ACCOUNT OR FACEBOOK PAGE – targeting Black women and our “flaws”. That seems to be the answer is all cases!

Black women WAKE UP and stop drinking other peoples kool aid. They pick on you and target you because THEY CAN and because THEY SUCK in more ways than one and don’t want anyone to see it, and would rather deflect their lackingingess onto Black women, than fix the shit they see staring back at them in the mirror every damn day.

*Drops mic*

140 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Peanut
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 16:59:45

    amen.

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  2. Peanut
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 17:00:40

    I think insecurity is a big factor.

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  3. Peanut
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 17:05:32

    also men who are insecure about their “manhood,” probably feel the need to bash black women a lot

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    • Neecy
      Sep 15, 2013 @ 19:29:51

      The bottom line is this. I’m going to refer to the Heartiste incident here b/c that is what spawned this post.

      Here is my theory on the matter of MEN and WHITE MEN who bash Black women “just because”.

      They have misdirected anger and here is why.

      WHite women (especially young White women) have very little inhibitions about their sexuality and making it known who and what they find attractive. In many cases an attractive Black male has just as much ability to bed or be with a young White woman as an attractive WHite guy.

      Unlike WHite men, WHite women feel free and are free to flirt with, bed and date and just generally be with whomever they please. In many cases the choice (especially when they are in their prime ages) is not always WHite males.

      Have you ever seen White women waxing poetic about White men the same way WHite males do of them? NO.

      While, yes many WW may end up marrying and creating families with WHite men (when they’re much older and losing their sexual market value), there are quite a few who are enjoying Black men in thieir early years both intimatley and on relationship levels.

      What this means to racist WHite men is that they realize their “privleidge” doesn’t gain them favorable access to young attractive in demand White women like they feel it should. They realize they have to “step up” their game in order to compete with Black and other races of men for sexual relationships with young WHite women. They become bitter and even more racist as this reality starts showing. Hence heartiste and his followers constant need to bash black women even when the topic isn’t about us.

      Where Black women come into play is:

      Unlike WHite women who really do not show loyalty to their own race of men when it comes to intimacy, Black women are different. I am not saying this is a good thing, but it is what it is. Black women for the most part UNLIKE White women do not openly flirt with, go after our just have open intimate relationships with Non Black men as do WHite women with Non WHite men.

      Of course to even the WHite men who don’t have Black women on their radar’s, this is still something that frustrates them. The fact they see Black women who are the least likely to even want to date or be with other men outside of Black, bugs them because White women are not the same and the amount of effort and energy WHite men put into keeping WHite women on her pedestal makes them feel angry when she doesn’t reciprocate.

      They see Black men treating Black women like crap and Black women still shouting from the mountaintops how they only want a Black “KING”. So, instead of directing all their anger and frustrations at WHite women, they instead up the ante on the White woman worshiping while also directing their anger (which is really frustration) towards Black women (who have absolutley nothing to do with it) because subconsciously they hate Black women for doing what White women refuse to do – be loyal to them as men – especially when they work overtime to appease WHite women.

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      • Sibyl
        Sep 17, 2013 @ 13:19:28

        Is anyone seeing a pattern here? Men are only devoted to, and eager to place on pedestals, those women who don’t give a flying f**k about them and that show them ZERO loyalty.
        BW as a group need to deeply absorb that lesson and start acting accordingly asap.

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      • chicnoir
        Oct 20, 2013 @ 07:40:59

        *chic noir walks up to Neicy offers a hug and a house warming gift*

        It’s been so long Neicy. Hope all is well with you.

        Bam… Just like that. I thought I was the only one who saw it for what it is. This reads like you pulled it str8 out of my mind.

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      • Tee Tee
        Oct 23, 2013 @ 03:32:34

        Oooooohhh wow!
        Brilliant analysis!

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    • Neecy
      Sep 15, 2013 @ 19:30:05

      They HATE Black women for not feeding their racist egos.

      That is why Heartiste’s site exists! To help WHite men become sexually favorable in the eyes of WHite women. because whatever it is they have been doing for decades hasn’t garnered much success for them, and they seem to be getting more concerned and worried that Western WHite women at their younger and prime ages are more apt to go after and have intimate relations with ethnic and Black men and losers despite the privledge and resources White men come with. In addition, they find these WHite women are preferring to take up with BAD boys and losers who treat them like CRAP vs. the beta white guy sitting on the computer talking about how WHite women “are the gold standard in beauty”. LOL

      SO they have to learn “GAME” to get WHITE WOMEN to find them sexually appealing. The sad part is, they still don’t get it! They will sit all day talking about how WHite women march over them to get to the bad boy and losers who don’t pay them any attention, and then they turn around and have 1000+ “White women are the greatest” posts falling right back into that desperate worshiping Beta status they are trying to escape. In the meantime they throw Black women under the bus because its just easy and takes the focus off of their pitfalls as men.

      Of course for many, its not as easy as they believe it is So they become more bitter, angry, RACIST and desperate – hence the blog posts saying “WHITE WOMEN ARE THE GOLD STANDARD OF BEAUTY” (LOL) with 500+ posts of Deprived White men high fiving each other and have a WHite woman obsessions fest. LOL And there are like 1-2 WHite women who even post on the board.

      This is all done to help them get in better graces with WW. That is where the Black women bashing comes in. MISDIRECTED anger because unlike WW Black women are more apt to be loyal and stay within thier race and prefer their race of men vs. WHite women who at younger ages experiment and have relations with Black men and not so White woman worshiping men – and then later as they start getting older and want more security, they start looking for the beta WHite male provider to give them WHite babies, nice cushy lives and privilege.

      LOL I know the game baby. They can’t pull the wool over my eyes.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 16, 2013 @ 02:32:05

        I also need to add. The average black woman (myself included) could care less if white men worship the ground white women walk on. We don’t care! What we do care about us these pathetic white men feeling necessary to drag black women into their white women obsession parties when we shouldn’t even be on their brains or mouths.

        These kinds of white men are so lacking and weak that they cannot seem to simply have a discussion about white women ALONE without bashing black women in the process. THAT is the problem I have with them.

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        • Peanut
          Sep 16, 2013 @ 16:32:46

          neecy said,
          “WHite women are preferring to take up with BAD boys and losers who treat them like CRAP vs. the beta white guy sitting on the computer talking about how WHite women “are the gold standard in beauty”. LOL”

          LOL AT THIS!

          “I also need to add. The average black woman (myself included) could care less if white men worship the ground white women walk on. We don’t care! What we do care about us these pathetic white men feeling necessary to drag black women into their white women obsession parties when we shouldn’t even be on their brains or mouths.”

          I agree 100%

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        • Peanut
          Sep 16, 2013 @ 17:36:52

          neecey?

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        • stephaniegirl
          Sep 19, 2013 @ 15:16:43

          dteph,

          Sorry I am deleting what you wrote b/c I’m no longer allowing trash into my blog not am I going to visit places like the place you posted.

          As you can see with my latest comments with peanut and my last post regarding half glass empty. If you are going to places where you know there is black woman hate, then you are wanting to keep garbage in your life.

          I’m no longer about THAT life. Those blogs are their homes and domains to write about whatever they want. If they want to sit and spew hate about black women and their opinions then its their right b/c it’s their blog! What we need to see is that they spend more than half their time talking about a group (Black women) who they claim is not all that – shows more of a relfection on them and their OBSESSIONS with us.

          Black women who want to live well will start rendering these loser lacking men invisible. I suggest you do the same.

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          • Neecy
            Sep 19, 2013 @ 17:44:05

            I’m not saying you’re trash, but posting links to trash sites full of sorry white men and even discussing them is that trash I’m speaking of.

