PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE — How to not be DUPED as a Black woman into being the active recipient

First they Ignore you,

Then they laugh at you,

Then they fight you,

Then you win




I was perusing and catching up on some of the other sites I visit and came across YET another “study” done in the form of a buzzfeed informational vid (lol)  on Youtube that looked into the racial dating preferences of people online.




*YAWWWWWWWWWWWWN* Are we there yet? LOL Apparently not, because they keep rehashing the same tired idiotic online dating surveys and studies. WHY? What’s the goal? Mission?


Obviously mission 498573465834658734 has not been accomplished so we have yet another one to add to the files to get people either feeling like they are the shit or that they are just….shit.…But we all know feelings don’t mean shit at the end of the day. REALTY is the real shit.




I had to laugh because they tried to claim this was “another online” study done of (2.4 million people – LOL yeah cause that covers the entire gamut of human beings and their thoughts on certain things) when the reality is, its clearly the same idiotic study that OK CUPID did 5 years ago in which they kept hammering on about how Black women were least responded to of all races and where BW responded the most to others. IOW’s, “nobody wants Black women and Black women are so desperate they reached out for interactions with any and every male that contacted them compared to others races”.




If online dating “studies” is all it takes for some to feel good about themselves, then I’d say they are in the same boat headed up the same shitty creek without a paddle as the people who internalize the negative “results” of these “studies” and base their self worth and “LACK” of potential on these studies.


I asked myself, why on earth do these dumb ass online dating “studies” keep popping up in various forms and articles. What are they trying to accomplish by posting so called “stats” on what race and gender receives the most “love” online and in the dating world and which race and gender seems the “least” love.


There is never really any insights onto what the studies reveal other than what they reveal. Meaning, there is never any “helpful” discussion into WHY and WHAT drives these perceptions and actions online. Like negative and positive perceptions based on SUPERFICIAL means.


So in essence these “studies” keep popping up to drive a message to many different audiences intended to receive it.


My concern is simply for Black women since we are ALWAYS the intended recipients of the “YOU SUCK AS HUMANS AND WOMEN” messages.


And what I realized is, this propaganda in the form of “studies” is simply TEXT BOOK non-creative Psychological Warfare. Nothing more, nothing less.


To most people, though, they will look at these studies and internalize it based on what the intended message was for them. Some people will believe the dating world is their oyster, while others will believe the dating world is the be end all end to their existence. And if they are not at the “top” of the online dating preference based on race and gender, they should just crawl away in a corner and die.


Move along, nothing to see here sistas! Its the same ole same ole tired tactics used to influence and reinforce certain attitudes, behaviors, thoughts, actions and emotions in the intended targets.


The unfortunate thing of it all is Black women keep falling for this nonsense and keep using these blatant attacks on our humanity as women as a measuring stick to our potential, existence and abilities.


Yes the name of that tactic used to keep BW in our place is:




Let’s get some facts on what PSYWAR is:

psychological warfare




psychological warfare – the use of psychological tactics to destroy the opponents’ morale



psychological warfare


The use of various techniques, such as propaganda and terror, to lower an enemy’s morale.


Psychological Warfare (PSYWAR), or the basic aspects of modern psychological operations (PSYOP), have been known by many other names or terms, including Psy Ops, Political Warfare, “Hearts and Minds”, and Propaganda.[1] Various techniques are used, and are aimed at influencing a target audience’s value system, belief system, emotions, motives, reasoning, or behavior. It is used to induce confessions or reinforce attitudes and behaviors favorable to the originator’s objectives, and are sometimes combined with black operations or false flag tactics. Target audiences can be governments, organizations, groups, and individuals.


Yes Yes Black women need to be consistently reminded of this very common tactic used to keep us in our place.


Most people believe PSYWAR is only used in political and military situations. But its not. As Wiki pointed out PSYWAR is used in various different ways and methods and is used on various different “audiences”.


In the case of the endless barrage of IDIOTIC “online dating studies” and other similar studies that seek to inform the world of what race and gender is faring the WORSE, & that seek to discover which races and genders are most sought after and least sought after, the “intended” audience is Black women and everyone else who needs to feel some sort of way about US compared to them and all others.


