*SIGH* TIKA SUMPTER – Another one Bites the dust. IMAGES MATTER BLACK WOMEN!

Sorry long ranting and somewhat judgmental post here. But its because I care so much about the younger generations of BW avoiding this toxic baby momma mess we keep finding ourselves in as BW.

Images matter! And it seems BW are hell bent on making sure our image is always that of single baby momma who “don’t need no man”.

As I have always  talked about on this blog, I’ve stated that while I am SOOOO for BW expanding and dating out, I’m only for the BW who can do it much better than we have been doing in Black on Black relationships in which we just throw caution to the wind, hope for the best when settle for being baby mommas and nothing more.

As we have and other BW writers have discussed, BW are bringing baby momma baggage to the IR arena, further sending the message and image that it doesn’t take much to secure our vaginas and wombs.

How are we going to sit and complain that BM are half the problem and then bring that same problem into another segment that BM have nothing to do with? Who can we blame then?  Are BW the least married because BM refuse to marry or because we REFUSE to demand more for ourselves with any man?

Its easy to blame BM now, but if we bring this baby momma nonsense into the IR arena, who are we going to blame then? NON BM? NON BM who historically  *will* and do marry the women who demand such and who value themselves enough to not just pop out babies for them just cause she wound up preggers.

I mean eventually it will start to show the ones with problem are the ones who keep making these bad decisions to be baby mommas. Are we going to start calling Non BM of these baby momma situations dead beats as well?

Who do you think the world is going to believe? The woman who keeps making horrible decisions REGARDLESS of the race of man or the men? I can tell you in a patriarchal  society the woman (especially the BLACK WOMAN) will always take the blame. And good luck trying to demolish the images of White and Non Black men baby daddies. You think its hard trying to get sympathy for what BM do to BW, think again if you will get it from larger society by blaming the non BM. All society will  do is label BW who can’t make decent choices in men no matter the race and other communities will warn their sons to avoid BW who will “ruin their lives with a baby”.

MARK.MY.WORDS.

Because if I were a mother of a son with potential and I saw a segment of a race of women who indiscriminately had children, I would warn my son to avoid those women as to not be tied down for the rest of his life with a child by a woman he may have just been casually dating or having sex with, but not one he has chosen to spend his life with.

I’m telling y’all what will happen if BW do NOT shape up and start making better choices. The blame will FALL ON YOU. BW will be marked and people (healthy parents) will tell their sons of quality to avoid us like the plague because we just have kids and will ruin his life and future.

Call me judgmental. YEP! Everyone gets judged all day everyday for many different reasons.

I want YOUNG generation of BW to do better for themselves. To have a higher value of themselves as women and their bodies. YEP! And if that means dissecting the current crop of BW making these choices then so be it. You can’t improve upon something without examples of what isn’t working.

Its PAINFUL to watch so many BW with potential to secure high quality relationships, stable family units,  to settle for the same ole same ole.

And here we have a beautiful BW actress (who is 36) Tika Sumpter, who is now preggers with a White co stars baby.

Of course she is not married, and I’m even questioning if there is even any or ever  “relationship” other than casual sex they were having due to possibly working together and having some attraction. I say this because usually when people are dating (in NORMAL DATING RELATIONSHIPS) you will see them together in outings and such showing that they are in a relationship.  I mean some kid of mention from either party.

Tika has been in the spotlight as she has secured some popular films (like Ride along) and in all photos of her she is never seen with this baby daddy although she says they were dating for a year and a half. I doubt it. They were most likely SLEEPING TOGETHER and she ended up pregnant. Because like I said, in normal relationships when two people are dating (yes even celebs) you at SOME POINT see them out together.

Like so many BW, we just throw caution to the wind and allow any just any male to claim our wombs with not much commitment if any.

Its a hard pill to swallow and its even harder to watch so many BW make these horrible decisions that just keep setting themselves back.

Never have I seen her or this guy together at any premiers, never have I seen him holding her or her hand, never have I seen him in ANY relationship pictures with her.

One visit to her Instagram and you see NO, NONE, NADA, ZIP, ZERO pics of them together in any loving type photos let alone ANY photos. There are NO photos of him AT ALL! How is this healthy and normal for a pregnant woman to not have showings of the man that supposedly loves her and is going to be the father of her child?

Do y’all see what i am getting at??

Don’t come at me with this “well they want a private relationship”. Whatever! The fact is there is no relationship no matter how she tries to spin it! You don’t have to have boat loads of pics of you and your hunny but one or two just to show the man who loves you and is going to be the father of your child?

You see why we BW stay othered? Most other races of women RELISH in being loved and adored by their S/O and love showing at least something of significance about their relationship even if its just a loving photo of her and her beau together.

Here Tika is all kinds of preggers taking pregger photos and such BY HERSELF holding her own tummy.

Why do women look at pregnancy as just some thing to do. This is a moment when a woman should have a man holding her, showing affection, showing adoration of the life he helped create. I mean come on sistas!

Yet what you will see is the typical “don’t judge live your life the way you want” feel good talk from her and the  scores of confused and lost BW high giving, praising and telling her what a blessing a baby is and do her.

Yes every woman has a right to “do her” and make whatever choices she wishes for her life.

But what BUGS me, is this idea that this is some shit to be celebrated. Young BW look at this nonsense and believe that just having babies with no ring, no commitment is just a “blessing” and her choice. But do they ultimately see the consequence for mom and more so  for BABY growing up in a single parent home with MAYBE a father who decides to be apart of the babies life?

She claims a marriage doesn’t define her relationship. YADA YADA. Relationship? Is there one? I see no pics of them together. He has made no mention of her or his upcoming “bundle of joy” on his social media accounts. This is just some typical BS and I’m tired of BW settling for this!

This is the typical rubbish that baby mommas spew when they realize their relationship with the father is just a casual dating or casual sexual relationship that will not go any further.

When this guys career takes off is he going to marry her? Or will he do like most men do, when they get some coins and success, and run off and marry the woman the world cherishes or the woman who cherishes herself enough to know her worth and make him PROVE he is worthy of her love, respect and LIFE and future child? The latter you better believe it!

Do BW not look at their own communities and see what single parenthood has cultivated in our culture?

its like we just don’t care to make any kind of changes for the better.

Do they not see how these IMAGES MATTER.

But here is the painful and really hard part that so many BW like her face.

