OMG HI YALL!!!
Happy New? Year?! EGADS I am soooo sorry and late.
Yes I know I know, I go off on these long hiatuses and it’s a little bad on my part but I’ve been trying to figure out where I want to go with this blog and the next step. Sometimes you have to sit back and just let things come to you as they will and yes in this case it took 3 months.
So here is what I have decided. I’m going to keep this blog up. I think it shows the change and growth I’ve gone through over the last several years. It first started off as a personal page just with my own ramblings on my life that I wanted to share. Then somehow it turned into a site that focused on helping a segment of men understand women and dating in general. Then it turned into a sort of BWE site with PRO IR messaging , then it went from that to a general site for Black women and Progressive BW’s issues.
NOW? Yes I’m changing again. Change is good. I think it represents the reality that people and ideas are constantly shifting and hopefully for the better – at least for their lives.
I tend to be very intuitive and so when the shift start stirring inside of me I go with it.
So now I am contemplating on whether or not I change to my new “venture” on this blog or create a separate blog (which I already have but I’m too lazy to build it at this moment).
I’m thinking a new fresh blog with my new ideas is probably best. But then I have changed the theme and purpose of Neecy’s Nest so many times why not do it again? At least I have a timeline and history of where I am at now.
I know many of you are not religious or don’t necessarily believe in religion or God and I respect that. But I Do and so, I have to say that I have had a very clear epiphany from above. I constantly pray for awakening and for God to lead me in the direction that will benefit me and my passions the most and while I feel I don’t always get the answer right away, I have to say this year is a year of awakening and change for me.
I have *FINALLY* shed an issue I dealt with for 9 years and cold turkey just freed myself from it. No desire AT ALL to look back or go back. And it took 9 years to get to this place and it feels so good. I finally feel I am getting a do over for myself – yes at 43!
With that comes a clear vision for my future, goals and passions and now I can fully focus on those now that the other distraction has left the building FOR GOOD.
I also joined Facebook and actively participated mid last year. I’ve had some serious discoveries since doing so. Not all great and frankly how Facebook has opened my eyes to a lot of things I am not so comfortable with in terms of Black women as a collective and the subset of “progressive BW” (if you will). I’ll get into that later. BUT the point is this year many changes are happening in my life and they are happening early on.
One is the blog and my next move.
I am definitely looking to thin the herd. Meaning, I’m looking for an audience of BW with a certain mindset and goals that goes beyond what I have been discussing on this blog the last several years.
I am looking for a very RARE kind of BW as my audience and that is who and how I will be speaking on this new endeavor.
I’m looking for the truly carefree Black girl/woman. Deep inside of me that is who I am to my core. I am generally a happy well-adjusted woman who loves life. I have my ups and downs of course like all others, but even in stressful uncertain times, I manage to get back to a happy place.
I am to my core Carefree, free thinking, complex, intuitive and practical. I often don’t embrace these things about myself as I should because a flaw of mine is to get “caught up” in things that take me away from my original purpose. I’m easily distracted and I can admit this about myself.
And this is my goal for improvement this year. Not get taken away by distractions and recognize them for what they are, recognize them ahead of time so I can avoid them and keep my sanity and my true self at the fore front.
I was a carefree little Black girl. I grew up with hardly any of the typical pains and struggles that many BW have faced. I don’t know about sexual assault personally. I have two great parents. I was sheltered and grew up loved. I didn’t experience personally a lot of the pitfalls of Blackistan. I generally had a great carefree life. I don’t have much pain or suffering to report personally. I just don’t. I know there are lots more BW out there like this, but they are not as vocal online because they are out living carefree lives.
I haven’t been doing so – at least not to the level that I should have been. But as I said, I had an issue I dealt with for 9 years that kept me distracted and off my path. And now I’m getting back on after almost a decade. That’s life, you roll with it and I’m glad I still have time left to still live a relatively happy care free life.
SO the question is, HOW or WHY did I get caught up in the BWE message, the PRO IR message and finally the Progressive BW message? I became angry at seeing how OTHER BW were affected by many things in the world. I wanted to encourage them to change and seek their best lives. But I think I got away from part of myself. I think I got distracted by others personal plights and become very obsessed with this idea that I wanted to help BW overcome the issues affecting them in general.
I’m honestly exhausted and stressed. Mainly because I realize a lot of BW don’t want or know how to change for the better. I realize that for many Blacks in general (both male and female) victimhood is just a rites of passage and anything to get them out of such (such as self-reflection etc.) is futile and will exhaust you if you try to get them to see the light.
I’m TI RED!
I didn’t think to go about it a different way that spoke to me and my personal experiences. I’m not discounting anything. I’m saying I’m not so sure the route I chose was the best route. Because now what I am seeing is a big lie. A lot of BW saying but not really doing. And I realize the BW living and walking the walk are literally doing just that. They aren’t online pondering this stuff. They’ve figured it out and have managed to successfully be progressive without having to read about it, participate on blogs and forums to direct them on how to do such. BW like me. But the difference is, they didn’t get distracted like I did. They JUST DID IT!
So now. She is my target. BW like *ME*. Truly carefree and baggage free. Truly embracing life. The good, bad and ugly. Calling it out when necessary but still flowing through life regardless of the obstacles. A woman of Faith. A woman with some sort of spirituality (not necessarily religion but some sort of spirituality). A woman who understands the Universe and how to pull the things from it to benefit her. A BW fearlessly living according to her standards ALONE no matter how uncomfortable it makes others.
BW who are unapologetic about loving life. BW free from typical dysfunctions. BW free from colorism issues. BW free from pettiness. BW free from indoctrinated thinking. BW free from anger. BW free from being confrontational. BW free from hurt and BW who simply DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR TEARS.
I’m 43. I aint got time for tears or anymore distractions that keep my sanity challenged and my head about to explode. And if you are well under my age NEITHER DO YOU.
I’m going to still speak my peace on topics. But they will hopefully enlighten rather than enrage. Hopefully I can discuss things that most BW fear discussing. Hopefully I can create topics that get you thinking outside the box.
This is my new mission and goal.
So I’m looking for a PRINCESS MINDSET. When You think of a Princess what do you think of? I tend to first ROYALTY, DISTINGUISHED, PRIZED, CAREFREE, WELL TAKEN CARE OF, LOVED, FEMININE, KIND, SPOILED, a TREASURE and WORTHY.
It sounds silly, but this is often my mindset on how I expect to flow through this life. And the weird thing is, all those things I can provide initially for myself and can attract those who will also be willing to acknowledge my worth and purpose as Neecy and a woman.
It’s late and I am rambling and gonna end on this note. I won’t be distracted anymore. I will embrace my core self and personal values as a BW and I will accept that a lot of BW simply can’t get to this place nor do they want to.
If you are ready to let go of the baggage, the anger, the excuses, the frustrations, then please stay here and see where this new idea takes you. If not. I understand.
I’m done with the anger and fighting. I’m done. It’s time to truly be carefree and yes at 43 I’m feeling this is my time to embrace my whole self as I am and not take on other people’s struggles, pain, frustrations, obstacles, worries, fights, etc.
I feel like I’ve lost my vitality in life and its time to get errr back.