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      • onthewaydown
        Sep 27, 2013 @ 04:44:14

        It reminds me of the whole “nothing but a black man” black women commenters who go on websites to talk about how black men are Gods and they’d rather screw a cat than be with a non-black man. It’s funny how these particular white men whine about not being able to get a white woman while the white women in question don’t seem to care at all. I also find it funny how certain black women like to wax poetic about how the black man is king while certain black men go about dating and mating with non-black women.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 28, 2013 @ 21:31:44

          EXACTLY!! That is why I said BW and WM who do this are so similar its crazy. They need to get together! LOL.

          Its no different than the scores of desperate groveling BW who go on and on about the “superiority” of Black men vs. White, and Black men are still walking all over them to get to the nearest Non BW. And the scores of sad pathetic White men going on and on about the “superiority” of White women vs. Black, yet White women do not pay them any damn attention and continue to date, sleep with and marry men of other races.

          I was hoping one day these fools would get it. But it doesn’t look like that day is nearing.

          I think it honestly boils down to this: They feel no loss in continuing to extoll the virtues of BM or WW because in their minds, they are the only possibilities they have for love anyway. So they feel even though they are still losing, they still have a better chance with them than simply expanding their horizons to others.

          Oh well I say let them continue to stay in their blissful stupidity and ignorance while the rest of the world is moving onward and upward.

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  4. Peanut
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 19:07:07

    some people just need to keep their mouths closed when it comes to Black women and mind their business.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 15, 2013 @ 19:35:04

      As long as people have flaws they are in denial about having and shitty lives and existences, they will always look to throw SOME OTHER GROUP or person under the bus. PERIOD. Right now Black women are the easiest targets to do that too.

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  5. omerta327
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 20:12:01

    that post SUCKED. 😎

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  6. omerta327
    Sep 15, 2013 @ 20:38:04

    you know what you were implying
    and what’s a “defimition”

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    • Neecy
      Sep 15, 2013 @ 20:46:53

      A defimition is a uh… hmmm. A creative take on the word definition – you know how we do at Neecy’s Nest!!!!! LOL :mrgreen:

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      • omerta327
        Sep 15, 2013 @ 21:02:57

        In all seriousness, I think the bottom line is this:

        Haters gonna hate

        People have all kinds of insecurities that will manifest themselves in all kinds of ways. It’s best to just ignore them, especially on the internet.

        The more energy you spend railing against them, the more of your soul they take.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 15, 2013 @ 21:15:43

          I agree. I don’t know why I completely get and agree with what you’re saying, but get worked up over it!

          I know I just gotta remember the root of it all and nit allow myself to waste my time. But in the flip side I do feel they need to be called our because there are some impressionable and vulnerable black women who may and do take that stuff to heart without realizing what’s at play.

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          • omerta327
            Sep 15, 2013 @ 21:31:07

            True. I guess it’s just a matter of choosing your battles.

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          • Peanut
            Sep 16, 2013 @ 16:36:04

            I know how you feel Neecy. Being a grown woman, I could easily just say that this doesn’t apply to me, these are ignorant men and let it go but i worry about younger black women who come across this stuff. i want them to see that not everyone agrees and i don’t want their self esteem messed up because of some ignorant, closed-minded white males.

            but honestly at the same time, more Black MEN need to come to our defense, like Abagond did. The only Black man who posts on there and defends Black women is THWACK. I think Black men should be defending Black women, but of course it won’t happen.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 16, 2013 @ 18:42:57

              Black women need to let go of this wish and pipe dream of Black men sticking up for us – at least on a level where it would matter. Its not gonna happen and Black women need to let it go! Black women need to also understand that *IS* why we are such easy targets is because Black men dropped the ball when it came to protecting us. Now we are easy free targets for everyone (including Black men).

              Black women need to change their mindset and start standing up for EACH OTHER and stop wishing and waiting on Black men. It will never happen – especially at this point in the game.

              The saying goes: There is no Calvary coming to save Black women – SAVE OURSELVES!

              Black women can change things and turn it around by doing a lot of things. But too many are still trying to fight Black men and everyone else’s battles.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:17:35

                i just saw this comment. i think black men need to start fighting our battles as men and i agree that black women have been acting like the protectors of Black men and that really has backfired on us…i’m tired of having to fight with men though, i’m tired of having to prove my womanhood.

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:24:15

                  So then don’t do it! if you don’t feel you want to defend yourself from ignoramous racist men, then stay of websites where they dwell and go find more happy productive things to focus on. There are a lot of Black women who do this because they do not have the time nor energy to focus on negativity and crazies. ME? I kinda enjoy sticking up on ocassion for Black women so it doesn’t bother me. I *shrugs* But then there are times where I feel its just not worth it to me to even deal with crazies and waste my breath arguing with them.

                  But sitting waiting and hoping for Black men to rescue you is a complete waste of time! I don’t even want to discuss it because its pointless to even sit and talk about what BM should be doing when in fact the one group of men who BW are mostly having to defend themselves against IS BLACK MEN.

                  Racist WHite men hang out in places where they find other like stem. however, Black men who are constantly putting down Black owmen are all over the media and everywhere.

                  So you are asking a group of men who are more likely to be shitting on Black women to defend us? LOL

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                  • Peanut
                    Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:33:15

                    well when it’s put that way, it really seems like we do have no protection as a collective…we’re on our own…I don’t like that. That is why people attack us at will, it’s sick.

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                  • Peanut
                    Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:35:08

                    it’s not that i’m waiting on Black men to come swooping in, but there are enough Black men out there who love Black women that more should be defending us. I just feel like it’s a very small, loud minority of Black men who do the things you described like the bashing on YouTube/ in the media and the majority of Black men who care for Black women are just silent and don’t speak out, for whatever reason, even though they don’t agree with what’s going on and I’m not sure why that is…

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                  • Peanut
                    Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:36:11

                    we, as Black woman, shouldn’t have to be the only ones defending our womanhood.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:18:58

                the only reason i don’t just wash my hands of men like heartiste is because i think of the young black girls who may come across that kind of thing and i want them to know that it’s not true…if it weren’t for that, i would just forget about it/ignore it cuz i’m tired of having to be the sole protectors here.

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:27:01

                  Honestly, you probably should avoid that website. Very few Black women or even women in general dwell there or stay there. You’re not really helping yourself or other Black women by being there. I clearly understood this years ago and decided to pop in every once in a blue, to make comments.

                  I go because i have thick skin and I actually like a small minority of the posters there. But I won’t even be returning after his latest shenanigans because he has clearly gone off his rocker.

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                • Peanut
                  Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:38:39

                  but Heartiste is just one ignorant white man, there are many more out there and it’s unavoidable. I can’t go on google and search for something positive about Black women without accidentally coming across ignorant forums/comments. It’s inescapable. I’ll literally be looking up information on Black women celebrities or something and lo and behold I’ll come across a racist post about Black women. Most of the time i don’t go looking for this stuff. I’m certain if they did a scientific study, Black women would be the most maligned group of women on the internet.

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                  • Neecy
                    Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:47:56

                    Peanut a lot of the malicious stuff written about bw comes from BLACK MEN! Whether you want to believe this or not, its the truth.

                    It seems that this seems to be affecting you much deeper than it should be and if I were you I would maybe take a step away from the internet for awhile or just have a select number of places you visit. The only time I come across these kinds of things you mention is (1) I am going to a particular place or blog where I know this happens (2) I have heard about this on other BWE sites.

                    You have to be empowered. BW have to also take responsibility for the kinds of things we allow ourselves to internalize. I don’t generally watch TV and when i do its either watching movies I enjoy on the movie channels or other shows and things that make me laugh or where I can learn something.

                    The articles are not going away. That is why I said in the post, LIVING WELL is your best revenge. If it affects you this much – you are not living well adn they are winning! , its time to step away from the computer and find more positive things.

                    For me? Yeah I get mad and fly off the handle. but my therapy is I can put it all in perspective so what I do is write posts on encouraging BW and informing BW how to cope and deal with it.

