If you haven’t figured it out by now- I love me some CORNY CLICHE’S!!!
“The best defense is a good offense” is an adage that has been applied to many fields of endeavor, including games and military combat. Generally, the idea is that strong offensive action will preoccupy the opposition and ultimately hinder its ability to mount an opposing counterattack, leading to a strategic advantage.
If you can take your opponent out, before HE starts to consider taking YOU out, you don’t need any other defense…
The quote is attributed to Clausewitz works ‘On War’, which is in turn based on the work of Sun Tzu and Mao tse Tung. In it he states that if party A does nothing but defend himself from party B then he will inevitably be worn down and defeated as the attacking party B is free to constantly regroup and attack endlessly. The only option to successfully defend against B is to go on the offensive and remove B’s attacking capabilities.
When you take an offensive stance you are striking first. You are pushing to get yourself in a winning position FIRST and forcing the opponent on the defense. Of course if you have a shitty offensive strategy, you will not win anything. More on that later….
But that’s the point. When you are in an offensive position, typically you have the advantage because you’ve already come up with enough tactics and strategies you feel will gain you the win. The person on defense is simply always in a RESPONDING position. Which means they cannot come up with any real tactics until after they have been attacked.
Think about it, when you have or when someone has been attacked, be it verbally or physically or emotionally, what happens? You are caught in THAT moment and are trying to figure out what to do next. Do you respond, walk away, fight back. Your head is spinning and trying to come up with the best tactic RIGHT AWAY to keep that person from attacking again. While you are doing all of this thinking on how to counter attack, the person on the offense (who has attacked you) is already making their next move because they had time to plan and execute before you could think.
By that point, as the explanation above states, you are so busy fighting and responding, you have no time to create tactics, except in the heat of the moment of responding. While some great tactics and strategies may come from last minute preparation or heat of the moment epiphanies, that is not a safe nor comfortable way to try to win battles. You aways want to have a clear head being fully able to execute, think out your choices, options, strategies and tactics – FIRST.
SPORTS AND WHAT DEFENSE & OFFENSE MEANS IN TERMS OF WINNING
If you look at games like Basketball and football even baseball, a team can have the best defense in the world. But if their offense cannot score and get points on the board THEY LOSE! Period. Points ultimately win the game.
In sports like basketball and football, if the offense on a particular team has done a superb job in scoring so many points above the opposing team (which is always the ultimate goal – to score as many points possible), that teams defense doesn’t have to extend as much energy trying to keep the opponents from scoring as the other losing teams defense would. All they have to do is work at keeping the other team from catching up.
However, if your offensive game is bad, your defense will be working overtime constantly trying to counter-attack and defend its position from the other team with a better offense and more scoring points on the board.
WHAT THIS GOTTA DO WITH BLACK WOMEN NEECY!???
In essence how this relates to BW and their lives are, BW are constantly finding themselves in a defensive position and being worn down and defeated because they never have any scoring points on the board. WHY? Their opponents on the offense STRUCK first and keep striking with tactics, strategies and techniques to keep BW on the responding defensive end, ultimately taking away the ability for BW to come up with their own strategies and techniques FIRST to be the one with the points on board.
UHM NEECY ARE YOU SUGGESTING I “ATTACK FIRST” BY KICKING THE LIVING CRAP OUTTA MY HATERS AND OPPONENTS?
Well since you mentioned it……NAH I’m just kidding. No! How a BW attacks on the offense is for example putting out various things that show your not buying what the haters are selling. That could be, being in the best physicals shape possible, not living up to stereotypes or negative expectations on BW, walking with your head held high. Having dignity and self respect. There are so many things BW can do to throw their opponents into defensive mode by simply being healthy, happy and loving yourself.
“THE DEVIL COMES TO KILL, STEAL, AND DESTORY!”
That is a popular saying that is often used by pastors in churches that I love and remind myself of when someone or something negative is trying to take me down. Below I listed the things and entities who could be considered the BW’s opponents.
— Any person, group, entity or thing that is constantly trying to keep your self esteem as low as possible.
— Any person, group, entity or thing that tries to convince you to do things against your own best interests as a BW.
— Any person, group, entity or thing, that realizes the only way they can keep winning is by keeping you DOWN and out.
— Any person, group, entity or thing, that has used shrewd tactics and strategies to gain your time, money and resources only to take them and dump your ass on the side of the road once they got what they needed.
— Any person, group, thing or entity, that wants to make you believe your lot in life is to serve others, be the caretaker for others, be a Captain – SAVE – A hoe, man, community etc., be the MAMMY, MULE, workhorse for others without reciprocation
— Any person, group, entity, or thing that tries to make you carry the burden of choices made by not just yourself but others as well
— Any person, group, entity, or thing that does not reciprocate or extend the same care, concern for you that you have done for them
__ Any person, group, entity, or thing trying to bamboozle you into accepting crappy images of yourself and womanhood to their own benefits and to your own collective demise
Shit, I can go on all day! I’ll stop there because you get thee point.
While BW are busy trying to counter-attack the opponents in defensive mode, Black women can never regroup and come up with strategies to win.
HOW DOES A BLACK WOMAN GET AN OFFENSIVE GAME THESE DAYS WHEN SHE IS ALWAYS IN A DEFENSIVE STANCE
In order to be that BW that has a good offensive game, you have to… WAIT FOR IT…… get yourself out of situations and away from people, entities and things that detract from you strategizing and coming up with ways to get winning points on the board for yourself!!!!!
