Sorry to the good LADIES  in the audience who come here to read uplifting posts and not DRAMA…..but I need to nip something in the bud b/c I have some crazies trying to start mess with me.

So I’m interrupting your regularly scheduled program.

for those of you who keep posting comments (that keep getting tossed in the TRASH BIN) (you know who you  are) coming to this here blog with your DRAMA and attempts at BULLYING you better keep it moving. I’m a grown busy woman with ZERO time for your high school drama antics and egos.

if you have a problem with what I write, go to your own BLOG (and take your gaggle of trouble making geese with you!)  and hate on Neecy and Neecys Nest  all you want – cause I can give ZERO bleeps about how any if you feel about me or my writing or blog!

BUT YOU WILL NOT disrupt my blog with your petty nonsense and drama.   Do  yourselves a favor (you know who you are) – SAVE your keystrokes because every one of your comments are being TRASHED!

I  am not returning to high school BS nor putting up with your  or your GAGGLE OF GEESE and their mean girl bullying shenanigans.

if you have a problem with something I’ve written, ACT LIKE AN ADULT WITH SOME RESPECT and email me directly.   DO NOT disrupt my posts and comments section with your nonsense.

*drops mike*


19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Neecy
    Jan 08, 2015 @ 19:23:39

    This blog was peaceful and drama free until *certain people* starting showing up.

    I WILL NOT be bullied or pushed into corners in my own home with your messiness.

    Here’s a lesson to the youngins reading:

    DO NOT EVER go to someone else’s home starting trouble. You will never win.

    You can talk about me or my blog till you’re blue in the face, BUT YOU WILL NOT disrespect me in MY HOME!

    Some of you “ladies” really need help and have A LOT if nerve.




  2. Neecy
    Jan 08, 2015 @ 19:47:28

    Also unfortunately I’m going to have to put comments in moderation before they get posted, just for a minute until these trouble makers go away for good.

    SOWWY! 😔



  3. lunanoire
    Jan 09, 2015 @ 07:00:45

    This is unfortunate to hear. Neecy, your posts are great! I really appreciate the fact that you acknowledge that AA BW have an uphill climb, and encourage us to work on our climbing skills and strategies.



    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2015 @ 19:25:32


      I am not going to be bullied by people with egos. I’m not stealing or copying or trying to have a pissing match with BWE bloggers. the only issue is their egos and unwillingness to let people just do what is best for BW. Its always about THEM and their EGOS when it should ONLy be about the betterment of BW as the main goal.



  4. Star
    Jan 09, 2015 @ 16:00:19

    Hi Neecy,

    I absolutely LOVE your blog!! I thank you so much for creating a space for progressive, forward thinking Black women. I was wondering if you could make a blog post on how one could go about dating interracially ? I am a 24 year old black woman that is in really good shape ( I work out at least 5 times a week), wears make-up, high heels, very feminine, shy. I have never been in a serious relationship. I get told that I’m beautiful by both women and men but when I’m out men never approach me. At the gym that I attend I notice that alot of the guys stare at me but don’t say anything. I’m starting to wonder if I should suck it up and start approaching men?? What do you think? Naturally, I feel like men should approach women but I feel like if I continue to wait for men to approach me I’ll be single for the rest of my life. Please advise. Thanks!:)



    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2015 @ 19:29:29

      HEY STAR!

      OMG I am so glad you brough tthis up. I will do a post on this as this is a very common theme amongst BW. the reality is a lot of Non BM are looking, but very reluctant to pursue because they just do not know what the outscome will be.

      I can understand as BW have never really done much to show publibly our interest in crossing the color line.

      So in short, I would say you don’t need to *APPROACXH* them. But there are ways in getting them to know you’re very interested.

      I would suggest smiling nad making small talk about something. For instance, in the gym if you see a guy who is staring at you and you are attracted/interested and want to know if he is, I would one day laugh and say somehting regarding hte gym or ask him how he likes the gym. ANYTHING to get a convo going to loosen the tention and open him up. If he doesn’t really take the bait from there, you gotta move on.

      Eventually when you do this enough, you will get a bite. And that is the one you want.The one who will take the bait and take it from there.

      My philosophy is if a man is interested all you have to do is give him a little nudge. If he doesn’t respond from that, just move on.

      But i am going to do a post on this.



    • Rosie Posie
      Jan 12, 2015 @ 09:24:58

      Another tip. Another blogger dropped this, but it could be possible BW are not finding men because they’re in the wrong place.

      A good place to meet a man are where there is more men than women, where there are diverse crowds of men, where only a certain type of upwardly mobile person can afford, and where the men are doing something out of the box, adventurous, or educational. Not only you’ll be one of the few BW there, you’ll be one of the few women there. The men will likely be open to you because men who go to these things tend to be more open to diversity and have good salaries/businesses. There are older and young men there too, and many go alone of with a small group of friends.

      Like Skiing/snowboarding (esp the resorts, flush with men), hiking, athletic group sports with a lot of men, Hockey, rock climbing, deep sea fishing,  food tours, at wine tastings, cooking classes, at alternative music concerts, the camera shop, at gamer conferences, museums (Museum members Gallery openings), book readings, financial seminars (worked for Ms. George Lucas), Artists circle, upscale fundraising dinners/galas, yachting, polo watching, country clubs, etc. Not only they’re healthy hobbies, its a good way to network too.

      I don’t know what your male to female ratio is in the gym you attend, but a place where women are welcome, but the less women there are the better.