She is trying to save face in interviews by saying she wanted to keep him the baby daddy “underwraps” and a secret to avoid judgements etc. yada yada.

WHAT healthy woman in her right mind would not want to be in the presence of the man of her future child? What healthy woman would not want to be shown being loved and adored by the man she is having a child for? What healthy woman would not want the world to see the man who is committed to her and who will be helping her to raise their child?

And this mofo is GOOD LOOKING AT THAT! You better belie if the relationship were on the up and up she’d have shown him off to the world. Nothing wrong with that.

SERIOUSLY! This is the nonsense that BW keep falling for and promoting and praising. And it sends a huge message to the masses that we are unlovable and ok with that. That we don’t care about partnerships, solid relationships and love. That we just settle for having kids and hope and pray for the best with the father.  And another message we are sending is to quality men of the wold who come from families that believe in marriage and commitment is that we are just SIDE CHICKS to be had until he finds a woman “more worthy” to marry and build a family with.

Is this what BW want to be seen as? We are working really hard to ensure this based on our actions and unwillingness to HONESTLY address this issue of baby mommism and how it is NOT A GOOD LOOK or good choice for women who are already struggling with images about their womanhood and worth.

That same ole strong BW “I don’t need no man” tripe that we have been plagued with from the beginning of time!

THIS is painful to watch as a BW. I get it. Many BW who are past prime and who want kids and may not have found husbands or husband like material struggle with wanting biological kids and such. I was one such woman for a minute. But I always stuck to my guns that if I did not find a quality compatible mate to marry me, I’m just going to have to suck it up and say it wasn’t meant for me to have children and life goes on.

Too many BW think selfishly. That because *SHE* wants a baby, then that is all that matters and she will find a man who will give her one by any means necessary whether or not the relationship is even stable or even if the relationship has a solid future to stand on for the child.

This is a LIFE you are bringing into this world! A life you will have to raise mentally and emotionally. It is *NOT* easy for any one to raise a child alone whether you have money and resources or NOT. because raising a child is not simply about money and resources but providing the best emotional and mental stability so they can grow into healthy adults who make the best decisions for their life.

The truth is the reason she kept quiet about it is MOST LIEKLY because they are not together, he has no intentions on marrying her, or he is not all that excited. Of course these are just assumptions on my part. But let’s look at the real tale tale of this.

Most women are all too excited to be seen with and announcing their future child with hubby or baby daddy. No woman wants to *HIDE* who the father of her child is unless there is something not so right in the relationship.

Sometimes I look at sisters and sometimes its like watching a train wreck. What real positive role models do YOUNG up and coming BW have to make the best choices for themselves?

What and who is giving young BW the message that WE ARE VALUABLE and we are more than our vaginas an wombs? And that any man that wants US or a piece of us let a lone a DAMN CHILD from us, will have to prove his worth, his LOVE and adoration for us as a woman before he gets any of this?

Who is telling BW this!?

THIS is what smart savvy women do. They understand their worth and power as women and understand that pro creation is not simply just to be done JUST because.  It should mean we take serious consideration for the child’s well being, future, OUR well being and future.

PICK up a fin RULES BOOK for crying out loud sistas!

I’m just done….

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58 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Neecy
    Sep 14, 2016 @ 09:23:27

    I can predict the obvious comments to this now from the TYPICAL MAMMY brigade. “well not all women want to get married” “marriage is just a piece of paper””marriage doesn’t mean you have a good partner” “a baby is a blessing””stop judging and let a woman do her”.

    I’m so sick of these sorry comebacks. Well if not all women want marriage, then its becoming clear that BW are telling the world we don’t WANT nor require marriage or see the value in it. So i better not hear any complaining when article after article pops up of us being the most unmarried women and us crying about how its because BM won’t marry us.

    We are carrying this low value low self worth baggage into the interracial arena and no one is going to even fix their ears to hear us complaining when we start blaming NonBM for being dead beats.

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    • Kay
      Sep 15, 2016 @ 13:57:42

      Poeople can disagree without being a mammy . This is what i hate about the BWE. Anything one disagrees with, makes you a mammy

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      • Neecy
        Sep 15, 2016 @ 14:10:32

        First of all I am NOT a BWE blogger. I’m my own person writing about issues affecting BW.

        And if you disagree with the term mammy being used by me, then feel free to not visit my blog.

        Mammy is a term I USE to describe segment of BW who I feel are dangerous to the overall collective growth of young BW.

        If that ain’t you, then keep it moving……

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  2. Nicelle
    Sep 14, 2016 @ 11:04:13

    I honestly believe that it is too far gone as a culture norm today. Black women from all backgrounds and social classes are going to route. In fairness educated Black women tend to stop at one child and appear financially stable.

    I think it’s unlikely that this will change because there are some black females who have to look back two or three generations in their family to identify a couple who married and then created a family. When I hit my early thirties there was all kind of pressure to have a child despite my single status ironically pressure from Black women. I had three friends who went that route…one eventually married and the other two are single. They complain all the time about basically the struggles of single parenthood. It’s funny because all three of my buddies grew up in two parent household two of them had very responsible, caring, fathers.

    I was a product of a single parent home and my mother was blessed with an awesome support system, financial stability, and maturity. Even with all that support and love I was blessed to have in my childhood there is not way I could imagine bringing a child into this world without marriage. My decision seems to floor many black women of all social classes.

    Black women are very capable people and we have weathered many storms. We are not equipped to raise children outside of marriage and certainly not at the rate that we are choosing to do so. Committed, married, responsible men are important to the stability of the Black community.

    The images and the thoughts of Black or Non-black men are not my primary concern. Black women are making their and their children’s lives more difficult by choosing to have children without the benefits of marriage. They may gain empathy among one another regarding the struggles of single parenthood, but they will not do so with non-Black person because whether they understand it or not, it is illogical and self-defeating to most non-Blacks to continue to have children outside of marriage.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 14, 2016 @ 12:42:26

      NICELLE,

      great post!

      I’ve read posts where BW are excusing Tika simply because she is “better off” financially than the average black girl.

      IMO I don’t even take into consideration the financial status of the baby momma because I believe the core to raising a child is in the ability for that child to have two healthy parents raising, loving and providing for it. All a single mother who is financially able to hold her own signals to her child is that she can do it alone. I think this is a very unhealthy message to send to any young woman or even young male child. The girls grow up believing they should carry the load of motherhood and all that comes with it alone and the boys do not get to see what a healthy responsible male father and partner looks like.