We are the intended “recipients” of such blatant anti Black woman propaganda that keeps TRYING ( I say TRYING because they obviously haven’t achieved much success overall thus why they keep pinching off the original OK Cupid study and creating additional same like studies with the same results).


Anyone with a clear head, whose brain is working clearly understands that basing such worth as an individual on these kinds of studies is ludicrous. But most people are just sheep easily led to the slaughter based on simple, frivolous, meaningless information being fed to them.


Black women need to learn to stop being “active recipients”. If one chooses to read and internalize, then hopefully Black women can get to a point where what they are actually internalizing is not the message but the *REASON* for the message. I now read these articles and view these you tube attacks on Black women from a different place than the average unknowing Black woman or girl who actually believes this garbage. I see it for what it is and understand WHY it is.


Once you are equipped with the knowledge of what is at play, you can actually sit back, laugh and shake your head at the DESPERATION of it all. While the message is trying to make BW feel & look desperate, I can clearly see the desperation lies in those who keep making these studies and anti Black woman declarations. They see something they cannot change, so they are fighting back desperately with pathetic, laughable and questionable “studies” to keep certain groups in their place – be that at the top or bottom.


The bottom line is, Black women are waking up and moving into the global arena and folks are just flat out SCURRED! That is frankly where all this overdrive of “BW are least married, least desirable, etc” stems from. They believe the more they keep saying it, that it will stop BW in our tracks. Well its not working so they keep having to rely on the most idiotic of studies and “research” as their weapons and arsenal.


I am not saying there are no challenges that BW are going to and do face in the world when it comes to dating. But if Black women keep simply relying on these studies to “tell them their destiny”  and to guide our lives, you will surely not have a life.


The key is Black women in America *DO* have a lot of work to do when it comes to improving our image and perceptions. But that still does not mean that every damn male on earth uses those generalized perceptions as their measuring stick to love. There are simply SHEEPLE PEOPLE and men in the world WHO.GET.IT. They understand you cannot judge someone simply and solely by the group and race they belong to. Leave that to the simple men and sheeple. They deserve everything they seek and get (or do not get).


There is a saying which I ADORE. It is coined in many different ways, but the message is clear:


— The grave you dig for someone else, just may be your own.


— If you dig a hole for others, you’re sure to fall in it yourself.


Black women need to as OLS from has said “REMAIN NEUTRAL”    and watch the feathers fly and fall. In due time they will. And we will be left standing as that wonderful and true quote from GANDHI so eloquently put it.



Let them have the battle. What we want is to win the war. And the only way to win the war is to understand the tactics used to defeat us. Do not let Psychological Warfare defeat our missions as Black women.



Once more –  WITH FEELING:


First they Ignore you,

Then they laugh at you,

Then they fight you,

Then you win












21 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Neecy
    Apr 10, 2014 @ 23:58:40

    What do you guys think? Is there someone out there who sees these articles and studies as helpful? I can see how some would say that these studies actually show how ignorant and shallow and in *some* cases racist many people are when it comes to dating & online dating.

    I believe it does show the ignorance of many but I still do not believe these studies are coming from a place of “teaching” and “showing” how shallow people can be when it comes to race.



  2. Char
    Apr 11, 2014 @ 06:55:37

    I saw the header on one of the blogs I read – one that is NOT known for its support of women – and I thought…. Why? Why write this? Why publish the story? For what purpose? No, I think you are correct in your assessment of its intent. PSYWAR and I’m not buying it.



    • Neecy
      Apr 14, 2014 @ 20:25:59

      Exactly! They keep republishing and researching these kinds of stupid studies just because of the amount of silly superficial shallow people we have int he world who actually put faith and credibility into this nonsense. I guess it makes some people sleep better at night.

      But in the real world, its hard for anyone to find quality people for relationships.



