Yes I’m Weighing in on Don Sterlinggate nonsense

Ok I wasn’t going to really weigh in on the ratcheness that is Don Sterling but I have a couple things to say.

 

I’ll start withe the disclaimers:

1) I don’t care about other people’s personal intimate relationships or how they got together or who is using who. That’s their business.

 

2) I am not rallying behind anyone in this matter. All folks involved have some serious issues and need to seek therapy for a number of reasons

 

3) I believe women should be above simply relying on their looks to get by because there will come a time if she has nothing to fall back on other than her looks, when those looks fade.

 

4) I do not care personally about Don Sterling, his G/F, or his wife

 

5) This post is not necessarily about Don Sterling and his Half Black girlfriends relationship or his bigotry. its about the reactions towards her.

 

So thanks in a dance for not assuming I am riding for Don Sterlings girlfriend. I am just sitting back and observing the comments and remarks and drawing my conclusions based on where these comments and remarks stem from.

 

Because of my intuitiveness and constant side eye at how society likes to take Black women and women deemed Black and drag them through the mud at every opportunity, I want to focus on the other issue that no one seems to be addressing because they are so caught up in pulling the girlfriend through the mud.

 

First off. Two people make an agreement to get into a relationship. It happens every second of the day. In every relationship with any human being, there is a trade off. One person enters into the relationship because they other person has something they like and want and vice versa.

 

We live in a society today where people can make some of the most asinine and insane choices in partnerships based on superficiality and other issues. It happens all day everyday.

 

What two grown consenting adults agree upon for their relationship is NO ONE ELSE’S BUSINESS! Unless one is retarded or unable to think or act on their own consciousness because they are mentally handicapped or disabled, then all bets are on and no one can claim they have been coerced, forced or beaten into submission to be in a relationship with the other.

 

Of course in a perfect world and society, people would only match up and be together for the best and most perfect of reasons. There would be no shallowness and no other superficial or materialistic reasons for such unions. But we do not live in a perfect world and people make decisions to be with others for all sorts of reasons whether we agree with them or not.

 

People make bad choices in mates all the time. Some more than others, but nonetheless it’s done quite frequently today. People put up with all kinds of nonsense with mates for a variety of reasons – some shallow, superficial and stupid. Sometimes it’s for materialistic reasons or just simply the person has major mommy, daddy or childhood issues.

 

Men are able to choose mates (without guilt) based on their looks. All we hear all day every day is how “men are visual”. Like it’s innate in them to want the best looking women and not necessarily the best mate for other reasons that matter besides looks that fade.  No man is ever called a SHALLOW DIGGER, BEAUTY DIGGER, or PREDATOR,  for choosing women based solely for their beauty and YOUTH. All we hear all day every day is how men love beauty and youth and have a right to pursue it. All we see daily is men who pursue the women they want based on a lot of reasons – one being her looks number one and everything else falling in second place.

 

You would be hard pressed to find any man with options and a bank account who would feel bad about disqualifying women for potential partnerships if she did not meet his physical standards.  We as a society accept this about men and say “boys will be boys”. As a result, women do what they can to be the best attractive mates for the types of men they want.

 

Young attractive women are well aware of their value when it comes to their looks and beauty and men who have the means to pursue them for that.  They are also well aware that there are more than enough men, young and old who desire and want nothing but the most attractive women on their arms. And for the men who have the financial means to do so, they pursue these women and use their materialistic wealth and such to get them.

 

Young attractive women have been going out with, hooking up with, matching up with “sugar daddies” and well off men for centuries and decades. The tradeoff has always been her beauty and his wealth. Men are willing to use their wealth to attract the best looking and most beautiful and youthful of women, and women have been willing to use their youth and beauty to attract the more well off of men. It’s been happening for decades and centuries.

 

IOW’s I’m saying no one is being FORCED to be in a partnership with ANYONE unless they chose to do so. Any man who is well off is prolly not an idiot and is a pretty good critical thinker when it comes to his money and how and who he plans to spend it on.  This is to say, no millionaire, multi-millionaire or billionaire is being coerced into spending his hard earned  fortune on his young girlfriend or any woman for that matter. He does it because he wants to or because he knows that is what he needs to bring to the table to keep that kind of woman on his arm and in his bed.

