Having (or not having) STRATEGY can be the difference between LIFE & DEATH for a Black woman

I’m going to talk to you like I would my own DAUGHTER. So please understand there is no victim blaming here. Just common sense talk that a lot of BW need to hear and UNDERSTAND if they want to SURVIVE and THRIVE in this country these days of craziness.

Ok So I have been following the Sandra Bland story since last week and have been meaning to write about it. I’m glad I waited and here is why:

A piece of me dies when I hear of a sister being beaten or killed by law enforcement. I’m tired of feeling hopeless. But until Police reform is heavily in effect, BW are going to learn the hard way on how to be strategic when in the face of vulnerability.

WHEN YOU ARE VULNERABLE, STRATEGY SAYS DO ANY AND EVERYTHING TO AVOID BEING EASY PREY

Here is something I do not think the average African American BW understands or realizes. WE.ARE.ALONE. Meaning, we have no community, no MEN, and damn near any BW to protect us or our lives and best interests.

We are disposable to most in this world. If we do not take care of ourselves, we will continue to be at the mercy of the predators with no support other than friends and family.

We are hunted by law enforcement loonies because we are easy prey. If BW thought only BM were dealing with police brutality, Driving while Black, filling up prisons, and being killed senselessly by cops was a Black man problem – then we are getting a real rude awakening that IT AINT SO! It’s a Black woman problem and it seems to be growing.

In fact, police brutality cuts across racial lines and genders. So if White people are catching it, what do you think that means for you as a minority woman in a sexist AND racist society where your community and men do NOTHING to protect and fight for your honor?

Black women have spent so much time and energy fighting for the Black man in terms of police brutality, that we seemed to have missed that the rates in which we are equally brutalized and killed is not too far off from BM’s!

What else is growing? – the number of BW being sent to prison, the number of BW killed in prison and the number of BW said to have committed “SUICIDE” while in police prison custody.

SUICIDE IS THE POLICE FORCES “GO TO” WHEN THEY MURDER AN INMATE”

Yall better recognize!

These cops aint of the Andy Griffith Opie era!

First off, the suicide rates for BW in this country are thee LOWEST of all groups! So low that the Army wanted to do a damn study on AA female culture where they can identify why BW are the least likely to commit suicide unlike so many other service members – I.e. WHITE MALES. They wanted to use the low suicide rates and finding of AA service women as a foundation to helping other servicemen and women of other races in decreasing their suicide rates.

So for me or anyone to believe a BW would hang herself in a prison cell is very unlikely. BW just hardly ever commit suicide (at least DIRECTLY but that’s another post for another day) and the stats and studies show this.

But that hasn’t stopped many police entities from CLAIMING this is a form of death of BW who have died in prison cells.

Sandra Bland aint the only BW who has died in prison with the “suicide” as cause of death. A young 22 year old BW in Alabama was recently arrested for stealing a cell phone and died 1 hour later by “suicide” (hanging) while in jail. You just prolly didn’t hear about it. These cops are doing any and everything to vulnerable BW while in their Devils den and playground.

They have taken their LYNCHNGS inside their devils den where they can protect each other from being held accountable.

Yall better recognize!

Once you are behind those bars you are in the DEVILS PLAYGROUND LADIES! He dwells there. And it’s the devils playground because they can pretty much do ANYTHING to you including MURDER and BEAT you and rape you , with having to answer to NO ONE because the system is corrupt and set up to protect the police unions and police officers from any wrongdoing.

That is because if they did the right thing every time, there could be a case for why our tax dollars should no longer go to the city and state for employing officers and their unions would be dissolved. So they have to SAVE FACE by all costs even if its transparent they are as crooked as a witch’s index finger.

Here’s a tid bit. Police depts.. with crooked cops always use the suicide “hanging” as a “go to” and cover-up for murdering inmates regardless of race. I’m not saying inmates don’t hang themselves on their own, but I’m sorry no BW who was arrested for something stupid and in a holding cell is going to hang herself.

I’ll tell you what is happening. These SEXIST & RACIST cops with very little tolerance for mouthy BW are raping and beating these “mouthy BW” to the point then they have to kill them to keep them from talking – and then they fall on the “suicide by hanging” as the “REASON”.

The police system and entity in this country is THOROUGHLY CORRUPT and its purpose and foundation is to protect cops by ALL COSTS. The police entitity in this country is no longer here to protect and serve the citizens. It’s here to PROTECT and SERVE the best interests of the POLICE OFFICERS   – yes event he CROOKED MURDEROUS psycho police officers they employ.

So basically many people have and are killed in police custody and prisons and the SYSTEM and the entity covers it up. It’s corrupt from top to bottom. And guess who the easiest prey is? Blacks, Black women and Poor non-Blacks with no resources.

OPEN YOUR EYES AND CLOSE YOUR MOUTHS!

Here is another not so shocking FACT – A LOT OF RACIST WHITE MEN enter the police force so that they can harass, maim, beat and kill Black(s) and never be held accountable.

And here is the another FACT – THERE IS NO CALVARY WAITING in the wings to come to the defense or rescue of Black women. That means, BM are not going to ride or die for YOU, they are not going to MARCH on your behalf for answers, They are not going to organize and do what it takes to protect you as a BW.

BW are ALONE! And that means VULNERABLE.

So that means for those of us who acknowledge this REALITY and are not still living in LA LA LAND believing we have a community and men to fight and protect us, is that we have to always be in STRATEGY MODE to protect ourselves from being easy prey for predators – this includes LAW ENFORCEMENT.

Right now, you have predatory racist and SEXIST cops with chips on their shoulders and badges to protect them behind all their dirty deeds – even MURDER.

SANDRA BLAND – A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR SISTERS DEALING WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT TODAY

I’m going to state the OBVIOUS before I go into detail about why this sister could have used strategy to avoid being MURDERED.

  • Sandra Bland was pulled over for a bullshit reason. PERIOD.
  • The cop immediately had a chip on his shoulder when he saw who he pulled over
  • The officer had NO REASON TO ARRESST or verbally harass Sandra.
  • Sandra Bland should have never been asked to get out of her car.
  • Sandra Bland had a right to smoke while in her car.
  • Being argumentative and combative and questioning a cop is NOT A CRIME
  • Sandra Bland should have never been physically handled the way she was by the arresting cop
  • Sandra Bland WAS KILLED IN PRISON.

Ok so those are my views on the issue. Sandra Bland should have never experienced any of this.

RIGHT AND WRONG DO NOT ALWAYS APPLY WHEN DEALING WITH CRAZIES

Here is the gray area that BW seem to not understand. In this world we live in today, RIGHT and WRONG aint always going to protect you or apply when you are dealing with crazies!

It doesn’t matter that the cop was WRONG from jump streeet. It doesn’t matter that it’s YOUR right to mouth off to a police officer. We are not dealing with NORMAL COPS today! We are dealing with cops who understand they can pretty much get away with MURDER and have the force and law behind them. BW don’t have that kind of protection and force backing us. So when you are in a situation to simply make your life as less stressful as possible DO IT!

