Here’s the GOOD News! – Part 1

😦 Why all the long faces???? 


Yeah it’s been a tough week at the Nest.  Lotsa bad news and one would think being a BW is a curse after reading all of these articles and realities we are facing.

But here is the GOOD NEWS!     

😀 There is only ONE WAY to go from here as Black women – and that is UP!  


Sometimes the rude awakening stage has some ugly truths and rough hills and mountains to climb. But it’s really the only way Black women can see how we have positioned ourselves for so many decades and how that HAS.NOT.BEEN. WORKING OUT for us the way we keep believing it will one day.

BW have to face some harsh realities and hard truths before we can truly build new roots and start anew.

It’s like the sayin. You don’t know where you are going, until you know where you have been.  The scary thing is a lot of BW don’t even know the reality they are living in and have little to no want to change it.

Black women have been too co-dependent on the wrong people, places and things and we have to flesh out why this is not working for us.

Honestly, a lot of the BW’s problems  – a great percentage of them are a result of our choices and actions. No, we cannot change racism and how that may affect so many BW in their daily lives. But hell, so many of our ancestors thrived with less than what we had and made the best and most of their lives as they could despite the obstacles and challenges. I’m almost convinced our ancestors were more psychologically intact than we are today!

BW today are BLESSED and have so much at our fingertips to push forward and be a strong thriving collective of women. We just do not use the resources to do so because we are so stuck on helping people, places and things who are draining us (as individuals and a collective) emotionally, physically and mentally.


😈 No I’m not talking about ORGASMS EITHER!    

There is a saying that Khadija brought up on her blog from a couple of years ago. “BE A BUTTERFLY”. Even if you fake it, people actually buy into whatever you put out. LOL If you put out you are a masculine sista soldjah – you get treated as such. If you put out you are a feminine woman that deserves to be treated as such, that is how you will be treated.


Yeah yeah that is the most boring overused cliché – but its sooooo true!

The fact is, while Black women do suffer in so many areas in society, there are plenty of us who aren’t suffering and who are living the best lives that we can. But I have always felt that no matter how good of a life I have had, that if I care about those who look like me, then I owe it to myself and my “gender tribe” (if you will) to enlighten the best way I can and as I see it.

America is not perfect by any means. But American BW need to take advantage of all the opportunities we have in this country because there are so many. There are other Black women in other countries who wish they had the opportunity to live the best lives they can without having to answer to others. We need to recognize this and utilize this to our advantage.

WARNING: Another corny cliché is coming in 5,4,3,2



The KEY to any powerful movement and strong community is STICKING TOGETHER. Finding LIKE MINDED people who share your values, views on culture and who “get it” and who understand reciprocity.

Look at any thriving community and the foundation is always that culture, group, gender whatever has stuck together by aligning with like-minded individuals. Despite how you or anyone feels about Jews, they have a great blueprint for Black women to follow on how to turn suffering into thriving.

They don’t sit around crying. They get shit done.  They stick together. The uplift themselves and take to task anyone who tries to tarnish their name as a group. But they can only do that because for the most part they have their shit together. You cannot ask anyone or expect anyone to respect you as a group or collective if your group  is a  hot mess!

The Jews understand one basic principle: Stick together, uplift your collective. Jewish people are not the only group that does this, but they are the one group I see who has done this on a very high level compared to others.

Hell even WHITE WOMEN stick together for the most part. They as a collective support each other – especially when they feel they are being attacked.

This is of course all my own opinion and views based on what I’ve seen. So…

But the point I am making is, BW need to learn how to build a stronger collective by looking at how other successful groups have done it.


Of course I don’t view every BW as my sister or a part of my “tribe” because I  have long let go of this notion that I’m going to try to save every Black woman.

Some Black women They would rather stay stuck on stupid! And guess what? I’m not here to unglue them!

 Some Black women want to stay living in RATCHETLAND. And guess what?  I’m not here to help try and  move them out.

Some BW want to stay race / Black male identified. And guess what?  I’m not here to de-doormatize them!

You get the point…

I have no interest in aligning with destructive, co-dependent, non-supportive, narrow thinking  race identified BW who refuse to do what is best for self and their offspring.

Corny cliché # 287644364873374384 – THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL 

Anyway, the point I want to make is – it can and does get better for those BW who use this enlightening period as a way to grow and progress.

Black women despite, do have the ability to live good full prosperous lives and that is what BWE is here for – to light the trail and point you to the North Star.

I know it’s hard not to feel somewhat depressed or overwhelmed by the station BW are in now, but remember there was actually a period where BW were seen as women, were proud, had class and embraced their femininity. I can only speak on the eras I grew up in and remember and the 70’s to mid-80’s was that time I remember where BW still had plenty of feminine qualities left.

Something happened starting in the late 80’s and our image and femininity has been going downhill since.

We can get it back. 😉

I’M ACTUALLY KINDA EXCITED! I’m excited for the future of progressive Black women. AND you too, should be no matter how many harsh articles we write to keep enlightening you to step out of the MAAAAYTRICKS. One day we won’t even be writing these articles anymore because there will be no need for them. But until then, we have to keep each other honest.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. HomesteadGlamourGirl
    Aug 21, 2014 @ 07:46:46

    To all the women reading this, start making your life better, TODAY!



  2. L, Higgin
    Aug 22, 2014 @ 16:55:28

    Hello Neecy, I’m a lurker on your site and thank you for allowing me to read your insightful article. One question what is “Ratchetland” I keep hearing that term among blogger. I do know a ratchet is a tool used for bolt and nuts.



  3. foosrock!
    Aug 23, 2014 @ 01:58:39

    I enjoy tremendously reading articles from black women who take personal responsibility. Thank you for this article. I do enjoy reading yours and other blogs and once in a while leaving a comment because of this: The KEY to any powerful movement and strong community is STICKING TOGETHER. Finding LIKE MINDED people who share your values, views on culture and who “get it” and who understand reciprocity.
    In my private life, I live this. Online I do the same. Cheers.



  4. Chongo
    Aug 25, 2014 @ 00:41:29

    Fake it till you make it, life is what you make it, together we stand divided we fall. All cliches but all meaningful within the contexts that you set out.

    For black women, a lot has happened that is disheartening and exhausting but black women are amazing, beautiful and resilient women. I know, I am one! 🙂 We can turn this around.

    I am playing my part through a mentorship programme for black girls using literature as a medium to communicate, discuss and give young girls a voice through reading and writing. I also discuss Black Women Empowerment issues with the young girls in my family.

    This is not to pat myself on the back or invite congratulations, goodness no. There are black women on the internet and in our communities who are doing far greater work and a better job than I. I thought I would give a practical example of something I am trying to do. I am thrilled about your upcoming documentary and inspired by you and all the black women actually doing something to improve and empower black women through writing, works, projects and living amazing lives.

    The discussion at Not Your Girl Friday (one less soldier’s blog) in the comment section of the “What’s in a name?” blog post was enlightening and rich with knowledge and ideas for black women. I never cease to be amazed by how much black women share with each other.

    Black women can thrive and live amazing lives, I see black women who are doing this and I am inspired. I see black women sharing information, exchanging ideas, putting plans into action and I am inspired.



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