Happy New? Year?! EGADS I am soooo sorry and late.


Yes I know I know, I go off on these long hiatuses and it’s a little bad on my part but I’ve been trying to figure out where I want to go with this blog and the next step. Sometimes you have to sit back and just let things come to you as they will and yes in this case it took 3 months.


So here is what I have decided. I’m going to keep this blog up. I think it shows the change and growth I’ve gone through over the last several years. It first started off as a personal page just with my own ramblings on my life that I wanted to share. Then somehow it turned into a site that focused on helping a segment of men understand women and dating in general. Then it turned into a sort of BWE site with PRO IR messaging , then it went from that to a general site for Black women and Progressive BW’s issues.


NOW? Yes I’m changing again. Change is good. I think it represents the reality that people and ideas are constantly shifting and hopefully for the better – at least for their lives.


I tend to be very intuitive and so when the shift start stirring inside of me I go with it.


So now I am contemplating on whether or not I change to my new “venture” on this blog or create a separate blog (which I already have but I’m too lazy to build it at this moment).


I’m thinking a new fresh blog with my new ideas is probably best. But then I have changed the theme and purpose of Neecy’s Nest so many times why not do it again? At least I have a timeline and history of where I am at now.


I know many of you are not religious or don’t necessarily believe in religion or God and I respect that. But I Do and so, I have to say that I have had a very clear epiphany from above. I constantly pray for awakening and for God to lead me in the direction that will benefit me and my passions the most and while I feel I don’t always get the answer right away, I have to say this year is a year of awakening and change for me.


I have *FINALLY* shed an issue I dealt with for 9 years and cold turkey just freed myself from it. No desire AT ALL to look back or go back. And it took 9 years to get to this place and it feels so good. I finally feel I am getting a do over for myself – yes at 43!


With that comes a clear vision for my future, goals and passions and now I can fully focus on those now that the other distraction has left the building FOR GOOD.


I also joined Facebook and actively participated mid last year. I’ve had some serious discoveries since doing so. Not all great and frankly how Facebook has opened my eyes to a lot of things I am not so comfortable with in terms of Black women as a collective and the subset of “progressive BW” (if you will). I’ll get into that later. BUT the point is this year many changes are happening in my life and they are happening early on.


One is the blog and my next move.


I am definitely looking to thin the herd. Meaning, I’m looking for an audience of BW with a certain mindset and goals that goes beyond what I have been discussing on this blog the last several years.


I am looking for a very RARE kind of BW as my audience and that is who and how I will be speaking on this new endeavor.

I’m looking for the truly carefree Black girl/woman. Deep inside of me that is who I am to my core. I am generally a happy well-adjusted woman who loves life. I have my ups and downs of course like all others, but even in stressful uncertain times, I manage to get back to a happy place.


I am to my core Carefree, free thinking, complex, intuitive and practical. I often don’t embrace these things about myself as I should because a flaw of mine is to get “caught up” in things that take me away from my original purpose. I’m easily distracted and I can admit this about myself.


And this is my goal for improvement this year. Not get taken away by distractions and recognize them for what they are, recognize them ahead of time so I can avoid them and keep my sanity and my true self at the fore front.


I was a carefree little Black girl. I grew up with hardly any of the typical pains and struggles that many BW have faced. I don’t know about sexual assault personally. I have two great parents. I was sheltered and grew up loved. I didn’t experience personally a lot of the pitfalls of Blackistan. I generally had a great carefree life. I don’t have much pain or suffering to report personally. I just don’t. I know there are lots more BW out there like this, but they are not as vocal online because they are out living carefree lives.


I haven’t been doing so – at least not to the level that I should have been. But as I said, I had an issue I dealt with for 9 years that kept me distracted and off my path. And now I’m getting back on after almost a decade. That’s life, you roll with it and I’m glad I still have time left to still live a relatively happy care free life.


SO the question is, HOW or WHY did I get caught up in the BWE message, the PRO IR message and finally the Progressive BW message? I became angry at seeing how OTHER BW were affected by many things in the world. I wanted to encourage them to change and seek their best lives. But I think I got away from part of myself. I think I got distracted by others personal plights and become very obsessed with this idea that I wanted to help BW overcome the issues affecting them in general.


