RACSIM, SEXISM & BLACK WOMEN: We are not “all in this together” as they continue to GASLIGHT you into believing

I see it daily. Multiple times a day on my Facebook newsfeed and in the news. BW and Black girls being publicly, privately violated by any and everyone. BW and girls being killed incessantly by Black males and the men in their lives. BW and girls constantly being subjected to micro aggressions by mediocre Non Blacks who need a punching bag beneath them to feel superior. Black women and girls being subjected to vicious attacks for simply trying to live like all others.

I could go on.


Remember. This society, specifically AMERICAN society today is filled with mediocre folks who continue to get away with their mediocrity by having someone beneath them (an un protected class i.e punching bag of society).

When Mediocre and below average BM feel insecure and unaccomplished – they target BW.

When mediocre and below average WW can’t measure up in many ways – they target BW with racist attacks and racist micro-aggressions.

When mediocre and below average White males don’t measure up in many ways – they target BW and girls.

The list goes on.

Misogynoir is real – and it affects BW ONLY.

You see BW have dealt with so much targeted racism and sexism for EVERYONE, that someone actually had to create a term that separates our experiences from all others:


Black women and girls today are seeing in great depth, thanks to social media and being able to share incidents, that we are un-protected with no allies. Black women are failed FIRST by their immediate families. SECOND other BW. THIRD – Black males. FOURTH – the black community, and FIFTH – society.

When society as a whole finds a vulnerable uncared for group whose own doesn’t uplift, promote & protect, the mediocre losers, sociopaths, narcissists, misogynists, racists in society will prey on these vulnerable persons.

American BW for the longest have been going at it alone. This is nothing new and better believe folks who need a punching bag are watching and understanding WHO they can violate and pretty much go unscathed for doing such.

People are aware that when you are fighting alone, you have no protection and no one to stand up for you and inflict punishment. This is why WW and White and non Black girls will rarely if ever be as violated, disrespected and hated as BW and girls. Because their families, MEN, communities have FIRST set the standard for their treatment. All others know any violations against the women in protected groups come with a serious consequence and cost.


Unfortunately, BW and girls are failed first and foremost by their families who continue to see the value in their SONS and BOYS first, foremost and always, and who continue to perpetuate the SEXISM that starts early in a Black girls life. As a result, Black men and boys are also socialized to see BW as saviors of themselves and everyone else including them.

Predatory males in the black community understand this as well and act accordingly. Hence why 60% of BW are sexually violated before the age of 18. SEXISM. Hence why 40% of sex trafficked victims in the USA are BW and girls. Hence why close to 80% of Black children are raised in single parent homes with women doing all the child rearing due to male abandonment.

That’s why when we see the numerous videos of Black women and girls being assaulted publicly by other races of men, BM stand around and record and do nothing. They leave the BW to fend for herself. And the world watches.


The Strong BW anthem is just one factor as to why BW are constantly seen going at it alone. We for decades played into the sexist ideals that BW are proud workhorses for everyone. Proud saviors of everyone. Proud mammies who will ignore our own plights to uplift and promote all others irregardless of reciprocation. And we played that role well.

Now the chickens have come to roost for BW and girls. That mantra has left us wide open for being violated, mistreated, unprotected and maligned by EVERYONE. Including the majority of BW who have their heads so far up the BMs asshole that they refuse to even see they are losing and losing BADLY. They will sacrifice and throw another BW and girl under the bus to save a BM and anyone else.

I have seen too much. I am disconcerted by the open and public violations of BW and girls. From the physical assaults, to the marginalizing for being Black and women.

The fact is BW are fighting against 2 major obstacles – RACISM and SEXSIM. We refuse to acknowledge how sexism promotes the racism in greater society. That is because women are already vulnerable members of society no matter their race. When you have a vulnerable group who is protected and one who is not, it becomes open season on the un protected.


So in these times we have Loser men in all races. Racist women and men who don’t measure up in life so they target the vulnerable BW. Abusive men who hate women. When these men cannot inflict their rage, hate and anger on protected classes of women out of fear of punishment, they will find another vulnerable group that has no protectors. Who they can unleash their dysfunctional and toxic masculinity on and be supported for doing such. You don’t agree?

Just look at the numerous videos daily of men of all races publicly violated and assaulting BW and girls. Its in the air. Its well known that we are un protected. But that’s not the scariest part of all!

The scariest part of BW and girls being publicly and privately violated and assaulted is the reactions by those in general society that support these acts of violence against BW and girls. In any video of a BW or young Black girl being assaulted, the comments beneath such incidences speak to the reality that BW and girls are hated and have no allies. The scariest and most disheartening of all is, you will find many comments from other BM and BW supporting the assault and abuse of such BW and girls.

I recently saw a video in which a 51 year old 6 foot something 250 lb. White male punched and knocked out a 90lb. 12 year old unruly Black girl. The fact a grown male felt absolutely justified on knocking out a child who could do no physical damage to him if she tried was not just the only disgusting part.

BUT the comments under the video on all the news outlets that followed was even more disgusting & TELLING! I could count on hand the comments saying how this was just wrong. But I could not keep up with the thousands of likes and comments under people of all races, genders (INCLUDING BLACK), and political affiliations (better believe Liberals hate you too BW) who justified this young girls brutal assault by a grown male.

You see, BW and Black girls have to be perfect victims to even get a SLIGHT benefit of the doubt. Even then it still rarely is given or its ignored altogether. Meanwhile all other groups no matter what they are doing (including Black males) will always get justice based on being violated. BW and girls get no such treatment. The first thing people jump to is what did the BW or girl do to cause them to be violated. Consequently, BM do not get the same treatment.

A BM could be robbing a store or sitting in a library minding his business. But if he is accosted and violated by anyone or cops, what he was doing doesn’t matter to the masses. Its never in the discussions. Its the fact he was violated for being an “easy target” by being Black.

A grown White male punching and knocking out a 12 year old Black male would have had marches and all kinds of protests. No matter what the young black male was doing. But Black girls get no such benefits of doubt, no such protections.


