DON’T STAY LOSING PART III – STRATEGY
So far I’ve done two parts to the ‘Don’t Stay Losing Series”. The first was – TRUTHS and the second was SIMPLICITY.
Now let’s move into STRATEGY.
But before we do that…..Here’s a thought to kick things off.
I was sitting in my car the other day during yet another excruciating rush hour home in LA traffic. And something dawned on me as I got really angry at the person ahead of me who kept letting the “cheaters” (you know those people who don’t want to wait at the long traffic light, or long line of cars to get on the freeway ramp and they drive up on the side and try to cut in front of the people right at the entrance or at the front of the light)?
Yeah I’m talking about you! No seriously but you know those people right? And it aggravates the living crap out of you because you sat in that long assed line waiting your turn like everyone else who is tired and just wants to get home or to other obligations and these asshats just keep trying to skip ahead of the line as if their time and destination are far more important than yours!
(BTW yes I do cheat every once in a while. If you pay it forward ever so often and let someone cut in front of you, you can do it too. Just don’t do it regularly and do it politely with a smile and “thank you” wave to the person you’ve cut).
Anyway, but the most aggravating thing was the person in front of me, keep letting a bunch of cheaters (like 3-4 cars) skip ahead of him which meant I and others had to wait that much longer to get on the freeway ramp even though we waited the line like good citizens.
One car. OK. But 3,4 cars – HAIL NO!
After witnessing this, I suddenly had an epiphany! This is BW! That annoying do gooder who kept letting others jump the line in front of him is doing what BLACK WOMEN do all the time!
BW are always letting people skip the line ahead of them further pushing them back and making them miss their obligations while letting others who didn’t want to play “fair” get to where they need and want to be much sooner. The other cars saw this one person kept letting people in, so they took advantage and used him to cut to the front.
But no fear. Neecy is here to help you stop doing that!
When people try to do that to me and I’m at the front, depending on my mood, every now and then I allow ONE person to jump the line in front of me – I’m paying it forward. But most times I make it so that they cannot cut and have to end up waiting BEHIND ME until another person decides to let them in.
I don’t always do this, because I find it inconsiderate and RUDE that people just think they can boguard their way in the front of the line while everyone else is waiting patiently.
You have a right as a BW to not allow others to keep “cutting” you to get ahead. You can play the game and stop them in their tracks like I do when I’m just not in the mood to deal with that.
- Now onto the MEAT and GUTS of this POST
“If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future, look into your present actions.” ~Some Buddhist
BW are very clear about our past and we have been able to put two and two together and correlate how that has affected our present conditions. There is nothing we can do about the former. But there is something we can do about the latter – our future and how our actions TODAY will predict what our future will be. And I think the writing is on the wall. We are at the crossroads where we either CHANGE or continue to be at the mercy of all others stepping on, over us to get what they want and leaving us destitute.
So that is where strategy comes in. Better believe no successful group with any kind of infrastructure got there by CHANCE or by being ACCOMODATING all the darn time. Everything and everyone today that has some power or infrastructure or even success of some sort had to be calculating to get there and remain in that position.
Plainly put, BW are too damned nice and accommodating and look where it has gotten us as a collective??? Where has it gotten BW? STALLED and waiting in that long traffic line to get on the freeway ramp much longer than we need to be.
In a perfect world being accommodating, always forgiving, “nice” and sacrificing would garner much reciprocation and rewards. But this aint a perfect world AT.ALL and human beings are designed to take advantage of those who do not protect themselves and stand their ground.
BW thrive off of the ideas that our sacrifice is going to somehow be rewarded, although we never see the rewards. But we still keep sacrificing, accommodating notwithstanding! The only thing we get is the fumes left from the cars speeding off onto the freeway that we opened up for them .
I’m a spiritual person, so I have my limits in terms of “shystiness” and how I go about getting what I want. I don’t believe in being sinister and being manipulative or taking on sociopathic tendencies to get ahead and get what I want. But I also don’t believe in being the all scarifying sheep with no demands of reciprocation is intelligent or progressive either.
To be calculating is not always sinister, it just depends on the person. It’s all on how you go about it. One thing being calculating is – is *SMART* – especially if you are in a weaker position compared to others. You better believe every other person in this society that keeps kicking the dust in yiur face, is being calculating.
All those TV ads where BW are fat, sassy and asexual is a CALCULATED move on the parts of your competition and those who want to keep you “out the game” and at their mercy. Any and everything that shows and puts BW in a negative light or seen as un-feminine is a CALCULATED move. And it is WORKING BIG TIME. So if you are all about “I can’t be calculating to get ahead” then you most very likely will not get very far.
Here’s what we *DO* know by trial and error as BW:
- You will not get out of a weaker position by being accommodating towards those who are not accommodating towards you or who are non-reciprocal
- You will not get out of a weaker position by caping, and being a captain-save-a-_______ (fill in the blank)
- You will not get out of a weaker position by being “nice”.
- You will not get out of a weaker position by putting others feelings and needs before your own.
- You will not get out of a weaker position by offering up yourself for suffering and pain so that others can like you more or give you wet soppy doggy treats.
YOU *WILL* get out of a weaker position by being CUNNING (to a certain degree), CALCULATING, & STRATEGIC.
HOW TO START BEING CALCULATING
I’m not going to literally break down every step one needs to do to be calculating, because you all are intelligent and can read and understand the definitions and take on whatever steps you need to take to be successful. But I will give you what IMO is the first and most important step for BW to learn how to be calculating.