You need to be in healthy environments, around healthy people, and in stable situations that enable you to strategize with a clear head.
When you have done this, you have put any anti BW attackers on the defense. HOW? They see you have your head right and your shit together and their job now is to try to take that away from you. But once you have already “seen tha light” rarely is there ever any turning back! There aint nothing like a free Black woman. And there aint nothing SCARIER to anti BW haters than a free from everyone’s shackles Black woman! Its a beautiful
thing THANG on this side and that is where a BW who has taken the offensive strategy STAYS.
And that is where your opponents will expend all their energies unsuccessfully because what they don’t know is, you done already created your laundry list of tactics and moves to keep you ahead of the game.
Your opponents on the defense cannot strategize EFFECTIVELY against you, because you keep hitting them first with winning tactics that are putting you ahead on the score board, leaving them left with counter-attacking and hoping for points from there.
When you are counter-attacking in any given situation, you are playing on the other teams/persons turf. You are not in a position to strategize effectively based on YOUR desires and needs. You are only coming up with ways to keep them from stomping you out of the game.
In essence, what I am saying is, when a Black woman is in defensive mode, you IMO have already begun to lose the battle. Looking around at the choices and decisions BW make these days, its the Tell Tale of what position we are in at the moment – and it aint the offensive position!
THIS SHOULD BE A START
Keep in mind what I am listing is NOT an exhaustive list. There are so many more things that what I have listed that BW can and NEED to do. And you will find them, if you follow my advice above.
SO. Ways in which BW can be on the offensive end vs. defensive end of life are:
— Get out of toxic places, away from toxic people, and remove toxic things from your life. I know that’s hard sometimes, but the more you practice and master this, the better off you will be mentally, emotionally and even physically.
— Have a full on vetting process in line for every person you allow into your intimate space and life (men and women, not just for relationships and dating, but in general anyone who will be apart of your close circle of friends, etc). Anyone who doesn’t pass, get put at arms length and in many cases removed from your space completely
— Do not engage obvious detractors seeking keep you from moving towards the North Star
— Have a set of values and guidelines you play by for YOURSELF and life and seek like minded people who share those same values and guidelines
— Always acknowledge *SINCERE* allies who have done something in your favor and reciprocate in some way.
DO NOT ignore people, things, or entities that actually extend some kind of compassion or showing some sincere concern for your happiness. This is how you build a network of solid allies. Always seek to be reciprocated and always reciprocate to those who have extended themselves to you.
— Money talks, bullshit walks.
Sowwy. Its true. Always try to put and keep yourself in a savvy financial winning situation, because people who have to depend on others to take care of them or help them constantly, put themselves in situations to be used and abused and to do things they may not want to do out of desperation.
For Black women as a COLLECTIVE, once we figure out how to make our finances work in OUR FAVOR as women, we can start demanding and getting the respect we deserve because MONEY talks.
— Break the chains.
If you grew up in a toxic CRAY CRAY or dysfunctional environment, have CRAY CRAY mommas and daddies or family members, recognize that doesn’t have to be your existence as an adult. Too many people sit and use their childhoods as a crutch for how they live their lives as adults.
LET.IT.GO. Get help or therapy. But once you become an ADULT no matter what has happened to you as a child, it is YOUR responsibility to choose the life you want to live thereafter.
It is YOUR responsibility to improve your self esteem and the way you feel about yourself. Because your abusers most likely have gone on with their shitty lives with very little regret about how they have done you.
When you keep claiming that others who have hurt you still run your emotional and mental or physical life, you still have placed all the power in their hands. Either take your power back and make the necessary steps and changes to own it, or just accept you are allowing yourself to be powerless and stop looking for pity!
— Recognize No one owes you anything.
If you have allowed yourself to sacrifice and be SUPER MAMMY for everyone and received nothing in return, then it was YOUR FAULT for not being on the offense and making sure that who you were sacrificing for has shown some kind of reciprocation before you made your second sacrifice. If you have sacrificed for someone who you know deep down had not earned that sacrifice in the first place and they show they wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire? TOO BAD! Learn from that lesson and do not wash, rinse and repeat.
— Your self worth and validation as a BW should be controlled by YOU and you only! The minute you start placing your value and worth as a woman and BW into the hands of others, you’ve taken yourself out of offensive position to constantly be put on the defensive. WHY? Cause ain’t NO ONE, GROUP, ENTITY in these current times trying to put BW ahead of anything unless is for their greater benefit. Believe that! And when the chips fall and all the rah rahing you gave in support doesn’t pay off you are left once again LOSING and look dazed and
I think the point is clear. When a Black woman is in offensive position and she has a good game plan for herself, her opponents will eventually be worn down with all the tactics and strategies you have set forth for yourself to win. Eventually they will die off and lose the battle because they cannot stop you or catch up with what you have already scored for yourself.
— The key to avoiding sociopaths and abusers? OFFENSE! Don’t be that woman trying to figure out how to leave and get out safely! I can tell you sociopaths and abusers avoid women with a high self worth and a strong vetting process. They disappear verrrry quickly once they realize you cannot be preyed upon or run through the ringer and most importantly – ABUSED.