Where there is SMOKE, there is usually a FIRE!
Happy New year everyone!! I know I have been gone a minute but with the holidays and moving and my computer still not working right, I didn’t really have the time to devote to the blog in the later part of last year and first part of this year. I really do miss blogging because you know this is my passion. So while I may have dropped off, I am never going away because this is my HEART. Sometimes othe things get in the way, but I will never abandon yall! LOL
Anyway, I want to start my first post of the New year on something extremely important for intelligent and progressive BW to be aware of and to focus on. GASLIGHTING.
Black women have to be verrrry careful these days because there is MAJOR Gaslighting attempts to keep Black women in their place. And those gaslighters are of the same hue and race AND sometimes GENDER. Many are Black women who are still holding onto a wing and a prayer STRING and a HAIR, on the idea that because they know a ton of intact and functional whole Black people, that this zeros out the extensive dysfunction faced in the BC which Black women and girls are often the unfortunate beneficiaries of.
I have yet to see any other group of women be so blatantly against seeing themselves as a collective prosper than Black women. It’s really disheartening! I mean you have so many BW who are just stubborn and refuse to wakethehellup because of their own lack of critical thinking and being able to think outside the “BLACK BOX” that they will do any and everything to harass, demean and bemoan anything a Black women does that is not within the realm of FREEDOM FIGHTING for her race and people or MEN.
Remember folks: it has ALWAYS and will ALWAYS be the male of a culture and community and race (in FUNCTIONAL communities and races – key word FUNCTIONAL) who is left to uphold and fight to retain his race by protecting the women and children of his communities. Once the male of a culture and race has LEFT and has no desire to do such and expects the women to do it, IT’S A WRAP! You can keep on fighting, clawing, and doormating yourself till death do you part, but you will NEVER EVER see any real results of improvement of progress until the MALE of a race or culture has it in his groin, abdomen, heart to fight to protect and uphold the goodness in his women and children and communities.
Examples of gaslighting Black women who keep holding onto a wing and a prayer STRING and a HAIR are Black women who:
n Use purple unicorn incidents of non-dysfunction in the BC as examples of why BW should ignore BWE and others who are telling them to look at the BIGGER PICTURE and common dysfunction in the BC that are affecting BW near and far and ESCAPE.
n Use their own personal lives as some sort of example or PROOF that BW should not fret nor worry about those talking about the overall dysfunction and dangers of remaining in a community that neglects the needs and safety and progress of its women (i.e. “There are no single parents, dead beat dads *IN MY FAMILY Or SOCIAL Circle* THEREFORE, all that other dysfunctional stuff people are talking is just because they don’t have what I have!
n Focus on the 1-5% of Good BM who raise their kids, don’t have baby mommas and who love them some “dark skinnded sistas” as some sort of reason why BW should not expand their options because they know of several good BM who fit that profile (of course that means the majority and therefore many BW should ignore the obvious large percentage of BM who are not quality mates or fathers and focus on the 1-5% who are probably already married and in functional relationships). LOL. Oh wait, Black women looove man-sharing their KANGS!
n Black women who keep coming up with REASONS EXCUSES to keep supporting, throwing their money, resources, time and support into Black men preying on the ignorance and non-critical thinking of the majority of BW by selling them books about BLACK LOVE (yet traveling the globe on expensive vacays with Non Black girlfriends and wives( LMFAO *Hill Harper you devil you!* 😈 ), movies and plays that are basically giving them the finger, by supporting networks, TV shows and entertainers who are using BW for net gain and then dumping them alongside the road with the rest of the roadkill once they get what they needed from BW.
n BW who keep thinking that if they go out there and sister soldier & MAMMY for the Black community and Black men that ONE DAY, the favor will be returned.
n BW who LIE and try to use progressive BW’s messaging as some sort of insane irrational exploit because “we don’t know good Black men or people”
The list goes on but I will spare you further headache.
But the bullet points are CLEAR examples of the typical gas lighting that so many other clueless non critical and COMFORTABLE in the PIG SLOP BW will give and use to tear down a BW progressive message that tells BW *WHERE THERE IS SMOKE, THERE IS USUALLY FIRE.*
It’s easy for me to sit here and talk about how much of a decent life I have had. How I came from two loving parents and a whole family (although my parents divorced young, my dad still played a major part in my upbringing and life with his love and many contributions materially, emotionally). I could go on and on about how I have not experienced the pain and dysfucntion that many other BW have. I can go on about how I never experienced rejection from Black men because I fit the “color spectrum” of what they tend to desire most.
YES we get it. There are plenty of Black women and people who did not grow up in or apart of the typical Black community dysfunction, who may not have dealt with the unfortunate end of colorism, who are not single moms, who are not products of single parent homes, who have wonderful Black fathers and men in THEIR fAMILY! But just because you didn’t grow up in or around it, didn’t experience it, doesn’t mean you are not affected in some way.