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      • omerta327
        Sep 15, 2013 @ 21:06:03

        Whoa! We’re going back to the pink design here?
        Ugh.. I gotta go puke now

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  7. orwell1776
    Sep 16, 2013 @ 05:48:06

    Neecy,

    Your blog post sounded like an extension of your earlier post about black women being mammies for other people.

    I completely understand that people are afraid and insecure; so they feel like the only way they can feel more secure is to compare themselves to others. They have no sense of “self” that is independent of what “others” lack. This creates a black hole in their soul that has a gravitational force that sucks anything, including light, inside it until nothing else is left. (http://scienceblogs.com/startswithabang/files/2012/05/Black_Hole_Milkyway.jpeg)

    But does this common problem with humanity have to be defined in relation to race? Isn’t what you’re describing a problem with many INDIVIDUAL human beings that manifests itself irrationally in a myriad of ways?

    Maybe if your thoughts on this matter were expressed in a way that depicts how you’ve been affected personally by what you’re talking about, then your point may be more vivid and clear to me.

    But when your thoughts and feelings are expressed from the standpoint of racial collectivism. group think, or group identity; I find myself lost in the hasty generalizations about racial “groups” to the point where I feel like the baby has been thrown out with the bathwater.

    I’m not attacking… Just expressing my thoughts as a fan of your work.. 🙂

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    • Neecy
      Sep 16, 2013 @ 18:58:53

      Hi Orwell!!

      Thank you so much for your thougthful post.

      You know I wrote the post in somewhat of an emotional state and in reaction to something that happened on another blog. So maybe I should have cooled off before writing it. But i felt the best way to calm down was to write it out ASAP and not wait.

      But I get what you are saying. WHite males are not the only group responsible for this type of behavior. believe it or not Racist WHite men and Racist Black women mirror each other in many ways. I could change the genders and the same would apply. it just so happens that this post was directed towards something that happened on a board with a racist WHite male blog host and some of his followers. Had it been on a blog with Black women whom I disagreed with I would have written it from that angle (and I have actually discussed and gone hard onBlack women as well).

      But to your overall point – YES all humans are capable and have in some ways done this. BUT, Black women are constant unfortunate beneficiaries of everyone else’s issues and insecurities because it just easy for everyone to get away with picking on the vulnerable and underdog.

      We live in a racial society where groups and individuals are treated for the most part according to their race and even gender. Black women cannot escape this even if we tried. So we have to be able to define and understand certain phenomenons, behaviors, actions towards us and that affect us as a racial group and gender to be able to live much more happily and successfully.

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      • Peanut
        Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:08:08

        I disagree Black women who prefer Black men do not trash white men the way many racist white men who prefer white women trash black women. black women just date black men exclusively and they may big up black men (too much) but that’s it, in general. we have black women who complain about racism from white men in general but that’s it…

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        • Neecy
          Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:13:15

          I have to disagree here. i used to frequent an all Black very popular board years ago (Black voices) and it was the same thing. Black women making assinine racist comments about WHite men in order to lift up the Black men and get brownie points from Black men.

          Saying things like “I wouldn’t touch a white man because they have small pink penises” or “WHite men stink” or “WHite men are disgusting with their pale skin and pink faces”. “Black men are the greatest and no other race of man can compare” “Dark skin is the best” etc. the list goes on.

          So IMO yes Racist Black women who obsess and worship over Black men do the same things that racist WHite men who obsess and worship WHite women.

          They are so similar its crazy.

          And also notice WHite women and Black men are very similar in that they hardly put each other down. That is because both BM and WW feel comfortable enough to date and be with others outside their race unlike WM and BW who are always trying to prove some race loyalty nonsense.

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          • Neecy
            Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:14:04

            Also the same reason BW go hard on WM and other BW who date WM is the same reason racist WM do it- feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.

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          • Peanut
            Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:21:07

            you can’t disagree that it’s FAAAR less common, when is the last time a Black woman wrote an article saying how white men were objectively the ugliest men or anything like that? It’s only white men (and one japanese man) who do that…they try to make their preference into a science, they are in general far more delusional than any Black woman with a preference for Black men

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            • Neecy
              Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:41:33

              The only difference is WHite men have a lot more power to do those sorts of things. But there are Black women who in the last couple months that have made public articles about why they won’t date WHite men.

              Actually the one group BW are constantly defending themselves against are BLACK MEN. You can find waaaaay more articles and you tube vids and rap songs of Black men putting down Black women than you can of White men making scientific racist studies about BW.

              I’m just trying to open your eyes here because you seem to be overlooking a major aspect of BW bashing and that is Black men.

              yes this post was spawned off the heartiste thing, but i am not foolish enough to act as if racist WHite men are the main culprits sticking it to Black women.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:53:19

                well again though, the majority of black men need to defend black women from both racist white men and racist black men, they need to stop sitting on their butts and not doing anything…

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              • Peanut
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:55:31

                any way, i’m done. they wanna drag black women’s names through the dirt and use us as punching bags because they’re insecure, that’s on them.

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        • stephaniegirl
          Sep 17, 2013 @ 05:16:11

          We prefer Black men because we have commonalities between each other, whereas white men choose white women because they want to prop up racism/white supremacy, not love.

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          • Peanut
            Sep 17, 2013 @ 06:22:09

            good points

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          • Neecy
            Sep 17, 2013 @ 07:05:26

            I don’t think this is a fair assessment at all. Not all White men are racist and not all White men prefer WW just to keep racism alive. Just as not all BW have commonalities with Black men. This is something that Black women need to stop with.

            (1) White men have a right just like anyone else to love and prefer women who they come from without being charged with simply being racist. Of course there are the crazies who only see WW as a womb to carry on White lineage, but just like any other group, White men also choose White women because of commonalities, family, culture and because they simply are attracted to those who look closest to them or maybe they like the looks and features of the women they produce and come from.

            (2) Yes Racist key word *RACIST* White men do not really love WW. They love the fact that WW are the only group of women that in thier minds they feel can continue on the White race. They fear losing thier status as racist WM and therefore need WW to produce.

            (3) There are RACIST Black women who only love Black men because they feel inadequate and unable to see thier true value. IOW’s they only believe tat its Black men who “love” them. When it is clear this is not the case on a larger scale. The only people who seem tpo be blinded or ignorantly blissful about this are stubborn Blac women who refuse to see the forest for the tree. There are Black women who feel Black skin and men are SUPERIOR adn thus will put up with all kinds of RAP (just like Racist White men do of WW) because to them its WORTH IT!

            (4) There are Black women who are not racist who simply prefer Black men because of cultural and historical reasons or simply they prefer the way Black men look.

            THE POINT? Yes racial and cultural commonlaities exist in ALL GROUPS (including WHite). However, Black women fare the WORSE because the group of men they “prefer” does not typically prefer them and does not have a care in the world to defend, protect or uphold the male responsibilities in his race and culture. THUS, why it becomes so easy for racist WHite men, feminist WW and anyone else to openly target BW. They see BM doing it with no consequence and they also realize BM just.don’t.give.a.shit about Black owmen in general. So Black women actually make out WORSE when they do not look out for themselves and seek MEN of any race/culture that can and is willing to bring value to her in a relationship.

            I am not seeing how Black women can continue to make these claims that we prefer Black men because of commonalities alone. When in REALITY Black men do and have done for the most part everything to SEPERATE themselves from Black women and their responsibilities as men. In fact, Black men seem to be the only race of men who feel completely comfy in openly diminishing the value of their women!
            OPEN YOUR EYES. Racist White men are not the main issue against Black women – it Black men as well and in many cases!

            Just like Racist WM who feel inadequete and insecure hold onto thier WW pipe dream there are just as many BW who do the same of Black men. Black women who even go as far as to harass and belittle and BULLY other Black women who do not feel the same and who live life for themselves – in which means dating interracially and/or not waxing poetic about the so called greatness of Black men.