 

At this point you are probably saying “ UH NEECY, WTF does this have to do with the price of tea in China and Don Sterling TURDLING???!”

 

Well I have just been kinds reading around on different sites about this scandal between Don Sterling, his Half Black g/f, his wife  and obviously his racist rants that were recorded.

 

 

While I could care less about either persons in this nonsense, I do have to speak up and say I am really disgusted with all the assumptions and nasty comments being made about the girlfriend.

 

“She a gold digger”

“She’s a ho”

She’s disgusting

Many of which I think stem from an underlying hatred of the idea of any young and attractive Black girl or half Black girl getting anything remotely material from wealthy men (especially White)  in relationships.

 

It is long and widely held that Black women and women deemed Black do not deserve to be treated to the finer things in life.  Despite this losers racist beliefs and such, he still choose to do things for this girl and buy her all kinds of things, give her a home, cars, money and other gifts. That was HIS CHOICE and her ACCEPTANCE of such. He hasn’t done anything no other old geezer dating a woman more than half below his age has done, and she hasn’t done anything no young attractive woman in her 20’s would not do if given the chance to have a “sugar daddy” that laps her in luxury.

 

People will overlook and not say one word about the SCORES of Non Black women who only hook up with, date, sex and marry Black men who are well off. Rarely are these women dragged through the mud for obviously only wanting to be with these Black men for money.

 

Yet it goes back to this idea that its “INNATE” and “NATURAL” for a White/Asian and non-black woman to want to seek the best for herself and future through materialistic means and thus choosing mates based on that. People will make excuses as the day is long for all the Non Black women who do this by the hour because they believe it’s natural for them to want to live good and have the best.

 

A Black or half Black woman does it and she is a no good disgusting low life that needs to be, beheaded and strung up by her heels and stoned to death for “gold digging” on these poor helpless men showering her with money and gifts.

 

Another reason I give the side eye to all this hate and shade being thrown at the girlfriend and the constant term being thrown around that she is a “gold digger”  is because on the daily there is a huge concentrated effort and has been for decades to keep attractive Black women under wraps as to avoid competition for the wealthy men.

 

This is why we see all these bombardments of “online dating studies” saying how Black women are least desired, all of the media shows and such showing Black women as mammy’s or fat, obnoxious asexual sassy unfeminine Amazons, etc. People do not want Black women or women deemed BLACK in the GAME!  (no pun intended) LOL  There are a lot of people who are working overtime to keep Black chicks like Don Sterlings G/f from getting condos, cars, and just being taken care of because it cuts in on their potential and turf. PERIOD.

 

By dragging this girl through the mud, the message is being subliminally sent to other Black or half Black women, that if you dare mess with a man who has money and wealth, you will automatically be called everything but a child of GOD, disgusting and a “goldiigging ho!”

 

More ways to keep Black women in their “lanes” so to speak.

 

I’m a very critical thinker with a lot of intuition on things and underlying memes. People hate this girl because she is not your atypical White and/or Asian beauty getting things through her wealthy b/f.

 

I’ve noticed nothing but CONTEMPT for this girl especially by White and Non Black women and even some clueless Black women. It is well known that the creators of so called “gold digging” are the very women who have had access to the wealthiest of men for centuries – WHITE and ASIAN WOMEN.

 

So when young and attractive White and Asian women use their “feminine wiles”, beauty and youth to snag wealthy men (married, not married, divorced, separated whatever) people do not much bat an eye let alone dare try to pull them through the mud because the underlying idea is that young attractive White and Asian women are doing what “comes natural” by trying to secure men who can give them the finer things in life.