So fuck that WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER Bullshit that the Black community and BM like to spew when it comes to Racism.

Fuck that WE ARE ALL INTHIS TOGETHER bullshit that Non BW like to spew during their Women’s marches etc.

BW haven’t yet realized all the Social Justice Warrior shit they participate in ISN’T FOR THEM. It’S not for better treatment of BW and girls. Its for BLACK MEN ONLY. Its for NON BW! You are out fighting battles for others to win while you stay losing! And you stay losing because you do not demand reciprocation and will still blatantly follow behind these social justice movements despite not gaining any ground for yourself as a BW or BW collectively.

Black men only care about racism because it affects them. White women only care abut sexism because it affects them to a degree. They are not fighting for your rights as a BW to live free of these obstacles but for themselves. In fact, you are a bigger threat to them than DA WHITE MAN who they still respect and protect when necessary. YEP. When BW start bypassing these mediocre groups who are only getting by, by their skin color or gender, they start seeing themselves for what they really are. And they can’t have that. They cannot have BW bettering themselves.

The proof is in how they respond when BW and girls are being violated, assaulted. Look at how they respond to your suffering!

It is past time for BW and girls to stop giving a fuck about everyone else and to start taking care of our own. And when I say “OUR OWN” that doesn’t include all BW either. Most BW are just as dangerous and neglectful to BW and girls as all others are. They are the first line of defense that breaks down when their precious Black male sons, husbands and general Black male population needs a whipping boy. They will offer up their daughters, sisters, cousins and other BW to stay in the good graces of the predatory Black males in their lives and in general.

You MUST find your tribe of BW who GET.IT.

You MUST stop caring about all others except yourself. Let go of that BS moral code and recognize that your fighting and caring for others who have never returned the favor keeps you in losing position and as the “whipping boy” and “punching bag” to their insecurities, issues, mediocrity.


Leave these groups to fend for themselves and fight their own battles.

Black women MUST:
Find your tribe OF BLACK WOMEN, Love them hard, and BUILD EMPIRES. Because that is what everyone else is doing at YOUR EXPENSE.



Merry Christmas all! I probably don’t have anymore followers since I haven’t posted in over a year 🤭

But if you’re still following please give me a shout out because I’m going to start blogging again for 2019.

im going to do my first post later today 🤗🤗🤗




Happy New? Year?! EGADS I am soooo sorry and late.


Yes I know I know, I go off on these long hiatuses and it’s a little bad on my part but I’ve been trying to figure out where I want to go with this blog and the next step. Sometimes you have to sit back and just let things come to you as they will and yes in this case it took 3 months.


So here is what I have decided. I’m going to keep this blog up. I think it shows the change and growth I’ve gone through over the last several years. It first started off as a personal page just with my own ramblings on my life that I wanted to share. Then somehow it turned into a site that focused on helping a segment of men understand women and dating in general. Then it turned into a sort of BWE site with PRO IR messaging , then it went from that to a general site for Black women and Progressive BW’s issues.


NOW? Yes I’m changing again. Change is good. I think it represents the reality that people and ideas are constantly shifting and hopefully for the better – at least for their lives.


I tend to be very intuitive and so when the shift start stirring inside of me I go with it.


So now I am contemplating on whether or not I change to my new “venture” on this blog or create a separate blog (which I already have but I’m too lazy to build it at this moment).


I’m thinking a new fresh blog with my new ideas is probably best. But then I have changed the theme and purpose of Neecy’s Nest so many times why not do it again? At least I have a timeline and history of where I am at now.


I know many of you are not religious or don’t necessarily believe in religion or God and I respect that. But I Do and so, I have to say that I have had a very clear epiphany from above. I constantly pray for awakening and for God to lead me in the direction that will benefit me and my passions the most and while I feel I don’t always get the answer right away, I have to say this year is a year of awakening and change for me.


I have *FINALLY* shed an issue I dealt with for 9 years and cold turkey just freed myself from it. No desire AT ALL to look back or go back. And it took 9 years to get to this place and it feels so good. I finally feel I am getting a do over for myself – yes at 43!


With that comes a clear vision for my future, goals and passions and now I can fully focus on those now that the other distraction has left the building FOR GOOD.


I also joined Facebook and actively participated mid last year. I’ve had some serious discoveries since doing so. Not all great and frankly how Facebook has opened my eyes to a lot of things I am not so comfortable with in terms of Black women as a collective and the subset of “progressive BW” (if you will). I’ll get into that later. BUT the point is this year many changes are happening in my life and they are happening early on.


One is the blog and my next move.


I am definitely looking to thin the herd. Meaning, I’m looking for an audience of BW with a certain mindset and goals that goes beyond what I have been discussing on this blog the last several years.


I am looking for a very RARE kind of BW as my audience and that is who and how I will be speaking on this new endeavor.

I’m looking for the truly carefree Black girl/woman. Deep inside of me that is who I am to my core. I am generally a happy well-adjusted woman who loves life. I have my ups and downs of course like all others, but even in stressful uncertain times, I manage to get back to a happy place.


I am to my core Carefree, free thinking, complex, intuitive and practical. I often don’t embrace these things about myself as I should because a flaw of mine is to get “caught up” in things that take me away from my original purpose. I’m easily distracted and I can admit this about myself.


And this is my goal for improvement this year. Not get taken away by distractions and recognize them for what they are, recognize them ahead of time so I can avoid them and keep my sanity and my true self at the fore front.


I was a carefree little Black girl. I grew up with hardly any of the typical pains and struggles that many BW have faced. I don’t know about sexual assault personally. I have two great parents. I was sheltered and grew up loved. I didn’t experience personally a lot of the pitfalls of Blackistan. I generally had a great carefree life. I don’t have much pain or suffering to report personally. I just don’t. I know there are lots more BW out there like this, but they are not as vocal online because they are out living carefree lives.