            SO. It works both ways and not all WHite men are the same just as not all Black women are the same. There are plenty of non racist WM in the world, just as their are racist WM.

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            • Peanut
              Sep 17, 2013 @ 18:57:39

              I think the majority of white men on Heartiste and the white men who bash other groups of women and pedestalize ww fall into category two…it’s more than just simple preference/commonalities for them. I agree it’s fine and the norm that most white men prefer the women that they come from, but what’s abnormal is the bashing of Black women/non-white women, that’s abnormal to me and I do think that the white men who do that generally are using white women to continue their racism because through her whiteness continues.

              I think that most Black men actually do prefer to marry Black women, contrary to the media, most marry Black women, just like most other races of men marry within their race… the problem is that the minority of Black men who trash Black women are a very loud minority and the majority of Black men who are ‘normal’ don’t speak up for us, that’s my issue with that. That’s something that is abnormal to me is not speaking up when we’re being trashed. I won’t hear the majority of Black men talking negatively about Black women, but they won’t stand up vehemently for us either…and that is strange. I don’t know if it’s because they just don’t care to or if it’s because you said, they want someone else to be beneath them or if they just are not aware…I don’t know.

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              • Neecy
                Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:07:31

                PEANUT,

                The fact that you claim there is only a minority of BM who loudly diminish the value of BW while the rest remain silent no longer makes it a MINORITY of Black men. because remaining SILENT doesn’t make them any less innocent or non concerning of BW than the ones who speak out.

                its like being an accessory to murder. The person may not have pulled the trigger or even been there, but in some way they helped the crime happen.

                So just because the majority of BM may not “pull the trigger” so to speak doesn’t make them any less shitty than the ones who do pull the trigger. because BM remaining silent when BW are in need is JUST AS BAD as openly humiliating BW. because that means they do not give a shit!

                You answered your own question. The fact they do not speak up is JUST AS BAD as the BM who do openly talk shit about BW.

                LET IT GO BABE! I’m not going to revisit the discussion about BM and them sticking up for us b/c I really do not know how many more times I can say it – ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN, so STOP LOOKING, WAITING, HOPING, TRYING TO RACK YOUR BRAIN o UNDERSTAND IT!

                Just because a BM isn;t openly saying anything about you, doesn’t mean he cares about you. if his actions show lack of protection and calling out of the BM who do openly diminish the value of BW, then he too is just as BAD as the BM who are saying something.

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                • Peanut
                  Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:12:25

                  does it hurt/offend you more to hear racist things from White men or Black men?

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                  • Neecy
                    Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:19:13

                    It bugs me more to hear it from Black men. White racist men are gonna do what White Racist men do. Nothing to see there.

                    But YES I have a bigger problem with men who come from the WOMB of the women they are continuously diminishing, marginalizing etc. than i would a White racist male who has no connect at all to a Black woman.

                    Its utterly mind boggling how Black men can hate themselves and their women so much. Look at their actions. I can’t nor do I have to sit here making this up. Just really look at their actions collectivley towards Black women and its clear to everyone Black men hate themselves and b/c of that hate BW and take it out on Black women.

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                    • Peanut
                      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:27:57

                      yeah it bothers me more when Black men do it too, it comes off as cowardly and it’s like betrayal to me.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:00:22

      My goal is to inform Black women (who probably already know but some it may not register) WHY and how its done and how to understand the root of what is going on – and how to cope and handle it. A lot of BW do feel it is *THEM* that is the problem, that is coming up short and my message is to be clear that its not.

      I am also of the belief that if people can feel comfy in directing thier misdirected anger and frsutrations on Black women, it is my right as a Black woman to point out WHY I feel they have misdirected anger and frustrations.

      I’m just tired of the freebies handed to groups of people who feel its okay to direct anger and lash out against innocent Black women whenever they choose, without having to be called out or put on blast as to why they are doing it.

      Black women have a right to defend themselves and in some cases it may or may not be even worth trying to defend.

      But in this case I tried to stay neutral by saying that people in general who *SUCK* (i.e. feel inadequte in some way) will usually find ways to project that onto an easy target.

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      • Peanut
        Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:11:07

        don’t you agree though that Black men should be the ones to defend us more? I don’t feel like that I, as a woman, should have to defend myself from other men. I really think that’s a man’s job and not enough Black men do it…that’s a big part of the problem. I think it’s easy for men to pick on women, it’s especially easy for white men to pick on Black women…WHY??? Because we have little to no protection, Abagond has defended Black women from heartiste before, but that’s it.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:19:27

          Like I said. We can sit here and say what is right and what Black men should be doing, but its a waste of time, energy and bandwidth because they have never done it and are not going to ever do it. This is why the discussion of Black men defending us is futile! You cannot make them do what they have never nor plan on ever doing. Its not even worth a discussion because its pointless to talk about what “should be”.

          The *REALITY* is, whether or not you feel you shouldn’t have to defend yourself against other men leaves it fully in your hands to simply not do it. Just don’t do it! If other men are attacking you, you can walk way or leave the website or defend yourself and Black women. That is really the only options you have as a Black woman.

          I really wish Black women would let go of the idea that Black men are going to rescue us. Whether they should at this point is completely pointless to me to even discuss because they HAVEN’T and I won’t sit around waiting for that to happen.

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          • Peanut
            Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:26:25

            well maybe a better strategy from now on would be to ignore it, but just link to positive stuff about black women. like if someone says black women are ugly, instead of going back and forth with them, maybe we should just ignore it and link to something disproving it. that way young black women who encounter this will know it’s not true and we’ll still be defending ourselves, without wearing ourselves out fighting with grown azz, insecure white men who don’t respect us and never will…I just get tired of it…I have a right to be a woman and not have to be on guard all of the time and I think we as Black woman in general should be able to relax sometimes and let other’s fight our battles for us…for a change…

            be honest though, don’t you get tired of it?

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            • Neecy
              Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:36:24

              Do you feel the same about the scores of Black men who have said worse about Black women? Because you have to know they are in full force.

              Racist WHite men are stupid but don’t go onto mainstream sites where Black women are making these declarations. We are actually going onto their home front and then getting mad (lol). So technically, we are the ones out of line if we disagree with them because they are in their “safe haven” and we are on their turf.

              But Black men go to places where Black women dwell and make all kinds of humiliating public declarations about Black women coming up short, yet Black women seem to continue to ignore this and give this a pass. And still think they are going to defend us? LOL How can black men defend Black women when 90% of the time they are putting us down????

              Am i annoyed by racist WHite men? YES. But I am more annoyed by racist BLACK MEN who talk shit about Black women. YES!

              The bottom line is, Heartiste’s blog is his and he has his audiences of insecure racist WM. But its HIS right to make the posts he wishes because its HIS blog and he is not coming over to Black women’s blogs spewing his nonsense.

              So actually the onus is on Black women like yourself to AVOID places like his because its THEIR turf. That’s just the truth.

              Its not your job to go there and defend Black women. Its not even a place for Black women.

              I frequent the site as I have for years because I am interested in some of the GAME aspects and some of the other discussions that go on there. The main reason i started this blog was to piggy back off of some of the concepts there. So Neecys’ Nest was/is a result of having spent time over at CH and wanting to make blog posts on my take of men, women and relationships.

              Like I said, I have rarely come into racial discussions like the ones he has had of late and thus why I am figuring something has happened to make him so crudely racist these days. He wasn’t always like that form my experience.