      It’s important for children to see their mothers being loved and in equally healthy relationships where she is not carrying the load. I think that is the problem with many young BM & BW especially. They grow up seeing their mothers doing it all and have no idea what roles a healthy father and male in a relationship looks like.

      We keep failing our children by promoting and acting like single motherhood is ok as long as the woman can take care of her child. I beg to differ. The only difference is money. That still will never make up for the lack of father in their lives!

      Add in the interracial bi racial aspect of this and you are creating a much bigger disaster and mess for your child. What happens when that cute lil bi racial baby you decided to have with that hunky whites guy (who has no interest in being out in public with you nor claiming you) runs off and marries a non BW who he has kids with who (1) legally have his last name (2) who legally are able to get more of his resources simp,y because of legal marriage to the mother (3) who they have to watch getting more of his quality time, affections and attentions because he is married to and living with their mother – how do you think this child you selfishly decided to have is going to feel? Do BW take any of this into consideration other than “imma do me”?

      In addition think about what it will be like for the kids of well off BW like Tika’s who will most likely be growing up in upper class areas where non blacks tend to be in marriage oriented families. Once again the lone black or half black kid will be LE out while all their non blk neighbors and friends will most likely have both a father and mother in the home. And yes many upper class and higher non balks MARRY and believe in marriage.

      We just set our kids up for just stress all the damn time! No considerations ever about what our selfish choices will mean to them.

      It’s SAD!

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      • Pumpkin
        Nov 05, 2016 @ 22:28:36

        You know what…I resent this post, I think it’s a classic case of misogynoir nothing more.

        1. Do we know all of Tika’s business, why do we automatically assume it’s her fault?…
        2. If she as a grown woman decides she doesn’t want to be married, if she’s financially independent and picks a financially independent father, then that’s her choice.
        “Its easy to blame BM now, but if we bring this baby momma nonsense into the IR arena, who are we going to blame then? NON BM? NON BM who historically *will* and do marry the women who demand such and who value themselves enough to not just pop out babies for them just cause she wound up preggers”
        3. I don’t know where you been, but this comment is very problematic.nyou and I both know historically, white men SELDOM married the bw they fathered children by…for MOST of American history it’s been that way, some of the original deadbeats for bw were wm. So stop this lie. White men aren’t saints.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 14, 2016 @ 12:55:13

      The images and the thoughts of Black or Non-black men are not my primary concern

      Here’s why I feel BW who want to marry or even just have healthy long term relationships (kids or not) should actually be concerned about our images in terms of relationships.

      On another site discussing this and Tika, you had a few BW express concern as to why more and more BW are not being south as long term marriage prospects for quality men. They were wondering why BW have to get past prime ages and start worrying if they should have a kid on their own b/c of the lack of marriageable partners in any race who are not outwardly seeking BW.

      And I said to myself WHAT IS THE BIG MYSTERY HERE! Why would a man buy the cow when the milk is free. Where have BW in the last couple decades sent a clear message that we are marriageable women when we do everything married women do but without the legal binding contract, commitments and fan fare? WHY! Why would droves of quality men seek out the low hanging fruit?

      BW need to understand the difference between MEN and QUALITY MEN. Quality men have standards. They look at a lot,of different things and will make decisions based on a number of things.

      Image should matter to us because as time goes on and more BW start pushing OOW babies out for casual boyfriends or casual sexual acquaintances these men’s families will be warning them of the behaviors of BW who will get pregnant and keep the baby irregardless of the relationship status. QUALITY men do not just want baby’s by women they have no intentions on spending the rest of their lives with. So what do you think quality men who look around at the average BW are thinking.

      It’s risky to even have sexual relations with us because we don’t clearly like birth control and we have children indiscriminately NO MATTER the status of the relationship. This will mess up any future prospects he may have with a quality woman he really wants to spend his life with, but will have baby momma baaggae (from a BW nonetheless).

      I feel BW just do not look ahead or think about things AT ALL. It’s always just everyone is against us, but we cannot seem to look at the choices we make as,significant in holding us back in relationship arena where for the most part WE ARE NOT WINNING COLLECTIVLEY.

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      • Nicelle
        Sep 14, 2016 @ 21:31:32

        I truly believe that this cultural norm must be tackled from various perspectives. I think black women honestly value motherhood more than they do marriage. Like it’s an important identity marker. The story about the black woman who thought Mr. Wonderful was Wonderful, became pregnant unmarried, broke up with or was abandoned by former Mr. Wonderful, and she doggedly raised her child /children has become entrenched into the overall black female narrative. Any discussion about this norm has to also unpack this reality.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 14, 2016 @ 21:52:22

          Hmmm. Do BW value motherhood over marriage or are BW using motherhood to replace other things? Have BW bought into the idea that we are not worthy of marriage and settle for something more long term like child bearing?

          I don’t really feel BW value motherhood to the degree of the 80% OOW. If you listen to many stories I often read from young BW in this generation, I was shocked to see so many who have had poor relationships with their mothers.

          There are wonderful black mothers but raising kids alone would take a toll on any woman.

          It’s not even about BW getting married so much as its about STOP having kids by yourself.

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          • Melo
            Sep 15, 2016 @ 03:01:07

            You’re right Neecy. It’s not about getting married but how do you stop bw at this point from signing up for SBM? And have you seen the debate that is slowly catching momentum about who is actually a single mother? It seems some are more of a single mother than other single mothers. I feel even with this debate, it’s an attempt for BW to disassociate themselves from the stigma of “single mother” by redefining the definition of it, rather than changing the course of their behavior which puts them in the situation in the first place.

            Many don’t believe in abortion but I believe the same amount do not believe in using protection either. Oh and of course there are the innumerable stories of those who got pregnant while using condoms/birth control. It seems its impossible to preven BW from getting pregnant and having kids oww. They are going to have kids because many have given up on ever getting married, having families and too many do not have the slightest idea of WHAT to do with their lives IF they are not having babies.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 15, 2016 @ 14:16:25

              @ MELO

              I completely agree. Especially with your last paragraph. I believe BW have kids OOW or indiscriminately because they need to feel some kind of void. And also like you said because many just don’t think about planning out for their own lives and need kids to feel worthy.

              I mean the end result of receiving no love etc within their communities so they seek it out in children.

              But there is no guarantee your kids wil love you, especially if you are a not a great parent.