I haven’t been doing so – at least not to the level that I should have been. But as I said, I had an issue I dealt with for 9 years that kept me distracted and off my path. And now I’m getting back on after almost a decade. That’s life, you roll with it and I’m glad I still have time left to still live a relatively happy care free life.


SO the question is, HOW or WHY did I get caught up in the BWE message, the PRO IR message and finally the Progressive BW message? I became angry at seeing how OTHER BW were affected by many things in the world. I wanted to encourage them to change and seek their best lives. But I think I got away from part of myself. I think I got distracted by others personal plights and become very obsessed with this idea that I wanted to help BW overcome the issues affecting them in general.


I’m honestly exhausted and stressed. Mainly because I realize a lot of BW don’t want or know how to change for the better. I realize that for many Blacks in general (both male and female) victimhood is just a rites of passage and anything to get them out of such (such as self-reflection etc.) is futile and will exhaust you if you try to get them to see the light.




I didn’t think to go about it a different way that spoke to me and my personal experiences. I’m not discounting anything. I’m saying I’m not so sure the route I chose was the best route. Because now what I am seeing is a big lie. A lot of BW saying but not really doing. And I realize the BW living and walking the walk are literally doing just that. They aren’t online pondering this stuff. They’ve figured it out and have managed to successfully be progressive without having to read about it, participate on blogs and forums to direct them on how to do such. BW like me. But the difference is, they didn’t get distracted like I did. They JUST DID IT!


So now. She is my target. BW like *ME*. Truly carefree and baggage free. Truly embracing life. The good, bad and ugly. Calling it out when necessary but still flowing through life regardless of the obstacles. A woman of Faith. A woman with some sort of spirituality (not necessarily religion but some sort of spirituality). A woman who understands the Universe and how to pull the things from it to benefit her. A BW fearlessly living according to her standards ALONE no matter how uncomfortable it makes others.


BW who are unapologetic about loving life. BW free from typical dysfunctions. BW free from colorism issues. BW free from pettiness. BW free from indoctrinated thinking. BW free from anger. BW free from being confrontational. BW free from hurt and BW who simply DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR TEARS.


I’m 43. I aint got time for tears or anymore distractions that keep my sanity challenged and my head about to explode. And if you are well under my age NEITHER DO YOU.


I’m going to still speak my peace on topics. But they will hopefully enlighten rather than enrage. Hopefully I can discuss things that most BW fear discussing. Hopefully I can create topics that get you thinking outside the box.


This is my new mission and goal.


So I’m looking for a PRINCESS MINDSET. When You think of a Princess what do you think of? I tend to first ROYALTY, DISTINGUISHED, PRIZED, CAREFREE, WELL TAKEN CARE OF, LOVED, FEMININE, KIND, SPOILED, a TREASURE and WORTHY.


It sounds silly, but this is often my mindset on how I expect to flow through this life. And the weird thing is, all those things I can provide initially for myself and can attract those who will also be willing to acknowledge my worth and purpose as Neecy and a woman.


It’s late and I am rambling and gonna end on this note. I won’t be distracted anymore. I will embrace my core self and personal values as a BW and I will accept that a lot of BW simply can’t get to this place nor do they want to.


If you are ready to let go of the baggage, the anger, the excuses, the frustrations, then please stay here and see where this new idea takes you. If not. I understand.


I’m done with the anger and fighting. I’m done. It’s time to truly be carefree and yes at 43 I’m feeling this is my time to embrace my whole self as I am and not take on other people’s struggles, pain, frustrations, obstacles, worries, fights, etc.


I feel like I’ve lost my vitality in life and its time to get errr back.



Stay tuned…….


LOL 53% WHITE WOMEN Gave Hillary the BIG middle finger and 94% of BW gave her the vote

Hispanic women gave Trump 26% of votes.

*for some reason I cannot upload the link to the CNN exit polls but you can find it on their site*


BW = 4% , BM = 13%, WM = 63% , WW = 54%, Latinas = 26%, Latino men = 33%


SURPRISE SURPRISE!! *SIGH* So much for the “sisterhood” and standing against outright misogyny eh? LMAO

If you were *EVER* under any impression that WW cared more abut their gender and “womanly rights” or “MISOGYNY” or “black people” and were eager to take down “the evil White male patriarchy” you have just been given INSIDE INFORMATION that, White women will always chose their white skin privilege and support their men who give them that, than gender ANYDAY.

WW are not victims, are not oppressed like they try to claim they are. While they are yelling about how White men make more on the dollar than they do (as women), they stay quiet about how they as WW make more on the dollar than EVERYONE ELSE (except WM). LOL They deep down support this system of oppression, racism and EVEN SEXISM just to keep that White privilege they have and to keep it in power.

So now can we stop with the “sisterhood” act, and move about the cabin accordingly now we have ACTUAL living proof they don’t *really* care as much for dismantling patriarchy as they claim?

If they voted against a BW running for President, I wouldn’t be so shocked. But DAYUM they voted against another *WHITE WOMAN*. LOL

I mean I aint mad at them for showing their true colors. Everyone is gonna do what is in their best interest right? Ok maybe not all people *cough* Black women *cough*.


The thing that irks me about this revelation is more so how certain BW continue to allow NON Black women to come into our spaces and *TRY* to make us believe “we are all in this together as women”. In many instances on social media etc., if BW are talking about issues that affect us as women, NON BW will jump in and try to turn the discussion into a “ALL WOMEN” discussion. The smarter of us already know its BS, but you still have a lot of BW who still play into that BS.

Anyway, moving forward, now BW have the actual receipts to show as to why we are not and never will be in the same boat as WW and why we need to stop allowing them to try and align themselves with us on gender issues. WW have the privilege to choose the ultimate benefit for their survival and this is their WHITENESS. And when that WHITENESS is threatened, they will put all other “concerns” (gender, kumbaya diversity loving, BLACK MAN SEX LOVING *ouch Neecy, that last one was petty and savage of you* ) stuff on the back burner.