              BUT I have already come to terms there are times when I’m going to defend myself and Black women. But at the end of the day, if I hate what is said there, its up to me to leave and not return.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:46:24

                No, I’ve seen so many comments from white men in Black women’s videos and other spaces that should be “Safe” they come on our turf too

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:52:13

                  Well there is nothing you can do it about them other than no longer frequeting these places. There are a ton of BWE sites you can visit that protect you from that stuff. If you are frequeting general Black boards, they have no interest in protecting Black women from that kind of stuff. THAT is why i do not frequent general Black oriented sites unless they are Black women empowerment sites. I will be happy to list a bunch of links to places where you can go and converse with Black women in a safe place without having to read the garbage and nonsense that happens at Black oriented sites.

                  Actually the questions you should be asking yourself is why these Black sites are not doing anything about it?? That is why they go there because they can!

                  No racist WM, lunatic BW hating Black men or anyone else can come on THIS SITE spewing their nonsense. that is because I take measures to protect my blog and audience from that. So do other BW oriented sites like mine.

                  BE EMPOWERED.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:49:14

                and just i hate getting dragged into stuff that has nothing to do with us…it takes a lot of restraint for me to not say stuff…sometimes you just can’t help but speak up, but at the same time it takes a lot of energy out of you

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:57:05

                  If you hate it, then you need to empower yourself and stop going t places that have ZERO interst in protecting the Black women that go there. The problem is the sites unwillingness to put measures in place to protect their Black female audience. Well if they allow anything and anyone to just come on there and say what they want, then whose the real culprit?

                  If you are going to places where you shouldn’t be, then you need to ask yourself why you keep going there and stressing yourself out.

                  You need to be more empowered as a Black woman. A lot of BW do not know how to empower themselves and protect themselves against the things they claim cause them pain.

                  You and I are different, but i also have my boiling point and know when to step away. I may have a thicker skin, but i know where I can also keep my sanity in check which means checking MYSEF and saying to myself – step away and find mroe productive things and places to go to.

                  Its really up to you and us as BW in the end.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 20:00:50

                *oh well*

                got that off my chest, i’m done arguing with crazy people like that foolish CH

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            • Peanut
              Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:50:03

              with that being said I’m done with Heartiste and taking a break from that stuff for a while.

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              • Neecy
                Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:58:45

                How about taking a break from it permanently????

                This blog is my therapy. I like taking the things that make me angry and writing about it and encouraging other BW to understand what they need to do.

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                • Peanut
                  Sep 16, 2013 @ 20:06:28

                  It’s impossible to take a permanent break because sooner or later it comes in my face again, even if i actively try to avoid, which i do most of the time

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                  • Neecy
                    Sep 16, 2013 @ 20:12:52

                    hmmm. well i listed at the end of the comments some alternative places you can go to avoid those thing. Its up to you if you choose to go there. But don’t go with negativity and asking about why BM will or won’t do this because these places are EMPOWERMENT places. not places for BW to be victims. I’m posting them for you hoping you go with a positive mind and spirit. But if you aren’t please do not go to them b/c they are not about Black woman victimhood nor and I mean NOR are they places to discuss why Black men will or won’t do things. LOL just forewarning.

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  8. Peanut
    Sep 16, 2013 @ 16:37:20

    and Heartiste has openly admitted that he feels sexually intimidated by Black women and clearly intimidated sexually by Black men. He even wrote in one of his blog posts that he didn’t think he could compete sexually with Black men, so I think that says it all right there…insecurity in his manhood.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 16, 2013 @ 18:38:45

      What post was this?? LOL Explains everything. But that does make sense. RACIST White men are RACIST because of this in many cases. They do not feel they can measure up. The only way they can cope with this is by being racist. White men who are not racist are comfortable in their manhood and do not feel inadequate as men even when compared to other races. That’s the difference between the Heartiste’s and his followers of the world and non racist White men.

      Racism is driven by FEAR. It makes complete sense to me that racist weak and inadequate White males like Heartiste and many of his followers are struggling with their manhood because they can barely be successful with their own race of women let alone others.

      It would also make sense as to why they lash out at Black women because as you said many of them may feel some sexual intimidation there as well.

      It sad because they don’t seem to see that no one wants to be with insecure racist men – not even MOST WHite women. While WHite women can and are racist, they are not on the same level of many racist insecure WHite males.

      I would really like to read that post you are referring to so if you can link it I would appreciate it.

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      • Peanut
        Sep 16, 2013 @ 19:06:08

        in his post about interracial dating, he said he didn’t think he would be able to “hit the bottom,” of the black woman he was with, but was surprised when he did and in another post about “slutty women,” he had a picture on the bottom of a bunch of little white p*nises and one big black p*nis, the picture that he posted coupled with that comment about the black woman tells me that, in his mind, he feels that he cannot compete sexually with Black men…I think this is sexual insecurity at the root of it

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  9. Neecy
    Sep 16, 2013 @ 20:07:16

    Peanut I am going to list some links of more positive Black women upliftment places that you can go to and not have to deal with this. You can choose to go or keep going to the places that make you crazy, but this is the only other advice I can offer.

    Although I do not frequent this site anymore b/c some of the writers and posters annoy me, I think its still a great place for Black women like youself to go to because its *for the most part* kinda uplifting. At times they can get a bit annoying with the topics, but its a SAFE PLACE.

    beyondblackandwhite.com

    Some of these sites are labled IR dating sites but a lot of the discussions are really about empowering Black women. So even if you do not have any interest in IR dating, you can still walk away with some great tools on how to empower yourself as a Black woman. And you will never be fed to the wolves because of these sites take great measures to keep the filth out and keep it a safe place for Black women to talk amongst themselves (sometimes there are even WHite men on these blogs contributing in positive ways)

    notyourgirlfriday.wordpress.com (one of my FAVS) She is awesome!

    black women’s interracial dating circle

    Musilm Bushido

    Acts of faith in Love and life

    Black female interracial magazine e zine

    Betty Chambers Has spoken

    Married Girl in a Weird World

    What about our daughters

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    • Peanut
      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:08:31

      thank you for the lists and I think that you and not your girl friday could be definitely onto something about why more Black men wont’ defend Black women, it could be because they want Black women to remain beneath them, not only to advance their own interests, but because if Black women are portrayed as the least desirable, it makes it easier for them to control us. I’ve heard Black men (a minority of Black men) who have said that Black men “are our only option” because no one wants us, so we better do what they want…I’ve heard that multiple times from Black men who bash Black women, so I think it’s about control too, but again I do not think the majority of Black men think this way.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:13:11

        Well I’m gonna say I KNOW for a FACT notyourgirlfriday as well as a boatload of other *ENLIGHTENED* BW are 10000% correct in their assessments as to why BM will not fight for or protect BW.

        BM as a COLLECTIVE (yes that means the MAJORITY) are out for themselves. Their actions as a group speak for itself. Can’t understand how no Black woman cannot see this with their own eyes. They could care less about BW and actually get very upset if they feel BW are surpassing them in anything.

        If you cannot see this as a measure of control, then I’m not sure what more there is to say.

        You are entitled to believe that *not enough* Black men feel this way, but honestly I think waaay too many BW are in denial about this b/c its too painful and scary to realize the truth.

        Let go of that Black man comfort Blanket sweetie. it doesn’t exist!

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        • Peanut
          Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:23:55

          well it’s hard for me to completely agree, though I definitely think that is true partly for some Black men, because I have two older brothers who are Black men, they’ve always looked out for me, I have a wonderful Black father, so I couldn’t say it was the majority when that hasn’t been my reality. I think that what NYGF said makes a lot of sense and I agree that for some Black men it is about control and insecure black men love for black women to be beneath them. I agree with that, but i’m optimistic in the sense that i would hope more Black men are like my brothers/father and when they see a Black woman being demeaned and mistreated, they would see other Black women as a brother would see his sister and protect her.

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          • Peanut
            Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:26:50

            but u could be right though, most people are selfish, so it would benefit black men as a collective to have bw beneath them sorta.