              Maybe the answer is young BW with complete different value systems than the typical or average BW should create new communities for each other to offer support and initiatives to win in life in every area they choose.

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          • Pumpkin
            Nov 05, 2016 @ 22:31:19

            Oh neecy your comments about bw are so shameful…

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      • Nicelle
        Sep 15, 2016 @ 06:41:59

        Neecy,

        I understand the premise of your point regarding black women’s image and its impact on people’s perception of black women as a group. Here’s the reality there hasn’t been a time in US history during which black women haven’t been labeled or thought of as promiscuous and sexually indiscriminate. Let us not forget that black’s women reproduction has shaped, informed, and influenced social policy in the US. We cannot get away from this reality. I think this image has become more global because of media (including social media) but its has always been apart of the US’s social fabric.

        Many black men who marry black women will become step-fathers as the same applies to black women who marry black men because blacks are more likely to have children outside of marriage. Although black women are increasing dating and marrying non-black men the majority of are not doing so and I am unsure if they would be motivated to care about non-black men’s perception of them is within the dating or marriage market.

        My two points are not excuses or justifications. In short, “WE” have to be WILLING to actually stop, listen, and understand the motivation for this behavior before we can offer solutions and combat it. Until we understand the motivation for the behavior. I am a therapist, I have learned over the years that people continue in self-defeating patterns at times regardless of the pain because it serves a purpose. And a great place to begin to unpack this mess is to ask black women to look at the incongruence between their behavior and what they say that they want – i.e. I want to be married to a Mr. Wonderful or simply to have a long term relationship and never yet I keep walking away with a baby instead.

        If we factor in black women’s alarming STD rates and abortion rates the whole issue of black women’s sexual behavior gets more complicated.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 15, 2016 @ 13:37:42

          I guess it a lost cause at this point. I don’t have the energy anymore to even care about the choices BW make COLLECTIVLEY. However, it just bothers me when I see the had result of such choices.
          — increase sexual assaults against young children (girls) by the mothers boyfriends. Children are more likely to be assaulted, killed and sexually assaulted by their mothers boyfriends to. I see the new articles all day on young black,children who are nothing but sitting ducks for perverts and predators because the bio dad isn’t around to offer any protection and the mother is desperate for male companionship and allows these predators around their kids.

          — the burden economically it takes on the children and the struggles they have to face with being born to a mother taking on all the load and having little time to send or nurture them and allow them to enjoy their childhood.

          So many things I see wrong with OOW that I will never find the energy or way to give BW the beenfit of the doubt. Not when I see the new results of what it does to the children.

          I and other smart people can see what works best in this country for kids and families and economic growth within families as well as PROTECTION – and that is marriage and I will never steer from that.

          I believe BW have kids because BW use them to fill a void. And kids are not here to fill ou voids. They should be planned and given every opportunity to flourish with two healthy adult parents raising them.

          But that’s just my opinion.

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  3. neurochick
    Sep 14, 2016 @ 12:59:13

    Though it is true that not women want to get married; I think the issue here is that she’s pregnant. I mean if she were just dating this man and never got pregnant, no one would care, in fact, no one would even know that they were having sex. But when you bring a child into the world, believe me, you need support. Even if the baby is healthy you need support; what if the baby has health problems, learning problems? Can you bear that alone?

    I think a lot of BW need to have some type of therapy before dating. We need to know that we are worth something all by ourselves, and don’t need validation from a man to be okay.

    Because of generations of racism the BC never learned boundaries. If a white person, any white person could just walk up to do and do anything and you can’t respond, that’s how you learn to not have boundaries. Like anybody can do anything to me and I can’t tell them to stop.

    Go watch the film, “9 1/2 Weeks.” Some people get confused as to what that movie was about because they get too into the S&M stuff; but it was really about an abusive relationship and how a seemingly normal, in this case white, woman can get caught up in it. There are two responses to the end of the movie, the intelligent response and the stupid response; if you give me the stupid response, then you’re not ready to date anybody. I know because I was in my 20’s when that movie came out and my first response to it was the stupid one. Years later, after a lot of work on myself, I saw it again and had the opposite response, the intelligent one, “Why the hell did it take her SO long to leave that dude?” Watch that movie and pick out all the abusive things that guy does to her; it’s hard because he’s not physically abusive (not really) but he messes with her mind, which is just as bad IMO.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 14, 2016 @ 20:03:13

      NEUROCHIK

      I completely agree. Children change things. I could care less about a woman getting married if she chooses not to have children. Most times marriage is for legal stability for the children and spouse. If you are a single childless woman who chooses LTR over marriage then you aren’t contributing to a childs lack of stability.

      I just cannot see why people take having kids so lightly, especially women and especially BLACK WOMEN. This nonsense BW spew about children being a blessing all the time shows how mentally deranged we can be. Children can be a burden on anyone not fully prepared to take care of them.

      At 36 years old she should know better.

      YOU SAID:

      I think a lot of BW need to have some type of therapy before dating. We need to know that we are worth something all by ourselves, and don’t need validation from a man to be okay.

      EXACTLY! Too many BW are male focused and do not have enough self esteem to be in healthy long term relationships. We don’t even know who to manage our reproductive choices so that we and our OFFSPRING can benefit in the long term. It seems we only think short term. Therapy could fix all of these issues BW seem to be having in relationships.

      I don’t buy these women trying to sell that single mother mess as a blessing. That is a way to save face after the fact. Instead of being honest with younger generations of BW and girls we keep telling them this nonsense and continuing a vicious cycle.

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  4. MELO
    Sep 14, 2016 @ 15:10:49

    I feel your rant but honestly I feel bw and the baby momma scenario is one that will play out until Jesus returns. There is no end in sight. I read it every day online, the mentality of bw and how they encourage and excuse having babies oww. They don’t encourage the younger generstion to do better but instead teach them “marriage is just a piece of paper”. They tell inspiring stories of how they were strong black independent single mothers or offer the same tired story that their man was a good man, all the way up until the sperm reached the egg……and then their good man just went bad. If you u speak on it, you are judging and/or a hater. This sad situation will on not change unless black women realize the effects it is having on their lives, the impact it has on their kids and our communit as a whole. Many of them sign up for the struggle and wesr it like a badge of honor. I

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    • Neecy
      Sep 14, 2016 @ 20:06:58

      MELO SAID:

      They tell inspiring stories of how they were strong black independent single mothers or offer the same tired story that their man was a good man, all the way up until the sperm reached the egg

      OMG LMAO this was hilarious and so so true!