Look at one point I did think about voting Trump. But then as I saw more and more of the types of people he was courting, I finalized that I couldn’t vote for him. I stood with him on immigration issues. That’s it. I started realizing that Trump was a beacon of hope for a very large amount of non Blacks (WHITES MAINLY) who deep down want things to go back to the way they were (i.e. the slogan “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN) when they could do and say anything they wanted against minorities and women and suffer very little consequences, if any.

I think the course of the last several years has shown that, a great deal of Americans still are as racist as their ancestors. America has a very large swath of Non Blacks and Whites who want to be able to be freely racist without contempt, conscious or consequence. And I settled that a vote for TRUMP who epitomizes this, would be in support of that, which I could not bring myself to do.

I said I wasn’t going to vote for Hillary some months ago. At the end, I really wanted to vote Jill Stein the Independent party because I liked NEITHER Clinton nor Trump, but I still gave Hillary the vote more so to vote against what TRUMP supporters stand for.

I did my part in terms of voting against a bigot and a horrible misogynist.


While I do think BW partly voted less of evils in being the 94% to give her support, it still says a lot about *US* and loyalty.

I’m not saying whether its good or bad but it is what it is. And at the end of the day when all the shit hits the fan in regards to women’s rights and the disaster ahead that women face as a result of this election, BW can show the receipts that we *AT LEAST* tried to support another woman (even though we didn’t like her that much) but we stood in solidarity with a WOMAN over a bigot and sexist.

And when WW and Non Black women who gave a lot of their votes to a sexist, misogynist and bigot start complaining about the loss of women’s rights, they’ll have no one to blame but themselves. They cannot claim “we are all in this together” because BW have receipts that they voted against a sexist and bigot while over half of them helped put him in office already knowing what he stood for.


Like minded BW should continue mobilizing. Just like most White Americans last night mobilized to keep White privilege in power, BW need to mobilize in the same way.

There is truth to the saying “together we stand, divided we fall”. It was Whites who made that statement and they live by it when they feel Whiteness and the privilege that come with it are being threatened.

BW can stand to take a page out of the book of those who *STAY* looking out for their best interest (yet giving BS lip service to make you think otherwise).

Pampering yourself is SOOO important as a BW.

Per Cedi, she requested that I do more posts on pampering and taking care of yourself as a BW.

We as BW live in a very harsh world that tends to try to break us down from head to toe, and seeks to suck our mind, body and spirit dry.

Well not this sista! I won’t lie and say that when I see and read the things affecting the BW collective it doesn’t bother me or get to me. But I have ways and things I do in my life to help me deal with any kind of stress or “traumas” from daily life that bring me back to a place of peace.

I think self care is a very important topic because BW are constantly giving and doing for everyone and always seem to neglect ourselves. Rarely do we get reciprocation from those we sacrifice everything for. SO I would advise many BW to get it where she can even if she has to pay for it.

I am very big on pampering myself and I have monthly and bi weekly “rituals” of pampering that I have been doing consistently for the last year and a half.

First. I get massages every 2 weeks. Luckily I found a great massage therapist that works in a chiropractic office and the massages are very reasonable. But she is also EXCELLENT. I don’t know if I can ever pay over $100 at a spa where I know I will not get the same type of massage that I get at my massage therapists. I pay $75 and that includes tip. They just started a package deal where you get a $50 break on one session. This is good for the body, mind and spirit.

Second. I get facials every 4 weeks CONSISTENTLY. I happen to have found a great skin care lady who is Ukranian and she has a skincare spa. Once again I pay a very reasonable price for excellent facials. She has all kinds of awesome facials. I also get microdermabrasion as well. I can get two types of treatments for under $150 or just one treatment from $100-115. SO worth it.

Third. I have a fitness trainer I go to 3 times a week, every week.

Fourth. I get a mani/pedi like clockwork every 2 weeks.

These are the things that I have made a staple in my life and they help so much with me feeling and even looking my best. I pray there will never be a day that I have to give up any of these things because I realize how important they are to my mind, body, spirit.

I want to start getting into meditation as I have heard that is great for clearing the clutter in your head. I tend to get very overwhelmed with a lot in my life and I feel meditation would help tremendously. I just have to find a place/person that can teach me how to do this. So that is what I all be looking into next.

What are some of the things that you ladies do to feel and look your best?

Move along nothing to see here but more BM hating BW dysfunction: My thoughts on Surviving Compton The Michel’le story

ADDENDUM: Added link to youtube if you want to watch it.

So I watched the Surviving Compton Biopic from Michel’le who was previously involved professionally and intimately with Dr. Dre and who had a child with him in the process. She was also (falsely) married to Suge Knight and also had a child with him.

So I am not shocked by a lot of things in depicted in this story. Here are a list of things I found PAR for the Course with Black men and how they treat un ambiguous Black women and how Black women stick around withstanding abuse because they feel its their lot in life. So here are a list of things I wasn’t shocked, surprised about and I will go into detail on my thoughts on some of these things.

  1. Her atypical MAMMY Black mother/grandmother raising her to believe that abuse is something she should accept and overlook from a man. Something she should overlook for the “benefit” of the relationship and other “things” she may be getting from that “relationship”. By the time her mammy ass grandmother realized the shit wasn’t right, Michel’le was much older, had already been in two abusive relationships, rehab and had nothing to show for. SMH

(2) The fact that her mother/grandmother did nothing to guide her in the right direction (at such a young age) and away from DBR toxic BM like Dr. Dre who had already had SEVERAL children by other women while Michel’le was dating and working with him. Instead the grandmother made an off handed comment about him never coming in to meet her and the comment “any man who sleeps in a car has got a baby somewhere”. THE FK?

(3) The fact that she didn’t get paid for her work in the beginning and just accepted that.

(4) The White manager Jerry Heller was always nicest to her and treated her better than Dre or any other BM in her surroundings.

(5) The fact she endured all his abuse and toxicness and still never got a ring or married, while he made an “honest woman” out of a non Black woman.

(6) The fact she still had an OOW baby with him.