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            • Chrissy
              Sep 22, 2013 @ 04:37:16

              Hi

              This is my first time commenting on this website. I usually just browse, but I wanted to post this video to what this woman is saying:

              This video is speaking to what Neecy said about people that suck and the lack of protection Black women have. Black women…we are really on our own. It might bother some but it is not a small minority of black men who bash black women.

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              • Neecy
                Sep 23, 2013 @ 20:39:00

                HI CHRISSY!!
                Thank you for posting this video! This woman (despite the bad camera lighting and angles LOL) is speaking NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH!! I am so glad more and more BW are awakening to the reality that is before us. As they say “The truth will set you free”. The moment it really kicks in more BW will be free and less burdened with the BS.

                The BW who continue to be in denial will only be hurting themselves down the line. Because they will still be hoping on a dream, wing and prayer for something thast will never happen.

                It feels good to be free and to also understand what we are up against. I feel like when you CLEARLY know what is at play you have the power to do things to make your life as a Black woman better.

                And like you said, it is simply not just a minority of Black males. Its more like the MAJORITY who diminish BW with a minority who don’t.

                My next post on living well will go into detail about this.

                Once again thanks for the vid link!

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  10. stephaniegirl
    Sep 16, 2013 @ 23:33:45

    I agree. Men like heartiste, Limbaugh, Steve Sailer, Roosh V, David Yeagley, Libertyblog, Kanazawa get a rise in bashing us sistas is because they don’t have what it takes to be a man. May I add, they are afraid of women in general. Racism and sexism goes hand in hand.

    S. Baldwin

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    • Neecy
      Sep 17, 2013 @ 06:48:46

      ^ THIS! And then add in the fact that its just *EASY* to target Black women because they know Black men don’t even care, it gives them even more motivation to spew their pathetic garbage.

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  11. Trackback: To the Question of Why… And, How to Remain Blissfully Neutral | NotYourGirlFriday
  12. Mike
    Sep 17, 2013 @ 16:28:28

    The reason I found this site is because of some string of comments you made in one of heartiste’s posts a year or so ago. You were being savaged pretty badly by some of the posters but you didn’t seem to let it bother you and went ahead making your own arguments and points, even though the level of viciousness in their attacks on you was pretty high.

    I was impressed and wanted to check you out, so that’s why I’m here.

    However I’ve long since stopped reading the comments at heartiste’s site. I still go to read his posts, but going through the comments is sometimes like sliding in mud; there may be a brief thrill to it but you wind up feeling dirty for a long time afterward.

    What post was it that got you riled up? I think in that particular case, I might feel like getting dirty again.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 17, 2013 @ 17:43:28

      Hey Mike!!

      Its a post he wrote maybe 10 down from his latest in which he wrote a poem on a PHOTOSHOPPED picture. The picture showed The Princess of Spain Letizia, and the French Prime Ministers wife Carla Bruni and Michelle Obama (from behind) walking up a pair of steps. The original non photoshopped photo is that of the French and Spain first ladies. The Pic of Michelle Obama was added and photoshoppped to be next to the other two. Its also obvious the other two women’s bodies were photoshopped as well.

      So being the TOTAL BETA he is (and I am being nice here because he is actually borderline OMEGA) the intent was not JUST to WORSHIP the two WHite women (something that total BETAS DO), but to throw a Black woman in the mix so he could bash her and compare her to the other two which was totally unecessary since the original photo did not have Michelle Obama on it.

      He made this ridiculous poem and then made nasty remarks comparing Michelle Obama to the other two women who were “more thin and shapley”. Referring to her as an “ugly Black mamma”.

      So when i logged back on I went over there to look through the topics and saw that post and got mad. Of course what followed were your typical number of “Black women are ugly” comments. So Although no one was posting on it anymore (because it was like 7 posts old) I made a comment and posted a pic of a very attractive non mixed looking Black woman named Brandi Reed. I did it to basically say STFU, because here is Brandi a full looking Black woman that ALL OF THEM know they would sell their left leg to be with. And when I made it I said, they can’t claim her as a “half” because she has no White in her.

      So heartiste saw the comment, looked at the photos of her and came back with “she may not have any White in her, but her nose is straight out of Prussia” IOW’s she had a “WHITE” nose. Insinuating that she is only attractive because of her more Whitish straight nose.

      So I retorted that her having a small and/or “WHite looking nose” made her less Black, as Angelina Jolie having full lips made her less WHite. He got pissed off because he got put on blast and b/c I read through his bullshit. He came back saying he wasn’t going to respond to me further b/c I have obvious poor reading comprehension (as if I didn’t understand what he was saying with the comment about her nose). I came back and basically outlines that what he did was TYPICAL of racist Whites who simply cannot ever give a obvious beautiful Black woman credit for being beautiful without them trying to find something “whitish” on her to *JUSTIFY* them having to admit she’s attractive.

      He closed the comments after he and I went back and forth and he wanted the last word so he made nasty comment about Michelle Obama and Black women, then like a coward closed the comments so I couldn’t respond back. LOL

      His WHite woman worshiping is a major clue that he is still very Beta. But he damn sure can play it off with his writing.

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      • Mike
        Sep 17, 2013 @ 18:36:49

        Wait, he actually closed the comments to shut you up? I would have to say that’s impressive.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 17, 2013 @ 18:52:10

          LOL YES!

          No one was commenting anymore on the post because it was pretty old.

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          • Peanut
            Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:20:48

            that was something else that he made those rude comments about MO/ BLack women, then stormed off and closed the comments like a petulant child, that was pretty funny…

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            • Neecy
              Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:26:21

              Did you see he went back and added some more comments – Saying that no one said all Black women were ugly and that no one said there was no beautiful black women, but that in comparison to other races BW don’t have as many in porportion etc etc. yada yada. Same shit different twist.

              I am even okay with them feeling that way b/c they are entitled to their opinions. But there is a way to say things and they are too immature to even have a decent quality discussion about this other than making assinine blatant racist comments about BW.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:31:23

                I think they just need to leave Black women out of their mouths, stop comparing us, we’re not their concern…we’re not even associated with them, so what do they care?

                saying in general we’re less attractive is just his opinion, that is my thing…he needs to state that it is HIS opinion and stop trying to pass it off as objective truth that is my issue.

                Where did he add those ignorant comments cuz I didn’t see?

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            • Neecy
              Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:28:38

              Here is what he added after he closed the comments b/c it wasn’t there earlier.
              [CH: There’s no point discussing anything with you, because your ego is too butthurt to accept reason into your life. But for the studio audience, it is useful to make an example of your immunity to straight talk. So, to wit: No one at CH is saying that there are no beautiful black women. What we ARE saying is that there are fewer attractive black women as a proportion of their total population compared to the proportion of attractive women in non-black races. About the only races that have a larger percentage of ugly women are aborigines and amazonian jungle tribes.]

              He’s full of shit. I actually would have ZERO problem with them saying this in a respectful manner, b/c then it would simply be their opinion which they are entitled to. Its their delivery that pisses me off.

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              • Peanut
                Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:33:29

                yeah that comment is full of sh-t. i agree, he needs to state that it’s his opinion and then stop bringing up black women at all. what purpose does it serve to even bring us into the discussion…if we’re not attractive to you, then just shut up about us already…

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                • Neecy
                  Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:36:59

                  Like I said. its his blog and if we are there, we’re on his turf so he can say whatever he pleases on HIS blog. That’s just the reality. So its his right to push his agenda and/or opinion.

                  That is why i said, we shouldn’t even be there b/c its not a place for us and if we don’t like his opinions or topics, we are the ones who need to accpet them and leave.

                  Technically we don’t really have a right to even be arguing with him or his commenters on that blog b/c its a blog for WHITE MEN looking to get laid by WHITE WOMEN. LOL

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                  • Peanut
                    Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:40:31

                    that is the thing though if it’s a blog for white men trying to get laid by white women, then what in the heck do black women even have to do with that? how do we enter into the equation at all…that’s what gets me.