      Yeah i am bout ready to give up on this dream that the BW collective will pull it together. I’ll just sit back and watch and see how long we continue this train wreck lowly behavior as women and then complain and wonder why men see BW as non marriage material as a whole (not all but many young BW are going to struggle with contending with this image and perception that we are easy to bed and will have kids by almost any man we are with and dating).

      That’s going to be a hard terrain to navigate for the younger generation of BW. And it seems BW as a whole do not care about cleaning this up.

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  5. Dorian
    Sep 14, 2016 @ 17:31:15

    Hello Neecy,
    I’m truly enjoying this article. This Tika person is a damn dummy! I do not believe in having children out of wedlock. This is not normal behavior, and marriage is so important in this society.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 14, 2016 @ 20:08:38

      Its very important Dorian. Especially for a group of un-protected women like BW. Children with fathers have a certain protection that children without fathers do not get. And women as well. Oh well.

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  6. Formavitae
    Sep 15, 2016 @ 13:01:57

    They live together. Let’s just hope this leads to a marriage. Here is a link to her interview with Fit Pregnancy:

    http://www.fitpregnancy.com/parenting/celebrity/tika-sumpter-shares-her-tips-for-doing-pregnancy-on-your-terms

    I believe a stable, healthy marriage is ideal for raising children and having safe personal relationships. However, I am going to be honest. Bing a mother is VERY important to me, and if I don’t connect with a man I want to marry, I’m not going to be childless. I’m just being honest and sincere. I understand those who disagree.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 15, 2016 @ 13:45:09

      Formative,

      For the sake of Tika and her baby I do hope they give their child the benefit of marriage. Living together means nothing and he can leave at any given time without much to worry with while they are unmarried. He can also find another woman to marry and have kids with at any given time without much to,worry about as long as she isn’t married.

      But what’s weird to me is he has pics of him and his dog and a bunch of others in his Instagram and NONE OF HER? I just…. I guess I’m old fashion or think like non BW when it comes to love and dating. Non BW like being shown they are loved and adored. I get privacy and all. But something is weird whe. A man doesn’t show any kind of public adoration for his girlfriend or future mother of his kid. That bugs me there are no mentions or,photos of her anywhere on his social media. It’s not even like they are that popular that they need to worry about what typical a list celebs worry about with privacy.

      It’s not even that I’m nosey. But as a very woke BW that believes we need to see BW being loved and adored (and young BW need to see this as well) it bothers me when I don’t see this shown towards us by the men in our lives – especially the ones we are giving birth for.

      As far as your situation, well you’re an adult woman and I’ve always said grown women can make their own choices despite what others think.

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      • Formavitae
        Sep 16, 2016 @ 13:36:02

        Neecy,

        I AGREE with you. Cohabiting IS NOT the same as having a marital commitment. MARRIAGE is the more SECURE arrangement and should be the GOAL for AA women/girls seeking to live an optimal life.

        These days, MANY people cohabit. That does not mean it is the best choice. I don’t cohabit. I wasn’t raised that way, and I believe MARRIAGE should be the vehicle utilized by those who profess to love each other and desire a long term commitment. But, since many choose that lifestyle, and, currently, that’s what Tika’s selected, I hope it is indicative of a deeper level of commitment and caring. At least, daddy is IN the home (for now).

        As far as my statement about my desire to be another even if I don’t marry, I STILL say marriage is my goal. One of the realities of life, not frequently discussed, is the set of challenges one faces when seeking a marital partner as they get older. I’m not talking about AGE. I’m talking about the challenges of trying to combine lives that have been established SEPARATELY. I’m also referring to the challenges of trying to establish a solid foundation with a person who already has established foundations with others BEFORE you. I’m also referring to the awareness of self and identity people have as they get older that makes one more PARTICULAR about whom they would consider a “GOOD FIT”.

        The truth is, it’s EASIER to establish a life and relationship with a person when you’re younger because you’re more “flexible” and can grow/develop goals together. You probably don’t have remnants of former lives and relationships that you have to figure out how to “weave” together into a solid and desirable “basket”. You don’t have to deal with repercussions or vestiges or bitterness of another’s heartache/disappointment from the past. Have you ever dated a divorced person as a never married person? It can be VERY DIFFICULT. People remarry REGULARLY, but that still doesn’t negate the “mismatch ” that sometimes exists between “never married” people and “divorced” people. I haven’t even MENTIONED potential challenges when CHILDREN are involved.

        Had I known and understood these things, I would have married one of my suitors when I was younger. And, I had some EXCELLENT prospects (NOT ALL, but MOST). I haven’t given up on meeting the right person and getting married. I have many positive qualities and attributes which are ASSETS. But, the challenges I mentioned in the previous paragraph ARE REAL.

        Family, marriage, and children are VERY important to me. So is BEING A MOTHER. That is the role I look forward to MOST in life. It isn’t one I’m willing to “sacrifice “. I have been working hard to have a good, solid, and secure life from which to build with another, and to offer the best opportunities and security for my children. MY DESIRE is to do so with a good husband. That’s what I’m working/aiming for.

        I’m just BEING HONEST, because I like to present a true and genuine portrait of myself. I advocate for marriage FOR ALL AA women/girls striving for a better life. But, I’m not one of the “die hards” willing to remain childless just because I never got married.

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        • Neecy
          Sep 20, 2016 @ 19:16:51

          Formative,,

          I do hope you find a man to marry before having a child. If not and you choose motherhood anyway, I wish you & that child the best.

          YOU SAID:

          Had I known and understood these things, I would have married one of my suitors when I was younger. And, I had some EXCELLENT prospects (NOT ALL, but MOST).

          And this is why these conversations are important so that future generations of BW are aware of the binds they will find themselves in by not making these choices in mates when they had the chance earlier and in their primes.

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          • Formavitae
            Sep 21, 2016 @ 01:09:05

            Neecy,

            I believe that I WILL find the right person to marry and establish a family with. My statements on becoming a mother were in no way meant to undermine the importance of marriage or fathers for raising a family. I made that statement out of authenticity. I am not a hypocrite, presenting one face while actually having another.

            I hope that any woman who STRONGLY desires motherhood but decides not to take that path, for whatever reason, finds happiness in their choice and not regret.