I’m honestly exhausted and stressed. Mainly because I realize a lot of BW don’t want or know how to change for the better. I realize that for many Blacks in general (both male and female) victimhood is just a rites of passage and anything to get them out of such (such as self-reflection etc.) is futile and will exhaust you if you try to get them to see the light.




I didn’t think to go about it a different way that spoke to me and my personal experiences. I’m not discounting anything. I’m saying I’m not so sure the route I chose was the best route. Because now what I am seeing is a big lie. A lot of BW saying but not really doing. And I realize the BW living and walking the walk are literally doing just that. They aren’t online pondering this stuff. They’ve figured it out and have managed to successfully be progressive without having to read about it, participate on blogs and forums to direct them on how to do such. BW like me. But the difference is, they didn’t get distracted like I did. They JUST DID IT!


So now. She is my target. BW like *ME*. Truly carefree and baggage free. Truly embracing life. The good, bad and ugly. Calling it out when necessary but still flowing through life regardless of the obstacles. A woman of Faith. A woman with some sort of spirituality (not necessarily religion but some sort of spirituality). A woman who understands the Universe and how to pull the things from it to benefit her. A BW fearlessly living according to her standards ALONE no matter how uncomfortable it makes others.


BW who are unapologetic about loving life. BW free from typical dysfunctions. BW free from colorism issues. BW free from pettiness. BW free from indoctrinated thinking. BW free from anger. BW free from being confrontational. BW free from hurt and BW who simply DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR TEARS.


I’m 43. I aint got time for tears or anymore distractions that keep my sanity challenged and my head about to explode. And if you are well under my age NEITHER DO YOU.


I’m going to still speak my peace on topics. But they will hopefully enlighten rather than enrage. Hopefully I can discuss things that most BW fear discussing. Hopefully I can create topics that get you thinking outside the box.


This is my new mission and goal.


So I’m looking for a PRINCESS MINDSET. When You think of a Princess what do you think of? I tend to first ROYALTY, DISTINGUISHED, PRIZED, CAREFREE, WELL TAKEN CARE OF, LOVED, FEMININE, KIND, SPOILED, a TREASURE and WORTHY.


It sounds silly, but this is often my mindset on how I expect to flow through this life. And the weird thing is, all those things I can provide initially for myself and can attract those who will also be willing to acknowledge my worth and purpose as Neecy and a woman.


It’s late and I am rambling and gonna end on this note. I won’t be distracted anymore. I will embrace my core self and personal values as a BW and I will accept that a lot of BW simply can’t get to this place nor do they want to.


If you are ready to let go of the baggage, the anger, the excuses, the frustrations, then please stay here and see where this new idea takes you. If not. I understand.


I’m done with the anger and fighting. I’m done. It’s time to truly be carefree and yes at 43 I’m feeling this is my time to embrace my whole self as I am and not take on other people’s struggles, pain, frustrations, obstacles, worries, fights, etc.


I feel like I’ve lost my vitality in life and its time to get errr back.



Stay tuned…….



25 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cheryl
    Mar 07, 2017 @ 04:08:12

    Change for real. I rem you saying it was not a BWE site.



  2. Jihan
    Mar 07, 2017 @ 09:27:00

    Yeah! 😊 I really like the direction this blog is heading!



  3. Neecy
    Mar 07, 2017 @ 12:22:42

    So should I start new blog or just start by making new posts on this blog?



  4. neurochick
    Mar 07, 2017 @ 12:48:16

    Good for you. Get rid of all the nonsense.



  5. Neecy
    Mar 07, 2017 @ 13:05:28

    Neurochik THANKS for your support!

    I’m excited about this new direction. I’m grateful for that chapter in my life where I tried to entertain a progressive BW mindset and even grateful for the BWE messaging and ladies who inspired me. But I don’t have the energy to focus on most BW anymore. Just a small number who I truly feel GETS IT and truly wants to be carefree.

    I’m tired of bitching about how the world is against us yada yada. The universe takes care of those who believe the best of themselves and their future. That’s the route I want to take.



  6. Neil Marsden
    Mar 07, 2017 @ 16:13:20

    As this is for BW i will keep this short and sweet , how the bloody hell are you 43 ??????? I honestly thought you were in your 20’s.
    Btw , wonderful blog and i look forward to reading more in the future.



  7. foosrock!
    Mar 07, 2017 @ 23:19:27

    Hi Neecy. Thank goodness!. I am so looking forward to less woe is me and victimisation and more: girls, guess what I did today and it was soooooooo fun!

