Ok I wasn’t going to really weigh in on the ratcheness that is Don Sterling but I have a couple things to say.
I’ll start withe the disclaimers:
1) I don’t care about other people’s personal intimate relationships or how they got together or who is using who. That’s their business.
2) I am not rallying behind anyone in this matter. All folks involved have some serious issues and need to seek therapy for a number of reasons
3) I believe women should be above simply relying on their looks to get by because there will come a time if she has nothing to fall back on other than her looks, when those looks fade.
4) I do not care personally about Don Sterling, his G/F, or his wife
5) This post is not necessarily about Don Sterling and his Half Black girlfriends relationship or his bigotry. its about the reactions towards her.
So thanks in a dance for not assuming I am riding for Don Sterlings girlfriend. I am just sitting back and observing the comments and remarks and drawing my conclusions based on where these comments and remarks stem from.
Because of my intuitiveness and constant side eye at how society likes to take Black women and women deemed Black and drag them through the mud at every opportunity, I want to focus on the other issue that no one seems to be addressing because they are so caught up in pulling the girlfriend through the mud.
First off. Two people make an agreement to get into a relationship. It happens every second of the day. In every relationship with any human being, there is a trade off. One person enters into the relationship because they other person has something they like and want and vice versa.
We live in a society today where people can make some of the most asinine and insane choices in partnerships based on superficiality and other issues. It happens all day everyday.
What two grown consenting adults agree upon for their relationship is NO ONE ELSE’S BUSINESS! Unless one is retarded or unable to think or act on their own consciousness because they are mentally handicapped or disabled, then all bets are on and no one can claim they have been coerced, forced or beaten into submission to be in a relationship with the other.
Of course in a perfect world and society, people would only match up and be together for the best and most perfect of reasons. There would be no shallowness and no other superficial or materialistic reasons for such unions. But we do not live in a perfect world and people make decisions to be with others for all sorts of reasons whether we agree with them or not.
People make bad choices in mates all the time. Some more than others, but nonetheless it’s done quite frequently today. People put up with all kinds of nonsense with mates for a variety of reasons – some shallow, superficial and stupid. Sometimes it’s for materialistic reasons or just simply the person has major mommy, daddy or childhood issues.
Men are able to choose mates (without guilt) based on their looks. All we hear all day every day is how “men are visual”. Like it’s innate in them to want the best looking women and not necessarily the best mate for other reasons that matter besides looks that fade. No man is ever called a SHALLOW DIGGER, BEAUTY DIGGER, or PREDATOR, for choosing women based solely for their beauty and YOUTH. All we hear all day every day is how men love beauty and youth and have a right to pursue it. All we see daily is men who pursue the women they want based on a lot of reasons – one being her looks number one and everything else falling in second place.
You would be hard pressed to find any man with options and a bank account who would feel bad about disqualifying women for potential partnerships if she did not meet his physical standards. We as a society accept this about men and say “boys will be boys”. As a result, women do what they can to be the best attractive mates for the types of men they want.
Young attractive women are well aware of their value when it comes to their looks and beauty and men who have the means to pursue them for that. They are also well aware that there are more than enough men, young and old who desire and want nothing but the most attractive women on their arms. And for the men who have the financial means to do so, they pursue these women and use their materialistic wealth and such to get them.
Young attractive women have been going out with, hooking up with, matching up with “sugar daddies” and well off men for centuries and decades. The tradeoff has always been her beauty and his wealth. Men are willing to use their wealth to attract the best looking and most beautiful and youthful of women, and women have been willing to use their youth and beauty to attract the more well off of men. It’s been happening for decades and centuries.
IOW’s I’m saying no one is being FORCED to be in a partnership with ANYONE unless they chose to do so. Any man who is well off is prolly not an idiot and is a pretty good critical thinker when it comes to his money and how and who he plans to spend it on. This is to say, no millionaire, multi-millionaire or billionaire is being coerced into spending his hard earned fortune on his young girlfriend or any woman for that matter. He does it because he wants to or because he knows that is what he needs to bring to the table to keep that kind of woman on his arm and in his bed.
At this point you are probably saying “ UH NEECY, WTF does this have to do with the price of tea in China and Don Sterling TURDLING???!”
Well I have just been kinds reading around on different sites about this scandal between Don Sterling, his Half Black g/f, his wife and obviously his racist rants that were recorded.
While I could care less about either persons in this nonsense, I do have to speak up and say I am really disgusted with all the assumptions and nasty comments being made about the girlfriend.
“She a gold digger”
“She’s a ho”
Many of which I think stem from an underlying hatred of the idea of any young and attractive Black girl or half Black girl getting anything remotely material from wealthy men (especially White) in relationships.
It is long and widely held that Black women and women deemed Black do not deserve to be treated to the finer things in life. Despite this losers racist beliefs and such, he still choose to do things for this girl and buy her all kinds of things, give her a home, cars, money and other gifts. That was HIS CHOICE and her ACCEPTANCE of such. He hasn’t done anything no other old geezer dating a woman more than half below his age has done, and she hasn’t done anything no young attractive woman in her 20’s would not do if given the chance to have a “sugar daddy” that laps her in luxury.
People will overlook and not say one word about the SCORES of Non Black women who only hook up with, date, sex and marry Black men who are well off. Rarely are these women dragged through the mud for obviously only wanting to be with these Black men for money.