  3. Mike Street Station
    Apr 11, 2014 @ 11:13:11

    I think I saw the study you’re talking about. It’s set up as a very stylistically done video that has attractive people moving back and forth (somehow emulating the stats being shown on the screen) while a narrator recites the “facts” and figures/

    For myself, I’m cautious about studies like this since polling and studies like this are not done unless someone is paying for it, and that someone usually has a pre-determined answer they want, and since they ARE paying for it, they usually get the answer they want. So when it comes to polls and studies that are presented as news, I’m usually pretty skeptical. With polling you always want to dig deep to see how exactly the questions were asked. That can totally change your results.

    As for the OKCupid “study,” that’s years old. I bet if they ran that again they would get totally differing results. But maybe someone likes the results they have now and don’t want to take a chance on changing them.



    • Neecy
      Apr 14, 2014 @ 20:30:40

      Hey Mike!

      ITA. But the problem is regular ignorant people actually put faith into studies like this and when this kind of propaganda keeps rearing its ugly head, its done to send a message to the masses about how they should feel.

      You have many young Black girls coming across this kind of stuff and starting to develop self esteem issues. Many will believe they do not stand a chance int he dating arena and that can lead to bigger issues for Black women and girls who actually keep seeing and reading these idiotic studies.

      Unfrotunatley, most people these days are sheep and will put faith into and and everything presented before them although it may not even be credible r even make any sense as to how these stats were brought up.

      For all we know they could have polled 100 Whites and 3 Black women.

      They never really go into detail about the numbers which is suspicious.

      Its just straight propaganda that keeps getting away with their nonsense because the group(s) they are targeting negatively have zero protection.

      Studies like this would never fly if White women were int he same boat.



  4. Shaylah
    Apr 12, 2014 @ 07:15:48

    Glad you are back Neecy. I am glad your computer problem was fixed. I was talking to an older black woman who had a stroke that paralyzed her left arm. She was in the grocery store. I asked her do she has help? She said her daughter helps her. I told her I bet you did all the cooking and cleaning and gave money out at record rate and now that you need help, none of those kneegrows can be found. She totally agreed with me. I talk to more black women who are in their 60’s and 70’s and most of them were mules to the max. When they think about the questions I asked them not one of them disputed the fact that they were used. People are taking notice that Black women are not only moving forward in our professional lives, but also in our personal lives. No more sitting at home waitin’ on the Lawd. We are taking an active stand in our own lives putting ourselves first and foremost.
    Now they have some white woman telling Asian women on some site to stop dating white men. I really laughed at that because THEY ALWAYS CONFRONT THE BLACK WOMAN OR IN THIS CASE THE ASIAN WOMAN. No one ever confronts the white man because they know he will put them in their place. It’s a saying you are talking about me because you are thinking about me. If Black women are these so called bad things, then why do keep focusing on us and unless deep down you admire us and don’t want to come out of the closet to admit.(LOL)!



    • Neecy
      Apr 14, 2014 @ 20:33:58

      It’s a saying you are talking about me because you are thinking about me.

      YEP! Many Black women need to understand what the root of this is. The obsession and constant talking about who and what BW are doing says that there is much more to this.

      But another thing is, in the world and society people always need to have something or someone *below* them so they can feel better about themselves. That is what these studies are for. To make certain groups feel better about themselves by pointing out how they are “above” another group in some fashion.

      Definitley reeks of insecurity and desperation on the parts of those who keep publishing these studies. Its like they are working over time trying to convince themselves of something. lol



  5. Peanut
    Apr 12, 2014 @ 10:21:41


    • Neecy
      Apr 14, 2014 @ 20:46:31

      Peanut you hit the nail on the head with your post! Very true!

      The more they try to malign American BW, the more the BW who do not fit these profiles SHINE!

      Its going to backfire – BIG TIME. Just wait and see.

      I believe in the universe and its handling of good and bad karma. Soon enough it will be dished out. 😉



  6. Peanut
    Apr 12, 2014 @ 10:22:29

    to paraphrase, basically the more they tell people how bad we are, the more elusive we seem when people come across the black women who are the exact opposite of what they expect



  7. onelesssoldier
    Apr 13, 2014 @ 15:24:52

    Thanks for the link and the mention. Glad to see you’re back.