    As for your question about this blog, I would start new. leave this blog up for those who are still in “transition”………



    • Neecy
      Mar 08, 2017 @ 07:42:44


      Where have u been I missed your sassy booty! 😂

      Thanks for suggestion. I think you’re right. Have a separate blog and keep this one up.



      • foosrock!
        Mar 08, 2017 @ 23:57:55

        I’ve been reading and leaving. I could not participate anymore as, like you have written and realised, it’s an huge burden to carry and very disheartening to oneself.
        I’m still in lovely Switzerland and you know you have an open-invitation. That goes for any of your readership. Take chances. Enjoy your lives. I’m here. Im Ernst!



  8. cediblog
    Mar 09, 2017 @ 13:59:17

    HELLO NEECY AND LADIES, FOR SOME STRANGE REASON,I DECIDEDTO SEE if the blog was still up. My last reply in the last blog which was 53% of white women gave Hillary the middle finger and 94% of BW gave her the vote, my replly was the last one and I stated “DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TODO, NO MORE EXCUSES”

    To Neecy I too get distracted with other BW problems, even though I am hardly around BW. When I went on the internet, most BW blogs dealt with a lot of negativity, racism, pro-interracial dating, sexual assault etc. etc.etc., The same old same old.
    Neecy and other ladies, do not let unhappy miserable BP pull you down. You don’t owe them anything. You owe yourselves the best of everything.

    I too am very tired of victimization, and I too got distracted with other BW problems, . Most of their problems I could NEVER relate to. and you know what we know for the most part what to do to improve our lives.

    I celebrated my birthday last month and I turned 55> I permanently disabled my facebook page, I was not on it very much anyways, but still it served no beneficial purpose too me. Neecy I gather you just had your birthday, I remember you said that you were a Pisces, . My mother who is no longer was Pisces also, she went trough many changes in her life, at the end she found happiness, because she truly wanted and practiced change in her life.

    This is just a suggestion, a new blog means new beginnings,



  9. Lamb E
    Mar 10, 2017 @ 02:12:53

    Hi Neecy I see you on Facebook sometimes being very intelligent and not being vulgar. Keep the blog Neecy’s Nest as you have branded your name and do your new thing and much success to you



  10. Eji
    Mar 11, 2017 @ 20:25:42

    Hi Neecy. Happy 2017 and welcome back. I like the idea above of leaving this page up but starting a new nest. A real new start. Just leave us a forwarding address. Funny enough, I broke my ankle on Jan5 and so I have had a lot of time to comtemplate and I realized that the news, social media etc were really getting me down and so I have been on hiatus from them all and saw my mood improve. Got me thinking along the same lines you are. I am not as nice as you though, I have been travelling more on the “screw em all, Iife is too short” train of thought. Heres to living our best life for mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health.



  11. Dorian
    Mar 12, 2017 @ 16:54:13

    Hello Neecy, I have not been on your blog lately. Busy with enjoying life, improving my skills, and becoming financially strong. I’m a follower in the belief of low technology. I avoid toxic news in any shape or form. Never catch me on facebook and other social media. Personally I consider myself a tree that trim its branches as needed to promote growth. Just turn forty-six and planning for my future. Saw your picture and you look amazing, self-care is evident. Please continued to put yourself first. Also thank you the thoughtful information you shared with me. Thank you Dorian.



  12. Brown Sista (@BrownSista)
    Mar 13, 2017 @ 02:48:23

    Do not start a new blog. This is the mistake a lot of bloggers make and end up losing their overall online presence. This blog has a name. Continue to build on it. Change the focus if you must, but keep this little brand you’ve created for yourself.



  13. cediblog
    Mar 13, 2017 @ 07:33:34

    Hi Neecy . this is just my opinion, whether you decide to take the present blog in a different direction, or if you decide to start a new blog,. Both ways will display a new beginning for you. The present blog taken in a different direction, would show your transformation more., because it would show where you and the rest of us were and how we transformed into a different direction. If a new blog is formed a new individual may or not see that. Both scenarios have both pros and cons.

    Once again this is just a suggestion on my part, but you may want to ask yourself what is the best for Neecy?, what would make me Neecy happy?, what is in me Neecys best interest? This is about self preservation and the best way to approach this decision for yourself.