I was pulled over for some bullshit reason not too long ago. Was I irritated? Hell yes. But I kept my mouth shut and said as little to the officer as possible. Every time I have done this, I was let off. But I know these officers are looking for BW who run their mouths and become combative as an EXCUSE to escalate their power and authority. They already have us PEGGED.

I aint falling victim to their game and no smart BW should either. Deal with their rudeness and shitty reasons for pulling you over, and then LATER make a complaint. That’s the smart thing to do these days. Not mouthing off or becoming physically combative no matter HOW WRONG they are for putting you in that situation.

A strategic thinking and acting BW would understand that there is a climate of psycho cops with a corrupt law backing them today who are racists and looking for any reason to harass, arrest, beat and physically harm and murder a Black – that INCLIDES BLACK WOMEN.

Knowing this, it is your job to use common sense when understanding how corrupt and vile and SEXIST the police force and its entity is these days.

Sandra Bland was not immune to police brutality because she talked greatly about it on her Facebook page. Ironically, she ended up being the very victim of such even being aware of the very hostile climate against Blacks today with law enforcement.

Her knowledge of such should have kept her ALIVE.

When you view the video, what we clearly see is an officer who was definitely looking for some sort of escalation – and she gave it to him!

She was about to be sent on her way with a warning. Instead of holding her tongue and recognizing the fact he even stopped her for that bullshit reason was a CLUE that he was looking to escalate. The reason he kept asking her questions was because he knew she was irritated and was also looking to escalate. She fell into his trap.

At the moment he asks her “you seem irritated, what’s wrong” and to put out her ciggie, RIGHT and WRONG does not apply, she should have just done it, got the warning and left and then handled it whichever way she saw fit afterwards by filing a formal complaint. He was giving her a warning and that should have been enough to just avoid any further confrontation whether or not he started it.

Mouthing off to an already on edge cop looking for you to escalate and thus giving him a reason to flex his authority is NOT SMART on a BW’s part. A BW who is already knowing about how the police work in this country towards Blacks in general.

There is a reason I stressed in my last post on strategy on why it’s important to avoid any kinds of confrontations or any occurrences with the law as a BW. You cannot always control being pulled over for bullshit reasons other than being Black. But how that call goes after being pulled over will very much depend on how you handle the situation whether the cop is being a complete out of line ASSHOLE.

A lot of times not even giving in to their obvious attempts to escalate will get you off. They pull Blacks over because they EXPECT confrontation and non-cooperation. Its it right? HELL NO! But as a BW you aint got that much clout in this country to put yourself is deadly situations with law enforcement. And god forbid something happens to you while in their custody 9/10 it’s going to be HELLA HARD to prove there was foul play!

THE SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO HUNT YOU AS PREY FOR $$$ AND ABUSE

This system first of all has been set up AGAINST Black women. Black women occupy over 49% of prisons in most populated states (I know for New York and California this is about true). The problem is BW make up in these places relativity less than 6%. Yet we fill up the prisons more than half.

So that tells me that we are a TARGET for the prison system and law enforcement. We are the easy targets to fill up prisons and jails and we bring money to the SYSTEM every time one of us is locked up.

BW should be the main group out there informing our young girls and women of this reality. Instead, we are too busy complaining about the BLACK MAN being wrongfully hunted for filling up prisons. All the talk and fighting for BM calling them endangered species and how THEY are victims of corrupt justice system, seemed to have gone over the heads of these sister soldiers that BW ARE IN THE SAME DAMN BOAT! We are the race of women who fill up most of the prisons!

Instead of educating young Black girls in vulnerable areas on WHY we are often picked by law enforcement and HOW to avoid it, we are so busy with our heads up the BM’s asses and now we are getting a rude awakening that we are actually JUST AS IF NOT WORSE OFF as BM are! BM have a community behind them – BW don’t!

Next. What happens inside of prison to BW should also be a concern to African American women AND WHY WE SHOUL DBE DOING EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER TO AVOID GOING IN.

I just read a piece from a White lady who literally wrote about her experience in prison compared to her Black female counterparts. She was going to an ivy league school and had become hooked on Heroine. She ended up getting arrested for possession and serving 2 years in prison. This White lady OUTLINED in detail how African American women are treated and abused and often cited to spend more time in solitary confinement than Non-Black women in the system for the same injsutices.

How BW are upheld to different standards and are often harassed about things by the prison supervisors and guards that White and Non-Black women are given passes for. This was written from her OWN EXPERIENCE as a privileged WW who ended up in prison for 2 years and realized how her White skin afforded her so much privilege in sentencing and getting out. After she served her two years in prison she was later accepted BACK into Cornell University (they knew of her arrest) and graduated – she said this was done with so much ease.

Here is the link – please read this.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/01/21/heroin-addiction-sent-me-to-prison-white-privilege-got-me-out-and-to-the-ivy-league/

Sisters, you are going to learn the hard way in these times if you do not have some STRATEGY to stay alive and thrive!

I’m telling you like I would tell my OWN DAUGHTER who I would love.

There are hardly any SECOND CHANCES for us. There was no second chance for Sandra once she ended up in the Devils den and at their mercy. She had ONE chance to get away, and because she couldn’t hold her tongue against an already racist and on edge cop, it cost her, her life. IT’S NOT WORTH IT.

I can guarantee, the mouthing off continued while in the jail and these sexist and racist officers were going to teach her a lesson – and they staged her suicide, but we all know they killed her.

This is the FOURTH person to “die by suicide” in that prison. If White men aren’t safe from corrupt cops, your Black behind doesn’t even stand a chance!

BE STARTEGIC in every aspect of your life BW – it could be the difference between LIFE and DEATH, EXISTING & THRIVING!

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52 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Neecy
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 21:43:51

    If anyone even thinks of coming here and accusing me of victim blaming, you can save your keystrokes and don’t bother. This is a matter of life and death for BW today and I’m going to say when NO ONE ELSE besides other AWARE BW would tell you.

    We can keep our heads in the sand or LA LA LAND if we choose, but that aint going to keep us ALIVE and thriving when all is said and done/

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  2. Neecy
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 22:05:30

    Also what I believed happened was after she was slammed into the ground from the original arrest, she was screaming that she had epilepsy, that she couldn’t feel her arms and could not hear (This was on the video recording that the bystander took of them restraining her) was that she possibly died from tat, and they tried to cover it up as her killing herself.

    Her family ordered an independent autopsy so hopefully the real cause of death with be revealed.

    BTW the officer on the bystander video with their knees in her back was a BLACK WOMAN if you look at the dash cam.

    Here is the good news. This story made national headlines. The FBI is involved and a petition on change.org has over 150K signatures imploring the justice dept. to do a separate investigation.

    But BW cannot depend on these national headlines all the time. That young woman in Alabama who was found hanging in her cell just ONE HOUR after being arrested (for stealing a cell phone) barely got coverage. Which means her killers are most likely never going to be charged.