      • Rosie Posie
        Jan 12, 2015 @ 09:34:37

        Another one. Any “extreme” sport (mountain biking 14ers, etc.), Wakeboarding, windsurfing, Surfing, kayaking, etc.

        You don’t have to be good at it. Just pick one that you like, and have fun with it. Make sure you have some makeup and look cute in your gear. A cute beginner whose having fun will have men flocking to her to help her out. People have met spouses on the mountain snow lift.



      • jazzyfae45
        Jan 12, 2015 @ 10:31:37

        I read that article too. Your talking about Beyond Black & White right? I’ve never really been much of the adventurous type but I enjoy trying new things. And after reading her article it has given me new ideas. I’m not going to be able to go skiing anytime soon (it is on my to-do list though), but there are many other options like the ones you mentioned. But your right if black women really want to meet more men we need to go where the men are and expose ourselves to them. They aren’t going to appear in front of us out of thin air. Rock climbing was something I tried last year and enjoyed it and now that I think about there were lots of men there. Too bad I was with my family at the time lol.



    • itsmeak
      May 23, 2015 @ 06:32:56

      Check this book out Star. It should help 🙂 :




  5. foosrock!
    Jan 10, 2015 @ 02:33:10

    Drama drama drama!. Goodness, it’s the reason why I don’t comment on other blogs where there is an abundance of black women. It gets tiring having to constantly add an addendum, tip toe around hurt feelings that have nothing to do with one, and the regurgitatedd dialogue (where in the blazes did cognitive thinking go where black women are concerned?). Like, haven’t we moved on as yet?. X-years later and such rubbish is still happening and black women have the SAME issues. UGH!. I miss Alee’s blog, and Neecy’s Nest (how it once was). You were the few blogs by black women I enjoyed coming to and especially commenting on articles, as you presented yourselves as very very open to ideas and differring opinions and especially graciously handled them, but too, you stayed away from BWE issues. Neecy, you can’t fix black women. Too many come with baggage and they will project it onto you and drive you nuts!. I say, go back to the flirty/fun yet informative blog formula that attracted a more diverse audience.

    Lange lebe Neecy’s Blog! Alles liebe 😉



    • Neecy
      Jan 10, 2015 @ 19:33:36

      Sadly, FOOS its not any of the general commenters starting this drama. Its people wo feel they can bully other BW bloggers around because they have egos.

      I do this for free right now. I spend my FREE TIME doing this because I CARE. I am not trying ot have a pissing match about who created what terms and concepts. PLEASE! Any and every word and concept used on any blog has been taken from some other person or entity and used for purposes of getting a message across.

      if we had to citate and reference every damn time we used a word or concept written and used by someone else, no one would even bother! Its ridiculous!

      I’m not the one and I am here to help BW and not fight and argue with some BW who can’t get their egos in check and who think they own everything, word, concepot relating to Black women improvement.



  6. jazzyfae45
    Jan 10, 2015 @ 20:45:31

    Sorry Neecy you had to deal with drama like that. I’very noticed a lot that with different black women improvement blogs the past year or so, so I’m not all that surprised you experienced it too. Like you did your all in it for the same thing, which is to help black girls/women.

    I get the whole giving people credit for original terms or concepts that no one has used. It’s like for essays I do for my college class, your suppose to cite ideas that are not yours and someone else came up with. BUT if it’s common knowledge and has been around for a long time you don’t need to cite it. Simple. And reading your last article, with the exception of the “stay neutral” concept nothing else you wrote in it was “stolen” or belonged to anyone. Like having boundaries, vetting men, and being stealthy have been around long before BWE even started.

    Just wanted to let you know that what you do is greatly appreciated and this young black women is absorbing everything you have to offer😊



  7. OriginalWoman13
    Jan 12, 2015 @ 23:05:42

    Hi Neecy!
    I’m new to your blog and would like to say that I love what you are doing to help ALL Black Women/Girls in the Black/African Diaspora. I’ve read some of your past posts including this one and you state MANY TRUTHS. I am eager to read more! I have been inspired to create my own blog entitled Original Woman (just started it) in an effort to help ALL Black Women/Girls to understand our worth and value by featuring posts about the TRUE beauty, value, status, and TREMENDOUS achievements/contributions of Black Women from ancient times to the present. See, I believe that if more Black Women educate each other, ourselves, and our daughters about our TREMENDOUS contributions and achievements it will help to eliminate so much self-hate/self-loathing attitudes. That what needs to be apart of that therapy/self-healing that you talk about many of us are in desperate need of! Check out my blog at originalwoman13.wordpress.com.



    • Olu
      Jan 18, 2015 @ 17:39:37

      Look forward to reading your blog, OriginalWoman. And Neecy, you have my ongoing support. I really enjoy your blog and the ideas shared here; stay encouraged!



  8. bubblychie27
    Jan 29, 2015 @ 10:32:04

    YASSS!. This is why I have a blog rule section on my blog because I know how people are. This is YOUR space Neecy, and you have every RIGHT to set the parameters and rules here. Love your blog! 🙂



  9. omerta327
    Feb 09, 2015 @ 11:08:29

    Excuse you!!!

    Hey Neece. It’s been a while since I posted. I liked this blog a lot better when it was a dating/relationship blog instead of an estrogen-soaked BWE blog. But you do whatever you like with it. I’ll just have to roll on over to CH to cleanse myself. 😉

    So how ya been? Howz Zorro (the cat, not the moose)?



  10. omerta327
    Feb 12, 2015 @ 05:28:33

    ‘Your comment is awaiting moderation.”
    And waiting, and waiting, and waiting…

    C’mon, Neece, get on the stick! Andele, andele!



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