It’s NOVEMBER already!!!???? And no more VICTIMHOOD!

Where does the time go?


It seems like after you turn 18 the years just FLY by and you kep getting older, and older, and older. LOL


HEY YALL!!! October has been a crazay busy! WHEW. Everytime I sat down to do a post I got sidetracked with work and everything else life brings.


And I developed some new obsessions in the last month. Reading about ISIS and EBOLA in the news. JESUSSS BE A FENCE! What is going on in the world? I have so much to say!

Anyway I’m back with a vengeance and I will probably make some people uncomfortable with my next couple posts. But you know what? I have come to terms with who I am and I just have to learn to be comfortable with that. I have also accepted that in that I will turn some people off and people will make negative judgements about me. But such is life. For the numbers of people who will balk at the things I say, there are many more who GET ME and get what I am saying., And that is what really matters – the people who GET IT.


I would never say anything harmful or to be outright mean to anyone. But I have to accept I am more of a tough love kind of person than I am an “enabler” or coddler or even a softy who is going to tip toe around calling a spade a spade. I am not saying this is the way or best way to be, I’m just saying that with me “it is what it is” and I can no longer get caught up in feeling that my approach is any more WRONG than a person who takes a very passive approach to saying how they feel.

Which brings me to the topic and title of the next couple posts.
















Rut Roh!!!!! The SGHTF!!


I’m mad. i’m tired. I’m weary. I just can’t with the constant victimhood and finger pointing as to why certain BW cannot get themselves together and keep making OBVIOUS silly choices that even some teenagers would avoid.


Hang tight. I ave over 4 pages of rambling that I have to edit down to something comprehinsible. LOL in the meantime thus article below will get you prepared.

Do You Have ‘Victim Mentality’? What To Do About It


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rae
    Nov 06, 2014 @ 01:55:54

    Hey Neecy , I agree with what EVERYTHING you were saying on karazins blog. A blOg which I rarely go on anymore because the women come off desperate. It’s embarrassing, something about her blog rubs be the wrong way. It’s as if these women have a superiority complex when it comes to ‘other’ black women. The special snowflake syndrome. It’s always on black womens flaw and how we have to behave instead of nonblack men and what they should change.Also, karazin comes of a tad bit antiblack. Most of the women have been commenting on that blog for years and still no man?? This makes me think of what my cousin said to me. When black men date other races of women they don’t think about it, when black women do it they have the race on their mind. There is a lot over truth to that from whAt I see on karazin’s blog. You get what I mean? HOWEVER, I feel like black people truly underestimate mental health and you are one of them…I hope you take no umbrage at that. Most black women have been indoctrinated since birth and endure mental and spiritual abuse from infancy. The mind and brain is truly a powerful, complex, sensitive part of the being. If you’ve been hearing and being told the same thing for the first quarter of your life you will not be a person who can think on your own. It’s like brainwashing. It’s like Stockholm syndrome. Search up Rudine howard and Truddi chase on youtube. I used to think that everyone people can overcome trials and tribulations. I no longer believe that. Again, I agreed with everything you said but some of have a healthier and stronger state of mind than others. You and I are one of them, most black women are not as much as it hurts to say. I did not grow up going to church which is rare for a caribbean. My dad is agnostic closer to being athiest. My mom is a believer and that’s about it. I believe in god but I don’t go to church. I’m not a church goer and I’ve never been one.



    • Neecy
      Nov 06, 2014 @ 10:45:11

      Hey Rae!!

      No I am not above being challenged on my ways of thinking AT ALL.

      And i am glad to see a different POV as long as its not the righteous all knowing kind that you find at some other blogs with annoying commenters.

      But I do understand the severity of the mental indoctrination of AA women. BUt I guess I am just at a point that BW cannot keep using this excuse to not be better. WHY? Because BW do not have people to fall back on when she makes terrible choices.

      While BW may experince heavy indoctrination in various places like the Black church and Blk comm, BW also do not live in a vaccum. BW go to school, turn on TV and see the world around them. They can see right from wrong and the consequences of making bad choices and aligning with things nad people who are not in your best interest.

      How many examples do BW need to see they are not valued in thier communities before they do something. I don’t care if a pastor or Black man sits in front of a BW 24 hours a day telling her “its all GOOD!” and then she walks outseide and sees with her own EYES that its not really all good.

      At some point the indoctrination will either BREAK or continue. No one is going to wait around for BW to become mentaly healthy enough to start recognizing and removing themsleves from BLATANT and OBVIOUS dysfunction!

      Children from the day they are born are INDOCTRINATED with something. We all hope they are indoctrinated with healthy ideals and by healthy people. But at some point that child becomes aware of the world around them and realizes they are a unique human being with an ability to make choices and develop thier own thoughts and ideas based on what they are seeing and living. God gave every man and woman eyes and a brain. And beause we do not live in a vaccuum even if we are indoctrinated, we can still idetify dysfunction and when somehting isn;t working out in our favor.

      And once a child becomes an ADULT, the choice then becomes thier own to either break the indoctrination they received from thier parents, schools and other entities and take what works for their lives and throw away what doesn’t and become thier own person.

      Part of me also beieves that BW like and love dysfunction because its a lot easier to stay the same and do nothing than it is to chalenge yourself and work hard at breaking dysfucntional cycles.

      It goes back to victimhood. Its much easier to be a victim than a Victor. being a victor takes WORK – MENTAL AND PHYSCIAL. Some and many BW are just lazy and have become comfy with accepting less than bevause it will take work, and a willingess to break out of her comfort zone and CHANGE.



  2. foosrock!
    Nov 06, 2014 @ 12:43:19

    Welcome back……again, Neecy!

    I understand the indoctrination, but can’t fathom why the victimhood continue. It needs an end, so am happy to join you on that road as a reader, commenter and long time fan of your big titties ;-).
    One of the things that I read so often is how many of the women on these blogs are still living in areas that are toxic, finding excuses as to why they’re still there. It’s all a bit mind boggling, really.

    So, am looking forward to your “tough love” blog.




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