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            • Neecy
              Sep 21, 2016 @ 09:08:45

              Yes I know Formative. I know you have a good head on your shoulders simp,y based on the comments and such you have made here on the blog and other blogs.

              We don’t have to agree on everything. There are plenty of women who have raised healthy kids in single mother homes. I just don’t find it ideal and I feel we failed our generations of young BW by not telling them there are other options and alternatives to becoming single moms.

              I thought about it in my late 30’s as well. Then I just settled on the fact or idea that if it were meant for me to have kids I would have had them with someone by now. And now I embrace my niece and myself and the rest of my life devoted to myself and helping other young black girls make good choices for themselves early on so they do not have to contemplate this decision when they are much older.

              But like I said, whatever choice a woman makes, I honestly wish her and the child the best.

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  7. Neecy
    Sep 15, 2016 @ 14:03:55

    More proof of how young black kids and babies are fodder for pervs and predators of all races.

    Where the FUK were this baby’s parents? Mother? Father?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3791449/Iowa-teen-19-filmed-having-sexual-intercourse-toddler-posted-video-online-receives-NO-prison-time-despite-guilty-plea.html?ito=social-facebook

    “Grooms was arrested in 2014 after an investigation led Homeland Security to believe that he had ‘produced child pornography in which he photographed himself engaging in sexual contact with an African American baby girl 12 to 18 months old.”

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  8. cediblog
    Sep 15, 2016 @ 16:00:54

    hi there I googled this Tika Sumpter, and it said that she married someone by the name of Isaiih Richards in 2010 and I think she has a child already. It said nothing about a divorce from this Isaih Richards.

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  9. cediblog
    Sep 15, 2016 @ 18:15:58

    You know what I googled Tika Sumpter again, she used to act in the soap Onelife to live a few years ago. She was one of the main reasons I stopped watching OLTL, she portrayed a kind of flaky character. named Layla Williamson an irresponsible character in my opinion, I never knew her real name , but now I do it is Tika Sumpter. Most Bw in soaps I generally found flaky anyways. i.e Victoria Rowell.
    It appears that Tika Sumpters daughter has a different surname than her and Isaiah Richards. Another typical scenario involving BW like her.

    In my opinion she is old enough to do what she wants, it would not be the lifestyle I would choose for myself but, hey she played a flaky character in OLTL and as they say art does imitate real life.

    I saw nothing wrong with either her of the white guy not putting each others picture on either of their instagrams, because let us be honest interracial relationships are still not cool with most people.=, so it may be wise to keep those relationships hush,hush, because negative outside influences can ruin those types of relationships, when they are forming.

    if this is all true about Tika Sumpter and her past and present relationships, she is typical of far too many BW, no surprise there.

    Heres the thing though, we have to stop looking at BW celebrities to repair our image. We have to teach Black girls that BW celebrities are not role models for them. We have to find ways to wean ourselves and black girls off the media. Let us be honest most black female celebrities don’t give a shit about non-celebrity BW,.
    We should not support many of them either. both TV and other forms of mainstream media are said to be the beast.

    In my opinion, we BW are responsible for ourselves and our underage children. We are not responsible for other BW’s behaviour. I know it makes us look bad, but we cannot be putting energy into irresponsible BW’s destructive behaviour, we will go craz yif we do, irresponsible Bw have tooo many pathologies. the best one can do is to stay away from and not have them in your psyche.

    I do not know Tika Sumpter personally, but I know the type and I do not think this relationship is going to last, and personally someone like her for those of us who are trying to improve our lives, do not figure into the equation.

    HOLLYWEIRDOS in my opinion do not deserve our time or energy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Neecy
      Sep 20, 2016 @ 19:20:39

      CEDIBLOG,

      I understand that she is a Hollywood actress an they should not be representative of the choices of BW. The reality is, these discussions need to happen for future generations of young BW to avoid making these unwise choices for themselves.

      If we ignored the BW who did this be them famous or not, we will end up with another generation of LOST BW who do not know their worth and who just breed for the sake of having babies for selfish reasons vs. bringing a child into this world with a plan for THAT CHILD and not just Her needs of wanting a baby regardless of the relationship or protections she has set up for that child through the father.

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  10. SilverRoxen
    Sep 15, 2016 @ 20:31:08

    Regarding your opinion about thinking that black women having children to fill a void, watch this video Neecy.
    http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/video-single-parenthood-childs-perspective/

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    • Neecy
      Sep 20, 2016 @ 19:28:25

      @ Silverroxxen,

      Thanks for that video! And I think she hit a lot of points on where it stands from a child’s perspective – especially when that child is being raised around other kids from other communities that value two parent homes and marriage.

      That is why when BW say “well its different if the BW is well off and can afford to raise a baby on her own” i call BS. It may be different only from a financial perspective, but as the girl in the video pointed out and I did as well, the more financially well off a baby momma is, the more likely she will be raising her kids around upper middle class to upper class communities where the Non Black kids will have TWO PARENTS in the home and who will have the fathers last name. Then here you have some Black or half black kid with a Black mother raising them alone.

      How do you think that kid will feel going to school and being the “TYPICAL” Black kid or half Black kid with a black mother who didn’t marry the father and is raising the kid by herself?

      Its embarrassing and not fair for Black and Bi racial children to have to endure that because their mothers didn’t think long term about the consequences of their selfish choices.

      In fact it will be harder for a kid from a baby momma situation than a kid from a poorer or less economically well off Black mother because the poorer mother will most likely be raising her kid around other kids who are from single Black mother ran homes. So the kid would not be left out in that sense.

      The higher up on the economic ladder a Black baby momma is, the more outcasted that child will feel since Non Blacks of higher economic status usually are married or at least if they are divorced *WERE* married and the kid shares the fathers last name and spend time with the father and knows of their other side of the family.

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  11. neurochick
    Sep 17, 2016 @ 09:46:14

    I don’t think OOW births regarding BW will ever stop because now you have whole neighborhoods where that is the norm. Also there are no real consequences for having an OOW child. We don’t live in the bad old days where the mother and child would both be shamed and shunned. I wouldn’t want to live in those times again.

    I feel that a lot of BW don’t think about “what could happen.” Sometimes I go to a women’s group. One of the women, who is white, has two sons, both of them have special needs. She and her husband are well off but still she worries about what will happen to her sons when she and her husband are no longer there.

    I believe that if you are planning to have a CHILD, it’s best to be married. What if your child has special needs? Could you deal with that alone?