That is learning , practicing the art of being APATHETIC.
- showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern. Being indifferent
Here are some synonyms to help drive the meaning home:
Yeah yeah I know, that’s not what BIG MOMMA, GRANMA and everyone told us to do or be, but it’s a new day! APATHY is going to be your BESTES FRIEND in the journey to freedom as a BW!
But Apathy towards the *RIGHT* things is important. Right now BW are apathetic to the things that are crucial to our survival. And that is not SMART.
BW need to learn how to become apathetic to the many people, things, and entities that have proven to NOT be in your individual and OUR COLLECTIVE best interests. It’s kinda in the STAYING NEUTRAL family. It means just stop inserting yourself into people and messiness that is supposed to strip you of your sanity, well-being and often times RESCOURCES.
Learn to simply be un-affected by other people’s obvious attempts to reel you in for the kill. Because as long as they keep reeling you in, you can never focus on coming up and executing STRATEGIES to better your individual and our collective lives as BW. And if you had STRATEGY in the first place, those scorpions couldn’t even get close enough to reel you in. They’d find another and easier PREY to reel in.
There’s a reason why sociopaths target “weaker” and more empathetic accommodating people and why they are scared shitless of confident- self-assured people who they know thinks highly of themselves.
Being constantly empathetic, accommodating and sacrificing towards others has been TRAGIC for the Black female collective with no signs of getting any better until BW learn to do as others do and look out for self-FIRST and only give yields to others who have and are willing to reciprocate and ally with us in GIVE and TAKE relationships of any kind.
- a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim.
This is probably the biggest thorn in the BW’s side right now. To be honest, BW have *NEVER* had any real strategies for our collective lives and many times our individual lives.
And if we do have strategies they are the most NON-EFFECTIVE counterproductive strategies known to man and womankind!
We’re throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks. And if it sticks (for like 1 second) and then slides down off the wall, we don’t pick up another piece of shit to toss, we go and try to gather and “prop up” the useless shit that fell off the wall onto the floor. Instead of taking the cue that if it doesn’t stay stuck to the wall, it’s probably not the shit we need and we need to move onto some new shit.
Sure there may be BW who have strategy in their individual lives, but by the looks of things *collectively*, these BW are not very common these days.
So STRATEGY is the biggest HUMP BW have to get over. That is why it’s the middle term in this series. It’s the big HUMP that BW have to get over before they start heading into the more rewarding parts.
I’m going to just state some *OBVIOUS* Missions and goals that BW need to have. And these mission and goals will be the foundations of developing strategies to make them happen successfully. Of course this is just a blog post, so the list is not exhaustive.
- MISSION – to secure the highest quality mate you can.
- MISSION – to get to the highest economic bracket you can; being poor and in underclass these days is a sure way to be abused and lack any kinds of protections you need. You are a TARGET for easy prey.
- MISSION – avoid getting manhandled by the police by understanding they are not the police of yesterday and are looking for reasons to abuse minority women (Yes I am DEAD serious)
- MISSION – stay out of the justice system as much as possible because its designed and targeted to work against minority women (How many Asian women do you think are filling up prisons in the USA? There’s a reason – they have obviously got some kind of memo that staying out of the justice system works BEST). Women in prison are abused and killed systematically by the male guards and it’s a horrible situation. Talk about no real protection?
- MISSION – teach any young BW in your life how they need to navigate the waters in society to avoid being VICTIMS and how to instead be VICTORS
- MISSION – get health in order (yes things are changing in medical arena that will not favor those with tons of avoidable medical issues)
- MISSION – get away from toxic Black areas where you will likely be targeted by feral/criminal Black males
- MISSION – surround yourself and only deal with like-minded individuals with many of the same goals, values or missions (that are UPWARD and not BACKWARDS)
- MISSION – Apathy towards things and people who are not moving you forward and instead keeping you stagnant or pushing you further down the rabbit hole
- MISSION – Stop inserting yourself into things and people AND SITUATIONS that do not benefit you in the least or have nothing to do with you; stay neutral
- MISSION – Embrace your femininity; when you do this you will find yourself unwilling to do the work of men and to fight everyone’s battles
- MISSION – Develop a network of allies
- MISSION – SUPPORT and give back to people, things and entities willing to invest in and support you; do not take their allying with you for granted and simply be a leech
- MISSION – Understand the “United we stand, Divided we fall” mantra as TRUTH when looking at other LIKE-MINDED BW (keyword LIKE MINDED BW). We are all in this together and we need to stick together to fight against the forces trying to destroy the whole of BW collective.
- MISSION – help build towards a collective for Progressive BW who have left the BC and want to create a “new” community where our children (yes Mixed with Black mothers) benefit from being our progeny.
- ULTIMATE MISSION – Build personal INFRASTRUCTURE and contribute to help building COLLECTIVE INFRASTRUCTIRE with like-minded BW.
You may add any you feel I missed that may be important!
Strategy is sooo important now more than anything in BW’s lives. In the next Don’t Stay Losing post, I want to tackle Infrastructure, why it’s important and how to go about building it and looking for brainstorming ACTION ORIENTED ideas on how we as like-minded BW can build our *collective* infrastructures like all other powerful groups in this country and world. We can do this without the BC and BM, but will need to brainstorm on ways to do such.