 

Of course women who simply use and rely on their looks to snag wealthy men are obviously unaware of the long term negative effects this will have once they start aging and getting older and no longer at the top of the heap in the Sexual market place, but that is neither here nor there. THE POINT IS, NON Black women are given constant get outta “gold digging” jail free passes because it is EXPECTED that men want “the best” and will pay for “the best” and in this society White and Asian women are deemed “the best” so no one really makes a big whoop out of Non-Black women who blatantly use their looks and youth to snag wealthy mates.

 

HOWEVER,  the same is not so true for young, attractive Black and even mixed Black women. The first thing that pops in everyone’s mind and comes out of their mouths is “She aint nothing but a ho and a gold digger” “She is a low life” and so on. It’s almost as if “how dare this Black or part Black girl get what the Non-black woman is supposed to have”. And that is the underlying theme in all the hateful comments that I am getting about Don Sterlings Girlfriend. Things that White and Asian women do on the DAILY without guilt, yet when a Black girl does it everyone wants to weigh in on what a “low life” and “gold digger” she is.

 

I’m tired of it and I’m  gonna call a spade a spade! This has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me RAH RAHING behind her cause, her actions, her choices or her behaviors. I aint got NADA to do with what either two of them have decided for themselves and each other. She’s not taking money out of my bank account or pocket so why would anyone care who is a gold digger anyway?? Is it your money they are “gold digging” NO? Then mind your business!

 

They are two grown people who have made a choice to be in a relationship based on their own desires. Not mine, not yours.

 

Is she cray for staying with a man (regardless of wealth) who would spew such blatant racist drivel about part of who she is? OF COURSE! But you know what? His White wife stayed with him for 50 years and had kids with him knowing what a slithering racist fool he was. Didn’t stop her from moving on to “less greener” pastures and finding a man with better character and a slimmer wallet. In fact, she’s been riding around skinning and grinning with him despite her condemning of him and  his remarks.  Yet, the WHITE WOMAN gets the pass, benefit of the doubt and the evil Black girl must be denounced!

 

People stay in bad relationships for all kinds of crazy reasons all day every day and get nothing out of it. She is not the first NOR the last woman with possible self-esteem issues or desires to simply be taken care off financially no matter how much of a jerk her b/f may be.

 

The term gold digging is played and tired. Any woman today that ends up with a wealthy man (especially a BLACK WOMAN) is called a gold digger. Yet men who seek out women  less than half their ages, or solely for their youth and beauty are not given these kinds of terms like PREDATORS, SHALLOW DIGGERS, etc.

 

Enough is enough! A  REAL GOLD DIGGER is a woman who pretends to love a man for everything but his money when the reality is all she wants is his money. A real goldigger makes a man believe she doesn’t see his money but just his person. A real gold digger schemes her way into a relationship by any means necessary.

 

Don Sterling knows that his 31 year old g/f is not with his 85 year old self for love. HE KNOWS THIS. He is aware she is with him for his money,  power, influence and  he had no problem using those things to keep her around! She is aware he is with her for her youth and beauty and had no problem sticking with him despite his racist ways.   PERIOD.

 

The only thing if anything people should be discussing in this story is the topic at hand. DON STERLINGS BIGOTRY. Not his personal choice in mate and what and who he spends his money on and certainly not his g/f who is guilty of having  low self-worth and bad choices in men. But she is not HARMING anyone because she has very little to no power to influence and wield over people’s lives and livelihoods as has Don Sterling.

 

 

 

 

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20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Neecy
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 00:05:42

    I know some people will take this post as me condoning Don Sterling g/f and I can truly only hope you can read between the lines of what I am saying. This for me is more about the dynamics of how race and gender come into play and how people react when its a certain race and gender apart of the equation.

    Also I am shocked at the number of people who actually believe its “old” people like Don Sterling who harbor such racist ideals. There are still plenty of baby boomers and youngsters who harbor disgusting racial prejudices.

    Visit twitter and you can see for yourself the disgusting displays of racism from the younger generation.

    The problem is parents these days do not talk to their children about race and tell them that race is no longer an issue because they live, work and play amongst Blacks and others. Couldn’t be furthest front he truth!