I’m of a lighter shade. I don’t know what it’s like to be put down for my skin shade as a darker hued BW may have experienced. Or being rejected by my own race of men due to my skin shade. But does that mean as a BW I shouldn’t CARE!??? Just because it may not affect me directly, doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect me as a BW indirectly. I could have a child with a Non Black man who may take the skin tome of my mom or some other dark skinned woman in my family. Maybe my mother is darker than I and I do not want anyone putting down dark skinned BW because they are in my blood line and life. Or maybe I just think its FUCKINGSTUPID and SHITTY and INSANE to base beauty of a damn skin shade!
I can come up with a whole host of reasons why just because something doesn’t or hasn’t affected you DIRECTLY doesn’t mean you cannot be affected INDIRECTLY in some way. And even if you may never experience another person’s pain or suffering, some people are just BORN to give a damn and want to make a difference no matter what kind of good life or great life they have and have had!
Example. Many of the BW in the BWE movement are mainly educated and many come from non-dysfunctional environments. Many had loving Black fathers and Black men in their own families and personal lives. Many have no OOW kids and are not single mothers and therefore have not struggled like the average single Black mother has financially or such. Does that mean we cannot look at THE BIGGER PICTURE and see what is going on outside of our lives and want to try to help other BW get to greener pastures and safer pastures and rational and non dysfunctional pastures???
The point I am making is, just because someone doesn’t experience something DIRECTLY doesn’t mean that shouldn’t care about those who are experiencing something negative directly or even acknowledge how not addressing a larger phenomenon can and often does seep into the lives of BW as a whole no matter how good of a life they had growing up or are currently living. No matter how educated they are. No matter how loving and whole of a family they came from.
We see every day the remnants of what happens when BW do not address critical issues and problems affecting us collectively. I have a great life and have been very blessed. But I also feel the pain and struggle of being a BW in America who as a collective is often seen as invaluable because of WHAT I am and not WHO I am.
When the studies come out of Black women this and that, those studies are looking to BW as a collective. When we see young Black women not succeeding, being used, abused and kicked around, it may not directly affect me or Black women as a whole, but indirectly all BW suffer when we are not seeking to improve our collective agenda and lives for ourselves, the current and future generations.
When we continue to allow colorism to prevail (in which BW are usually the biggest sufferers), BW to be demeaned in media and public, to be shown as one dimensional, ALL BLACK WOMEN LOSE. No matter her economic status, skin shade, education or lack thereof!
So this is why BW bloggers like myself, Khadija, OLS (not your girl Friday), Christelyn (Beyond Black and White), Evia and a host of other BW bloggers seek to reach out to Black women FAR and WIDE and encourage each other to do whatever they can to make the best lives for THEMSELVES.
And for us critical thinking BW that means REMOVING THYN SELF from dysfunctional people, communities and thinking. Because the more BW doing what is best for SELF, moving away from dysfunction and crabs in a barrel mentality that holds them back as an individual and person, means more BW doing better COLLECTIVLEY, which means more BW able to counteract the negativity and BS that we are constantly bombarded with, means more Black women and girls living better more prosperous and SAFE lives.
You know I always think about that motto – “TOGETHER WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL”. Let me be clear. I have no interest in standing with clueless, careless, sister soldiers, hateful, jealous, idiotic, racist, Black women who are happy to continue to try to put sugar over shit and pretend that all is really well with Black women and Black people. That may be true in other parts of the world, but here in A-MER-IC-A – Black women have a lot of work to do for ourselves and our collective to prosper better than what we are doing now. And fortunately or unfortunately, (depending on how you look at it) it will be the critical thinking BRAVE, out of the box thinking Black women who will make that difference!
The problem is many Black people don’t like their dirty laundry aired and when they see BW like me or BWE bloggers doing just that, they get pissed! That means they gotta actually take a look within and cannot point the finger to anyone or any other group like WHITE PEEPLES and play the victim. When they aren’t doing that, they start their gaslighting BS talking about the purple unicorns and RARE examples of goodness as a way to DEFLECT from the major issues nad problems that need to be addressed head on.
Self relflection and improvement is a hard thing! And Black people got it BAAD. Well I dontgiveashit, I’m calling a spade a spade as are many growing CONCERNED critical thinking BW who want to see our collective PROSPER and stop regressing!
The way the world works and how things improve is not by people sitting on their own hind legs and asses waxing poetic about how *THEY* don’t know dysfunction because they haven’t been personally exposed to it, and focusing simply on the life they have had and the people they know and using that as some measuring stick to flick away obviousness of WHERE THERE IS SMOKE, THERE IS USUALLY FIRE.
GOOD and positive change comes from people who no matter their experiences, are willing to try to do their part in helping others – be it opening their eyes to things that are dangerous, non-progressive or physically stepping in and making a difference. For some of the BWE bloggers and BW TRYING to do their part in reaching and throwing a life vest to BW, simply using the internet as our voice is how we are trying to combat and do our part. Others may get in the trenches and physical go out and help unfortunate BW.
I dontgiveafuck how a BW does it. Anyone doing their part to help BW be it verbally or physically is MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
GASLIGHTERS can consume themselves in their own flames but I’ll be damned is I sit by and allow them to try to take the rest of us with them!
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