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  3. Neecy
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 22:25:21

    Also, if this aint a wake up call that BW better stop caping for BM and start addressing our issues, more BW will be found “hanging in their cells” while the corrupt police officers get off. And better believe the Black male officers will hardly ever risk their jobs and lives defending or speaking out against their police comrades.

    BM don’t work that way – they see little value in their women and we all know deep down they are going to look out for their own best interests first. If that means keeping the peace with their crooked comrades they will do it.

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  4. Silverroxen
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 07:37:21

    Neecy have you seen one of the recent posts on BBW? It was a poetry video done by two young black women in college discussing how they are treated by the BM there. I am pretty sure with the recent news of these two black women being killed (I have heard of the cell phone situation from one of the BW Facebook pages) and this poetry video (which is on Youtube btw and has a lot of BW agreeing and speaking of the ills they also face in the comments) a good amount of BW are going to get it (hopefully).

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    • Neecy
      Jul 22, 2015 @ 20:05:50

      I appreciate the fact that more BW are coming to terms with the reality of BM not appreciating them – but what I get from those declarations are more of begging BM to *finally* see them and stop ignoring them and their beauty. Which as we all know, men never desire women who have to beg them to *see* them and love them.

      BW need to stop the talking, poetry and public cries for Black male attention and affection – its never gonna happen. And its male nature (or human nature) to not want those who seem desperate for your attention and love.

      I understand these young women were just pointing out the injustices. But come on – no Black woman or even girl needs to hear poetry for what she has been seeing with her eyes and hearing with her ears. Black women and girls ALREADY know how BM feel about them. Its just many don’ t openly say it because its not BC PC.

      BW need to stop waiting for others to tell them what they already know and begin making strategic steps to move away from men and people who do not appreciate them. All that poetry stuff is going to do, is make BM think they and realize they stay rent free inside so many Black women’s heads and minds.

      If BW those BW who truly deep down still cared about BM and wanting BM to want them were STRATEGIC, they would actually do the opposite and stop paying BM attention and move on with their lives. But BW just don’t have that strategy thing down and thus why we stay losing.

      JUST DO IT and stop wight he public decries and declarations about how BM don’t _________. BW are not dumb, they know this stuff and have been knowing it for decades.

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      • SilverRoxen
        Jul 23, 2015 @ 07:02:34

        I was actually contemplating on whether to watch the video or not because I pretty much already knew what it was going to be about. Then I was like why not? In the comments section of the article I saw that some wsre really affected by the article with tears. My reaction after watching that video qas lukewarm, I literally said “okay”. I felt bad at first, but then I was like wait, I don’t feel the same because I’ve known this for years (like since middle school) and I was never indoctrined to think that way about BM (and I guess not being interested/attracted to them might factor in). I felt bad about how other BW felt in regards to not feeling desireable to BM, when I first started to read BWE/Common sense blogs. Now I’m just like why do you want to be found desirable by a group of men who have on the whole have not done for BW what BW have done for then? I know the answer why, but its time to move on
        https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1027445920599931&id=421138457897350&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.1027445920599931

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        • Brenda55
          Jul 23, 2015 @ 08:33:48

          I am seeing something about this story that keeps bothering me. The focus on the arrest is one thing. That is one thing. I am still questioning why she was in that cell for three days. She called her family and got the response of “I’ll see what we can do.” Over $500? With her known history of depression and previous suicide attempts? I dunno. Something is not laying right with me with the family’s response to her call for help.

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          • SilverRoxen
            Jul 23, 2015 @ 08:51:58

            Oh, Brenda sorry I confused you. I was responding to Neecy about the poetry video. Yes when I saw that comment made by Shaylah, I found that disturbing. First of all $500 is a small bond and the fact that her family said we’ll see what we can do, seriously! It sounds as if her family didn’t really care and I am thinking were they even concerned about Sandra’s mental health, or did they just brush it off like a lot of black people do in regards to mental health or did they see her as a burden because they think she’s crazy. This right here shows how BW are not valued in the BC; I of course don’t know, I’m just speculating.

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            • Brenda55
              Jul 23, 2015 @ 09:19:12

              OOOOPs. My bad. But on the matter of her family’s response to her call for help and their now saying that they saw no signs of depression. It is like that for black women isn’t it? Black women live in some of the most dysfunctional communities and situations on the planet yet we can never be seen as being affected by it. To the BC we are too strong and to the WC we are too angry to ever be depressed.

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              • SilverRoxen
                Jul 23, 2015 @ 09:54:12

                “Black women live in some of the most dysfunctional communities and situations on the planet yet we can never be seen as being affected by it.” There’s just so many things wrong with this way of thinking. If black women didn’t develop depression,anxiety, or any other mental ills living in these places I would think there is something wrong with them. You know what Brenda that’s it! Black women are not believed to be able to have depression because we are often not seen as human. The superwoman trope in the BC makes black women seem not human. Whereas in the WC, they view black women one dimesionally and the thing about anger is that it can be turned inwards, but all of the focus is on the loud, angry black women (aka the Sapphire archetype). Truthfully, I see the anger that black women have being turned inwards moreso than outwards. This post probably explains this idea better http://femandbrown.blogspot.com/2014/08/being-angry-bw-is-understandable-but.html?m=1.

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                • Neecy
                  Jul 24, 2015 @ 14:24:04

                  I think people do see BW’s mental and emotional issues its just we do things differently than others. While on average we may not take our own lives in a direct way, we muddle through life doing all kinds of self destructive things and patterns which ultimately kill our mental and emotional selves slowly. This is what leads to depression which does often lead to suicide.

                  BW are depressed. But so are many other groups of people. No one has time to baby BW. Everyone has their own problems and are trying to save themselves. BW rarely if ever show any interest in saving ourselves and so the PERCEPTION is – WE DON’T CARE cause we can take on anything.

                  So while BW may not take a gun to their heads or hang themselves, we engage and are often in environments that are killing us slowly. Be it violent and abusive relationships that we stay in, taking on the emotional baggae of grown men and children on top of your own, feeling inadequate and hopeless, drugs, rape, etc.
                  Having OOW kids at high rates signals to me some serious emotional and mental issues. Especially for some of the poorest women in this nation. You cannot be working with a full deck bringing another human being to be a burden on you in this world when you can barely take care of yourself and you have no support from the father.

                  If people think BW are “superhuman” and “strong” its because WE PROUDLY PROCLAIMED THIS for decades. We engage in behaviors that say to the world we take PLEASURE and PRIDE in taking on things that are meant for men to take on, in fighting for everyone, in engaging in behaviors that most women wouldn’t.

                  So BW have to stop fingerprinting and start from within. What role did we happily play in making ourselves these “superwomen” hat everyone thinks we are??? No one ames BW mann the front lines for men, no one makes BW push out baby after baby from loser BM who they know hate them, no one makes BW ignore the injustices, murder, rape and abuse that happens in our communities.