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    • Mike Street Station
      May 01, 2014 @ 06:39:22

      I have to say that you did a good job of taking a story that has been over saturated and beaten to death in the media for days (far more than the actual news value of the story in my opinion), and giving it an entirely new spin.

      In your first comment you said, “The problem is parents these days do not talk to their children about race and tell them that race is no longer an issue because they live, work and play amongst Blacks and others.”

      That’s my experience. My parents never ever mentioned race to me, and I never ever mentioned race to my kids. I don’t know if that was the right decision or not but society is so crazy on the issue I’m not even sure what I should have said.

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      • Neecy
        May 01, 2014 @ 13:55:55

        A lot of,people are guilty of it. black people should also be having healthy discussions with their kids about race. If they were we wouldn’t see so many Blacks disrespecting themselves and their race and culture AND WOMEN after all the blood sweat and tears our ancestors put in to make sure our generation does well.

        While there is a lot of improvement on race relations, I still believe we all need to be having more discussions about it with our kids on both ends. Not blame or pointing the finger discussions, more heart felt well balanced discussions.

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  2. Neecy
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 01:02:50

    Also. I want to address the issue of her dating a married but separated man. Ok in my mind if two married people decide to publicly and legally separate, then I assume they are aware they are not together anymore, and for a number of reasons may have decided to simply not divorce for reasons that they have both agreed upon.

    Now i personally would not involve myself with any man still under the marraife certificate. BUT if two people legally separate, in my eyes they are free to see others during that time depending on the terms of the legal separation. A lot of times people separate and don’t divorce SOLELY for the sake of kids, or they agreed upon some financial arrangement. But whatever it is, as long as they did not agree they would remain single and not date others during this time, its fair game IMO for those who choose to take that jump.

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  3. KfromVA
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 05:59:42

    I too was a little confused as to why this woman was being called a gold digger. This type of relationship or arrangement has been in existence forever. She was not taking advantage of this man in any way financially. He gave her gifts because he wanted to. He is well aware that this woman is not in love with him (even condoned her sleeping with other people in one of the recordings), and they both benefited. She got taken care of, and he got to show her off as arm candy. If it wasn’t this particular woman that benefited then it would have been someone else that looked similar; so why not her? When a wealthy man of a particular age wants the company of a younger pretty woman he KNOWS that he has to pay to play.

    My only problem with this woman and with the wife is that they both knew this man was racist and had no problem with it. They had no problem with it because he wasn’t talking about them. His wife is white and he has stated that he did not see his girlfriend as black; so of course it did not bother either of them if he had a problem with black people or said racist things in front of them. It’s very similar to when negative things are stated about black women as a whole, nobody cares or comes to our rescue because what was stated is not about them.

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  4. KfromVA
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 06:16:27

    I know of no other community that would look down on a woman for including financial security as requirement in terms of dating and marriage. I do not like the term gold digger either, and the men who use this term usually have no gold to dig anyway. It’s fine for men to include youth when seeking a partner even though that excludes a large pool of single women, but black women should feel bad for doing what other races of women have been doing for ages by seeking financially security in a partner? I don’t think so.

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    • Neecy
      Apr 30, 2014 @ 10:44:28

      Yep! People look down on Black women seeking out security because they feel deep down Black women do not deserve to be taken care of by any wealthy man no matter his race. That is why immediately people start throwing around the term “gold digger” the minute a black women is seen or with a man of means.

      Yet you have these same Black men and non black men who marry these non black women and no one bats an eye or says a word about the possibility of those women being “gold diggers”.

      Asian women are some of the most hypergamous women and no one says a damn ting about Asian women seeking out mTes for wealth. That’s because people deem Asian women to be worthy of such lifestyles.

      That is why Black women need to stop jumping on that gold digger bandwagon because it’s almost always used against Black women.

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    • Say It Loud I'm Brown (Indian: dot, not feather) And Proud!
      Jun 04, 2014 @ 22:15:41

      “I do not like the term gold digger either, and the men who use this term usually have no gold to dig anyway.”