(7) The fact that when he did decide to marry and act right he wifed up a non Black woman who ultimately has and will benefit from his come up, and that the only thing the un ambiguous BW (Michel’le )was left with was being the ABUSED struggle Black chick left with an OOW baby, abuse, stress and drama and the new non BW *WIFE* has only but the celebrations under her name and experience with him.

(8) She was tricked by her new thuggish imprisoned man Suge Knight to take care of his business, put her life on hold and visit him every damn week in prison for 5 years only to find out he fucked her over by putting all kinds of financial burdens of his in her name, lying to her making her believe *SHE* was married to him when in fact he was still married to his first wife, endured abuse (he broke her jaw) and still had a baby with him.

Once again ladies, we see how the un ambiguous Black girl will always be left with nothing but struggle, pain, and OOW baby and bad memories from her relationship with the average BM. And after that BM has put her through all the abuse, stress, pain and babies, he will go off and marry a Non Black woman who will most likely never experience those things from him, who gets the ring and wife status and FINANCIAL BENEFITS once he has made it and gets to enjoy all the celebratory things that come with being with a successful man who built his empire off the backs of BW who he used and abused to get to where he is.

If you look at his Behind The Music (which I will link from Youtube) start at 39:00 you get to see his wife acting like she married some SAINT without a past of abusing women, leaving litter of kids behind and when you look at what he put Michele’le though and how he horribly beat a BW journalist (Dee Barnes) this Non Black woman got all the benefits of his “new maturity” and success, its very clear that BM HATE BW to their core and once they can “escape” to other women they become more content and less violent and more willing to act like upstanding HUSBANDS and FATHERS.

Y’all please go to the link and watch how she talks about him “my husband is so strong” “When he’s at home he is just “POP”. Its sickening. Bitch please! You married an abusive bm who got rich off exploiting his women and community. Just because his self hating ass didn’t abuse you, doesn’t mean you married *well* in the sense of a man with good character. You married a piece of shit misogynist loser with MONEY!

Especially seeing how we all know how he beat and abused BW throughout his career (Dee Barnes and Michel’le are the ones we KNOW of). And this long faced heffa sitting up here acting like she is married to some upstanding aristocrat known for his saintly past. UGH!

There must have been a portion of this version they left out because I remember some years ago when I saw this original Behind the Music, there was a part where she said she told him to go back to doing what he did best when he confronted her about his new “cleaner” music not being as well received as his older music where he talked about violence and called women out.

I remember  on the part where Dr. Dre discusses his departure from Death Row Records and having to basically start all over from scratch financially and professionally creating his own label Aftermath records, he said he tried to make his music cleaner and steer away from the gangster talk and misogynist that he had become famous for and made so much money from.

To his surprise this was not selling. People were not buying into this new image and music without the cursing, gangster rap and calling women out their names.

So he said he went to his wife and discussed this with her. He tells her that he doesn’t know what to do since people are not buying into his “cleaner” music and was contemplating if he should go back to his old music to make money again. But he was concerned about how she would feel about that being a woman and all.

You know what this NonBlack woman said (directly into the camera)? She told him to do what he had to do to make money again and get back out there. And if people wanted to hear that kind of music then give people what they want.

And he said he was shocked at her response, but appreciated her support. And that is what he did, he went back to making toxic music and started making money again.

LMAO. This non Black woman basically gave this BM the ok to continue to keep disrespecting women, exploiting his community etc., just so he could make money again and so she could keep living and eating well.


But for some reason this was not on the Youtube version and seemed to have been taken out of the documentary because it was closer to the 36:00 to 45:00 mark and I just reviewed it and that part isn’t in there. But I swear on MY LIFE she said this because I remember her pink outfit and hair. maybe it was another documentary but I remember vividly her saying this. I wouldn’t just make that up. I have a good memory.


And BW are helping!!!!

These days BW are getting a different wake up call and it aint pretty. All of these successful BM who run off and marry Becky and company, are taking dollars and economics that were supported by BW to these women where they give them the good stress free, abuse free life once they made it.

The women who they are in close proximity to when they are just starting out and trying to make it are BLACK WOMEN. Usually un ambiguous BW. And the reality is, they date, sleep with and make babies with these women because they are LOW HANGING FRUIT to the average BM. And BM abuse these BW because they hate what BW represent to them _ STRUGGLE. And these Bm who are struggling are angry. And they take their anger out on the women in closest proximity to them at that time in their lives – BLACK WOMEN. The only women who want their broke asses.

And when they no longer have to struggle they get the women who represent FREEDOM, PROSPERITY – non BW. That is why so many BM marry out when they get famous or become successful.

YET these Negroes want BW to keep accepting struggle love so they can have pieces of ass while they are trying to make it. They need BW to keep buying into struggle love because they need BW when they are down and out to keep them afloat until they can claw their way to success and get the women who represent FREEDOM, LIGHTHEARTEDNESS, PROSPERITY that comes with Non BW whose men put in the work to treat their women good and make them the image of success.

BW seem to be A OK with being used as a struggle bed filler until their Black Kings make it and no longer need them and decide to “shape up” and clean up their misogynist and abusive ways once they marry the women they deem are not meant to experience THAT LIFE. And those women are NOT BLACK. But these BM have no problems taking the BW’s money to keep his Non Black queens living and eating well. And STOOPID BW are all too willing to keep giving it to them.

Michel’e today is worth a little over 100k. ONE.HUNDRED,THOUSAND.  for all her troubles, abuse, and being used to help push these Negroes forward. 100K!? How much is Dr.  Dre worth? 700 Million. How much is Dre’s Non Black wife Nicole worth? THE SAME. LOL When Dre dies she’ll be worth close to a BILLION.



Sorry long ranting and somewhat judgmental post here. But its because I care so much about the younger generations of BW avoiding this toxic baby momma mess we keep finding ourselves in as BW.

Images matter! And it seems BW are hell bent on making sure our image is always that of single baby momma who “don’t need no man”.