                  The only way this problem will be fixed is when BW STOP participating in our own mental and emotional demise and start taking care of NUMERO UNO. It is not White people or anyone else’s responsibility to re-create and re-brand the imagery of BW as vulnerable and such. IT IS US who has to re-correct the image we so proudly acknowledged and promoted.

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                  • SilverRoxen
                    Jul 24, 2015 @ 19:40:27

                    Neecy I was somewhat confused by your comment. I was not fingerpointing, but answering those two parts of Brenda’s comment about the BC and WC. In regards to the SBW trope I said that it is encouraged in the BC. I also said that black women turn their emotions inwardly, but I did not expand on how that manifests. Ok now I see what you mean in reagrds to the strong black woman trope, I guess I didn’t get it since I personally despise that stereotype and I really don’t understand why the women in the generations before me promoted it to their own detriment. I do not mean to offend, but I think I should have been more detailed in my response.

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                    • Neecy
                      Jul 24, 2015 @ 19:42:50

                      OH NO NO NO. I wasn’t talking DIRECTLY to you! I was agreeing with everything and was just venting in general about how BW believe that people are not supposed to take them at face value based on our actions. LOL Sorry for confusion. I completely agree with what you said.

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          • reem11
            Jul 23, 2015 @ 10:23:30

            First, a person who has a mental illness has to want help. The other is to know you have a mental health problem. Sometimes a person is too busy, being busy to help themselves. Aslo these people do other unhealthy things to cope, like turning to alcohol, smoking, etc. Do we know that her family members did not encourage Sandra Bland to seek mental health attention? She just got a job here in Texas I do believe as well. It is very possible that her loved ones may not have had the money even though it was $500.00 dollars. We just don’t know. As the old saying goes, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and under the wrong conditions.

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          • Neecy
            Jul 24, 2015 @ 14:12:42

            YES! I am starting to lean towards her just being so distraught emotionally not only over what happened to her and her being in jail for that dumb ass reason, but with her physical injuries, mental and emotional state and the fact that her family and friend (who said he was coming in an hour to bail her out and never showed up and as she kept calling him over the days it kept going to voicemail) she just couldn’t handle anymore and took her life.

            All this is said from an inmate who was sharing a cell with two other women next to Sandra and who spoke to Sandra through their cell windows. Not only that, the inmate said Sandra wasn’t causing a commotion or Ruckus (just crying) and that she possibly heard her and the other female inmates next to her laughing and being company to one another (while she was alone in a cell) and it was just all too much for her fragile emotional state.

            Its said either way, because it didn’t have to even get to this point. Bu her family met be feeling some kind of way in that they couldn’t even pull some resources together to help this sister out.

            SAD.

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  5. Brenda55
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 08:40:27

    Neecy, thank-you for this post and the common sense contained in it. This is not victim blaming. This is using this event as a teachable moment for black women and I applaud you for doing this.

    I have relatives who are patrol officers. The car stop is one of the most dangerous for all concerned. The best advice that has held me in good stead during my own car stops is to keep cool. There is a way to come out of this uncomfortable situation with minimal drama. I am directing people to the ACLU website in order for them to get the facts about what to do when you come in contact with law enforcement. There is a lot of “STREET” knowledge out there that is just plain wrong and people are getting hurt. True knowledge is power so ladies educate yourself and act like you know.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 22, 2015 @ 20:11:23

      Yes Brenda, I don’t think many BW are getting it! BW are still stuck on what is right and wrong. But there is a gray area with law enforcement and just because you may feel its a RIGHT to mouth off and be combative, we are recognizing that while its not against the law, many police officers are taking it upon themselves to make these women’s lives hell for doing just that.

      i mean rules and laws are one thing. But if I see a consistent pattern of crazy psycho cops (who are backed by a corrupt system and force) and they are most likely targeting those in my group and I see how they are consistently let off for doing all kinds of dirt against citizens, then my common sense tells me I better do as much as I can to avoid risking my sanity, health, life and well being arguing with a probably already on edge lunatic looking for a reason to escalate physical against me.

      Black people don’t think on a bigger level of getting them where it really hurts (organizing and making strides where it counts in their local and state offices where thee changes in police corruption can be handled). Instead we want to get back at them by mouthing off because “we have a right”.

      UHM no. That aint working too well for us.

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  6. Formavitae
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 08:43:14

    Neecy,

    This post is ON. POINT. AAW/G need to get a clue about how to AVOID unnecessary interaction with law enforcement.

    I will say that IMO, you DON’T have “the right” to “mouth off” to a police officer. I think this concept is leading to some of these problems. The Miranda warning states, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you in court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you,”

    You have ” the right” to “REMAIN SILENT”.

    I’ll be back later to discuss more thoughts, because I have to work. But, people need to stop acting like they don’t understand what police officers do. Police officers sit on the side of the road/highway, waiting for someone to pull over/ticket. It is within their legal realm of authority. Some days they’ll let people drive several miles above the speed limit and actually pass them by. Other days, it seems they’ll pull you over if you’re anything above 5 miles over. Every time I drive, I try to gauge whether it’s a “nit picky” day or a “let it slide” day.

    This officer was testing this woman’s willingness to comply with his authority. You don’t (usually) get arrested for a signaling infraction. But, you can have a higher level of punishment for “resisting arrest”, “disturbing the peace”, “being a public nuisance”, etc. I don’t know all the nuances, but if you want to challenge the limits of the law, you better understand them, and also understand that what applies in one state doesn’t necessarily apply in another.

    Many AAW/G need an overhaul in their thinking, communication styles, and behavior. The current system isn’t working for them. Furthermore, when she was talking, I felt like I was listening to a typical loser on the street. THAT doesn’t help.

    People also need to recognize cops work with many shady people on the regular. I met a guy who told me he decided to stop working as a cop because he could see himself turning into “one of the bad ones”, after he had been to/seen so many domestic violence situations. when dealing with a cop, you don’t want them to mentally put you into the same group as the destructive losers they come into contact with on a regular basis.

    This is a SAD STORY. But, I pretty much feel this lady is probably dead because she kept “runnin’ her mouth”, and they got tired of it and “shut her up”. I’m not justifying it, however I believe she would have had a dramatically different outcome, if she hadn’t fallen back on typical “street/hood” communication and behavior.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 22, 2015 @ 20:20:47

      Many AAW/G need an overhaul in their thinking, communication styles, and behavior.

      THIS ^^^

      BW don’t seem to understand that YES a racist is a racist and will not see your humanity no matter how you carry yourself. But BW’s image of being hardened, mouthy, angry, combative and fight ready is coming back to bite us in the ass. We are dealing with angry psycho cops who now know they have a corrupt system behind them to cover up their dirty deeds – and best believe these sexist PIGS are looking for people like mouthy and physically combative BW that they can toss around and beat and kill and get away with it.