    I personally will still frequent your blog, whether you expand on it or make a new one. The decision is yours. Neecy decide on what YOU personally want to do with the blogs, stand by your decision and everything will turn out fine.




  14. Brown Sista (@BrownSista)
    Mar 13, 2017 @ 12:18:22

    Also, go purchase your neecysnest domain names. Get the three top ones: .com, .net, and .org. Do it before you approve my comment also or someone may read it and buy them from under you, copy your content and make goo-gobs of money off your work. You may not know it, but your blog is already a brand and you need to protect it. Read up on what happened to the black girl who coined the term fleek and Ed Lover who coined c’mon son.



    • Neecy
      Mar 15, 2017 @ 21:51:32

      THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I did just that and bought domains for this blog name. I appreciate you reminding me how important it was to do that. MUAH!



  15. Neecy
    Mar 15, 2017 @ 21:52:58

    OK everyone so I decided to build upon this blog for now as I have bought domains for it so once I connect them you will be able to access Neecy’s Nest thourgh .com or .net. Thanks to Brown Sista for reminding me 🙂

    I appreciate everyone’s input and look forward to my new post which some be coming by Friday or Saturday.



  16. Formavitae
    Mar 17, 2017 @ 16:47:23

    Hi, Neecy.

    I wanted to tell you, you look BEAUTIFUL! Your MAKEUP looks great (especially, the eyes), and I LOVE YOUR HAIR!

    I’M GLAD you cannot relate to much of the drama and negative experiences many other BW/girls unfortunately endure. You’ve always struck me as a “fun-loving”, “girlie-girl” type. So, I’m glad to hear that you are embracing it and redirecting focus to what makes YOU happy.

    Sounds like you’re “going full circle”, to me. My best friend has gone “full circle”. And, I feel that I am as well.

    I wish you THE GREATEST HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT on your journey!



    • Formavitae
      Mar 17, 2017 @ 17:06:38

      You know, one meaning for the word “forma”, in Latin, is “beauty”. And, one meaning of the word “vitae” is “of life”. I put that together YEARS ago, when I first started studying Latin. (I think it should probably be “formaevitae”. Oh well.)

      Anyway, I TOO am one who appreciates LIFE, HAPPINESS, and BEAUTY.



  17. Cali1
    Mar 29, 2017 @ 19:25:38

    I totally understand! Thank goodness is doesn’t hit my Facebook when I’m on it lurking, but some of these stories and situations. I’m surprised sometimes but on the the other hand it’s not me and not my problem. I’m super happy for the new direction. Big fan



  18. phoebeprunelle
    Jul 09, 2017 @ 17:02:35

    Well, buttercup, do mean carefree as in childfree, traveling, enjoying her career or if she doesn’t, having the will to change it? Do you mean deciding to get out of bed late Friday night to go to a Midnight Movie/double feature? Do you mean shopping at Hot Topic, LOFT, Charming Charlie, etc.??? Do you mean being open to dating the Rainbeau, but recognizing when dating is emotionally draining and pulling herself back for a few months to regroup and figure out how to play the field in a fresh and exciting way? And when she does, she is a lone wolf–not forsaking her best girlfriends but knowing when she wants to meet someone, she’d better go it alone for the night or trip? Do you mean not giving a darn what folks think about your lifestyle especially other black folks who chose to play by the rules set forth by Blackistan? If so, I’d love to follow and subscribe to you!
    P.S.–all those things apply to me.

    Liked by 1 person


  19. selfreslponsibility
    Jan 03, 2018 @ 07:05:34

    Hello Ms.Neecy I have not been on this site for almost a year. I was wondering if you are still going to do a new website. in addition to all you lovely ladies i hope you all are doing well.

    LUV YA



  20. forward thinking black female
    Jan 14, 2018 @ 19:30:52

    To Neecy i have been reading over and over again your article in 2013 tilted “the black womans guide to living well”. I stumbled up on it in late 2017 You summed it all up in that article > I am unsure if you have started a new blog or if you are still writing. But in my opinion you said it all in that article, I am unsure if there is anything else for you to say, because it was so well written. The article is helping me so much in my final chapter of self healing. i am going in my own direction now, but I thank you so much once again because your articles were needed at that time in my life, and they were self healing.. Which is why self responsibility is my new handle



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