As I have always  talked about on this blog, I’ve stated that while I am SOOOO for BW expanding and dating out, I’m only for the BW who can do it much better than we have been doing in Black on Black relationships in which we just throw caution to the wind, hope for the best when settle for being baby mommas and nothing more.

As we have and other BW writers have discussed, BW are bringing baby momma baggage to the IR arena, further sending the message and image that it doesn’t take much to secure our vaginas and wombs.

How are we going to sit and complain that BM are half the problem and then bring that same problem into another segment that BM have nothing to do with? Who can we blame then?  Are BW the least married because BM refuse to marry or because we REFUSE to demand more for ourselves with any man?

Its easy to blame BM now, but if we bring this baby momma nonsense into the IR arena, who are we going to blame then? NON BM? NON BM who historically  *will* and do marry the women who demand such and who value themselves enough to not just pop out babies for them just cause she wound up preggers.

I mean eventually it will start to show the ones with problem are the ones who keep making these bad decisions to be baby mommas. Are we going to start calling Non BM of these baby momma situations dead beats as well?

Who do you think the world is going to believe? The woman who keeps making horrible decisions REGARDLESS of the race of man or the men? I can tell you in a patriarchal  society the woman (especially the BLACK WOMAN) will always take the blame. And good luck trying to demolish the images of White and Non Black men baby daddies. You think its hard trying to get sympathy for what BM do to BW, think again if you will get it from larger society by blaming the non BM. All society will  do is label BW who can’t make decent choices in men no matter the race and other communities will warn their sons to avoid BW who will “ruin their lives with a baby”.


Because if I were a mother of a son with potential and I saw a segment of a race of women who indiscriminately had children, I would warn my son to avoid those women as to not be tied down for the rest of his life with a child by a woman he may have just been casually dating or having sex with, but not one he has chosen to spend his life with.

I’m telling y’all what will happen if BW do NOT shape up and start making better choices. The blame will FALL ON YOU. BW will be marked and people (healthy parents) will tell their sons of quality to avoid us like the plague because we just have kids and will ruin his life and future.

Call me judgmental. YEP! Everyone gets judged all day everyday for many different reasons.

I want YOUNG generation of BW to do better for themselves. To have a higher value of themselves as women and their bodies. YEP! And if that means dissecting the current crop of BW making these choices then so be it. You can’t improve upon something without examples of what isn’t working.

Its PAINFUL to watch so many BW with potential to secure high quality relationships, stable family units,  to settle for the same ole same ole.

And here we have a beautiful BW actress (who is 36) Tika Sumpter, who is now preggers with a White co stars baby.

Of course she is not married, and I’m even questioning if there is even any or ever  “relationship” other than casual sex they were having due to possibly working together and having some attraction. I say this because usually when people are dating (in NORMAL DATING RELATIONSHIPS) you will see them together in outings and such showing that they are in a relationship.  I mean some kid of mention from either party.

Tika has been in the spotlight as she has secured some popular films (like Ride along) and in all photos of her she is never seen with this baby daddy although she says they were dating for a year and a half. I doubt it. They were most likely SLEEPING TOGETHER and she ended up pregnant. Because like I said, in normal relationships when two people are dating (yes even celebs) you at SOME POINT see them out together.

Like so many BW, we just throw caution to the wind and allow any just any male to claim our wombs with not much commitment if any.

Its a hard pill to swallow and its even harder to watch so many BW make these horrible decisions that just keep setting themselves back.

Never have I seen her or this guy together at any premiers, never have I seen him holding her or her hand, never have I seen him in ANY relationship pictures with her.

One visit to her Instagram and you see NO, NONE, NADA, ZIP, ZERO pics of them together in any loving type photos let alone ANY photos. There are NO photos of him AT ALL! How is this healthy and normal for a pregnant woman to not have showings of the man that supposedly loves her and is going to be the father of her child?

Do y’all see what i am getting at??

Don’t come at me with this “well they want a private relationship”. Whatever! The fact is there is no relationship no matter how she tries to spin it! You don’t have to have boat loads of pics of you and your hunny but one or two just to show the man who loves you and is going to be the father of your child?

You see why we BW stay othered? Most other races of women RELISH in being loved and adored by their S/O and love showing at least something of significance about their relationship even if its just a loving photo of her and her beau together.

Here Tika is all kinds of preggers taking pregger photos and such BY HERSELF holding her own tummy.

Why do women look at pregnancy as just some thing to do. This is a moment when a woman should have a man holding her, showing affection, showing adoration of the life he helped create. I mean come on sistas!

Yet what you will see is the typical “don’t judge live your life the way you want” feel good talk from her and the  scores of confused and lost BW high giving, praising and telling her what a blessing a baby is and do her.

Yes every woman has a right to “do her” and make whatever choices she wishes for her life.

But what BUGS me, is this idea that this is some shit to be celebrated. Young BW look at this nonsense and believe that just having babies with no ring, no commitment is just a “blessing” and her choice. But do they ultimately see the consequence for mom and more so  for BABY growing up in a single parent home with MAYBE a father who decides to be apart of the babies life?

She claims a marriage doesn’t define her relationship. YADA YADA. Relationship? Is there one? I see no pics of them together. He has made no mention of her or his upcoming “bundle of joy” on his social media accounts. This is just some typical BS and I’m tired of BW settling for this!

This is the typical rubbish that baby mommas spew when they realize their relationship with the father is just a casual dating or casual sexual relationship that will not go any further.

When this guys career takes off is he going to marry her? Or will he do like most men do, when they get some coins and success, and run off and marry the woman the world cherishes or the woman who cherishes herself enough to know her worth and make him PROVE he is worthy of her love, respect and LIFE and future child? The latter you better believe it!

Do BW not look at their own communities and see what single parenthood has cultivated in our culture?

its like we just don’t care to make any kind of changes for the better.

Do they not see how these IMAGES MATTER.

But here is the painful and really hard part that so many BW like her face.

She is trying to save face in interviews by saying she wanted to keep him the baby daddy “underwraps” and a secret to avoid judgements etc. yada yada.