      I’m just going to say it – people are TIRED of ANGRY BW. Unfortunatley, BW are now meeting our match in SEXIST lunatic racist cops who are very ready and willing to “put us in our place” and do so without any kind of consequence.

      This is not the decade of the past where people thought it was cute and funny when BW act like this. NOW its costing us because people are desensitized to our suffering because they see us as “SHE MALES” un-derserving of being treated and handled like women.

      But BW keep up this personification as if its something to be proud of – and its literally taking us out!

      I can understand Sandra’s anger, but her usage of words and how she carried herself in that video was cringe worthy.

      I believe Sandra would be aline today if she just let that shit go. Sometimes in life you just gotta let shit go no matter how angry and frustrated you are.

      These cops are not playing and they are desperate to flex their power of authority over non cooperative citizens – in the worse kinds of ways.

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    • Formavitae
      Jul 28, 2015 @ 21:12:55

      Ok. So, I came back to share some final thoughts. I’m honestly FATIGUED over all of these issues, to be frank. The first thing I wanted to tell AAW/G:

      CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY.

      So, I know getting pulled over by a cop, while driving and being ticketed can be a MAJOR PAIN. However, “it happens”, and the funds collected from ticketing are utilized for a variety of purposes. I found a simple website explaining these things. You should research how funds from tickets are used in your state. This site also includes advice on how to respond when you’re pulled over. I am going to copy and paste the page here and also include the link.

      What I would like AAW/G to do is consider whether traffic stops are the context in which you want to “TAKE A STAND”. Is it really worth it? Or, do the potential costs outweigh the potential benefits? That’s for each person to decide. It’s not worth it, to me, but THAT’S JUST ME.

      “Speeding Ticket Fines Explained
      February 22, 2012

      Learn more about the 4 factors that determine speeding ticket fines, and what the revenue collected by the state is used for.

      Court Fees

      Speeding ticket fines are determined by factors including the violation you committed, location, your driving record (any past citations) and when you pay the speeding ticket fine.

      Type of violation. The worse the offense was, the more you will end up paying for a ticket. If you are caught doing 40 in a 30 mile per hour zone, the ticket will be far less than going 85 in a 55 mile per hour zone
      Location. You need to watch out for special zones where speed ticket costs are increased. The most common areas are school zones and construction zones. There will normally be signs that tell you that fines in the area are increased. Fines are usually doubled for offenses in these zones
      Driving record. If you have any outstanding tickets, or a history of having tickets, you will likely have to pay more for a speeding ticket. If it is your first offense, they are more likely to be lenient, or to give a break on the fine when you go to fight the ticket
      Due date. Every ticket has a date that payment is due. Most towns offer at least a two-week window to pay, and some offer as long as a couple of months. If you pay the ticket past the due date, you will increase the amount of the ticket. Some towns offer a quick pay option where they will reduce the cost if you pay within a certain time frame, normally within 24 hours

      Where Does the Money Really Go?

      Knowing what happens with the money may (or may not) take the sting out of paying a speeding ticket fine. There are often no set rules for what occurs with the money obtained through speeding ticket fines. The use of the money varies according to the area in which the traffic violation was committed and where it was collected. Similarly, the money may not have a single purpose and can be allocated in a variety of different ways though collected by one authority.

      Road safety. The ever increasing speeding ticket cost is often justified by government and police authorities due to the money being used for safety reasons. Whether it is used to buy and install speed cameras and signs at dangerous spots or install speed reducing devices, there are a range of methods that can be used to make the road safer
      Funding. There are some circumstances in which police authorities are entitled to keep the money they collect from speeding ticket fines. This will often be in lieu of some of the funding they would normally get from the taxpayers. They usually have the right to spend this money as they wish, which will often be for the purpose of catching more speeders. This is why many drivers believe that the police have a quota when it comes to issuing tickets

      What to Do If You Get a Traffic Ticket

      You’re bound to break a traffic law at some point while operating your vehicle. If you do get a traffic ticket, the important thing is that you address the situation correctly. The way you handle it can be the difference between a black mark on your record and a relatively minor inconvenience. Here is a guide to dealing with a traffic ticket, start to finish.

      The Traffic Stop
      The first thing you should remember if you get pulled over is that you need to stay calm. Be polite and talk to the officer about the problem as if you were discussing any other issue. Remember that you are innocent until proven guilty, which means that you shouldn’t admit to any wrongdoing while you are talking to him or her. The classic question “Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a leading question. The police officer is asking you to admit that you have knowingly broken a traffic law. It’s best not to answer this question. Instead, simply tell him or her that you are not sure exactly why you’ve been stopped but that you’re sure they have a good reason for doing so. Most of the time, the officer has already made the decision about whether or not they are going to write you a ticket before they have even talked to you, so it’s best to just to be polite and not admit guilt.

      The Citation
      Generally once you receive a ticket, the officer is going to ask you to sign a copy of it and return it to him or her. Go ahead and sign it; you’re not admitting guilt by signing the ticket, you’re simply acknowledging that you were present when the citation was issued. The officer should offer you a clear and concise explanation of what you are being cited for. Once you’re on your way, you can look up the law you’re accused of violating.

      The Court Date
      Regardless of whether you feel you’re guilty of the citation or not, you’re much better off setting a court hearing to deal with the ticket than you are just paying the fine. By paying the fine, you’re not only admitting guilt of the violation, you’re going to have a violation on your driving record. This will have a negative effect on your insurance rates for an extended period of time. Instead, simply fill in the form on the back of the ticket and send it in.

      Typically you’ll have to choose between mitigation (admitting that the violation was committed, but there were extenuating circumstances involved) or contesting (saying that you didn’t commit the infraction). Check the “contested” box on the ticket and send it in. If you choose to change to a mitigation hearing later, you will be able to do that.”

      Source:

      http://www.carsdirect.com/dmv/speeding-ticket-fines-where-does-the-money-really-go

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    • Formavitae
      Jul 28, 2015 @ 21:34:34

      The other thing I wanted to say is that there is a place for “authority”, and, in general, “authority” should be respected.

      I don’t know. But, it seems like AAs “go off the deep end” about certain things. AAs don’t seem to be able to maintain balance, when pursuing certain things. Or, they don’t seem to be able to distinguish what works well for them and what does not.

      Traditionally, AAs were raised to respect their elders and authority. They also seemed to have a stronger belief in “discipline”. It seems in their efforts to adopt a more “permissive” stance to parenting, lifestyle, and guidance, used by many white Americans (WAs), they’ve raised a dysfunctional group of people who don’t know how to successfully function within society AT ALL. I’m not applying a blanket to ALL AAs. I’m just saying that it seems there is no respect for authority, in general. And, it seems, some AAs take the attitude/disposition that if an authority figure (whether police officer, teacher, or elder) approaches them, (that) that person should just “get the f*ck out of their face–unless they called for them”.

      THAT’S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS.