    I also think a lot of black women are sour on marriage because too many people idealize it. I once heard a therapist say that marriage was “trading one set of problems for another set of problems,” meaning that marriage was not going to solve your problems. Maybe a lot of women who say “marriage is just a piece of paper” thought marriage was going to transform them, or their husband and it didn’t. I knew a BW who said she didn’t want to get married ever again because her first husband (a WM) had a lot of debt, and when they divorced, she was responsible for half of it, even though she didn’t have anything to do with it.

    I think gay people, who fought for marriage equality for decades, have a realistic view of marriage. I once heard a gay man say that they don’t want to change what marriage is, they just want “the right to visit my partner in the hospital.” To them, marriage is about protection, You have the right to visit your partner in the hospital when they are sick, their family can’t turn you away; you have the right to your partner’s social security/retirement, when they die.

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    • Formavitae
      Sep 17, 2016 @ 13:44:13

      Marriage is ALWAYS the best and “ideal” situation for having children/building a family.

      Dorothy Dandridge had a special needs child. Her husband didn’t feel like dealing with it, left her, and moved to France. That’s why she went back to working in the entertainment industry, so she could afford to raise her daughter alone. She paid a woman to raise her daughter and bought the woman a house. When she eventually went bankrupt, the woman sent her daughter back, and she had to be institutionalized. Dorothy never got over that heartbreak. And, her husband never made a contribution in the child’s care or security.

      I once had a patient who came to the hospital with his wife and young son who looked to be about 8 years old. His wife had terminal cancer and was expected to have less than one year to live. The patient was having some chest pain and difficulty breathing. Turns out, he had cancer too. It was a new diagnosis.

      We do our best to prepare for things in life the best way we know how. But, sometimes, things don’t go as expected or the way they are “supposed” to.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 20, 2016 @ 19:29:06

      ITA Neurochik!

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  12. dearborneil
    Sep 17, 2016 @ 12:24:41

    I think a lot of people nowadays just simply don’t care or value marriage , they just seem to want to get laid and to hell with the consequences. Now i’m a married man but if i were single and wanted to sleep around you bet your ass i’d be wearing condoms. I don’t have any children of my own but if my queen and i were ever to adopt we would want our finance’s in order so we could provide for our childs needs.

    Sometimes in life you need to take a step back and think before you drop you pants.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 20, 2016 @ 19:30:19

      I just can’t fathom why women just sleep with men and easily become pregnant by men (clearly not using protection) they haven’t even been with very long. its sad and speaks volumes on the low self esteem and lack of self care so many women (especially BW ) have.

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  13. neurochick
    Sep 18, 2016 @ 13:26:58

    From another board: If you think marriage doesn’t matter, watch the movie “9/11: The Curse of Compensation.” I watched it. It’s on Amazon Prime. Watch the second story, the story of the woman who was living with a firefighter, and they had a child together. I didn’t get why they never married. The third story was sad because they were a gay couple and same sex marriage wasn’t legal in 2001. It’s important to be married; you never know what could happen and money brings out the evil in seemingly decent people.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 20, 2016 @ 19:34:04

      NEUROCHIK

      Thanks I watched that over the weekend and BOOM, like you and everyone for marriage has been saying. There is plenty of proof why its stupid for any woman to just shack up and have a kid with a man unmarried ESPECIALLY if she is not the breadwinner or depends on him financially.

      She will have to fight for anything she feels entitled to that WIVES do not have to even worry about getting. And for her to say “I was treated like I wasn’t a wife” I’m like YOU WEREN’T A WIFE! You were a live in baby momma. You may have been living and doing all the things a wife does, but legally you are NOT a wife. You don’t share his last name and you do not have legal papers declaring this, and therefore, you did not qualify for any of his pension or things that a legal wife would be entitled to.

      Cannot understand why they were not married.

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      • neurochick
        Sep 21, 2016 @ 11:04:29

        I could not understand why that couple wasn’t married either. He was a firefighter and everybody knows they are worth more dead than alive (sad but true), and both of them were in dangerous professions. They should have married BEFORE she became pregnant.

        I felt for the gay couple because at that time they weren’t allowed to marry; they might have married had it been legal.

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  14. Kay
    Sep 18, 2016 @ 16:48:52

    You are a bwe blogger whether or not you use that label. What about bwe do you not subscribe to?

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  15. cediblog
    Sep 20, 2016 @ 23:53:26

    Hi Neecy I understand what you are saying, but as you know not all but far too many BW don’t give a shit. The crazy thing is that many of these BW who give birth and especially OOW, after the titillation of giving birth wears off they let their children run wild, these BW do not parent their children. Many of these women gie birth for illogical reasons such as Tika is the same, as many inner city BW, the only difference is that she has more money than most of those women. Many BW may have university degrees, but common sense can ake you further than academic education.

    Many East Asian groups think of how their present actions will affect their future and the furture of their descendants (7 generations). BP tend not to think of how present actions will ffect their future and their childrens future, Far too many BP live for the present moment only.

    The only way I see to help heal this situation is conscious BW who have their act together, should have workshops and teach young BG’s lifeskills training and contraceptives and how to properly use contraceptives. I am kind of leery about teaching BW about contraception because I believe that many are a lost cause. The target market for BF’s changing are our girls.

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  16. Nicelle
    Sep 21, 2016 @ 03:39:11

    How honest will “we be”? Are we embarrassed by the negative images that black women who make piss poor decisions supposed cause or “us” or are we concerned about how the consequences that said piss poor decisions cause black women and their offspring?

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    • Neecy
      Sep 21, 2016 @ 08:58:55

      @ Nicelle

      For me? BOTH. I believe images correlate to perceptions which correlate to treatment.

      And in the other side, I hate what it does to the kids since I don’t believe BW who choose single motherhood are truly thinking in the child’s behalf.