WHAT healthy woman in her right mind would not want to be in the presence of the man of her future child? What healthy woman would not want to be shown being loved and adored by the man she is having a child for? What healthy woman would not want the world to see the man who is committed to her and who will be helping her to raise their child?

And this mofo is GOOD LOOKING AT THAT! You better belie if the relationship were on the up and up she’d have shown him off to the world. Nothing wrong with that.

SERIOUSLY! This is the nonsense that BW keep falling for and promoting and praising. And it sends a huge message to the masses that we are unlovable and ok with that. That we don’t care about partnerships, solid relationships and love. That we just settle for having kids and hope and pray for the best with the father.  And another message we are sending is to quality men of the wold who come from families that believe in marriage and commitment is that we are just SIDE CHICKS to be had until he finds a woman “more worthy” to marry and build a family with.

Is this what BW want to be seen as? We are working really hard to ensure this based on our actions and unwillingness to HONESTLY address this issue of baby mommism and how it is NOT A GOOD LOOK or good choice for women who are already struggling with images about their womanhood and worth.

That same ole strong BW “I don’t need no man” tripe that we have been plagued with from the beginning of time!

THIS is painful to watch as a BW. I get it. Many BW who are past prime and who want kids and may not have found husbands or husband like material struggle with wanting biological kids and such. I was one such woman for a minute. But I always stuck to my guns that if I did not find a quality compatible mate to marry me, I’m just going to have to suck it up and say it wasn’t meant for me to have children and life goes on.

Too many BW think selfishly. That because *SHE* wants a baby, then that is all that matters and she will find a man who will give her one by any means necessary whether or not the relationship is even stable or even if the relationship has a solid future to stand on for the child.

This is a LIFE you are bringing into this world! A life you will have to raise mentally and emotionally. It is *NOT* easy for any one to raise a child alone whether you have money and resources or NOT. because raising a child is not simply about money and resources but providing the best emotional and mental stability so they can grow into healthy adults who make the best decisions for their life.

The truth is the reason she kept quiet about it is MOST LIEKLY because they are not together, he has no intentions on marrying her, or he is not all that excited. Of course these are just assumptions on my part. But let’s look at the real tale tale of this.

Most women are all too excited to be seen with and announcing their future child with hubby or baby daddy. No woman wants to *HIDE* who the father of her child is unless there is something not so right in the relationship.

Sometimes I look at sisters and sometimes its like watching a train wreck. What real positive role models do YOUNG up and coming BW have to make the best choices for themselves?

What and who is giving young BW the message that WE ARE VALUABLE and we are more than our vaginas an wombs? And that any man that wants US or a piece of us let a lone a DAMN CHILD from us, will have to prove his worth, his LOVE and adoration for us as a woman before he gets any of this?

Who is telling BW this!?

THIS is what smart savvy women do. They understand their worth and power as women and understand that pro creation is not simply just to be done JUST because.  It should mean we take serious consideration for the child’s well being, future, OUR well being and future.

PICK up a fin RULES BOOK for crying out loud sistas!

I’m just done….




So in light of the recent scandal behind Wells Fargo and how its employees were able to go into customers accounts and move money around to new accounts, to maintain and upkeep high pressured sales goals, I started thinking how easy it is for banks to fraudulently do things with your account and money without you ever knowing.


My question is, what are the other options besides traditional banks.


Does anyone still believe in stashing away cash or is that too risky for a number of reasons?


Remember what happened last year ? or a couple years ago with Greece when they were going through their financial crisis and people were unable to access their money from banks or ATMS. Eventually they were only allowed to take little by little. That is scary that in a time of crisis the money you have in the bank can be unavailable to you.


I am starting to think about holding a certain amount in cash vs putting all my funds in the bank because in an emergency (national one) banks can shut you off from your funds.


I dunno it is just so sad to see the times we are in as a Nation.


We are being KILLED at such high rates its starting to make me think its an epidemic.

I cannot understand why this has not been considered a damn epidemic. Wait who am I fooling, I understand why this is not recognized as a national epidemic that needs to be addressed. The most un-protected group are the victims – that is why. But whose fault is that? Is it because BW seem to only GAF about the Black people with penises the same Black people who are taking them out in great numbers daily?
When you are the most un-protected group and you decide to be the protector of everyone else? What happens? Well the chickens are coming to roost or should I say SLAUGHTER.


Ok so I have been exploring Facebook the last couple of months. I have never been a big Facebook lover. But I decided I would try it out and see what is out there and just to change things up a bit. Normally my social media obsession of choice is Instagram. I like it because I can follow people and things based on my interest and therefore because my interest is beauty and make-up I tend to be very happy when I’m on Instagram.

But the good thing with Facebook is you get to see the social landscape of what and who is occupying the world and our country. you can build friends based on shared interests etc.

But one thing I have really LEARNED (though I knew this but not on the level I do now) is how many young BW are dying EVERYDAY. Literally being MURDERED and KILLED or BEATEN.

Whether its the NUMEROUS stories of young Black girl children being beaten to death and killed by their mother’s boyfriend’s (not the baby’s father but boyfriends) to BW being killed for rejecting the advances of toxic Black males to BW being killed by “association” with low life Bm in their lives to BW just generally being killed by “others” for a number of reasons.

I do not think BW really understand the level of how much this (murder and death by murder) is happening to such a small minority of women in this country.

That leads me to my point – clearly BW can’t see this because we are so busy PROTECTING others who are already protected.

The Univerese gives ample warning by showing, not just telling you what is going on. If you don’t take heed eventually you will reap what you’ve seen.

I’m gonna say this because this is too too scary and happening too too often. The Universe has been trying to tell BW to do some changing by showing us how un-protected and un-loved we are in our own communities and how that seeps into greater society and why we need to stop the caping for the very people hurting us physically, mentally and emotionally. And we do not listen! We continue to fight and sacrifice and act fools for men and a community that has deemed our lives so INVALUABLE that its not even a blip on the radar at the rates in which our young women are being KILLED.