      When you act like that, particularly when you are in a lesser privileged class in society, you are going to end up “ostracized” with “a cracked head”. I’m not going to keep expounding upon this, because people should be able to “get it”. But, when you see teachers leaving positions, cops beating down mouthy citizens, parents being assaulted/murdered by their own children, YOU SHOULD HAVE “A CLUE”.

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  7. Shaylah
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 08:52:32

    I remember in the news conference that when Sandra Bland called her sister for bail money her sister told her we can see what we can do. Now they couldn’t come up with bail money of $500.00 or something like that but now you have to come up with money to bury her, that is very telling to black women that all the caping and every thing else you have done for the black community and they literally let you die in jail, that my friend is a wake up call like no other. I often wonder if that had been a black man, what preacher and how long will it take for the go fund me account would have been up and running? What is also telling where is Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton? I’ll wait or I will not wait because it was Sandra Bland and not Cedric Bland. I remember watching the show scared straight and beyond and it was a correction officer manhandled a teenage black girl. They were letting them know that if they keep on this negative road , this is where they will end up. But these teens come from teen mothers or households where there is no discipline. So these shows do not get to the root of the problem of the women are poor so nothing from nothing leave nothing. Generations of poverty is being passed on because of the lack of skills, not just education because you can have educated fools. We know of women who have phd’s and the men they are with couldn’t buy a d if their life depended on it.
    Let’s think about how the family couldn’t come up with 500.00 dollars. That is scary because I am quite sure they have given that amount and more to the pimps I mean pastors and yet they couldn’t pool their resources together. You now have money for the investigation but you couldn’t take a trip to get her out of that situation? Also don’t fall for those videos showing cops doing the nae nae and playing football. That is get comfortable and not see them as a threat. Just remember THEY ARE LICENSE TO KILL AND HAVE A SYSTEM THAT PROTECT THEM!!

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    • Neecy
      Jul 22, 2015 @ 20:24:58

      @ SHAYLA,

      THAT too crossed my mind! How hard was it to come up with $500 to get their crying and physically hurt sister out of that place?

      Especially after she spoke with her sister and told her that she believed her arm was broken. I mean I would have been doing everything in my power to get her ass out of there especially after her telling me that!

      That is another thing that looks pretty darn bad.

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    • reem11
      Jul 23, 2015 @ 10:08:29

      Neecy one other thing since you are very talented at writing these articles, and have this blog, perhaps you could reach out to other BF through youtube, Facebook (especially to the younger BF). Not every BF know you have a blog.

      Back in the late 60″s I was taught by my father as he taught my older brothers how to deal with racist police officers (nothings new here). Back then our fathers had our backs, because they were present in our lives.

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      • Neecy
        Jul 24, 2015 @ 14:28:35

        @ REEM

        Yes i know I am behind on the social media aspect and its funny you mentioned this because I was saying to myself not too long ago that its time I expand from the blog and onto social media.

        Also, that is part of the problem too. BW are not being raised in homes these days with solid family structures and Black parents with common sense. They are instead being raised by overstressed single mothers and absent fathers who do not teach them these common sense tactics. They feed BW the victim trope and BW go into the world angry and ill-equipped to handle stressful situations in ways that will keep them from suffering or being targeted.

        While I nevr remember my parents having discussions with me about how to interact with police and such, we have to start using COMMON SENSE and opening our eyes to the GRAY AREAS. Because its those GRAY AREAS where we are being had.

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        • reem11
          Jul 25, 2015 @ 09:24:32

          Its time Neecy, a women with wisdom. I know you (like other bloggers) can’t do it all. But know there are people like myself who are doing their part as well. Not to boast but I donate new school uniforms to a elementary school for about 16 poor girls and boys ages 4-12 years. I try to give back (every school year is my goal) to help these single moms. I know most of these children’s mothers have their hands full. Its so heart breaken to see children without guidance like I had/yourself back in the day. I had Jesus coming up some of these children only have dysfunction. 🙂

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    • Formavitae
      Jul 28, 2015 @ 21:42:17

      Yes. This is sad. I wonder if they would have come up with the money for some “bum *ss negro”.

      I’m not surprised, however. I once had a lady from another state show up at my doorstep unannounced. She wanted to relocate to start her life over. Problem was, she didn’t have any money. I put her in a motel for about a week and tried to help her find work. When she couldn’t find any, we had her contact her family about her circumstance. Her sister said she was going to wire some money to her, so that she could get back home. Don’t you know, THAT MONEY NEVER CAME. Her sister never even called back to say she couldn’t/didn’t send the money. At the end of the day, I and my mother gave her funds (and some EXTRA funds) to get back home.

      “FAMILY”.

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  8. Formavitae
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 08:56:59

    Just to be clear, wh I said “typical loser” I was referring to those street thugs who are always getting into trouble, selling drugs, etc.

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  9. Nicole Creole
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 09:27:43

    Would you do a post on how we need to play dumb?

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    • Neecy
      Jul 22, 2015 @ 20:33:27

      Hi Nicole,

      I’ve never played dumb, I just remain cool and level headed. But I also have done something like “what did I do!” in a pleasant and joking matter. And that will often cause them to put their guard down and joke back with you and say “ooh you know what you did”.

      Most of the time though if you remain pleasant, they will usually let you off with a warning or decrease the original citation to a lower and less expense charge.

      Like the last time I got pulled over for that stupid reason, I was saying to myself “IS HE FKN SERIOUS?” as he was telling me why he pulled me over. But because I was pleasant, he just said “ok so just be careful because it could cause an accident if people are not aware”. I was like M’kay! And that was it.

      I am not saying you have to go full on Mary Poppins – sometimes you are justifiably irritated. In those cases just don’t argue or say anything and just give them what they request, take the ticket and go on abut your business.

      Its really simple.

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  10. Silverroxen
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 10:18:12

    I just watched the video and Formavitae’s comment (“Many AAW/G need an overhaul in their thinking, communication styles, and behavior. The current system isn’t working for them. Furthermore, when she was talking, I felt like I was listening to a typical loser on the street. THAT doesn’t help.”), made me immediately think of the post that Khadija did after what happened in McKinney, Texas. This point, and the others was actually made by Formavitae, came to mind “5. The image put out by AAs of black women/girls being “tough”, “loud-mouthed”, “non-feminine”, “azz-kickers” IS NOT helping them secure any protections, courtesies, or considerations in society. Furthermore, online videos of girls jumping/attacking people, cursing out strangers, and joining black boys in attacking innocents is doing EXTREME DAMAGE to the concept of black females as having “vulnerability”. The admin of the Facebook page for Black Women Moving On even made the same point. https://www.facebook.com/blackwomenmovingon/posts/611401075629716
    This is no mere coincidence and it is truly sad that this happened to this woman and that the stereotypes of black women are being used against these victims to justify what happened to them.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 22, 2015 @ 20:42:13

      SILVERROXXEN,

      I completely AGREE with what she said and with what other AWARE BW like Khadija and others have been saying and telling BW for far too long.

      This stuff is not cute! Its serious and seriously affecting our lives at this point.