  8. neurochick
    Apr 14, 2014 @ 10:59:14

    This is a dysfunctional society. The reason it is dysfunctional is because we as humans base our worth on what we have on the outside and the only way you can feel good about yourself if you’re doing that is to put others down. The people who write about these “studies” are doing this because in order for them to feel good about themselves, they have to keep others down, make them feel like crap, mainly black women.



    • Neecy
      Apr 14, 2014 @ 20:44:47

      So true Neurochik.

      There are so many narcissist people and groups in this society today that is why these kinds of studies are done. As you said for others to feel better about themselves.

      This society today thrives off of people simply relying on superficial non credible things and sources to make them look and feel better about themselves. And these days everyone needs another person or group to feel superior to, in order to feel worthy.

      But like I said, anyone who takes these studies as gospel and believes their own hype or lack thereof, is truly in for a rude awakening when it comes to the real world.

      In the real world these days, most people are struggling to find quality relationships. Sure its easy to just hook up with a bunch of people, but when it comes down to quality relationships, all races and genders are having challenges finding such.



  9. omerta327
    Apr 14, 2014 @ 13:12:33

    Neece, there’s an old saying – there are lies, damned lies, and statistics. I think this falls under the category of statistics.

    Hell, I did my own “online study” yesterday. I picked up a pine cone off the ground and declared that pine cones keep lions away. My friend told me I was crazy, but I said “well, you don’t see any lions around here, do you?”

    And as for the whole Psywar BW “SUCK AS HUMANS AND WOMEN” angle, shit, I don’t know ANYONE who feels that way.



    • omerta327
      Apr 14, 2014 @ 13:19:08

      My point is that these “online studies” need to be taken with a grain of salt. Me, personally, and you know this about me, Neece – if you’re a good person, I don’t care what color your skin is.



    • Neecy
      Apr 14, 2014 @ 20:40:28


      Hey O!

      You know what, you’re right. Intelligent people do not put faith into these studies.

      But we all know how powerful propaganda and subliminal messages are even when they do not make sense. Black women should be very concerned about this kind of idiotic propaganda because it is done to create a general idea and message to people.

      There are many young BW and girls who will see this propaganda and start feeling a certain way about themselves. You already had BW on there saying how it sucks to be Black woman and how they feel bad about themselves.

      That is the mission of these studies is to hold BW back mentally and emotionally, so that others can stay at the top of the heap.

      That is why these studies although stupid, need to be counteracted with intelligent people who will tell it like it is and why they exist.

      If thee studies showed the same kind of less favor for WW no one would keep allowing them to be published.

      BW are an unprotected group, so anything goes when it comes to conjuring up stupid frivolous stats and studies where they do not go into detail on how they came to the results they did.

      Everyone takes it as face value. Which is the point and mission.



      • omerta327
        Apr 15, 2014 @ 18:04:42

        Wow. Some serious food for thought there. I would hope that this is just an abberation and society isn’t really like that.

        BTW, I really like the new pic. 😉



  10. Formavitae
    Apr 17, 2014 @ 18:49:02

    I’m glad you highlighted the importance of thinking about the PURPOSE/INTENT of messaging sent in various forms. I think BW should just ignore certain articles, videos, shows, etc. Oftentimes, they are presented as an effort to promote discourse, but, REALLY, these people just want to tell BW as many disparaging things as possible, so that they can kill BW’s spirits. If BW just totally ignored these things, these poisoners wouldn’t be able to achieve their objectives, and BW wouldn’t suffer the negative impacts of their poisonous messages. They wouldn’t be able to blight a BW’s “sunny day”.



  11. 18andLegal
    Jun 23, 2014 @ 21:37:06

    I know, I am a relatively new commenter but this post is correct. I just graduated from high school and I have experienced psychological warfare just from reading statistics online and watching television programs about Black women being the least married and desired group in America. And I had horrible experiences with African American males my age. One rejected me because he said that he doesn’t date Black women. Now he is dating a Puerto Rican chick. Others rejected me because I am not the light skin chick with long hair and a ”thick” figure. And many of them teased me for being dark skin, skinny and wearing my natural hair. I find African American males to be the biggest penetrators of psychological warfare towards Black women in America and the West. The media is just a small part of this psychological warfare against Black women in the West. Thus I don’t trust African American men nor do I want to date one.



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