Normal functioning AND PROSPEROUS socities would ring the alarm if there were high numbers of their young women being killed by the men. It would be seen as a national crisis and things would be put in place to STOP and address it!

Not Black folks! We are so busy with our heads so far up the useless Black man’s ass that we can’t even see that this very Black man is taking out young BW at such high rates daily that it should be a national crisis! And Black folks, MAMMIFIED BW and BM are going to pay DEARLY for ignoring this and not doing anything about it.

Between the numbers of BW with half their brain cells FLEEING any and all things Black, black communities and staying away from predatory Black men and the numbers of BW being killed daily by Black men, there will eventually be no more MULES to keep their tired asses afloat.

The Black community IS DONE!

When the women are dying in great numbers at the hands of careless low life men and the community ignores it, you BEST believe their will be a day of reckoning!

Men DO NOT NEED women to fight their battles or protect them from “other men” in a patriarchal society! 

WTF can’t dumb ass BW get this through their thick ass heads! MEN do not need women to fight and protect them. In fact, its those very men who WE need to be protecting ourselves from. MEN are predatory and destructive by NATURE. They kill and destroy and they are the stronger sex physically. Yet you have dumb ass BW out here fighting for DEY SONS and HUSBANDS and BM in general but can’t seem to protect themselves from these very men who are raping, maiming, murdering and beating THE the living hell out of our daughters on the hour.

Once again MEN DO NOT need protecting from women in a patriarchal society!. And BW continue to ignore its (the Universe and Natures) warnings. And now BW are paying a hefty price.

We are paying a hefty price for taking on the roles that BM should have been taking on.

We are paying a price for the 70% OOW irresponsible breeding that we do. YES i said “BREEDING” because that is exactly what BW are doing.

We are paying a price for being the face of a movement that only *REALLY* cares about its male members.

We are paying a price for putting our SERIOUS issues aside or ignoring them to fight the battles of those who are literally killing and destroying us every hour on the hour.

We are paying the price for failing this generation of girls by pandering to the males in the community who are destroying us.

We are paying the price for TURNING the other cheek to hyper masculinity in BM that is now literally killing us, raping us, beating us and wearing and tearing us down mentally and emotionally and physically.

WE ARE PAYING A PRICE! And that price right now is DEATH. And for this young generation of BW and girls who we have FAILED as a collective, they are paying a hefty price.

At the rate in which BW are being killed and murdered daily, I am curious to see where our numbers will be in the next decade is some damn changes are not implemented in the average BW’s lives.

EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I have to read article after article (sometimes multiples in a day) being shared on Facebook of YOUNG Black women being killed and murdered at the hands of Black men. Be them loved ones or strangers. Also, many young BW are being killed simply by association with trifling BM who are on another low life BM’s hit list. These young girls simply by association are being killed.

Just in the last two days I have read articles in which TWO 16 year old Black girls living in different states were killed by drive by’s intended for their boyfriends. Another one was a 9 year old Black girl killed by a drive by that was meant for her father.

The latest?

You’ve heard the recent tragic event of 22 year old graduate student with a lot of potential and bright future ahead of her, Tiarah Payouh who was attending some Caribbean festival in NYC who was shot point blank range in her face for simply telling some disgusting low class BM to “get off and stop grinding on her”. I just read a story today where a 16 year old Black girl had her jaw BROKEN by a BM who she pushed away from trying to kiss her.

Y’all these stories are posted DAILY all throughout the day on Facebook.

And what this tells me is now the Black woman is paying the piper for YEARS and DECADES of ignoring so many problems with BM and the Black community and continuing to FGHT and PROTECT the very MEN who are literally killing and taking us out by the hour.

I can’t even post all the stories because they are just that much. But please believe me when I tell you, BLACK WOMEN ARE BEING KILLED In great numbers daily by Black men.

And we won’t even count the incidents that BW face outside Black communities at the hands of other men (sociopaths who know BW are not protected).

Its very sad and disheartening to read. But you know what. I understand the law of consequences. And as much as I hate to say it, BW are paying the ULTIMATE consequence for refusing to STOP doing the things that are putting us in a line of fire.

I’ve read posts by numerous BW complaining about BWE writers and those like myself who have INSISTED that we embrace and turn on our femininity because of its true power. These stupid mammies continue to twist our words and claim that, that won’t change anything. OH YEAH?

How many Asian women are killed or are victims of crimes of passions or are victims of gender sexual assaults? HOW MANY? I rarely if ever see Asian women as victims of murder etc.

In a patriarchal society the feminine woman is PROTECTED. She will be the least hurt in any situation. And the perceptions of Asian female femininity keeps them from being killed, maimed and such compared to other groups of women. The least perceived feminine women – BLACK WOMEN? We have the highest rats of murder, rape, domestic violence and then look how we are treated in society by everyone including other men who do not see our womanhood and do not extend the courtesy of protection but rather seek to inflict physical and verbal pain upon is.

DO NOT TELL ME that women who embrace and use the power of femininity in a patriarchal society cannot escape the things BW face on the daily from every one.

And if you don’t buy it then WTF have BW got to loose by trying something different by embracing feminine nature!? We already are experiencing the worse any group of women can experience and this is in a WESTERN SOCIETY where women are much more free than other societies.

BW better wake the hell up.




8-Year-Old Dies After Being Shot in Drive-By Shoot…


‘I Lost Count’: Father’s Chilling Confession On Killing 4YR Old Daughter

Man breaks girl’s jaw after she refuses to kiss him #MasculinitySoFragile





Dying teen lay with crossed fingers hoping to survive after she was shot during drive-by











Going to Toronto CANADA in August!!!🙅🏽😝😝😝

Ok my Canadian readers. Spill the beans on things I can do in 3 days!


ill be there first week in August for a work meeting the first two days and I’m staying an extra three over the weekend to just see and do things around Canada.

I’d definitely like any suggestions you may have in terms of what to see and do while I’m there!


also if anyone wants to meet up while I’m there I’d be happy to do that too!



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