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                    • Neecy
                      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:45:43

                      it doesn’t matter!! Its HIS blog and they can talk about whatever they want. its just that he allows others who disagree with him to post their opposing views. Which we did.

                      but really at the end of the day technically, if they want to talk about Black women till the day is long, its THEIR RIGHT because its HIS BLOG and its not a place for WOMEN or BLACK WOMEN. SO if we are there we have to accept that there are going to be some things we completely hate and disagree with. I accpeted that a long time ago when I decided to post there.

                      There are other women who post there as well who also have to accept the sometimes vulgar woman hating discussions. Its like really we shouldn’t be there AT ALL.

                      I think this is the lesson we should be learning here.

                      Stay away from places not for us and we don’t have to even know they are talking about BW.

                      Look I am guilty of it! But i recognize now, we do not really have a right to even be there arguing back and forth with him b/c its HIS BLOG and his right to post whatever he wants.

                      Now if he were claiming it was a blog for Black woman empowerment and upliftment and we were frequeting there and saw those kinds of posts, then of course we were baited.

                      But you and i both know NO WOMAN let alone BLAVCK WOMAN should even be on that site at all!

                      Just saying.

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                    • Peanut
                      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:49:28

                      no, i agree with you. it’s not healthy to be there, even if technically we have a right to be there, it’s not healthy…i agree.

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                  • Peanut
                    Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:44:51

                    and i gotta say, how in the heck does he know that there are proportionally less attractive aboriginal women, has he even been around enough aboriginal women to make that assertion…I doubt very much that he has, so he’s just riding on sh-t for that comment.

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                    • Neecy
                      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:48:33

                      Peanut! Woo girl you just don’t give up! LOL

                      Lemme say this again. ITS. HIS. OPINION. Do not try to dissect it. ITS HIS OPINION. He has a right to his OPINION. Is it a shitty assinine opinion? YES. But its his opinion and there is no sense in trying to figure it out, or make wind of it. ITS HIS OPINION.

                      LOL! *jesus take the wheel!*

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                    • Peanut
                      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:50:21

                      I agree with you neecy, it is his opinion, he pretends it’s the objective truth, but it’s his opinion and i’m done with that blog…it’s not healthy.

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                    • Neecy
                      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:59:16

                      YAY!!!! We both learned a valuable lesson today after talking it out. LOL

                      So from here on out, we are avoiding spaces that we know are not healthy?

                      YAY for us!!!

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                  • Peanut
                    Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:46:53

                    I think that technically if you post your thoughts on a blog and you talk ignorant stuff about certain racial groups, people should be ALLOWED to come on and voice their opinions, the blog owner may delete or close the comments, but people can come on and express their opinions and that is within their right, the question isn’t (From my perspective) whether or not we have a right to respond, it’s whether or not it’s healthy for us as Black women to respond and try to fight such nonsense again and again, i personally don’t think it’s healthy any more…

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                    • Neecy
                      Sep 17, 2013 @ 19:52:15

                      You are right about the latter part. But actually no one has a right to go on anyone’s blog arguing against their opinions UNLESS the blog owner allows it.

                      And because Heartiste allows dissenting opinions even against his opinions, yes people like us show up and argue against what he is saying.

                      But at the end of the day, technically if we hate what he says, we already know what the site is about and we shouldn’t even BE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

                      its not a woman friendly site and that is clear from almost EVERY topic and by a lot of what the commenters say. Its their space to be crude, racist, sexist, homophobics and everything else. SO anyone joining int he discussions already knows what they have signed up for.

                      If we are not there, we do not know what they are talking about. Right?

                      Yes. that means we as BW need to start AVOIDING spaces we know are not healthy for us. And I am talking to MYSELF here as well b/c I know better.

                      Like

    • Neecy
      Sep 17, 2013 @ 17:53:14

      The post is called “WOMEN”

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    • Neecy
      Sep 17, 2013 @ 18:27:48

      And you know Mike, the crazy thing is, the commenters didn’t even bother me so much even back in the day when I first started there b/c I already knew what 90% of their problem was. I met some pretty cool guys from there who came to this blog and contributed (Omerta, you and a few others). After awhile, they got used to me being there realized I wasn’t going away and became pretty chill. I actually enjoyed going to Heartiste’s after that and just making fly by comments and having fun.

      But then he started getting really bad with topics about race and race baiting for his obvious stormfront members and showing a very racist and paranoid side to him in the last year or so.

      Honestly, I think the site has some good things but once he started race baiting, it lost a lot of its appeal. There are actually things that I did learn from heartiste’s once I was able to sort the bullshit from what i felt was actual good stuff to know.

      I agreed with a lot of his ideas on MODERN DAY feminism and how it has contributed negativley somewhat to our current culture where women have lost a lot of their feminine appeal.

      Its too bad that so many of the commenters and now even he take away from interesting topics.

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  13. Mike
    Sep 18, 2013 @ 06:00:58

    I went back and read that topic and the comments (well a lot of them- hey it was almost 500 comments!) and I have a little more perspective on how you were feeling and the anger you had in your original post.

    First, you have a right to your anger. As you’ve pointed out, it’s not a woman friendly, and particularly not a black woman friendly place. Not that there aren’t things worthwhile in the posts there; hey I read them and think some of them are worthwhile. The comments usually less so although the blog owner will occasionally find some worthwhile nuggets there and highlight them. That said, there was another poster there who was helping to keep that particular side topic open. It wasn’t all one sided.

    Secondly, for some reason there seems to be a certain number of posters at “game” sites that are also HBD’ers as well. I don’t know why that is, but if you had a Venn Diagram of Game sites and HBD sites, you would probably see a certain percentage of overlap in posters. So game sites are going to have a built in audience of people for the kind of mean spirited racial backbiting that this post had in it’s comments.

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  14. Mitsouko
    Sep 19, 2013 @ 08:52:09

    I’m finding Athol Kay’s forum far more interesting re male and girl game.

    Neecy you have backbone. I simply wouldn’t play in a nest of vipers.

    Living and ageing very well in this corner. Lets continue our sojourn.

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  15. Mitsouko
    Sep 20, 2013 @ 01:38:58

    Another dynamic that could be at play here involves the obsession many low status white men have with black male sexuality.

    Many wm believe they cannot compete with bm sexually. And in the main bw are signalling they are right to believe they cannot compete with a bm. It becomes a defensive move then to bash the bw than to admit this inferior complex (she’d never go for me so I’m going to dis her instead).

    I’ve had bw friends tell me that one of the first things their white boyfriends needed to confirm was whether they measured up. Others have told me that wm are surprised when a bw responds favourably to their advances.

    So I’m not surprised that men who have little to no success in the sexual market place (I’m assuming this is why they flock to PUA sites) would rather waste time denigrating a whole group of women they claim to have no interest in. It simply isn’t alpha is it.

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    • Peanut
      Sep 20, 2013 @ 06:05:04

      at the risk of being insensitive, i have had white men tell me they were insecure about their size before too. I kinda feel a little sorry for them. There is more to being a good lover than just being well endowed.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 20, 2013 @ 23:54:21

        WHite men said that to you? Interesting, I can’t imagine a man telling another race of woman they feel inadequate to their race of men. Yeah that’s pretty sad.

        I have had the opposite experience since I do date White men. I find those discussions don’t come up b/c these are WM who are comfortable within themselves and their sexuality as men.

        Most of the WM my friends date as well don’t bring Black men or their sexuality up because they know they have what it takes.

        Men who don’t will bash women who they feel they don’t stand a chance with anyway.

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        • Peanut
          Sep 22, 2013 @ 17:00:09

          my friend said that she couldn’t get comfortable having sex with white men. It was hard for her to get to that level with her white SO for some reason…

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    • Peanut
      Sep 20, 2013 @ 06:19:40

      I definitely do think there is some sexual envy of Black men going on there. I’ve seen many white men write about how they get extremely jealous/competitive about Black men sexuality.