      BW need to have a come to Jesus with how we continue to promote our BRAND of womanhood. Because our current BRAND is doing us in. The only BW who will survive through this are the ones who understand how powerful feminine energy is – especially in a patriarchal racist and sexist society.

      Feminine energy is not WEAKNESS or playing up to sexism. Feminine energy is what produces those very things Halima posted a white back “protections, courtesies, considerations”.

      Listening to these feminist WW will get a BW killed. You see WW still have a community and men who still fight for them. Also these feminist WW know how to use their feminine energy when they want something from powerful men. Too many BW align their lives with the lives of WW who think acting bad-ass is progressive. Well maybe for them – but BW are on a different playing field and need to act accordingly to keep ourselves safe and thriving.

      I can’t tell you how much people respond well to good feminine energy. I carry it with me through work all day and I honestly can see a difference in how people treat you.

      A BW with feminine energy is a DIAMOND in the ROUGH and gets treated as such because so many of our sisters LACK IT. THE BC doesn’t and has never encouraged feminine energy from its women because that means we will not be on the font lines fighting and caping for MEN.

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  11. reem11
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 09:41:15

    As a human being first, and second as a BW who loves being feminine this is the very reason why Jesus has always been my body guard, my Savior. Human beings are fallible.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 24, 2015 @ 14:31:15

      AMEN!

      I hold no real fears for my life because of my faith that God has and will always take care of me. But God also expects me to use my common sense he gave me and to be aware of what is going on as to avoid getting myself in situations.

      This is something we BW have to do to survive.

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      • reem11
        Jul 25, 2015 @ 08:59:47

        God gave us the mind to have common sense, its up to us to use it. What would Jesus have done in situations like Sandra Blands? He has provided me/you (believers) with the mindset he has. I try to think like him (common sense,wisdom), though not always easy. The bible has all I need to get through this lifes journey. All this to say, Jesus is my Savior and body guard. Thanks Neecy for a wonderful article.

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  12. Cynthia
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 11:40:36

    Hi Neecy, first of all great post!
    I agree with everything in the article. When I first heard about the arrest and ultimate death of this young woman all I could think of was advice my dad gave me when I was a little girl. SHUT UP OR YOU MAY BE DEAD RIGHT….meaning, you may be right but you’ll be dead.
    I was pulled over by a state trooper in Louisiana a few years, doing 80 mph passing another car. I pleaded with him (haven’t had a ticket in over 20 years) and all I got was a “nice sunglasses” and a $200 ticket. My point is why clown with someone who has a gun and a license to kill????

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    • Cynthia
      Jul 23, 2015 @ 11:42:55

      Correction: a few years ago,

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    • Neecy
      Jul 24, 2015 @ 14:33:36

      @ CYNTHIA

      YES! It seems Black parents of the past (where Black fathers were present in their children’s lives) knew the deal and understood the “GRAY AREAS” outside of right and wrong.

      I see so many BW talking about how its their RIGHT to do this and that. And they are correct it is their right to do a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean that exercising those “rights” without understanding the whole of the situation doesn’t mean it comes without consequences.

      And I am not just talking about this Sandra case but in all areas of BW’s lives.

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  13. Shaylah
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 18:35:49

    Black women think about this. if you were ever in a situation where you were in jail
    who could you call to bail you out?

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  14. Shaylah
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 18:44:16

    I thought about this and I realize I HAVE NO ONE TO GO TO. That means that I will position myself accordingly.
    @Neecy,
    you did a post I can’t remember regarding how black women should not drive at night or limit it if you can because some people have night jobs. But I see now her mother has surfaced. I am thinking where were these people at? For the family to let her sit anytime in jail just let me know that black women who families they sacrifice for and give money to every pay period can just let you die means that we have to have a game plan in place.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 24, 2015 @ 14:07:19

      http://abcnews.go.com/US/sandra-bland-distraught-jail-fellow-inmate/story?id=32662328

      YEP and now its come out that the person she had moved in with (a male) she called numerous times after he told her he was coming (within an hour) and it was days later and he never showed and every time she called the phone kept going to voicemail. IOW’s he didn’t want to be bothered in helping her get out so he didn’t answer.

      Now the bastard is saying he didn’t get her messages or voicemails until DAYS LATER (after she was pronounced dead) and how its “haunting him). NEGROE PLEASE! Why would another inmate who Sandra spoke with say in detail how Sandra kept saying her friend was supposed to come in an hour to bail her out, and was distraught as the days passed and he never showed up and she kept getting the voice mail?

      EXACTLY what you said. This is why BW need to take inventory of their lives and who is in them and if these people can be counted on to help you out in a time of need. If the answer is “NO” or you are not sure, then as you said, you need to be very careful about the situations you end up in because you will not have anyone to “BAIL YOU OUT” in any situation.

      I am starting to believe after hearing from the other inmate who Sandra had contact with that she was so sad, defeated and upset that the people she depended on didn’t come to her rescue after an already stressful situation (on top of being there for a dumb reason and possibly being physically in pain from the struggle with the officer) that she just couldn’t take anymore and ended her life.

      The police dept. is still responsible because they were not checking on her regularly and because she died in their custody.

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  15. Shaylah
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 18:55:05

    Black women need to take a church fast because we give to
    churches
    pimp I mean preachers
    mother
    father
    sister
    brother
    cousins
    strangers
    homeless
    hair salons
    koreans to get our manis and pedis
    anybody with a sob story or who fix their lips to say Jesus
    random black men
    dogs
    cats
    buy spiritual books on 2000 ways to get the victory
    how to cast down strongholds
    how to get a husband
    how to be a virtual woman of God
    we give, give , give,give, and give and then when our backs are up against the wall
    anything bad happens to us they will say we had it coming.
    There is no one giving any seminars or webinars on how to conduct yourself in the face of law enforcement to prevent things like this for happening again or at the very least to arm yourself with the information to live another day to legally and properly bring this problem to the forefront on how the bad seeds of law enforcement can get the punishment that is needed to know that because you have power doesn’t give you the right to abuse it.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 24, 2015 @ 13:59:54

      So read this from an inmate that was adjacent to Sandra’s cell and spoke to her while she was locked up.

      Basically her “male friend” who she kept calling told her he would come and bail her out and never showed up. Then I saw a report how he said he didn’t see her calls or voicemails until days later AFTER her death. Yet the inmate who Sandra ws crying to said she was upset because her friend told her he would be there and never showed up.

      True to what you have been saying. When BW are in need who is there to help us out.

      I’m starting to believe that with everything that happened to her physically an the fax her family basically IGNORED HER, she was overly distraught and said “efF it” and *POSSIBY* killed herself.