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  17. cediblog
    Sep 21, 2016 @ 08:41:55

    Hi NEECY and LADIES
    I began to get tired so I could not continue.
    The other thing I wanted to point out and it this is just my opinion, that is far too BP may have a problem with “Impulse Control” and do not think of the aftermath of the consequences of their actions, as I mentioned in a previous reply, many East Asian cultures tend to be future oriented, we tend to be just moment oriented(very child-like behaviour on our part). BM get second chances for their child like behaviour from BW, WW, and others are in a strange way more likely to give a BM some sort of a second chance, WW, get second chances from other we BW do not, which is why I look at ways at how lack of ‘impulse control” screws up BW the most, whether it is OOW pregnancy like Tika’s and so many others,caping for others (which so many BW do,only to never get reciprocal caping from other), teenage BG’s getting the shit kicked out of them by grown WM for not immediately obeying orders in schools, putting pictures of themselves out there for people to criticize, not complying with cops when they tell us to put out our cigarettes, we fly off the handle and end up dead somehow in jail (by the way I recently hear her famil ywas awarded 1.9 million, where the hell were they when she wanted to be bailed out of jail? sad to say it seems many BP are more important to their family members when they are dead than alive) and the list goes on and on and on.

    We as BW do not use our brains in most of our daily going ons, not all of us but far too many of us do not think logically or at all (No I am not being funny or facetious, I am being dead serious) Every pathology that BW are inundated with is due to 3 main things in my opinion, lack of impulse control, not using the brain to think logically and last but not least not thinking in terms of grey areas.

    Neecy in my opinion, UNDERSTANDING THEGREY AREAS”was a simply written article but a very “POWERFUL’ article, maybe you can repost it or expand on it even more, because it is one of the best logical solutions, I have read regarding a lot of BW’s dilemma. psychologist Black, W hite, Asian like to studyus and come up with these innacurate, enabling, victimizing theories and rubbish theories, and we gobble it up like some gluttonous dessert.

    Even BW motivational speakers, from what I know do not touch enough on “Understanding Grey Areas” Iyanla does nothing for me she is fixing people lives but I am unsure if she has gotten out of her fuckery fully. Jewel Diamond Taylor is Okay, but doesn’t deal with the basic core, which is our brain.

    Something to think about for us BW who want to improve” UNDERSTANDING THE GREY AREAS” in my opinion holds the key.

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    • Neecy
      Sep 21, 2016 @ 09:04:45

      @ CEDI

      YES a lot of BWs problems and such would disappear if we just thought ahead and planned out things for the long term. You know racist white men have said for centuries that the black race is doomed because of our poor impulse control. And when I look around, that is what I see. We are too impulsive as people and we act out of short term and not looking at the long term.

      BW the most un protected group should be the most impulse controlled group alive considering our circumstances. But instead we keep making decisions based on the assumption that we will receive the same second chances, courtesies that WW, BM and others get. Instead we keep learning the hard way and getting reality that we do not get second chances and the blame will often ALWAYS be placed at our feet.

      Knowing this why do we keep making these same nonsensical errors!?

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      • neurochick
        Sep 21, 2016 @ 11:16:35

        It’s called “Act, not Re-act.” Too many BP react to the behavior of others, instead of acting independently.

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  18. Luvi
    Oct 06, 2016 @ 17:59:15

    I am late on this post…love this blog Neecy….your ideas view points are smart, practical, refreshing and SO needed…I reference points in your blog when engaged in conversations with my fellow sistas. Let me say this, and this is ONLY from what I have observed in my enviroment coming from a moderate sized midwest town.

    I have observed so many women and myself included when I was “stuck on stupid” took part in the koolaid that “marriage aint nothing but a piece of paper” attitude…. and might I add also that this applies to the “nothing but a black man crew” I now fully believe this was due in part to the fact that the pool of marriageable (black)men in our daily enviroment was so sparse, and if you did get married, it was after you had out of wedlocked children already and or had been dragged to hell and back and a lot of your years wasted before the pathetic kneegrows finally decided to “settle down with the ride or die chick.” And even with that, the marriages tended to not be worth the paper they were written on.

    If you are still in that “nothing but a black man” mindset, it gives the perception that marriage may never happen for you so you basically settle and then hide behind that “everybody don’t wanna get married” bullsh*t”, which is I know is a lie because if and when there is marriage to be had, the same black women brag and shout to the gawds how “I’s married now…or my huzzband this, my huzzband that……SMH. As a result, single motherhood can seem to be the only option if you refuse to think outside the box and get smart about this.

    Sorry to be so long winded but that is something I have experienced and observed personally, but I am so happy for common sense blogs such as yours that encourage black women to not just date out, but become better women in general. And I agree with you and the poster earlier…if you are dysfunctional by all means please get your act together, therapy etc…. before getting into ANY dating arena, especially IR, please don’t take this level of dysfunction into the global stage ladies! ….At the end of the day, children are best suited in a HEALTHY relationship with HEALTHY MARRIED PARENTS. PERIOD.

    Peace and blessings to all.

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    • Neecy
      Oct 16, 2016 @ 22:19:11

      LUVI!!!

      Thank you for your support. And I agree with your post. Many of these women have given up and just accept what they can get from BM.

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  19. Formavitae
    Jan 21, 2017 @ 12:22:02

    GREAT NEWS!

    https://bossip.com/1441482/some-sweet-swirly-matrimony-dom-tika-sumpter-reveals-she-got-a-ring-from-her-vanilla-kang/

    HOPEFULLY, they follow through, AND IT LASTS. But, this is a step in the right direction.

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    • Neecy
      Jan 21, 2017 @ 20:24:40

      Meh. Glad she *finally* got a ring. Still over BW giving birth to babies if men who won’t make the ultimate commitment to them. BW continue to do things ass backwards. Engagements should not come a year after a baby is on board – it seems other races of women can date for years and not end up pregnant and getting married after kids are already born.

      Good for her – still NOT impressed.

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      • kay
        Jan 23, 2017 @ 17:49:33

        This is what happens when we assume. Talking about not seeing her pics on his page…

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        • Neecy
          Jan 24, 2017 @ 07:34:39

          I didn’t ASSUME ANYTHING. She was pregnant with a mans baby that she wasn’t even engaged or married to. She’s now engaged after the baby has already been delivered. Not impressed.

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    • kay
      Jan 23, 2017 @ 17:51:37

      I wonder why tick was even something to mention. The baby OOW? Was that it? It’s like bw are just as hard on bw and the men are. Even when those women are financially secure.

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      • Neecy
        Jan 24, 2017 @ 07:37:19

        On this blog I don’t celebrate BW doing things ass backwards and hoping for the best. This page /blog is about BW making best choices UP FRONT to win in life. Being an un wed baby momma (money or no money) is not WINNING in my opinion and because it’s MY BLOG I will express those views.

        If you want to celebrate typical basic behaviors of BW rich or not, NEECYS NEST is not the place for you.

        Have a good day!

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