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      • Neecy
        Sep 20, 2013 @ 23:56:29

        All White men aren’t like this. I’ve been around with and dated some pretty confident ones. In fact the crazy WHite men I have mostly experienced have been ONLINE.

        But yeah the obvious RACIST ones and ones who can’t attract the kinds of WW they want definitely have some issues with their sexuality.

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    • Peanut
      Sep 20, 2013 @ 20:44:00

      boo yeah!

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    • Neecy
      Sep 20, 2013 @ 23:51:45

      @ MITSOUKO

      Very good observation. Remember Racist people are racist our of FEAR. Fear which can result in hate.

      Men who feel inadequate and less than men will always find women to hate on.

      I do feel that when a particualr gender group bashes the opposite gender be it racially or sexually its because certain members of that gender feel they do not have a chance anyway with that other gender so they may as well bash them.

      Now of course it also makes sense as to why they do not direct their real angers and frsutrations to WHite women. That’s because they still feel some ability to be with White women and therefore completely bashing them would place them further out of the potential dating pool of White women who they fare the most chances with.

      Black men who bash Black women bash b/c they too feel inadequate as men.

      When certain men bash women it always boils down to feeling less than a man and feelings of inadequacy.

      Notice men who love women are very High value and never have any problems attracting any kinds of women.

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  16. gweerw
    Oct 02, 2013 @ 09:21:43

    *applauds with standing ovation*

    Your critical thinking and analysis on this is not only spot on but clinical. Meaning, being that I am a psychologist, this is exactly one of the theories we realize is the cause of prejudice: when an individual has been devalued by authority, society or a parent or guardian who may have experienced abuse verbally or physically or mentally. In other words, those that do not feel complete in themselves will find a group to target because the implication is, “I have to find and target someone or some group that is “less than” me. I can’t be the lowest form of individual in existence”

    In this case, the target: Black Women. The targeter: compromised psychological individual that needs to blame someone for their seemingly shortcomings. In counseling, when an individual blames someone or some group for their downfall in life, we can almost ascertain this individual has not had healthy relationships or been rejected by society, a parent or both. Because we know logically, noone is the blame for anyone’s outlook on life, no matter the circumstances unless you allow it or if it consumes you with this flawed thought.

    Excellent piece Neecy, I’m a fan!

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    • Neecy
      Oct 02, 2013 @ 21:49:38

      HI GWEEERE!!!

      Thank you so much for your supportive words!

      Yes. If more Black women realized and understood the root of why we are always hated on, many would just laugh that nonsense off and shake their heads in pity for the fools. Because truly that is what it is – INADEQUATE people looking to deflect their inadequacy onto an easier target so they do not have to fix what is wrong with them.

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  17. gweerw
    Oct 02, 2013 @ 22:40:12

    You’re welcome!

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  18. Jam
    Jul 04, 2015 @ 04:27:05

    I’m not around any of this. I’m not in denial. I am always treated well out in public. My last two relationships were of different races. My ex husband is black. I don’t discriminate. I think if people in general didn’t come from a scarce mentality as opposed to an abundant mentality then they wouldn’t spend much time on thinking they’re at the bottom of the totem pole, for lack of a better expression. But then again, I don’t do social media sites, I do blog and write books. I have two daughters who both take ballet, second languages, etc. I am also an avid yogi, 3-5 times a week. I’m a computer science professor during the school year. I don’t have time to care if a few black men are bad mouthing black women they don’t know. There are so many out there. You have to adore yourself first then the good ones show up. Then you get to decide if you even want them or not. I also don’t do online dating any more, its too seeky. I find the men to not be together. I’d rather be alone. And when I am, like right now, I don’t walk around moaning about it, or worrying about who’s wrong about me. Its a wasted battle. Surround yourself with a more positive environment. Like, what do you read, what do you watch, are you only interested in dating black men, what kind of music are you listening to, do you let commercials play all day, are you following people on Instagram or something else that make you feel this way? What is it? We are in control of our environment and everything we let penetrate it. I enjoyed your writing. You know, black Americans make up less than 13% of the population, so its a very small amount of black men bad-mouthing black women. “When it comes to married brothers with six-figure annual incomes, 83 percent of them tied the knot with a sister, according to Toldson’s census research. In fact, 85 percent of black male college graduates wed black women, and 88 percent of married black men – of all education and income levels – have black wives.Aug 16, 2013” Google

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  19. Jam
    Jul 04, 2015 @ 04:47:45

    This is a great article too. The scarcity of black men for marriage is a myth. http://racerelations.about.com/od/diversitymatters/a/Four-Myths-About-Black-Marriage.htm I know your post is older, but i have been researching this topic for some writing I plan to do. 😉

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  20. Irene
    Jan 25, 2016 @ 07:53:42

    I am white Puerto Rican mix and this topic drains me. White men and black men only see me as a an item for sex. I have experienced from both sides the conquest aspect and discard from both. I have always maintained that I have respect for myself in this regard and have basically given up on dealing with either of them. There are a large portion of men that have deep anger towards women for reasons I will explain.
    Men of both races view women as objects and if you may trophies. In my experience most men (not all),want a woman their male competition has envy for. Somewhere in European past, most likely as far back as ancient Greece, women with brown tan skin were viewed as not wealthy , having to work outside in fields, so that their skin would tan. Women of that time and low class status were often raped or forced to have relations with men of power. Serfdom in the middle ages also has this stereotype. The social hierarchy would not allow men in high station to marry women of low class standing, because of their issuea with purity of her womb, since low class women were most likely voiceless in circumstances of rape, patrial lineage was indeterminable. High status dis not necessarily protect women from rape, but if she came from a wealthy family, it was less likely .
    Now fast forward to colonialism in the Americas and this ideal woman stereotype has morphed into separate race standards to assert a defined power structure of a permanent underclass of women. With super blonde light eyes women becoming the trophies that assert a man’s station among other men. With consistent rape of women of color, not just black women, but any women that have darker skin, with the exception of dark women that come from upper class status being the rarer more exotic trophies.
    As a non pure white, i have lived in all white communities and realized that I will always have lower rank to other white women. As a Puerto Rican, I will always have a lower rank because I am not pure Puerto Rican, and forget about fitting in when I was the minority in a group of black women. Black women have made it clear to me that I should know my place more ferociously than other races, understandably so, because of this racial hierarchy artificial construct. No matter how dedicated I was to my black friendships, there was always the pushy black man that had to have a trophy, shamefully it would be me that he would zone in on. I would have black men rush at me asking if I am Puerto Rican after looking at my behind. That disgusted me and distressed me. It made me feel awful for my mother and grandmother that this is what men see. White men are always a bit more timid about that kind of approach, but they do it too, albeit more subtly.
    Now what I see in all of this is pitting women against each other. We live in a society where rapes are still under reported. Where sexual harassment still occurs, even though we can hypothetically compete with men for equal jobs.
    I see men of all of these races looking for a trophy to make other men envy them. I see men of all of these races trying to subjugate women to serve them. Black men don’t have better game, they are just more persistent. White men in the U.S. give up quicker and are more spoiled with entitlement issues, their forefathers exploited women more easily than they can. They tend to be softer and don’t have to work as hard, so they lack that primal masculinity that men that do work hard have regardless of race. There are just more soft dumpy white men.
    In a country where there are many fewer black men to start, and then with so many that get incarcerated (thousands unjustly so), of course the stereotype would be that a path to a better standard of living would be to hook up with white women than women of color. This is a race issue that has to be tackled at the source of hierarchy stereotyping more than just women fighting and pitting against each other. The saying divide and conquer is true for this. Women need to stop participating in this object game. It makes me furious when i see women participate in that shenanigans, because we need to stick together to stop it.

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