      I’m leaning more to this because the inmate said she was not causing any ruckus or commotion in the jail and she was basically quiet. Also the other inmate states she was in a cell with two other women and they were laughing and keeping each other company, while Sandra was alone by herself and most likely heard – which could have also made her very upset.

      http://news.yahoo.com/sandra-bland-distraught-jail-says-fellow-inmate-160504075–abc-news-topstories.html

      “She said she kept on trying to call this one person that she moved in [with] here because she said she was from Chicago and … she was like, ‘It’s just not answering. It’s going straight to voicemail and I don’t know why, I don’t know why. He said he’d be here in an hour and its days later,’” Pyle said.

      So she had called numerous people to help her bail out and became more and more distraught as the days passed and they didn’t bail her out. Quite possible she was distraught enough to take her life. But at the end of the day that police dept. is still responsible for her death whether she killed herself or they did.

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  16. SilverRoxen
    Jul 24, 2015 @ 20:30:08

    Sorry Neecy :P. I’m just used to people not understanding what I say, so I took it personally. No harm done :).

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  17. Mimi
    Jul 25, 2015 @ 18:34:32

    Excellent post. Applause, applause!

    I am not so much angry with her parents and her BM friend as I am with the so-called “justice” community/protest alignment. Knowing that this woman was an activist, was there no network to help activists when they are thrown in jail? We as black women need to assess not only the cause, but its organizational structure. We will bear the brunt of any lapses in security and safety nets. As for $500, that is a lot of money if you don’t have it; but, as AA women, we always better have that so we can bail ourselves out. F*ck the pimp preachers, the annual boat rides for the frats/sororities, and other BS that we are always asked to come out of pocket for. You goin’ on a trip, you better at least have $1K on your debit card to bail yourself out. We always have to be prepared because like Sandra Bland’s bullsh*t BM “friend”, emergencies are not answered by answering machines.

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  18. neurochick
    Jul 27, 2015 @ 08:05:35

    Neecy, I am glad you have addressed this. I am going to write some politically incorrect stuff, but it might save someone’s life. Years ago, when I was in college, there was a military academy nearby. Every Sunday, the state police would lay in wait for the cadets to speed by in their sports cars, because they wanted to pull them over for speeding; most of the guys drove, what they call now, muscle cars and they would be going fast; sometimes the cops couldn’t catch them and it would turn into an episode of Dukes of Hazzard. . Now I was in college over 30 years ago and the cops would stop cadets of all races, but they targeted cadets. I remember how they said it was unfair, and wrong, but everybody knew it went on, probably still goes on today.

    I watched the video. The cop was trying to bait her, he was trying to get her to lose it, it was classic, like when two people get in a fight and one person wants the other to hit them so they can call the cops and get that person arrested.

    The reason why the cop asked her to put out the cigarette was because he might have believed she was impaired and cigarettes can mask the smell of alcohol or pot. When she didn’t put out the cigarette, he asked her to get out of the car, possibly to do a sobriety test. But the angrier she got, the angrier he got, the angrier he got, the angrier she got and it went from 0 to 60.

    What I saw were two people who had prejudged each other before the first words were spoken. I know how that goes, people have done that to me, but you know what? I do the same thing, most humans do. You look at someone and make a judgement, should I cross the street? Should I get in an elevator with that person? We prejudge each other based on our (usually) limited knowledge of the other person. He judged her because she was a black woman and she judged him because he was a white cop.

    Now, as far as suicide. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know if she was murdered, or if something happened to her in jail or maybe, if she was suffering from mental illness, she might have had an anxiety attack, perhaps she was afraid that, because of the arrest, she would lose her job.

    A few years ago, there was a case of the niece of a local NYC politician (a white woman) who was detained at a US airport and died in police custody. It turned out the woman suffered from mental illness and the airport security had zero training when it came to mentally ill people. What one person can laugh off, another person will be floored, by the exact same thing.

    There’s an old saying, “When someone’s car break’s down they call AAA, but when an alcoholic/addict/mentally ill person’s car breaks down, they call suicide prevention.” The point being is that people react differently to stimuli.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 27, 2015 @ 22:49:02

      Yes the cop was baiting her and she immediately fell into that trap because of her already frustrations with police brutality.

      Its a sad situation all around. However, the smart BW will know that its not worth it to get into it with an officer on an ego trip and who is racist.

      Better to file a complaint afterwards.

      I hope they do get to the bottom of what happened to her. But at the end of the day, this is a situation that could be avoided for another BW in the future by simply holding your tongue and taking a warning.

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  19. neurochick
    Jul 27, 2015 @ 08:12:43

    One more thing, when I was younger, some 20 + years ago, I used to ride on my now ex boyfriend’s motorcycle (a white guy). He was ALWAYS stopped by the cops because they assumed if you were on a bike, you were: Hell’s Angels/on drugs/drug dealer/just a bad person in general. So cops were constantly stopping us and he told me what to do, take off your helmet and let the cops look into your eyes so they could tell that you’re sober. And the cops would always do that and say stuff like, “you guys been drinking, right?” And we’d be like, “Nope, we don’t drink or do drugs,” which would confuse some of them, while others would smile and say, “Oh, Bill W, huh?” (founder of AA).

    The point is that those cops make assumptions about who and what you are, just by looking at you, and when you prove them wrong, they’re actually shocked.

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    • Neecy
      Jul 27, 2015 @ 22:50:06

      Yep people already have BW pegged as being combative and ready to “go off” os someone. When we don’t fall into that trap we always come out ahead. Those that do, well, they don’t fare very well.

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  20. Nichelle
    Jul 28, 2015 @ 08:32:13

    I agree with the general position that Black women must acknowledge that they have no “natural” allies today. Once there is an acknowledgement of this painful reality, the next task is to make sure that they refuse to participate in “fights,” “protests,” “relationships” etc in which their interests are not front and center. This is true from a personal and political perspective.

    There are some women who take on the strong black woman mantle and there some who do not. It is a part of the black female socialization. I am more concerned with the negative consequences that the internalization of the mantle causes for black women than I am about non-black people’s and men’s perception of black women. Black women have to acknowledge that being strong is simply one part of our identity. Anger and strength are not the only feelings or attributes that we can be passionate about. Is our strength driving us to put our needs front and center? Is our anger driving us to make better choices? Our foremothers, paid the price so that future generations of black women can be strong and smart.

    The biggest barrier that BBW faces is the inability to meet average black women were they are at. If you the average black woman gives up her strength and mouth what does she have to replace them? In this context giving up means losing one’s identity. What is the replacement model and is their an illustration or readily available model of a replacement identity.

    When we fail to question who the average black woman is in america and do not consider average in terms of age, education, geography location, number of children, etc. we run the being perceived as talking down or being out of touch with the average black woman.

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  21. stephaniegirl
    Aug 05, 2015 @ 17:52:58

    Reblogged this on Steph's Blog.

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  22. cediblog
    Mar 28, 2016 @ 05:48:47

    You know I was thinking $500 is not a lot of money, it is if you don’t have it. Sandra Bland like so many of us BW spend our money on non essentials, such as weaves, weed, etc, etc. I think we need to learn how to put some money away for emergencys. In addition in our spare time we should research the law, and ideas on how to react when dealing with law enforcement.

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