      Ain’t it the truth! I dated a man once who before even meeting me asked me if I would sign a pre-nup if we were to ever marry. He had about a hundred and fifty dollars in his bank account at the time, and years later has around the same amount (the woman who eventually became his wife told me so).

      But he has “dreams” of making it big someday. He’s almost 40 and unemployed so he better get movin’!

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  5. neurochick
    Apr 30, 2014 @ 13:36:52

    I kind of agree with this, though whenever I hear “gold digger” I think of someone like Anna Nicole Smith, a blonde with fake breasts. I used to watch old movies and I have an image of a Jean Harlow/Marilyn Monroe type when I hear the word “gold digger.”

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    • Neecy
      May 01, 2014 @ 13:52:32

      Lol yeah ANNA NICOLE married that man making him believe she loved him. That is a gold digger IMO. He was completely under the impression she loved him. I remember seeing her biography in which the lady who was that mans nurse said how she was never around and who he was dying he would call for ANNA and she was in California shacked up with her young b/f.

      THAT is gold digging. Playing and pretending to love someone when really you want their money.

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  6. Meena
    May 01, 2014 @ 17:24:26

    Neecy! Bravo at this post. I 100% agree with your take and have deliberately avoided reading or listening to anything about the Sterling situation. Even when a black woman and wealthy man of any race are genuinely in love, everybody will still rush to label her as a gold digger. Well, I say screw ’em. Do for self first and don’t bat an eye to the foolishness they want to label us with. Hypergamy all the way!

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  7. omerta327
    May 12, 2014 @ 14:21:18

    Oh give me a f*ckin break. This girl isn’t a gold digger?

    Yeah, that’s why she’s a hot young babe – who can have any guy she wants – and she’s dating a guy who was around when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, who just happens to be the billionaire owner of an NBA team. HELLO?!?

    I swear, you girls will rationalize anyting, as long as it’s to your advantage.

    Machiavelli would be proud.

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    • Say It Loud I'm Brown (Indian: dot, not feather) And Proud!
      Jun 04, 2014 @ 22:18:07

      ” she’s dating a guy who was around when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, who just happens to be the billionaire owner of an NBA team.”

      For access to the players, no doubt. 😉

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  8. Eji
    May 13, 2014 @ 13:08:48

    Thank you! I had to forward this to a friend, cuz I was having this same discussing a week ago or so and I put it out there that if V., had been White / Asian, she would right now be the Hero for everyother BM and others out there, instead of being called a gold digger, all anyone would say was how brave she was to give up the good life he was keeping her, to do “what’s right”. Like you said they both knew what the deal was in the relationship and even if she did try to blackmail him using the tape, etc…. she is like everyother Human out there….. trying to her hers!

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  9. simplyme
    May 27, 2014 @ 13:03:43

    Ms. V. is first considered exotic/Asian, then Hispanic, then Hispanic/black.
    She shows Hispanic to me. Therefore, could we stop referring to this idiot as a traditional African American woman…she is not. She is a hot mess…I do not claim her as a black woman because she lives her life as other. And, she knows that.
    Even the old man thought she was some other type of woman and not black. And, that is fine with me.

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    • Formavitae
      May 31, 2014 @ 13:22:40

      CO-SIGN.

      I don’t like this chick.

      NEVER HAVE.

      NEVER WILL.

      Leave AA women out of this HOT, sexually ambiguous MESS.

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  10. Say It Loud I'm Brown (Indian: dot, not feather) And Proud!
    Jun 04, 2014 @ 22:11:10

    I was shocked when I saw how young and attractive Sterling’s girlfriend is and how old and ugly he is.

    She could get a young rich man with smooth skin and a great physique. Why the hell did she take up with that old corpse who’s two inches from the grave?

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  11. 18andLegal
    Jun 23, 2014 @ 21:25:57

    This chick is homely as heck and she is half Mexican and half African American. That V Stiviano ho should not be used as an example for BWE. She doesn’t care about the plight of African American women being marginalized and being mistreated in American culture, among other African Americans and in the West in general. V Stiviano even made a video mocking African Americans and how they can’t even spend or know how to use money properly. So why use her as an example?

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