Yet it goes back to this idea that its “INNATE” and “NATURAL” for a White/Asian and non-black woman to want to seek the best for herself and future through materialistic means and thus choosing mates based on that. People will make excuses as the day is long for all the Non Black women who do this by the hour because they believe it’s natural for them to want to live good and have the best.
A Black or half Black woman does it and she is a no good disgusting low life that needs to be, beheaded and strung up by her heels and stoned to death for “gold digging” on these poor helpless men showering her with money and gifts.
Another reason I give the side eye to all this hate and shade being thrown at the girlfriend and the constant term being thrown around that she is a “gold digger” is because on the daily there is a huge concentrated effort and has been for decades to keep attractive Black women under wraps as to avoid competition for the wealthy men.
This is why we see all these bombardments of “online dating studies” saying how Black women are least desired, all of the media shows and such showing Black women as mammy’s or fat, obnoxious asexual sassy unfeminine Amazons, etc. People do not want Black women or women deemed BLACK in the GAME! (no pun intended) LOL There are a lot of people who are working overtime to keep Black chicks like Don Sterlings G/f from getting condos, cars, and just being taken care of because it cuts in on their potential and turf. PERIOD.
By dragging this girl through the mud, the message is being subliminally sent to other Black or half Black women, that if you dare mess with a man who has money and wealth, you will automatically be called everything but a child of GOD, disgusting and a “goldiigging ho!”
More ways to keep Black women in their “lanes” so to speak.
I’m a very critical thinker with a lot of intuition on things and underlying memes. People hate this girl because she is not your atypical White and/or Asian beauty getting things through her wealthy b/f.
I’ve noticed nothing but CONTEMPT for this girl especially by White and Non Black women and even some clueless Black women. It is well known that the creators of so called “gold digging” are the very women who have had access to the wealthiest of men for centuries – WHITE and ASIAN WOMEN.
So when young and attractive White and Asian women use their “feminine wiles”, beauty and youth to snag wealthy men (married, not married, divorced, separated whatever) people do not much bat an eye let alone dare try to pull them through the mud because the underlying idea is that young attractive White and Asian women are doing what “comes natural” by trying to secure men who can give them the finer things in life.
Of course women who simply use and rely on their looks to snag wealthy men are obviously unaware of the long term negative effects this will have once they start aging and getting older and no longer at the top of the heap in the Sexual market place, but that is neither here nor there. THE POINT IS, NON Black women are given constant get outta “gold digging” jail free passes because it is EXPECTED that men want “the best” and will pay for “the best” and in this society White and Asian women are deemed “the best” so no one really makes a big whoop out of Non-Black women who blatantly use their looks and youth to snag wealthy mates.
HOWEVER, the same is not so true for young, attractive Black and even mixed Black women. The first thing that pops in everyone’s mind and comes out of their mouths is “She aint nothing but a ho and a gold digger” “She is a low life” and so on. It’s almost as if “how dare this Black or part Black girl get what the Non-black woman is supposed to have”. And that is the underlying theme in all the hateful comments that I am getting about Don Sterlings Girlfriend. Things that White and Asian women do on the DAILY without guilt, yet when a Black girl does it everyone wants to weigh in on what a “low life” and “gold digger” she is.
I’m tired of it and I’m gonna call a spade a spade! This has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with me RAH RAHING behind her cause, her actions, her choices or her behaviors. I aint got NADA to do with what either two of them have decided for themselves and each other. She’s not taking money out of my bank account or pocket so why would anyone care who is a gold digger anyway?? Is it your money they are “gold digging” NO? Then mind your business!
They are two grown people who have made a choice to be in a relationship based on their own desires. Not mine, not yours.
Is she cray for staying with a man (regardless of wealth) who would spew such blatant racist drivel about part of who she is? OF COURSE! But you know what? His White wife stayed with him for 50 years and had kids with him knowing what a slithering racist fool he was. Didn’t stop her from moving on to “less greener” pastures and finding a man with better character and a slimmer wallet. In fact, she’s been riding around skinning and grinning with him despite her condemning of him and his remarks. Yet, the WHITE WOMAN gets the pass, benefit of the doubt and the evil Black girl must be denounced!
People stay in bad relationships for all kinds of crazy reasons all day every day and get nothing out of it. She is not the first NOR the last woman with possible self-esteem issues or desires to simply be taken care off financially no matter how much of a jerk her b/f may be.
The term gold digging is played and tired. Any woman today that ends up with a wealthy man (especially a BLACK WOMAN) is called a gold digger. Yet men who seek out women less than half their ages, or solely for their youth and beauty are not given these kinds of terms like PREDATORS, SHALLOW DIGGERS, etc.
Enough is enough! A REAL GOLD DIGGER is a woman who pretends to love a man for everything but his money when the reality is all she wants is his money. A real goldigger makes a man believe she doesn’t see his money but just his person. A real gold digger schemes her way into a relationship by any means necessary.
Don Sterling knows that his 31 year old g/f is not with his 85 year old self for love. HE KNOWS THIS. He is aware she is with him for his money, power, influence and he had no problem using those things to keep her around! She is aware he is with her for her youth and beauty and had no problem sticking with him despite his racist ways. PERIOD.
The only thing if anything people should be discussing in this story is the topic at hand. DON STERLINGS BIGOTRY. Not his personal choice in mate and what and who he spends his money on and certainly not his g/f who is guilty of having low self-worth and bad choices in men. But she is not HARMING anyone because she has very little to no power to influence and wield over people’s lives and livelihoods as has Don Sterling.